Writng to inform, explain and describe

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Writing to inform, explain and describe

In Section B of Paper Two you will be asked to write in order to inform,

explain or describe. The writing might be linked to a theme or idea from

the Poetry from Different Cultures, but this is not always the case. This

Revision Bite will help you learn the difference between informing,

explaining and describing.

A scenario

Imagine this scenario:

You feel ill and go to see a doctor.

Which of the following is informing, explaining or describing?

At the doctors

• Describing - you are telling the doctor how you feel.

• Informing - the doctor gives you the facts.

• Explaining - the doctor explains what a cold is and tells you a little bit more

about it.

These areas do tend to overlap, but you should keep in mind that:

• Information is factual.

• Explanation is factual, but with more detail.

• Description is usually about how something makes you feel.


Informing

To inform means to give facts to another person.

When informing, you should:

• Use straightforward language to convey essential information, e.g. what is

involved in this job.

• Give the readers a bit more information, e.g. what is interesting about the job

and what you enjoy about it.

• Remember you are giving information. Imagine that someone asked about

your job because they are thinking they might like a similar one.

Question:

Write informatively about a job you have now, you have had in the past, or are

interested in.

Explaining

To explain means to make clear, show the meaning or to account for.

When explaining, you should remember:

• Who you are writing to. This question does not give you a specific audience

so you must assume you are writing for anyone who might be interested, eg

parents and children.

• Why you are writing to them, eg "being fair is a good quality in a carer

because...".

Question:

Being a parent or guardian is never easy. Explain what you think makes a good

parent or guardian.


Describing

To describe is to give a description of what something or someone is like.

When describing, you should:

• Remember that your thoughts and feelings are important in this sort of

writing, e.g. how does this place make you feel and why?

• Try and think about using the sorts of devices you have seen in poetry and

literature, e.g. metaphor, simile, imagery etc.

Question:

Places can seem different at different times of the day. Choose a place you know

well and describe it at two different times of the day.

metaphor: A description of one thing in terms of another – implicitly comparing the

two, but without using ‘as’ or ‘like’. ‘Sea of troubles’ and ‘drowning in debt’ are

metaphors. Something that represents another thing.

Similie: An explicit comparison of one thing to another, using the words ‘like’ or

‘as’. ‘Sleeping like a log’ and ‘bright as a button’ are similes.

Try a question

Here’s a question that tests all the skills described in this section:

Question:

Write a letter from the headteacher of your school to parents of Year 11 students,

informing them about a planned trip, explaining why the trip will be useful and

describing the activities that will take place.


Possible answer

Have a look at the following letter written in response to the exam question

Answer:

Newtown High School

Newlands Road

NEWTOWN

Barsetshire

NN1 1NN

12 October 2005

Dear Parents

We are having a trip to Newtown Outdoor Pursuits Centre on 10 December

for all Year 11 students. We shall leave at about 9 o'clock and will be back

during the evening.

At the Centre, students will be able to do whatever they want, eg rock

climbing, orienteering, abseiling and canoeing. They will need a packed

lunch but no special clothes.

We think they will have fun there, and the cost will be £10 each which you

should send in to school as soon as you can.

Please let me know if your child does not want to go.

Yours sincerely

M Jones

Headteacher

Now that you know the kind of skills needed to make a letter inform, explain and

describe, think about how this answer can be improved.

The following page shows information from an Examiner explaining how the student

might improve their work to enable them to access higher grades.


Examiner’s verdict

The examiner's verdict demonstrates how the student could have answered the

question better.

These are some of the faults in the original letter, with suggestions about how you

could improve it.

1. A title to the letter would be helpful, so that readers know what to expect and

what information to look for.

2. The information given is too vague, e.g. parents need to know the exact

times and places of departure and arrival.

3. It's also helpful to state the day as well as the date of the trip, and to give

more details of special arrangements, e.g. about safety, what will happen if

the return is delayed, etc.

4. The description of what takes place at the Centre is too brief, e.g. there is no

information about supervision of the students, or what specific clothing is

needed for the activities.

5. The explanation of why the trip is taking place is vague and is also mixed up

with information about the cost.

6. Information about paying is vague, e.g. who should the money be sent to?

Should it be cash or a cheque?

7. There is no explanation about what will be done with students who don't go

on the trip, or what will happen if not enough want to go.

8. Parents are not given information about how to find out more about the trip.

9. The language is too simple, e.g. 'child'. Although the letter is polite, it should

be more detailed and informative.

Correct answer

On the following page is the modified letter. Read this second answer to the exam

question and see how the examiner's comments have been incorporated into the

letter. The numbers show where the changes have been made.


Newtown High School

Newlands Road

NEWTOWN

Barsetshire

NN1 1NN

12 October 2005

Dear Parent/Guardian/Carer

(1) Visit to Newtown Outdoor Pursuits Centre

We are planning to take all Year 11 students on a visit to Newtown Outdoor

Pursuits Centre on Thursday 10 December (2). We shall leave school

immediately after registration in the morning, and we intend to be back at the

main school entrance by 7 o'clock in the evening. We shall be travelling by

Brown's Executive Coaches, which are fitted with seat belts and speed limiters. If

our return is delayed for any reason, you may contact the company for

information on 01234-567890. (3)

Six teachers and several parent volunteers will accompany the students, who will

be in groups of no more than ten throughout the day, always with at least one

adult. (4)

If your son/daughter comes on the trip, s/he will need to bring a packed lunch,

and sufficient drinks for an energetic day! No spending money is necessary, as

there are no shops at the Centre. (4)

School uniform should not be worn for this trip; students should wear

comfortable old clothes that will not be damaged by water or mud; any specialist

equipment will be provided by the Centre. (4)

Newtown Outdoor Pursuits Centre offers a range of adventurous activities such

as rock-climbing, abseiling, orienteering and canoeing. They are all supervised by

fully-trained centre staff, and excellent first-aid facilities are available should any

minor accidents occur. (4)

We have arranged this visit as part of our students' personal and social education

programme, to help them develop skills of teamwork and of supporting each

other in challenging situations. (5)

We hope that you will agree to your son/daughter taking part in this day. If so,

will you please sign and return the slip at the bottom of this letter with a

donation of £10 (cash, or cheques made payable to 'Newtown High School Fund')

to cover the cost of travel and use of facilities at the Centre. We regret that we

may have to cancel the trip if insufficient donations are received. (6, 7, and 8)

Please contact me at the school if you wish to know any more about this visit.

(9)

Yours sincerely,

M Jones (Headteacher)


Mark scheme

Foundation Tier paper

You would get a grade C if you can:

• Convey your meaning simply and accurately to readers.

• Use language that is right for the particular audience.

• Set out your writing clearly and helpfully.

Higher Tier paper

You would get a grade A if you can:

• Understand exactly what your readers need to know.

• Use a wide range of words to give precise instructions, explanations or

descriptions.

• Use suitable presentational devices to help convey your meaning.

Documents

Writng to inform, explain and describe