WPR28831 July 2014 Review date by: June 2016

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Bereavement Support

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We would like to off er you our sincere sympathy on the sad loss of your family member or friend.

This booklet aims to provide some useful help and advice during the early days following your bereavement.

Please do not hesitate to ask ques ons if you are uncertain about a ma er, our staff will always be pleased to help.

Contents Page

The immediate prac cal necessi es ....................................................................................... 3

Registering a death ......................................................................................................................................... 4

Arranging the funeral .................................................................................................................................. 5

Returning money belonging to the deceased ............................................................ 5

Spiritual care ............................................................................................................................................................ 6

Tissue dona on ................................................................................................................................................... 6

If the death occurred at

Doncaster Royal Infi rmary ............................................................................................ 7

Montagu Hospital – Mexborough ...................................................................... 8

Bassetlaw Hospital .................................................................................................................. 9

People to inform ................................................................................................................................................. 11

Further informa on and support ................................................................................................ 12

Contact details of agencies that can help ........................................................................ 14

Feedback form ...................................................................................................................................................... 15

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The immediate practical necessities Following the death of a relative or friend in hospital there are certain formalities to which you must attend. There are several hospitals within the Trust which operate slightly different processes relating to bereavement services. Please see pages within this booklet relevant to the hospital where the death of your relative or friend occurred. However the remainder of this booklet applies following all deaths.Medical Certificate of Cause of DeathThis is a certificate that the Doctor issues. It informs the Registrar of Births Marriages and Deaths what to write on the Death Certificate. You will need this Medical Certificate of Cause of Death before you can register the death. You will collect this at your appointment with the hospital. Deaths occurring within 24 hours of admission or in the Accident & Emergency DepartmentThese deaths are often sudden or unexpected. This will mean that the Coroner must be contacted by the Doctor. The Coroner is an independent judicial officer who is required by law to investigate the cause and circumstances of unexpected or unnatural deaths. Depending upon the circumstances, the Coroner may order a post-mortem examination to help establish the cause of death.The Coroner will either allow the Doctor to complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death and you will be able to register the death or she/he will choose to investigate by post mortem, and/or inquest. If the post-mortem examination shows that the death is due to an unnatural event the Coroner must hold an inquest. The coroner’s office will provide you with more information if this does occur.In some circumstances the Coroner will allow the GP of your relative/friend to complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. In some instances, the hospital doctor may ask you for your consent to undertake a hospital post-mortem. This may help to increase the understanding of the disease process and may lead to improvement in care for other in the future. Unlike the Coroner’s post-mortem, you can refuse to allow this. If you are asked for your consent, you will be provided with all the detailed information to help you make an informed decision. If you do agree to a post-mortem, you will be asked to sign a document giving your written permission.

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Registering the deathThe death has to be registered generally within five working days of the death, whether with the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death or at the direction of the Coroner. Deaths occurring at Doncaster Royal Infirmary be registered at the Doncaster Registrars office. Doncaster Registrar of Birth Marriage and DeathsThe Registrar’s Office, Elmfield Park, South Parade, Doncaster, DN1 2EB.Telephone number: 01302 364922.Opening hours: 8.45am to 4.00pm.Deaths at Montagu Hospital can be registered at the Mexborough Registrar’s office. Mexborough Registrar of Birth Marriage and DeathsCouncil Offices, Main Street, Mexborough, S64 5LU.Telephone number: 01302 735705.Opening hours: 9.30am to 12.30pm.Deaths a Bassetlaw Hospital can be registered at any of the Nottinghamshire Registrars with the exception of the Nottingham City office.There is one telephone number for all of these offices.To book an appointment please contact Nottinghamshire Registration Services on: 0300 5008080.Worksop Registrar of Birth Marriage and DeathsThe Registrar’s Office, Memorial Avenue, Worksop, S80 1BP.Retford Registrar of Birth Marriage and DeathsThe Registrar’s Office, Chancery Lane, Retford, DN22 6DG.Opening hours: Available from Nottinghamshire Registration Service.The person registering the death must be one of the following:• A relative of the deceased being present during the last illness or

present at the death.• A person present at the time of death.• A person making the funeral arrangements.The registrar will ask you for the following information about the deceased:• The date and place of death and the deceased usual residential address• Full names and surname (and maiden name if applicable)• Date and place of birth – town and country, if born abroad• Occupation and the name and occupation of husband, wife, civil partner

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• Whether he/she was receiving a state pension state benefit or allowance from public funds

• If the deceased was married or in a civil partnership, the date of birth of the surviving widow(er)/civil partner

• If possible, the deceased medical card, birth and marriage certificates should be taken to the Registrars office when registering the death

The Registrar will give you:• Form BD 8 which is called the Certificate of Registration or Notification

of Death (white form). Please read and fill in the form. This form is to cancel pensions or

benefits. An addressed envelope will be provided for you to use to send off the form. There is no charge for this certificate.

• The Certificate for Burial or Cremation (a green form). This allows for the burial or cremation to take place. There is no charge for this certificate.

• Certified copies of Death Certificate. It is advisable to obtain several copies of the Death Certificate as banks,

solicitors and other agencies may all require original certified copies rather than photocopies. This will save you having to return to the Registrars to obtain further copies at a later date. There will be a charge for each certificate.

Arranging the funeralYou can begin to arrange the funeral as soon as you feel ready to do so. You do not have to wait until you have the Medical certificate of Cause of Death or have registered the death before you contact a Funeral Director. However, if the Coroner is involved, this may affect the date of the funeral and therefore the Funeral Director may advise you not to make firm arrangements until you receive all the relevant certificates and forms. The Funeral Director will advise you about this when you first contact them.The Funeral Director will need the Certificate of Burial or Cremation (the green form issues by the Registrar) before he/she can make the final arrangements.Returning money belonging to the deceasedAny money belonging to the deceased is not held within the hospital. It is passed to the Trust’s finance department who put the money into the bank. Therefore, any money belonging to the deceased will be returned to you by the finance department in the form of a cheque. The Director of

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finance will need to see a Will or Letter of Administration, or will require a form of indemnity to be completed prior to authorising the release of the money. The Bereavement Officer will assist you with this process. If you are in receipt of certain benefits you may be able to get help with the cost of the funeral. Please contact your local Department of Work and Pensions office or look on www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/dwp1027.pdf to find out whether you qualify to get help. If you do qualify for help, your Funeral Director will be able to help you to make a claim. Returning property and valuablesAny property not returned to you by the ward staff will be given to you by the Bereavement Service. You will be asked to check the property and sign to say you have received it. If you have any questions about the property do not hesitate to mention it to the member of staff. Spiritual careThe hospital Chaplains are available to support you and your family, whether you belong to a particular faith community or not. The Chaplains can also help if you wish to speak to someone of your own religion. They can say prayers or offer time and space to listen and support. There are also chapels and prayer rooms on most Trust sites. A Chaplain is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Chaplains can be contacted on:For Doncaster Royal Infirmary or Montagu hospital telephone 01302 366666 ext 6484 or 01302 381488.Bassetlaw hospital 01909 500990 ext 2846 or 01909 502846.Tissue donation Corneas (part of the eye) can be retrieved up to 24 hours after a death has occurred (3 years old or upwards) and heart valves up to 48 hours (0 – 60 years old). If you think the deceased person carried a donor card, or expressed a wish to donate tissue, please advise the Bereavement Officer.Patient Advice & Liaison Service (PALS)The staff within the PALS service can give you support by helping with any concerns you may have, providing information for you or pointing you in the right direction to get advice or support. The PALS staff will endeavour to resolve concerns you may have or offer advice on how to make a formal complaint if they cannot assist with the resolution of your concern. The staff within the PALS team are also there to support you in cases where the Coroner is involved. To contact the PALS office Tel: 01302 553140 or write to the PALS Manager, Doncaster Royal Infirmary, Armthorpe Road, Doncaster, South Yorkshire, DN2 5LT.

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If the death occurred at Doncaster Royal Infirmary The telephone number of the Bereavement Service is 01302 553168.The office is open between 8.00am and 4.00pm, Monday to Friday excluding bank holidays. We apologise if you are connected to an answer phone when you call, or the line is engaged for long periods. The line is often very busy. Please leave a message. The Bereavement Officer will respond to you as soon as possible.There are 3 Bereavement Officers within the service at Doncaster. These Bereavement Officers are supported by volunteers who have specialist training to deal with bereaved relatives and friends. A Bereavement Officer will contact you by telephone after 10.00am but before 12.00 noon the next working day following the bereavement. They will provide you with directions to their office.The Bereavement Officers will:• Issue you with the Medical Certificate of cause of Death.• Return any property and valuables that you have not already collected

from the hospital. You will be asked to sign a property form. You will be given a copy of this form.

• Arrange for you to pay your last respects (if you wish to).• Ensure you know the procedures for registering the death and arranging

a funeral.• Offer advice, support and sign posting as appropriate.Paying your last respectsWhen a death occurred within the hospital you can either pay your last respects at the hospital, alternatively you may wish to wait until the deceased is transferred to the chapel of rest at your chosen funeral directors.You can make an appointment to pay your last respects at the hospital by contacting A&E or the ward on which your relative/friend was cared for before they died. You can contact the ward via switchboard on 01302 366666 and ask to be connected to the appropriate ward.Other useful contacts Doncaster Registrar of Birth Marriage and Deaths The Registrar’s Office, Elmfield Park, South Parade, Doncaster, DN1 2EB. Tel: 01302 364922. Opening hours: 8.45am to 4.00pm.Doncaster Coroner’s OfficeThe Crown Court, College Road, Doncaster, DN1 3HS.Tel: 01302 321581 or 320844.

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If the death occurred at Montagu HospitalThe telephone number of the Bereavement Service is 01709 321111.The office is open between 9.00am and 4.00pm, Monday to Friday excluding bank holidays. We apologise if you are connected to an answer phone when you call, or the line is engaged for long periods. The line is often very busy. Please leave a message. Someone from the Bereavement service will respond to you as soon as possible.The Bereavement service is one of the roles held within the General Office at Montagu Hospital. A member of staff will contact you by telephone after 09.00am but before 10.30am the next working day following the bereavement. They will provide you with directions to their office.The staff in the General Office will:• Issue you with the Medical Certificate of cause of Death.• Return any property and valuables that you have not already collected

from the hospital. You will be asked to sign a property form. You will be given a copy of this form.

• Arrange for you to pay your last respects.• Ensure you know the procedures for registering the death and arranging

a funeral.• Offer advice, support and sign posting as appropriate.Paying your last respectsWhen a death occurred within the hospital you can either pay your last respects at the hospital, alternatively you may wish to wait until they are transferred to the chapel of rest at your chosen funeral directors.You can make an appointment to pay your last respects at the hospital by contacting the Bereavement Service, General Office on 01709 321111 between 09.00am and 4.30pm - Monday to Friday excluding bank holidays). If you wish to pay your last respects at any other time please contact the ward where your relative/friend died and explain your wishes.Other useful contactsMexborough Registrar of Birth Marriage and DeathsCouncil Offices, Main Street, Mexborough, S64 5LU.Tel: 01302 735222. Opening hours: 9.30am – 12.30pm.Doncaster Coroner’s OfficeThe Crown Court, College Road, Doncaster, DN1 3HS.Tel: 01302 321581 or 320844.

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If the death occurred at Bassetlaw HospitalYou will need an appointment to come to the Hospital to collect the Medical Cause of Death Certificate. As soon as the Certificate has been completed by the Doctor, you will receive a telephone call from the Bereavement Care staff who will advise you of the date and time of your appointment. Please be aware that the Certificate may not be available immediately, however, you will be contacted as soon as the Certificate is available for collection.When you arrive at the Hospital for your appointment, please go to the Main Reception. You will be directed to the Bereavement Care office.If you need to speak with someone before your appointment, you can ring either The General Office on 01909 502753 or The Bereavement Care Office on 01909 502779. Any messages left will be responded to as quickly as possible.The Bereavement Care service and The General Office at Bassetlaw Hospital work together, with the support of specialist trained volunteers, to deal with all aspects connected to the death of a patient.The Bereavement Care service will:• Issue you with the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death• Return any property and valuables that you have not already collected

from the hospital. You will be asked to sign a property form and will be given a copy of the form.

• Ensure you know the procedures for registering the death and arranging the funeral.

• Office advice, support and sign posting as appropriate.• Provide information regarding additional Bereavement Care support and

availability of Bereavement Care Support Groups.Paying your last respectsWhen a death occurred within the hospital you can either pay your last respects at the hospital, alternatively you may wish to wait until the deceased is transferred to the chapel of rest at your chosen funeral directors.You can make an appointment to pay your last respects at the hospital by contacting either the Ward where the patient died on 01909 500990 or the Mortuary on 01909 502814. Alternatively speak with the Bereavement Care staff when you attend your appointment.

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Other useful contacts Nottinghamshire Registration ServicesRegistration appointments are available at any of the Nottinghamshire Registration Services, with the exception of Nottingham City, on 0300 500 8080. Opening times: Available from Nottinghamshire Registration Service.

Coroner’s OfficeThe Old Council House, Old Market Square, Nottingham, NG1 2DTTelephone 0115 841 5553

Bassetlaw Bereavement CareOffering support and an opportunity to talk through your feelings in confidence.

Bereavement Support Groups also available.Telephone: 01909 502779 – 24 hours answer phone.

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People to InformA number of local council and government departments can be informed through the use of the Tell Us Once Service, which is offered at the time of registering a death. When someone dies there are many organisations to contact. Below is a list which may be helpful:

Service Things that may need Date done to be returnedFamily Doctor Hospitals other than Doncaster & Bassetlaw HospitalsNHS Foundation Trust Inland Revenue National Insurance papers Benefits Agency Payment books Place of work (occupational pension) Solicitor Bank, Giro, credit cards, Bank books, giro cheques, building society pension books, credit/debit cards Insurance companies Driving licence centre (DVLA) Driving licence Utility companies (gas electricity, water, telephone) Council Tax office Social Services (home helps, carers, care home) Royal Mail Milk and newspaper deliveries Passport Office Passport Landlord, Housing Department or Mortgage lender Local housing benefit Schools, college or university Library service Library books Cancel any appointments Community equipment service Equipment Priest, Vicar, Minister or leader of other faiths Executors of the estate (Will)

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Further information and supportSomeone you care for has died. Bereavement can be a distressing time which most of us will encounter at some time in our lives. Family members and carers often have a variety of feelings after the death of someone they have cared for. These may include one or more of the following; exhaustion, apathy, depression, sense of relief, confusion, disbelief, numbness, shock, guilt or anger. These are all a natural part of the grieving process. The following information aims to help you to understand a little about what you may be going through and give you some guidance on how to help yourself and access help from others.Bereavement is often a subject that is not openly talked about; therefore some people may have very little understanding as to what is ‘normal’ and how to cope with the changes that are taking place.Every person is unique and their relationship with the deceased will also have been unique, however, there are often some similarities in the emotions we experience following the death of someone close to us.Exhaustion and physical reactions are common. Changes in eating and sleeping patterns often occur. Lack of sleep can result in feeling mentally exhausted and lead to difficulties in concentrating. Physical pains and anxiety are a normal reaction to loss, however, they are distressing and you may wish to speak with your GP if the feelings persist.Apathy and depression. Feelings of hopelessness and despair are understandable reactions and it is important that you talk to someone who you can trust. Sometimes it is beneficial to talk through these feelings with someone experienced in bereavement care. There are local agencies that can help you; some numbers are included in this booklet.Relief following a long and painful illness is a natural emotion, it is not unusual to feel relief that the suffering is at an end.Confusion. People talk of their emotions being all over the place, and often describe it as an emotional roller coaster. Everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Everyone will cope in a different way, some by throwing themselves into activity whilst others need time to sit and think. It is often difficult to concentrate on the task at hand and it is essential that you accept this as a normal part of the grieving pattern.

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Disbelief. It may feel as though the death has not really occurred. As though some terrible mistake has been made and it has not really happened. The difficulties of learning to live in a world without the person you cared about is sometimes too enormous a task for us to take in during the early days following the death. It is often useful to talk with someone about how you are feeling.Numbness and shock may last for longer than we would expect. The shock and numbness often cushion our emotions, if you acknowledge all the feelings it may be overwhelming.Guilt and anger are powerful feelings and the anger may be directed at the deceased for leaving you or may be directed at others who you feel could be blamed. You may regret words or actions or indeed wish you had said more.All of the above, and indeed a lot more, are the ‘normal’ reactions to the traumatic event that you have recently experienced. There is no one way of coping. We are all individuals and shared a unique and individual relationship with the deceased; it is often useful to share your experiences with other people, however, it is useful to remember that other people’s experiences will not necessarily be the same as yours.Children also will deal with the loss in their own individual way, and it is quite common for their emotions to change rapidly from being inconsolable to asking ‘can I go out and play now?’ Sometimes a close family member or friend may be able to assist with explanations of some of the practical as well as the emotional, and it is important that all information is clear and age appropriate. Discussions surrounding attendance at funerals need to ensure that the child has accurate information before asking them to make a decision on whether or not they wish to attend. If the decision is taken for the child not to attend the official funeral ceremony, there are a number of ways in which an informal ‘ceremony’ can be arranged to assist them in saying their goodbyes. Careful use of words and expressions is essential to minimise the child’s misunderstanding; avoidance of expressions such as ‘gone to sleep’ is recommended to avoid future problems.Please ask for help if you feel that it may assist you, as mentioned before there are bereavement agencies available to assist you both before and after the funeral, and some contact numbers are contained in this booklet,

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or ask your GP for more information. Support for children and young people is also available.

Contact details of agencies that can help. Bassetlaw Bereavement Care 01909 502779Cruse Bereavement Care 0844 477 9400Samaritans 08457 909090

Feedback formWe appreciate this may is a difficult time for you but we would find it helpful if you could, now or in the future, complete this feedback form. We always strive to provide the best care possible. The best way to find out whether our services met your needs is to ask you.

Which A&E or ward was your relative/friend on just before they died?

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Did the service you received from the bereavement staff meet your expectations/needs?

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Was there anything you found particularly helpful?

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Was there anything you found particularly unhelpful?

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Are there any suggestions you could make that would help to improve our bereavement service?

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Many thanks for taking the time to complete this feedback form.

Once completed please return to:The Bereavement OfficeDoncaster Royal InfirmaryArmthorpe RoadDoncasterSouth YorkshireDN2 5LT

The Trust appreciates that bereavement can bring out uncharacteristic emotions and actions.

Designed by Medical Photography & Graphic Design, DBHFT. 01302 366666 ext. 3736

Bereavement Services