"YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN"

SCREENPLAYby

GENE WILDER

FIRST DRAFT

FADE IN:

EXT. FRANKENSTEIN CASTLE

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as weknew and loved it, is illuminated by ANOTHER BOLT OFLIGHTNING.

MUSIC: AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in theb.g. as we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completelydark, except for one room -- a study in the corner of thecastle -- which is only lit by candles.

Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the study. We LOOK IN and SEE:

INT. STUDY - NIGHT

An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents.

As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES the coffin for a BETTER VIEW...

A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE," "TWO," "THREE," "FOUR..."

We are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE,"

"SIX," "SEVEN," "EIGHT..."

The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-linedcoffin. "NINE," "TEN," "ELEVEN," "T W E L V E!"

CUT TO:

THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other half hasdecayed to skull. Below his head is a skeleton, whose bonyfingers cling to a metal box.

A HAND

reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfwayout of the coffin -- the skeleton's fingers rising,involuntarily, with the box.

Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grabthe box back and place it where it was.

Now the "Hand" -- using its other hand -- grabs the box backfrom the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer resists.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

2.

whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to asmall table. He takes a tiny key out from his vest pocketand begins to unlock the metal box.

NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs inthe study, waiting to hear the contents of BeaufortFrankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-centuryTransylvanian.

Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strangegrunts as he tries to open it. With each grunt, the face ofa "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration oranger.

FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER)Fumbling fool! For two kronen I'drip that box right out of his hands.

ILSE (HIS WIFE)Shhh!

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH)Hurry. Idiot, hurry!

AGATHA (HIS WIFE)Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventyyears...another three or four secondswon't hurt.

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGERAnother three of four more seconds?I could be dead by then.

AGATHAShhh!

FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN)What if he's left you out?

HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND)Just let him try -- I'll take careof him.

ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN)Oh, Mommy...I hardly remember. Didthe Baron really like me when I wasa child?

MARLENE (HER MOTHER)Like a father!

NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG)(muttering to himself)

Wenn dieser Bloder kerl sich nichtbeeilt verde ich verruckt. Was zumTeufel machte?

3.

MARLENEShhh!

Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out anold parchment, puts on his glasses, coughs and sputters afew times, and then begins to read.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN'I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in thismy eighty third year of life, dohereby make, publish and declare thefollowing statements as and for mylast will and testament, and I directmy executor, Cornelius Waldman, toinform and assemble those personspreviously divulged to him, thatthey may hear -- in my own voice --the final disposition of my property.'

At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs"exchange curious glances.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN (CONT'D)(still reading)

'Such disposition to commerce at thehour of twelve o'clock of my onehundredth birthday. If all theconditions heretofore set forth havebeen met, now then -- hear once more,and for the last time...theauthenticity of my own voice!'

Cornelius Waldman nos to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who isstanding nearby.

Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto analready spinning record. It SCRATCHES and then begins toPLAY.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.)How do you do this thing? Where?In here? Just talk right into it? All right. Am I close enough? Allright, all right -- get the hell outof the way.

(he clears his throat,then speaks in adeep, majestic voice)

The once proud name of Frankensteinhas been dragged, by my only son,Victor, into an abyss of shame. There was a time when the name'Frankenstein' conjured dreams ofvirtue, of honor and devotion. Now,no guilt, no malignity, no miserycan be found to equal mine.

(MORE)

4.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)And the catalogue of sins of my oncedevoted son will not cease to ranklein my wounds until death shall closethem forever -- so supremely frightfulis the effect of any human endeavorto mock the stupendous mechanism ofthe Creator of the world. Did youget all that? Are you sure you got'rankle in my wounds'? I'll killyou if you screw this up. All right,all right. Now as to the dispositionof my estate.

Everyone in the room sits alert.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha...

CUT TO:

THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...and to my cousin Walter and hiswife Ilse...

CUT TO:

WALTER AND ILSE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...and to my niece Helene...

CUT TO:

HELENE

sitting with her boyfriend.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...and my dear nephew Wolfgang...

CUT TO:

WOLFGANG

sitting alone.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...and lastly, to my cherished oldfriend, Marlene, and her charmingdaughter, Anastasia...

CUT TO:

ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER

5.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...to all of you, in equal shares, Ihereby give, devise and bequeath,absolutely and without anyrestrictions whatsoever, all propertyof every sort and description, whetherreal, personal or mixed, to which myestate shall be entitled.

HENRICH AND AGATHA

are hugging each other.

WALTER AND ILSE

hugging each other.

HELENE AND ANASTASIA

hugging each other.

WOLFGANG

is hugging himself.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)Unless...!

GROUP SHOT

They all look up suddenly from their hugging.

ANOTHER ANGLE

SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH...the needle has reached the endof the first side.

HERR FALKSTEIN

lifts the arm off and turns the record over.

HERR FALKSTEIN(apologetically)

It's a seventy eight.

He places the needle on the record.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.)...Unless...my only male heir, mygreat-grandson, Frederick -- whom Ihave never seen but who is, at thetime of this recording, ten years ofage and residing in America with mygranddaughter, Katherine -- has, byhis own free will, embraced Medicineas his career and acquitted himself

(MORE)

6.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)with some measure of esteem. Then,to him I leave...everything!

The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) (CONT'D)My castle, together with itslaboratory, its public and privatelibrary, and all notes and journalscontained therein, all acreagesurrounding my estate, plus all incomeand principle thereof...in the fondhope that yet another Frankensteinshall lift our family name to aneminence of dignity, and sanity,that it once enjoyed. As for mydear friends and relations, shouldthis latter improbability come tobe...I know that I have your completeunderstanding. For the road tosalvation and repentance must bepaved up the avenue of my soul, andnot up yours, up yours, up yours, upyours, up yours...

Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record.

CORNELIUS WALDMANHerr Falkstein! Did you informFrederick Frankenstein of thisassembly and all the particulars ofthe time and place?

HERR FALKSTEINI did, sir.

He takes a cablegram out from his pocket.

HERR FALKSTEIN (CONT'D)But I received a cable only thismorning, saying that he could notcome.

CORNELIUS WALDMANWas he aware of the importance ofthis occasion?

HERR FALKSTEINYes, sir, he was. But he said hewas obligated to lecture at JohnsHopkins University.

CORNELIUS WALDMANWhat lecture could be more importantthan the will of Baron BeaufortFrankenstein?

7.

HERR FALKSTEIN(reading the cable)

'Functional areas of the cerebrum inrelation to the skull.'

The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out.

ANASTASIA(very sweetly)

Excuse me, Mr. Waldman -- excuse mefor interrupting. But is Frederick,then...a medical doctor?

CORNELIUS WALDMANYes, my dear, he is.

ANASTASIAAnd has he achieved...any specialdegree of eminence?

CORNELIUS WALDMANHe is the fifth leading authority inhis field.

ANASTASIA(sinking her headinto her hand)

Oh, shit.

CORNELIUS WALDMANHerr Falkstein -- you must go atonce and present Dr. Frankensteinwith all the details of hisinheritance. The estate will providefor your journey.

HELENEI object, Herr Waldman! This is atravesty. If the beloved great-grandson cared anything at all forthe House of Frankenstein, he wouldhave shown it by being here withthose of us who still have somerespect. I think we should completelydisregard the afterthoughts of avery old man.

CORNELIUS WALDMANMadam -- the foundation ofcivilization rests upon adherence tothe law. And the Law is the Law. Das Gesetz ist das Gesetz!

Wolfgang -- the man who mutters only in German -- CRASHESthe back of his head halfway into the wall behind him.

8.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN (CONT'D)Herr Falkstein! You have yourinstructions!

HERR FALKSTEINYes, sir.

CORNELIUS WALDMANI have taken an oath that each letterof this testament shall beexecuted...and by God, it shall bedone!

The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT byitself.

DISSOLVE TO:

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

IT READS: JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL, BALTIMORE, MARYLAND

INT. MEDICAL ARENA - DAY

Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an arenapacked with young MEDICAL STUDENTS. A lecture is in progress.

LECTURER'S VOICE(o.s.)

If we look at the base of a brainwhich has just been removed from askull, there's very little of themidbrain that we can actually see.

Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the aisletowards a vacant seat. He is carrying a briefcase and asmall metal box.

LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D)(o.s.)

Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecturelast week, if the under aspects ofthe temporal lobes are gently pulledapart, the upper portion of the stemof the brain can be seen.

Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against thecold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students intensewith concentration.

LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D)(o.s.)

This so called 'brain stem' consistsof the midbrain, a rounded protrusioncalled the pons, and a stalk taperingdownwards called the medulla oblongata

(MORE)

9.

LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D)which passes out of the skull throughthe foramen magnum and becomes, ofcourse...the spinal cord.

Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down.

LECTURER'S VOICE (CONT'D)(o.s.)

Which brings us directly to thedemonstration prepared for today. Are there any questions before weproceed?

MEDICAL STUDENT(rising)

I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein.

CUT TO:

ANOTHER ANGLE

Our first LOOK at the famous Lecturer.

FREDDYThat's 'Fronkonsteen.'

MEDICAL STUDENTI beg your pardon?

FREDDYMy name is pronounced Fron kon steen.

MEDICAL STUDENTOh! I thought it was Dr.Frankenstein.

FREDDYNo, it's Dr. Fronkonsteen!

MEDICAL STUDENTBut aren't you the grandson of thefamous Dr. Victor Frankenstein?... who performed such fascinatingexperiments in electricity andgalvanism?

FREDDYThat's true! But my grandfather,Victor was, after all, what we mightpolitely refer to as... a cuckoo!

Polite laughter.

10.

FREDDY (CONT'D)I prefer, by far, to be rememberedfor my own small contributions toscience. Now if we can proceed toyour questions.

MEDICAL STUDENTWell sir... I'm not sure I understandthe distinction between 'Reflexive'and 'Voluntary' nerve impulses.

FREDDYVery good! Since our lab work todayis a demonstration of just thatdistinction... why don't we proceed?

Behind Freddy is a PATIENT, lying on an operating table.

CARLSON, an assistant, stands near the Patient, next to asmall table of instruments.

FREDDY (CONT'D)What are we actually talking aboutwhen we use the term, 'Brain'? Weare talking about... a cauliflower!

Freddy turns to Carlson.

FREDDY (CONT'D)May I have the cauliflower, please!

Carlson hands Freddy a giant cauliflower.

FREDDY (CONT'D)If we make a small slit, down thecenter of this cauliflower...

Freddy turns to Carlson, who hands him the scalpel. Freddymakes a small slit down the center of the cauliflower.

FREDDY (CONT'D)...and then, ever so gently, gently,gently... pull it apart...

Freddy has some difficulty pulling the cauliflower apart.

It begins to crumble, but he goes on, professionally.

FREDDY (CONT'D)...we should find, with any luck atall... a stalk of... celery!

There is no celery inside the cauliflower. Freddy flushesred.

11.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to Carlson)

Where did you get this cauliflower?

CARLSONFrom your office, sir.

FREDDYDidn't you prepare it with the celerybefore my lecture?

CARLSONYes, sir. But I must have taken thewrong one when we came up.

FREDDY(in quiet rage)

Are you trying to make me look likean idiot?

CARLSONNo, sir. It will never happen again.

FREDDY(handing him thecauliflower)

Here! This cauliflower is uselessto me.

Freddy turns back to his audience.

FREDDY (CONT'D)With any normal cauliflower, we wouldhave found a stalk of celery, or...'Brain Stem' which brings us to thepractical application of our study.

Freddy moves behind the Patient on the table.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Mr. Hilltop here -- with whom I havenever worked of given any priorinstructions to -- has graciouslyoffered his services for thisafternoon's demonstration. Mr.Hilltop!

HILLTOPYes, sir?

FREDDYHave we ever seen each other beforethis afternoon?

HILLTOPNo, sir.

12.

FREDDYTell them!

HILLTOP(turning to the MedicalStudents)

No, sir -- we haven't.

FREDDY(to his audience)

Do I lie?(to Mr. Hilltop)

Would you be so kind enough to hopup on your feet and stand besidethis table.

Mr. Hill top gets off of the table and stands erect.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Mr. Hilltop! Would you raise yourleft knee, please!

Mr. Hilltop raises his left knee.

FREDDY (CONT'D)You have just witnessed a 'Voluntary'nerve impulse. It begins as astimulus from the cerebral cortex,passes through the brain stem andthen to the particular muscleinvolved. Mr. Hilltop, you may loweryour knee.

He lowers his knee.

FREDDY (CONT'D)'Reflex movements are those whichare made independently of the will,but are carried out along pathwayswhich pass between the periphery andthe central nervous system. Youfilthy, rotten, yellow son of a BITCH!

Freddy pokes his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls.

Mr. Hilltop reacts accordingly.

FREDDY (CONT'D)We are not aware of the impulses,neither do we intend them to contractour muscles. Yet -- as you can see --they work by themselves.

By this time, Mr. Hilltop has lowered his protective thigh... a little nervously.

13.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Now then! Modern research has shownus that by simply applying localpressure of ' blocking' the nerveimpulse... which can be done withany ordinary metal clamp...

Freddy reaches out his hand. Carlson hands him a bicycleclamp. Freddy holds Mr. Hilltop's head and places the clampbehind Mr. Hilltop's ears.

FREDDY (CONT'D)... Just at the swelling on theposterior nerve root -- for, oh sayfive or six seconds...

A short pause. Freddy looks at his watch.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Why you mother-grabbing BASTARD!

Freddy once again jerks his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls. This time Mr. Hilltop doesn't move. He is almost ready topass out.

FREDDY (CONT'D)All communication is shut off.

Similarly, damage to a nerve will mean that not all theimpulses can get through and there will be weakness of amuscle...

Mr. Hilltop collapses to the floor. Freddy never looks down.

FREDDY (CONT'D)...or group of muscles, with someloss of skin sensation on the areasupplied by that nerve. In spite ofour mechanical magnificence, if thereis not this continuous stream ofimpulses... we would collapse like...a bunch of broccoli.

A smattering of POLITE APPLAUSE. Freddy reaches down andremoves the metal clamp from Mr. Hilltop's head.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to Carlson)

Give him an extra dollar.

CARLSONYes, sir.

Carlson picks up Mr. Hilltop and places him on the operatingtable.

14.

FREDDYIn conclusion... it should be notedthat more than common injury to thenerve roots is always serious,because... once a nerve fibber issevered... there is no way toregenerate life back into it. Arethere any more questions before weleave?

MEDICAL STUDENTDr. Fronkonsteen!

FREDDYYes?

MEDICAL STUDENTIsn't it true that Darwin preserveda piece of vermicelli in a glasscase until, by some extraordinarymeans, it actually began to movewith voluntary motion?

FREDDYA piece of what?

MEDICAL STUDENTVermicelli.

FREDDYAre you speaking of the worm, or ...the spaghetti.

MEDICAL STUDENTWhy the worm, Sir.

FREDDYAh! In science you must be veryprecise -- it can spell the differencebetween life and death.

(to Carlson)I don't want that fellow in classnext semester.

CARLSONYes, sir.

FREDDYHe has a big mouth.

(to Medical Student)Yes! It seems to me I did readsomething about that incident as astudent. But you have to rememberthat a worm -- with very fewexceptions-- is not a human being.

15.

MEDICAL STUDENTBut wasn't that the whole basis ofyour grandfathers work, sir...? there-animation of component parts?

FREDDYMy father was a sick man.

MEDICAL STUDENTBut aren't you the least bit curiousabout it, Doctor? Doesn't the secretof life hold any intrigue for you?

FREDDYYou are talking about the gibberishravings of a lunatic mind.

MEDICAL STUDENTYes, but, sir... if it could beaccomplished, wouldn't that eliminatedisease from the human frame andrender man invulnerable to any but aviolent death?

FREDDYHow old are you, young man?

MEDICAL STUDENTNineteen, sir.

FREDDYNineteen! My dear young man... once the human organism has ceasedto function, nature has deemed thatcreature to be dead.

MEDICAL STUDENTBut look at what's been done withhearts and kidneys!

FREDDYHearts and kidneys are Tinker Toys! I'm talking about the Central NervousSystem.

MEDICAL STUDENTBut, sir...

FREDDYI am a scientist...! not aphilosopher.

He holds up his scalpel.

16.

FREDDY (CONT'D)You have more chance of re-animatingthis knife than you have of mendinga broken nervous system,

MEDICAL STUDENTBut your grandfather's work, sir...

FREDDYMy grandfather's work was Doo-Doo! Dead is Dead! There's only one thingI am interested in... and that isthe preservation of LIFE!

POLITE APPLAUSE. However, on the word "Life," Freddy hasplunged the scalpel into his thigh by mistake. No one butFreddy and the Movie Audience is aware of this.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Class... is... dismissed!

The students begin to leave.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Carlson!

CARLSONYes, sir?

FREDDYBring me some surgical gauze, a littletape and some disinfectant.

CARLSONYes, sir. Do you want the othercauliflower?

FREDDY... No!

Herr Falkstein approaches with the metal box.

HERR FALKSTEINDr. Frankenstein?

FREDDY(through his teeth)

Fron kon steen!

HERR FALKSTEINMy name is Gerhart Falkstein.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. A CITY STREET - DAY

Herr Falkstein and Freddy are walking along the sidewalk.

17.

In the distance, a little OLD VIOLINIST, wearing a Tyroleanhat, plays a cheerful tune on his violin. His open violincase rests on the ground beside him.

FREDDYOne hundred thousand dollars???

HERR FALKSTEINOh, at least, sir. The land aloneis worth a small fortune.

FREDDYBut I can't just drop everything andleave. I have responsibilities andobligations.

HERR FALKSTEINDo you have a hundred thousand ofthem, sir?

Freddy looks at Herr Falkstein. The little Old Violinisthas finished his cheerful tune. He now plays the eerieTransylvanian Lullaby that was heard at the opening.

FREDDYHow long will this whole thing take?

HERR FALKSTEINA week. Ten days at most.

FREDDYI'll have to think it over. It'snot so easy just to pick up and...

Freddy stops -- the music seeping into a dark and forgottencorner of his brain.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Curious melody! Haunting, isn't it?

Freddy, followed by Herr Falkstein, walks back a few stepsand stands next to the Old Violinist as he plays.

FREDDY (CONT'D)What's that tune that you're playing

OLD VIOLINISTZis is an old Transylvanian Lullaby.

FREDDYHow sweet! Such a quaint littletune.

Freddy rubs his temples with his fingertips for a moment.

FREDDY (CONT'D)May I see your violin?

18.

OLD VIOLINIST(handing Freddy theviolin)

It's an honor for me, sir. You playthe violin?

FREDDYOh, just a little.

Freddy examines the violin.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Nice! Nice little balance to it.

OLD VIOLINISTJa, ja.

Freddy, without any emotion, smashes the violin over hisknee and then hands the two halves back to the Old Violinist.

FREDDYThank you very much.

The Old Violinist takes the two halves, open-mouthed.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to Herr Falkstein)

Well... if you're sure that I couldaccomplish everything in a week... I suppose I could manage it.

HERR FALKSTEINWhy did you do that?

FREDDYWhat?

HERR FALKSTEINBreak that old man's violin.

FREDDYI didn't do that.

HERR FALKSTEINThe old violinist -- you smashed hisviolin over your knee.

FREDDYI did not do that. Why would I do athing like that...? Are you insane?

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

IT READS:

"IS THIS THE FIRST SIGN OF A SPLIT PERSONALITY?"

19.

BACK TO THE SCENE

Now Freddy and Herr Falkstein are standing on a corner.

FREDDY (CONT'D)All right then, I suppose I owe thefamily that much. You'll haveeverything ready for me when I arrive?

HERR FALKSTEINYes, sir.

FREDDYOne week at the most!?

HERR FALKSTEINOne week -- I'll see to it, sir.

FREDDYWell, thank you very much for allyour trouble.

They shake hands.

HERR FALKSTEINNot at all -- a great privilege,Doctor.

FREDDYSaturday night then! I'll take thetrain to New York and fly from there.

HERR FALKSTEINSaturday night, yes, sir. Have apleasant journey!

Freddy walks off. Herr Falkstein looks back at the littleOld Violinist, who is playing the TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY onthe top half of his violin.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT

Freddy, with a large suitcase and a small briefcase, standsnext to a lot of steam...behind which, there appears to be awaiting train. With Freddy is his beautiful, flat-chestedfiancee, ELIZABETH.

ELIZABETHDarling!...you will be careful!?

FREDDYOf course.

ELIZABETHYou have your tickets?

20.

FREDDYYes.

ELIZABETHAnd your passport?

FREDDYYes, don't worry.

ELIZABETHCall me from New York before youleave??

FREDDYYes.

ELIZABETHPromise??

FREDDYI promise.

ELIZABETHOh, darling -- I'll count the hoursthat you're away.

FREDDYOh, darling -- so will I.

CONDUCTOR(o.s.)

Board! All aboard!

FREDDYI'd better leave.

They look at each other; then kiss.

ELIZABETHWill you miss me?

FREDDYVery....very!

ELIZABETHMother's going to help me with theinvitations.

FREDDYOh, nice.

ELIZABETHI hope you like large weddings.

FREDDYWhatever makes you happy.

21.

ELIZABETHI've trimmed the list to only ourvery closest friends...but it stillcomes to three thousand.

FREDDYYou're incorrigible!

ELIZABETHDoes that mean you love me?

FREDDYYou bet your boots it does.

CONDUCTOR(o.s.)

All aboard!

ELIZABETHHurry now -- before I make a fool ofmyself.

They kiss quickly.

FREDDYGoodbye, darling.

Freddy DISAPPEARS into the steam.

ELIZABETHGoodbye, Freddy! Hurry back to me!

FREDDY(o.s., from the steam)

I will! Goodbye, darling!

ELIZABETHGoodbye, darling.

A long pause, as Elizabeth gazes into the mass of steam.

She wipes a tear from her eye.

ELIZABETH (CONT'D)(whispering to herself)

Goodbye, darling.

FREDDY(o.s., from the steam)

Goodbye, darling!

A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.

ANGLE ON TRAIN

22.

The train starts up.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TRAIN - NIGHT

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book.

A FEW PEOPLE sit near him.

A CONDUCTOR

walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTORNew York next! Everyone out for NewYork!

Freddy looks out the window.

DISSOLVE TO:

A TRAIN - (STOCK) - NIGHT

whizzing through the night.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN - SUNSET

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book.

A FEW EUROPEANS sit near him.

LEGEND OVER THE SCREEN

IT READS:

"SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE"

A CONDUCTOR

wearing a Tyrolean Conductor's hat, walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTORTransylvania nachste! Jeder austeigenfur TRANSYLVANIA!

Freddy looks out the window. He reaches up and takes hissuitcase and briefcase off of the rack above him. Then heraises his window and looks out at:

A TEN YEAR-OLD GERMAN BOY

dressed in lederhosen, a cap, and a shoeshine kit on hisback.

23.

FREDDY(calling out to him)

Pardon me, boy! Is that theTransylvania Station?

GERMAN BOYJa, this is track twenty-nine.

He starts OFF.

GERMAN BOY (CONT'D)Oh, can I give you a shine?

FREDDYThank you, no.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT

Freddy gets off the ancient train and looks for someone

WHO MIGHT BE THERE TO MEET HIM. HE SETS DOWN HIS SUIT-

case and briefcase.

ANOTHER ANGLE

From out of the darkness, IGOR, a strange man with a hunchedback, walks towards him. Behind Igor is a woman, INGA.

IGORFrederick Frankenstein?

FREDDYFron kon steen!

IGORAre you putting me on?

FREDDYNo, it's pronounced Fron kon steen.

IGORAnd do you also say Fro dereck?

FREDDYNo, Fred ereck.

IGORWhy isn't it Frodereck Fronkon steen?

FREDDYIt's not. It's FredereckFronkonsteen.

24.

IGORI see.

FREDDYYou must be Igor.

Igor thinks a moment.

IGORNo, it's pronounced Aye gor.

FREDDYBut they told me it was Ee gor.

IGORWell, they were wrong then, weren'tthey?

FREDDYYou were sent by Herr Falkstein,weren't you?

IGORYes, that's right. My grandfatherand your grandfather used to palaround together. You and I shouldhave a lot of laughs.

FREDDYI'm sure we will.

IGOR(indicating the large-breasted woman behindhim)

This is Inga. They thought you mightneed an assistant temporarily.

FREDDYHow do you do?

INGAExtremely well.

FREDDYHow nice.

IGORAre these your bags?

FREDDYYes, just the two.

Igor takes the small briefcase and walks OFF. Freddy takesthe large suitcase and follows with Inga.

25.

INGADid you have a pleasant trip?

FREDDYYes, thank you. It wasn't bad.

They follow Igor past two men -- Dracula and Wolfman -- whoare sitting quietly on a platform bench. One of the menwears a huge black cape and has two enormous eye teeth.

The other man's face and hands are covered with wolf's hair.

IGOR(singing to himself)

Sun -- rise... Sun -- set! Dee --dum... Dee -- dum.

Freddy, struggling with his suitcase, stares in polite horrorat the two men as he and Inga walk past them.

FREDDYGood evening.

DRACULAGood evening.

WOLFMANGood evening.

Freddy and Inga continue on, walking under a dangling sign:

"TRANSYLVANIA STATION"

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - A FEW MINUTES LATER - NIGHT

A cart, drawn by two horses, travels up a lonely road.

Igor is at the reins. In the back, sitting in mountains ofhay, are Freddy and Inga.

INGADid you ever have a roll in the hay?

FREDDY(a little nervous)

I'm not sure I...get your drift.

Inga begins to roll herself over and over in the hay.

INGAYou should try it -- it's fun.

Somewhat embarrassed, Freddy leans over to speak to Igor.

26.

FREDDYIncidentally -- I don't mean toembarrass you in any way, but I'm arather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps Ican help you with that hump.

IGORWhat hump?

Freddy tries to recover.

FREDDYWell...perhaps we can talk about itlater.

He turns back to Inga for relief. Just then: a BOLT OFLIGHTNING! Inga comes close to Freddy.

INGASometimes I'm afraid of the lightning.

FREDDYJust an atmospheric discharge.

Nothing to be afraid of.

A HORRIFYING CRY OF A WOLF!

FREDDY (CONT'D)(making a joke)

Werewolf.

IGORThere.

FREDDYI beg your pardon?

IGOR(pointing to the woods)

There wolf!(pointing up the road)

There castle!

FREDDYWhy are you talking like that?

IGORI thought you wanted to.

FREDDYNo.

IGORSuit yourself...I'm easy.

(MORE)

27.

IGOR (CONT'D)(confidentially,indicating Inga)

Better watch out for the wockers.

FREDDYWhat wockers?

IGORThe wockers with the knockers.

FREDDYWockers with the knockers???

IGORGo ahead, play dumb! You'll loseyour sockers and then be fockers.

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING.

IGOR (CONT'D)(pointing to the topof the hill)

Well, there it is...

CUT TO:

THE CASTLE - NIGHT

illuminated by the lightning.

IGOR (CONT'D)(o.s., as we see thecastle)

Home!

FREDDY(to himself)

Home.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE CASTLE

As they approach the gigantic front door, FRAU BLUCHER opensa smaller door, within the giant door, and stands on thefront stairs to greet them. She holds a lit candelabra.

FRAU BLUCHERWelcome! I am Frau Blucher.

At the sound of her name, the HORSES REAR.

IGORDown! Down! Steady!!

28.

Freddy takes his suitcase and helps Inga out of the cart. Heapproaches Frau Blucher.

FREDDYHow do you do? I am Dr. Fronkonsteen.

This is my assistant. Inga -- may I present Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR.

IGORDown! Get down, you beasts!

FREDDYI wonder what's got into them?

FRAU BLUCHERYour rooms are ready, Herr Doctor. If you will follow me, please.

She indicates the small door.

FREDDY(calling to Igor)

Aye-gor! We'll wait for you inside. Hurry, please!

He turns to the door.

FREDDY (CONT'D)After you Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR. Freddy, Inga and Frau Blucher havedisappeared through the small door. Igor struggles with therearing horses.

IGOREasy. Easy! What's very sticky andrhymes with shoe?

The horses calm down.

IGOR (CONT'D)That's better.

Igor takes Freddy's briefcase and heads for the door.

IGOR (CONT'D)(to the horses)

I'll be back shortly. Just think ofmodel airplanes.

Igor shuns the smaller door and pulls the handle that opensthe giant door. He walks into the castle.

CUT TO:

29.

INT. RECEPTION HALL

Frau Blucher is waiting on a large staircase with Freddy andInga. Igor comes up to them.

FRAU BLUCHERShall we proceed?

They all follow in the aura of Frau Blucher's candlelight.

From outside there is a: LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. When theyreach the top of the stairs, Frau Blucher starts down acorridor. Igor walks up to a light switch and tries it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as ALL THE LIGHTS COME ON. Igor turns the lights off again,gesturing to Freddy not to say anything because Frau Bluchermight be a little bonkers. Inga, Freddy and Igor turn intothe corridor and disappear.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FREDDY'S BEDROOM

A fire is going in the fire place. Candles are lit in wallsconces. One wall is devoted to books.

FRAU BLUCHERI hope you find this comfortable. This was Baron Victor's room.

FREDDYIt seems fine.

FRAU BLUCHERYou'll fine the keys to all the roomsin my cas... all the rooms in yourcastle on this ring. I'll leave iton the table here.

FREDDYDoes that include the key to thelaboratory?

FRAU BLUCHERYou mean... the laboratory??

FREDDYYes!... the laboratory.

FRAU BLUCHERNo! Dr. Frankenstein always keptthat separate.

FREDDYMay I have it, please?

30.

A pregnant pause.

FRAU BLUCHEROf course.

She pulls up on a chain around her neck. At the end of thechain is a key that had been resting against her bosom.

She takes it off, kisses it quickly, and sets it on the table.

FREDDY(examining the bookcase)

There seem to be quite a few books.

FRAU BLUCHERYes, this was Victor's... the Baron'smedical library.

FREDDYI see. And where is my grandfather'sprivate library?

FRAU BLUCHERI don't know what you mean, sir.

FREDDYwell, there was a public and a privatelibrary -- he said so in his will. these books are all very general --any doctor might have them in hisstudy.

FRAU BLUCHERThis is the only library I know of.

FREDDYSurely he kept his notes -- hisprivate papers and records in someother place?

FRAU BLUCHERI think you must be mistaken, sir.

FREDDYWell... we'll see.

FRAU BLUCHERWill there be anything else?

FREDDYI don't think so. Is my assistanttaken care of?

FRAU BLUCHERI put her in the guest room, justdown the hall.

31.

FREDDYGood.

She leaves. Freddy starts back towards the bookcase andpulls book.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Door opens and Inga enters.

INGAAre you busy?

FREDDYThat's quite all right. What is it,dear?

INGACould I lie down in your bed for alittle while? I just can't sleep.

FREDDYWe only arrived a few minutes ago.

INGAI know, but usually I can fall asleepright away. It must be the strangeroom.

FREDDYWell...

INGAOh please -- just till I get sleepy. Then you can force me right back tomy room.

FREDDYWell.. I suppose it would be allright, for just a little while.

Inga gets into Freddy's bed.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Would you like a sandwich?

INGANo, thanks! I want to get right tosleep.

FREDDYWell... I'll just finish unpacking.

As Freddy continues to unpack, he hears a STRANGE "BLOWING"

32.

SOUND coming from outside. He goes to the window and looksup.

CUT TO:

A TURRET AT THE TOP OF THE CASTLE

Igor sits in the window, trying to blow a ram's horn. Hetries and tries, but can't get one good sustained not.

Finally, he throws the ram's horns away and picks up atrumpet. He blows some "SWEET" BLUES.

CUT TO:

FREDDY

lying in a chaise lounge near the bed, reading. He wearshis robe over his clothes. Freddy looks at Inga, who issound asleep. Now he drains the last of his glass of fruitjuice and sets it down on an end table. he turns over tosleep. The CAMERA BEGINS TO PAN SLOWLY to the bedroom window. On its way, we SEE: A FEW DROPS OF FRUIT JUICE drippingdown the inside of the glass that Freddy has just put down.

ANGLE THROUGH THE BEDROOM WINDOW (STOCK FOOTAGE) CLOUDS PASSACROSS A FULL MOON.

DISSOLVE TO:

LATER THAT NIGHT

Deadly silence! As the CAMERA PANS from the clouds, SLOWLYBACK ACROSS THE ROOM, suddenly -- from the deep recesses orthe castle -- A VIOLIN IS HEARD PLAYING: THE EERIETRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. As the CAMERA reaches Freddy, he istossing restlessly in his sleep.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Stop it. Stop it, I tell you I don'twant to be perfect. Can't youunderstand that? I don't want to beperfect!

Freddy wakes with a start. He sits up and listens to theMUSIC. Then he stands and crosses to the bed.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Inga!

INGA(in her sleep)

Yes, you may... but don't make anynoise.

33.

FREDDY(shaking her)

Inga, wake up!

INGA(slowly waking)

What is it? Is something wrong,Doctor?

FREDDYListen! Don't you hear that strangemusic?

INGA(listening)

Yes! What could it be at this hour?

FREDDYI don't know. It just woke me up.

Freddy goes to the bookcase; Inga follows.

FREDDY (CONT'D)It seem to be coming from behindthis bookcase.

He puts his ear against the books and then fells for somehidden button or handle.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Hand me one of those candles!

Inga takes a candle from a wall sconce and hands it to Freddy. He looks closely at the books, examining some of the titles. One title reads:

INSERT - TITLE "SEX AND HAIR GROWTH: IT'S UP TO YOU"

FREDDY

out of amazement, pulls the book from the shelf.

ANOTHER ANGLE A SMALL DOOR OPENS IN THE BOOKCASE.

INGADr. Fronkonsteen -- look!

FREDDY(listening throughthe open door)

Whatever it is, it's coming fromdown there. I'm going down to see.

INGALet me come with you, Doctor, please! I don't want to stay up here alone.

34.

FREDDYAll right then, quietly! Close yourrobe and stay right behind me. Don'tmake a sound!

They enter the secret passage.

INT. SECRET PASSAGE

Freddy, holding the candle above them, follows the MUSICdown a narrow, winding stairway. The source of the MUSIC

GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER, AS THEY FOLLOW THE YELLOW CANDLE-

light down, down, down... brushing against the cobwebbedwalls. As they pass one section of wall, an ancient signcan just barely be made out in the after glow of their light. It reads:

CAPACITY: NOT MORE THAN 3 PERSONS

BY ORDER OF: FIRE DEPT.

Finally, they reach a landing. A door separates them fromwhatever lies beyond. Freddy takes hold of the handle... it crumbles in his hand like dust. He gently pushes againstthe door. It CREAKS slowly open. The VIOLIN

MUSIC STOPS!

INT. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN'S LABORATORY

Freddy and Inga walk into the now famous room. A strangelight comes from around a corner. As they walk towards thelight, they pass a shelf lined with skulls. They look ateach ancient head as they pass. Inga shudder with horror.

The forth head is Igor. It looks as if his head is on theshelf, but actually he is standing just behind the shelf. He smiles.

FREDDYAye-gor!

IGORFro-derick!

FREDDYWhat are you doing here?

IGORI got frightened all alone upstairs,so I came down here.

He leads them around the corner, where a glass bowl filledwith water is being heated by small flame.

35.

FREDDYBut what you were doing?

IGORJust putting up some tea.

FREDDYDid you hear that strange music?

IGORWhat?

FREDDYDid you hear that strange music??

IGORWhat?

FREDDYDid you hear that strange music?

IGORNo, not sound.

INGAThere must have been someone elsedown here then.

FREDDYIt seems that way.

(to Igor)You didn't hear any music at all?

IGORWhat?

FREDDYYou didn't hear... nothing! Aren'tthere any lights in this place?

IGORTwo switches over there, but I wasn'tgoing to be the first.

Freddy walks over and throws the first switch. OPEN ENDED

ELECTRICAL CURRENTS SHOOT OUT ALL OVER.

IGOR (CONT'D)Well, it's all right for atmosphere.

Freddy turns off the first switch and then throws the otherone.

"NORMAL" LIGHTS GO ON

36.

Now the lab can be SEEN in all its old splendor, but thickin dust and spiders' webs.

INGAOoh!

FREDDYWhat a filthy mess.

IGORI don't know... a little paint, someflowers...

FREDDYDid you see anyone else down here?

IGORNo, but when I first came in, therewas a light coming from behind thatsteel door.

A huge steel door is open a few inches. Freddy goes to thedoor and listens, then opens it and they all walk in... hesitantly.

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

By the light of Freddy's candle, they see a small, creepyroom, filled with musty books. There is a table in the centerof the floor. On the table there is a large book, an ashtray,and a VIOLIN AND BOW.

INGA(seeing the violin)

Look, Doctor!

FREDDYWell, this explains the music.

INGABut who was playing it?

There is a smoldering cigar in the ashtray.

FREDDYI don't know, but whoever it wasbarely finished putting out his cigar. It's still smoldering.

(to Igor)Let me smell your breath.

Igor exhales in Freddy's face. Freddy nearly passes out.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Well, it wasn't you.

He looks around the room.

37.

FREDDY (CONT'D)What is this place?

IGORMust be the music room.

INGAThere's nothing but books and papers.

FREDDYI wonder...

He looks at the large book lying on the table. He puts hiscandle over the cover. A LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER as we SEE:

CLOSE SHOT - BOOK

"HOW I DID IT" BY VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN. Camera pulls back.

FREDDY (CONT'D)It is! This was my grandfather'sprivate library. Look at this!

IGOR(reading the cover ofthe book)

'How I Did It.' Good title!

FREDDYFunny it should just be lying outhere on the table. I wonder whatkind of dribble this is?

He opens to the first page.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(reading aloud)

'Whence, I often asked myself, didthe principles of life proceed? Toexamine the causes of life... wemust first have recourse to death.' God, what a looney bin!

ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. Freddy's candle almost blowsout from a draft.

INGAOh, doctor!

FREDDYPerhaps we'd better leave.

IGORTaking the book along?

38.

FREDDYYes, I think we could all use a goodlaugh.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LAB

Freddy is convulsed with laughter.

FREDDYThis guy is too much.

Inga and Igor stare passively. The three of them are drinkingtea. More water is boiling in a test tube.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(reading)

'...and as soon as the dazzling lightvanished, the oak tree haddisappeared. I knew then thatelectricity and galvanism had changedmy life.'

He howls.

FREDDY (CONT'D)This guy is bonkers! Did you everhear anything like this??

ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER.

As Freddy goes on reading, the CAMERA TRAVELS UP, UP, UP...

THROUGH the giant laboratory... as if to seek the source ofthe THUNDER we HEAR, as the CAMERA MOVES UP:

FREDDY'S VOICE(o.s.)

'When I look back now, it seems tome as if this almost miraculous eventobliterated any last effort by thespirit of preservation to avert thestorm that was even then hanging inthe stars.'

MORE THUNDER.

FREDDY'S VOICE (CONT'D)(o.s.)

He kills me! This guy kills me.

The CAMERA FINDS a large opening in the ceiling -- an openingthrough which bodies might be elevated during an electricalstorm. THUNDER CLOUDS CAN BE SEEN as the CAMERA PASSESTHROUGH the opening into the night air.

39.

FREDDY'S LAUGHTER is still HEARD from below. there is aGIANT CRACKLE OF LIGHTNING - as if in reply.

Now the CAMERA TRAVELS DOWN. Time has passes and Freddy'svoice is hoarse, and more intense, and as the CAMERA TRAVELSDOWN:

FREDDY'S VOICE(o.s.)

'Until, from the midst of thisdarkness, a sudden light broke inupon me -- a light so brilliant andwondrous, and yet so simple!'

The CAMERA has reached Freddy. His eyes are burning; hereads almost feverishly. Inga and Igor are half asleep.

FREDDY(reading)

'Change the poles from plus to minusand from minus to plus!'

Freddy howls insanely.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(reading)

'I alone succeeded in discoveringthe cause of generation of life.'

He doubles over in laughter.

FREDDY (CONT'D)'Nay, even more -- I, myself becamecapable of bestowing animation uponlifeless matter.'

He laughs, he laughs, he laughs... then SMASHES his tea glassagainst a wall.

FREDDY (CONT'D)It could work!!

A TUMULTUOUS CLAP OF THUNDER.

CUT TO:

IGOR'S FACE

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. He has a quizzicalsmile.

CUT TO:

INGA'S FACE

40.

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. Frightened, yet inawe.

CUT TO:

FRAU BLUCHER'S FACE - IN A ROOM

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. She is SMOKING A CIGAR.

CUT TO:

BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN'S COFFIN

Illuminated be a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. THE LID SLAMS OPEN

AND SHUT, OPEN AND SHUT.

CUT TO:

FREDDY'S FACE

Illuminated by a CRACK OF LIGHTNING. The dark circles underhis eyes suggest that he is IRREVERSIBLY INSANE.

LEGEND

It reads: "IRREVERSIBLY COMMITTED TO THE DARK

DESTINY OF ALL THOSE WHO BEAR THE NAME OF 'FRANKENST' NAMEOF 'FRANKENSTEIN' 'FRONKONSTEEN.'"

FADE OUT

FADE IN

INT. LABORATORY - MORNING

A work space has been hastily prepared. Freddy, dressedquite properly in riding boots and tweed jacket, is readingfrom "the great book".

Inga, dressed in her Lab gown, is taking notes. Igor isdrawing on a large pad.

FREDDY'As the minuteness of the parts formeda great hindrance to my speed, Iresolved to make the Creature of agigantic stature.' Of course! Thatwould simplify everything.

INGA(pointing to anotherparagraph)

And look at this, Doctor!

41.

FREDDY(reading)

'Dilation of his sacralparasympathetic impulses would causean increase in flow of blood and theerection to approximately nineteeninches of his apparatus genitals.'

IGORHis what??

INGAHis schwanzstucker.

IGORWhew! A nineteen-inch drill.

FREDDYNow then! What we're aiming for, isa being about eight feet in height,and all features proportionably large.

Igor shows his drawing.

IGORSomething like this?

They all look at the drawing.

They, and we, SEE a crude but impressive sketch of THEMONSTER, and as we look at the drawing:

FREDDY'S VOICE(o.s.)

You've caught something there. Yes! As a matter of fact -- I think --that this -- might -- be -- our --man!

As our eyes travel from the top of the drawing to the feet:

MATCH DISSOLVE TO:

A PAIR OF VERY LARGE, REAL FEET

Now the CAMERA MOVES from the feet, BACK UP.

EXT. GIBBET - DAY

A gigantic BODY is standing on a scaffold. when we reachthe head, it is somehow incongruous: A sweet, boyish face --with a rope around its neck.

The "Body" is about to be hanged. next to it stands anEXECUTIONER.

42.

EXECUTIONERHave anything to say?

THE BODY(in quiet anger)

MMmmmgrrrrrrrrr!

EXECUTIONERAnything else?

THE "BODY" THINKS. THEN:

THE BODYGo shove it up your --

The Executioner throws the lever and THE TRAP DOOR FALLSOPEN.

The "Body" hangs, lifeless.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

LEAVES BLOW ACROSS A COLD CEMETERY.

A coffin is carried by FOUR PALLBEARERS to a deep grave.

RELATIVES are waiting by the grave site.

Through an iron gate surrounding the cemetery, TWO DARKFIGURES peek through the rails and observe the funeral.

One of them has a hunched back.

SOFT MOANING is HEARD from one of the Relatives. A MINISTERmumbles Latin under his breath.

The Pallbearers set the coffin down on ropes placed over thegravesite. A short distance away are a FATHER and a MOTHER,standing next to a weeping DAUGHTER.

FATHERHe was a good man.

MOTHERHe was an angel.

FATHERHe was a saint!

A pause.

MOTHERShe had to marry this rotten piginstead.

43.

FATHERHanging was too good -- they shouldhave soaked him in lye.

The minister nods and TWO GRAVE DIGGERS lower the coffin.

The Daughter throws a bouquet of flowers onto the descendingcoffin. The Minister throws a handful on dirt on top of thecoffin -- representing "Ashes to Ashes."

CUT TO:

INSIDE COFFIN

We SEE the FROZEN FACE of "The Body," and HEAR the sprinkleddirt as it HITS the coffin lid.

A little dirt seeps in through the lid and lands on the lipsof the frozen face.

Ever so subtly, the lips make a spitting motion to clear thedirt away.

CUT TO:

EXT. GRAVEYARD

The Grave Diggers are shoveling dirt into the grave. TheRelatives and Minister are leaving.

FIRST GRAVE DIGGERWhat a filthy job!

SECOND GRAVE DIGGERCould be worse!

DISSOLVE TO:

FREDDY AND IGOR

Knee-deep in the grave, shoveling the dirt out.

FREDDYWhat a filthy job!

IGORCould be worse!

FREDDYHow?

IGORCould be raining!

A CRACK OF THUNDER.

44.

Freddy stares at Igor.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. A STREET

Freddy and Igor carry the coffin down a street in the

POURING RAIN.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy and Igor are just setting the heavy coffin down on anoperating table. they take the lid off the hinges and setit aside.

FREDDYWait! Let's tip the coffin over,then just lift it off. It'll bemuch easier.

They tip the coffin over, upside down, like a cake pan.

Now... They lift the coffin up... but the operating tableremains empty.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Set it down!

They set it down on the table again. Freddy gives the bottomof the coffin (which is now on top), a big WHACK!

They lift the coffin up again and there is the "Body."

It had been struck.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(looking at the "Body")

Magnificent!

He checks its nails.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Very little decay. With thismagnificent specimen for a body, allwe need now is an equally magnificentbrain.

(he looks at Igor)You know what to do!

IGORI have a pretty good idea.

Igor glances at the movie audience for a moment.

45.

FREDDYDo you have the name I wrote down?

IGOR(looking at his sleeve)

Yes. Dr. H. Delbruck.

FREDDYI want that brain.

IGORWas he any good?

FREDDYWas he any good??? He was the finestnatural philosopher, internal medicinediagnostician and chemical therapistof this century.

IGORHmm!

FREDDYAnd he wrote seventeen cookbooks.

IGORThat's not bad.

FREDDYCan you imagine that brain in thisbody?

IGORI'm getting excited just thinkingabout it. What if he's not there?

FREDDYHe only died two weeks ago -- I'msure they'll still have him. Hurrynow. I'll prepare the body.

IGOR(starting to leave)

Oh! May I call you 'Master'?

FREDDYWhy?

IGORIt's always been one of my favoritenames.

FREDDYIf you like -- just hurry!

IGORThank you, Master.

46.

Freddy rolls up the "Body's" right sleeve. He gazes at theimmensity of the hand in amazement and awe.

FREDDYLook at this hand! Look at thesefingers!

A sudden thought twists through his brain. He sets the deadarm up on its elbow, intertwines his own right hand withthat of the "Body's," and gets set for an "Indian ArmWrestle."

Freddy forces the dead arm down -- not without some difficulty --and then gives the "Body" a triumphant sneer.

DISSOLVE TO:

A HOSPITAL DOOR

The upper half of the door is made of glass. On the glassis printed:

B R A I N D E P O S I T A R Y AFTER 5:00 P.M. SHOVE BRAINTHROUGH SLOT IN DOOR

The SHADOW OF A MAN can be SEEN silhouetted from inside theDepository. The Man has a large hump on his back.

CUT TO:

INT. DEPOSITORY - NIGHT

LOW THUNDER!

A row of brains in jars, under glass domes, rests on a long,narrow table.

Igor tiptoes slowly, examining the labels on each glass domethat he passes.

ALBERTUS MAGNUS CORNELIUS AGRIPPA LAWRENCE TALBOT

(Physicist) (Natural Philosopher) (Hematologist)

THEN HE COMES TO:

HANS DELBRUCK(Scientist & Saint)

Igor approaches the glass dome, liftsit off, and takes the jar containingthe brain of Hans Delbruck.

As he turns to go, he sees himself in a Full-length mirror.He drops the jar in fright. He looks down and sees the gooksmass of brain and glass.

He looks at the Movie Audience.

47.

IGORFunny thing is... I tried!

He sweeps some of the mess under the table with his foot.

IGOR (CONT'D)(muttering to himself)

Freud would have a heyday with this. Well...

He looks quickly at the "Brain table," grabs a jar from underthe glass dome nearest to him, and leaves.

On the glass dome, whose contents Igor has just taken, isprinted:

DO NOT USE THIS BRAIN!

"ABNORMAL"

CUT TO:

THE SKY

An ominous BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

CUT TO:

THE FACE OF THE "BODY"

He has a few cute stitch marks. Electrodes stick out fromboth sides of his neck.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy, wearing a long, white surgeon's gown and surgicalmask, stands over the "Body," which is strapped across thechest and thighs. Freddy has a thimble on the finger of onehand -- a needle and thread in the other.

FREDDYFinished!

The "Body" is on an operating table, which is in the centerof a platform directly below the opening in the ceiling.

Inga stands nearby.

INGAWhat a beautiful job!

Freddy looks up to the opening in the ceiling.

FREDDY(shouting)

Ready??(MORE)

48.

FREDDY (CONT'D)

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF

Igor stands on the roof, flying two kites in order to attractthe lightning bolts. He is wearing rubber boots, rubbergloves, and a rubber whaler's coat and hat.

IGOR(shouting down)

You're sure you know what you'redoing?

FREDDYYes! It's all written down in thenotes. Tie off the kites and comedown!

IGORYes, master. Just don't turn on anyradios.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy hands Inga the needle and thread. Then he grabs anelectrical plug, connected to a "battery indicator," andplugs it into two small slits in one of the electrodes inthe "Body's" throat... as you would plug in a lamp. He readsthe indicator.

FREDDYSoon, all the electrical secrets ofHeaven shall be mine.

INGAOh, Frederick... you're not only agreat doctor, you're a great... you're almost a...

FREDDYA god?

INGAYes!

FREDDYI know.

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

Igor comes down a small, spiral staircase from the roof.

IGORYou'd better hurry -- I think it'sgoing to rain.

49.

FREDDY(to Inga)

All right... elevate me!

INGARight here?

FREDDYRaise the platform, hurry!

INGAOh! Yes, Doctor.

She turns a giant wheel on the wall. The platform risestowards the opening in the ceiling, with Freddy and the "Body"on ,it.

FREDDY(as he is going up)

The ancient masters promisedimpossibilities and performed nothing. We shall penetrate into the recessesof nature. We shall ascend into theHeavens. We shall command thethunders of Heaven, mimic theearthquake and even mock the invisibleworld with its own shadows.

IGORTonight?

FREDDYYes! When I give the word -- throwthe first switch!

IGORYou've got it, master.

The platform rises higher and higher. RAIN starts to comedown on Freddy.

FREDDYGet ready!

The platform nears the opening.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Get set!

The platform rises through the opening and then stops. NowFreddy is out in the open air, on the roof.

EXT. ROOF

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING and a CRACK OF THUNDER!

50.

FREDDYGo!!

INT. LABORATORY

Igor throws the first switch.

SPARKS, CURRENTS, DIALS capture our eyes.

EXT. ROOF

Freddy is getting drenched. He tries to check the "batteryindicator" plugged into the "Body."

FREDDY(shouting down)

Throw the second switch!

INT. LABORATORY

IGOR(throwing the switch)

This guy means business.

Igor looks up in awe.

EXT. ROOF

MORE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.

FREDDYIt's not enough. More! More, doyou hear me?

IGORWhat?

FREDDYMore, do you hear me?

IGORWhat?

FREDDYThrow the third switch!

IGOR(throwing the switch)

Wait till he sees the bill.

INT. LABORATORY

The Laboratory is an electrical circus.

51.

EXT. ROOF

FREDDYAll right -- turn everything off andbring me down!

INT. LABORATORY

Inga turns the giant wheel the other way.

Igor throws back the three switches.

THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.

Inga and Igor watch Freddy and the platform descend.

When it reaches the floor, Freddy stands soaked to the skin.

ALL EYES ARE ON THE "BODY."

FREDDYNothing!

THEY ALL STARE AT:

THE FROZEN FACE of the "Body."

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Freddy, Inga and Igor sit at a long dining room table, setwith food and wine. Freddy stares into space.

FREDDYReputation. Reputation!

INGAI thought it was wonderful.

FREDDYI don't understand -- I followed thenotes to the letter.

IGORYou can't win 'em all.

FREDDYBut there must be a reason.

This is science, not art.

INGAPass the Wildschweinbraten mitGewurzgurkensosse, please.

52.

Igor looks at Inga, then passes the meat.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

The FROZEN FACE is still frozen. The chest is not breathing.

The arm is motionless.

The FINGERS......... MOVE!

CUT BACK TO:

DINING ROOM

FREDDYLet's look once more. I can't standjust sitting here doing nothing. Maybe we left to soon.

Freddy and Igor set up. Inga goes on eating.

CUT TO:

THE LABORATORY

Freddy and Igor walk into the Laboratory and stand next tothe "Body."

FREDDY (CONT'D)Cold! Cold and dead!

IGORYou mustn't take it so hard.

Bucharest wasn't built in a day.

Freddy leans his head down, in anguish, and rests it on thechest of the "Body."

The "Body's" FINGER pushes against Freddy's behind. Igordoesn't see it.

FREDDY(to Igor)

Don't try to cheer me up that way.

IGORWell, I don't like to see you mope.

Igor stands next to Freddy.

IGOR (CONT'D)You'll be getting me sad next.

53.

FREDDYI'm sorry. I don't mean to take outmy frustration on you. You've beena great help to me, and I've let youdown.

The "Finger" rubs against Igor's behind.

IGOR(looking up suddenly)

I'm not that sort you know. Iappreciate you feelings, but try toshow them some other way.

FREDDY(lifting his head)

You're right! Self-pity never gotanyone anywhere. Let's go back andfinish our dinner.

They leave.

The "Finger" OPENS AND CLOSES ITS HAND.

CUT TO:

DINING ROOM

Inga, Igor and Freddy are eating dessert.

IGORWhat is this?

FREDDYSchwartzwalder Kirschtorte.

Seeping in from the laboratory, we HEAR: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!"

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to Igor)

Oh, do you like it? I'm not partialto desserts, but this is excellent.

IGORWho are you talking to?

FREDDYTo you! You just made a 'yummy'sound, so I thought you liked thedessert.

IGORI didn't make a 'yummy' sound -- Ijust asked what it was.

FREDDYBut you did -- I just heard it.

54.

IGORIt wasn't me.

Freddy looks at Inga.

INGAIt wasn't me.

FREDDYLook here - if it wasn't you, andit wasn't you, and it wasn't me...

Their eyeballs meet in the center of the room. then theyall tear downstairs to the Laboratory.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

They burst into the room. What we may at last call THEMONSTER is straining, tentatively, against the straps acrosshis chest and thighs. his head is raised.

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNmmmmmmmm?!?

FREDDYIt's alive!

INGAOh, Doctor!

IGORI think you've done it, master.

FREDDYAlive! Look at it. I have defeateddeath!

IGORBetter not get too close, master. This guy could kill you.

FREDDYI suppose you're right. Inga!

Prepare a sedative, just in case.

Inga goes to a medicine case and prepares a hypodermic.

The Monster raises its head and makes little circles withits hands, asking to be "free."

FREDDY (CONT'D)It's trying to talk. it wants us totake off the straps.

55.

IGORDon't fall for that one.

FREDDYBut don't you see...the brain ofHans Delbruck is inside this grotesquehulk -- pleading with us. I've gotto untie it.

IGORcareful, master -- you never cantell with these chaps.

FREDDYAll right...stand back!

Freddy carefully walks up to the Monster and stands overhim. The monster is silent, feeling his way.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Hello there.

MONSTERMMMMMmmmmmmm.

FREDDYHow's everything?

MONSTER(just a suggestion of"not so good")

MMMmmmmmmmm.

FREDDYI'm going to untie you -- can youunderstand that?

MONSTER(a soft, "crying"

SOUND)MMMmmmm! MMMmmmm!

FREDDYYes, I'm going to set you free.

(to Inga)Is the sedative ready?

INGAYes, Doctor.

Freddy takes the strap across the Monster's thighs and untiesit. Then he unties the strap across its chest... and stepsback. ALL EYES ARE ON THE MONSTER. TINGLY MUSIC. TheMonster looks at them all for a moment while he is stilllying down. A slightly sly grin comes to his mouth. Herises...slowly, carefully, to a sitting position.

56.

MONSTER(a low, suspiciousgroan)

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm.

FREDDYIt's alive. It's -- moving! It's --breathing! It's -- standing! Whatis your name?

MONSTER(thinking for a moment)

... It's.

IGOROriginal.

FREDDY(holding out his hands)

Give -- me -- your -- hand!

The Monster slowly extends his hands to Freddy. Freddy takesthem and leads the Monster into his first steps.

PRODUCTION NUMBER - "ALIVE"

... in which Freddy, the Monster and Igor do a SONG and DANCEthat teaches the Monster how to move. Occasionally, Ingaand an unseen FIFTY-PIECE ORCHESTRA join in. The Monstertries, in his own special way, to imitate the gentle, "SoftShoe" examples of Freddy and Igor. But where they "Ping"and "Clink" ... he "PONGS" and "CLONGS."

ANOTHER ANGLE

After a big finish, the Monster beams ecstatically. he bowsout of instinct: "Show Business" is in his blood.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Whew! I'm glad that's over with.

IGORYou can say that again.

FREDDYYes.

IGORYou're just supposed to repeat whatyou said.

FREDDYWhy?

IGORWhat's the point of my setup?

(MORE)

57.

IGOR (CONT'D)It's not funny unless you repeatexactly what you said.

FREDDYI'm not trying to be funny.

Igor looks at the Movie Audience.

IGORRepeat it anyway -- it's a wonderfulcue.

FREDDY... I'm glad that's...

IGORNo, no! That whole thing!

FREDDY... Whew! I'm glad that's over with.

MONSTERMMMMmmmmmmmmm!

They all look at the Monster.

IGORSee what I mean?

Freddy gives Igor a dirty look.

MONSTER(signifying "More!")

MMMmmm! MMMmmm!

INGAI think 'It' wants to do it againDoctor.

FREDDYIt looks that way.

INGAWhat do you think we should do?

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

FREDDYOh...let's do it a little more.

ANOTHER ANGLE

They all SING and DANCE a short encore of "ALIVE." TheMonster gets violently carried away in his search for danceperfection.

58.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Freddy, Igor and Inga drop from exhaustion after another,even bigger ORCHESTRAL finish. The Monster immediately asksfor:

MONSTERMMMmmm!

They all stare at him in horror.

MONSTER (CONT'D)(signifying "More")

MMMMmmmmm! MMMMmmmmm!

Freddy walks boldly up to the Monster.

FREDDYStop that! Now just stop that thisinstant and listen to me!

The Monster stares at Freddy in fascination.

FREDDY (CONT'D)I have given you one of the finestminds of this century. You are abrilliant endocrinologist. You area superb scientist. And you aremaking naughty! Now that's enough. Finished! From now on, you willbehave like a man, and not a spoiled,snot-nosed, sniveling brat who thinkshe can get anything he wants bybullying people with sheer bruteforce.

The Monster gives Freddy a W H A C K you wouldn't believeunless you were there. Inga SCREAMS.

IGORThis fellow's got great timing.

The Monster picks Freddy up in his two hands and then holdshim high over his head.

INGAOh, Doctor -- be careful!

The Monster is about to dash Freddy to pieces, when:

MUSIC: A VIOLIN is HEARD PLAYING the EERIE TRANSYLVANIANLULLABY. The monster FREEZES -- still holding Freddy overhis head.

MONSTER(soft, pathetic cries)

Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm!

59.

INGADoctor! There's that strange musicagain. what could it be?

IGORIt seem to have stopped the big fellowin his tracks.

FREDDY(from over theMonster's head)

Ayegor! Find out where that musicis coming from as quietly and asblindingly fast as you can.

IGORYes, Master!

FREDDYAct casual!

Igor casually takes out a box of jujubees from his pocketand eats one. He walks over to the Monster, who is stillholding Freddy over his head.

IGOR(to the Monster)

Care for a jujubee?

The Monster lowers one hand -- holding Freddy up with theother -- and takes the box of jujubees. He sniffs them.

FREDDYClever ploy!

The Monster drains the box of jujubees in one gulp, thenhands the empty box back to Igor.

IGOR(looking at the emptybox)

NO movies together for us -- that'sfor sure.

Igor MOVES OFF in search of the MUSIC. The Monster -- deeplyaffected by the LULLABY -- slowly sets Freddy down.

INGAIt's almost as if he were afraid. he loves that music.

The Monster begins to hug Freddy and snuggle him. he behaveslike a frightened, loving child, as he holds his arms out toFreddy.

60.

INGA (CONT'D)I think he wants you to carry him,Doctor.

Freddy nods agreement.

INGA (CONT'D)What are you going to do?

FREDDYI think I'll...carry him.

Freddy prepares to lift the Monster. Suddenly: THE MUSICSTOPS! The Monster's eyeballs float menacingly towardsFreddy.

MONSTERMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

INGADoctor! The music has stopped.

The Monster's hands creep around Freddy's neck.

FREDDYDo you think you can sing it?

INGAMe? Sing?

FREDDYYes -- quickly, dear!

The Monster is really choking Freddy now.

INGAI'd be so nervous.

FREDDYThis is not the finals -- just sing!

INGA(singing)

It's some-thing dar-ing, 'The Con-ti-nen-tal,' A way of danc-ing that'sreal-ly ul-tra new; It's ver-y sub-tle, 'The Con-ti-nen-tal.'

The Monster is temporarily distracted. then he gives Ingaan angry look. The is not the music that he wants.

INGA (CONT'D)(singing)

Be-cause it does what you want it todo.

61.

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

The Monster's hands tighten around Freddy's neck.

INGA(singing)

It has a pas-sion, 'The Con-ti nen-tal...'

FREDDYStop -- singing!!!

Igor WALKS IN, holding a violin and bow. He sees the Monsterchoking Freddy.

IGORHow's it going?

FREDDYWhat did you find out?

IGORSomeone was playing this in the musicroom.

FREDDYWhere is he?

IGORHow do you know it was a 'he'?

FREDDYAll right -- where is she?

IGORHow do you know it was a 'she'?

FREDDY(gasping his lastbreath)

Bring -- me -- the -- violin!

IGORCan you play it?

FREDDYMaybe...if you get here on time.

Igor goes to Freddy and hands him the violin and bow.

Freddy plays the TRANSYLVANIA LULLABY to the best of hisability. The Monster's hands begin to loosen.

INGAIt's working! Oh, Doctor --

62.

you play beautifully.

IGORDo you know the theme from 'DoctorZhivago'?

FREDDYGet the sedative ready!

MONSTER(soft and loving)

MMmmm! MMmmm!

The Monster hugs Freddy's face. Freddy, still playing theviolin, pats the operating table for the Monster to "liedown." He does -- holding onto Freddy's face.

INGAI think he wants to be tucked in.

FREDDYGet a blanket from under that shelf!

Inga gets the blanket. The Monster holds Freddy's head ontohis chest, as Freddy continues playing. Inga and Igor spreadthe blanket over the operating table, then gently tuck theMonster in "bed." The Monster pulls Freddy into bed withhim and snuggles against Freddy's shoulder. Freddy continuesplaying the violin under the covers.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to Inga)

All right -- give it to him!

INGAAre you serious??

FREDDYGive him the sedative!

INGAOh! Yes, Doctor.

She prepares the hypodermic, then lifts up a small sectionof the blanket -- AWAY FROM OUR VIEW -- and pulls down theMonster's pants a short way.

IGORHe's got quite a tush.

She puts the needle in.

FREDDYDid you do it?

INGAI think so.

63.

FREDDYGood! It shouldn't take more than afew seconds.

Freddy gradually stops playing.

MONSTER(quietly, angry)

MMMMmmmmmmmm!

Freddy starts playing. The Monster kisses him.

INGAI'm getting tired.

IGORWhy don't we all turn in? It's beena long day.

FREDDYWait -- I'm sure he's out by now. That shot was strong enough to stopa horse.

Freddy gradually stops playing. One of the Monster's handssleepily closes around Freddy's throat.

IGORSee you at breakfast, then!

Freddy continues playing.

INGAGood night, Doctor.

FREDDY(afraid to disturbthe monster)

Good night!

IGOR AND INGA LEAVE

NEW ANGLE

Freddy is left alone with the Monster, still playing theviolin.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(sarcastically)

Thanks...for all your help.

IGOR(o.s., from behind awall)

That's what we're paid for.

64.

Freddy looks at the Monster -- whose contented face nestlesagainst Freddy's chin.

FREDDY(as he plays the violin)

This song. This haunting melody.This ancient, quaintly atonal folktune...is driving -- me -- crackers! I can't go on -- do you understand?? Can NOT go on playing thispathogenically rotten song. If you'renot asleep yet, then kill me if youhave to, but at the count of three...Istop! One!................Incidentally, I was thinking of makinga big breakfast tomorrow -- blueberrywaffles and crisp bacon. Two!......................... By theway, I'm sorry I yelled at you before --I must have been over-tired. Anyway,I meant to apologize and just forgot. Two!...............Maybe tomorrowwould be a good day just to relax --go for a swim, maybe do a littlewater skiing. Well...we'll see afterwe finish a nice breakfast. Three!

Freddy stops playing. The monster is sound asleep.

Freddy puts the violin down, throws off the blanket, thenties the straps that bind the Monster to the operating table.

FREDDY(when the Monster isfirmly tied)

Spoiled Sissy!

Freddy picks up the violin again and stares at it.

FREDDY (CONT'D)The song is over!

He looks at the sleeping Monster.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Das lied ist aus!

He breaks the violin in half. Immediately, he feels a senseof relief and lightheadedness.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Oh! Oh my! What a strange feelingthat was. My head -- I felt such apressure, splitting my head apart. I feel so relieved and lightheaded.

(MORE)

65.

FREDDY (CONT'D)That horrible pressure...likevoices...all calling to me, imploringme...swearing at me. Well, it'sover now, thank goodness.

(he turns to theMonster)

Oh...my poor Doctor Delbruck.(he strokes theMonster's head)

Doctor, Doctor...what have I done toyou? Was habe ich von Dir gamacht? Your magnificent brain, locked inthis...pile of... Forgive me, Doctor. I thought -- for science only. Icouldn't stand the thought to mankind. I was a fool! How dangerous is theacquirement of knowledge, and howmuch happier is that man who believeshis native town to be the world,than he who aspires to become greaterthan his nature will allow. Con youever forgive me?

He puts his head down in silent prayer. MUSIC: ANOTHERVIOLIN PLAYS: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY. Freddy'sbody tenses. We cannot see his face, but his fingers go tohis temples. He slowly raises his head.

FREDDY (CONT'D)That's a knockout tune! That tuneis a winner. You can't call it 'wishy-washy' ... like some people I know. That song is going places.

(he looks at theMonster)

And so are we -- Blubber Boy. Withyour body, and the brain of thatkraut -- we'll be 'Number One' in notime.

The MUSIC is PLAYING LOUDER and FASTER.

FREDDY (CONT'D)Right, voices?? I hear you skippingaway in there. 'Do better than yourfather!' You're telling me I will. 'Do better than my grandfather!?' I'll make my famous grandfather looklike a part-time nurse.

He rises.

FREDDY (CONT'D)There's no stopping now. Destiny istoo potent. I -- want -- perfection!

66.

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

FREDDY (CONT'D)I want a lot of it...and the bestthere is.

He grabs the Monster's head and hits it. A CRACK OF THUNDER!

FREDDY (CONT'D)Because from now on...

CUT TO:

INT. PRIVATE LIBRARY

Frau Blucher is insanely playing the violin and watchingFreddy through a crack in the door.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. LABORATORY

FREDDY...the only act we follow is thecreation of fire. I'm going toexplore unknown powers...I'm goingto unfold to the world the deepestmysteries of creation...and I'm goingto make -- my -- mommy -- proud!

FADE OUT

FADE IN

MONTAGE - INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY

Mirrors and a warmup bar run along three walls.

Throughout the Montage, the Monster is dressed in leotardsand lederhosen.

INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

The Monster is at the warmup bar, doing ballet exercises tothe MUSIC OF CHOPIN -- which is being PLAYED on the PIANO byIgor.

Inga -- also in leotards -- is at the bar in front of theMonster, so that he may follow her example.

Freddy sits on a chair in the middle of the floor, poundingout the "count" with a long stick.

FREDDYAnd one and two and three and fourand lift -- lift , three and four

(MORE)

67.

FREDDY (CONT'D)and don't look sad for sympathy; youknow we only stop to pee. And lift --lift, three and four and try and notto break the floor.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

Freddy and Inga are wearing different clothes -- to denotechange of time.

Inga only watches this time, as the Monster tries a few"points" and "turns" across the room on his own.

Igor plays Chopin.

FREDDY (CONT'D)And one and two and point your toesand two and two and stretch you thighsand three and two and lift your kneesand watch that nasty temper, please.

The Monster is getting angry.

FREDDY (CONT'D)And one and two and point your toes...

Igor stops playing the piano, but continues speaking withthe "count."

IGORAnd Oh-oh, Oh-oh...there he goes.

The Monster's hands are around Freddy's neck.

FREDDYAnd oopy, not so hasty, please, andstretch your legs and lift your knees.

The monster, involuntarily, continues his footwork while heis trying to choke Freddy.

Freddy picks up a violin from under his chair and plays theEERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY -- BUT IN THE SAME RHYTHM THEYHAVE BEEN USING, so that not a "count" is missed.

FREDDY (CONT'D)And even though we're nose to nose,Always, always point your toes! Don't knot your fists like monstersdo, but light-ly, gently, pas dedeux. A grateful boy who has a chancewould never kill if he could dance.

(MORE)

68.

FREDDY (CONT'D)So take your fingers off my throatand two -- remove them from my chestand three and two, continue please;I didn't say 'It's time to rest.' Don't stand flat footed; point yourtoes! Don't hang your hands likesome dumb clod; Always lift themgracefully, like little chil-drenpraying to God. That's the way anangel grows but first he learns toPOINT his TOES!

Igor continues playing Chopin. The Monster goes back to hisexercises.

FREDDY (CONT'D)And one and two and stretch yourthighs and two and two and lift yourknees...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

The angelic face of the Monster sits in perfect concentration,as he prepares to play the harp.

He lightly ripples the strings: his face lights up!

He ripples the strings a second time: he is in ecstasy.

On the third ripple: ALL THE STRINGS COME OUT in his hands,like a mass of spaghetti.

Freddy, Igor, and Inga try not to look at each other.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHEARSAL ROOM

MUSIC: a phonograph RECORD PLAYS TCHAIKOVSKY.

The Monster is dancing "reasonably" well with A YOUNGBALLERINA.

Freddy, Igor and Inga watch with great expectation.

The Monster lifts the Ballerina up, and sets her down.

He lifts her up, and sets her down.

Now he takes her hand, prepares for the "big Twirl," liftsher up, and twirls her through the air.

69.

The Young Ballerina sails out of the open window.

CUT TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY

An ELDERLY COUPLE are driving their horse and wagon to town.

A YOUNG BALLERINA SAILS PAST THEIR EYES.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CONVERTED BALLET REHERSAL ROOM

Freddy and the Monster stand over two enormous xylophones.

Each holds his two wooden hammers.

Freddy -- at his xylophone -- passionately laces into RimskyKorsokov's "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLE BEE."

The Monster strokes -- in perfect time -- the LAST NOTE ofeach phrase.

The crowning glory is a slow bridge of SEVEN PERFECT NOTESBY THE MONSTER.

When the piece is finished, Freddy, the Monster, Igor andInga all hug each other in triumph.

TRIUMPHAL MUSIC.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT

A POSTER READS:

BUCHAREST STATE THEATRE TONIGHT ONLY DR. F. FRONKONSTEEN IN"THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE" PRESENTED IN COOPERATIONWITH T N S (TRANSYLVANIAN NEUROLOGICAL SOCIETY)

A "SOLD OUT" sticker is pasted across the poster.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The audience is filled with ELDERLY SCIENTISTS, their WIVES,and THE CURIOUS from the upper crust in society.

All are elegantly dressed in cheap movie studio wardrobe.

INGA

in a formal, and Igor -- in "something" -- wait excitedly.

70.

FREDDY

stands on a stage, dressed in tails.

FREDDYAnd now, my fellow scientists andneurosurgeon...I must ask you to...suspend belief. For up untilnow, you have seen the Creatureperform the simple mechanics of motoractivity. That this Creature was aninanimate blob, which I endowed withthe secret of life -- yes!...in allhonesty -- that showed some measureof skill on my part. But for whatyou are about to see next...we mustenter -- quietly -- into the realmof genius. I say this modestly,only because I am, myself, as in aweof the gifts I possess as if I wereobserving them in some other person. I think of them, only, as a loan. Grateful, of course...that my creditis good. Thus, with the accumulatedknowledge of Chemistry, Electricity,Neuro- surgery...and art...I nowpresent what was once an inarticulatemass of lifeless tissues. Ladiesand gentlemen... Mesdames etMessieurs... Damen und Herren...TheCreature!

Freddy sits down at a beautiful grand piano. He plays ashort trill up the keyboard.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as A SPOTLIGHT hits the darkness next to him.

And there -- IN TOP HAT AND TAILS -- stands the Monster. heis heavily made up.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(playing the pianoand singing)

If you're blue and you don't knowwhere to go to, why don't you...

The Monster accompanies the music with short, simple "SoftShoe" steps.

FREDDY (CONT'D)...go where fashionsits.........................

MONSTERPoo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

71.

FREDDYDiff'rent types who wear a day coat,pants with stripes and cutaway coat,perfect fits.........................

MONSTERPoo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

FREDDYDressed up like a million dollartrouper Trying hard to look likeGary Cooper.

MONSTERSoo -- pah doo -- per.

The Audience's faces are absolutely blank. Inga and Igorare thrilled.

FREDDYCome let's mix where Rock-e -- fellerswalk with sticks or 'um-ber- el-las'in their mitts.........

MONSTERPoo -- tmmm anngh ma Ritz!

The Monster gets a tomato right in the face. He stops cold.

FREDDYDressed up like a million dollartrouper Trying hard to look likeGary Coo -- per.

An EMBARRASSING PAUSE.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(to the Monster)

That's your cue. Go on!

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm.

FREDDY(trying to cover)

...Su-per du-per. Come let's mixwhere Rock-E-fellers walk with sticksor 'um-ber-el-las' in theirmitts...........

The Monster knows it's his cue: he just looks at Freddy.

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm!

72.

FREDDYFor God's sake -- go on! Are youtrying to make me look like a fool.Sing, you amateur! Sing!!

The Monster gets a raw egg in his face.

AUDIENCEBooooo! Get him off! Fake! Whatelse can your toy do?

FREDDYFake?? You stupid idiots...you callmy creation a fake??? What do youknow about truth? You're the fakes! All of you! I wouldn't come to youwith a hang-nail.

The monster gets another tomato in his face.

MONSTERMMMMMMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMM!

FREDDY(running to him)

Wait! Stop! Don't give them thesatisfaction. I know it's tough,but look at how far we've come! Areyou going to throw it all away now??

The Monster thinks, as the tomato drips down his face.

He is touched by Freddy's reasoning, but still burning withresentment.

MONSTERMMMmmmmmm.

FREDDYDon't you think I know that? Butwhat are you judging by? Bucharest??? This was always a hick town. Theycan't get a 'Bus and Truck' companyto come in here. Are you going tolet these idiots get the best ofyou? ...Or are you going to standup like a man and show them thatyou've got more dignity in your littlefinger than they've got in all theirbeer-bloated bodies put together?

The Monster considers this plea for a moment. Then givesFreddy a colossal W H A C K and jumps into the Audience.

THE AUDIENCE

screams and scatters for the exits.

73.

PANDEMONIUM.

FREDDY (CONT'D)(as he picks himselfup off the stagefloor)

I chose the wrong song.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

PEOPLE run in all directions.

The monster comes bursting down the street, with his armsflailing.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CASTLE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Freddy sits dejectedly -- still dressed in his theatreclothes.

Igor and Inga sit near him. Frau Blucher stands nearby.

FREDDYI'm a failure.

IGORCome on, Froderick -- none of that.

INGALook how far we've come.

IGORYou can't expect to iron out all thekinks in one night.

INGAI think the doctor is a genius! Don't you, Igor?

IGORWhy certainly. Don't you, FrauBlucher?

FRAU BLUCHERHe's a failure.

Freddy gives her a cold stare.

FREDDYWhat are you waiting around for,pickle puss?

74.

FRAU BLUCHER(handling him a cable)

This wire came while you were gone. Your fiancee will be arriving anymoment.

FREDDYElizabeth!?!

(he reads the cable)'Can't waits any longer. Arrive inyour arms at ten tonight.' Oh, God! Not tonight.

INGAWhy, doctor...how wonderful for you.

FREDDYWonderful? It's terrible! Terrible,terrible, terrible, terrible,terrible!

Freddy storms out of the room.

IGORShe sounds fascinating.

CUT TO:

EXT. COBBLESTONED ALLEY - NIGHT

A SIX-YEAR-OLD GIRL walks innocently along the narrow,menacing alley, lit only by moonlight.

Behind her, there slowly appears a growing, TWENTY-FOURSHADOW.

When the shadow is almost upon her, the Girl turns aroundand faces her pursuer.

It is her BABY BROTHER, holing a long balloon in each hand.

SIX-YEAR-OLD-GIRL(grabbing him)

Mit kommen, mit kommen. Du bistimmer eine schlafmutzigem Blind-schleiche.

She gives him a slap on the behind and pulls him along.

CUT TO:

A GRANDFATHER CLOCK

It is ten o'clock. GONG.

75.

INT. RECEPTION HALL

The front door opens and Elizabeth comes in. Frau Blucherand a COACHMAN can be SEEN in the b.g.

Freddy stands in dressing gown and ascot. Inga and Igorwait politely in the rear.

ELIZABETHDarling!

FREDDYDarling!

They embrace.

ELIZABETHSurprised?

FREDDYSurprised!

ELIZABETHLove me?

FREDDYLove you! ...Well, why don't we turnin?

ELIZABETHDarling!?!

FREDDYI mean, it's been a long day. I'msure you must be as tired as I am. Oh! These are my assistants: Ingaand Ayegor.

Freddy turns to get some luggage from the Coachman.

ELIZABETH(stepping up to Inga)

How do you do?

INGAVery well. So nice to meet you atlast.

Elizabeth steps up to Igor.

IGORDarling!

ELIZABETHHello...?

76.

IGORSurprised?

ELIZABETHWell... yes.

IGORMiss me?

ELIZABETHI...

Freddy approaches them with Elizabeth's two suitcases:

One very large, and one very small.

FREDDYReady, darling?

ELIZABETHYes. I am a bit tired, after all.

FREDDY(to Igor)

Give me a hand with these, will you,Ayegor?

IGORCertainly, master.

Igor takes the small suitcase, and, with Inga, leads Elizabethand Freddy up the stairs. Freddy struggles with the largesuitcase. Frau Blucher follows behind.

ON THE STAIRWAY

ELIZABETHWhat a strange fellow.

FREDDYYes, he's a little bit... tilted. Harmless, though.

ELIZABETHWhy does he call you 'master'?

Freddy stares at her.

FREDDYAre you suggesting I call himmaster???

ELIZABETHNo, of course not. I just meant...

77.

FREDDYAll right then!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ELEGANT RESTAURANT - NIGHT

The Monster walks in cautiously. No one seems to take anyparticular notice of him.

He walks up to the MAITRE D' and taps his back.

MAITRE D'Yes, sir, name, please?

MONSTERFood!

MAITRE D'Do you have a reservation?

MONSTERFood!!

MAITRE D'I'm sorry, sir. We only seat byreservation.

MONSTERDrink!

MAITRE D'Oh, no sir-ee. If yo don't have areservation you can skip to ma-loo.

The Monster grabs the Maitre D' by the lapels

MONSTERFoooooood!

MAITRE D'Now just one moment. There's noneed for roughhousing. Have youever tried a tip?

MONSTERGRRRHMMNNNJKJMMMNN!

MAITRE D'Franz! Help! Lunatic!

NEW ANGLE

As the monster picks up the maitre D' and throws him into acrowd.

78.

The Monster attacks the restaurant. LADIES, GENTLEMEN ANDWAITERS scream.

PANDEMONIUM.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Elizabeth -- in a long, satin robe -- stands over Freddy,who sits staring into a fire.

FREDDYPoor Delbruck! There must be someway to reach him -- to control thatbody.

ELIZABETHDarling, you mustn't worry so.