Writing Solid Introductions with Thesis Statements

Setting up the analytic argument.

INTRODUCTION:• Contains the following:• _____ A clear, definitive, and compelling thesis statement that is

uniquely qualified and organized logically.• _____ In literary analysis papers, title, author, and genre or

publication.• _____ More than one sentence.• _____ Provides only the essential context for informing the thesis

statement.• Does not contain the following:• _____ Proof or evidence of the thesis.• _____ Statement of intent, i.e. “This essay will be about,” or “I

will discuss.”

Reread your essay’s introduction and check for each of the above. Revise where necessary.

A strong introduction absolutely will do the following:

• Establish a clear overall focus and purpose for the paper by providing only the essential background context

• Specifically anticipate the major points of the paper in the same order in which they will be discussed

• Clearly articulate the thesis statement

A weak introduction may be one of the following:

• Abrupt -- starts immediately with a secondary point without establishing the overall context and purpose

• Too Brief--it needs to be expanded to anticipate the full range of the discussion in the paper

• General--it starts with an unnecessarily large framework ("Since the dawn of civilization . . .")

• Misleading--it introduces points that will not be fully developed, or perhaps will not ever be mentioned again. It promises but doesn't deliver

• Vague--it may mention the general topic, but gives no particular direction, purpose, or focus for the paper, and does not prepare for the specifics of the discussion

In the excerpt from Helena Maria Viramontes’ Under the Feet of Jesus, the character of Estrella develops rather quickly as a result of the trauma of violence. Viramontes first introduces Estrella by relating the confusion and sadness of the girl, but by the end of the excerpt Estrella appears to have developed into an independent woman with confidence and capability. To illustrate this evolution, Viramontes incorporates elements such as selection of detail emphasizing optimistic elements of the past, naturalistic figurative language, and earnest tone as Estrella finds some meaning and stability in the confusion that she initially faced.

Thesis Statement for Analysis

• Make a Claim = Argument– Not literal, not obvious

• Tell the Overall Meaning (Whole)– Meaning = Theme, Tone, Purpose

• Identify the Literary Strategies/Devices/Resources (Parts)– This is how you know

• Identify a shift or contrast– Shows complexity of the work

Examples of Thesis Statements without an Opinion

• Ebenezer Scrooge is forced to remember events of the past.

• Huck and Jim experience several conflicts during their travel down the river.

• There are many symbols in the book.• Dickens repeats images of “hands” throughout

the novel.• Matthew Arnold’s sea metaphor plays a

significant role in the poem.

BAD

Examples of Thesis Statements with an Opinion (Shoot for this Target!)

• Scrooge’s encounters with the ghosts illustrate the transformative power of memory.

• Huck’s and Jim’s friendship moves through three stages: the meeting, the challenge and survival, and developing love.

• In Great Expectations, the hands motif indicates Pip’s location in the journey toward maturity.

• The sea metaphor allows Matter Arnold to develop a political commentary on the Victorian Age, a time in which man is isolated and void of religious conviction, a situation that can only be rectified by human love.

• The diction and imagery Twain uses in relaying Huck’s story reveals his personal struggle with freedom and civilization.

GOOD!!

An Evolution of Thesis Statements

• “Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.” – What’s wrong with this thesis statement? – An opinion about the book, not an argument.

• “In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.” – Better? How so? What is still missing? – Doesn’t answer the “so what?” question—what is the point of

the contrast? What does the contrast signify? • “Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s

Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American ideals, one must leave ‘civilized’ society and go back to nature.” – Even better? It presents an interpretation of a literary work based

on an analysis of it content and answers “so what?”

Thesis Statement Elements

- P1 – overall meaning “whole”: theme, purpose, characterization, mood, attitude

- Claim – verb (stronger than “says”, “uses”, “does”)

- Direction (__, __, __) – what are the paragraphs going to cover, and in what order?

- Qualified P2s - literary devices “parts”

P1 – overall meaning• If prompt, answer it specifically.

– Show complexity. Overall theme, purpose, attitude will be specific and not just one word

– Too vague:

– More specific:

– In Marylyn Nelson Waniek’s poem, “The Century Quilt,” the speaker employs the central symbol of the quilt itself juxtaposted with domestic imagery to convey the theme that the nature of personal identity stems from an intimate engagement with the past and heritage.

Claim – the verbnot shows, does, or says

• Alludes to• Attests• Clarifies• Confirms• Conveys• Denotes• Depicts• Determines• Displays• Emphasizes

• Entails• Establishes• Exemplifies• Explains• Exposes• Expounds• Highlights• Hints• Illustrates• Implies

• Connotes• Indicates• Portrays• Represents• Reveals• Validates• Signifies• Substantiate• Suggests• Typifies

• Underscores

Qualifying Literary Devices (P2s)

• Be specific with categories of literary devices• BAD:– Dickinson uses diction, imagery, and syntax to convey her

purpose.– The narrator of Huxley’s Brave New World utilizes irony,

figurative language, and character to express his theme.• GOOD:– Dickinson employs formal diction, mechanical imagery, and

repetitive syntax to expose death as a concept to be celebrated, not lamented.

– The narrator of Huxley’s Brave New World asserts the dominance of human nature over technological comfort through situational irony, dystopian metaphor, and protagonist Bernard’s disappointingly conformist character.

Check the thesis statement: topic + debatable opinion

1. Can the writer identify the topic of the thesis statement? - The “parts” might be a symbol, character, a motif, an archetype or an aspect of DIDLS

2. Can the writer identify the opinion? Or does the statement merely identify something in the text?

3. Does the thesis merely summarize or only point out an obvious detail or pattern?- It shouldn’t

4. Does the diction in the thesis include vague or abstract words that contain too many meanings, thus preventing a clear focus?– It shouldn’t

Some ways to organize the paper…

1. Time: Organize chronologically, moving through the events in the novel or poem.

• Thesis: The speaker of Browning’s “Sonnet 43” argues for the necessity of religious devotion in romantic love.

• TS1: In the first quatrain [four lines], the speaker employs a rhetorical question and hyperbole to establish the extreme depth of her love towards her husband.

• TS2: This illustration of limitless love continues in the next quatrain, as the speaker adds a sense of timelessness to her devotion through the anaphora of “I will love thee”.

2. Literary Device: Organize by writer’s use of literary device. Qualify the device and connect it

to the meaning of the whole body of text.P2s

• Thesis: Dickinson employs naturalistic imagery with formal diction to convey the theme that nature should be respected and adored.

• P2: Dickinson uses naturalistic imagery that appeals to visual senses to express the awe inspiring element of nature.

• P2: Dickinson describes the setting with formal diction, which contrasts with the colloquial domestic surroundings, conferring a revered status for the familiar woods.

3. Idea: This approach includes papers organized by a definition, a classification, an analogy/comparison, a

comparison-contrast, or a cause-effect. The topic sentences, then articulate separate parts of the thesis statement. For example, topic sentences might define the aspects of a definition, classify the evidence into

categories, identify one cause, etc.

• Thesis: In The Canterbury Tales, Chaucer uses his characters to explore three moral categories: depravity, vice, and redemption. [NOTE: this progression is logical. depravity (cause) -> vice (effect) -> redemption (solution)]

• TS1: The lowest level Chaucer describes is one of complete depravity, representing morality without God.

• TS2: Chaucer’s second moral plane is further defined by the perpetration of evil acts as a direct result of this expanded depravity: sloth, selfishness, and hypocrisy.

Let’s re-cap: In the intro, we need

• The title of the literary work (what do we underline? when do we use quotations?)

• Full name of the author at first; after that, only the last name

• Thesis – CFC (complexity or shift, function, conjunctions)

1.An argument, position - NOT A FACT2.States the main “complexity” (contradiction:

hot & cold, tension/release, irony, juxtaposition, change, shift) OF THE ENTIRE PROMPT

3.Explains the “function” of the complexity/shift (What is the purpose or role of that complexity?)

4.Conjunctions or key words to help you construct the thesis: not only … but, however, yet, despite, but

The Prompt and the ProblemThe following prompt can be found on Question 1 of the 2010 AP English Lit/Comp Exam: Read carefully the following poem by Marilyn Nelson Waniek. Then write an essay analyzing how Waniek employs literary techniques to develop the complex meanings that the speaker attributes to The Century Quilt. You may wish to consider such elements as structure, imagery, and tone.

2010 Q1 Sample B; score: 4

…and the Problem again…

2010 Sample A; score: 3

…and the Problem again

2010 Q1 Sample R – Score 4

What instructional questions do these low-scoring essay-openings raise?

1. Should students be trained to repeat the prompt in the first paragraph?

2. Should students be trained to organize essays around a list of literary techniques/devices?

3. Should the first paragraph make specific claims about the complex effect or meaning of the text? Or should it remain vague?

What important tasks are these essay writers failing to take on?

• These writers don’t discuss specific “complex meanings” that the speaker attributes to The Century Quilt.

• They introduce specific literary techniques without stating how these are used by the poet “to develop the complex meanings that the speaker attributes to The Century Quilt.”

What an adequate response might look like:

Sample YYY; score: 9

What strategies does this highly successful student-writer use?

• The first paragraph has a thesis which defines the complex meanings attributed to the quilt.

• The description of the quilt’s theme or meanings respects that fact that the poem’s meaning is not static but “develops” as we read and as we deepen our understanding of the work.

What is this highly successful student-writer NOT doing?

• The student does not repeat the prompt.• There is no laundry list of technical terms for

literary techniques.• There is not much of a distracting “grabber”-

type introduction. Nearly all of this first paragraph is about the poem; there is a brief “grabber” sentence, but it is seamlessly related to the statement of the poem’s theme (i.e.“complex meanings”).

How does the successful writer introduce the “literary techniques”?

The one “technique” mentioned in ¶ 1, “symbol”, is not from the list of suggested techniques in the prompt; moreover, it is embedded in a meaningful statement about a specific idea:

A different way to succeed:

2010 Q1 Sample VVV – Score 8