Features of

Narrative Writing

CAUCASIA 2012

Unit Sequence

1. Voice • Develop a Personal Voice when

Writing

2. Point of View • Point of View – First and Third person

3. Structure of a Narrative • Planning your Narrative

• Orientation

• Complication

• Resolustion

• Sequence of Events

• Short Stories

4. Good Beginnings • Opening Paragraphs

• Examples of Story Beginnings

• The Opening Sentence

• Active Beginnings

5. Plot Development • Improve your Plot

• Plot Development

6. Good Endings

7. Good Character Description • Characterisation

• Character Profile

• Character Wheel

8. Good Setting Descritions • Planning a Setting

• Create a Setting

9. Sentence Structure • Add Phrases

• Join Short Sentences

• Vary sentence length

• Smooth Transitions

• Using Conjunctions

10.Appropriate Dialogue • Improve your Dialogue

11. Descriptive Language • Create Similes

• Create Metaphors

• Personification

• Onomatopoeia

• Impact

• Make every Word Count

• Create Word Pictures

• Focus on the Facts

• Replace Overworked Words

• Strong Verbs

• Don‟t Say…

Develop a Personal Voice when Writing VOICE shows your personality when writing. The writing has a sound different

from everyone else's. It has feeling and emotion so that it does not sound boring.

The reader should be able to tell if you are happy or sad. The writer should be

writing from the heart and bring the topic to life for the reader.

Funny

One day my mom took me to the circus. I

LOVE the circus. There are always some

very funny clowns. My favorite clown

there came up to me and told me he had

a secret for me. He got real close to me

and I thought he was going to whisper in

my ear when POW he squirted me in the

face with his water flower. I never

laughed so much. I had a great time at

the circus and will remember it for the

rest of my life.

Serious

It was the day for the big test. I studied

all week and knew I was ready. I was

still a little bit nervous, but knew once I

started I would be fine. The teacher

asked us to get some books out to

read when we were finished so we

wouldn't bother the other kids if we

finished early. The test was a

breeze. When I was done I started to

read my favorite book.

Mysterious

Yesterday when I was on my way to

the grocery store I saw a very strange

man. He had on a brown trench coat,

red hat and was carrying a purple

umbrella. I'm sure he was some kind

of investigator. As he began walking I

noticed he was just peeking over the

top of his coat and I could only see his

eyes. He was very sneaky

looking. I'm sure he was watching

somebody, I just wonder who!

Frightening

As a baseball let me tell you I have some

pretty frightening experiences. Imagine

being hit by a hard bat. OUCH, I want to

scream every time someone hits me.

Then for the flight through the air. You

can't believe how scary that is. I am

always asking myself three questions.

Will someone catch me? Will I fly over

the fence and land with a hard thud? Or

will I just go bouncing across the field?

The next time you are frightened, stop

a minute and think about how I feel.

That is the true meaning of frightened!

Have you ever seen two Martians

in a play before? Well you should

have been at the same show as I

was. I never laughed so hard in my

life. These two green creatures

were trying to back to their land

safely, but came across many

strange people. They never saw

humans before. They kept trying to

act like us. Well, that is where the

fun begins. You should go see the

Martian's On Earth if you get a

chance. It is your chance to sit

back and laugh!

Look at the picture below and reading the short paragraph.

Choose the voice that you think is being used in each paragraph.

Remember when writing with voice it can be:

Funny, Serious, Mysterious, Frightening

Halloween night was finally here. I

was very excited to trick or treating

with my friends. There is always

one house that everyone is afraid

to go to and this year we decided

we would go. We slowly crept up

the steps and tap lightly at the door

hoping nobody would hear us and

we could get out of there quickly.

Before we could turn around there

she was. There were bats flying

around her head, a frog in one

hand, a broom in the other hand

and a black cat next to her leg.

Before she could speak my friends

and I let out a scream and ran all

the way home. That is one house

we will NEVER go to again.

The first day of school is

always a tough one. You are

always waiting to see who is

in your class, what your

teacher will be like and how

your day will run. Usually

everyone is very quiet trying

to set a good example. We

all get out our books, sit in

our seats nice and tall and do

everything the teacher says

with very little noise.

I bet this is the teachers

favorite day of the year!

I will never forget my 5th

birthday. My mom

surprised me with a

clown to entertain my

friends and I. This clown

was very funny and had

many tricks up his

sleeve. When his show

was over he made

everyone at my party a

balloon animal. This was

a great day for me!

Exercise:

You and your friends were playing a ball game outside on the top quad. You

know that you are not allowed to kick balls on the quad. When the ball was

passed to you, you kicked it back. The ball didn’t go where you wanted it and

you broke Mrs. Jones’ office window.

Describe what happened to Mrs Jones, using a serious

voice, and then in a funny voice described to your

friends what happened.

Point of View When a writer begins a new story he must decide:"Who will tell my story?"

An author can tell a story from the first-person point of view.

OR

The author can use the third-person point of view

First-person Point of View

•A character in the story is the

narrator. This character is telling

the story. The narrator uses the

pronouns I, me and

we.

•In first-person point of view,

readers learn about events as the

narrator learns about them.

Third-person Point of View

•The story is being told by an

outside observer - someone who is

not in the story. The author uses

the pronouns he, she, and they.

•In third-person point of view, the

author can tell about the thoughts,

actions, and feelings of the other

characters.

First - Person Point of View

I walked home from school today with my friends.

We stopped for ice cream. I had vanilla. It's my

favorite. When I got up this morning I brushed

my teeth. Then I got dressed and ate my

breakfast.

Third - Person Point of View

Ted plays on a baseball team. He loves to play

with his team. He has a game next week. His

coach thinks he's a good baseball player.

The princess was locked in the tower. She had no

way to escape. She hoped that a prince would

rescue her. Her wish came true. He came and

took her to his castle.

Read each group of sentences.

Decide if it is written in first person or third person point of view.

The hunter had a cottage in the woods. He lived there all alone.

I ride the bus to each every day. I like to sit with my friends.

My friends and I went camping. I toasted marshmallows over the fire.

Joey likes to go swimming. Sometimes he asks his friend Sam to go with

him. He brings his ball to play with.

Frosty the snowman had a hat on his head. He also had a pipe and a carrot

nose. He held a shovel in his hand.

Point of View

The role of the narrator is vital as her or his bias can affect the way the story

develops.

Retell Little Red Riding Hood from two of these points of view:

• grandma

• Red Riding Hood‟s mother

• the wolf

• the wood cutter

Use the first person “I” when you write your two or three paragraphs.

Narrative Writing

In a good narrative, the reader relates closely to the story,

feels involved with the plot and often identifies with the

characters. A good story is hard to put down and the reader

feels a sense of loss when it ends. The features of a

narrative are:

the plot this is what happens

characters the people or animals in the story

the setting where the narrative takes place

theme the aurthors message

Planning your Narrative Brainstorm your ideas. This does not need to take to long and can be

added to.

Plan the path your writing will take. This plan is in a flow-chart form.

Opening Paragraphs

The opening paragraph of a narrative will

often give us an introduction to the

characters, the setting, or both and will often

give us a hint about the plot.

Another name for this is orientation. You

orientate your readers, give them an idea,

right from the start, that your text is going to

be worth reading.

Opening Sentences The Opening Sentence

To write an opening sentence which will grab the reader’s attention.

Stories can start using the following ways:

Dialogue: “Hands in the air this is a stick up!” he hollered roughly.

A statement: The school principal had to collect the boy from the roof.

Problem: David didn‟t know what to do: the school bully, Ted was

expecting him to hand over five doallars and all he had

was fifty cents.

Action: Without a moments hesitation, Maude Drinkwater lifted

the revolver and fired.

Description of people: Mr Sherman looked ordinary for someone who had just

solved one of the world‟s most difficult maths problems.

Description of place: The sky was the colour of dish water.

Description of time: As the clock struct twelve it echoed around the hall.

Write an opening sentence for one of these stories using the different

ways to start a story:

• A mysterious stranger

• An accident

• An act of bravery

• The arrival of a new pet

• A win

• A loss

Try two other ways of starting the same story.

Active Beginings In order to capture your reader‟s attention, the beginning of your story must be

interesting and lively enough to make your reader want to keep reading. One way

to do this is to begin with an action.

Directions: Revise each story beginning. Put your main character in the setting,

and have the character do something relevant to the story.

Example: One rainy day I went to the mall.

Revision: I splashed across the parking lot, yanked open the tall glass

door, dripping wet, stepped into the mall.

1. Hi. My name is Kate. This is a story about the time I went to the zoo.

Put Kate at the zoo doing something

2. This is a story about the time I built a robort in my basement.

Put yourself in the basement doing something

3. I will tell you about my adventure swimming at the lake

Put yourself at the lake doing something

Exercise 1: The Keeper

1. What is meant by unblemished?

2. What is an expedition?

3. Do you think this book is written about the past, the present or the future?

4. What were the clues that gave you the answer to question 3? Discuss the

reason.

5. Does the opening paragraph make you want to read on? Why/why not?

Exercise 2: Rocco

1. Is it daytime or night-time? How do you know?

2. Is the youth sleeping peacefully? Give reasons for your answer.

3. What do you think the story is going to be about? Making reference to the

text, give reasons for your answer.

Here is an orientation that gives a setting.

Exercise 3: Uncles Three at Kamahi The following extract also starts with a setting.

1. Is the book set in New Zealand? Give a reason for your answer.

2. Is the setting in the past, the present or the future? Give a reason for your

answer.

3. What is meant by “the clemantis was shining in start palaces in the bush”?

Exercise 4: Opening Paragraphs Choose a title and opening sentence from the list below. Use the sentence

beginnings to write an opening paragraph which will orientate a reader into

your narrative.

Plot A plot starts with an introduction to the narrative. A

plot will include problems or crises and how these

are solved, and the conclusion to the narrative. If it

is a good plot, there will be situayions which happen

throughout the narrative thaat will make you want to

read on.

What happens in a novel has been carefully planned

by the author. Some authors use a flow chart to plan

their work. Others might write a brief overview of

events noting each crisis, climax or problem and how

each will be resolved.

Improve your Plot

Who are your story‟s main characters?

What are their main needs?(motives)

Who or what tries to stop or thwart them from

achieving their needs? (conflict)

Do the characters succeed or fail in achieving

their goals?

How do they succeed or fail? (resolution)

Exercise 1: Plot Development The folowing extract from The Keeper is an example of a crisis in a plot.

Plot development: The Keeper 1. What is the setting in this extract?

2. Name the people who seemed to be present.

3. Where were Jean and the narrator:

a. at the beginning of the text?

b. when they saw the tiger?

4. How do you think the group felt after this crisis?

This text gives a good example of the rise and fall of a crisis within the

plot. There is a build up with all the action of trying to get out of the way

of the tiger and it leaping, then the feeling of relief when the animal is

dead. Short quick sentences: “Then it looked at me. It did not see me.”

keep the feeling of excitement and suspense going.

This is how the plot of The Keeper might look in graph form.

The plot may have many parts to it. It may have subplots within the main

plot. Whether the plot is action-packed or slow and leisurely, a good plot

will keep the reader interested.

A crisis is a turning-point, a moment of danger or suspense. A climax is

the highest point in a series of events. There is often a build-up to a big

climax near the end of the narrative.

Characterisation A person‟s appearance, their posture and ways of walking, their hobbies, the way

in which they express their emotions, their secret wishes, fears, prejudices and

religious beliefs are all pointers to their character.

We develop character through the following:

Dialogue what the characters say and how the say it

Action what the characters do

Reactions how the characters think and feel in different situations

Relationships how the character interact with each other, and how others view

them

Crisis a turning point in the story for the character; the way in which

the characters respond in a crisis revaels true character

Exercise

Write 4-6 sentences, using the „Show, don‟t tell‟ method, which reveal the

characters of the following people:

• a greedy child

• a stressed teacher

• a bossy bus driver

• an impatient explorer

• a terrified airline passenger

• a mother trying to get her reluctant todler to eat

Characters Narrative Characters may be people of animals. Although they are imaginary, the

author may have modelled their character on people they know. A reader can

usually identify with characters, either through a character‟s personality, actions or

experiences, or physical appearance.

Characters in a book may be built up over several chapters with the reader getting

an impression of their personality through actions, reactions and relationships to

other characters.

Character Wheels

Planning a Setting

Things to think about

These settings all paint a picture for the

reader. Think carefully about which style

of scene setting appeals to you.

Do you prefer to be given a clear

description?

Do you prefer imagery where the writer‟s

use of words lets you use your

imagination?

Do you prefer a character in the text to

help establish the mood of the setting by

talking about it?

Create a setting

Write a setting that vividly portrays the background to the plot.

The setting is where the action is happening and when the action occurs ie.

Time of day, month, year.

Choose one of the following and write a short description of it. The description

should include:

time of day,

the weather,

the sights,

sound and smells.

•The beach

•Inside a restaurant

•A city street

•A favourite park

•A swamp

Add Phrases Phrases add information and interest to short, dull sentences.

To add an adjectival phrase, you can ask questions like „how‟, „when‟, or „where‟.

Adjectival phrases: The boy was a culprit.

The boy with a cheeky grin was a culprit.

Adverbial phrases: We skipped.

We skipped across the playground.

We skipped across the playground with great abandon

after our win in soccer.

Add phrases to:

1. The girl cried.

2. The door opened.

3. They killed his parents.

4. We worked.

Join Short Sentences Sometimes short sentences can be combined to create longer, more interesting

sentences.

Example

First Draft: The rosella was feeding in the tree. It was attacked by

another bird. It flew away

Revised: Attacked by another bird as it fed in the tree, the rosella

flew away.

Rewrite the following examples to turn each example into one interesting sentence.

1. It was Sunday. The cricket match was cancelled. The pitch had been ruined by

rain

2. I was not pleased with my sister Natalie. She scribbled on my homework. I told

mom.

3. I‟ve been working all day. I‟m tired. I think I‟ll take a rest.

4. Every night for dinner we have boiled rice. I don‟t like boiled rice. It is my least

favourite food.

Vary Sentence Length

When you vary your sentence lengths, it creates a pleasant rhythm.

A story can become boring if all the sentences are the same length.

Example

Listen to what is happening. These sentences have five words. Here are

another five words. Five more words to follow it. The sentences begin to

drone. There is no variety here. It’s like a stuck record. It goes on and on.

1. Write a five sentence story; the first sentence should have one word, the

second two words, the third three words and so on.

2. Write a five sentence story with a different number of words in each

sentence.

3. Study sentence lenghts in a page from a published story.

Smooth Transitions

One way an author can get the reader‟s attention is by using pharases

that we call “red flags.” red flags, such as all of a sudden or the next

thing I knew, indicate a new twist in the plot. Red flags can replace

predictiable words and phrases, like next and then.

Read the sample sentences below. Create your own “Red Flag Menu” by filling

in the blanks.

Suddenly I manage to escape from the monster.

Just then I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

I manage to escape from the monster.

Improve Your Dialogue

What is Dialogue?

It's the conversation that takes

place between characters in a

story.

You can tell more about your

characters' thoughts and feelings

if you include dialogue in your

stories.

Let's add some dialogue to that story.

Sharing a room with her sister wasn't always fun. Kristi was

tired of always having to clean up their room.

"Ashley, you've left your clothes on the floor again! I'm not

picking them up for you this time," said Kristi.

"I'm sorry, Kristi, I don't mean to be a slob!" joked Ashley.

"I just don't notice the mess--really! I guess it just doesn't

bother me.“

"Well, it bothers me! You know it does," said Kristi.

"I'll try harder, I guess," sighed Ashley. "But I can't promise

anything. Neatness just isn't my thing!"

Let's look at a story without dialogue.

Sharing a room with her sister wasn't always

fun. Kristi was tired of always cleaning up after her

sister Ashley. Just because they shared a room, that

doesn't mean they had to share the mess! Ashley was

always leaving dirty dishes on her desk, and there

were always dirty clothes under the bed. Kristi had

tried to talk to Ashley about cleaning up the mess, but

somehow talking didn't help.

Your audience will have a better understanding of Kristi and Ashley after

reading the conversation that takes place between them. It's more

interesting to read...AND...it helps to understand how both Kristi and

Ashley FEEL .

Dialogue lets you tell so much more about your characters.

It allows your readers to understand your characters more too.

Reminder When writing dialogue you must remember to:

1. Use Quotation Marks.

2. Identify who is speaking.

3. Indent each time the speaker changes.

4. Use commas correctly.

Read the following story:

Paul and his dad were planning their first fishing

trip of the year. Paul wasn't sure what to bring

with him, so he asked his dad. His dad told him

to bring his pole. His dad would bring

everything else. His dad also told him to dress

warmly because it's always cold in the morning

near the lake. Paul told his dad he was excited

about going and would have trouble sleeping.

Rewrite the story adding dialogue.

Here's a sample of what your story might look like.

Notice the quotation marks and commas.

Check your story to make sure you have the correct punctuation.

Paul and his dad were planning their first fishing trip of the year.

"What should I pack, Dad?" said Paul. "I don't want to forget

anything."

"Just bring your pole, Paul. I've got everything else we'll need already

in the car," said Dad. "Mom's already packed us a big lunch. We want

to get an early start!"

"Should I bring a sweatshirt?" questioned Paul.

"Oh, it's always cool in the morning near the lake. You'll need more

than a sweatshirt. You need to make sure you dress warm."

Paul headed up to bed.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep, Dad. I'm too excited!"

Create Similes

Complete the following:

1. The sun sank in the west like…

2. The baby opened its mouth for food like…

3. When he left, it was quiet…

4. The shadow hung on the wall like…

5. His words were as painful as…

6. The sun on the water was like…

7. On roller skates she looked as awkward as…

8. The sky was as blue as…

9. The clouds rolled across the sky like..

10. After our huge dinner of fish and chips, we felt like…

LEARNING INTENTION: To liken something to something else, by using

similes.

Examples: My attention was as far away as love on a

battlefield.

Her skin is pale as eggshells.

METAPHORS

A metaphor is like a simile. That's because it is a comparison that is made between things, which is not always likely or obvious. We don‟t use „like‟ or „as‟ in a metaphor.

We often use metaphors without realising it. For instance, when we say that your parents 'bark a command' at you, you are comparing them to a dog, and hence engaging in metaphor!

Other Metaphors

A heart of stone

He has the heart of a lion You are the sun in my sky You are the light in my life She is my East and my West, my compass. You had better pull your socks up Love is a lemon - either bitter of sweet

Create Metaphors

Try to write three metaphors for each of the following examples:

the sun an apple

clouds cheese

a cat the ocean

fog anger

LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that a metaphor is a word picture in

which the writer replaces the thing to be described with another image. It makes

a more direct and vivid comparison to a simile.

Examples: The moon is a pearl from a necklace.

The moon is a cold, cheesy pizza.

The moon is earth‟s halo

Personification

Give the following items human characteristics:

wind refugee camp

night cold

moon war

LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that in personification, the non-human is

identified with the human or given human characteristics.

Examples: The steel beam clenched its muscles.

Clouds limped across the sky.

The pebbles on the path were grey with grief.

Cricket has been good to me.

The New Zealand dollar had a quiet month.

Life dealt him a heavy blow.

Onomatopoeia

Write onomatopoeia for the following:

gun sound wind

bomb tank

planes walking in snow

LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that Onomatopoeia is found in a group

of words that attempts to replicate certain sounds.

We have words like woof-woof, or bow wow, tweet-tweet, and cock-a-doodle

doo. However, these words are still the creation of the human mind.

Examples: crackle, splat, ooze, squish, boom.

The tyres whirr on the road.

The pitter-patter of soft rain.

The mud oozed and squished through my toes.

IMPACT Show Don’t Tell

To write what is happening in the story without explicitly stating it.

Telling sentence: Joe was old.

Showing sentence: Joe creacked when he moved, his arthritic limbs

bowed beneath the weight of his eighty years

Below are some telling sentences which simply state facts. Transform them into

showing sentences:

1. It was cold on the beach.

2. Dad was angry.

3. My friend is a great rugby player.

4. The house needed repairs.

5. The car braked suddenly.

Make every word count

Rewrite these sentences, eliminating all the unnecessary words to make each

sentence more precise.

1. He looked at Mike. Mike was his brother.

2. The people that I would like to tell you about are my father and mother.

3. He let me know that the contest the Bulldogs were in resulted in a win for the

Bulldogs.

4. In the vase were some daffodils. The vase of daffodils was on the table.

5. This recipe deals with and describes one method used to attain the desired

result in the preparation of scrambled eggs.

You can improve your writing by removing unnecessary words. It is possible to

eliminate unnecessary words but still retain the same information.

First Draft The idea was thought of by Jim at four o‟clock early in

the morning. (14 words)

Revised Jim‟s idea came at 4 am. (6 words)

Create Word Pictures We can add details to a sentence to make an image more vivid and life-

like.

Bland The man had a hairy face.

Interesting The hair on Mr Twit‟s face didn‟t grow smooth and

matted as it does on most hairy-faced men. It

grew in spikes that struck out straights like bristles of

a nail brush.

Rewrite these sentences using details to make the image live.

1. The room was dark

2. The girl ran

3. His dog was unwashed and smelly

4. The lady next door is a busy body.

Focus on the Facts We can add on sufficient information to help the reader understand better.

Example A boat came to the island.

What kind of boat was it?

Who was aboard the boat?

What were the feelings of the passengers about reching

the island?

When did the boat arrive?

What was the purpose of the visit?

Read the following sentences. What questions would you ask the writer to

ensure that all the essential information was given.

1. I don‟t like school.

2. My aunt is in hospital.

3. We like going out for dinner.

Select one of these sentences. Rewrite them with sufficient information.

Replace Overworked Words

For my birthday I got lots of presents.

It was a lovely day.

We got off the train at Wellington.

My sister got fifty dollars a week.

In the war, lots of men got injured.

Feeling annoyed, the teacher went out of the room.

We had a nice holiday in Dunedin where we met many nice people.

LEARNING INTENTION: To think of as many different ways as you can to

express the same idea.

Example: Mary is a good person.

Mary is a lovely person.

Mary is a wonderful person.

Mary is a superb person.

Mary is a delightful person.

Strong Verbs By using strong verbs we can express movement and help to create a picture in

the reader‟s mind.

Well-chosen verbs can give writing power.

With throttles open all the way, big bad bruce and his gang charge down the

highway on their Harleys. Bruce blasts along the highway at top speed. Icy

wind whacks into his face. He whacks it back, twice as hard. He zooms around

corners and shoots up the straight. He pushes his bike to the max.

from Big Bad Bruce by Dianne Bates

Write a description of the action in each of thes pharases using strong verbs.

• a man kicking a door

• a lion stalking prey

• a rabbit digging a hole

• a getaway car speeding around a corner

• a dog chasing a cat

Using a Thesaurus A thesaurus extend your word power.

declared exclaimed

questioned

replied repeated bellowed

shouted responded whispered asked