Writing Standards in Action - Grade 6 Opinion/Argument ... · Web viewGrade 6, Standard 1 AND Writing. Grade 6. Standard 2(continued)B2> Examples: 1, ... 2 The writer provides context

GRADE 6FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:Massachusetts Curriculum Frameworkfor ELA and Literacy (2017)

“What should good student writing at this grade level look like?”

The answer lies in the writing itself.

The Writing Standards in Action Project uses high quality student writing samples to illustrate what performance to grade level standards looks like—in action.

Writing Standards in Action

Grade 6English Language Arts

Opinion / Argument

Persuasive Essay

Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Athens)

Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary EducationWriting Standards in Action Projectwww.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa

SAMPLE B6-14a (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)

Accessible MS Word

companion document

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http://www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa

STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY

The student writing sample that follows includes standards-based commentary. The commentary in this column describes how the writing meets the standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for English Language Arts and Literacy (2017) and other content frameworks when applicable.

Understanding the Standards-Based Commentary

1. Grade-specific standards addressed are:

Listed in the column to the right of student work by strand, grade, and number (or number and letter, where applicable)

Marked by a letter code (in parenthesis), also in the column to the right of the student work

EXAMPLE: (A)

2. The letter codes with a letter-coded arrow beneath each standard in the right column:

Are of the same letter code as the letter in parenthesis that marks the standard being addressed

Mark standards-based commentary related to the standard being addressed

Appear in alphabetical order

EXAMPLE: A1>

3. Corresponding letter coded arrows within the text:

Set off sections of student work to which commentary applies

Do not necessarily appear in alphabetical order—but where evidence of a particular standard exists

EXAMPLE: (begin>) section (<end)


Background Information

Writing Sample Title: Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Athens)

Text Type and Purpose: Opinion / Argument

Grade level/Content area: Grade 6 English Language Arts

Type of Assignment: Persuasive Essay

Standards Addressed: (W.7.1), (W.6.1), (W.6.2), (W.6.4), (W.6.8), (L.6.3), (L.6.6)

See descriptions of these standards in the right column of the next page.

Important note about this sample: This sample is the first of two posted opinion argument essays (B614a—Pro Athens and B614b—Pro Sparta) written by different writers in response to the same on-demand prompt. The samples take opposite sides of the same issue and make use of somewhat different elements of effective writing.

Highlights:This sample of student work meets grade level standards. It demonstrates the following attributes of effective writing. The sample:

Addresses appropriately the task, purpose and audience Makes a clear claim and acknowledges the opposing

point of view Creates a largely effective progression of ideas with a

compare/contrast structure Supports reasons and develops ideas with clear

examples and descriptions Integrates content appropriate to the indicated

assessment purposes Establishes and maintains an appropriate style and tone Uses humor to engage the audience Exhibits control of a variety of a sentence structures Includes effective, appropriate word choice



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Writing Standards: Grade 7, Standard 1 (W.7.1) Write arguments (e.g., essays, letters to the editor, advocacy speeches) to support claims with clear reasons and relevant evidence.EXAMPLES: (A)

Writing Standards: Grade 6, Standard 1 (W.6.1) Write arguments (e.g., essays, letters to the editor, advocacy speeches) to support claims with clear reasons and relevant evidence.EXAMPLES: (B) (C) (D)

Writing Standards:Grade 6, Standard 2 (W.6.2) Write informative/explanatory texts (e.g., essays, oral reports, biographical feature articles) to examine a topic and convey ideas, concepts, and information through the selection, organization, and analysis of relevant content.EXAMPLES: (B) (C)

Writing Standards:Grade 6, Standard 4 (W.6.4) Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.EXAMPLES: (E)

Writing Standards:Grade 6, Standard 8 (W.6.8) When conducting research, gather relevant information from multiple print and digital sources; assess the credibility of each source; and quote or paraphrase the data and conclusions of others while avoiding plagiarism and providing basic bibliographic information for sources.EXAMPLES: (F)

Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 3 (L.6.3) Use knowledge of language and its conventions when writing, speaking, reading or listening.EXAMPLES: (G)

Language Standards: Grade 6, Standard 6 (L.6.6) Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases; independently research words and gather vocabulary knowledge.EXAMPLES: (H)


Instructional Practices:The teacher used the following practices:

Designed and administered an on-demand writing prompt to assess writing skills and content learning

Designed and presented a pre-writing planning grid

Assignment Description: At the end of a unit of study entitled Athens vs. Sparta, students wrote an on-demand opinion/argument essay in response to a prompt that asked whether Athens or Sparta would have been a better place to live. The prompt was designed to assess content knowledge from a unit of study and the ability to write an effective argument.

Intended Audience: Teacher

Time: Unknown

Writing Process: In class; pre-writing; organizing; drafting; revising; self-editing (Revising and self-editing done in the process of writing a single draft during the on-demand assessment process.)

Materials: Unknown

Please note:The samples may contain inaccuracies in wording and content or shortcomings in the use of standard English conventions

END OF BACKGROUND



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Understanding the Standards-Based Commentary

The student writing sample that begins on this page includes in this column standards-based commentary describing how the writing meets the standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for English Language Arts (2017) and other content frameworks, when applicable. Where they apply, sub-standards marked by letters are included.

Evidence for the commentary is noted in the text of the student writing using paired letter-coded arrows and colored highlighting.

For example:

A1> Marks the beginning and <A1 marks the end of the relevant section, which is also highlighted. Please note that these labeled items in the text do not necessarily appear in alphabetical order.----------------------------------------------------

Writing. Grade 7, Standard 1

(A)W.7.1.aIntroduce claim(s), acknowledge alternate or opposing claims, and organize the reasons and evidence logically in paragraphs and sections.

A1> Examples: 1

The writer introduces a clear claim, from which the rest of the argument flows, and acknowledges an opposing claim (If I had to choose to live in “the school of Greece” [Athens] or the “boot camp” polis [Sparta], then I would choose to live in Athens. Athens, in many ways, is a fantastic polis, from education to government whereas Sparta focused only on war.).


Grade 6—Opinion / Argument

In this sample…

The writer uses a compare/contrast strategy to organize in an on-demand setting an argument that integrates and assesses content from a unit of study. A logical, largely fluid progression of ideas creates considerable coherence and clarity. Varied sentence constructions, as well as appropriate general academic and domain-specific language, clarify significant concepts. The concluding sentences synthesize the argument and use humor and metaphor to give the claim added impact. Notwithstanding some difficulties with transitions, consistency of verb tenses, and shifting pronoun persons, this sample demonstrates the writer’s content knowledge and is a largely effective single-draft effort to persuade the reader of the validity of the writer’s claim.

Athens vs. Sparta (Pro Athens)

G> A1>If I had to choose to live in “the school of Greece”

(Athens) or the “boot camp” H2>polis <H2 (Sparta), then B4>I

would choose to live in Athens. G> A2>Athens, in many ways,

STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY::



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Writing. Grade 7, Standard 1 (continued)

A2> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4

The writer creates a largely clear and effective compare/contrast organizational structure (Athens, in many ways, is a fantastic polis, from education to government whereas Sparta focused only on war; ...the agora in Athens is one of the busiest places in Greece [AND] In the other polis, Sparta, there is no such thing as a colorful agora ... As you can see, Athenians lives free lives, while Spartan men had a literally “scheduled” life with almost no freedom.).

Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1 AND Writing. Grade 6. Standard 2

(B)W.6.1.bSupport claim(s) with clear reasons and relevant evidence, using credible sources and demonstrating an understanding of the topic or text.

AND

W.6.2.bDevelop the topic with relevant facts, definitions, concrete details, quotations, or other information and examples.

B1> Examples: 1, 2, 3

The writer supports the claim with clear, although sometimes awkwardly expressed, reasons (In Athens, people were motivated not only to have good physical fitness but also to use and exercise the mind ... Because of the wonderous education, Athens formed a near-perfect democrary in just 200 years! ... Another thing is that we didn’t just spend time on education and other brain-consuming things; the people of Athens had great physical fitness.).


is a fantastic polis, <B4 from education to government whereas

Sparta focused only on war. <A1 <A2 C1> B1>In Athens, people

were H1>motivated <H1 not only to have good physical fitness

but also to use and exercise the mind. <B1 <C1 B2>An Athenian

starts school at age 5, and depending on how wealthy your

family is, you may still be studying in your mid-twenties and

up to age 30! <B2 F>Throughout this time, you will learn things

like reading and writing to military training to H1>ethics and

philosophy. <F <H1

C1> B1>Because of the wonderous education, <C1 Athens

formed a near-perfect democrary in just 200 years! <B1

C2>With the democracy, <C2 all the free citizents of Athens are

allowed to vote on what they think is right; of the population

in Athens, including slaves, about 75% of them are free

citizents and all of them have a say in the government. C2>On

the other hand, <C2 in Sparta, the males have completely

scheduled life if they don’t get abandoned in the mountains

because people decided that their weak.



STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:

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Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1 AND Writing. Grade 6. Standard 2(continued)

B2> Examples: 1, 2

The writer supports and develops reasons with relevant evidence (An Athenian starts school at age 5, and depending on how wealthy your family is, you may still be studying in your mid-twenties and up to age 30! ... The agora is like the center of a town or a plaza where the marketplace is...).

B3> Examples: 1

The writer develops a sub-topic with concrete details (...the agora in Athens is one of the busiest places in Greece. The agora is like the center of a town or a plaza where the marketplace is, where most of the people’s jobs are, and it’s a place for worshiping Gods, like Athena in the Temple of Athena. Because of how busy the Agora is, it is very bright and colorful and “decorated” with many cultural acheivments.).

B4> Examples: 1, 2 The writer provides context clues to define terms that may be unfamiliar to the audience (...I would choose to live in Athens. Athens, in many ways, is a fantastic polis ... The agora is like the center of a town or a plaza where the marketplace is, where most of the people’s jobs are, and it’s a place for worshipping Gods, like Athena in the Temple of Athena.).


C1>Also, <C1 while Sparta had an army Athens had an

army plus a navy. A strong navy and a strong army lead to a

success in the polis of Athens. C2>Not only does Athens have a

strong military, <C2 F>but it had wonderful strategies. For

example, the time Persia attacked Athens, the Athenians were

outnumbered to the Perians 2:1 and still defeated Persia.

G>The Athenians destroyed 3,000 Persians and only lost 192

of their men. <F <G

C1>Furthermore, <C1 B3> A2>the agora in Athens is one of

the busiest places in Greece. <A2 B2> B4>The agora is like the

center of a town or a plaza where the marketplace is, <B2

where most of the people’s jobs are, and it’s a place for

worshiping Gods, like Athena in the Temple of Athena. <B4

C2>Because of how busy the Agora is, <C2 it is very bright and

colorful and “decorated” with many cultural acheivments. <B3




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Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1 AND Writing. Grade 6. Standard 2(continued)

(C)W.6.1.cUse words, phrases, and clauses to clarify the relationships among claim(s) and reasons.

AND

W.6.2.cUse appropriate transitions to clarify the relationships among ideas and concepts.

C1> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The writer uses words and phrases to provide largely clear relationships among the claim and the reasons for it, creating a logical, although not always fluid, progression of ideas (In Athens, people were motivated not only to have good physical fitness but also to use and exercise the mindz... Because of the wonderous education ... Also ... Furthermore ... Another thing is that we didn’t just spend time on education and other brain-consuming things.).

C2> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4

The writer uses mostly effective (With the democracy ... On the other hand ... Not only does Athens have a strong military ... Because of how busy the Agora is ...).


A2>In the other polis, Sparta, there is no such thing as a

colorful agora, <A2 filled with joy an laughter; because

of this, Sparta had no H2>cultural <H2 acheivements

(H1>architecture, <H1 poems, H1>epics, <H1 democracy, etc.)

greater or H1>parallel <H1 to Athens.

C1> B1>Another thing is that we didn’t just spend time on

education and other brain-consuming things; <C1 the people of

Athens had great physical fitness. <B1 In fact, the first

Olympics were created in Athens and held by the Temple of

Zeus, another grand building, because of how healthy the

fellow Athenians are. A2> D1> G>As you can see, Athenians

lives free lives, while Spartan men had a H1>literally <H1

“scheduled” life with almost no freedom. <A2 <G Athens in




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(D)W.6.1.eProvide a concluding statement or section that follows from the argument presented.

D1> Examples: 1

The beginning of the mostly effective conclusion is somewhat disjointed (As you can see, Athenians lives free lives, while Spartan men had a literally “scheduled” life with almost no freedom. Athens in many ways is a more joyful place to be, whereas Spartan just kill non-Spartan people for no reason and they were also scared of their own slaves. As Athens moved toward her Golden Age, Sparta moved backward in cultural acheivements.).

D2> Examples: 1

The concluding sentences synthesize and reframe the argument, using humor and metaphor, while maintaining the largely clear and effective compare/contrast organizational structure (If you want to live in a colorful, polis with lots of joy and laughter that’s reaching a Golden Age, come to Athens. Or, if you want to live in a military bootcamp where you were taught to steal, but if you were caught you may be killed, then Sparta is the place for you!).


(E)W.6.4Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.

E> Overall text reference In the process of completing an on-demand assessment, the writer makes a clear claim and constructs a largely clear and effective argument, while maintaining an appropriate style and tone. Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole rather than a specific example within the text.


many ways is a more joyful place to be, whereas Spartan just

kill non-Spartan people for no reason and they were also

scared of their own slaves. As Athens moved toward her

H2>Golden Age, <H2 Sparta moved backward in cultural

acheivements. <D1 D2>If you want to live in a colorful, polis

with lots of joy and laughter that’s reaching her Golden Age,

come to Athens. Or, if you want to live in a military boot

camp where you were taught to steal, but if you were caught,

you may be killed, then Sparta is the place for you! <D2

END OF WRITING SAMPLE




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(F)W.6.8When conducting research, gather relevant information from multiple print and digital sources; assess the credibility of each source; and quote or paraphrase the data and conclusions of others while avoiding plagiarism and providing basic bibliographic information for sources.

F> Examples: 1, 2

To support the central claim, the writer integrates in a largely appropriate, although sometimes awkward, manner evidence from the unit assessed by the prompt (Throughout this time, you will learn things like reading and writing to military training to ethics and philosophy ... but it had wonderful strategies. For example, the time Persia attacked Athens, the Athenians were outnumbered to the Perians 2:1 and still defeated Persia. The Athenians destroyed 3,000 Persians and only lost 192 of their men.).

Language. Grade 6, Standard 3

(G)L.6.3.aMaintain appropriate consistency in style and tone while varying sentence patterns for meaning and audience interest.

G> Examples: 1, 2, 3

The writer contributes to the appropriate style and tone of the sample by mixing sentences of varying lengths and types (If I had to choose to live in “the school of Greece” [Athens] or the “boot camp” polis [Sparta], then I would choose to live in Athens … The Athenians destroyed 3,000 Persians and only lost 192 of their men ... As you can see, Athenians lives free lives, while Spartan men had a literally “scheduled” life with almost no freedom.).




STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY::

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(C)W.6.1.eProvide a concluding statement or section that follows from the argument presented.

C> Examples: 1

The writer provides the claim of this inductively structured sample in a concise, effective conclusion that hints at a course of action (Technology is faster, easier, and more convienent in a lot of ways, but I don’t see how it is worth hurting children! Its almost as if technology is setting up kids to become monsters! Are we going to let this monster be created or are we going to put a stop to it?).


(D)W.6.4Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.

D> Overall text reference This sample demonstrates a degree of coherence and clarity that makes the writer’s complex progression of ideas largely easy to follow. The writer appropriately heightens the persuasive impact of the sample by providing specific reasons and evidence that progress to the claim of the sample. Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole rather than a specific example within the text.

Language. Grade 6, Standard 6

(H)L.6.6Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases; independently research words and gather vocabulary knowledge.

H1> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 The writer enhances the appropriate style and tone of the sample with general academic language (motivated, ethics and philosophy, architecture, epics, parallel, literally).

H2> Examples: 1, 2, 3 The writer makes evidence more authentic and effective by using appropriate domain-specific language (polis ... cultural ... Golden Age).

END OF COMMENTARY




STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY::STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY::

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Documents

Writing Standards in Action - Grade 6 Opinion/Argument ... · Web viewGrade 6, Standard 1 AND Writing. Grade 6. Standard 2(continued)B2> Examples: 1, ... 2 The writer provides context