8/12/2019 Women & Multiple Role Stress

1/3

Women & Multiple Role Stress

Haven't you ever wished you had a wife who would wash, clean, takecare of the children, and have dinner on the table while she patientlylistened to you complain what a tiring day you've had, when you getback home?

You'd be surprised to know that more women than men answer 'yes'to this question! It is also known as the I need a wife yndrome,commonly afflicting dual"career couples, where the woman might beworking and earning# $ut unfortunately women can never have a

wife waiting at home with warm food and tender care? for her whenshe gets back home after a full working day, it is only the beginningof the second"shift " she must now take up the duties of a wife,

mother, homemaker and perhaps daughter or daughter"in"law#

In fact, when the levels of %ortisol, or the stress hormone werestudied, it was found that the stress levels of men and non"mothersfall when they get back home from work# However, for WorkingMoms, the cortisol levels shoot up when they get back home.

&ven if you haven't e perienced this, I am sure you can empathi(ewith the situation of this woman who works two full"time )obs! *ot anenviable position!

+omen in such situations typically undergo what is known as

ultiple -ole tress , or opposing pressures and demands from themultiple roles they are trying to )uggle#

.echnically speaking, ultiple -ole tresses can take place in twoconditions/

Role Overload " .his is when there are )ust too manydemands to fulfil# 0 common e ample would be, waking upearly, making breakfast and sending the children off to school,making sure lunch is ready and then getting to work on timeonly to ensure all deadlines are met and reports completedand getting back home to cook and clean and prepare for the

ne t day? it )ust never ends! $ottom line/ she is )ust plainoverworked, trying to do too many things# 1uggling too manyballs none of which she can drop even momentarily#

Role Conflict " .his occurs when the demands of the variousroles are conflicting and she is forced to choose one or theother# 2or e ample, an important meeting at work coincideswith om"in"3aw's appointment with the doctor# In thissituation, if one is more important than the other, the decisioncould have been simple but that rarely is the case# he isforced to choose between two important demands, both ofwhich need to be fulfilled# 0nother form of role conflict is whenthe demands of one role are opposing the demands or

e pectations from the other# 2or e ample, a woman at work isnot allowed to display any emotions or tenderness , but as a

8/12/2019 Women & Multiple Role Stress

2/3

mother and wife she must be loving, caring and sensitive"basically wear her emotions on her sleeve# o not only is shee pected to fulfil two conflicting roles, but she must alsochange her personality )ust as she changes an outfit to get towork#

If you are not already empathi(ing with our lady, suffering under thepressure of having too many roles to play" and play them well" let uslook deeper into how this affects her# 4to4 research proves thatwomen in India too 5much like working women in other parts of theworld6 feel guilty about not being able to spend time with thechildren, find housework too ta ing, do not have enough time fortheir partners or for sociali(ation and often put themselves on theback"burner# .hese effects are also seen the world over, in workingwomen who also have other roles to fulfil#

.he answer then would be to quit working and be a stay"at"homemother and wife, right? +rong! 1ust like it would be wrong tocategorically state that one must not have children or ever getmarried and only work#

.he reason being, having more than one role is also highlyadvantageous# ultiple roles are like having more than oneopportunity for satisfaction and success# It results in a full, multi"faceted life, rather than a one"dimensional e istence#

*ot only does it add to the fullness of life, having more than one rolein life also buffers us from the occasional failures in one or the otherrole# 0fter a long and particularly difficult day at work, haven't youfelt re)uvenated after spending some time with family?playing withyour children?or even a simple cup of coffee with your om? .hereverse also applies" when things aren't going so well in yourpersonal life, success at work could be something that sees youthrough the difficult times#

.he right answer then, lies in building up our resources to cope withthe multiple demands# 57f course, there might be times when you

)ust need to stay away from the incessant demands and have sometime by yourself, and that is healthy and re)uvenating6#

In terms of building our resources, we are essentially strengtheningourselves or calling in for reinforcements# ome simple strategies forthis would be/

Prioritize #8now what's important and when# 9ick out tasksthat are urgent as well as important first: ne t those that areimportant but not urgent: and quit doing tasks that are neitherimportant nor urgent!

Set yourself up for success not failure #failure 5read/ setrealistic targets6# If you e pect yourself to be the perfectworker, the perfect daughter and the perfect wife, not tomention the perfect friend and daughter"in"law, you aresetting yourself up for failure# 0llow yourself a margin for error

and be easy on yourself if you slip up once in a way# Use strategies to derive maximum benefit from t e least

8/12/2019 Women & Multiple Role Stress

3/3

input #3earn multitasking and other skills such as timemanagement# ;se time spent on the long commute to catchup on your reading 5or chatting with friends or even filing yournails6!

!elegate #You do not have to do everything yourself# If the

cook 5or your om"in"3aw6 can prepare dinner, let her# !evelop and use net"or#s #.here might be many othersstruggling with the same issues like you" meet and learn fromthem# ;se them in times of emergency" such as asking thechildren to wait with the neighbour if you are stuck in trafficune pectedly# 0nd if nothing else, you could get some moralsupport!

0lmost every woman is conditioned to believe that unless she cooksand feeds her family, she is a failure# he might then choose to cookdinner everyday: not reali(ing that the time might be better spent

playing with her children or spending some couple time with herhusband# How often we all fall for choosing the mundane over theimportant# o give a lot of thought to priorities and then use e ternalresources, strategies and networks to ensure that you are able tomeet them# .his also calls for a certain reduction in e pectations fromyourself# 7therwise you could drain out before the finish"line#

0nd while you try out all these strategies, do remember that you areimportant too# If you suffer, so will every thing else" your husband,children, family as well as work# 0nd as someone has rightly said, onecannot outsource stress"management# o take care of yourself"physically as well as psychologically#

.he strategies mentioned here are skills that one can learn anddevelop# If you wish to find out more about these or any other points,do contact our counsellors #

http://1to1help.net/counselling/http://1to1help.net/counselling/