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Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

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Page 1: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee
Page 2: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show?and

Do You Think a 70 Year-Old Comedy Writer Can Still be Funny?

Iʼve got this killer idea for a Dog and Cat Comedy television series that will bring the entire family back around the TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee Cuoco, Chelsea Handler and Ellen DeGeneres to host.

There was a time I could waltz into any television network and pitch this. But, I donʼt know anyone in TV anymore. So, let me reintroduce myself:

More than a while ago, I was waiting for the elevator at CBS Television City. When the doors opened, there were only two people inside; Carol Burnett and Groucho Marx. I managed to gushingly introduce myself as a brand new, rookie writer on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Carol politely congratulated me, and then Groucho shook my hand and said, “Nice to meet you, Ted. You know, youʼre much shorter in person.” The elevator only went up two floors, but I was already in heaven.

After Smothers, The Jonathan Winters Show and two seasons as head writer for Sanford and Son, I was suddenly perceived as a comedy writing genius - and I was getting invitations from all the TV networks to come in and pitch ideas for new shows. Over the next decade or so I wrote over a dozen sitcom pilots. None made it to series. Ah, but then thereʼs a lot of great quarterbacks who never made it to the Super Bowl. So I say....

Imagine if this series got on the air and it started with you. Kindly read one more paragraph on the next page. If you get past that, thereʼs a scripted mini-Pilot that follows. If you like it and can help make it happen, letʼs go. If you like it and know somebody who can make it happen, letʼs go. Come on, everybody knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody...

Know somebody?

Ted Bergman - IMdb:http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0074867/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1

[email protected]

Appealing to audiences of every age, nationality, race and religion on our planet.

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- A Detailed Presentation For a Television Series -

Dogs And Cats Go Hollywood is a celebrity hosted, comedy television series, featuring real dogs and real cats and real people; that is also structured to raise lots of money for animal related charities. It is an hour of laughter and love that appeals to audiences of every age, nationality, race and religion on our planet. This is the show that will bring the family back around the TV set.

Created and Written by - Ted BergmanIMDb:http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0074867/?ref_=fn_nm_nm_1 Draft: 9/10/13 - Registered, WGA #[email protected]

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Page 4: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

FADE IN:

MUSIC UP: SHOW THEME:

INTO:

TITLE SEQUENCE: (ANIMATED.)

1. A Neighborhood Backyard in Japan: An Akita and a Pekinese in Sumo outfits, wrestling playfully.

CUT TO:

2. A Bull Ring in Mexico: A Cat Matador, a Chihuahua as the bull, pawing the ground, charging the catʼs cape to the cheering crowd of dogs and cats.

CUT TO:

3. A NASCAR-type Race Track: Lined up, motors revving like stock cars, are Our Signature Dog, a Dachshund wearing old-fashioned aviator's goggles, a French Poodle w/scarf, a St Bernhard and Scottish Terrier. Parodying NASCAR, all are wearing coats with pet product advertising on the side. Our Signature Cat waves the checkered flag and the dogs take off.

CUT TO:

4. A Cricket Ground (Stadium) in England - Bulldogs clad in team uniforms are primly playing Cricket. In the stands, Collies in wide brimmed sun hats and monocled Wire Haired Terriers sip tea and applaud politely. After a moment, Big Ben in the B.G tolls the hour and suddenly everyone reacts excitedly, hurriedly emptying the stadium, getting into black taxis, double decker busses, etc, heading for home.

CUT TO:

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Page 5: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

1. The Japanese Neighborhood Backyard: The Akita & Pekinese, hearing the clock toll, stop wrestling, react happily and run towards the house.

CUT TO:

2. The Bull Ring in Mexico: Our Cat Matador, the Chihuahua and the bull ring crowd all react excitedly to the tolling of the clock by rapidly leaving the stadium, the Chihuahua jumping on the back of the cat, waving his sombrero as they gallop out of the arena.

CUT TO:

3. The NASCAR-type Race Track: Hearing the tolling bell, the racing dogs brake to a screeching halt. Then, they and the rest of the Canine Crowd rush to their stock cars, burning rubber out of the stadium.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM A couch and TV are prominent. Our Signature Dog and Cat, followed by many of the Animated Characters from the previous scenes, scamper in and gather around the TV set. Our Dog and Cat fight over, juggle the remote and finally turn on the TV:

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Page 6: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

TIGHTEN ON TV SCREEN AND THROUGH TO:

INT. TV STUDIO SET: (END ANIMATION.)

ANNOUNCER (V.O.) "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host, "Kaylee Cuoco!

KAYLEE ENTERS:

KAYLEE "Hi everybody! Tonight is all about our world wide " love affair with dogs and cats. From San Francisco" " to Singapore, Jacksonville to Japan, close to half a " " billion families share their home with a -

CUT TO:

LEWIS BLACKCAT AND CHILI: A cat and dog, created with the latest in animation. Lewis, our resident smart ass cat critic will be personified by the voice of comedian Lewis Black. Chili, is his more mellow, sombrero wearing Chihuahua partner. They will interrupt throughout the show with their observations.

LEWIS So far, Iʼm not impressed.

" " " " " CHILI Shush. Give them a chance. " " " " " BACK TO:

" " " " KAYLEY ...Hello, Japan!

CUT TO:

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Page 7: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

INTERNATIONAL “HELLOS” SEQUENCE:This opening segment immediately demonstrates the world-wide scope of our show. It is a half dozen or so brief scenes introducing international dog and cat families. For example, we might begin by panning across the gardens of this Japanese familyʼs house to:

" " "

" " “Hello, Dogs and Cats Go Hollywood! We are the " Yamaguchi family from Osaka, Japan. This is our cat, Suri and our dog, Kardashian.”

CONTINUE SEGMENT:After meeting additional dog and cat families from oh, say, England, France, Russia, Israel and Singapore...

END SEGMENT:

PRODUCTION NOTE: We will recruit talented pet video producers on YouTube who will create entertaining, unique “Hello Openings” for our first show. After that, we will solicit from within the show. (“Want to say hello to the world from Dog and Cats go Hollywood. Send us your video, etc...”)

BACK TO:

INT. TV STUDIO SET:There is a yellow Labrador Retriever sitting next to Kaylee. " " " " "

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Says something like...

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" " " " " KAYLEE "You may have noticed that I work on a show " " called, The Big Bang Theory. However, for my " " buddy, Nitro here, “Big Bang” has a whole " " different meaning.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS:

INTO:

EXPLOSIVE DOG SNIFFING: SEGMENTWeʼre on location at the Golden Globes, getting a lesson on explosive sniffing with Nitro and his Trainer. This is one in a series of “In-Fun-Formational” segments of 4-5 minutes. Next week we might visit Canine Companion Training or Police or Military Dogs. And we will always, in an engaging way, show people how they can contribute to these organizations.TIP: Watch for Tom Hanks dropping by for a cameo, getting “sniff frisked” by Nitro.

PRODUCTION NOTE: Again, throughout the show, we will always be able to insert Lewis and Chili to add a quick, humorous observation." " " " "

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" " " " " CHILI Cool! I want to be a bomb sniffer.

" " " " " LEWIS Yeah? Take a whiff of this show.

END SEGMENT:

BACK TO:

INT. TV STUDIO SET:" " " " " " " " " " KAYLEE And now itʼs time for another episode of, Dysfunctional Dog Trainers!

INTO:

DYSFUNCTIONAL DOG TRAINERS: SKETCHAnimal advocate comedic actors such as Jayne Lynch and Rhea Perlman will play our two resident, dysfunctional dog trainers. “Roommates”, they are constantly bickering, arguing, sulking, often forgetting that the dogs are even there. In this episode, they are in the kitchen showing us how to make healthy dog treats. While squabbling over ingredients, who forgot to do this, bring that, their several dogs are circling the countertop like hungry sharks. Finally, the two women have become so preoccupied spatting, they fail to notice that the dogs have gotten up on the table and are gobbling up all of the ingredients.This is a recurring piece of 3-4 minutes, written by the show staff. Some other staff written pieces are Desperate House Pets, Law and Odor and Looking For Love. (Dog and cat matchmaking)

END SKETCH:

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BACK TO:

INT. TV STUDIO SET:

KAYLEE Were going to take a break. When we come " back, letʼs all get together and make a " " movie - staring your dogs and cats. Really!

QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

MUSIC STING: CRIME TYPE

INTO:

CIA AND FBI MOST WANTED CATS AND DOGS: SEGMENTThis is a real Dog and Cat Adoption Segment that will appear as a bumper in and/or out of commercials.

JON STEWART (V.O.) ! Meet Cookie, a four month old Pit Bull. Cookie will not bark unless " " he senses a Tsunami, will bump up " " your morning blogs and can quickly " throw together a Waldorf Salad. " " This dog is so disgustingly adorable, he was inspiration for the original " " Happy Face. Cookie is available " at....

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CIA MOST WANTED DOG

Cookie

Page 11: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

Celebrity animal advocates like Natalie Portman, Hugh Jackman, Betty White and Jon Stewart will donate their voices to give these animals a greater chance at a new home.

PRODUCTION NOTE: As an added adoption incentive, we will cross promote products; like Rescuers/Adoptees receiving a special Dogs and Cats Go Hollywood collar, paid for and promoted by, oh say, Purina.

OUT OF COMMERCIAL:

INTO:

INT. TV STUDIO - “MAKE OUR OWN MOVIE”: SEGMENTIn addition to a clapboard in the b.g., perhaps pictures of families taking video of their dogs and cats, a movie marque, etc. " " " " KAYLEE " Okay, are you ready?! Itʼs time for all of us" to get together and do something that has never been done before on television. Were going to make a feature comedy " movie, starring your dogs and cats!

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI:

" " " " LEWIS (disappointed.)" " Dogs and cats? Whereʼs Adam Sandler " " when you need him?

BACK TO:

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" " " " KAYLEE " Hereʼs how it works: In just a second, " " weʼre going to tell you what the movie is " " about, and the kind of video clips we need. " " Then, after you send us your video, weʼll " " edit the best together, add music and special " " effects - and, at the end of the season weʼll " " have our movie. Now, get this! Every penny " " of the profits will go to dog and cat related " " charities.

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI:

LEWIS" " Hello! I am a cat charity. My post office box " " is -

BACK TO KAYLEE:

" " " KAYLEE (to Lewis, interrupting.)" " Hey! (back to audience) " Our movie is about a sweet, naive little dog " " named Daisy, who is accidentally left at a truck stop by her family, winds up in a ditzy dog pound, then escapes with her new boyfriend, and the two of them lead a crusade to release oppressed dogs and cats everywhere.

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI:

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Page 13: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

" " " " LEWIS" " Boyfriend? Ooooo, this could give Lady and ! ! The Tramp a whole new meaning.

CHILI I want to be in a movie.

" " " " LEWIS" Sure. Weʼll call it, The Three Stooges, Minus ! Two.

BACK TO KAYLEE:

" " " KAYLEE Remember, our movie is going to be made entirely from video clips sent in by all of you. " " Okay, letʼs begin tonight by casting our two stars. " " If you think your dog could be Daisy, send us a " " short, audition video. Weʼre also looking for " " Daisyʼs boyfriend. So, if you think youʼve got a " " canine George Clooney, letʼs check him out.

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI:

CHILI" " You think I should send them something?

" " " " LEWIS " Sure. But, to save them time, just mark it, " " “Spam Folder.”

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PRODUCTION NOTE: Obviously, our “Make a Movie” concept needs more detail - and definitely itʼs own website where viewers can get more information. On the website they can access the weekly posted shot lists, find out if their clip was accepted and learn that if we use their video in the final cut, their name will be in the credits, etc. Advertising and cross promotional opportunities with this project will be abundant, including a contest to name the movie.

END “MAKE OUR OWN MOVIE” SEGMENT:

INTO:

INT. TV STUDIO - THE ABADEMY AWARDS: SEGMENTThe set is a parody of the real Academy Awards; Drapes, pillars, red carpet, etc.

MUSIC UP: DRAMATIC.

" " " " ANNOUNCER (V.O.)" " Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual," " Abademy Awards. Your host for this evening," " Kaylee Cuoco!

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KAYLEE ENTERS: She is gowned and coiffed. " " " " " " " " KAYLEE " " Good Evening. Tonight we are here to honor " " those very special, remarkable, extraordinary " " dogs and cats - who are so whacko, so freakin’ crazy that they make us laugh and, of course we love ‘em anyway. That’s right, tonight we present the best of the worst.

MUSIC CRESCENDO:" " " " " " " " KAYLEE (CONT”D) " ...And the nominees are: From Dayton, Ohio. " " Ringo!

CUT TO:

SUBMITTED VIDEO CLIP: A German Shepherd jumps up onto the dining room table and begins to eagerly dismember and devour the just cooked family turkey dinner. When he is discovered and gets yelled at, he panics and scrambles across the table, turkey, platter, mashed potatoes, side dishes, plates, glasses and silverware flying everywhere.

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI

" " " " " CHILI" " I did that, my mama would kill me!

" " " " " LEWIS" " Your mama tried to kill me, and I didnʼt do" " anything.

BACK TO KAYLEE:

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" " " " " KAYLEE" "Our next nominee, from Mobile, Alabama. " " Audrey!

CUT TO:

SUBMITTED VIDEO CLIP:A black cat is clawing, climbing up the draperies, shredding them, finally bringing the whole structure, including framed pictures, end tables and lamps, crashing to the ground.

CUT TO:

LEWIS AND CHILI

" " " " " CHILI " Aye, Dios mio!

" " " " " LEWIS " Nicely done! Didnʼt they name a hurricane after " " you? PRODUCTION NOTE: There will be several more videos to complete this segment. We will solicit, find the initial videos on YouTube. After that, our viewers will send in theirs. At the end of the segment, the audience will vote for their favorite via text message. And, with their vote they will be contributing money to a specific dog and/or cat charity. Near the end of the show we bring out the winning dog or cat and its owner to receive their statuette, The Licky.

END ABADEMY AWARDS SEGMENT:

INTO: COMMERCIAL BREAK.

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PRODUCTION NOTE: • In and out of commercials, there will be short bumpers featuring rescue,

shelter or adoption organizations (Like CIA Most Wanted Dog above.) • We can also use these bumpers for interesting facts and/or short tips on

dog and cat care, behavior and health. • We'll get even get creative with “Donation Marketing”, offering show T-shirts, "Staff" sweatshirts, jackets, coffee mugs, etc. - These will not be sold commercially, only available through the show.• Of course, what can be sold commercially are toy replicas of our

Signature Dog and Cat, Lewis Blackcat, Chili and others to come.

OUT OF COMMERCIAL:

INTO:

THE CANINE COMMUNITY REPORTERS: SEGMENT

Dogs (and Cats) Reporting The News in Your Community.Created by nationally known animal advocate, Kathy Tarochione, The CCR allows our world wide audience to submit their dogs and cats to become International Pet Community Reporters. With celebrity donated voices and the latest in animation/split screen techniques, these:

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Reporters →

will cover fun, endearing animal happenings in communities around the world. UPDATE: The AFLU (American Feline Liberties Union) has threatened to file a discrimination lawsuit against The Canine Community Reporters. So, to avoid arched backs and hissy fits, let it be known that the CCR has agreed to include cats.

The CCR is even more than an Entertainment Segment:

It also provides a wealth of marketing opportunities, creates viewer devotion, AND raises awareness and funds for spay and neutering, no kill shelters, adoptions, etc.

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Too bad we missed this one!

END CANINE COMMUNITY REPORTERS SEGMENT:

INTO:

DOG AND CAT COSTUME CONTEST: SEGMENTOur audience will send in pictures and/or video clips of their dogs and cats in costume, and we will invite the best into the studio for the live “Costume Parade.” Viewers will vote for their favorite and weʼll announce the winners at the end of the show.Each week will be a different theme: Could be Movies:

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or TV or....

END DOG AND CAT COSTUME CONTEST SEGMENT:

INTO: COMMERCIAL BREAK

OUT OF COMMERCIAL:

INTO:

CELEBRITY GUEST HOST: SEGMENTA highlight of every show will be up close with our guest host and their pets. Weʼll visit them in their home, or at the park, romping on the beach, etc. This will also be an opportunity for the Guest Host to tell us about their specific animal advocacy. (Like Kaylee Cocoʼs passion for dog shelters and adoption.) Thus, we will be able to book stars who otherwise might be unapproachable.

"

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This is just my Aunt Rose reincarnated as a dog. (Thought Iʼd throw it in.)

Hosting a Funny, Endearing Show and Raising Money For Dogs and Cats... Whatʼs the Downside?

Page 21: Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV … · Will Kaylee Cuoco Host a New Dog and Cat Comedy TV Show? ... TV set. And, I want animal advocate celebrities like Kaylee

A Partial List of Celebrity Animal Advocates Who Could be GoodHosts: Chelsea Handler, Carrie Underwood, Betty White, Katherine Heigl, Ellen DeGeneres, Leonardo DiCaprio, Robin Williams, Garry Shandling, Cameron Diaz, Tom Hanks, Seth Myers, Courtney Cox, Kristen Wiig...

END CELEBRITY GUEST HOST SEGMENT:

INTO:

IN STUDIO CONTESTS AND GAMES: SEGMENT This will likely be the most anticipated, spontaneous, outrageous part of every show. At the very least, it will provide out takes and bloopers for years. It consists of live games and contests showcasing the agility, intelligence and pure likability of our animals.

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Our staff will consult with animal experts in the field of agility training, and collaborate with the best television set designers to create fun contests and visually unique arenas. Perhaps a mini NASCAR or Olympic style race track.

Other events may include My Dogʼs Worst Trick, The Best (and worst) Frisbee and Ball Catchers - and, our own version of American Idol, called, American Fido, with our own auditions, music, costumes and yes, judges! Of course, we'll vote for our favorites and raise even more money. As throughout this entire show, the emphasis here will always be on fun, safety, respect and TLC.

END IN STUDIO FUN AND GAMES SEGMENT:

INTO:

WINNERS AND GOODBYES SEGMENT:

Votes that have been texted into the show have been tabulated and now we will announce (and meet) the winners of the Abademy Awards, Costume Contest and Fun and Games Segments. We will also announce how much money our voters have raised for dog and cat charities - and, that next weekʼs Guest Host will be Chelsea HandlerSee you all next week!

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Authorʼs Note: All material within this document is for illustration proposes only and is not intended to be a complete script. Also, none of it implies any commitments from individuals or companies. Also, television is a collaborative medium and Dogs And Cats Go Hollywood will continue to be a work in progress. This author is always open to shaping and revising, embracing the concept that the better mousetrap often necessitates the give and take of ideas and many other kinds of meddlesome, wearisome and whining intrusions that come with the territory.

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