Writing Strategies English 11R

7/30/2019 Writing Strategies English 11R

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Embedding Quotations

Many verbs can be used to introduce summaries, paraphrasesand quotations.

comments, describes, explains, reveals, proposes, reports, thinks,

writes, considers, concludes, claims, contends, insists, admits,concedes, concurs, derides, laments, speculates, warns, etc.

You can use an ellipsis (...) to indicate that youve left part of thetext out of your quote.

Joe Johnson believes, You stick to it ... thats again how tenacity wins(4).

You can use a colon to tie in your quote with your transitionsentence.

The ritualistic and primitive nature of the event is suggested in OldMan Warner's repetition of the following saying: "Lottery in June, cornbe heavy soon" (705).

You can use brackets to indicate any changes you make toquotations in order to integrate them with the style or clarity ofyour sentences (for reasons of pronouns, verb tense,capitalization, or comprehension).

Original: Her knees were tumors on sticks, her elbows chickenbones.

Example from a paper: The horror and seriousness of thesituation is quickly detailed by vivid imagery: "[Stella's] knees

were tumors on sticks, her elbows chicken bones" (1137).

NOTE: Be careful of changing too much within such a shortquotation. This tends to make the quotation awkward. In general,if you have to change more than two items in a short quotation,it's better to find another way to write it. Another option is toparaphrase the quote.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Use the proper punctuation when citing direct and indirect quotations.

1. Pay particular note to using "that." Doing so to indicate a quotation

usually means you are not quoting exactly from the source butparaphrasing to a certain degree.

Smith states that he was a loser (3).2. Smith states, "He was a loser" (3).

When quoting literature, you should use the most effective part of aquotation as part of one of your own sentences. This will create stronger


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voice. Instead of quoting the entire piece, use more of your own text.Examine the following examples to understand the difference.

o To describe Arnold Friend, Oates says, "He spoke in a simple liltingvoice, exactly as if he were reciting the words to a song" (1057).

o Oates describes Arnold Friend's voice as "lilting...as if he were

reciting the words to a song" (1057).Embedding by Enticing

So, I have a quotebut how do I make it work in my essay?

Follow the T-I-C-E Formula!(Transition Insert Cite Explain)

When writing an analysis on a piece of literature, it is important that you pullspecific evidence from the text to support your idea(s). This evidence may be

presented in the form of a paraphrase or a quote. When you have a quote toinsert in your writing, there are four steps you can take to ensure that yourquote fits flawlessly into your essay. Together, the steps are called the T-I-C-E Formula.

Pretend you want to use the following quote in your essay that you found onpage 71 in Of Mice and Men. You think this quote shows/supports how Lennieis lonely, which is the focus of your paragraph.

Quote:He wont do it, Lennie cried. George wouldnt do nothing like that. I been

with George a long time. Hell come back tonight. But the doubt was toomuch for him. Dont you think he will?

Follow the T-I-C-E Steps:1. Transition into your quote.

You need to transition from one idea to the next in your essay in order tomake your writing flow. Therefore, you cant just plop a selected quote into aparagraph and think that the reader will know how it fits in with your ideas.You need to lead into the quote with a transition. This will get the reader

ready to understand how the quote works to support the paragraphs topicsentence and, overall, the thesis.

So, what is a transition? Well, the transition acts as a link between ideas. It isa sentence or two (or a few words) that explains the purpose of the quote tofollow. Including background information (context) on the quote is alsohelpful to the transition. The following example includes both backgroundinformation and a transition.


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For the quote, you might write a lead-in that looks something likethis:In a conversation between Lennie and Crooks, Crooks is tauntingLennie with the idea that his good friend and caretaker, George, willnot return to look after him. Lennies loneliness is apparent in his reply,

George wouldnt do nothing like that. I been with George a long time.Hell come back tonight But the doubt was too much for him. Dontyou think he will?

Lennies loneliness is apparent is the transition for this sentence because itlets the reader know that the quote to follow will show how Lennie is lonely.

Note that this transition also came after some contextual information thatdescribes what was happening when the quote was said. Including thisinformation helps the reader understand the quote even more; therefore, itsa good idea to include contextual information before the quote if you can.

Once youve written your transition, be sure to

2. Insert the quote into the paragraph.

Make sure that you put quotation marks around the quote you are using. Ifyou do not do this, it will be considered plagiarism, which is defined as usingsomeone elses words as if they are your own. It is illegal.

One youve placed the quote into the paragraph, you should then

3. Cite the quote

To avoid plagiarism, you must give credit to the author whose quote you areusing by signifying that you in fact did not write the quote you just insertedin your essay. You do not have to write, On page 71 in Of Mice and Men byJohn Steinbeck, Lennie said.

All you have to do is1. Put parentheses right after the quote - ( )2. Write the page number where you found the quote inside the

parentheses - (71)

3. Put a period after the parenthesis to end the sentence and quote -(71).

When you cite a quote, it tells the reader two things:1. You are giving an accurate quote from the book because you are

giving evidence of a page number.2. Where to find the quote if the reader is interested in reading it in the

actual text.


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Now you have written the lead in, put the quote into the paragraph,and cited it. Now it is time to write the most important part of theformula

4. Explain how the quote supports the topic.

Yes, you may think that the transition already does this, but nine times out often, the reader needs to be reminded of why the quote is important to theessay. The explanation is the most important part to this formula as it acts asclosure to the idea the quote presents.

What to do:Write a sentence or a few explaining the quote. You already described whatwas happening when the quote was said (contextual info.), so now make sureyou explain how the quote supports what you are trying to prove in theparagraph. How does the quote support the topic sentence?

An explanation after the quote is inserted might beLennie is disturbed by the idea that George might not come back tolook after him. Through Lennies uneasiness, he is demonstrating hisloneliness in life; Lennie is no one without Georgehe would not be ablelook after himself on his own and would probably not be able tosurvive. This idea scares Lennie as it makes him think about the realityof his life.

Putting all the steps together, when you use a quote in your essay,it should look something like this:In a conversation between Lennie and Crooks, the stable buck, Crooksis taunting Lennie with the idea that his good friend and caretaker,George, wont return to look after him. Lennies loneliness is apparentin his reply, George wouldnt do nothing like that. I been with Georgea long time. Hell come back tonight But the doubt was too much forhim. Dont you think he will? (71). Lennie is disturbed by the ideathat George might not come back to look after him. Through Lenniesuneasiness, he is demonstrating his loneliness in life; Lennie is no onewithout Georgehe would not be able look after himself on his own and

would probably not be able to survive. This idea scares Lennie as itmakes him think about the reality of his life.

Becoming a Better Writer


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Writing is always a work in progress, which is why you should always readyour writing when it is returned to you in order to learn from it. When youread your writing after some time has passed, youre able to pick up onthings you werent able to when you handed it in; thats because youre nowgoing to be reading it with fresh eyes. Additionally, youll want to read theteacher comments given to you and use them to improve for the nextassignment. Heres how to read and use the comments to make writingprogress throughout the year:

1. Check Marks:You may see a series of checkmarks written in the left andright margins of your essay.1. Count up the checkmarks in the left margin only. This number

represents the number ofgrammatical errors youve made inyour essay. Write this number at the top of your essay with aG next to it. This way youll have a benchmark number thatyoull want to decrease as each assignment is given.

2. Count up the checkmarks written in the right margin. Thisnumber represents the number ofspelling errors made in youressay. Write this number at the top of your essay with an Snext to it. Youll also want to make sure that this number

decreases with each assignment to insure a higher grammargrade overall.3. Find each grammar and spelling error and fix them!The

best writers improve their ability by finding their mistakes andfixing them. When you find each grammar/spelling error andrevise it, youre learning how to do this every time you readover your writing, thereby improving your grammar overall.Each check mark is written next to a line where the mistake hasbeen made. You may have one, or you may have several. Eitherway, the number of checkmarks written represent the numberof errors in that line. See if you can find the errors and then fix

them!

2.Read over the Rubric: For most assignments, youll want to first look atthe rubric attached to the essay that represents the five areas of goodwriting: Thesis/Content, Organization, Development, Style, and Grammar. Iwill have placed a check mark in a particular number range for each areaof writing, which represents the number grade youve earned in thatcategory. The same rubric is used throughout the year; thus, youll want to


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keep track of how you are progressing in these areas as the yearcontinues.

3.Strengths and Work On Chart: For most assignments, I will devise achart on the last page of your essay that I fill in as I read your essay.

Comments made in the Strengths column are areas that I believe you didwell in for that assignment and that you should continue to excel in forfuture assignments. The Work On column will have suggestions forimprovement, things Id like you to work on for next time. Read over thiscolumn carefully. Remember, writing is a work in progress, so you shouldtake into account the comments in this column that will help you toprogress to the next level with your writing.

4.Writing Folder:Take your essay home and read it over with fresh eyes.1. Make your own Strengths and Work On chart on the handout

provided to you. You may use the chart written by me at the end

of your essay (if applicable), but I suggest you add at least onecomment in each column of your own as well. Reflecting on ourwriting always helps us to improve and continue to progress.

2. Find and fix all the grammatical errors. At this point, if you havequestions or would like to meet with me on your essay, be sureto see me to set up an appointment to do this.

3. Place your essay, attached with your Strengths and Work Onchart, in your class writing folder.

Revising CRISP-ly

CRISP your writing:

C ut wordsR educe clausesI ntensify verbsS harpen dictionP ack phrases

First, C ut words.Cut out every word that can be spared. That eliminates "due to thefact that, "in order to," and all other wordy constructions that don't sayanything.

Next, R educe clauses.Almost all clauses can be reduced in some way--often through

appositives or other phrases. Instead of "Barack Obama, who is President of


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the United States, . . . " simply eliminating "who is" reduces it from a relativeclause to an appositive.

Then, I ntensify verbs.Circle verbs and intensify the weak ones. See the attached list for

vivid verbs.

After that, S harpen diction.Find the very BEST words for the audience and the purpose. Pay

attention to the level of diction that is best for the audience, subject, andoccasion. Change any words that are either "higher" or "lower" than is best.

Finally, P ack phrases.Move them behind the nouns. Instead of "A proposal presented by

Derek Bok, the president of Harvard University, was defeated," pack it to"Harvard president Derek Bok's proposal failed." Using the example above:

Barack Obama, President of the United States, becomes "U. S. PresidentBarack Obama

Vivid Verbs to Build Commentary

LIMIT your use of the verbto be or the surface-level shows. Choose verbstobuild commentary (e.g. amplify, convey demonstrate, depict, exemplify,etc.)

Checking With an Essay Checklist

CONTENT COMMENTS

MLAFormat

Proper MLA HeadingThe paper is given a fitting title that is both originaland creative. It captures the central purpose of thepiece.Paper is double-spaced throughout12 pt. font (Times New Roman or Arial)

Introduction

The lead/hook is appropriate for the assignment (inboth length & tone).The segue from the hook to the discussion of the

text is natural and seamless.The claim (thesis) is properly constructed anddeveloped: narrow, manageable, and focused.The title and author are listed somewhere in theintroduction. Title of text is appropriately formatted


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BodyParagraphs

Ideas/opinions are organized to develop or explainall parts of your thesis properly. Paragraphing issound; it reinforces the organizational structure.The writer transitions effectively and smoothly fromone idea to the next (within and between

paragraphs).The writer has used sufficient and relevantevidence from the text to develop and supporthis/her ideas.The evidence is relevant and quality pieces ofinformation that go BEYOND the obvious andpredictable and also support the thesis. The writerdemonstrates sophisticated thinking.Quotations are embedded in the text with propercitations:

Transition Insert Cite

ExpoundThe writer has selected NOTEWORTHY quotes andhas discussed only that which is SIGNIFICANT to thethesis statement.The writer exhibits sound understanding,interpretation and analysis of text.

Conclusion

There is a clear conclusion that sums up orconcludes the discussion. It is not a repeat of theintroduction.The conclusion does not address a new idea that is

not developed in the essaythough you mayextrapolate from an existing idea.


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Checking With an Essay Checklist (contd)

CONTENT COMMENTS

Language& Voice

The writer reveals an understanding of audienceand purpose through effective use of diction andsyntax. Word choices are specific and accurate;they convey the appropriate tone. Colloquiallanguage is avoided.The sentences are purposefully varied in length aswell as structure and add originality and energy tothe piece.The writer avoids being verbose (wordy) andrepetitive. The writing is clear and succinct.

The writer writes about literature in the presenttense.The writer avoids using contractions.The writer avoids using the personal pronouns I,you, and we (if appropriate).

Checking With an Essay Checklist Part II_____ 1. Do you have an interesting lead or narrative hook that grabs the

readers attention?

_____ 2. Do you have a clear thesis statement?_____ 3. If your thesis is in your introduction, does your lead tie into your

thesis statement?

_____ 4. Do you address how you are going to support your thesis

statement?

_____ 5. Do you address all parts of the question?

_____ 6. Is each idea developed fully in its own section? (Is your essay

organized?)

_____ 7. Do you use supporting evidence from the text to answer the

question?

_____ 8. Do you explain your supporting evidence in relation to your

thesis?


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_____ 9. Do you have a provocative final thought(s)? (Can you

extrapolate? Do you take the idea about which you write and

apply it beyond the text?)

_____ 10. Do you use transitions to move smoothly between ideas?

_____ 11. Have you checked spelling, punctuation, and usage?

_____ 12. Do you use vocabulary that is appropriate and sophisticated?

_____ 13. Is there a sense of voice in your work that distinguishes you as a

writer?

Strengths

____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

_______

_____________________________________________________________________________

_______

Weaknesses

_____________________________________________________________________________

_______

_____________________________________________________________________________

_______

_____________________________________________________________________________

_______

Leading With Leads/Narrative Hooks

I.Startling Facts/StatisticsA. Over 2,000,000 people die each year in the United States.B. The life expectancy for people born in the United States today

exceeds 75 years; still, death for any one person isunpredictable. In fact, over 27,000 infants died last yearbefore reaching their first birthdays.

II.Quotation


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A. Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?Plato asked.

B. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,/It seems to me moststrange that men

should fear;/Seeing that death, a necessary end,/Will come

when it will come(Julius Caesar, Act II, Sc. 2, ll. 34-37).III.Metaphor/Simile

Loneliness is a soundless void for all but the one from whom itresonates. In Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck sounds thedepths of loneliness for two desperate characters, Crooks andCurley's wife, who seek to communicate both in word and action.But their voices are silenced in a world that reverberates withloneliness.

IV.AnecdotalAs I walked into the house, I began to cough fiercely. After a few

moments, I caught my breath and continued up the stairs and downthe hall to the kitchen where my grandfather was reading the paperand my grandmother was cooking spaghetti and meatballs for Sundaydinner. Id kiss my grandmother at the stove and move toward thetable that had my grandfathers packs of Now cigarettes, a lighter, andan ashtray with six or seven unfinished butts. My grandfather used tosmoke at least three packs a day. Every Sunday for years I wasgreeted with love from my grandparents in a smoke-filled home.

One Sunday we skipped the ritual of dinner and drove past mygrandparents house to the hospital. Hooked up to a respirator, mygrandmother lay in a hospital bed. Her life signs were weak, her

condition critical. I looked into her face but couldn't recognize theperson I had known my whole life. Her skin was so pallid that I realizedfor the first time what people meant when they said someone lookedghostlike. Grandma had cancer. If she had been in an accident, I couldhave understood. I wouldn't have felt any better, but I would haveunderstood why. Why was Grandma dying? She was the victim ofcancer. I mean victim because she never smoked, but she was theunfortunate casualty of second-hand smoke.

*** body sections on second-hand smoke ***

Framing an essay in the conclusion. . . . I didn't learn the effects of second-hand smoke until only afterGrandma was hospitalized. I remember that I cried for days. I wishthat my tears could wash away all the smoke in the world. But theycan't. The day Grandpa buried Grandma he kicked the habit.


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Transitioning

I. Repetition of a Key WordBy repeating in the first sentence of a paragraph a word used in thepreceding paragraph, you help to smooth over the gap between

paragraphs.

Example: And if these prove to be but an illusion, if the husbandbecomes

an alimony payer, the father a stranger to his children, the seeker forpermanency a wanderer, is not ours a matrimonial anarchy?

Why should such anarchy prevail?(The repetition of the word anarchy carries the thought

across the gap between paragraphs.)

II. Direct Reference

A preceding idea may be referred to directly, often in summary form.

Example: Today a computer, sorting checks and printing figuresfaster than the eye can follow, can handle a whole days work for oneof the bank's thirty branches in fifteen minutes.

But the incredible efficiency of computers and their remorselesslogic may be eliminating jobs as well.

III. Pronouns as Transitional DevicesA pronoun that refers to a person or an idea mentioned in thepreceding paragraph often provides a smooth transition between

paragraphs. The pronouns most commonly used in this way are he,she, they, this, that, these, those, them, and it.

Example: Before the fire, homeless shelters served the needs of manyin the community.

All this has now been wiped out.

IV. ConnectivesMost of the connectives listed for use in linking sentences may alsoserve as transitional expressions between paragraphs. The followingconnectives are commonly used in this way:

1. Time signalsfirst, then, next, later2. Minus signals for contrastinghowever, but, unfortunately, on the

contrary, on the other hand3. Plus signals for additionand, in addition, moreover, besides4. Results signals for consequencesconsequently, therefore, hence,

thus


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IV. Connectives (contd)

accordingly consequently in additionsimilarly

also finally in factsuchand for example likewise thenanother for instance moreoverthereforeas a result fortunately neverthelessthusat last furthermore on the contrary

besides hence onthe other hand

but however otherwise

V. Correlative ConjunctionsCorrelative conjunctions are always used in pairs.

Example: The work is not only profitable but also pleasant.Do you know whether Sara is coming alone or with her

parents?

Correlative Conjunctions4. either . . . or

5. neither . . . nor6. both . . . and7. not only . . . but also8. whether . . . or

VI. Subordinating ConjunctionsSubordinating conjunctions are used to begin subordinate,adverbial clauses.

Example: Although speed is important, accuracy is more important.When I take an examination, I become frightened.

Commonly Used Subordinating Conjunctionsafter as though since unlesswhenalthough because so thatwheneveras before than

where


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as if if thoughwhereveras long as in order that unlesswhetheras much as provided that until

while Diagnosing Papers

A. Thesis statement: topic + point of viewe.g.: topic: human nature + point of view: man is inherently

evil and will ultimately destroyhimself

B. Topic sentences which relate back to some part of the thesisstatement

- If it doesnt, a) you have problems with your thesisor

b) you have extraneous information- It shouldnt be the first sentence of each body paragraph

(boring)- Warriners Complete Course (pp. 309-312)

C. Supporting evidence (i.e. quotes, paraphrased information): amount,quality in relation to the topic sentence, placement, embedding inones own sentences, explanation, transition

D. Explanation of evidenceE. LeadF. Transition into your thesis from your lead as well as transitions in the

body of your paper from one paragraph to the next and one

thought to the nextG. How you are going to support that thesis (intro. reference

examples)H. Restated thesis in your conclusion? Implied?I. Strong final thoughts (extrapolation)J. Editing: especially run-ons, sentence fragments, commas, agreement

issues, etc.

Writing Dos and DontsA. Be sure that your thesis is clear. If not, your paper wont make

sense to the reader. Also,be sure to answer all parts of the question. Finally, avoid

surprise introductions introductions that hold off on telling what specifically you

will address. The result isoften an introduction without a clear thesis statement.


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(weak) e.g. In A Dolls House by Henrik Ibsen, Nora Helmer searches forself; her new understanding leads toa central theme of the play.(better) e.g. In A Dolls House by Henrik Ibsen, Nora Helmer realizes thatshe must leave her family in order to find herself;

of course, this epiphany addresses the conflict betweenfollowing social conventions and choosing ones own path.B. Think vertically, not horizontally.C Develop your thinking. Give specific examples from the text

to support your answer. When you do not givespecific examples or evidence, you tend to

become redundant. Also, dont make unsubstantiated claims. e.g. Psychological effects of war: Gerard Duval, not being ableto go home again, dehumanization(Kemmerichs boots), and despair and giving up and the endD. Work on developing an interesting opening. Avoid meaning

of literature openings (e.g. Literatureprovides us with or e.g. In literature, authors )E. Finish with a strong conclusion/final thoughts.

- Be provocative. Extrapolate.F. Work on transitions.G. Write in the universal present and dont shift verb tense.e.g. Paul realized realizes he could not cannot go home again.H. Be attentive to your punctuation and usage, especially

1. R.Os 4. S-V agreement2. S.Fs 5. Pronoun/antecedent agreement3. Commas 6. Verb tenses

I. Be aware of your audience, which means attentiveness tolanguage.

- Avoid clichs: trophy wife, her true colors, worldturns upside down

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Writing Strategies English 11R