Yodel Magazine March 2011

www.yodelmagazine.com

Yo.del:(verb) \\to yodel\\the official means ofcommunicating bythe inhabitants ofmountainous regions\\

\\morzine\\march 2011\\ \\pick up your yodel\\FREE\\

there's something about morzine

resort events

morzine shopping guide

location, location, location

diary of a beginner skier

3

to the second issue of

Yodel Magazine. We were

thrilled with the response

our community magazine

had in February - so we've expanded it already. Your March Yodel is now 4

pages thicker! We wanted to get people communicating and Yodelling all around

our lovely town so thank you for all your feedback. For this issue we had the

pleasure of interviewing professional skier Julian Ball. Despite his reluctance to

ski with us (we can't imagine why...!), Julian was charming, dedicated and gives

a great new perspective on Morzine. We've also dipped our toes into the world

of Morzine property this month and in doing so found our dream home (about 20

times over). Huge thanks to Carrie at Pastures Greener for showing us the way.

So here is your second Yodel. In April we'll wave au revoir to the winter and look

forward to another beautiful summer in the mountains.

There's something about Morzine................................................................5\\Professional skier Julian Ball tells us why he loves Morzine

Morzine shopping guide ................................................................................6\\We rate the best shops in Morzine for different shopping experiences

Location, Location, Location .........................................................................8\\How to fi nd your dream home in Morzine

What's on? ...................................................................................................10 \\Events in and around Morzine during March

Dairy of a learner skier .................................................................................12\\A rather funny account of a fi rst ski holiday

Day in the life of ............................................................................................14\\Morzine Chalet Girl Anna Sharp and her thought on the new "Chalet Girl" movie

Tartifl ette .......................................................................................................15\\All you need to know about your favourite mountain meal

BassCamp Apres Party.................................................................................16\\What's that all about?

One-Piece of the Month ...............................................................................17\\Another excellent example of mountain fashion

Other than skiing ..........................................................................................17\\Five alternative mountain activities

Ask Uncle Bert ..............................................................................................18\\He's the authority on your mountain problems

Cover image © Jack Terry 2011 - www.jackterry.co.uk

contact us\\ [email protected] [email protected]

yodel online\\ You can read every copy of Yodel from the comfort of your sofa or offi ce chair in the UK too! www.yodelmagazine.com.

Headline Text Obis delenihicia doles re eatiae ipsam endandendit la si dicaborem quam hicium quae volori quo molessum none re aliquia ant licipienda cum endis estor sum et offic temporibus.

Julian Ball

tel: 06 10 40 10 92email: [email protected]: www.lost-intranslation.com

French lessons- Group Lessons

- Private Lessons

- Intensive Courses

Translation ServicesIf you are a French registered business or are employed on a French contract, then you could be eligible for training budgets to cover the cost of lessons.

Image © Jack Terry 2011www.jackterry.co.uk

5

“There’s something about Morzine as it’s so different from other ski resorts but at the same time it caters for everyone. I’ve lived in Val D’Isere and Whistler, in New Zealand and Argentina but Morzine is very different. As a professional skier I rely on the generosity of my sponsors to be able to live and train in the mountains each winter and to enter competitions too. I can afford a better quality of life in Morzine than in other resorts and I really like the huge ski area too.

Lots of people ask how I became a professional sponsored skier and the truth is, it kind of came about by accident. I was part of a university sports team when I was 22 and I entered a dry ski slope competition in Edinburgh. Liberty Skis were there and they asked me to join their professional ski team. Since then skiing has become my full time job. I have 9 sponsors now including Planks clothing, Marker bindings and Ellis Brigham and I help to promote and represent their brands at big competitions like the Verbier Ride in January where I came 3rd in the Big Air competition and the Austrian Open at the end of February. Being based in Morzine means I can get to all the other resorts really easily.

I sometimes get frustrated that I spent 8 years of my life snowboarding. I was an instructor in Whistler and I still jump on my snowboard now and then. If only I’d realised that my skills lie on two planks of wood instead of one. Skiing has become much cooler

recently and I think that’s because of the freestyle revolution. We make up our own tricks and the people in my sport are very progressive and ambitious. My favourite trick at the moment is a cork 720 Japan and nose grab (AKA grabbing the nose of your left ski with your right hand at the same time as grabbing the back end of your right ski with your left hand and spinning in the air. Twice.)

I spend my summers training in Sass Fee or in New Zealand and then some time in the UK as a tennis coach. Eventually I’d like to get into ski coaching, maybe with the GB Olympic team but the first thing I tell a person when they ask me how to ski is to get proper instruction. When I’m too old for skiing I’d like my own cocktail bar I think. In a ski resort obviously. In lots of interviews I’ve named my favourite resort as Val D’Isere and I think that this is probably still true because so much happens there every day and every night. But as a professional skier I have to balance the fun and distractions of a holiday resort with my fitness levels – doing what I do with a hangover is beyond dangerous. Morzine caters for everything and while I live here I find that I can stay focused on my skiing. I’ve broken both of my ankles, my shoulder, all my fingers and both of my thumbs and I know how much injuries set me back.

I ski every single day of the winter season and it is never a chore. I love the satellite off-piste run in Avoriaz and the park in Chatel. Morzine and the rest of the Portes du Soleil have so many different areas I never really get bored. At the end of a good day I treat myself to a beer and a burger at Changabang in Avoriaz. At the end of a bad day I just go home and hope to be better the next day.”

Julian Ball, 26, is a professional skier from Tunbridge Wells and is using Morzine as his training base this winter.

There's something about

Morzine

Images © Jack Terry 2011 - www.jackterry.co.uk

6

SouvenirsLa Capitale Route de la Combe a Zore(near the Office de Tourisme)

This well stocked shop is bursting with souvenirs from French knives, to postcards, vintage Morzine posters and memorabilia. There are some great gift ideas with a large range of beautiful soaps and a huge collection of novelty T-shirts. Look out for their characterful resident dog, a regular in the shop.

Snowboardingattack attackRue du Bourg

Easily identifiable by their cute dinosaur logo, attack attack stocks a large range of snowboarding hardware, outerwear and streetwear too.They also stock their own range of t-shirts. An attack attack t-shirt is the ultimate must-have reminder of a trip to Morzine.

Local ProduceL'PelioRoute de la Combe a Zore(centre of town)

L'Pelio is literally bursting with local delicacies, boasting an impressive display of saussicon as well as jams, honey and cheeses.They stock a wide selection of Savoie wines and liqueurs too. There are also some fun novelty products; look out for fir tree and edelweiss shaped pasta and the chocolate truffles decorated with skiiers, cows and marmottes - a great Alpine gift.

Free SkiingSki Park PowPlace de Baraty(opposite the Office de Tourisme)

This free skiing shop is new to Morzine and stocks a welcome range of goods specific to free skiing. As well as specialist gear and clothing, they also have some great gift ideas including Baw Bags boxers, skiing DVDs, wallets, sunglasses and beanies. Most definitely worth making a trip to when you're in the centre of town.

Morzine Shopping GuideMorzine is a great shopping town with lots of variety. Here is yodel's opinion on the best shops in town.Next month...our favouriteplaces to drink.

7

Local SecretGalerie et Atelier – 04 50 70 00 79(towards the Chemin du Mas-Metout)

Hidden away but on the bus route, this gallery is a real treat. A haven of arts and crafts by local artists, the Galerie provides a range of wonderful gifts that don't just represent the usual souvenirs found in Morzine. Jewellery, photos, paintings, prints, cards, textiles and kids clothes are available to view.Open from 2 - 6pm on a Thursday afternoon, catch it while you can or arrange for it to open by appointment, contact:[email protected]

attack attack

Galerie et Atelier

HOUSE FINE WINE Gold medal award winning red Minervois in stock now!

We also have available a lovely Viognier White wine and a

great Rose to suit all.

All at €2,50 HT, available for delivery,

with minimum order of 24 bottles.

Contact Jean-Michel on 0646518205, [email protected] or at Mammas.

• all food cooked fresh to order• eat in or take away• phone orders taken for collection• licensed premises with beer, wine and sodas available when dining in or to take away• The only place in town offering English, Italian and Asian style cuisine, catering for even the fussiest of eaters.• Traditional English style fish and chips • Homemade thin and crispy gourmet pizzas• Freshly cooked pasta and noodles• Wraps, Salads and daily specials• Mammas "Kebab Wrap"• Mammas "Mega Burger" • Mammas "Major Fish Special"

“Mammas, the original and the best, beware of imitations"www.mammas.fr

find us on

Opening Hours 4pm - 10pmPhone Orders

Welcome04 50 74 31 62

Rue Du BourgMorzine

Guide

8

I do fi nd it hard to walk past the window of the local estate agents while I’m on holiday. I always wonder about what kind of property I could afford to turn the holiday dream into a reality.

How many of us actually think about making the change? Buying property in the Alps is a real luxury and many people in Morzine have already found their dream home. But how much is it really likely to cost you? Are Morzine property prices on the rise or the decline? How do property prices compare to other resorts?

For many the search will begin on the internet. Google ‘properties for sale Morzine’ and at least 10 local estate agents pop up. If your budget is less than €200,000 you quickly realise, your choice is limited. But €400,000 could easily buy you a 3 / 4 bedroom chalet in one of the outlying villages. A family sized apartment in central Morzine on the other hand, would have an asking price of more than half a million euros.

Owner of Morzine estate agent Pastures Greener (www.pasturesgreener.net), Carrie Smith has seen property prices in the area fall over the last two years but believes they have now reached a plateau. “Although some of the fall in prices can be attributed to the global economic crisis, the biggest factor was the weakening of the pound against the euro”

says Carrie. Many of her property buyers, who come to her mainly through word of mouth and from the internet, found that their carefully saved and invested nest egg was worth considerably less when they came to buy. This didn’t stop buyers though – “a property in the Alps still appreciates more than savings in a UK bank after all!”.

The property market in Morzine has picked up in the last year and it is a common misconception that property prices are determined by snow conditions. “Across the Alps, as soon as we have a winter with less than perfect snow fall, doom seekers predict a 50% decrease in property prices” says Carrie. Fortunately in Morzine, a resort that doesn’t just rely on the ski industry, the impact of seasonal snowfall is inconsequential. Morzine has a thriving summer population too and restaurants, bars and shops that stay open all year round.

Brits own a huge amount of property in Morzine, typically as second home investments and for holiday rentals. However there are a lot of British people who move here lock, stock and barrel. “Occasionally clients come to me with the misconception that they can drive a really hard bargain and buy their dream home at a knock down price” says Carrie. As the majority of properties for sale in Morzine at any one time are second homes, sellers are less likely to accept a vastly reduced price for a quick sale.

This doesn’t mean that there aren’t any bargains out there however. New properties become available all the time and many are full of Alpine charm and Savoyarde character. They could be your perfect mountain home if you’re

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willing to put time, effort and refurbishment investment into them. “Many of my clients are keen to do renovation work on a property” says Carrie. Making new friends and fi nding help to develop a property in Morzine is probably easier than in the more rural parts of France. “There is a good support system amongst all of the people who have chosen life here in Morzine. People are amazingly open to making new friends and passing on tips and information. The settling in period is often much easier than my clients imagine” explains Carrie.

So, once you have the cash and you’ve found your dream home, how easy is it to buy in the Alps? The main difference is that you do not need to appoint a solicitor to manage the sale, although Carrie does recommend taking some legal representation as all legal documents are in French. The process is more straightforward and well regulated than in the UK but buyers should be aware that a sale becomes legally binding far earlier in the process. For Brits buying in the Alps, this means you can visit, view and buy your dream property in just one trip. The other key difference is that estate agency fees are included in sale prices – the use of an estate agent such as Pastures Greener for example, is free of charge to homebuyers, with the exception of the standard notary fees. Using an agent also means that someone with local knowledge is always available to smooth the process and offer advice.

So next time you walk past the estate agents windows in Morzine, think carefully about making the holiday dream into an Alpine reality!

10

5.00pm ‘Thunder Road’ blues & rock band Rhodos5.00pm ‘Cab Collective’ acoustic covers band Cavern6.00pm ESF torch lit descent of the Pleney Pleney6.00pm Live music ‘Generation Duo’ Bar Tabac, Montriond12.00pm Freestylers & Urban Knights L’Opera

9.00am Tour of the cheese dairy Route de la Plagne9.00am Local market Place de la Poste4.00pm BassCamp DJ Apres Party Le Tremplin8.00pm All you can eat curry Sherpa10.00pm ‘Toss the Boss’ for a free round Rhodos

4.30pm ‘Deja Groove Acoustic’ pop & soul band Tibetan Café5.00pm Live music by ‘Eugene Carton’ Rhodos5.00pm Large wooden games Office de Tourisme8.00pm Night skiing on the Pleney Pleney

4.30pm ‘Deja Groove’ pop & soul band L’Etale

12.00noon Live sport Dixie Bar

12.00noon Sunday roast Rhodos12.00noon Live sport Dixie Bar4.00pm ‘Deja Groove’ modern pop & soul band Le Tremplin

4.00pm Welcome to Morzine drinks Office de Tourisme4.30pm Acoustic pop and rock with ‘Dan Baxter’ Tibetan Café7.00pm Curry night Numero Dix

5.00pm ‘Deja Groove’ modern pop & soul band Rhodos5.00pm ‘Cab Collective’ acoustic covers band Cavern5.30pm Piste Feast food tasting Cavern6.00pm ESF torch lit descent of the Pleney Pleney6.00pm Live music ‘La Crise’ Bar Tabac, Montriond10.00pm BassCamp DJ Set Coyote Bar


10.30am X Speed Ski Tour La Combe Piste, Nyon4.30pm ‘Deja Groove Acoustic’ pop & soul band Tibetan Café5.00pm Live music by ‘Replay’ Rhodos5.00pm Large wooden games Office de Tourisme8.00pm Night skiing on the Pleney Pleney



12.00noon Sunday roast Rhodos12.00noon Live sport Dixie Bar


5.00pm ‘Thunder Road’ blues and rock band Rhodos5.00pm ‘Cab Collective’ acoustic covers band Cavern5.30pm Piste Feast food tasting Coyote Bar6.00pm ESF torch lit descent of the Pleney Pleney6.00pm Live music ‘Soft Wind’ Bar Tabac, Montriond10.00pm *Funkadelique Funkin Farewell Tour* Café Chaud10.00pm BassCamp DJ Set Coyote Bar

Tues 1st Mar

Wed 2nd Mar

Thurs 3rd Mar

Fri 4th Mar

Sat 5th Mar

Sun 6th Mar

Mon 7th Mar

Tues 8th Mar

Wed 9th Mar

Thurs 10th Mar

Fri 11th Mar

Sat 12th Mar

Sun 13th Mar

Mon 14th Mar

Tues 15th Mar

Event listings\\March 2011\\

11

Wed 16th Mar

Thurs 17th Mar

Fri 18th Mar

Sat 19th Mar

Sun 20th Mar

Mon 21st Mar

Tues 22nd Mar

Wed 23rd Mar

Thurs 24th Mar

Fri 25th Mar

Sat 26th Mar

Sun 27th Mar

Mon 28th Mar

Tues 29th Mar

Wed 30th Mar

Thurs 31st Mar


4.30pm ‘Deja Groove Acoustic’ pop & soul band Tibetan Café5.00pm Large wooden games Office de Tourisme5.00pm Live music by ‘Eugine Carton’ Rhodos7.00pm St Patrick's Day Celebrations Dixie8.00pm Night skiing on the Pleney Pleney





5.00pm ‘Deja Groove’ modern pop & soul band Rhodos5.00pm ‘Cab Collective’ acoustic covers band Cavern6.00pm ESF torch lit descent of the Pleney Pleney6.00pm Live music Bob dit L’ane Bar Tabac, Montriond10.00pm BassCamp DJ Set Coyote Bar

9.00am Tour of the cheese dairy Route de la Plagne9.00am Local market Place de la Poste10.30am Triple Denim Day Fancy Dress Party Super Morzine Bubble4.00pm BassCamp DJ Apres Party Le Tremplin8.00pm All you can eat curry Sherpa10.00pm ‘Toss the Boss’ for a free round Rhodos

4.30pm ‘Deja Groove Acoustic’ pop & soul band Tibetan Café5.00pm Large wooden games Office de Tourisme8.00pm Night skiing on the Pleney Pleney





5.00pm ‘Thunder Road' blues and rock band Rhodos5.00pm ‘Cab Collective’ acoustic covers band Cavern6.00pm ESF torch lit descent of the Pleney Pleney6.00pm Live music ‘Eugine Carton’ Bar Tabac, Montriond10.00pm BassCamp DJ Set Coyote Bar


4.30pm ‘Deja Groove Acoustic’ pop & soul band Tibetan Café5.00pm Live music by ‘Eugene Carton’ Rhodos5.00pm Large wooden games Office de Tourisme8.00pm Night skiing on the Pleney Pleney

12

I never thought that I would find myself hurtling at breakneck speed, splitting through freezing cold, snow wisped air in a second and making it to the bottom in one piece. Okay, maybe my stomach wrenched, and maybe I left it at the top of the piste, but I still made it. Sadly for me, I only experienced that feeling once. That's right, on my first ski trip, I only managed a near-perfect run on that one occasion. Every other however, left a little knot of despair in the very pit of my stomach at how unbelievably appalling a human being could be at one of the world's most popular extreme sports.

I'm not a very athletic person, so when a group of friends suggested a ski trip I must admit, I wasn't too keen - but life's about challenges right?

When we arrived I didn't exactly fit in, shall we say, with the other learners. For a start Bambi on ice wasn't exactly the look I had

planned for myself - I thought I would just be able to swish and swoop my way past my friends and beat them to it. Competitive, maybe. Delusional, definitely.

Day one. In my extreme hyper-activity and excitement at the sight of so much snow, I decided it would be a really clever idea to throw myself down a blue with my younger sister. With no previous experience, and no lessons what-so-ever I have since learned that this was a decision I would soon regret. I reached the top (after much difficulty getting off the chairlift - if I wanted an enormous salopette induced wedgie, I'd have requested one thank you!) and quickly noticed a group of young children, probably about four years old, skiing without any hesitation or difficulty. Not so hard, right? Thinking it would be easy enough to follow suit, I decided now was no time to be afraid, and went for it. In my hasty decision-making I realised one thing - I had no idea how to ski. Or turn even. Oh, how I would have loved to have seen me flying down that run, screaming blue murder and almost crashing into a fence. Classic.

Day two. My first ever skiing lesson. Our instructor, Elmar, discusses with me how to turn, balance my weight, snow plough. Now, as I am sure many other learners out there will appreciate, none of the above actually sunk in once that ice cold mountain air bombed past my cheeks once more. Gathering speed

Diary of

a learner

skier

Article by:Charlotte Neal

if I wanted

an enormous

salopette

induced wedgie

I would have

requested one

thank you

13

I quickly realised that the only way I would ever be able to ski, was if, well, I just did it and learnt by default. What works, what doesn't.And it scared the life out of me.

I felt humiliated as small children skied past me with ease, and I sat on the slope, frustrated, terrified and in floods of tears. There were times when it didn't scare me at all, and I enjoyed the rush of wondering whether or not I could make it to the bottom without tripping over my own skis or falling over, and loving it when it happened. But at other points, I just wanted to be tucked up in bed, nursing my sore feet and bruised legs. I'm sure you probably think I'm mad when I tell you this, but I want to go again. Soon, now? I want to experience that again because I don't think I can say I have ever felt anything that brings me close to how it felt to ski down a mountain. The views were incredible. On a cloudy day, the valley below seemed non-existent, and the sky felt so close.

So yes, skiing for the first time was the ultimate terrifying experience, but all at once the most incredible. I am a convert.

Avoriaz AlpineSki School

Ski tips from Ian McKellar

Avoriaz Alpine Ski School+33 450 38 34 91

www.avoriazalpineskischool.com

[email protected]

Get fit first - cycling strengthens the muscles you'll use when you're skiing and makes the

whole learning process much easier

More water, less booze - your body dehydrates at altitude and you'll become tired

and grumpy if you don't drink enough water

Take it steady and learn at your own pace - you couldn't learn to swim in a day and it's

important that skiing is fun!

Ignore advice from partners who day 'this run is easy, trust me darling!' - only you know

your ability and scary runs will put you off!

If you use special insoles in your walking or running shoes, you will need them in your ski

boots too. Ski boots don't have to be painful!

Oh how I would have loved

to have seen me flying down that

run screaming blue murder and

almost crashing into a fence

I usually get up between 7.30 and 8.00am depending on our guests and whether they would prefer to be up on the mountain early or a bit of a lie-in.

For some reason that often depends on how many bottles of wine they got through the night before. If it's less than 8 people me and Howard choose who has to do the breakfast, we actually don't really argue about who does it because the other one always has to be up half an hour later anyway. We do argue about who gets in the shower first when we're both doing breakfast though - we both find that extra ten minutes in bed so precious!

Every morning I bake the cake for afternoon tea which can be a bit of a fluke some days. I also clean out the fire and rebuild it which I am pretty abysmal at, it's always fun waiting with baited breath to see if it lights in the evening! I hate to say it but building fires may just be a man's job, maybe I should have a word with Howard about doing it in future....Hmmm.

After the guests have left for skiing I clean the chalet and maybe do some laundry before heading up the mountain. The ability to ski almost every day is definitely the best thing about being a chalet host, I usually get up the mountain about four days a week and really appreciate that not everyone out

here can do that. I have to be back to the chalet for around 5.00pm to prep the dinner which is a four course meal with free-flowing wine, which can get interesting with the rowdier guests!

We usually join the guests for a glass of wine after dinner which is always a highlight of the day and then head to bed before starting it all over again in the morning, I never really mind though because I really do love my job.

We ask Anna for her opinion on 'Chalet Girl', the new Hollywood blockbuster set in St Anton featuring Billy Nighy and Ed Westwick. How realistic is the movie?It's a good film but completely unrealistic, I'm pretty sure it's a tad trickier than that to compete in snowboard competitions from being a beginner. I can also imagine it's pretty hard to find a handsome millionaire willing to fall in love with a chalet girl, then again let me know if you do find one....

I hate to say it but building fires may just be a man's job, maybe I should have a word with Howard about doing it in future....Hmmm

Anna Sharp, 22, is working for Cornish Snow this winter as a chalet host while her boyfriend, Howard chefs alongside her.

Day in the life of aChalet Girl

14

15

There's nothing I can imagine more satisfying to come home to after a harddays skiing.

Most people would assume that tartiflette is a traditional mountain dish. In fact it was invented by the Reblochon trade union (yes there really is one!) in the 1980s to boost sales of the cheese.

The tartiflette originated in the valley of Aravis, home of reblochon. Made using typically Savoyarde ingredients; potatoes, cream, bacon lardons and that famous reblochon cheese, this rich and delicious dish can be found in restaurants across Morzine. Popular variations include adding onions and substituting the lardons for smoked salmon. Traditional or not, there's nothing I can imagine more satisfying to come home to after a hard days skiing. Here's one of the better recipes so you can do just that:

- 750g potatoes - 1 onion - 100g bacon lardons - 250g reblochon cheese - 150ml single cream

Preheat the oven to 220C/Gas 7/fan oven 200C. Peel and thickly slice the potatoes, then boil in salted water for 8-10 minutes, until just tender. Drain.

Chop the onion finely and fry in 25g/1oz butter and a drizzle of olive oil for 5 minutes.

Add bacon lardons to the pan; stir well and cook for a further 5 minutes, until the onion and bacon are lightly coloured.

Chop the cheese into chunks, rind and all. Layer half the potatoes in a 1.5 litre / 2¾ pint buttered ovenproof dish and scatter over half the onion, bacon and cheese. Lightly season with salt and pepper.

Repeat layers, then pour cream evenly over the top and bake for 10-12 minutes until golden.

Rest for 5 minutes and then serve with green salad.

All about...Tartiflette

aprés party...

True to their tag line, the Wednesday apres party at Le Tremplin really is what Morzine's been waiting for. Situated at the bottom of the Pleney, there couldn't be a better spot for everyone to chill out, enjoy some well earned drinks and have a bit of a dance to the live DJ. The nights have proved a hit despite being relatively new and the atmosphere has been truly buzzing

each Wednesday with everyone up and dancing the afternoon away. It seems from the night's popularity so far and the positive vibe, that they can only get bigger and better. The music starts at 4pm and finishes at 7pm, just in time to head out for some food. Drinks are good value; €2.50 for a demi and €5 for a pint, so there really is no excuse not to head down there and join the party!

SnowshoeingIf you can walk you can snowshoe. Whether you use snowshoes to circumnavigate the steady flat track around Lac Montriond or to give your calf muscles a workout by climbing uphill, showshoeing is quickly becoming a popular way to explore the winter mountains and forests at a slower pace.Contact: [email protected].

ParapentingAlso known as paragliding, this is a great way to see Morzine from the air. Strong mountain thermals over the valley mean that a tandem parapente flight over Morzine can last for over an hour before you glide in to land on the Pleney. A more extreme version - speed riding - involves landing with your skis on!Contact: [email protected]

...what's that all about?

Five alternativesto skiingand snowboarding

LIVE DJ WEDNESDAY 4-7

17

Bar - Restaurant - Pizzeria

Lunch Menu €15Pizza or Saladof your choice11am - 3pm + Dessert

Dinner Savoyarde meats,specialities and pizzza6pm - 12pm

Le RocherSavoyarde specialties and Take-Away Pizza

Résidence Chéravaux - Chef lieu - MontriondTel: 04 50 75 78 47

Send us images of your favourite onesies to: [email protected] [email protected] and see if they are featured here next month!

I am loving this look Tim. The bold colours are rounded off well with the 'Back to the Future' era sunglasses, which I presume are to protect yourself from your own refl ection. Your in-vogue headband adds not only the cherry on top of this brilliant ensemble but also a well needed touch of local heritage, which is teamed to perfection with the vintage snowboard. The individual cartoons are truly inspired and may also act as a guide for tourists to the available activities in resort. A walking tourist brochure and a style king; this is the stuff dreams are made of.

One-pieceof the Month

Mountain Refuge ExperienceShowshoe through the hills for a few hours to reach an authentic 'Alpage' or mountain refuge. Then enjoy a traditional Savoyarde meal in total isolation before bedding down in a cozy traditional bed.Contact: [email protected]

Night SledgingPerfect under a full moon, night sledging gives you a chance to enjoy long runs with no one else on them! Joining a guided night sledging tour will ensure that you stay on safe slopes and away from the mammoth piste bashers!Contact: [email protected]

Ice DivingAn extreme way to enjoy the winter and not for the faint hearted, ice diving involves entering the water of a frozen lake through a single hole in the surface ice. Diving qualifi cations and the correct equipment are required but watching ice divers emerge from a whole in the ice on Lac Montriond can be just as much fun!Contact [email protected]

Not everyone is in Morzine

to ski. Here are yodel's favourite

alternatives...

18

I haven't been skiing today but I am going to Aprés tonight. Do I put my ski clothes on to go to town or will people suss me out?

Yes! Wear your ski wear - but have a good roll around in the snow (if there is any) before you go out. A little mud would also be authentic, and frizzy hair a must! (I'm assuming that only a girl would write to me about such a problem). And remember those lads love the lasses in their sweaty apres ski outfits so the smellier you are the better..

I'm working as a chalet girl and just cannot get up in time for breakfast. I set three different alarms but they just don't get me up. I think I'll be sacked if I can't sort it out, what should I do?

Firstly, keep off the sleeping tablets - they are never the answer! Secondly, don't bother going to bed at all - you might be very tired but at least you'll keep your job. Proper seasonnaires who party every night use the afternoon to sleep instead of ski.

I am working in Morzine this winter and I really want to finish my season with some goggle marks. Is it ok to sunbathe on my balcony with my ski goggles on, or is that just vain?

I have seen many self tanning salons in Thonon - rather than spend days looking daft on your balcony (if your lucky enough to have one!) - visit the salon in discretion. A weekly visit will ensure deep lasting goggle marks.

My ski boots smell like tartiflette. It's starting to make me and my friends gag. What have I done wrong?!

a Wash your ski socks more than once a season

b Make sure that there isn't actually any Tartiflette in them?

c Don't take your ski boots off at all as a last resort...

I like to wear a one piece skiing suit and have done for years but have started noticing lots of other people wearing them on the slopes. They cheer when I ski past. Are they taking the mickey out of me and if so, do I deserve it?

Yes they are taking the mick. I think it depends on how old the one piece is... it is a known joke on the slopes to see 70-80s one pieces. Prada do a good one piece this season - check out their website!

Every day there is loads of cake leftover in my chalet and I just can't resist it. I am turning into a fatty and finding it hard to ski. What can I do to resist the sugary goodness?

Tell your chef to bake a decent cake - then hopefully there won't be any left for you to scoff on. Try and ski a bit more and the weight should drop.

Ask Uncle Bert

Uncle Burt relishes in your problems (no really, he enjoys your pain) so please send them in, however foolish or minor they may seem, he's sure to have an answer whether you like it or not! Email them to [email protected] and look out for his solution next month.

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Yodel Magazine March 2011