Writing Lesson: Student Sample

8/10/2019 Writing Lesson: Student Sample

1/15

Cortez 1

Student Sample A

Date: November 14, 2013

Rating: Well Below (WB)

Commentary:

Student A is an English Language Learner (ELL) in my 2ndgrade class. During the pre-writing stage, she was following with the creation of the T-chart as a class. However, assoon as I sent the students to their seats to do independent work, student A seemed tokeep getting distracted with other things in her desk. I checked on her to clarify whatshes supposed to do and she started writing. Whenever I would turn to check if sheson task, she seemed to be writing. Without my knowledge, she kept erasing her first

sentence and rewriting it over. She was unable to finish.

The ongoing goals for this student are:

Step by step support to work on introduction, body and conclusiono Good strategy would be to go over one part at a time in order to build this

students knowledge on the three parts. For example, day one would befocusing on introduction; next day is body and lastly is conclusion.


2/15

Cortez 2

Student A

Benchmark 1(Well below)

2(Developingproficiency)

3(Meets

expectation)

4(Exceeds expectation)

6+1trait=id

eas,voice

I can write an opinion piecethat includes anintroduction, my opinion,

my reasons, details fromthe book that support myreason and a conclusion.(2.W.1: Write opinion piecesin which they introduce thetopic or book they are writingabout, state an opinion,supply reasons that supportthe opinion, use linking words(e.g., because, and also) toconnect opinion and reasons,and provide a concludingstatement or section.)

-Opinion writing isincomplete.

-Inaccuratecontent of thewriting piece.

-Does not includeany: Introduction,reasons withdetails,conclusion.

-More than half ofthe opinion writingis incomplete.

-Many inaccuraciesin the content of thewriting piece.

-Includes 1 of the 3:Introduction,reasons withdetails, conclusion.

-A few details of theopinion writing areincomplete.

-1-2 inaccuracies inthe content of thewriting piece.

-Includes 2 of the 3:Introduction,reasons with details,conclusion.

-Opinion writing iscomplete.

-Accurate content of thewriting piece.

-Includes all 3:introduction, detailsfrom the book tosupport reasons andconclusion.


3/15

Cortez 3

Student A



3(Meetsexpectation)

4(Exceeds expectation

WritingProcess:Revising,

Editing,Publishing

6+1trait=organization,

conventions,sentence

With the help from adults, Ican improve my writing byrereading my work andmaking changes.(2.W.5With guidance andsupport from adults andpeers, focus on a topic andstrengthen writing as neededby revising and editing.)

-There were nochanges toimprove thecontent andspelling with adultsupport.

-A couple changesmade to improvethe content andspelling with adultsupport.

-Few changes madeto improve thecontent and spellingwith adult support.

-Many changes madeto improve the contentand spelling with adultsupport.


4/15

Cortez 4

Student As T-chart


5/15

Cortez 5

Student As Incomplete Work


6/15

Cortez 6

Student Sample B


Rating: Developing Proficiency (DP)

Commentary:

Student B received a DP, which is Developing Proficiency. This student included anintroduction for her writing, which contained a question for her hook and her opinionstatement. The content of her body comprised with many inaccuracies. For example,she mentioned India starting Thanksgiving and every holiday is celebrated in everycountry. These information were not presented in the book therefore they are not

accurate. Throughout their independent work, student B did not ask any adult for helpwith either her content or for spelling.


Work on writing conventions (Capitalization, punctuation, grammar and spelling)

Improve introduction (suggest including a background information of the book)

Improve body paragraph making sure it includes three reasons and details tosupport each reason.

Practice more on creating conclusion in her writing


7/15

Cortez 7

Student B



3(Meets

expectation)


Writingproces

s:Pre-writing,Drafting

6+1trait=idea

s,voice

I can write an opinion piecethat includes an

introduction, my opinion,my reasons, details fromthe book that support myreason and a conclusion.(2.W.1: Write opinion piecesin which they introduce thetopic or book they are writingabout, state an opinion,supply reasons that supportthe opinion, use linking words(e.g., because, and also) toconnect opinion and reasons,and provide a concludingstatement or section.)



-Does not includeany: Introduction,reasons withdetails,conclusion.

-More than half ofthe opinion writing

is incomplete.



-A few details of theopinion writing are

incomplete.




-Accurate content of thwriting piece.



8/15

Cortez 8

Student B



3(Meetsexpectation)


WritingProcess:Revising,

Editing,

Publishing









9/15

Cortez 9

Student Bs T-chart


10/15

Cortez 10

Student Bs Final Draft


11/15

Cortez 11

Student Sample C


Rating: Exceeds Expectation

Commentary:

Student C received Exceed Expectation. He was able to include all 3 main parts ofwriting, which are introduction, body and conclusion. In his introduction, he composed aquestion that catches the readers attention. In the body, he stated all three reasons tosupport his opinion and included transition words to indicate the first reason, secondreason and last reason. Lastly, he put his writing to a close by asking a question.

Student C worked fast. He was able to reread his writing and make sure it makessense. Throughout this process, he also raised his hand many times to ask for help withspelling.


Work more with him in elaborating the details in his writing

Improve his introduction (included a hook and topic sentenceto improve Iwould suggest that he adds a background information of the book)

Improve his conclusion by suggesting to restate his topic sentence


12/15

Cortez 12

Student C



3(Meets

expectation)


Writingproces

s:Pre-writing,Drafting

6+1trait=idea

s,voice

I can write an opinionpiece that includes an

introduction, my opinion,my reasons, details fromthe book that support myreason and a conclusion.(2.W.1: Write opinion piecesin which they introduce thetopic or book they are writingabout, state an opinion,supply reasons that supportthe opinion, use linkingwords (e.g., because, andalso) to connect opinion andreasons, and provide aconcluding statement or

section.)



-Does not includeany: Introduction,reasons withdetails, conclusion.

-More than half ofthe opinion writing

is incomplete.



-A few details of theopinion writing are

incomplete.




-Accurate content of thwriting piece.



13/15

Cortez 13

Student C



3(Meetsexpectation)


Writin

gProcess:Revising,

Editin

g,Publishing









14/15


15/15

Cortez 15

Student Cs Final Draft

Documents

Writing Lesson: Student Sample