When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

}  Can I set limits and still be a loving person? }  What are legitimate boundaries? }  What if someone is upset or hurt by my

boundaries? }  How do I answer someone who wants my time,

love, money, or energy? }  Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider

setting boundaries? }  Why is it difficult for me to hear no from another

person? }  Aren’t boundaries selfish?

}  Define what is “me” and “not me” }  Helps me keep the good in and the bad out }  Show me what I am to own and take

responsibility for

}  We are responsible to others and for ourselves

}  Galatians 6:2 & 6:5 - Burdens versus loads }  Excess burdens that can crush us – times of

crisis and tragedy }  Daily load – everyday things we all need to do }  Luke 9:23

}  Help us distinguish our “property” so that we can take care of it – to keep things that will nurture us inside our fences and keep things that will harm us outside – the good in and the bad out

}  Need “gates” to let the bad out when it’s inside (Mark 7:21-23, James 5:16, 1 John 1:9)

}  And to let the good in when it’s outside (John 1:12, Revelation 3:20, 2 Corinthians 6:11-13)

}  The concept of boundaries comes from the very nature of God – He defines himself as a distinct, separate being, who is responsible for himself

}  He tells us about himself (Genesis 12:2, Jeremiah 3:12, Ezekiel 6:9)

}  Differentiates himself (Leviticus 11:44, Isaiah 48:12, 1 John 4:16)

}  Limits what he will allow (Exodus 20:1-17, Matthew 5:21-6:4)

}  Skin }  Words, especially “no” }  Truth }  Geographical Distance }  Time }  Emotional Distance }  Other People }  Consequences

}  Feelings – signals that alert us to the condition of our heart

}  Attitudes – orientation toward something }  Beliefs – anything you accept as truth }  Behaviors – reaping and sowing }  Choices – owning them leads to self-control }  Values – what we love and assign importance to }  Thoughts – do you let others do your thinking for you? }  Desires – wants, dreams, wishes, goals }  Love – need to claim our hearts – ability to give and

receive love is our greatest gift

}  Do you have any confusion about boundaries – about when and how to draw them, or even if they are okay? What do you think fostered this confusion?

}  What burdens have you taken on that God may have never intended you to take on? What motivated you to do so?

}  Do you tend to feel responsible for other people’s feelings, choices, and behaviors?

}  Are there choices in your life you have failed to take responsibility for? Who are you blaming for the circumstances in your life?