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Writing Effective Sentences

Coordination and SubordinationWe often combine sentences using "all-purpose" conjunctions such as and or so. However, this

practice often leads to ambiguity. Consider the following sentence.

Canada has worked as a youth counselor, and he understands what teens face.

he meaning of this sentence is not clear. he sentence could have two somewhat differentmeanings!

ecause Canada has worked as a youth counselor, he understands what teens face.

ecause Canada understands what teens face, he has worked as a youth counselor.

he first e#ample sentence links two ideas with a nd, a coordinating conjunction. he seconde#ample sentences link two ideas with because, a subordinating conjunction. hese e#amples showtwo ways of combining ideas in a sentence! a coordinating conjunction gives the ideas e$ualemphasis, and a subordinating conjunction emphasi%es one idea more than another.

Coordination Relates "Equal" Ideas

Coordination gives e$ual emphasis to different ideas in a sentence. Coordinating conjunctions & and,but, for, nor, or, so, and yet ' or a semicolon. & he semicolon is often used with a conjunctive adverbsuch as therefore, moreover, or however.'

he (os )ngeles *iver is full of trash and needs to be cleaned up.

We need to reduce emissions of to#ic gas, or cancer rates will c ontinue to climb.

We all want cleaner air ; however , solutions can be e#pensive.

Subordination Emphasizes "Main" Ideas

+ubordination allows you to distinguish between more important and less important information, orto bring in supporting detail. +ubordination also establishes logical relationships amongst ideas.

f course, the writer decides which ideas in a sentence are more important and which are lessimportant, and what the logical relationship is between ideas. he choice made by the writer can

produce varying effects as shown in the following e#amples &the part of the sentence receiving lessemphasis is shown in italics'!

he *heedlin Centers, which provide counseling and activities , are available for thewhole community.

he *heedlin Centers, which are available for the whole community , provide counselingand activities.

f the two sentences above, the second one probably comes closer to conveying the relationship between less and more important ideas. he parts in italics are called subordinate &or dependent'clauses, and are easily identified by the fact that unlike an independent clause, they cannot standalone as a sentence. +ubordinate clauses contain "subordinate" or less important information andtypically begin with one of the following subordinating conjunctions or relative pronouns!

after if though whilealthough in order that unless whoas once until whomas if since when whose

because so that where before than whether even though that which

Eliminating Choppy Style

ecause short sentences command the reader s a ttention, they should be used occasionally and onlyfor emphasis. any short sentences together give a starting a nd stopping rhythm to the prose, whatsome call a "choppy" style. +ubordination and coordination is the key to eliminating choppy style.

+entences can often be combined using coordinating conjunctions. /f the idea e#pressed by thesentence is not important enough to deserve its own sentence, then try to combine it with the

preceding or following sentence. /f the idea e#pressed is minor, put it into a subordinate clause.

choppy 0eoff borrows ike s basketball. He accidentally hits a man s car with the ball.he man gets mad at 0eoff. he ball is taken away. ecause he is worried about

losing ike s basketball, 0eoff tries to get the ball back f rom the man. ike findsout about the basketball. He threatens him. He returns it.

improved 0eoff borrows ike s basketball and accidentally hits a man s car with it. heowner of the car gets mad at 0eoff and takes the ball away. ecause he is worriedabout losing ike s basketball, 0eoff tries to get the ball back. When ike findsout, he threatens the man who then returns the ball.

Choosing bet een Coordination and Subordination

)s the above e#amples show, coordination and subordination produce very different results, and yetine#perienced writers often have difficulty deciding which is appropriate. 1eep in mind theseimportant points when choosing between coordination and subordination!

)re the ideas to be connected e$ually important2 /f so, use coordination.

/s one idea less important than the other2 /f so, use subordination. Can a coordinating conjunction & and, or, but ' clearly signal the relation between the

ideas2 /f so, use it. /f not, use subordination.

elow are some e#amples of improved sentences through the use of coordination and subordination.

efore )fter

utchie is known as a "man-child" and hedoesn t like to fight.

utchie, a "man-child," doesn t like to fight.

he less important idea has become an appositive phrase.

1evin fights the big man and the boysadmire his heart.

ecause 1evin fights the big man, the boys admirehis "heart."

he less important idea has become a subordinateclause beginning with Because .

Canada tried to fi# the broken %ipper on ayoung boy s jacket, and he failed so heshowed the boy how to hold his jacketclosed.

)fter failing to fi# the %ipper, Canada teaches theyoung boy how to hold his jacket closed.

he less important idea has been changed into agerund phrase beginning with the subordinator

After .

Canada offers five proposals, which he believes will reduce violence if they areenacted because the proposals providesolutions to the root causes of violence.

Canada offers five proposals, which if enacted willreduce violence. Canada argues that these proposals

provide solutions to the root causes of violence.

3#cessive subordination was eliminated by breakingup a long sentence into two shorter ones.

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!arallelism"/n matters of principle, stand like a rock4 in matters of taste, swim with the current"

5 homas 6efferson5

ften times we present two or more ideas as parallel to one a nother. y parallel we mean that theideas are e$ual in some way, such as in emphasis, in use, or in fact. 7arallelism is most common inlists, such as those denoting se$uences of related ac tivities!

/n the morning he gets dressed, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth, and then kisses his

mother goodbye.+he has learned to stand tall, hold her head steady, establish a rhythm with the dribble,and steady herself before shooting.

When ideas e#ist in a parallel structure, but are e#pressed in unparallel syntactical structures, theresult is an awkward sentence!

/n the morning he gets dressed, breakfast is then served, brushes his teeth, and kisses hismother goodbye.

+he has learned to stand tall, holding her head steady and establishing a rhythm with thedribble, all of which goes toward steadying herself bef ore shooting.

!arallel Structure E presses !arallel Ideas

+imple parallel structure joins ideas of e$ual importance. However, that relationship is not alwaysthe and relationship shown in the e#amples above. Coordinating conjunctions & and, but, or, so, and

yet ' and correlative conjunctions & either . . . or, both . . . and, neither . . . nor, not . . . but, notonly . . . but also, just as . . . so, and whether . . . or ' can be used to e#press more comple#relationships between ideas. /n other words, parallel does not mean that the ideas are the same, butrather that they are e$ual in importance. & his last sentence uses the correlative c onjunction not . . .but to create a para llel structure.' o create sentences using parallel structure, the parts of thesentence that e#press the ideas must share the same syntactical structure.

Coordinating Con#unctions $ and, but, or, so, and yet %

Here are some e#amples of parallel structures using coordinating conjunctions.

he Crime ill proposes to hire more police and build more prisons.

he police take criminals off the streets, but this security takes a toll on theneighborhood.

he public believes in more police and prisons and so fails to see other solutions.

8or most kids guns are a means of protection, yet for Canada they are a guarantee ofviolence.

Correlative Con#unctions $ either . . . or, both . . . and, neither . . . nor, not . . . but, notonly . . . but also, just as . . . so, and whether . . . or %

Here are some e#amples of parallel structures using correlative conjunctions.

Canada reali%es that either we deal with the violence in this country or we will lose ourdemocratic freedoms.

9iolence is the product of both genetics and environment.

he media is partially to blame for the y neither control the content of their pr oducts nor accept responsibility for the results.

Canada urges all of us to be heroes, not to suggest that we need to be like +uperman,utopia is an impossible dream, but to suggest that we are already +upermen and+uperwomen.

:outh programs offer community for teens, not only in the shared activities, but also inthe conversations, discussions, and fellowship.

Just as ike shows 0eoff how to negotiate the streets, so Canada teaches his studentshow to survive on the streets.

Whether we will con$uer violence, or violence con$uers us, is up to us.

his handout made e#tensive use of the f ollowing sources!Hacker, ;iane. A Writer's eference . +t. artin s, ?@@@.

(unsford, )ndrea. !he "veryday Writer . And ed. =ew :ork! edford>+t. artin s, ABB?.

Williams, 6oseph. #tyle$ !en %essons in &larity and race . th ed. =ew :ork! (ongman,ABBB.