Writing a Thesis…for HISTORY

Markville SSHistory

What is a …

A thesis statement:1. An argumentative statement

that the essay / paper will PROVE2. One sentence3. Contains three CONCRETE

arguments /subtopics4. Parallel Structure5. Academic and concise language

CONCRETE: something that you can drop on your foot (not abstract)

FOR EXAMPLE: Why was Vimy Ridge

Successful?ABSTRACT CONCRETE

-planning by Arthur Currie

-brought a sense of nationhood to Canada

-Canada did what Britain and France could not- they took the Ridge from the Germans

-training time

-sense of unity between Canadians

-heavy artillery and large quantities of ammunition

-4 Canadian Divisions

-system of tunnels

- 3-D Model

- heavy bombardment (3 weeks)

-strategy of ‘creeping barrage’

- aerial maps / photographs

Let’s Practice… what is wrong with

this ‘thesis’? Example 1:

BATMAN IS A HERO LIKE SPIDERMAN.

What is wrong with this ‘thesis’?

Example 2:

BATMAN IS A BETTER HERO THAN SPIDERMAN BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME AND POWERFUL.

Parallel Structure Parallel structure involves putting together

elements of similar structure to achieve balanced writing

ExampleNot Parallel: The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and his motivation was low.Parallel: The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and lacked motivation in daily work.

Examples of Parallel Structure

Not Parallel: There was not a winner in WWI because of there were many deaths on both sides, land was destroyed because of the trenches and the war costs lots of money.

Improved: There was not a winner in WWI because of heavy losses in lives, land and money.

Parallel: There was not a winner in WWI because of the high number of casualties, high devastation to land and high costs to the economy.

What is wrong with this ‘thesis’?

Example 3:

BATMAN IS A BETTER HERO THAN SPIDERMAN BECAUSE HE IS FAST AND UNDERSTANDS THE VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE AND STRIVES TO PROTECT IT.

TASK 

In small groups, compile a list of CONCRETE OBJECTS (arguments) to prove why Batman is better

What about this thesis?

Batman is a better Superhero than Spiderman because he has billions of dollars, a bat cave and an amazing car .

* Notice the CONCRETE arguments allow for abstract ideas:

a) Billions of dollars = accessb) Bat Cave = anonymityc) Amazing car = power

* Parallel structure???

SMALL GROUP CHALLENGE #1

Pick one of the following popular culture topics and create a thesis statement with “concrete” arguments.  

Share as a class (gallery walk)

- Facebook vs Twitter- iPhone vs Samsung- Texting vs Voice Calling- One Direction vs. Justin Bieber- Family Guy vs Simpsons- Gale vs Peeta (Hunger Games)

SMALL GROUP CHALLENGE #2

Read the following passage and create a thesis statement with “concrete” example for arguments.

Trench warfare gave troops protection from enemy fire and artillery with the development of large trenches along fighting lines. Poison gas was first used at the Battle of Ypres to defend soldiers making an attack on the enemy. The gas acted as a smoke screen, hiding soldiers while attacking the enemy. The gas also had devastating effects on the enemy, often burning their skin, damaging their eyes or killing them all together. Gas masks, once developed, proved to be an effective solution to gas attacks. Tanks also made their first appearance in World War I. Tanks were fitted with guns, armour plating and caterpillar tracks that would enable the tank to cross an eight-foot trench. Other technological developments during World War I included, the practical submarine, machineguns, mass quantities of long-range artillery, effective hand grenades and mortars, and barbed wire.  

SMALL GROUP CHALLENGE #3

Gallery Walk (move three computers to the right)

Examine and rewrite the thesis in a different way  (no change can be made to the intent of thesis or the three arguments)