IGCSE

Five Islands School

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Original Writing Scheme of Work

1) Introduction

2) Assessment Objectives

3) Scheme of Work

4) Grading Criteria

5) Examples of Students Graded Work to Aid Assessment

2 Scheme of work for IGCSE KS4 coursework Original writing

1. This scheme has a specific focus on descriptive writing.

2. Skills acquired in this unit of work can also be used to address

the requirements of Writing to Describe which is tested in the English Paper 1 examination - Writing to inform, explain, describe.

3. Skills acquired in this unit of work can also be used to support the teaching of Poetry and the Literature Poetry for Unseen Paper 3

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Original Writing

To explore / imagine / entertain / (no restrictions on content, form, or genre). Assessment objectives for writing (EN3) AO3 Writing (En3) Candidates are required to demonstrate their ability to:

(i) communicate imaginatively, using and adapting forms for different readers and purposes;

(ii) organise ideas into sentences, paragraphs and whole texts

using a variety of linguisitic and structural features;

(iii) use a range of sentence structures effectively with accurate

punctuation and spelling. Assessment Procedure Marks should be awarded within any range in a ‘best fit’ basis. Teachers should follow the procedure set out below:

a) Make a broad judgement using the skill descriptors. b) Initial judgement should then be further refined using the content

criteria.

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Scheme of work ORIGINAL WRITING To learn linguistic devices/poetic devices /imagery SIMILE METAPHOR PERSONIFICATION How these techniques are used in writing and how they can be used as tools to develop personal writing skills.

Use the Powerpoint Fallout 3 Now read the poem The Warm and the Cold by Ted Hughes and complete the task set.

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The Warm and the Cold Freezing dusk is closing Moonlight freezes the shaggy

world Like a slow trap of steel Like a mammoth of ice 0n trees and roads and hills and all The past and the future That can no longer feel. Are the jaws of a steel vice But the carp is in its depth But the cod is in the tide-rip Like a planet in its heaven Like____________________ And the badger in its bedding The deer are on the bare- blown hill Like____________________ Like smiles on a nurse. And the butterfly in its mummy The flies are behind the plaster Like____________________ Like_____________________ And the owl in its feathers Sparrows are in the ivy- clump Like____________________ Like_____________________ Freezing dusk has tightened Such a frost Like ____________________ The flimsy moon On the starry aeroplane Has lost her wits Of the soaring night But the trout is in its hole A star falls. Like a chuckle in a sleeper The hare strays down the highway The sweating farmers Like____________________ Turn in their sleep The snail is dry in the outhouse Like _____________ Like___________________ The owl is pale on the gatepost Like____________________ Ted Hughes In this poem, Ted Hughes describes the onset of a freezing night in a series of sense images. To paint a vivid picture of the way different animals keep warm he uses a number of similes-comparisons where one thing is compared to another using the word ‘like’ or ‘as’ Fit the jumbled comparisons into the right places. Try looking for points of similarity in th4e images, and working out which lines in the poem rhyme to help you. oxen on spits a loaf in the oven a root going deeper a doll in its lace a clock on its tower like a viol in its case a key in a purse the lost score of a jig money in a pig a seed in a sunflower a nut screwed tight

8 Writing task

Think of original and imaginative similes to bring these subjects to life;

The fire raged as fiercely as … The engines in the distance whined like… Their red bulk appeared like… The fire-fighters moved like… The flames…

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SIMILES (from BBC Bitesize) Know the facts

Similes are comparisons. Writers use similes to help you imagine certain images and feelings. Think about your own writing or talking. If you are trying to describe a sight or feeling to a friend that is outside their experience then you often do it by making a comparison with something they do recognise.

When using a simile a writer says that something is like or as something else.

“The skin cracks like a pod, There never is enough water…” “… A black-back gull bent like an iron bar slowly” Both of these are examples of similes and using similes in your own writing adds depth and interest. However it is important to remember that if you are discussing similes in poetry or in other writing it is not enough just to identify the similes. To access higher grades you must comment on how effective it is and the effect it has on the writing. In the first example from the poem “Blessing” the poet is using the simile to emphasize the lack of water. She uses a direct comparison and clear direct language so that the reader can visualise the effect of the lack of water upon the people. The second example from the poem “Wind” enables the reader to imagine the strength of the wind as the bird in flight is gradually pushed back by the sheer force. Writing task Explain the effect of these similes 1) I have seen old ships sail like swans asleep… 2) And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel,

And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school

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To help with revision of techniques and for future reference (descriptive writing is a tested on English Paper 2 exam paper), pupil will :

1) begin work developing a spider diagram

Begin Fallout 3 _ Coursework 11

To learn and understand linguistic devices:- METAPHOR PERSONIFICATION

Descriptive writing

Simile

Definition

Example

Metaphor

Definition

Example

Personification

Definition

Example

How these techniques can be used in writing.

How they can be used as tools to develop personal writing skills.

How they can be used in the analysis and appreciation of poetry. .

12 Metaphor Work through each section on metaphors and personification and complete the suggested activities.

A metaphor is also a device for comparing one subject with another but it is different from a simile because there is no use of like or as. The comparison is very close and therefore a metaphor is a very powerful device.

He was a lion in battle

By using a metaphor what is the writer saying about the way the person fought in the battle? You should be able to think of two or three different characteristics suggested by this metaphor.

Her words were poisonous

What is the effect of the metaphor?

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She looked daggers at him

Notice that comparisons are taking place but as and like are not used. Metaphors are powerful and dramatic devices, they make writing much more lively and interesting.

PERSONIFICATION

These are special types of metaphors. Personification is a technique giving a non-human thing or idea human or animal qualities.

Death was stalking the battlefield

The waves swallowed him Discuss what images or pictures these examples suggest to you. Read the poem WIND and:

Discuss the use of personification.

In addition, you might want to comment on the use of repeating the word I

the use of verbs, especially the list of verbs in the last sentence and the use of ‘and'

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WIND

I pulled a hummingbird out of the sky one day but I let it go, I heard a song and carried it with me on my cotton streamers I dropped it on an ocean and lifted up a wave With my bare hands I made a whole canefield tremble and bend As I ran by I pushed a soft cloud from here to there I hurried a stream along a pebbled path I scooped up a yard of dirt and hurled it in the air, I lifted a straw hat and sent it flying I broke a limb from a guava tree I became a breeze, bored and tired And hovered and hung and rustled and lay Where I could.

Task 1 Write a short paragraph discussing your thoughts and ideas about this poem. Don’t forget:

to mention the use of personification

when you make a point about the poem use evidence/quotation from the poem and then explain how this adds to the meaning of the poem (POINT, EVIDENCE, COMMENT )

Task 2 Using the structure of the poem WIND, make one of the following into a person and describe the actions that ‘person’ performs: FOG FIRE SUNLIGHT FROST HUNGER DESPAIR

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Metaphors (BBC Bitesize)

Know the facts A metaphor is also a form of comparison but does not use like or as. A metaphor shows that something is actually something else. Metaphors are very powerful devices.

“The sea is a hungry dog

Giant and grey, He rolls on the beach all day.”

The poet is asking us to imagine the incoming sea “eating up” the beach like a hungry dog desperately searching for food and then devouring it. Writing task Pick out the simile and metaphor in the following extract. What is the writer asking you to imagine? How effective are these comparisons?

“The road unwinding under our wheels New in the headlamps like a roll of foil.

The rain is a recorder writing tunes In telegraph wires, kerbs and cat’s eyes, Reflections and the lights of little towns”

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Personification (BBC Bitesize)

Know the facts Personification is a special type of metaphor in which the writer gives human qualities and feelings to non-human things. One of the most common examples is how writers treat the seasons of the year. They often see them as human beings in various ages: the youth of Spring, the full grown person in Summer, maturity in Autumn and old age in Winter. When discussing writing it is not enough just to identify personification but to be able to comment on the effect achieved. Look at the opening lines of this poem,’ Miracle on St David’s Day by Gillian Clarke. An afternoon yellow and open-mouthed With daffodils. The sun treads the path Among cedars and enormous oaks.

‘Open-mouthed’ invites the reader to visualise and ‘see’ the daffodils in their imagination; ‘treads’ suggests an image of the sunlight making its way across the ground. The use of personification brings this section of the poem to life. Writing task Identify the use of personification in the following lines of this poem. What scene do they suggest to you? Are they effective in creating a picture of a stormy night? ‘The rain set early in to-night

The sullen wind was soon awake, It tore the elm –tops down for spite,

And did its worst to vex the lake

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Alliteration (BBC BITESIZE) Know the facts Alliteration is the deliberate repetition of consonant sounds at the beginning of words close to each other. The writer may be trying to focus attention on those words or may be using hard or soft sounds to create an effect.

1) The writer James Reeves wrote about walking through “Beech Leaves” with a “crisp and crashing sound”. Here the use of the hard c’s adds to the visual picture of the dried and crunchy autumn leaves.

2) Writing about “Snow in the Suburbs” Thomas Hardy wrote, “there is no waft of wind with the fleecy fall.” The soft w’s and f’s add to the meaning of the poem and give the impression of the soft covering of snow on the ground.

3) Wilfred Owen. a poet writing in World War 1, wrote in one of his poems, “Anthem for Doomed Youth” about “ the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle.” The awkwardness of the repeated r’s reflects the sound of the jerky firing of the guns. (you could also notice that the word “stuttering” with its repeated t’s and number of syllables adds to the fragmented style of the line and therefore to the meaning.

Alliteration is used extensively in both poetry and prose to create the effects mentioned above. Adverts also make use of alliteration. This is usually in an obvious way. It can help us to remember the name of a product. “P-p-p pick up a penguin”

18 Alliteration Writing task

1) Read the extract below, identify the use of alliteration, discuss and write about how this adds to the desolate feeling of this depressing place. (think about the sound of the repeated ‘d’).

From the poem ‘Vultures’) In the greyness and drizzle of one despondent dawn unstirred by harbingers of sunbreak a vulture perching high on broken bone of a dead tree- nestled close to his mate…

2) Write a few lines describing your classroom or your bedroom using alliteration to add to the atmosphere you are trying to create.

think about which aspects of the room you might want to draw attention to and focus on

think about the sound of certain letters and how these might contribute to the mood you want to create.

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Onomatopoeia Know the facts Onomatopoeia is when a word sounds like the noise it is describing. Every day speech is full of common examples: The whoosh of the washing machine The buzzing of the bees The clatter of pots and pans The bubbles popped These are simple and obvious examples, try to think up some of your own. Onomatopoeia can be used very effectively in prose and poetry when the writer is trying to build an impression of sound and add another dimension to the writing, for example: The poet Wilfred Owen in his World War 1 poem ‘ Dulce et Decorum Est’ describes how he could hear the blood come ‘gargling from the froth –corrupted lungs’ of a soldier who had been injured in a gas attack. The word ‘gargling’ suggests the sound perfectly and adds to the horror of the situation. Task 1 Underline the onomatopoeic words in this extract from the poem ‘Tractor’ by Ted Hughes. The writer is trying to emphasize to the reader the difficulty of starting the tractor on a cold winter’s day. The starting lever Cracks its action, like a snapping knuckle. I squirt commercial sure-fire Down the black throat-it just coughs See if you are able to identify any other writing techniques in this extract.

20 Onomatopoeia Task 2 Identify the onomatopoeic words in this extract from the poem ‘Blessing’ by Imtiaz Dharker.

The skin cracks like a pod There never is enough water Imagine the drip of it, the small splash, echo in a tin mug, the voice of a kindly god Sometimes the sudden rush of fortune. The municipal pipe bursts, silver crashes to the ground

How does the use of onomatopoeic words add to the meaning of the poem? Think about what life is like for the people before the pipe bursts. Write a short paragraph explaining your ideas. Remember to use POINT, EVIDENCE, EXPLAIN to support your writing.

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ORIGINAL WRITING

To consolidate knowledge and understanding of writing techniques learned over

the last few lessons.

Tasks

1) To complete and analysis of the piece of writing “An Autumn Stroll”, a

description of a place and discuss the techniques and effects. (an annotated

version is available for teacher use).

2) Read the opening chapter of “Of Mice and Men” and discuss the use of

techniques used to create a calm and peaceful atmosphere. (an annotated

version is available for teacher use)

Writing task (for pupil assessment)

1) Pupil to choose their own place and write a description to create a specific

atmosphere. Pupils should try to use a range of writing techniques (spider

diagram can be used for reference).

Pupil’s writing can be assessed using the assessment criteria. Examples of

pupils work are included in this pack to aid assessment and grading.

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An Autumn Stroll

Strolling along the canal towpath on a crisp autumn morning brought back memories of times it has been done so many times before. The canal is still, clear, a glass only disturbed by the ducks gliding through the water effortlessly. Small ripples emerge from the ducks, spreading, getting bigger and bigger before breaking on the banks. The leaves are a rich oak colour, crisp with frost. They look like they have been sprinkled with a light dusting of icing sugar. The autumn sun catches the odd leaf so that it sparkles like diamonds. The leaves crunch underfoot covering the whole path. The trees are bare. Only the odd leaf is left hanging on branches patiently waiting to join the rest. A smell lingers in the air, a mixture of slowly decaying vegetation and the crisp clean air of the autumn morning. Under the bridge I walk. A train clatters overhead, drowning out all other noise, then slowly fades into the distance, leaving everything as it was ,as if it had never even been there. A robin stands proud on a fence post like a cockerel crowing to the morning sun. His red chest blazing is only cooled by the white surround slowly blending into oak brown feathers. An insect in his beak caught on the wing. A quick wing adjustment and he bursts into flight. He weaves and bobs, weaves and bobs in the sky gracefully and elegantly. On the road above and across two old men, also on a morning walk, wearing their demob suits, worked hard for and not thrown out, old winter coats, shoes bought by a love done last Christmas, flat caps and shiny, polished, well-used walking sticks. They are talking about the days events, “How’s the missus then Alf?” “Oh fine.” They carry on round the corner. The postman struggles with his bag and walks up the steps to a row of little houses with fields behind and neat well-kept little gardens at the front. A cat in the field below them walks around looking for a meal. He seems oblivious to the fact that the field is autumn colours and he is all over white. He walks along the length of the field then sits at the foot of the wall staring up at the prospect of having to jump over. He sits for a while and then leaps. He clears it easily like a coiled spring, lands on all four paws and steadies himself like a gymnast. Then he walks across the other field and out of my field of sight. A crisp autumn stroll with lots going on if you look and observe.

22(a)

An Autumn Stroll (1) Strolling along the canal towpath on a (2) crisp autumn morning brought back memories of times it has been done so many times before. The canal is (3)still, clear, (4)a glass only disturbed by the ducks gliding through the water (5) effortlessly. Small ripples emerge from the ducks, spreading, getting (6) bigger, bigger (7)before breaking on the banks. The leaves are a (8) rich oak colour, (9)crisp with frost. (10)They look like they have been sprinkled with a light dusting of icing sugar. The autumn sun catches the odd leaf so that (11) it sparkles like diamonds. The leaves (12) crunch underfoot covering the whole path. (13) The trees are bare. (14)Only the odd leaf is left hanging on branches patiently waiting to join the rest. A smell lingers in the air, a mixture of slowly decaying vegetation and the (15) crisp clean air of the autumn morning. Under the bridge I walk. A train (16) clatters overhead, (17)drowning out all other noise, then slowly fades into the distance, leaving everything as it was ,as if it had never even been there. A robin stands proud on a fence post (18) like a cockerel crowing to the morning sun. His red chest (19) blazing is only cooled by the white surround slowly blending into oak brown feathers. An insect in his beak caught on the wing. A quick wing adjustment and he (20) bursts into flight. He (21) weaves and bobs, weaves and bobs in the sky (22) gracefully and elegantly. On the road above and across two old men, also on a morning walk, wearing their demob suits, worked hard for and not thrown out, old winter coats, shoes bought by a love done last Christmas, flat caps and (23) shiny, polished, well-used walking sticks. They are talking about the days events, (24) “How’s the missus then Alf?” “Oh fine.” They carry on round the corner. The postman struggles with his bag and walks up the steps to a row of little houses with fields behind and neat well-kept little gardens at the front. A cat in the field below them walks around looking for a meal. He seems oblivious to the fact that the field is autumn colours and he is all over white. He walks along the length of the field then sits at the foot of the wall staring up at the prospect of having to jump over. He sits for a while and then leaps. He clears it easily (25) like a coiled spring, lands on all four paws and steadies himself like a gymnast. Then he walks across the other field and out of my field of sight. A crisp autumn stroll with lots going on if you look and observe

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NOTES TO ACCOMPANY “AN AUTUMN STROLL”

1) Choice of vocabulary: sets the relaxed tone and mood of the piece. Also it is a

more interesting opening to introduce the writing.

2) Onomatopoeia: adds depth to the writing enabling the reader to “hear” the sounds

along the canal bank.

3) Use of adjectives: helps to create a visual picture in the mind of the reader.

4) Metaphor: creates an image emphasising that the canal is perfectly still adding to

the calm and peaceful atmosphere of the place.

5) Adverb: adds detail and also contributes to the relaxed atmosphere.

6) Repetition: helps the reader visualise the concentric circles of the ripples and

understand that there has been a change in situation. The writer is beginning

to move the description on and add further detail

7) Alliteration: adds to the rhythm of the sentence which contributes to

meaning as this adds to the flow and ripple of water.

8) Adjectives: create visual detail and add realism to the writing.

9) Onomatopoeia: creates sound and adds another dimension to the text.

10) Simile: comparing the sparkling leaves with the icing sugar. Adds to the visual

image, suggests early autumn and the beginning of a delicate frost.

11) Simile: visual image

12) Onomatopoeia: creates sound and adds life and interest to the writing.

13) Short sentence: direct, clear moves the writing on, alters the pace of the

piece.

14) Personification: adds depth and interest to the writing.

15) Alliteration: adds to the sharp sound and reinforces the coldness of the day.

16) Onomatopoeia: lively, realistic, interesting.

17) Use of punctuation: slows the line and adds to the meaning of the sentence.

18) Simile: visual image.

19) Metaphor: powerful visual image

20) Onomatopoeia; gives energy and adds realism

21) Repetition: adds to visual image and emphasises the graceful movement of the

birds flight, creates rhythm in the line again emphasising the movement of

the bird.

22) Use of close detail: adds to visual image.

23) Group of three adjectives: adds visual detail, three adjectives powerful,

create close visual image.

24) Snippet of conversation: adds interest to the writing and sense of realism.

25) Simile: adds to visual detail and creates interest, emphasises the movement

of the cat.

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Original writing To understand how to use the descriptive writing techniques effectively and create : An interesting and detailed description of a place.

1) Read the extract from ‘An Evil Cradling’.

Discuss the content of the piece, choice of vocabulary, writing techniques and ideas.

Writing task Write a detailed description of a place you know well, using a range of descriptive writing techniques. Aim to write about two sides of A4 Discuss with your teacher how to improve this piece of work and then redraft.

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Task 2 An extract from ‘Of Mice and Men’

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Task 1

Descriptions come alive if you use lots of adjectives. Write down the adjectives

that are used to describe:

The window

The dictionary

The thread

The can of tar

The possessions

The harness

The magazines

The spectacles

Task 3

Think about an elderly woman who rarely sees her family. What possessions do

you think you might nfind in her room? Make a alist of them. Decide what each

possession tells you about her.

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Extract from ‘An Evil Cradling by Brian Keenan

Brian Keenan was a lecturer in a university in Beirut. On his way to work one

morning in 1985 he was kidnapped. It was four and a half years before he was

released. In the following extract he describes his prison cell.

‘I had of course, like all of us, seen prison cells. We have all seen films about

prisoners, or read books about prison life. Some of the greatest stories of

escape and imprisonment are part of our history. It seems much of our culture is

laden with these stories.

But when I think back to that cell, I know that nothing I had seen before could

compare with that most dismal of places. I will describe it briefly to you, that

you may see it for yourself.

It was built very shoddily of rough-cut concrete blocks haphazardly put together

and joined by crude slapdash cement-work. Inside, and only on the inside, the

walls were plastered over with that same dull grey cement.

There was no paint. There was no colour, just the constant monotony of rough

grey concrete. The cell was six feet long and four feet wide. I could stand up and

touch those walls with my outstretched hands and walk those six feet in no more

than four paces. On the floor was a foam mattress. With the mattress laid out I

had a pacing stage of little more than a foot’s width.

In one corner there was a bottle of water which I replenished daily when I went

to the toilet, and in another corner was a bottle for urine, which I took with me

to empty. There was also a plastic cup in which I kept a much abused and

neglected toothbrush. On the mattress was an old, ragged, filthy cover. It had

originally been a curtain. There was one blanket which I never used, due to the

heat, the filth and the heavy smell, stale and almost putrid, of the last person

who had slept here. The cell had no windows. A sheet steel door was padlocked

every day, sounding like a thump on the head to remind me where I was. At the

head of the mattress I kept my brief case with my school text books. Behind the

briefcase I hid my shoes. I was forever afraid that I would lose those shoes. If

I did, I felt that it would be a sure sign that I would never leave that cell.

31 Original writing To understand how to use the descriptive writing techniques effectively and create: An interesting, detailed description of a person 1) Read the description of Mrs Dubois from ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. Discuss the range of techniques used. 2) Read the description of ‘My Grandmother’ and analyse the text in terms of technique, content, tone and atmosphere. Task Write a detailed description of the fallout after you have survived a nuclear explorsion. You may choose to write a general description and then focus on specific details. You might want to focus on a particular incident which shows the personality of your character. You may decide to use flashback or flashforward. Aim to write about one side of A4 and remember to improve and redraft your writing.

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An extract from ‘ To Kill a Mockingbird ‘

When writing to describe, you are trying to paint a picture with words. Your aim

is to give your reader a clear picture of the person, place or scene that you are

describing.

One of the best ways to improve your skills in descriptive writing is to look at

descriptions written by other writers and identify the features that make them

effective.

Description of Mrs Dubois

She was horrible. Her face was the colour of a dirty pillow case, and corners of

her mouth glistened with wet, which inched like a glacier down the deep grooves

enclosing her chin.Old-age liver spots dotted her cheeks, and her pale eyes had

black pinpoint pupils. Her hands wre knobbly, and the cuticles were grown up

over her fingernails. Her bottom plate was not in, and her upper lip protruded;

from time to time she would draw her nether lip to her upper plate and carry her

chin with it. This made the wet move even faster.

I didn’t look any more than I had to. Jem reopened Ivanhoe and began reading. I

tried to keep up with him, but he read too fast. When Jem came to a word he

didn’t know, he skipped it, but Mrs Dubose would catch him and make him spell it

out. Jem read for perhaps twenty minutes, during which time I looked at the

soot-stained mantelpiece, out the window, anywhere to keep from looking at her.

As he read along, I noticed that Mrs Dubose’s corrections grew fewer and

farther between, that Jem had even left one sentence dangling in mid-air. She

was not listening.

I looked towards the bed.

Something had happened to her. She lay on her back, with the quilts up to her

chin. Only her head and shoulders were visible. Her head moved slowly from side

to side. From time to time she would open her mouth wide, and I could see her

tongue undulate faintly. Cords of saliva would collect on her lips; she would draw

them in, and then open her mouth again.

Her mouth seemed to have a private existence of its own.

It worked separate and apart from the rest of her, out and in, like a clam hole at

low tide. Occasionally it would say,’Pt,’ like some viscous substance coming to the

boil.

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Descriptive writing

My Grandmother

My grandmother was probably one of the most important people in my life. She

was made more special by the fact that she was my only living grandparent. She

was my gran on my mum’s side. My father’s family were all Polish Jews and had all

been killed in the holocaust.

My gran lived in Weymouth which was a long way away from where we lived. Every

summer I would be wrapped up like Paddington Bear, a label stuck on my jacket

and off I would go on my holidays. The guard, there were such things then, was

responsible for me and would pass over the duly delivered parcel to my gran at

the other end.

My gran lived in a red brick council house; 200 Abbotsbury Road. I loved that

house and even now I am dying to knock on the door and state proudly:’ my gran

lived here!’ Daft, isn’t it? Maybe when I am old I will do it. My gran used to say

you can get away with a lot when you are old!

The house like my gran was old and everything in it spoke out of another age. She

had been born in 1896. She had long hair which she wore coiled in a bun and she

always wore the same style frocks with a little trim of lace around the v-neck

and a cameo brooch. All her dresses were hand-made on an old sewing machine

that for many years after her death remained in the garage gathering dust. I

remember her most striking piece of furniture was a huge table that filled her

back parlour. At night we would sit at the table and listen to the Archers on the

radio.

We would eat Edam cheese and home-made bread with lashings of her home-

made raspberry jam, just the two of us. I was all of seven and I don’t think I had

a clue what or who the Archers were but it felt good to sit there like a grown-up.

Gran was a fine cook and had once worked in a country house. My job every night

was to go to the pantry to get the jam. I can still smell her pantry now, full of all

sorts of jams, chutneys and preserves.

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Her bathroom was Victorian almost and the window was quite low down. I would

brush my teeth and look down from it from the back garden where my gran was

often pottering or sitting on a garden swing chair she had. Sometimes she would

look up instinctively and wave. I can see her now bending over a small spade and

brushing a strand of her long coiled hair that had escaped away from her face.

I can’t remember it raining when I was a child in Weymouth and when it did rain

it would happen late at night so that in the morning you would wake to smell

sweet, damp grass. At night though, the pervading smell rose from gran’s garden

fire, a rich, evocative smell which still haunts me to this day, along with the

picture I have of her tending it and adding twigs.

It is hard to say what it was about my gran that made her so special. We spent

days together on my uncle’s farm where she helped out, we went to the beach,

we ate ice-cream, we played slot machines, we fed the swans.

When I went home she came too, but only for a while. Once a month a huge

parcel would arrive with a letter inside for me and home-made goodies for all the

family. In it was the scent of her home-baking, her home and of course her.

When she died at the age of 79 a chapter of my life came to an end. She used to

say to me, what will remain of us is love, and I have to say she spoke true.

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ORIGINAL WRITING SCHEME OF WORK

To learn how to craft writing to build an atmosphere of fear and tension.

1) Read the extract from ‘Lord of the Flies’

Analyse the extract, identifying techniques learned from previous lessons

and identify and understand the use of any new writing techniques, for

example:

a) The effect of long sentences

b) The use and effect of short sentences

c) The use of questions

d) The use of repetition

e) Use of punctuation

(There is an annotated copy of this extract for teachers use)

2) To consolidate knowledge pupils should read the extract from,’ To Kill a

Mockingbird’ and analyse the text in note form and then answer in

continuous prose,

How does the writer use language to create an atmosphere of tension and

fear?

( Pupils should remember to use the PEE technique in their answer)

Point

Evidence

Explain

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Original Writing Coursework

Notes to accompany extract from ‘Lord of the Flies’

Ralph is being pursued by a gang of boys ,when they catch him they

intend to kill him ,cut off his head and place it on a stick as an

offering to the ‘Lord of the Flies’ In an attempt to force him out of

hiding they have set fire to the island on which they are marooned.

1. A direct statement to clearly establish that the fire is

dangerous. This is enhanced by the reference to noise implying

that the sound is continuous and building in strength and power.

2. This question emphasizes the speed of the fire

3. The use of the simile suggests panic

4. Once again the writer is emphasizing the size and strength of

the fire.

5. Use of an abrupt, short sentence to stress panic.

6. Punctuation used to fragment the sentence and the use of a

question to emphasize fear and panic.

7. The writer is clearly stating that the fire is gaining in strength

and danger

8. The stress in the sentence falls on the last word which

reinforces the ferocity of the fire.

9. Use of repetition and exclamation marks show the fear, tension

and panic.

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10. Series of short, sharp sentences shows real panic and fear.

11. Emphasis once again focusing on the fire getting closer.

12. The boys chasing Ralph are now referred to as savages. This

emphasizes that the danger is serious.

13. The writer is now very specific when describing the proximity of

the ‘savages’.

14. The closeness of the ‘savages’ is emphasized throughout this

section.

15. A series of sound words are used to reflect the tense and

frightening situation.

16. The writer is once again very specific to show the closeness of

the ‘savage’.

17. Abrupt, fragmented phrases to show fear.

18. The moment the ‘savage’ is seen is emphasized by the extremely

short sentence and paragraph.

19. To delay the moment of discovery and to build tension in the

reader, the writer uses two longer sentences.

20. A list of violent vocabulary to emphasize the real fear as Ralph

tries to escape.

21. A long paragraph describing in detail Ralph flight for his life,

including many words to describe his speed.

22. Alliteration used to focus on the speed of movement and Ralph’s

fear.

23. Use of the simile to focus the reader’s attention on the terrible

danger that awaits Ralph.

Extract from ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ ‘‘bird’ 1.

2.

3.

4.

6.

5.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

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Original Writing Coursework

Jem and Scout have been to a harvest festival celebration in school,

Scout is dressed in a ‘ham’ costume. As they walk the short distance

home alone, they become aware that they are being followed.

Notes to accompany Extract from ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’

1. The opening phrase of this extract establishes that the two children are

alone.

2. The adjective ‘black’ emphasizes the intense darkness of the night and

adds to the feeling of isolation for the children

3. The phrase emphasizes that the two children are surrounded by intense

darkness.

4. This snippet of information once again emphasizes the complete blackness

of the night( The writer has used a form of repetition to establish that

the children are walking home alone on an extremely dark night)

5. Use of ellipses here to denote a pause creates a feeling of uncertainty.

6. The additional detail suggests that Jem is nervous, this creates tension.

7. Once again the writer is reminding the reader that the children are

walking home alone on a very dark night.

8. The use of short, fragmented sentences creates tension and illustrates

the anxiety of the children.

9. The interruption in the exchange between the children suggests anxiety

and nervous tension.

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10. Use of abrupt, short sentences adds to the tension created.

11. The simple, straightforward, direct sentence adds to the suspense, clearly

establishing that the children are being followed.

12. The writer is establishing that the children can clearly be seen in the

darkness adding to their sense of vulnerability.

13. The writer is using a form of repetition to emphasize that the children

can easily be seen by whoever is following them.

14. The phrase emphasizes that the place is completely empty and this is

enhanced further by the echo.

15. The tension in the children has developed as the writer shows that they

are afraid to speak out and can only whisper. This also suggests that the

intruder is close-by. Also the writer increases the tension as she

establishes that Scout is confined in the ‘ham’ (they are on their way back

from the harvest festival concert at school.)

16. The tension is building as the wrier states that the children are getting

closer and closer to safety, they are almost home.

17. Tension is increased as the children are making an effort to be calm even

though it is now obvious that it is not their friend who is following them.

However, neither of them dare voice their fears.

18. The excuses the children make to themselves are immediately dispelled by

the writer.

19. The use of onomatopoeia suggests that the follower is very close to the

children and adds to the realism.

20. The use of the short sentence adds to the tension created.

21. The dramatic outburst, use of repetition, punctuation, adds to the tension

and creates fear.

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22. The list of sounds/actions creates a sense of confusion.

23. The simile draws the readers’ attention to the helpless children, that they

are no match for their pursuer and that they are trapped.

24. The use of repetition adds to the realism of the situation and emphasizes

the violence of the attack.

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ORIGINAL WRITING

To consolidate knowledge of writing techniques used to create an atmosphere of

fear and tension.

1) Read and discuss the creative assignment ‘Being Followed’ written by a year

11 student in 45 minutes, under exam conditions.

Plan

Setting; very cold, dark; occasional street lights, ground covered with

snow, faint snow blizzard

Been to friend’s house

Dilemma- can’t decide whether to take short cut or not

Keep remembering father’s words’ It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s other

people’

Imagine you are being followed

Another two footsteps and I’d be back in the shadow again. I could scarcely

see the next street light but I knew I had to reach it. I could feel the damp

snow on the back of my neck as it turned into water and trickled down my

back. The words came back as if to haunt me- ‘it’s not you I don’t trust it’s

other people’. My footsteps quickened. I knew I was being followed.

I couldn’t hear the snow fall yet watched it glimmer in the light. It

seemed to be working against me and I felt each flake as a short stab

stinging my face. I passed the familiar vicarage and yet it was no longer

recognisable. The small gap in the wall immediately transformed from my

childhood safe haven to a threatening hole. I remembered the words ‘it’s

other people’. I knew I was being followed.

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The distant street lamp beckoned yet it became no closer. I instinctively

tried to quicken my pace but my feet refused to change from their

mechanical stride. I could hear the faint sound of a radio accompanied by

the hum of a car engine. It passed me; the driver completely oblivious to

my panic. I could feel the dampness on my hands as I fumbled for the key

inside my pocket. I already knew it was there but I had to check again. I

daren’t look back. I knew the footsteps were following me.

I tried to focus my mind on the party. It had been worth it, hadn’t it? My

head still pounded with the music but I could no longer make out the song

I was thinking of. I tried to remember. I had to remember. I couldn’t

allow my mind to accept the reality of the situation.

The snow had turned to slush and I became aware of the tiny hole in my

shoe. I could feel the damp rising through my sock. I had to do something.

I turned quickly onto the narrow path through the woods and ran. The

trees passed me in a blur. They scratched my face and tormented my mind.

They seemed to stoop toward me. I thrust away the branches with my

fists. I felt my knees ready to buckle yet I knew I had to make it. The

panic surged in my head and drowned the thumping of the music. I

remembered the words ‘ it’s not you I don’t trust, it’s other people.’

The key fumbled in the lock and fell to the floor. I glanced round. I had

been followed, I could see that. I remembered the words of my father.

He was wrong, it wasn’t only other people he couldn’t trust. It was me.

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Original Writing To assist with grading of Original Writing coursework a number of examples of students graded work and the grade criteria are included in this Scheme of Work

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Original writing final task

To write a creative/descriptive coursework assignment using a range of descriptive writing techniques Suggested assignments could be :

1) Description of a place linked to a description of being followed. This would allow pupils to use both the range of descriptive writing techniques and devices which create tension and fear.

2) Being lost in a foreign city.

3) Surviving a nuclear fallout/explosion

.