The Impact on the Expat FamilyCarole Field

Expat Transitions

New SurroundingsOnce the key areas have been noted, look for similar situations in the new country. Will there, for example, be opportunities to pursue the same leisure activities or join groups of like-minded people?

What is the Gap?Now look for the gaps between what the expat partner relies on in the home country for their sense of identity and what will be available to them in Australia.

Solutions How can these gaps possibly be bridged or alternatives identified once you move?

There are a number of ways of doing this process. Excellent resources such as Bryson & Hoge’s book ‘A Portable Identity’ can be used as a self-guided tool. Alternatively, using a mentor or a coach to help test the thinking, realities and pragmatisms of the thinking can be invaluable to establishing a realistic understanding and expectation.

From this base it can be powerful to be ‘forewarned’ and therefore proactive about what actions to undertake to minimise the disturbance and to successfully embed the family into the new location and have a brilliant expat experience.

Working with the expat partner and family is part of OSULLIVANFIELD’s The Expat Program.

Phase 4: Basic CompetenceBasic competence in the practices in any country takes between 2 – 4 years from the start of your posting. Despite the challenges, most expatriates are able to develop functional proficiency in the local environment within a couple of years from relocation. In current practice, it is o�en at this point that an expatriate posting completes. It seems just when people are ‘ge�ing the hang of things’ it is time to relocate again.

Phase 5: MasteryTo make substantial and sustainable progress, they generally need strong relationships with people. This requires a lot of time. Various studies and experience has shown that at least five to seven years are necessary to develop a deep appreciation of the country and its opportunities.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Our experience with expatriates and their families is that one of the greatest challenges faced by the partner of the expatriate, who is le� without a sense of meaning, purpose and identity. This can create great unhappiness and drive unhelpful pa�erns of behaviour that negatively impact the family and the expatriate experience.

So much energy and e�ort is expended on the logistics of the physical move and, while necessary, this can distract from a�ending to the things that will have the most significant impact on psycho-logical wellbeing, happiness and relationships a�er the initial flurry of se�ling in.

What becomes apparent is that in the ‘home environment’—the country and city that is being le�— the partner has an established infrastructure and support network created through years of living in the same community. A significant portion of an individual’s personal sense of meaning and value is derived from roles played and contributions made. This may include work, study, commu-nity involvement, church, charities, sports and schools. The challenge is that, in the new location, many of the elements on which the expat partner depended and formed the basis of their identity, may be no longer available. While some may just take time and e�ort to re establish in the new location, challenges such as the loss of identity through working, for example, may not. Many people spend years establishing careers. However, due to visa restrictions it is not unusual for the expat’s partner to be unable to undertake paid work even in their qualified area.

With the move to the new location, the ability to connect with the established mechanisms is weakened through lack of proximity, time zones and sheer opportunity. The power of a�achment to, and the fulfilment gained from, these roles cannot be underestimated. A void will be created. It can be lonely. A common issue encountered is finding and establishing relationships and friendships in the new location. Human beings are social by nature. We crave and need companion-ship and connection with others.

The challenge in an expatriate assignment can be the experience of only having transactional relationships rather than those with depth and meaning. The expatriate experience in Australia is di�erent to that in other areas such as Singapore or Dubai, where the expatriate communities are more obvious in that there are compounds designed for expatriate living. Therefore, meeting other expatriate families is made easier purely because of accommodation choices. This is not the case in Australia. The choice of where to live is more abundant and o�en made based on the location of the new workplace.

Phase 1: HoneymoonThis covers the initial four to six weeks in the new country, and is characterised by the understand-able excitement of being in a new country. Everything is new and interesting. It is an adventure.

Phase 2: Culture ShockOnce the honeymoon phase is over, culture shock o�en sets in and can last for six to eight months. Expatriates quickly begin to comprehend the magnitude of the challenges of living and working in a di�erent country. Because nothing is familiar, even the most routine tasks require additional e�ort. During this time expats and their families discover that methods and pa�erns used successfully in previous locations are either worthless or even destructive in another cultural environment.

The result can be that expatriate manager can become distressed, frustrated and ine�ective in their job. Then, when they arrive home, they are usually faced with family members who are even more traumatised.

The combination of severe adjustments at both work and home results is classic culture shock symptoms: frustration, anger, confusion, distrust of others. There is no happy place to be during this period. If not recognised and addressed, people can become ‘stuck’ in this phase and this can be the lasting memory expatriates and their families take with them when they leave the country.

Phase 3: Gradual AdjustmentDuring this phase, which can last from one to two years, self-confidence and e�ectiveness is regained in a steady but di�cult process. Through trial and error, and by building relationships, you gradually come to understand the need to adapt to the local culture before trying to manage it. Expatriates and their families eventually come to appreciate local customs, cuisine and business practices.

THE IMPACT ON THE EXPAT FAMILY

While the move brings an exciting opportunity for the expat, what is happening for their family? For many families, the relocation can be viewed as a great imposition rather than a wonderful adventure.

Relocation can create challenging circumstances, particularly for the ‘trailing spouse’, which is not supported by the standard ‘transactional’ relocation services provided by most organisations. This paper explores some of the common experiences of` partners and families and provides some strategies and ideas to increase the likelihood of creating an enjoyable experience with wonderful memories.

THE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF EXPATRIATE ASSIGNMENTS

If awareness, planning and support are not in place, the result can be an unhappy partner who may (not necessarily consciously) create an environment that negatively a�ects the performance of the expatriate manager.

In fact, one of the most significant factors in the derailment of expatriate assignments is where the partner and or the family struggle in the transition to their new life and circumstances. Sadly, marriage breakdown is not an uncommon result. Uno�cial numbers claim that upwards of 50 per cent of their expatriate marriages fail due to the stress of o�shore postings.

Two of the major contributors to spousal and family disharmony are the impacts of Culture Shock and the issue of Identity. The following details these areas.

CULTURE SHOCKIt is common for even the most flexible people to endure an initial period of stress when starting their expatriate posting. Commonly known as culture shock, this psychological a�iction results when people become anxious and confused in a di�erent environment.

Given the large demands on the expatriate from the organisation, partners and families spend a lot of time by themselves in an unfamiliar environment, cut o� from their extended family, friends and known contacts. During this time, they are usually dealing with challenges they have not encoun-tered before e.g. new school, banking, medical, housing, communications companies, in an unfamil-iar environment.

In this state, they experience homesickness, depression, irritability and frustration. This experience occurs not only for the expat but for all members of their accompanying family. It can create a very challenging environment and, if not managed, can become a contributor to expatriate failure. Culture shock is known to move through a number of phases. Understanding the cycles with culture shock is important so there are no surprises as you travel through them. This information can be used to make sure appropriate planning and action can take place to make as smooth a transition as possible.

What is critical here is that most current expat assignments are for three years or less. The challenge is to fast track through the flux so that mastery can be a�ained in a far shorter timeframe.

Experienced expat partners will already understand that in the new location the local people have no need to include you in their lives. The locals already have full lives with connections and relationships. Expats find Australians are very friendly but not necessarily inclusive. They will happily chat, spend time in passing but beyond this they will not necessarily make an e�ort to include others. In the absence of personal connections expat partners can feel that, in the new location, they are only defined by their role in relation to others for example, chiefly their partner and children. In response, a common pa�ern is an escalating emphasis on the expatriate executive partner to provide company, social stimulation and fill the void. This can show up as lots of calls, demands to be home, be involved in activities and lack of flexibility in time. While the expat will only want the best for the family, this is a period when they will have multiple demands. Starting a new job is consuming: working in a new company, taking on a new team and being in a new location are all demanding and require e�ort. All of these things on their own would demand time and a�ention but in combination the time demands are extraordinary. To then have the family making demands only adds to the challenges. It’s likely the expat will feel pressure, guilt and responsibility to try to make everyone happy, as they have been the one responsible for uprooting and bringing the family to this new place. It is not unusual for the expat family, particularly the adults, to become very insular and co-dependent. This is not all bad of course, o�en expat families become much closer as the interdependence and reliance on each other for social and emotional support is deepened. But this can also be draining and limiting. Finding trusted caregivers so the adults can have the time and space to be a couple, to mix with other couples and keep their relationship solid can also be something that is sacrificed. Again then, identity is diminished and this can further add to dissatisfaction.

This can create frustration and tension. When not a�ended to this can result in a spiral where relationships deteriorate and the family environment, o�en the thing that most people want to maintain, is eroded.

SO, WHAT STRATEGIES ARE AVAILABLE TO MINIMISE AND MANAGE IN THIS SITUATION?

Increase awareness and manage expectationsThis involves increasing the self-awareness of the family about what is likely to be experienced. With this insight and knowledge it is then possible to make plans to help minimise the impact, recognise it when it does turn up and quickly take action to address the feelings and situations when they arise.

It can be beneficial to discuss these issues early on, even as part of the decision-making process about moving. A discussion working step by step through the following points can shed light on potentially problematic areas:

‘What is my current state?’ Discuss and identify the important factors, people and situations that contribute to the expat partner’s sense of identity. Consider both professional and personal contexts, as well any voluntary and community groups and hobbies or leisure activities.

Expat Transitions

The Impact on the Expat Family

New SurroundingsOnce the key areas have been noted, look for similar situations in the new country. Will there, for example, be opportunities to pursue the same leisure activities or join groups of like-minded people?

What is the Gap?Now look for the gaps between what the expat partner relies on in the home country for their sense of identity and what will be available to them in Australia.

Solutions How can these gaps possibly be bridged or alternatives identified once you move?

There are a number of ways of doing this process. Excellent resources such as Bryson & Hoge’s book ‘A Portable Identity’ can be used as a self-guided tool. Alternatively, using a mentor or a coach to help test the thinking, realities and pragmatisms of the thinking can be invaluable to establishing a realistic understanding and expectation.

From this base it can be powerful to be ‘forewarned’ and therefore proactive about what actions to undertake to minimise the disturbance and to successfully embed the family into the new location and have a brilliant expat experience.

Working with the expat partner and family is part of OSULLIVANFIELD’s The Expat Program.

Phase 4: Basic CompetenceBasic competence in the practices in any country takes between 2 – 4 years from the start of your posting. Despite the challenges, most expatriates are able to develop functional proficiency in the local environment within a couple of years from relocation. In current practice, it is o�en at this point that an expatriate posting completes. It seems just when people are ‘ge�ing the hang of things’ it is time to relocate again.

Phase 5: MasteryTo make substantial and sustainable progress, they generally need strong relationships with people. This requires a lot of time. Various studies and experience has shown that at least five to seven years are necessary to develop a deep appreciation of the country and its opportunities.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Our experience with expatriates and their families is that one of the greatest challenges faced by the partner of the expatriate, who is le� without a sense of meaning, purpose and identity. This can create great unhappiness and drive unhelpful pa�erns of behaviour that negatively impact the family and the expatriate experience.

So much energy and e�ort is expended on the logistics of the physical move and, while necessary, this can distract from a�ending to the things that will have the most significant impact on psycho-logical wellbeing, happiness and relationships a�er the initial flurry of se�ling in.

What becomes apparent is that in the ‘home environment’—the country and city that is being le�— the partner has an established infrastructure and support network created through years of living in the same community. A significant portion of an individual’s personal sense of meaning and value is derived from roles played and contributions made. This may include work, study, commu-nity involvement, church, charities, sports and schools. The challenge is that, in the new location, many of the elements on which the expat partner depended and formed the basis of their identity, may be no longer available. While some may just take time and e�ort to re establish in the new location, challenges such as the loss of identity through working, for example, may not. Many people spend years establishing careers. However, due to visa restrictions it is not unusual for the expat’s partner to be unable to undertake paid work even in their qualified area.

With the move to the new location, the ability to connect with the established mechanisms is weakened through lack of proximity, time zones and sheer opportunity. The power of a�achment to, and the fulfilment gained from, these roles cannot be underestimated. A void will be created. It can be lonely. A common issue encountered is finding and establishing relationships and friendships in the new location. Human beings are social by nature. We crave and need companion-ship and connection with others.

The challenge in an expatriate assignment can be the experience of only having transactional relationships rather than those with depth and meaning. The expatriate experience in Australia is di�erent to that in other areas such as Singapore or Dubai, where the expatriate communities are more obvious in that there are compounds designed for expatriate living. Therefore, meeting other expatriate families is made easier purely because of accommodation choices. This is not the case in Australia. The choice of where to live is more abundant and o�en made based on the location of the new workplace.

Phase 1: HoneymoonThis covers the initial four to six weeks in the new country, and is characterised by the understand-able excitement of being in a new country. Everything is new and interesting. It is an adventure.

Phase 2: Culture ShockOnce the honeymoon phase is over, culture shock o�en sets in and can last for six to eight months. Expatriates quickly begin to comprehend the magnitude of the challenges of living and working in a di�erent country. Because nothing is familiar, even the most routine tasks require additional e�ort. During this time expats and their families discover that methods and pa�erns used successfully in previous locations are either worthless or even destructive in another cultural environment.

The result can be that expatriate manager can become distressed, frustrated and ine�ective in their job. Then, when they arrive home, they are usually faced with family members who are even more traumatised.

The combination of severe adjustments at both work and home results is classic culture shock symptoms: frustration, anger, confusion, distrust of others. There is no happy place to be during this period. If not recognised and addressed, people can become ‘stuck’ in this phase and this can be the lasting memory expatriates and their families take with them when they leave the country.

Phase 3: Gradual AdjustmentDuring this phase, which can last from one to two years, self-confidence and e�ectiveness is regained in a steady but di�cult process. Through trial and error, and by building relationships, you gradually come to understand the need to adapt to the local culture before trying to manage it. Expatriates and their families eventually come to appreciate local customs, cuisine and business practices.

THE IMPACT ON THE EXPAT FAMILY

While the move brings an exciting opportunity for the expat, what is happening for their family? For many families, the relocation can be viewed as a great imposition rather than a wonderful adventure.

Relocation can create challenging circumstances, particularly for the ‘trailing spouse’, which is not supported by the standard ‘transactional’ relocation services provided by most organisations. This paper explores some of the common experiences of` partners and families and provides some strategies and ideas to increase the likelihood of creating an enjoyable experience with wonderful memories.

THE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF EXPATRIATE ASSIGNMENTS

If awareness, planning and support are not in place, the result can be an unhappy partner who may (not necessarily consciously) create an environment that negatively a�ects the performance of the expatriate manager.

In fact, one of the most significant factors in the derailment of expatriate assignments is where the partner and or the family struggle in the transition to their new life and circumstances. Sadly, marriage breakdown is not an uncommon result. Uno�cial numbers claim that upwards of 50 per cent of their expatriate marriages fail due to the stress of o�shore postings.

Two of the major contributors to spousal and family disharmony are the impacts of Culture Shock and the issue of Identity. The following details these areas.

CULTURE SHOCKIt is common for even the most flexible people to endure an initial period of stress when starting their expatriate posting. Commonly known as culture shock, this psychological a�iction results when people become anxious and confused in a di�erent environment.

Given the large demands on the expatriate from the organisation, partners and families spend a lot of time by themselves in an unfamiliar environment, cut o� from their extended family, friends and known contacts. During this time, they are usually dealing with challenges they have not encoun-tered before e.g. new school, banking, medical, housing, communications companies, in an unfamil-iar environment.

In this state, they experience homesickness, depression, irritability and frustration. This experience occurs not only for the expat but for all members of their accompanying family. It can create a very challenging environment and, if not managed, can become a contributor to expatriate failure. Culture shock is known to move through a number of phases. Understanding the cycles with culture shock is important so there are no surprises as you travel through them. This information can be used to make sure appropriate planning and action can take place to make as smooth a transition as possible.

What is critical here is that most current expat assignments are for three years or less. The challenge is to fast track through the flux so that mastery can be a�ained in a far shorter timeframe.

Experienced expat partners will already understand that in the new location the local people have no need to include you in their lives. The locals already have full lives with connections and relationships. Expats find Australians are very friendly but not necessarily inclusive. They will happily chat, spend time in passing but beyond this they will not necessarily make an e�ort to include others. In the absence of personal connections expat partners can feel that, in the new location, they are only defined by their role in relation to others for example, chiefly their partner and children. In response, a common pa�ern is an escalating emphasis on the expatriate executive partner to provide company, social stimulation and fill the void. This can show up as lots of calls, demands to be home, be involved in activities and lack of flexibility in time. While the expat will only want the best for the family, this is a period when they will have multiple demands. Starting a new job is consuming: working in a new company, taking on a new team and being in a new location are all demanding and require e�ort. All of these things on their own would demand time and a�ention but in combination the time demands are extraordinary. To then have the family making demands only adds to the challenges. It’s likely the expat will feel pressure, guilt and responsibility to try to make everyone happy, as they have been the one responsible for uprooting and bringing the family to this new place. It is not unusual for the expat family, particularly the adults, to become very insular and co-dependent. This is not all bad of course, o�en expat families become much closer as the interdependence and reliance on each other for social and emotional support is deepened. But this can also be draining and limiting. Finding trusted caregivers so the adults can have the time and space to be a couple, to mix with other couples and keep their relationship solid can also be something that is sacrificed. Again then, identity is diminished and this can further add to dissatisfaction.

This can create frustration and tension. When not a�ended to this can result in a spiral where relationships deteriorate and the family environment, o�en the thing that most people want to maintain, is eroded.

SO, WHAT STRATEGIES ARE AVAILABLE TO MINIMISE AND MANAGE IN THIS SITUATION?

Increase awareness and manage expectationsThis involves increasing the self-awareness of the family about what is likely to be experienced. With this insight and knowledge it is then possible to make plans to help minimise the impact, recognise it when it does turn up and quickly take action to address the feelings and situations when they arise.

It can be beneficial to discuss these issues early on, even as part of the decision-making process about moving. A discussion working step by step through the following points can shed light on potentially problematic areas:

‘What is my current state?’ Discuss and identify the important factors, people and situations that contribute to the expat partner’s sense of identity. Consider both professional and personal contexts, as well any voluntary and community groups and hobbies or leisure activities.

Stages of Expatriate Adjustment

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MasteryDeep appreciationof host country

Basic CompetenceFunctionally proficientin the local environment

Gradual AdjustmentLocal culture can nowbe appreciated

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Time

Expat Transitions

The Impact on the Expat Family

New SurroundingsOnce the key areas have been noted, look for similar situations in the new country. Will there, for example, be opportunities to pursue the same leisure activities or join groups of like-minded people?

What is the Gap?Now look for the gaps between what the expat partner relies on in the home country for their sense of identity and what will be available to them in Australia.

Solutions How can these gaps possibly be bridged or alternatives identified once you move?

There are a number of ways of doing this process. Excellent resources such as Bryson & Hoge’s book ‘A Portable Identity’ can be used as a self-guided tool. Alternatively, using a mentor or a coach to help test the thinking, realities and pragmatisms of the thinking can be invaluable to establishing a realistic understanding and expectation.

From this base it can be powerful to be ‘forewarned’ and therefore proactive about what actions to undertake to minimise the disturbance and to successfully embed the family into the new location and have a brilliant expat experience.

Working with the expat partner and family is part of OSULLIVANFIELD’s The Expat Program.

Phase 4: Basic CompetenceBasic competence in the practices in any country takes between 2 – 4 years from the start of your posting. Despite the challenges, most expatriates are able to develop functional proficiency in the local environment within a couple of years from relocation. In current practice, it is o�en at this point that an expatriate posting completes. It seems just when people are ‘ge�ing the hang of things’ it is time to relocate again.

Phase 5: MasteryTo make substantial and sustainable progress, they generally need strong relationships with people. This requires a lot of time. Various studies and experience has shown that at least five to seven years are necessary to develop a deep appreciation of the country and its opportunities.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Our experience with expatriates and their families is that one of the greatest challenges faced by the partner of the expatriate, who is le� without a sense of meaning, purpose and identity. This can create great unhappiness and drive unhelpful pa�erns of behaviour that negatively impact the family and the expatriate experience.

So much energy and e�ort is expended on the logistics of the physical move and, while necessary, this can distract from a�ending to the things that will have the most significant impact on psycho-logical wellbeing, happiness and relationships a�er the initial flurry of se�ling in.

What becomes apparent is that in the ‘home environment’—the country and city that is being le�— the partner has an established infrastructure and support network created through years of living in the same community. A significant portion of an individual’s personal sense of meaning and value is derived from roles played and contributions made. This may include work, study, commu-nity involvement, church, charities, sports and schools. The challenge is that, in the new location, many of the elements on which the expat partner depended and formed the basis of their identity, may be no longer available. While some may just take time and e�ort to re establish in the new location, challenges such as the loss of identity through working, for example, may not. Many people spend years establishing careers. However, due to visa restrictions it is not unusual for the expat’s partner to be unable to undertake paid work even in their qualified area.

With the move to the new location, the ability to connect with the established mechanisms is weakened through lack of proximity, time zones and sheer opportunity. The power of a�achment to, and the fulfilment gained from, these roles cannot be underestimated. A void will be created. It can be lonely. A common issue encountered is finding and establishing relationships and friendships in the new location. Human beings are social by nature. We crave and need companion-ship and connection with others.

The challenge in an expatriate assignment can be the experience of only having transactional relationships rather than those with depth and meaning. The expatriate experience in Australia is di�erent to that in other areas such as Singapore or Dubai, where the expatriate communities are more obvious in that there are compounds designed for expatriate living. Therefore, meeting other expatriate families is made easier purely because of accommodation choices. This is not the case in Australia. The choice of where to live is more abundant and o�en made based on the location of the new workplace.

Phase 1: HoneymoonThis covers the initial four to six weeks in the new country, and is characterised by the understand-able excitement of being in a new country. Everything is new and interesting. It is an adventure.

Phase 2: Culture ShockOnce the honeymoon phase is over, culture shock o�en sets in and can last for six to eight months. Expatriates quickly begin to comprehend the magnitude of the challenges of living and working in a di�erent country. Because nothing is familiar, even the most routine tasks require additional e�ort. During this time expats and their families discover that methods and pa�erns used successfully in previous locations are either worthless or even destructive in another cultural environment.

The result can be that expatriate manager can become distressed, frustrated and ine�ective in their job. Then, when they arrive home, they are usually faced with family members who are even more traumatised.

The combination of severe adjustments at both work and home results is classic culture shock symptoms: frustration, anger, confusion, distrust of others. There is no happy place to be during this period. If not recognised and addressed, people can become ‘stuck’ in this phase and this can be the lasting memory expatriates and their families take with them when they leave the country.

Phase 3: Gradual AdjustmentDuring this phase, which can last from one to two years, self-confidence and e�ectiveness is regained in a steady but di�cult process. Through trial and error, and by building relationships, you gradually come to understand the need to adapt to the local culture before trying to manage it. Expatriates and their families eventually come to appreciate local customs, cuisine and business practices.

THE IMPACT ON THE EXPAT FAMILY

While the move brings an exciting opportunity for the expat, what is happening for their family? For many families, the relocation can be viewed as a great imposition rather than a wonderful adventure.

Relocation can create challenging circumstances, particularly for the ‘trailing spouse’, which is not supported by the standard ‘transactional’ relocation services provided by most organisations. This paper explores some of the common experiences of` partners and families and provides some strategies and ideas to increase the likelihood of creating an enjoyable experience with wonderful memories.

THE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF EXPATRIATE ASSIGNMENTS

If awareness, planning and support are not in place, the result can be an unhappy partner who may (not necessarily consciously) create an environment that negatively a�ects the performance of the expatriate manager.

In fact, one of the most significant factors in the derailment of expatriate assignments is where the partner and or the family struggle in the transition to their new life and circumstances. Sadly, marriage breakdown is not an uncommon result. Uno�cial numbers claim that upwards of 50 per cent of their expatriate marriages fail due to the stress of o�shore postings.

Two of the major contributors to spousal and family disharmony are the impacts of Culture Shock and the issue of Identity. The following details these areas.

CULTURE SHOCKIt is common for even the most flexible people to endure an initial period of stress when starting their expatriate posting. Commonly known as culture shock, this psychological a�iction results when people become anxious and confused in a di�erent environment.

Given the large demands on the expatriate from the organisation, partners and families spend a lot of time by themselves in an unfamiliar environment, cut o� from their extended family, friends and known contacts. During this time, they are usually dealing with challenges they have not encoun-tered before e.g. new school, banking, medical, housing, communications companies, in an unfamil-iar environment.

In this state, they experience homesickness, depression, irritability and frustration. This experience occurs not only for the expat but for all members of their accompanying family. It can create a very challenging environment and, if not managed, can become a contributor to expatriate failure. Culture shock is known to move through a number of phases. Understanding the cycles with culture shock is important so there are no surprises as you travel through them. This information can be used to make sure appropriate planning and action can take place to make as smooth a transition as possible.

What is critical here is that most current expat assignments are for three years or less. The challenge is to fast track through the flux so that mastery can be a�ained in a far shorter timeframe.

Experienced expat partners will already understand that in the new location the local people have no need to include you in their lives. The locals already have full lives with connections and relationships. Expats find Australians are very friendly but not necessarily inclusive. They will happily chat, spend time in passing but beyond this they will not necessarily make an e�ort to include others. In the absence of personal connections expat partners can feel that, in the new location, they are only defined by their role in relation to others for example, chiefly their partner and children. In response, a common pa�ern is an escalating emphasis on the expatriate executive partner to provide company, social stimulation and fill the void. This can show up as lots of calls, demands to be home, be involved in activities and lack of flexibility in time. While the expat will only want the best for the family, this is a period when they will have multiple demands. Starting a new job is consuming: working in a new company, taking on a new team and being in a new location are all demanding and require e�ort. All of these things on their own would demand time and a�ention but in combination the time demands are extraordinary. To then have the family making demands only adds to the challenges. It’s likely the expat will feel pressure, guilt and responsibility to try to make everyone happy, as they have been the one responsible for uprooting and bringing the family to this new place. It is not unusual for the expat family, particularly the adults, to become very insular and co-dependent. This is not all bad of course, o�en expat families become much closer as the interdependence and reliance on each other for social and emotional support is deepened. But this can also be draining and limiting. Finding trusted caregivers so the adults can have the time and space to be a couple, to mix with other couples and keep their relationship solid can also be something that is sacrificed. Again then, identity is diminished and this can further add to dissatisfaction.

This can create frustration and tension. When not a�ended to this can result in a spiral where relationships deteriorate and the family environment, o�en the thing that most people want to maintain, is eroded.

SO, WHAT STRATEGIES ARE AVAILABLE TO MINIMISE AND MANAGE IN THIS SITUATION?

Increase awareness and manage expectationsThis involves increasing the self-awareness of the family about what is likely to be experienced. With this insight and knowledge it is then possible to make plans to help minimise the impact, recognise it when it does turn up and quickly take action to address the feelings and situations when they arise.

It can be beneficial to discuss these issues early on, even as part of the decision-making process about moving. A discussion working step by step through the following points can shed light on potentially problematic areas:

‘What is my current state?’ Discuss and identify the important factors, people and situations that contribute to the expat partner’s sense of identity. Consider both professional and personal contexts, as well any voluntary and community groups and hobbies or leisure activities.

Expat Transitions

The Impact on the Expat Family

New SurroundingsOnce the key areas have been noted, look for similar situations in the new country. Will there, for example, be opportunities to pursue the same leisure activities or join groups of like-minded people?

What is the Gap?Now look for the gaps between what the expat partner relies on in the home country for their sense of identity and what will be available to them in Australia.

Solutions How can these gaps possibly be bridged or alternatives identified once you move?

There are a number of ways of doing this process. Excellent resources such as Bryson & Hoge’s book ‘A Portable Identity’ can be used as a self-guided tool. Alternatively, using a mentor or a coach to help test the thinking, realities and pragmatisms of the thinking can be invaluable to establishing a realistic understanding and expectation.

From this base it can be powerful to be ‘forewarned’ and therefore proactive about what actions to undertake to minimise the disturbance and to successfully embed the family into the new location and have a brilliant expat experience.

Working with the expat partner and family is part of OSULLIVANFIELD’s The Expat Program.

Phase 4: Basic CompetenceBasic competence in the practices in any country takes between 2 – 4 years from the start of your posting. Despite the challenges, most expatriates are able to develop functional proficiency in the local environment within a couple of years from relocation. In current practice, it is o�en at this point that an expatriate posting completes. It seems just when people are ‘ge�ing the hang of things’ it is time to relocate again.

Phase 5: MasteryTo make substantial and sustainable progress, they generally need strong relationships with people. This requires a lot of time. Various studies and experience has shown that at least five to seven years are necessary to develop a deep appreciation of the country and its opportunities.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Our experience with expatriates and their families is that one of the greatest challenges faced by the partner of the expatriate, who is le� without a sense of meaning, purpose and identity. This can create great unhappiness and drive unhelpful pa�erns of behaviour that negatively impact the family and the expatriate experience.

So much energy and e�ort is expended on the logistics of the physical move and, while necessary, this can distract from a�ending to the things that will have the most significant impact on psycho-logical wellbeing, happiness and relationships a�er the initial flurry of se�ling in.

What becomes apparent is that in the ‘home environment’—the country and city that is being le�— the partner has an established infrastructure and support network created through years of living in the same community. A significant portion of an individual’s personal sense of meaning and value is derived from roles played and contributions made. This may include work, study, commu-nity involvement, church, charities, sports and schools. The challenge is that, in the new location, many of the elements on which the expat partner depended and formed the basis of their identity, may be no longer available. While some may just take time and e�ort to re establish in the new location, challenges such as the loss of identity through working, for example, may not. Many people spend years establishing careers. However, due to visa restrictions it is not unusual for the expat’s partner to be unable to undertake paid work even in their qualified area.

With the move to the new location, the ability to connect with the established mechanisms is weakened through lack of proximity, time zones and sheer opportunity. The power of a�achment to, and the fulfilment gained from, these roles cannot be underestimated. A void will be created. It can be lonely. A common issue encountered is finding and establishing relationships and friendships in the new location. Human beings are social by nature. We crave and need companion-ship and connection with others.

The challenge in an expatriate assignment can be the experience of only having transactional relationships rather than those with depth and meaning. The expatriate experience in Australia is di�erent to that in other areas such as Singapore or Dubai, where the expatriate communities are more obvious in that there are compounds designed for expatriate living. Therefore, meeting other expatriate families is made easier purely because of accommodation choices. This is not the case in Australia. The choice of where to live is more abundant and o�en made based on the location of the new workplace.

Phase 1: HoneymoonThis covers the initial four to six weeks in the new country, and is characterised by the understand-able excitement of being in a new country. Everything is new and interesting. It is an adventure.

Phase 2: Culture ShockOnce the honeymoon phase is over, culture shock o�en sets in and can last for six to eight months. Expatriates quickly begin to comprehend the magnitude of the challenges of living and working in a di�erent country. Because nothing is familiar, even the most routine tasks require additional e�ort. During this time expats and their families discover that methods and pa�erns used successfully in previous locations are either worthless or even destructive in another cultural environment.

The result can be that expatriate manager can become distressed, frustrated and ine�ective in their job. Then, when they arrive home, they are usually faced with family members who are even more traumatised.

The combination of severe adjustments at both work and home results is classic culture shock symptoms: frustration, anger, confusion, distrust of others. There is no happy place to be during this period. If not recognised and addressed, people can become ‘stuck’ in this phase and this can be the lasting memory expatriates and their families take with them when they leave the country.

Phase 3: Gradual AdjustmentDuring this phase, which can last from one to two years, self-confidence and e�ectiveness is regained in a steady but di�cult process. Through trial and error, and by building relationships, you gradually come to understand the need to adapt to the local culture before trying to manage it. Expatriates and their families eventually come to appreciate local customs, cuisine and business practices.

THE IMPACT ON THE EXPAT FAMILY

While the move brings an exciting opportunity for the expat, what is happening for their family? For many families, the relocation can be viewed as a great imposition rather than a wonderful adventure.

Relocation can create challenging circumstances, particularly for the ‘trailing spouse’, which is not supported by the standard ‘transactional’ relocation services provided by most organisations. This paper explores some of the common experiences of` partners and families and provides some strategies and ideas to increase the likelihood of creating an enjoyable experience with wonderful memories.

THE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF EXPATRIATE ASSIGNMENTS

If awareness, planning and support are not in place, the result can be an unhappy partner who may (not necessarily consciously) create an environment that negatively a�ects the performance of the expatriate manager.

In fact, one of the most significant factors in the derailment of expatriate assignments is where the partner and or the family struggle in the transition to their new life and circumstances. Sadly, marriage breakdown is not an uncommon result. Uno�cial numbers claim that upwards of 50 per cent of their expatriate marriages fail due to the stress of o�shore postings.

Two of the major contributors to spousal and family disharmony are the impacts of Culture Shock and the issue of Identity. The following details these areas.

CULTURE SHOCKIt is common for even the most flexible people to endure an initial period of stress when starting their expatriate posting. Commonly known as culture shock, this psychological a�iction results when people become anxious and confused in a di�erent environment.

Given the large demands on the expatriate from the organisation, partners and families spend a lot of time by themselves in an unfamiliar environment, cut o� from their extended family, friends and known contacts. During this time, they are usually dealing with challenges they have not encoun-tered before e.g. new school, banking, medical, housing, communications companies, in an unfamil-iar environment.

In this state, they experience homesickness, depression, irritability and frustration. This experience occurs not only for the expat but for all members of their accompanying family. It can create a very challenging environment and, if not managed, can become a contributor to expatriate failure. Culture shock is known to move through a number of phases. Understanding the cycles with culture shock is important so there are no surprises as you travel through them. This information can be used to make sure appropriate planning and action can take place to make as smooth a transition as possible.

What is critical here is that most current expat assignments are for three years or less. The challenge is to fast track through the flux so that mastery can be a�ained in a far shorter timeframe.

Experienced expat partners will already understand that in the new location the local people have no need to include you in their lives. The locals already have full lives with connections and relationships. Expats find Australians are very friendly but not necessarily inclusive. They will happily chat, spend time in passing but beyond this they will not necessarily make an e�ort to include others. In the absence of personal connections expat partners can feel that, in the new location, they are only defined by their role in relation to others for example, chiefly their partner and children. In response, a common pa�ern is an escalating emphasis on the expatriate executive partner to provide company, social stimulation and fill the void. This can show up as lots of calls, demands to be home, be involved in activities and lack of flexibility in time. While the expat will only want the best for the family, this is a period when they will have multiple demands. Starting a new job is consuming: working in a new company, taking on a new team and being in a new location are all demanding and require e�ort. All of these things on their own would demand time and a�ention but in combination the time demands are extraordinary. To then have the family making demands only adds to the challenges. It’s likely the expat will feel pressure, guilt and responsibility to try to make everyone happy, as they have been the one responsible for uprooting and bringing the family to this new place. It is not unusual for the expat family, particularly the adults, to become very insular and co-dependent. This is not all bad of course, o�en expat families become much closer as the interdependence and reliance on each other for social and emotional support is deepened. But this can also be draining and limiting. Finding trusted caregivers so the adults can have the time and space to be a couple, to mix with other couples and keep their relationship solid can also be something that is sacrificed. Again then, identity is diminished and this can further add to dissatisfaction.

This can create frustration and tension. When not a�ended to this can result in a spiral where relationships deteriorate and the family environment, o�en the thing that most people want to maintain, is eroded.

SO, WHAT STRATEGIES ARE AVAILABLE TO MINIMISE AND MANAGE IN THIS SITUATION?

Increase awareness and manage expectationsThis involves increasing the self-awareness of the family about what is likely to be experienced. With this insight and knowledge it is then possible to make plans to help minimise the impact, recognise it when it does turn up and quickly take action to address the feelings and situations when they arise.

It can be beneficial to discuss these issues early on, even as part of the decision-making process about moving. A discussion working step by step through the following points can shed light on potentially problematic areas:

‘What is my current state?’ Discuss and identify the important factors, people and situations that contribute to the expat partner’s sense of identity. Consider both professional and personal contexts, as well any voluntary and community groups and hobbies or leisure activities.

Expat Transitions

The Impact on the Expat Family

New SurroundingsOnce the key areas have been noted, look for similar situations in the new country. Will there, for example, be opportunities to pursue the same leisure activities or join groups of like-minded people?

What is the Gap?Now look for the gaps between what the expat partner relies on in the home country for their sense of identity and what will be available to them in Australia.

Solutions How can these gaps possibly be bridged or alternatives identified once you move?

There are a number of ways of doing this process. Excellent resources such as Bryson & Hoge’s book ‘A Portable Identity’ can be used as a self-guided tool. Alternatively, using a mentor or a coach to help test the thinking, realities and pragmatisms of the thinking can be invaluable to establishing a realistic understanding and expectation.

From this base it can be powerful to be ‘forewarned’ and therefore proactive about what actions to undertake to minimise the disturbance and to successfully embed the family into the new location and have a brilliant expat experience.

Working with the expat partner and family is part of OSULLIVANFIELD’s The Expat Program.

Phase 4: Basic CompetenceBasic competence in the practices in any country takes between 2 – 4 years from the start of your posting. Despite the challenges, most expatriates are able to develop functional proficiency in the local environment within a couple of years from relocation. In current practice, it is o�en at this point that an expatriate posting completes. It seems just when people are ‘ge�ing the hang of things’ it is time to relocate again.

Phase 5: MasteryTo make substantial and sustainable progress, they generally need strong relationships with people. This requires a lot of time. Various studies and experience has shown that at least five to seven years are necessary to develop a deep appreciation of the country and its opportunities.

LOSS OF IDENTITY

Our experience with expatriates and their families is that one of the greatest challenges faced by the partner of the expatriate, who is le� without a sense of meaning, purpose and identity. This can create great unhappiness and drive unhelpful pa�erns of behaviour that negatively impact the family and the expatriate experience.

So much energy and e�ort is expended on the logistics of the physical move and, while necessary, this can distract from a�ending to the things that will have the most significant impact on psycho-logical wellbeing, happiness and relationships a�er the initial flurry of se�ling in.

What becomes apparent is that in the ‘home environment’—the country and city that is being le�— the partner has an established infrastructure and support network created through years of living in the same community. A significant portion of an individual’s personal sense of meaning and value is derived from roles played and contributions made. This may include work, study, commu-nity involvement, church, charities, sports and schools. The challenge is that, in the new location, many of the elements on which the expat partner depended and formed the basis of their identity, may be no longer available. While some may just take time and e�ort to re establish in the new location, challenges such as the loss of identity through working, for example, may not. Many people spend years establishing careers. However, due to visa restrictions it is not unusual for the expat’s partner to be unable to undertake paid work even in their qualified area.

With the move to the new location, the ability to connect with the established mechanisms is weakened through lack of proximity, time zones and sheer opportunity. The power of a�achment to, and the fulfilment gained from, these roles cannot be underestimated. A void will be created. It can be lonely. A common issue encountered is finding and establishing relationships and friendships in the new location. Human beings are social by nature. We crave and need companion-ship and connection with others.

The challenge in an expatriate assignment can be the experience of only having transactional relationships rather than those with depth and meaning. The expatriate experience in Australia is di�erent to that in other areas such as Singapore or Dubai, where the expatriate communities are more obvious in that there are compounds designed for expatriate living. Therefore, meeting other expatriate families is made easier purely because of accommodation choices. This is not the case in Australia. The choice of where to live is more abundant and o�en made based on the location of the new workplace.

Phase 1: HoneymoonThis covers the initial four to six weeks in the new country, and is characterised by the understand-able excitement of being in a new country. Everything is new and interesting. It is an adventure.

Phase 2: Culture ShockOnce the honeymoon phase is over, culture shock o�en sets in and can last for six to eight months. Expatriates quickly begin to comprehend the magnitude of the challenges of living and working in a di�erent country. Because nothing is familiar, even the most routine tasks require additional e�ort. During this time expats and their families discover that methods and pa�erns used successfully in previous locations are either worthless or even destructive in another cultural environment.

The result can be that expatriate manager can become distressed, frustrated and ine�ective in their job. Then, when they arrive home, they are usually faced with family members who are even more traumatised.

The combination of severe adjustments at both work and home results is classic culture shock symptoms: frustration, anger, confusion, distrust of others. There is no happy place to be during this period. If not recognised and addressed, people can become ‘stuck’ in this phase and this can be the lasting memory expatriates and their families take with them when they leave the country.

Phase 3: Gradual AdjustmentDuring this phase, which can last from one to two years, self-confidence and e�ectiveness is regained in a steady but di�cult process. Through trial and error, and by building relationships, you gradually come to understand the need to adapt to the local culture before trying to manage it. Expatriates and their families eventually come to appreciate local customs, cuisine and business practices.

THE IMPACT ON THE EXPAT FAMILY

While the move brings an exciting opportunity for the expat, what is happening for their family? For many families, the relocation can be viewed as a great imposition rather than a wonderful adventure.

Relocation can create challenging circumstances, particularly for the ‘trailing spouse’, which is not supported by the standard ‘transactional’ relocation services provided by most organisations. This paper explores some of the common experiences of` partners and families and provides some strategies and ideas to increase the likelihood of creating an enjoyable experience with wonderful memories.

THE UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF EXPATRIATE ASSIGNMENTS

If awareness, planning and support are not in place, the result can be an unhappy partner who may (not necessarily consciously) create an environment that negatively a�ects the performance of the expatriate manager.

In fact, one of the most significant factors in the derailment of expatriate assignments is where the partner and or the family struggle in the transition to their new life and circumstances. Sadly, marriage breakdown is not an uncommon result. Uno�cial numbers claim that upwards of 50 per cent of their expatriate marriages fail due to the stress of o�shore postings.

Two of the major contributors to spousal and family disharmony are the impacts of Culture Shock and the issue of Identity. The following details these areas.

CULTURE SHOCKIt is common for even the most flexible people to endure an initial period of stress when starting their expatriate posting. Commonly known as culture shock, this psychological a�iction results when people become anxious and confused in a di�erent environment.

Given the large demands on the expatriate from the organisation, partners and families spend a lot of time by themselves in an unfamiliar environment, cut o� from their extended family, friends and known contacts. During this time, they are usually dealing with challenges they have not encoun-tered before e.g. new school, banking, medical, housing, communications companies, in an unfamil-iar environment.

In this state, they experience homesickness, depression, irritability and frustration. This experience occurs not only for the expat but for all members of their accompanying family. It can create a very challenging environment and, if not managed, can become a contributor to expatriate failure. Culture shock is known to move through a number of phases. Understanding the cycles with culture shock is important so there are no surprises as you travel through them. This information can be used to make sure appropriate planning and action can take place to make as smooth a transition as possible.

What is critical here is that most current expat assignments are for three years or less. The challenge is to fast track through the flux so that mastery can be a�ained in a far shorter timeframe.

Experienced expat partners will already understand that in the new location the local people have no need to include you in their lives. The locals already have full lives with connections and relationships. Expats find Australians are very friendly but not necessarily inclusive. They will happily chat, spend time in passing but beyond this they will not necessarily make an e�ort to include others. In the absence of personal connections expat partners can feel that, in the new location, they are only defined by their role in relation to others for example, chiefly their partner and children. In response, a common pa�ern is an escalating emphasis on the expatriate executive partner to provide company, social stimulation and fill the void. This can show up as lots of calls, demands to be home, be involved in activities and lack of flexibility in time. While the expat will only want the best for the family, this is a period when they will have multiple demands. Starting a new job is consuming: working in a new company, taking on a new team and being in a new location are all demanding and require e�ort. All of these things on their own would demand time and a�ention but in combination the time demands are extraordinary. To then have the family making demands only adds to the challenges. It’s likely the expat will feel pressure, guilt and responsibility to try to make everyone happy, as they have been the one responsible for uprooting and bringing the family to this new place. It is not unusual for the expat family, particularly the adults, to become very insular and co-dependent. This is not all bad of course, o�en expat families become much closer as the interdependence and reliance on each other for social and emotional support is deepened. But this can also be draining and limiting. Finding trusted caregivers so the adults can have the time and space to be a couple, to mix with other couples and keep their relationship solid can also be something that is sacrificed. Again then, identity is diminished and this can further add to dissatisfaction.

This can create frustration and tension. When not a�ended to this can result in a spiral where relationships deteriorate and the family environment, o�en the thing that most people want to maintain, is eroded.

SO, WHAT STRATEGIES ARE AVAILABLE TO MINIMISE AND MANAGE IN THIS SITUATION?

Increase awareness and manage expectationsThis involves increasing the self-awareness of the family about what is likely to be experienced. With this insight and knowledge it is then possible to make plans to help minimise the impact, recognise it when it does turn up and quickly take action to address the feelings and situations when they arise.

It can be beneficial to discuss these issues early on, even as part of the decision-making process about moving. A discussion working step by step through the following points can shed light on potentially problematic areas:

‘What is my current state?’ Discuss and identify the important factors, people and situations that contribute to the expat partner’s sense of identity. Consider both professional and personal contexts, as well any voluntary and community groups and hobbies or leisure activities. e-mail: info@osullivanfield.com

mobile: +61 417 863 324

telephone: 1300 082 870

www.osullivanfield.com

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Expat Transitions