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ASHTON PARK SCHOOL ENGLISH PAPER ONE EXAM SECTION B
NAME......................................................
SECTION B Time allowed: 45 mins Total marks: 27 Writing to argue, persuade or advise You will have a choice of 4 questions requiring you to: • argue,
• persuade or
• advise.
Choose ONE question.
2007
1
Contents
SECTION B: THE WRITING SECTION
PAGE
The Writing mark scheme 3 -5 What the examiners are looking for 6 SKILLS: Different types of sentences 7 Simple, Compound and Complex sentences 8 - 9 Connectives 10 Tacking the exam paper – the question 11 Planning 14 - 13 The writing stage, paragraphs and connectives 12 - 16 Writing to argue 17 - 19 Writing to persuade 20 – 24 Writing to advise 25 Proof-reading 26 HIGHER Tier – past exam questions 27 - 28 FOUNDATION Tier – past exam questions 29 – 33 Writing checklist – assess your own writing 34
Make sure you only nnswer ONE question
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GENERAL WRITING CRITERIA
Communication and organisation
MARK SKILLS CONTENT U • Some meaning • One or more points made G • Organises ideas in sentences
• Some sense of purpose and audience • May express personal opinions • Little or no use of detail / evidence to
support or develop views • Some awareness of form
F • May occasionally try to paragraph • May use some connectives
• Shows awareness of audience • Occasionally uses more formal language (if
appropriate) E • Tries to organise ideas into paragraphs
• Links some arguments using connectives
• Is aware of purpose and audience • Uses some rhetorical devices, e.g. rhetorical
questions, occasionally emotive language • Tries to use language for impact • Can use formal language (if appropriate) but
still occasionally uses slang etc. • May use devices for effect, e.g. repetition
for effect D • Points organised in paragraphs • Uses evidence taken from personal
experience or stimulus material (i.e. reading material from section A)
C • Paragraphs are competently linked • Confident use of connectives • Evidence of a structured, organised
argument
• Confident use of rhetorical devices, such as anecdote or rhetorical questions
B • Form, content and style are matched to purpose an audience
• Well structured, starting to use paragraphs to enhance meaning
• Connectives coherently integrated
• Begins to anticipate and evaluate potential audience response
A • Coherently structured with fluently linked sentence structures and paragraphs and evidence of conscious crafting.
• Controls a range of means to gain emphasis (e.g. one sentence paragraph) and demonstrate alternative viewpoints (e.g. anecdote, reference)
• Extensive vocabulary range A* • Controlled and sustained crating with
highly effective and delightful vocabulary choices
• Connectives used persuasively and seamlessly
May use some inventive structural and / or linguistic devices
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SPECIFIC CRITERIA FOR WRITING TO ARGUE
MARK CONTENT F • A number of arguments put forward E • Linked arguments put forward D • Includes arguments with a number of reasons C • More detailed arguments put forward
• Awareness of alternative viewpoints of audience • Varies tone
B • May use argument and counter-argument with competence • More sophisticated level of argument and vocabulary range
A • Argues successfully and convincingly; well-informed, drawing on a range of sources A* • May use satire, irony, etc. but always fittingly and in context
• Integrates a range of complex ideas from a range of sources
SPECIFIC CRITERIA FOR WRITING TO PERSUADE
MARK CONTENT F • A number of points of persuasion put forward E • Linked points put forward D • Persuades by a variety of means
• Some attempt to control tone, e.g. to be angry, indignant etc. C • Persuasion is more detailed
• Awareness of alternative viewpoints / interests of audience • Sense of varying emphasis, and use of a chosen tone
B • Detailed and well developed • More sophisticated level of persuasion and attempt to influence audience
A • Persuades successfully and convincingly; well-informed, drawing on a range of sources A* • May use satire, irony, etc. but always fittingly
• Integrates a range of persuasive techniques
SPECIFIC CRITERIA FOR WRITING TO ADVISE
MARK CONTENT F • A number of points made E • Linked points put forward D • Presents advice with a variety of reasons C • Advice is more detailed
• Sense of varying emphasis, and use of a chosen tone B • Detailed and well developed
• May use conditionals (if, could etc.) with competence • More sophisticated level of advice and attempt to influence audience
A • Advises successfully and convincingly; well-informed, drawing on a range of sources A* • May use exaggeration, irony, etc. but always fittingly and in context
• Integrates a range of complex details from a range of sources
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MARK SCHEME: SKILLS
Sentence structures, punctuation and spelling Mark Skills Content U • Some sentences
• Some accuracy in spelling of simple words
• Random punctuation
• Occasional full stops • Some words spelt correctly
G/F • In sentences • Generally accurate basic spelling • Some conscious punctuation
• Occasional full stops • Occasional connectives • Uses mainly simple and compound
sentences E/D • Uses a range of punctuated
sentences (marked with full stops) • Some accurate spelling of more
complex words • Starts to use a range of
punctuation (e.g. exclamation / question marks, brackets etc.)
• May use complex sentences • Uses a variety of sentences • General accuracy in full stops and
capital letters
C/B • Uses sentences for effect • Generally secure in spelling • Generally secure in punctuation
• May use rhetorical devices, first person, imperatives (commands), repetition, short sentences, rhetorical questions and / or exclamations for effect
• Secure use of connectives • Generally accurate in use of
commas, questions marks etc. A/A* • Uses full range of appropriate
sentence structures • Achieves a high level of technical
accuracy in spelling • Achieves a high level of technical
accuracy in punctuation
• Clear and controlled, wide range of sentence structures for effect
• May use wide range of connectives for effect
• Range of punctuation used in a sophisticated manner; colons and semi-colons used correctly when appropriately.
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Paper 1 Section B Writing Section B requires one piece of writing that argues, persuades or advises. There will be four tasks, linked to the themes or topics of the reading materials in Section A. You will have to choose ONE.
Arguing will usually involve presenting evidence and a series of reasons.
Persuading will usually involve persuasive techniques.
Advising may involve presentational techniques, such as bullet points etc. What the examiners are looking for
Can you communicate clearly in writing?
Is the purpose of your writing clear?
Can you write for a particular audience?
Can you use particular forms (e.g. formal letters) effectively?
Can you use a wide vocabulary?
Can you organise ideas into sentences, paragraphs and whole texts?
TOP TIP: you’ll get credit for attempting paragraphs, even
if they’re not correct. So have a go!
Can you spell and punctuate accurately?
TOP TIP: Take particular care over the spelling of
common words and full-stops and capital letters.
Can you use a variety of sentences?
TOP TIP: Try to make sure you include some short, simple sentences as well as the more complex types of sentences.
Can you use Standard English when appropriate?
Can you present work neatly and clearly? How legible is your handwriting?
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SKILLS
DIFFERENT TYPES OF SENTENCES To achieve a higher grade in the ‘Skills’ mark scheme you will need to use a variety of sentences for effect. You could try using the following types of sentences:
Questions These are useful for: • drawing the reader in, E.g ‘So what are the main issues here?’ • making a point forcefully, and may be used as question and answer format: E.g. ‘Can this
really be seen as acceptable? No.’
Warning: use these sentence types sparingly – ie. not too often.
Exclamations These are useful for expressing emotion, but only use one exclamation mark!
One word sentences These create variety and impact. ‘Excellent.’ TASK 1 Rewrite the following extract in a more lively style using at least one of the sentence types above.
Teenagers should be taught to drive in school because this will help them in later life. They will be able to travel easily to jobs or college.
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SIMPLE, COMPOUND AND COMPLEX SENTENCES You will also need to use simple, compound and complex sentences. Complex sentences are particularly important (E/D grade upwards) so make sure you have a look at them! The following information has been re-written into three different sentence types:
Subject Information
Fox-hunting cruel sport
some people still support it
should be banned
Simple sentences. These contain one subject and one verb and are used to communicate ideas clearly, particularly at the beginning of paragraphs as topic sentences:
e.g. ‘Fox-hunting is a cruel sport.’ Compound sentences: Main clauses joined by ‘and’, ‘but’ or ‘so’.
e.g. ‘Fox-hunting is a cruel sport but some people still support it! Complex sentences Contain a main clause – the main information in a sentence that makes sense on its own -and a subordinate clause – extra information which can be taken out of the sentence and doesn’t make sense on its own. e.g. Although fox-hunting is cruel, some people still support it!
Subordinate clause main clause e.g. BEING a cruel sport, fox-hunting should be banned.
Subordinate clause main clause e.g. Fox-hunting, which is a cruel sport, should be banned.
Subordinate clause
REMEMBER: Use a comma to
separate the parts of sentences
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TASK 2: Rewrite the following information into different types of sentences.
Subject Information
School uniform expensive
hated by students
should be optional
Simple sentence
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Compound sentence
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Complex sentence (s)
1. .................................................................................................................................................................
2. ................................................................................................................................................................
3. ................................................................................................................................................................
Compare the complex sentences that you and your partner have written. Can you come up with three different types of complex sentences?
TASK 3: Underline the complex sentences in the extract below:
If you’re a young male driver, it could cost up to £2000 to insure yourself to drive. How can this be fair? I am a sensible eighteen year old male driver: I have never had an accident or broken the law whilst driving. Yet I have to pay a horrific amount for my car insurance. Being a teenager, I am classed as a would-be boy racer, according to my insurers. However, my 35 year-old uncle, who really is a boy racer and has a hefty 6 points on his licence, only has to pay £300 for his insurance!
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CONNECTIVES: LINKING YOUR IDEAS AND PARAGRAPHS ADDING and also as well as moreover too what is more additionally furthermore … in addition …
CONTRASTING instead of otherwise unlike on the other hand conversely by comparison yet but alternatively whereas
COMPARING equally in the same way as with similarly likewise
EMPHASISING above all in particular especially significantly indeed notably more important specifically … clearly of course naturally surely evidently obviously
QUALIFYING however maybe unless except if as long as apart from yet nevertheless despite this … although possibly
CAUSE AND EFFECT because so therefore thus consequently since hence as a result of as a consequence subsequently
SEQUENCING next then first, second, third finally meanwhile after eventually... first of all...
ILLUSTRATING for example as revealed by it would appear that in the case of it would seem that for instance such as
SUMMARISING on the whole to sum up finally in conclusion to summarise in the end
TASK 4: Fill in the gaps using suitable connectives. 1. First the hounds chase the fox. ……………………………. they rip its guts apart.
2. As well as being cruel to foxes, horses may ……………………………. be injured when chasing a fox.
3. It could be argued that fox-hunting helps to control fox numbers. ……………………………., fox-
hunting may be seen as totally unnecessary.
4. Most people want to ban fox-hunting, ……………………………. recent MORI opinion polls.
5. People who support fox-hunting often have strong views on the subject. …………………………….,
those who are against hunting also have plenty to say about fox-hunts!
6. ……………………………., I think that fox-hunting should be banned!
7. Foxes can be a nuisance. ……………………………. they often tip over bins, as they search for food.
8. Foxes are beautiful creatures. ……………………………., they can be a pest.
9. Foxes kill chickens. ……………………………., foxes are very unpopular with farmers!
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Tackling the exam paper Read all of the questions before you make your choice. Every year, about 70% of students choose the first task to write about. This suggests that students don’t read all of the questions. It is important that you choose a task that suits you best, so make sure you read all of the questions. Planning and writing You should spend:
• 5 minutes planning your work • 35 minutes writing • 5 minutes checking your writing
Annotate the question It is often useful to highlight the key words in the question. For example:
Write an article for a newspaper where you aim to argue that
Shakespeare should be taught in schools.
For any piece of writing you must ALWAYS think about the following: TOPIC: what have you been asked to write about?
PURPOSE: are you writing to argue, persuade or advise?
AUDIENCE: who are you writing for? Should your writing be formal or informal?
FORM: how should your writing be set out – as a letter, article etc?
Task 5: Identify the topic, purpose, audience and form in the following task.
Write a speech for parents, teachers and students where you argue the case for or against work experience for students.
topic
form purpos
Audience . . .
Make sure you answer ALL parts of the question.
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Who? THE PLANNING STAGE: BOD!
Remember: Brainstorm
Organise
Develop
BRAINSTORM When you’re brainstorming try to include a number of key points, or main ideas (about four or five). Look at your brainstorm again – are any of the points you have made weak or irrelevant? You must include a variety of arguments for D grade upwards.
ORGANISE
Once you have thought of some ideas you need to organise your writing. Decide on a logical order for each of your points. For example, if you were answering Task 5 you might decide to look at some of the arguments for work experience followed by some of the arguments against it (counter-arguments). Remember to include your own views though! For C grade upwards your writing must be structured.
DEVELOP
An examiner wants to know why you think something is the case, so you need to develop your ideas by providing examples, evidence or further explanation. You can use a quotation or an example IN YOUR OWN WORDS from the source material (in section A). Or you can provide evidence for your points from your own personal experience. You will be expected to develop your ideas for D grade upwards.
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Remember to think about: The order of your key points.
Your first and last points are particularly important
The evidence you will use to support your view
TASK 6: Planning – now it’s your turn! Write an article for a magazine in which you argue that students should be taught to drive at school. PLANNING SHEET
Development
Key point
Development
Key point
Should students be taught to drive at school?
Key point
Key point
Development Development
Introduction............................................................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................................................................................
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THE WRITING STAGE Introduction
In your introduction always try to use some of the key words from the question, so that you can make sure that you are answering the question. For example, if you were responding to TASK 5 you could start with: ‘Is work experience a worthwhile experience or should it be stopped?’
Paragraphs: Topic sentences and connectives
Remember, your writing should be structured – your ideas should be:
• organised in paragraphs,
• in a logical order
• CLEARLY linked so that your line of thinking is obvious. Think about each paragraph as a link in the chain.
How to start your paragraphs – some suggestions
Often, the FIRST sentence of a paragraph should be the TOPIC sentence – the sentence which makes it clear what the rest of the paragraph will be about.
1. One good way to begin a paragraph is to use phrases like: ‘I think’, ‘I consider’, ‘I thought’, ‘I believe’ or ‘My view is’. These are all different ways of expressing your opinion.
2. You could also sequence your ideas by numbering your points, e.g. ‘’My first argument is’, ‘Secondly’ etc. This makes it clear to the reader that you are adding a new point and that you have thought about the order of your ideas.
3. To make counter-arguments, you could use connectives. For example, To balance the point that work experience has its advantages and disadvantages you might write: ‘However, work experience is not always a useful experience.’
Use connectives and link your ideas!
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Task 7: FOUNDATION. Spot the differences! Read the following two versions of a student’s writing:
It could be argued that work experience is not worthwhile as many students simply treat work experience as a holiday from school. Students may be given tasks, such as making tea, which teaches them nothing. I found my work experience, at a garage, to be very useful as I learnt a lot about car mechanics.
Work experience is a valuable experience because it allows students to see what the world of work is actually like and gives them real-life experience in the workplace, away from a ‘safe’ school environment where students are treated like children.
It could be argued that work experience is not worthwhile as many students simply treat
work experience as a holiday from school. Also, students may be given tasks, such as making tea, which teaches them nothing. However, I found my work experience, at a garage, to be very useful as I learnt a lot about car mechanics.
Another reason that work experience should be seen as a valuable experience is that it allows students to see what the world of work is actually like. It gives them real-life experience in the workplace, away from a ‘safe’ school environment where students are treated like children.
1. Underline the connectives in each version.
2. Underline the topic sentences in each version.
3. Which version is better ? Why do you think this?..................................................................
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Task 8: HIGHER. Rewrite the following extract from a student’s writing so that there are clear topic sentences and the writing is linked.
Write an article where you argue the case for students having part-time jobs
The disadvantages of teenagers having part-time jobs could include tiredness, and a lack of concentration on studies. Tiredness after work is problematic as physically demanding part-time jobs could impact on students’ academic performance; having undertaken a gruelling two hour paper round how many students would then settle to a further two hours study?
A part-time job enables students to mature, gain social awareness and gain independence, which makes them a more rounded individual and juggling the demands of work and school encourages self-discipline and a sense of responsibility in students, who, otherwise, may spend all of their precious free-time on MSN!
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Conclusion This is important and you should always aim to finish your essay and leave the examiner with a lasting good impression of your skills. You can do this by using similar words to those in the question. Read through the key points of your essay to provide you with a summary of your response. This is also a good place to explain how you responded to the question. For example:
“Although I can appreciate that people have their reservations about work experience, I think that overall the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. If properly organised and supervised, it is clear that work experience provides invaluable opportunities for emotional, social and personal growth. All students deserve this opportunity and therefore I am for work experience.”
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Writing to Argue
TASK 9: Marks for Writing to Argue Look again at the writing criteria – the General criteria on page 3, and the ‘Writing to Argue’ criteria on page 4 and the Skills criteria on page 5. Read the following statements. Tick the statements that are true of a C grade piece of writing to argue: A ‘C’ grade ‘Writing to Argue’ response:
Will have paragraphs that are linked Will use counter-arguments well
May use connectives May use slang
Be clearly organised May use paragraphs
Use detailed arguments Will use a variety of sentence types
TASK 10: Which is the best example of writing to argue? Students were asked to respond to the following task: “School children should not be brought to school in a car.” Write a letter to your local newspaper where you argue for or against this view. Now read the following extracts from the students’ responses: ANSWER 1 Dear Editor, The vision of a people carrier spewing out a school of whale-like students is one that is repeated all over the country. It is my opinion that the local council needs to do something about this before someone really suffers, in addition to the poor students. Firstly, it is the students who suffer in this scenario. Having been driven to the very doors of the school, they never benefit from the pleasure of a morning’s exercise on public transport. These trips can improve your sprinting when you try to catch them; your stamina as you have to stand the whole way and your vital capacity as you hold your breath to prevent the inhalation of cigarette smoke. However, it’s no joke. If we are to do something about the problem of the morning run, then we need to improve public transport. Is that really too much to ask in the 21st. century? If other countries which we visit in Europe have far better services, then . . .
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ANSWER 2 Dear Sir, I don’t think that parents should bring their children to school by car because it makes them lazy. If children are always brought to school by car then they will also become very fat which is a real problem for a lot of children today. My mum and dad never bring me to school in the mornings, but a lot of my friends do get lifts and they are always late so it doesn’t do them much good especially when I have to catch two buses and walk a fair way as well. My best friend is never on time and he always gets a lift even though he only lives half a mile away from our school. This is bad for my friend who is already fat, but it is also bad for me because all of the cars at the front of school are a safety hazard. These … ANSWER 3 Dear Sir, I am writing a letter to this newspaper for the first time, because I am really worried about the issue of parents bringing their children to school by car. I think that a law should be brought in to stop parents doing this because it does nobody any good. Many people think that they are doing a favour to children by giving them a lift, but they are the ones who come off worst. If they always receive a lift, then they will become very unfit. I also think that these children who receive lifts will tend to put on a lot of weight. This can only be a bad thing for everyone. Another bad thing about parents bringing their children to the school gates is that it makes the front of the school a dangerous place. Only last week a student at this …. I think …………………………….. is the best answer because ...................................................................
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I think …………………………….. is the worst answer because.................................................................
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HIGHER: What grades would you give these answers?
Answer 1 General writing.................................. Skills ....................................
Answer 2 General writing.................................. Skills ....................................
Answer 3 General writing.................................. Skills ....................................
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TASK 11: What grade would you give this writing?
1. Read the following essay. How many points does the writer make? ...................................
2. Underline the sentences which develop the main points. Which paragraph is developed
most successfully?............................................................................................................................
3. Underline the connectives in the writing to join the ideas.
Write an article for a magazine in which you argue that students should be
taught to drive at school.
Should teenage students be taught to drive in school? It is being argued that teenagers should be taught to drive as part of their secondary school education.
One of three argument are that being taught to drive as part of education should be compulsory to all students during secondary school, as it prepares them for when they leave school to either go on to further education or get a job. For example, there are many jobs, such as sales representatives that require people to be able to drive. Other jobs may be difficult to reach by public transport. Being able to drive back and forth from these places will give students a better chance in life, and let them spend their time doing more useful stuff than simply walking everywhere.
The second argument of the three is that driving should be taught but only be as an option. Some people believe that whether or not you want to be taught to drive as part of education is a decision for you to make. However, I believe that driving lessons should be available to students who want to be taught to drive as a part of their education.
The third and final argument is that teenagers should not be taught to drive as a part of their education as some believe it will distract students from their education in other subjects that are more important. Also, it could be argued that it would be too expensive on schools and the government to supply lesson to teenagers.
Each argument has a strong point to whether driving should or shouldn’t be taught to teenagers as part of their education, but in my personal opinion I believe that driving should be taught as an optional course in secondary school as it can benefit many people in many ways.
4. Now look again at the mark scheme on pages (General writing on page 3 and Writing to
Argue on page 4). What grade would you give this work?.....................................................
5. How could this student improve?..................................................................................................
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DO YOU KNOW HOW THE MARKS ARE GIVEN OUT IN THE WRITING SECTION?
WRITING TO PERSUADE
Key features according to the exam board
Writing to persuade: • is more one-sided than argument • uses a variety of persuasive arguments • often uses ‘if – then’ formula • Uses connectives rhetorical questions anecdotes humour/satire irony all within context • tries to anticipate opposition/objections • achieves a varying emphasis • shows a growing subtlety of purpose
Revise the rhetorical techniques that you studied in the Paper
One Reading Booklet
K at the mark schemes in this booklet
How can I improve my
grades?
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Unsure what these words mean? Use a dictionary to find the definitions of the following words: anecdote.............................................................................................. satire ................................................................................................. irony ..................................................................................................
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TASK 12: FOUNDATION. Persuasive techniques in a text
Read the following:
The dog is often described as man’s best friend. However, many people think that this ‘best friend’ is nothing more than a pest and a nuisance.
The most important reason for seeing dogs as a menace is that they leave their mess everywhere. Dogs foul streets, parks and other children’s play areas. This is very unpleasant for those people using these places. In addition, dog dirt can be a major health hazard to the public. Dog dirt can contain worm eggs. If these eggs find their way into our bodies they burrow their way out through the eyes, causing blindness and severe damage to the eye. The eggs can live on in the ground long after the dog dirt has rotted away, and some play areas and parks have even had to be closed to children because of dog dirt. Each year there are at least fifty cases of dog worm eggs damaging and blinding children’s eyes.
Furthermore, badly trained dogs are responsible for many appalling injuries. Every year in Britain more than 6,000 postmen and women are bitten by dogs, some are forced to leave their jobs. For example, at Gloucester, a 56-year old post-woman had her ear bitten off: at Doncaster, a postman had 51 days’ sick leave for bites.
If you still think dogs are loveable pets, think about the danger and chaos they create on the roads. In particular, strays that are allowed to run wild not only foul the streets but are also a menace to both pedestrians and drivers, causing many serious accidents. And it is expensive rounding up these pests.
Finally, any sensible person would see that dogs are a real nuisance. Far from being man’s best friend, dogs are often vicious, filthy animals who cause serious problems. Do we really want our streets to be covered in the muck these animals leave behind? Do we want our children to be permanently blinded by worm-infested dog dirt? Let’s clean up our streets. Let’s get rid of these disgusting pests.
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Now identify the techniques the writer has used to make the writing persuasive. Persuasive Technique Example
Rhetorical question (Question said for
effect)
Imperative (Command)
Personal Pronoun (‘you’, ‘we’ etc.)
Emotive Language (emotional language)
Evidence to support views
Repetition of key words
(repeating key ideas)
Exaggeration
Contrasts (Use of opposites)
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TASK 13: HIGHER. Persuasive techniques in a text Read the following:
Dirty Dogs
If I ruled the world, which is of course unlikely, I would ban dogs from cities. This is something I have been thinking a lot about recently: not the world-rule bit but the dogs. Perhaps I'm obsessional, but dog mess is everywhere these days. More and more of it. My son tramples through it blithely on the pavements and in the park and then runs into the house, and I clear it up, muttering dark threats against all dog owners. I used to think lonely old people should be allowed to keep dogs but I've hardened my views. Apart from guide dogs for the blind, they've all got to go. The old people will have to content themselves with hamsters or goldfish, or perhaps a fluffy rabbit. (I'm not too keen on cats, since the neighbour's one started defecating in my pot of tulip bulbs, killing them all stone dead.) In my more enraged Mussolini-like moments, I think dogs should be banned from the countryside, too, except for useful creatures such as sheep-dogs. I went for a bracing walk in Lynmouth two weeks ago, and there they were, evil little heaps of excrement just waiting to be trodden in: next to a waterfall along the seafront, in the woods. Imagine if we let our children pull down their knickers and poo everywhere, completely at will. Imagine the outrage. And another thing. Our local park has one small fenced patch - a children's playground - where dogs are banned (though that doesn't stop them leaping over the fence and infesting the sandpit with Toxocariasis, while their owners look on benignly). The rest of the park - the muddy expanses of grass, the bleak flower beds, the tragic little rose garden - is dominated by dogs. Great big slavering dogs, small yappy dogs, all chasing children, scaring babies, and shitting everywhere. You can't have a picnic in the summer without inspecting the grass first, or play football without falling over in some fetid heap. What is this about dogs and their owners that makes them so much more important than anyone else? I'm not mad enough to suggest compulsory dog euthanasia, but once the ban is enforced I'm afraid all dogs will have to be sterilized. And despite the cries of outrage that would ensue, there would be very large fines for dog-owners who allow their animals to foul the streets or parks, without clearing it up immediately. The fines would be like parking tickets: issued by zealots, no argument, just pay up. The money raised could be spent by local authorities on those snazzy municipal street-cleaning machines - the ones like giant Hoovers, with washing bits attached. Then we could all walk along with our heads held high, enjoying the beauties of nature and our fellow men, instead of being forced to watch our every step because of the stinking perils that lie beneath our feet. And the world would be a much happier place. Simple really. Justine Picardie, The Independent on Sunday
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Now identify the techniques the writer has used to make the writing persuasive. Persuasive Technique Example
Rhetorical question
Anticipates objections
Personal Pronouns
Emotive Language
Anecdotal evidence
Repetition
Descriptive language (metaphors, similes
adjectives, etc.)
Humour / satire
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WRITING TO ADVISE Writing to Advise: An example When writing to advise, you need to think about the problems the audience might encounter, and the solutions you could offer. The following extract is taken from a letter written by a student to a relative who is thinking about taking up teaching as a career. The student identifies poor behaviour as being a possible problem, and offers some advice on how to deal with disruptive classes.
See how many connecting words and phrases you can find in this piece of writing!
Dear Uncle Pete, I gather that you would like to take up a career
in teaching. As an expert in education, I thought I would give you some advice on how to deal with a difficult class!
The first, and most important, reason for poor behaviour in the classroom stems from the lessons itself. If a lesson is boring, confusing or seems irrelevant even the most conscientious student will become fidgety and distracted. The answer? Plan your lessons thoroughly. Think about your lesson objectives: is the point of your lesson clear to the students? Think about their different styles of learning: try to include varied activities to keep them interested. And think about your pupils’ interests. What do they enjoy?
Minor sentence adds variety
A conditional is used here – if . . .
The advice has a clear sense of purpose and
audience. Ideas are developed in paragraphs and the writing is
accurate. Vocabulary choices are adventurous.
The first sentence
introduces the topic or theme of
the paragraph
The joke to the reader works
well here
How could you incorporate their interests into your teaching? If your lessons are fast, fun and fulfilling you’re bound to win over even the most reluctant learner!
.
Rhetorical devices
(alliteration and the pattern of three) are used
effectively here.
Uses a range of punctuation,
including colons
Uses a variety of sentence structures,
including short simple
sentences and complex
sentences
Repetition is used for effect here
Uses emphasis
Question adds variety
25
FINALLY So you’ve planned and organised your ideas, written in paragraphs, linked your writing and now you think you’ve finished. Wrong! Spend five minutes checking your work carefully. TASK 14: Proofreading See how many mistakes you can spot in the following student’s work:
FAT’S GONE TOO FAR! In the canteen today was chips, burgers, pizza, thick milkshakes, sasuages and coke. oh and one salad it semed i was the only person bothered about this because everyone else was Quite happy clogging up their arteries with chips and burgers however they will be sorrie in 20 yrs time when their suffering from high colesterole and chest pains from walking to the garden gate and back as they are so unfit they wont look so good either with there bellys that look as if they’re 9 months pregnant – bellies filled with more chips, burgers pies, and the main ingrediant: endless pints of Stella, carling in fact anything with a volume level of about 5.2%. It’s a shame I here my frends saying that ever-so familiar phrase, “it won’t ever happen to me but it will. You see kids now-a-days have a packet of crisps instead of a yoghurt and thats alright from time to time but not every day it doesn’t take a genius to know that not only will they be stufing their faces with unhealthy food, they will be slumped in front of the t.v. as well. You parents should get up of the sofa and suggest a nice picnic in the countryside it doesn’t have to be boring, you could take a bat and ball and play some rounders or play hide and seek in the woods, anything to get active and burn off some calories after you’ve had a play have a bite to eat and I’m not talking fruit and veg - you could have a cake and a packet of crisps but have a sandwich and yoghurt too! So stay healthy guys and remember if you want to live longer and scoop all those dreamy men and women later in life, start taking care of that body now and you will recieve the reward later in life!
I think this writing should be divided into
paragraphs.
RATE YOURSELF 0 – 9: A bit more practice needed
10 – 19: A good effort
20 – 29: Well done – you’ve spotted lots of mistakes.
30 – 40: You’re a star!
26
PREVIOUS EXAM QUESTIONS
HIGHER _____________________________________________________________________________________________
SECTION B: WRITING TO ARGUE, PERSUADE OR ADVISE
Answer one question from this section.
You are advised to spend about 45 minutes on this section.
You may use some of the information from Section A if you want to, but you do not have to do so. If you use any of the information, do not simply copy it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Remember: • spend 5 minutes planning and sequencing your material • about two sides of average sized handwriting should be enough • spend 5 minutes checking:
• your paragraphing • your punctuation • your spelling.
WEDNESDAY 8 JUNE 2005 EITHER 1. Write an article for a magazine aimed at teenagers in which you argue that students should be taught to
drive at school. (27 marks) OR 2. Write the text for a car advertisement aimed at young men, which persuades them to buy the car. (27 marks) OR 3. Write an advice sheet for people who are newcomers to your area. (27 marks) OR 4. Write the text for a local radio programme on physical fitness. Try to persuade people to get fitter and
advise them how to do so. (27 marks)
27
SPECIMEN PAPER 2004 EITHER 1. You are the Headteacher of a secondary school. You are considering whether Personal, Social and Health
Education (PSHE) should be taught at your school. Write a document to be given to all staff where you argue the case both for and against this subject. (27 marks)
OR 2. Write a speech for a Governor's meeting where you, as a student, aim to try to persuade Governors to
change the rules about some controversial issue in your school or college. (27 marks) OR 3. You are a journalist. Write an advice column aimed at teachers about the best ways to keep fit for the job.
(27 marks) OR 4. Write an article for a tabloid newspaper where you aim to: • argue the case that too much media attention is given to celebrities • persuade the reader that celebrities should be left alone. (27 marks)
THURSDAY 30 MAY 2002 EITHER 1. Work experience is now compulsory for most students.
Write an article for an educational magazine, in which you argue for or against compulsory work experience. (27 marks)
OR 2. When teachers apply for a job at a school, they receive a pack containing information about the school.
Write a section of this pack in which you, as a student, try to persuade teachers to come to work at your school. (27 marks)
OR 3. Write a letter to a relative who is taking up teaching as a career.
Use your experience a student to give advice to this new teacher on how to deal with a difficult class. (27 marks)
28
PREVIOUS EXAM QUESTIONS
FOUNDATION _____________________________________________________________________________________________
SECTION B: WRITING TO ARGUE, PERSUADE OR ADVISE
Answer one question from this section.
You are advised to spend about 45 minutes on this section.
You may use some of the information from Section A if you want to, but you do not have to do so. If you use any of the information, do not simply copy it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Remember: • spend 5 minutes planning and sequencing your material • about two sides of average sized handwriting should be enough • spend 5 minutes checking:
• your paragraphing • your punctuation • your spelling.
MONDAY 8 NOVEMBER 2004 EITHER 1. ‘Young people nowadays don't know what real music is!' Write an article for a national newspaper where you argue for or against this point of view. You might write about: • what sort of music young people listen to • what they like about it • what other people might not like about it. Remember to: • write for the readers of a national newspaper • argue for or against. (27 marks)
29
OR 2. You want to take two weeks off school to take part in a televised talent contest. Write a letter
persuading your Headteacher to allow you to do this. You might write about: • why you want to take part in a televised talent contest • why this would be an important thing for you to do • how you would fit it in with your studies. Remember to: • use a variety of persuasive arguments • use a variety of persuasive techniques • choose the right language to persuade a Headteacher. (27 marks) OR 3. `You spend far too much time listening to that awful music!' Advise teenagers how to respond to this
frequently heard criticism from adults. You might write about: • the reasons why teenagers listen to music • what else teenagers do with their time • how teenagers could change the adults' point of view. Remember to: • write to advise • write for teenagers. (27 marks) OR 4. Write a letter to the organisers of the National Lottery in which you: • argue that more should be done to help young people with special talents • persuade the organisers that money should be given for this. You might write about: • why young people with special talents need more help • the kinds of help that could be given. Remember to: • write a formal letter • argue a case • persuade your readers. (27 marks)
30
MONDAY 7 NOVEMBER 2005 EITHER 1. "People should spend less money on bottled water and fizzy drinks and give more to charity." Argue
for or against this view. You might write about: • why people spend money on bottled water or fizzy drinks • what people could do with the money they saved. Remember to: • use language suitable for an argument • argue for or against this view. (27 marks) OR 2. Write a letter to a celebrity of your choice persuading him or her to support a campaign to end world
poverty. You might write about: • the problem of world poverty • why there is a need to campaign • what your chosen celebrity could do. Remember to: • write a letter • write to persuade • use language suitable for your celebrity. (27 marks) OR 3. Write an article advising teenagers what to wear and how to behave in different social situations such
as a job interview, a party or a wedding. You might write about: • some different social situations • how teenagers should dress • how they should behave. Remember to: • use language suitable for an article • give clear advice. (27 marks)
31
OR 4. Write an article for a teenage magazine arguing that schools should change to give Year 11 students
more freedom and advising about possible ways of bringing about these changes. You might write about: • what freedom Year 11 students should have • how schools should change • how the changes could be made. Remember to: • use language suitable for an article • use language to argue • give clear advice. (27 marks)
THURSDAY 10 JUNE 2004 EITHER 1. Your school or college wants to ban Saturday jobs for students. Write a letter to your Headteacher or
Principal in which you argue either for or against Saturday jobs. You may choose to write about all, or some, of the following: • the possible effects on students • your own personal views. Remember to: • write in letter form • choose the right language for a letter to a Headteacher or Principal. (27 marks) OR 2. Write the text for a leaflet, written by a group known as Rotten Pickings. Try to persuade 15 and 16-
year -old students to join a group pressing for better conditions for Saturday workers. Remember to: • use a variety of persuasive arguments • use a variety of persuasive techniques. (27 marks)
32
OR 3. Write an article for a careers magazine in which you give advice to students on what to look out for
when applying for a job, either part-time or full-time. You could write about: • where to look for a job • what to look for • your rights. Remember to: • write an article • choose the right language to advise • write for students to read. (27 marks) OR 4. Write the text for a speech where you: • argue the case for better conditions for students in schools or colleges • persuade people that more should be done to improve conditions. Remember to: • choose the right language for a speech • argue a case • persuade your listeners. (27 marks)
33
TASK 15: WRITING CHECKLIST Check your writing using the checklist below. Have you:
Planned your work
Included a number of points
Included detailed and developed points
Put your ideas into a sensible order
Used paragraphs
Linked your paragraphs
Used connectives
Used interesting language
Used rhetorical devices (e.g. questions)
Used formal language where appropriate
Thought about your audience
Clearly answered the question
Used an appropriate form (e.g. letter, speech etc.)
Used different types of sentences
Used sentences for effect (e.g. short sentences)
Used complex sentences
Used a range of punctuation
Checked the accuracy of your full stops
Checked the accuracy of your punctuation, e.g. commas
Checked the accuracy of your spelling How could you improve? ................................................................... .............................................................................................. ..............................................................................................
34
35
Answer to TASK 14 on page 26
In the canteen today were 1 chips, burgers, pizza, thick milkshakes, sausages 2 and coke.
Oh 3 and one salad. 4 It 5 seemed I 6 was the only person bothered about this because
everyone else was quite 7 happy clogging up their arteries with chips and burgers. 8
However 9 they will be sorry 10 in 20 years 11 time when they’re 12 suffering from high
cholesterol 13 and chest pains from walking to the garden gate and back. 14 As 15 they are
so unfit they won’t 16 look so good either with their 17 bellies 18 that look as if they’re 9
months pregnant – bellies filled with more chips, burgers, 19 pies, and the main ingredient 20: endless pints of Stella, Carling 21, 22 in fact anything with a volume level of about 5.2%.
It’s a shame: 23 I hear 24 my friends 25 saying that ever-so familiar phrase, “It 26 won’t
ever happen to me” 27 but it will. You see kids now-a-days have a packet of crisps instead
of a yoghurt and that’s 28 alright from time to time but not every day. 29 It 30 doesn’t
take a genius to know that not only will they be stuffing 31 their faces with unhealthy
food, they will be slumped in front of the T.V. 32 as well. You parents should get up off 33
the sofa and suggest a nice picnic in the countryside. 34 It 35 doesn’t have to be boring,
you could take a bat and ball and play some rounders or play hide and seek in the woods,
anything to get active and burn off some calories. 36 After 37 you’ve had a play, 38 have a
bite to eat, 39 and I’m not talking fruit and veg - you could have a cake and a packet of
crisps but have a sandwich and yoghurt too! So stay healthy guys and remember if you
want to live longer and scoop all those dreamy men and women later in life, start taking
care of that body now and you will receive 40 the reward later in life!
