YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT - TPO Human …

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Presented by:

Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SHRM-SCPTPO Consultant/Training & Development [email protected]

But You CAN Get What You Need!

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

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• Understand Conflict and Negotiation as forms of communication and human interaction - and identify your attitude toward each.

• Identify 3 Actions/Behaviors to Reduce Conflict and move toward a negotiated resolution.

• Define Negotiation – What It Isn’t• Understand the difference between ‘positions’ and

‘interests’ • Identify your preferred approach to negotiation

(4 Major Approaches)

Outcomes for Today


Please take the next 45 seconds and write down the first things that come to your mind for:

• CONFLICT• NEGOTIATION

Let’s Start with US


Let’s Be ClearAbout Conflict

CONFLICT – incompatibility of thoughts, emotions and/or actions within or between individuals where there is a REAL or PERCEIVED interdependence.

• Constructive

• Destructive


Let’s Be ClearAbout Negotiation

NEGOTIATION – The process of interacting with the goal of obtaining an agreement or the result you desire. It is not a game.

• Art and Science

• Complex and Interdisciplinary

• Few Universally Applicable Rules – “more like guidelines”


Let’s Be ClearAbout Negotiation

Please Complete the Personal Conflict

Assessment


Approaches to Resolving Conflict

• TRADITIONAL – “Conflict is BAD – Avoid at all costs”– Avoidance Approach

• HUMAN RELATIONS SCHOOL – “Conflict can be a tool for uncovering views and ideas leading to creativity”– Constructive vs. Destructive Conflict– Resolving Approach

• INTERACTIONIST – “Conflict is inevitable and managing a certain level of it can be helpful”– Diagnose – Postpone – Manage


NegotiationIt’s NOT a GameGet a GRIP – Identify Your Goals and Interests

Gain Aspirations: What tangible outcome are you looking for?

Relationship Goals: Is this a long or short-term relationship? Do you care about the other person?

Individual Goals: Who am I in this conflict? Ego – Self-Esteem – Self-image

Process Goals: How do you want this to proceed?Constructive/destructive or integrative/distributive?


Four Negotiating TemperamentsThe Harmonizer (Pacifier)

• Big picture • Disdain for details • Looking for the broad perspective • Usually persuasive • Struggles with deadlines


Four Negotiating Temperaments

The Controller (Bull) • Has a plan and is impatient for decisions and

resolution • Often convinced of his/her ‘rightness’


Four Negotiating Temperaments

The Pragmatist (Street Fighter)• Focus on details • Approaches problem sequentially • Struggles to accept alternatives or

concessions


Four Negotiating TemperamentsThe Action-Seeker (High Roller)

• Seeks details• Approaches problems sequentially• Likely to take things literally• Excitable


OK, So Now What Do I Do?

1. TAKE ACTION• Problems never solve themselves • All conflicts are part of a system • Systems continue to produce their results

unless changed

2. COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY • Describe the problem• Use “I” statements • Give yourself permission to be in the

conversation


OK, So Now What Do I Do?

3. RECOGNIZE POWER IN THE CONFLICT • Personal Power (your strongest tool)• Reward Power• Position Power• Expertise Power

NOTE: If someone has the power to hurt you (psychologically or physically). DO NOT NEGOTIATE. ASK FOR HELP.

4. CHECK YOUR ASSUMPTIONS• “Everyone’s life walks into the room”, and • “There is no such thing as common sense”


Finally, at the End of the Day You Can…

1. COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY • Describe the problem • Use “I” statements • Give yourself permission to be in the conversation

2. ACCOMMODATE THE CONFLICT • Perhaps you can adjust your thinking, expectations

or behaviors. • Again, be prepared for any feelings of

dissatisfaction, unfairness, etc.


Finally, at the End of the Day You Can…

3. RESOLVE THE CONFLICT • Obviously, the preferred approach from this

workshop • Improved self-esteem and confidence

4. MOVE ON • It may be time to look for another job, relationship,

roommate, or …..


Q & A


Presented by:Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SHRM-SCP

TPO Consultant/Training & Development [email protected]

But you CANGet What You Need!

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

For TPO’s Training Calendar go to: www.tpohr.com

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.tpohr.com/

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YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT - TPO Human …