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30 Timeless Love and Life Lessons

What Subscribers are saying about 30 Timeless Love and Life Lessons?

****************************************************************************** "Dear Bowie, Your down-to-earth story struck a chord with me. Thanks for sharing the Love and Life Lessons that had helped you in your life with me! It had encouraged me to believe in myself and to strive for greater personal success and happier love life! All the best to you! Regards, Nicole C"

****************************************************************************** "Bowie, I am inspired by your story! You prove that despite the many obstacles in life, we can still overcome them and turn adversity to opportunities. A life-changing book filled with useful life and love lessons. Regards, Andrea" ******************************************************************************

30 Timeless Love and Life Lessons by Bowie Chan www.bowiechan.com

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****************************************************************************** Bowie, "I didn’t know you had so much in your life. Your story is a motivation for everyone who suffers from a heart break. Pick yourself up and love better! Thank you so much for selflessly sharing and your gift to this world will certainly make this a better place. Cheers. Regards, Hubert" ******************************************************************************



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awesome life. Every effort has been made to make this eBook as complete and

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Remember why you are doing this

Why don’t start a life here

Life is not a fairytale

Turn Ashes into Beauty

30 Timeless Love & Life Lessons

Dare to dream big

Have a little faith in yourself

Live a purpose driven life

Set your goal

Keep your vision in front of you

Have a positive mindset

Follow your heart and passion

Make imperfect progress

Change your words, change your life

Do it afraid

Forgiveness is a sign of strength

Use your time wisely

Try again

Commit to excellence

Keep growing

Spend wisely early in life



Love health to live well

Pay less attention to what men say. Watch what they do

Care for others, and do so sincerely

Set healthy boundaries

Appreciate the little things in life

The beautiful art of listening

Money can never satisfy you but true love can

We love the cheerful givers

Have integrity even when no one sees it

Do not settle for the less

You are responsible for your own happiness

Women need unconditional love, men need unconditional

respect

You don’t have to be wrong to apologize

Walk by faith not by feelings

(BONUS) Relationships require continuous work and

maintenance

Conclusion

Resources



Introduction

I have written this book to give you the ray of hope you are waiting for. Life has

taught me so much, and I have so many experiences to tell you. Throughout my life, I

had to face a vast amount of different situations, financial difficulty, low self-esteem,

painful break-ups and loss of hope. So many evenings I spent sitting on my couch,

destroyed, feeling huge disappointment, whether it was from people or my

objectives failing to be achieved. I, like everyone else, made so many mistakes, that I

certainly do not regret. I kept trying to chase my dreams, but I didn’t know I was

following all the wrong paths. When I thought I had something, it would just slip

through my fingers. Not happy, not successful, I kept on wondering how was it

possible for me to get out of that life that surrounded me.

This book is going to give you insight, hope and a second chance. I will share my

learning and life lessons, which had helped me so much to get to the happiness I

waited for so long. Don’t feel like you are hopeless, or that you just ran out of luck.

Your own joyful life is just around the corner and I will help you get there. Learn

from my experiences, and use this wise advice to achieve your objectives.

Always in my thoughts,

Bowie Chan

Life-affirming and Success Coach,

www.bowiechan.com




Remember why you are doing this…

It all began back in 1984, in a very little village in Malaysia. It’s a place called

Rantau in Malaysia. It might not have enormous buildings, or a vast selection of

stores, but it was my home. My family was very humble. In fact, our house was made

completely out of wood. For some people it would seem like a movie set, or

something very rare at the very least. To me, that was my reality and day by day. My

grandfather built it with his own working hands.

It was not until a few years later that I could have siblings: a little girl and a little

boy. I fell in love with them completely. We were very united as a family, and I thank

them all the values I have. They wanted to give us the best education possible, but

that meant we had to move out of Rantau. So, we did, years later, moved to

Seremban to have a way better education than the one we would have had in

Rantau.

In my school years, I was always the girl who was really introverted and shy in

the class. I was not very confident, so I had some trouble with my social skills.

Beautiful college, enormous campus, a promising future with an excellent career…

that’s all I was dreaming of. I pictured myself standing in front of my proud family,

holding my diploma. The problem was, I wanted to go to the United States or The

United Kingdom. There was a huge money barrier between me and my objective.

“Remember why you are doing this,” I kept on saying to myself, as I made an

enormous effort to wake up at five am. If my parents could not afford my education

in another country, my only hope was to be the best student I could possibly be.

Pictures of those campuses, motivational notes, relaxing music, I had everything

prepared to take my grades to an outstanding level. I put so much effort into

studying, and I slowly started to celebrate my achievements.



Why don’t start a life here?

I remember I was standing in the bathroom when I got the call. I almost cried,

they were talking about how great my grades were, and that they were going to give

me a four year scholarship in the UK, until…

“Sorry, we can’t sponsor it. You will have to pay that part yourself,” they told me

through the phone. I felt absolutely crushed inside of me, I could almost hear it.

Desperate I ran to my father and begged him. Literally, knees on the floor, in a state

of hopelessness, I told him he HAD to help me get there. So much time spent

studying the hardest in my life; I could not just simply throw all that through the

window. At first he was kind of hesitant. He saw the pain in my eyes and promised

to think about it. The “why don’t start a life here?” conversation began, and I did my

best to explain to him why. I had a strong sense of vision at that point, and I knew it

was my destiny to go there no matter what, to ensure my future. We talked for

hours, until he finally understood. That was one of the biggest relieves I felt in my

life.

Fast forward to when I achieved my objective: I got my Master’s Degree in the

UK. Although I felt so lonely sometimes, and missed my family like never before, I

managed to study as hard as before and ensure myself a future.

My humble home built by my grandfather with his own working hands.



After graduating, I got a job very quickly. My friends went on vacation, but I

decided to start making money for myself to pay the loan and save money. I wanted

my future, my own career, my complete independence. That’s when I met him.

As I write these words, I can still remember how our love felt in the very

beginning. He was such a caring young man, exactly how I pictured my ideal mate

when I first started thinking about dating men. He was also really successful: he had

a business that was doing really, really well. I decided that I could give it a try and

made my own online business as well, selling skincare products. All my life I was

taught not to take too many risks, but I wanted to live a different life than the one

my parents had planned for me. I was so happy and in love, that I could not let that

opportunity simply go.

Great things happened after that. I could save money to afford an amazing

holiday, and visited more than ten countries in Europe and Asia. When we got back

from that trip, my boyfriend prepared a special dinner night at a fancy restaurant. I

could not believe my eyes when he, surrounded by musicians, he bent a knee and

proposed. As I said yes, I imagined our perfect life together.

My top-rated holiday in Switzerland funded by my online after graduating.

When I was small, and Christmas trees are tall… Christmas celebration in Sheffield, UK

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Life is not a fairytale

It wasn’t like that. Before our wedding, my fiancé’s business started to fail very

quickly, and we went into a big debt. We started selling our things, including our

cars, to try to pay that. He insisted on keeping that business alive, despite the sales

being so low. I trusted him. We had to move to Hong Kong to get another job and

start working things out, as we parallel to that tried to recover his business.

A business partner that we had ran with all our money and completely

disappeared. Needless to say, our debt grew so much after that. There was nothing I

could do, but to take care of myself and try to get a better job. The good part is that I

did manage to get a better job opportunity. The bad news, my fiancé started to act

really weird. He would not leave the house for several days or he didn’t even want to

get out of the bed sometimes. I tried to talk things over, understand him, but I

couldn’t. He was not being happy, and I could do nothing about it. The moment I

sadly expected came… he wanted to end things between us. It was so hard and

unexpected for me, especially because he went out of my life without even letting

me know from him anymore. He disappeared.

My dream of Love, Marriage and a Baby Carriage was crushed. I started losing so

much weight. My hopes were nowhere to be found, my dreams were a thousand

pieces of broken glass on my floor, and I was mentally a mess. At night, I would

huddle with my giant Teddy Bear and cry myself to sleep. I found myself in long,

miserable, and soul crushing breakup. I could not perform in my career and almost

lose my job. I was still in a hard position financially. Why my friends were so

successful compared to me? I felt so left behind, so unaccomplished. I labelled

myself as total failure. I grew more and more detached with the world. I was so

negative that some my friends started to leave me.

Years passed... I was constantly seeking the meaning of life. I didn’t want to fall

into depression, so I desperately started to look out for answers, anything, no matter

how small, to help me go through that.

Turn Ashes into Beauty

Self-help books were my starting point. I knew I had to do something about it,

and they seemed to be a solution. Maybe, that way, I could lift my good energy and

start attracting good things. At first, I did not believe such a thing was even possible,

http://bowiechan.com/MagicofMakingUp

http://bowiechan.com/SecretBrainSystem



but I had to give it I try. What was the worst that could happen? I was so low that I

did not even care. I didn’t listen to my inner critic, who insisted that those books

were of no good use. I also started to go to church, as I had never done it before in

my entire life. Things were slowly starting to transform.

I learned so much from these books, including '' The Law of Attraction'', ''The

Richest Man from Babylon", ''Life Without Limits'','' In the Eyes of the Storm'', ''8

Undeniable Qualities of a Winner'', ''Greater'', '' Woman & Money", ''Lean In'' and

many more. They changed my perspective on life. I acquired so much knowledge on

how to start thinking positively, and to speak the language of success on a daily

basis. Then it happened: I could notice little things changing, my efforts, giving me a

rewarding positive energy.

A great job opportunity appeared. It was the first great positive change I had in

my life. I was making more money than before, and felt that I could have that

financial stability finally. Although I was a very introverted person, I wanted to take

this position as a sales person. I had no experience whatsoever, but they still wanted

me working for them.

As an introvert, working as a sales position was not without hardships. I was

working amidst of talented expatriates fluent in English, confident and well versed

in presentations and there are times I felt myself so small. Negative chatters would

keep whispering by my ears. At times, I would fall back to my “old-self”. But I thank

God that I was surrounded with positive people who never failed to encourage me

and give me hope to never give up.

Some training had to be done in courses for sales and presentation skills for me

to get to a higher level of capability. I also read a very helpful book, called '' How to

Win Friends and Influence People'' and it made me improve my success greatly. It

has changed me from an introvert to a more sociable person. To be honest, I never

thought I could be such an amazing salesperson.

I knew I was doing extremely well when another headhunter approached me to

offer an even better job for the same position. I basically had to do the same, with a

greater salary in a way better firm. Not only that, I also decided to reactivate my

online business as my second source of income. I have more time focusing on the

more important things in my life such as my family. That income allowed me to take

my family to vacation at least once a year. That was the first time in our lives that

such a thing was possible. We visited so many countries, and had such amazing


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memories. If I hadn’t learned all the lessons I know, if I hadn’t pick myself up, I may

not be having those memories now.

And that’s not all…I’m no longer just trying to ‘’get by’’ but I have more time

spending on hobbies that I like playing golf and dancing salsa.

When good things happen, you start feeling very grateful. To give back, I started

doing charity work. It is one of the most rewarding experiences that there is. Being

able to influence in other people’s lives, it’s beyond words. I radiate happiness now;

I even look way better, feel much better and receive so many more compliments.

Annual family trip in Melbourne, Australia, 2014

Attending Gala Dinner in Singapore.

http://bowiechan.com/LikeabilityBlueprint



So, are you ready? Next, I will share with you the thirty lessons that led me to

have the happy life that I have now, even after all that had happened to me in the

past. Time is finite in this world, and I really I wish I knew all these lessons when I

was younger. I can’t stress enough on how important it is to have the right mindset

and belief. We all have dreams, be it big or small… let me tell you the first thing I

learned: you can’t accomplish them if you are not thinking in a certain way. You

need to incorporate these lessons carefully, to really get the message. They are going

to be concise, to the point, very easy to learn.

I will be your guide in your new way of thinking and living. You also have a

brighter future, like the one I now have. I hope my life story will inspire you and give

you hope. I hope they will help you to shorten your route to success and live a

happier life. Let the good energy fill your soul as you read through these thirty

crucial love and life lessons that I wish someone would have thought me before.

Don’t make the same mistake: learn them now, ensure your own happiness and

success. You don’t have to keep on feeling so blue, it’s time for you to change that.

Salsa dancing that helps me to lose weight and be more confident.

Weekend golf with friends in Malaysia.



30 Timeless

Love and Life Lessons



1. Dare to Dream Big

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody

special, somebody big, and somebody who put a dent in the world just like Steve

Jobs. When I was young, I dreamed of being a great pianist and I dreamed of being a

great Salsa dancer. I would always close my eyes and envision myself up on stage

playing piano and dancing Salsa to the screams of the crowd. Who hasn't fantasized

about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of

being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich,

or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, months

after months, years after years, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our

aspirations easily collect dust in our attic. This is a sad turn of events in our life.

Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self-actualization, we get caught up in

the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

Think it can’t happen; then it won’t. The most common problem to setting goals

and dreaming big is the word “impossible”. Most people get hung up thinking I can't

do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. I don’t have enough money. No one can do

this. If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will

never be able to break past what you deem impossible. You will never put one foot

forward just to take the first step.

Too often we are thinking small about ourselves. Who am I to do this? Who am I

to change the world? Listening to your inner critic can sabotage your dreams.

http://bowiechan.com/ManifestationMiracle



How many times have you abandoned an idea, project or dream because

someone made a disparaging remark or rolled their eyes when you told them about

it? All too frequently we allow others to dictate what is good, right or possible. We

allow them to steal our dreams. Notice I use the word "allow." You may have no

choice when you were young and immature where you had to follow the path that

your parents have paved for you. But when you grow older and have the ability to

make decisions for yourselves, let no one put you down, stomp on your dream, or

kill an idea of yours unless you allow them to.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible

for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you

could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they

would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance,

these impossible dreams are now realities.

Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you

are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is

as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! We still have the ability to dream big, no matter how old or

young. Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work

hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just

about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible. Take

the necessary actions to achieve your goals. Stop assuming and start achieving!

~~Food for Thought~~

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

— Walt Disney



2. Have a little faith in yourself

Believing in yourself can be a very difficult task for some people. It may because

when you were growing up, you were told by your parents or your teachers that you

are not good enough. If you think you have nothing to offer, nothing that you excel

at, or even believe you are unworthy of many things … you won’t be able to see

many opportunities and achieve many things in life. You will have a lot of turmoil,

struggles, frustrations and you will not be able to enjoy life because you are thinking

so low of yourselves. It might sound harsh, but it is the way things are. It is time to

change that way of thinking and reject that subconscious self-condemnation and

self-pity.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in

every difficulty.”

—Winston Churchill

Everybody has some mental doubt in themselves including the most successful

people. Believe that you are unique and certainly have many different capabilities.

What you have may seem small. If you look back at your life, you will notice that you

have achieved many things already. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you received a

trophy for of it. Sometimes, there are some accomplishments that only you know

about. But only because they don’t have the recognition that they deserve, does not

mean they do not count. Think back to a time, when something was difficult and you

were able to overcome the challenge. Look back and really think about the impact

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these things have in your life right now. I can bet that if you hadn’t gone through

them, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.

I have to admit that during the teenage years of my life, I did not exactly live life

to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried

about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. One of my many

weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I

would easily get upset if people criticised me.

After reading so many self-help books and attending motivational seminars, I

have decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and

work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier; in fact it

makes it a lot harder. I should have faith and constant expectation of good. If

something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it

when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

There was also once I was told I was completely useless before, but that didn’t

stop me. I chose to ignore those false accusations and believe in myself. I believe I

have great destiny waiting for me. What others say about you, will never define you.

Who you are is what you believe in your mind.

Notice and know your skills, your capabilities, and focus on your strength as

they are going to help you get through things in life. Even the tiniest or insignificant

things can mean a big difference. Embrace the reality; you are as suited as everyone

else at what you can do. Silence the critic by reaffirming all the things you are

capable of doing. Be excited about your future. Find and release your untapped

talents. Believe in your abilities and discover what you have to offer the world.

Think about all the things you can’t do and try to do them.

Put your shoulders back and hold you head up high. Celebrate yourself. As

simple as that sounds it is: you are worth so much more than what you think.

You can, You will!


“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that

voice will be silenced.”

—Vincent Van Gogh

http://bowiechan.com/PanicAway



3. Live a purpose driven life

I think that nearly everyone at some point in their life has wondered, "What is

the purpose of my life?"

People like Steve Jobs are visionaries that have sought to bring about such shifts

in society and in business. This is about recognizing your truth as to how you wish

to BE in the world. See the vision, see the outcome, feel the purpose and passion

you're driven to offer the world, and give it freely. We all die. You can’t take

anything from this life with you. So give what you have to offer the world. What is

not given is lost forever.

Do you realize the world richest people like Bill Gate, Warren Buffet and Mark

Zuckerberg; they pledge to give away their wealth for charitable purpose to make a

difference to other people? It does not have to be monetary; it can be a new

innovation and invention that make other people’s lives much better. You do not

need millions to be generous. Anything you can give out of the goodness of your

heart is perfect. Be the change you want to see in this world and help your fellow

man. You will be happier for it.

What’s your legacy? How do you want to be remembered? The life you live

defines who you are and the choices you make will determine what impact you will

have on the lives of others. Never underestimate the power of your words and

actions. You were uniquely created to make a contribution to the world. It is your

right and your obligation to make your mark in this world. Surround yourself with

people who are supportive, positive and encouraging. Show appreciation and

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gratitude to those around you. If you have a message to share, then share it with the

world. Staying small and thinking small will not get you where you need to be in life.

Starting today, have a new perspective on life. Start a new chapter in your life.

We all have different lenses, different gifts, different wiring, and different

experiences. Difference is not something to be judged, it is a gift of diversity that

brings the pieces of the puzzle of life together and creates a society, a solution, a

technology, etc., together for the benefit of us all. Don’t doubt yourself when others

cannot see the vision you see. Keep true, keep your intentions, and you will attract

the right support, the right people, and the right opportunities.

If your goal is to truly bring about a positive change and serve others, how it is

accomplished becomes less important and seeing it accomplished becomes more

important. Therefore, when we contemplate our lives and set our goals, maybe it

would be a good idea if we thought about others first.

Why knowing your purpose in life is so important? Because it will explain the

meaning of your life, it will simplify your life, it will focus your life and it will

increase your motivation.


“The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.”

― Robert F. Kennedy

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/98221.Robert_F_Kennedy



4. Set your goal

You may be smart, you may be talented, you may be handsome, but you aren’t

successful. After all, the guy that never was that gifted or never had great ideas and

he has less brains than you, is now your supervisor!

How did that happen? Why do all of us with the knack to be great, never saw

our dreams come true? And what is the common characteristic between successful

people? What divides successful people from non-successful is that the former had a

particular goal in their life and worked hard to achieve it. On the contrary, people

that had many goals and ideas, but spent more time talking about them than

working on them, never managed to make their dreams come true.

So, the first thing you have to do in order to succeed is to find a goal. How do you

imagine yourself in five or ten years from now? Would you like to have your present

job? Would you like to be sitting in a small office, working many hours for little

money? Or do you see yourself on a quiet beach, on a vacation with your family? If

the second option seems better to you, maybe you need a better paid job. Think of

all the alternatives. For instance, is it better for you to keep your present job and try

to get promoted, or should you apply for another job? Or maybe you should think of

starting your own business?

Your goal must be specific. If your goal is not clear, you will never manage to

achieve it. When you have your specific goal, write it down. It is always helpful when

you see your thoughts in writing.



If your goal seems too difficult to achieve, divide it into smaller goals where each

of them will consist of a small step which will bring you closer to your initial goal.

Commit to a goal in a meaningful way, personalize it & make it your own. For

example, when I started to learn forex trading, instead of mastering all strategies at

one time, I master one strategy at one time until I am successful and then move on

to the next, double the goal, challenge the limits and create a regular practice.

Sooner or later you will reach your destination.

Separate realistic from lofty goals, but don’t throw lofty goals out. Also, separate

short-term goals, from long-term goals, and design estimated time frames, for

measured results. You don’t have to share this with anyone, unless they share the

same goal. If you have, at least, one close friend, spouse, or family, who shares the

same dream, you are in a very strong position.


“The game has its ups and downs, but you can never lose focus of your individual goals

and you can't let yourself be beat because of lack of effort.”

― Michael Jordan

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5. Keep your vision in front of you.

It is well known that we move forward according to what we constantly see. It’s

something that you probably won’t understand right away. It might even sound silly

to some people, and it’s perfectly fine. Keeping something in front of you, even if it’s

just symbolic, as a reminder of your dreams and goals, can mean the difference

between actually achieving them or not.

Write all of your goals down, and keep them in a place that you will see. This

could be on a piece of paper in your pocket, on your desk top, in a notebook, in your

diary, or on your palm pilot. Wherever you put this information, it should be a place

where you will see it, every day.

Have a photo of your inspiration, or someone you really look up to, and put it

somewhere you would be able to see almost constantly. Every time you need that bit

of energy to get through things, or when you feel like you are not in the right path of

to your success, look at this photo and feel the passion slowly growing again in you.

If you see it, you are moving towards it. It helps your imagination to create the

illusion that you are already there, stimulating your brain and energy field to work

towards that direction.

In fact, once you see the results of this, you will want to keep motivational

frames, photos, even paint a whole wall with picture that inspires you. Your house

will start filling with beautiful things to keep you on track every single day, even at

your worst situation. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a photo: do you want to

become a successful writer? Put your work, even if it’s not even finished or you



think it’s “not good enough” aside other books of the same genre but written by

successful writers. It will feel weird at first, when your bookshelf suddenly has your

work on it, but keep it close to you and pay good attention to it. Remember those

amazing books you read, that are right there by your book, and think: Why can’t my

book be as great as those? Why can’t I have a place on a bookshelf too?

This example shows how we trick our minds into thinking that we are already

at the same level of those who have accomplished what you most desire. It’s not

about faking it, you are just encouraging yourself even in the deepest of your mind,

that you are able and surely WILL make your dreams and goals come true.


“If you are working on something exciting that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” — Steve Jobs



6. Have a positive mindset.

Being positive is so much more important than what most people really think it

is. A positive person can get to the point where they can anticipate happiness,

success and good health. Your own positivity allows you to overcome the hardest

situation. Without this mindset, things are really difficult to face. Its benefits are

incredibly high.

In today’s society, positive thinking is not really well accepted. Some people

think it is just “a waste of time and energy” that things don’t happen for a reason,

and that life is going to be bad no matter what. Negative people tend to drag

everyone to their low level of mind and to keep you from reaching your highest

potential. People will label you ‘’too slow’’, ‘’too old’’, ‘’make too many mistakes’’. If

you dwell in negativity long enough, it will take root and make you feel inferior.

Those thoughts of ‘’I’m not good enough’’, ‘’ I can never achieve that’’ will play in

your mind again and again.

Removing the negative thoughts is not easy to deal with. Remember, the ONLY

power that negative thought has to you is the power you give to it. Use that power

and change it to a positive thought. For example, if some is telling you ‘’ you are a

failure’’, don’t take that label that they are trying to stick on you. Believe that what

other people are say on you do not define who you are. Label yourself as ‘’I am

worthy of success’’.

Once you start to get a hang of it, your eyes will start to glow more often, with

expectation for the happy future that waits for you. You will have more energy, even

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if you work the same amount of hours or make the same effort every day. With this

new mindset, you are going to feel extremely light and free from your negative

thoughts.

Remember this: positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. Not

only will you have a huge impact on yourself, but also in those around you. People

will notice a change even in your body language, because everything in you is going

to be facing that positive and happy direction. It’s an ongoing process, which you can

start right now. Pick a side, because this will determine if your whole being is going

to broadcast positive energy and vibes, or not. Spend more time with people are

positive and encourage you to be the best of you.


“Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours.” —Tom Hopkins



7. Follow your heart and passion.

Your passion and dreams are what keep you alive. You wake up in the morning,

and you know it. Success can easily be compared to the “genie trapped in a bottle.”

For many of us, it is a matter of finding a way to open the bottle, and then, follow a

specific path. This path is filled with pitfalls, and traps, along the way, so it is wise to

expand your vision by learning as you go.

Maybe you are not exactly sure what it is yet, but don’t be desperate. Try

different things, go out and explore. There is always something you aspire to do or

become. But always have a goal, a purpose.

Many people already knows what really matters to them but are clouded with

daily excuses and conflicting priorities that restricts them from following their

lifelong wishes. If you want to find your passion you must let your heart and true

calling guide you.

If you hate your job, quit and try to get another one. Majority of the working

people confess to experience a disconnection between having a job and doing what

they are really passionate about. Many of these people are experiencing irregular

sleeping habits, stress, and left for years wondering what really matters in their life.

Since work is not just an eight-hour interruption of the day and you spend most of

waking hours on it, it is important to start finding your passion and incorporate it in

your job. Whether you like it or not, you are affected by choices you make at your

job.

Time is limited and do not waste it on doing things that you hate and don’t enjoy

at all. Everybody chooses his own life. What you choose must be something you love



doing, and the money and fulfillment will follow. There are so many people, who

craft an occupation, based upon money alone, and learn to regret it. It is inevitable

to go through a phase where things don’t go exactly as we want them to go, while we

are chasing our dreams. This is completely normal. But don’t let this phase become

hell on earth for you: you deserve to be happy, even when you haven't achieved

your dreams yet.

Ask yourself these questions: “What made your greatest work experience so

great? What made your worst experience so bad? What is the most important thing

missing from your life right now? Who is most important to you? What lesson has

served you best throughout your career? What message has been bouncing inside

your head for the past year? Who influenced you the most?” The answers to these

questions are the lessons you learned in your work life. Ponder on them; it will keep

you always on track to your passions in life.

Once you are really motivated and excited about following your passion, heart

and dreams, you will attract other people that are doing exactly the same. They are

very important for you, as you will be able to share your experiences and hopes for

the future. You will have similar ways of thinking, which can also lead to a lasting

friendship. If you let these people into your life, you will go even further than you

imagine. Interact with them, and help them achieve their dreams too.

The same way other people are an inspiration to you, you can become an

inspiration to them. Someone who is determined and focused on their goals is to be

admired. You will wake this feeling in others, probably people you love, and they

will wonder “Why can’t I be like that too?” That question is going to change their

lives. And you were one of the reasons why they asked it to themselves.

Prove everyone that once told you not to chase your dreams wrong. They don’t

have the right to reflect their failures into you. Be kind to them, but show your

success once you have it. It might also inspire them to follow that example you are

giving. Following your heart and passion means to love yourself, and to be proud of

the road you are walking. You will not regret it.


“Your true passion should feel like breathing; it’s that natural.”

— Oprah Winfrey

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3518.Oprah_Winfrey



8. Make imperfect progress.

We all make mistakes. It has been said a million times, but it is never enough.

We all want to do magically well: not a single mistake, the path so easy to transit, so

clear, right to where we want to be.

When a child learns to ride a bicycle, there are plenty of falls along the way, and

then the falling stops. However, even skilled adults fall off bicycles, sometimes. So,

don’t take past failures personally. Put them behind you and learn from each one.

You will always learn from mistakes. When you see them clearly as a test, examine

the results, and study them closely for the reason why they went wrong.

Making imperfect progress should be one of the first things to accept in this road

to a better mindset. There is no other thing, no other real progress, than imperfect

progress: we will always stumble on our way. Treat those mistakes we are making

as ‘’income’’. They teach us lessons and to direct us to the right path. They are the

reason why we test ourselves and keep on fighting for what we truly want out of life.

Henry Ford and the Wright Brothers had failures, but nobody seems to

remember that. Just like them, you are not a failure, but you may have failed in the

past, just like they did. When you get down on yourself, look back at what you have

accomplished.

You may feel disappointed when you make mistakes. Take it as a mean to get

somewhere, not as a huge stone in your way. To do something well, you must fail at

first. And I mean really fail sometimes… so, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is hard

to find a balance between encouraging yourself to chase after your goals every

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single day and being harsh inside of your mind at the same time. Don’t stress if

something simply does not work, there is always another chance. We get up and

keep trying, that’s the only real way to do it.

Imperfect progress is going to take you there. Accept it as part of your daily life.

When you see things getting worse at times, remember that it is happening for a

reason. You are learning from that, and growing, which is the most valuable thing

that there is. They are polishing us to become shinier and brighter. Keep on

practicing.

If you are still not really convinced yet, try searching for successful people who

made mistakes in the past. There are several stories involving celebrities, who were

“no one” and were told that they will never accomplish anything. Some of them were

even in critical situations, where the average person would think impossible for

them to become really successful later in life.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be patient, you will not accomplish everything in a

matter of a few days. Give it time, and you will start seeing the results. Your

mistakes are only temporary defeats. Allow your mistakes to be your masters, learn

from them, and learn not to make them twice. You will build your roots stronger

every single time, and be ready to achieve whatever you are aiming at.


“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” — Napoleon Hill

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9. Change your words, change your life.

Speaking comes to most people as naturally as breathing. On many occasions

our words are uttered without conscious thought; in fact we rarely stop and think

about what we are saying. Thousands of words pour out of our mouths each day as

our thoughts, opinions, judgements and beliefs are freely expressed. Often, however,

we are oblivious to the positive or negative effect these words have on ourselves

and the people around us.

Most people don’t realize how powerful words are and how huge an impact it

has in our lives. Your words can build a person up and at the same time can tear a

person down. Do you know that we give life to what we say, either good or bad. Our

words can heal or harm, destruct or construct. Everything you say produces an

effect in the world. Whatever you say to someone else will produce some kind of an

effect in that person. We are constantly creating something, either positive or

negative with our words.

Reaction to our words often returns to us often in a multiplied form. For

example if I speak words of judgment to a person they will judge me back, probably

with more intensity as their judgment has the pain or anger caused by my words

attached to it. Words of kindness and acceptance will generate a warm and

appreciative reaction in a person. That person’s response to the words will be

stronger because it will have the emotion created by the words attached to it. The

power of words has a ripple effect in our life and those around us.



Complaining is a very common issue. So many people do it, because it is rather

easy to fall into temptation. We usually are tempted to complain about life in

general, about little or big things. What most people don’t realize is that complaints

are making them blind of what really matters. Far from changing the circumstance,

or making things progress, complaints are, most of the time, useless. On the other

hand, if you are a person who complains all the time, people might find your

company really unappealing. No one wants to hang out with someone so negative,

that can’t resist complaining about everything.

A word is a thought eternalized. Our thoughts do have a great effect on us even

though they are internal. What we think effects the way we live our life, it effects our

emotions, our attitudes and our behaviour. A thought spoken, however, has even

more power. It can never be taken back; it is out of our mouth and will have an

effect. Our words have even more power than our thoughts because they not only

affect ourselves, but the people and the world around us.

Do you know that just as we can tear other people down with our words, we can

also tear our own down with our own words? I believe most of us have problem in

this area than about talking negative about other people. When I was stressed or

made a mistake, I used to have a lot of trouble with what comes out from my mouth.

‘’Why do I make the same stupid mistake again? ‘’, ‘’Why are you always slower than

other people?”, “Why can I never be successful?” I started to doubt myself and

labelled myself as inferior. By doing that I was actually cursing my future.

Let me ask you what do you believe for your future? Are you believing you are

going to succeed in your business? Are you believing that you can achieve that

financial breakthrough? Are you believing that your marriage is going to work? Start

speaking and declaring powerful affirmations and victory into your life. It will turn

around your situation as you switch to a positive way of seeing things. This will

open the door of blessings into your lives.

Successful people take control of their words, rather than letting their words

control them. They are more conscious of their thoughts and words and the power

they unleash. Successful people understand that they need to speak positively rather

than negatively in order to see success. Successful people are characterized by the

words that they speak. They know the importance of speaking words that will build

self-esteem and confidence, build relationships and build possibilities. They speak

words of affirmation, encouragement, love, acceptance and appreciation.

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To see more personal success, the words that we speak need to be in alignment

with what we want to see being produced in our life – our vision and our dreams.

Your words can determine your destiny. Even more importantly, your words can

make a positive difference on the people you interact with every day. Before you

speak ask yourself: Is what I am about to say going to uplift the hearer? Will it

inspire, motivate, and create forward momentum for them? Will it dissolve fear and

create safety and trust? Will I create a positive or negative ripple effect by speaking

out these words? Let‘s be determined to unleash the power of words for positive

change.

Allow gratitude to be your first language even when you are down. If you make a

mistake, tell yourself thank you for that lesson, I am better today. By changing the

way you perceive things and the way you speak, you are inviting positive energy to

your life. It might not seem like it, changing the words you use can have a huge

positive impact in your life in general. Don’t take this lightly, as it is a very important

matter.


“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” — Audrey Hepburn



10. Do it afraid.

We humans, in searching for success and happiness, have several great loves.

One is the love of discovering new things. New places... new people... new ideas...

they fascinate us. We also love finding new ways to solve problems. If we've been

suffering the indignities and inconveniences of a long-standing problem, we have an

unquenchable urge to find what's causing the discomfort and fix it.

Unfortunately, an equally strong drive within our psyche is the compulsion to

keep things from changing. We love variety and change, but we also love

predictability. When things start shifting in our world, we get uncomfortable;

uncertain; unsure what to do next. So with our left foot we strike out to seek

change, while at the same time our right foot drags along behind us, trying with all

its might to remain planted in one spot.

We have all faced fear at some point (or rather, several points) in our lives. It

may hold us back and prevent us from getting where we want to go. The whole point

is not to suddenly be the bravest person alive, and erase all fear from your mind,

because that’s an impossible goal. You have to go on and do things afraid. This

doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to be afraid, in the way that your whole body

is shaking with nerves and you cannot pronounce a single word.

Instead of thinking that you can’t do something because you are too afraid to

fail, think of the ways you could be able to do it right. The possibility is there, so why

not direct your thoughts in that direction instead?



It is not wise to wait for “the right time”. There is no such a thing; if you are

afraid to face a situation, you will feel the same thing a month later. You have to

gather your strength and go through it, even with your own fears telling you not to.

Stand against fear and don’t let it control your life, because you are the one who is

living your life and responsible for the paths you take (or not take, in this case).

Facing a new or unknown situation with fear, implies the person has to take a

risk. If you truly want to become successful, you have to start incorporating that

word into your life. “Risk”, your new way of following that dream you always had.

There’s no way you can achieve what you want if you stay in your comfort zone,

without changing anything in your life. Yes, fear will be there, waiting for you to

move out of that pleasant place. But remember: “a ship is safe in harbor, but that's

not what ships are for” — William Shedd. Go out, explore this world and chase after

your goals. Do it afraid, because it is the only true way to do it. You will not regret

this journey, even if you have to be brave at times. Sail towards that horizon of new

possibilities

Tell yourself, your dream is bigger than your fear.


“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” —George Addair





11. Forgiveness is a sign of strength.

Have you heard of this phrase “holding anger is like drinking poison and

expecting the other person to die”?

I believe forgiveness is a sign of strength and not a weakness.

A few years after my ex broke up with me and disappeared without leaving a

word, he texted me back to thank me for all the support I gave him during his lowest

point of life and asked for forgiveness. He is married with a successful business but

his wife is not me. It was a harsh reality for me and it was a difficult decision to

forgive that person who once ruined your life and caused you so much devastation.

The anger, resentment, grief, disappointment creeping in makes it easier to hold

grudges than to forgive but I made a choice to forgive even though it was so difficult.

Just like me, many of you may have been hurt by someone. You want to forgive

but you don’t feel it is right and you don’t feel it is fair. “What they did to was not

right’’. But you can’t let it to become an excuse to have a bad attitude and take

control over your life. You don’t want to be a victim to get stuck in one moment of

time. What if I was still stuck after the break-up? I would probably not be writing

this message here to you. I will still be living a miserable life and have another bad

relationship, and the third one, the forth and the fifth.

Even at work, we may have conflicts with colleagues or sometimes people just

dislike us for no reasons. This is very common in workplace and the best thing to do

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is to forgive and move on. There are some situations that you want to reconcile with

the person who hurts you but there are some situations that you simply just have to

ignore and care no more. Don’t hold grudges and don’t make enemies because you

don’t know when you are going to cross path again.

Forgiveness doesn't always mean we let that person back in our lives.

Sometimes forgiving someone is simply letting go of any negative feelings that have

been eating you up. It shows you how to reclaim your power over your life and

wellbeing. It provides you a way to acknowledge the negative feelings, heal the

wound and move on. It opens the doorway to peace both inner and outer.

Letting go of the past has power. Do yourself a favor, forgive those hurt you

because the gift of forgiving someone is the best gift you are giving to yourself.


"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting." —William Arthur Ward



12. Use your time wisely.

Time is a finite resource that we always take it for granted. When we are young,

we live as if we are going to live forever and we are not going to die until one day

you suddenly realise you have lesser time than you think.

The time for you to chase after your dreams is now. It doesn’t matter if you think

it is too late: Guess what? It is not. Invest your time in doing things that are

productive to you. Your free time should be spent doing things that can give you

some sort of benefit. Read a book instead of watching the TV, learn how to play an

instrument instead of procrastinating three hours on social media.

All great things take time. Use it wisely, because we cannot recover the time that

has passed. Focus on everything that gets you one step closer to your dream and to

being a good person. Don’t waste your time on things that don’t bring you anything

positive or useful to your life. It is really easy nowadays to procrastinate. But do

yourself a favor and do not do this on a regular basis, as it is one of the most time

consuming and less rewarding things you can possibly do.

While we are chasing dreams, we always tell ourselves, “One day when I am

successful I will take my family to this country.”, “One day when I have earn enough

money, I will spend more time with my family.” The world system is always telling

you that you need to work harder and you need to earn more money but it is also

important to cease all busyness in life, set aside all secondary stuff and spend time

with people who truly matter to you.



Encourage those around you to follow this mindset as well. You will find it way

easier to prioritize time if more people you frequent are used to do it too. You can

even share productive time together, to make great memories. You will soon start

associating good time management with success and happiness, once you start

experiencing all the results this can give you.

Last but not least, be punctual. Respect other people’s time. The time you have

is finite, and this is same for other people. I truly believe that time is the most

expensive gift in the world, because once it’s given, you can no longer take it back.


“The key question to keep asking is, are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have. ” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture



13. Try again.

Very often, we give up too soon when we have hard times. Failure is inevitable.

We experience it, in different situations, at different times, throughout our lives.

Don’t own your failures, and don’t let them define you. Separate them from your

own identity. And never define yourself as a failure, because that is simply not true.

You are capable of success; you got to stand up again because these are just

temporary defeats. Quitting is not an option.

When we fail, we might experience confidence and self-esteem breaks. But,

instead of looking at yourself reacting to it, look at the failure itself. Forget for a

couple of minutes about all the feelings that this failure is causing in you. Ask

yourself what could have you done differently, or if it was even in your control to do

something different. But, most importantly, ask yourself what you learned from that

experience. Try to really analyze every situation, and you will notice that there is

always a lesson to be learned behind every single failure.

Don’t let other’s opinion get in your way. Some people love to look at other’s

failures to make them feel like they are less than everyone else. Remind yourself

that everyone fails, it is not just you. Your failures are going to be launching pads to

greater promotions.

The movie Star Wars was rejected by every movie studio in Hollywood before

20th Century Fox finally produced it. It went on to be one of the largest-grossing

movies in film history.



Walt Disney was fired from his job as a newspaper editor for lack of ideas. He

also went bankrupt several times before he created Disneyland.

As a child, Sylvester Stallone was frequently beaten by his father and told he had

no brains. He grew up an unhappy loner. He floated in and out of schools. An advisor

at Drexel University told him that based on his aptitude tests he should pursue a

career as an elevator repair person. It's not a bad profession but it's certainly not

where "Rocky" ended up!

Every time you face failure, get up. You have to live this life and move on, to face

other opportunities and TRY again. You have to keep on playing: the game is not

over yet. We are still here, with constant opportunities being given to us. Take them

and go for it. If you fail, it doesn’t matter. You will always get something good out of

it. But you have to keep on trying, because your dreams are not going to become

true if you refuse to take a risk.

You are never truly defeated, unless you are absolutely incapable of keep going.

As long as your passion beats in your heart, as long as you keep on breathing and

dreaming, and you can keep pushing, do it. You will eventually get there, and every

single time you failed would have a powerful meaning to you.

It takes persistence. It takes believing in the "voice inside" when no one else

does. Ideas, dreams and visions are planted within you because you have the ability

to make them happen. You’ll learn, grow, scramble, fail, and get back up again! The

important thing is to simply never give up. The people I mentioned earlier never

gave up – and they made great things happen!


It’s better to look back on your life and say “Yes! I can’t believe I did that!” than to look

back and say “I wish I did that”.

― Unknown




14. Commit to excellence

Vince Lombardi once said, “The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion

to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

If you take a look at some of the world’s greatest athletes or most successful

entrepreneurs, or anyone who has mastered their craft, you will find that they are

the hardest working people who make a firm commitment to daily excellence. You

might think Tiger Woods success is because he is gifted, but all you have to do is to

look at his daily practice schedule and you will understand why he is so good at

what he does.

6:00 Weight workout (90 minutes)

7:30 Breakfast 8:00 Practice tee (2 hours) 10:00 Putting green 10:30 Play 9 holes 12:00 Lunch 1:00 Practice tee (2 hours) 3:00 Short game work 4:00 Play 9 holes

http://golf.about.com/od/tigerwoods/f/tiger-woods-practice.htm



5:00 Putting green 5:30 Home Even though he has played since he was two years old and has a very unique gift

for the sport of golf, Tiger focuses on a detailed (and deliberate) practice routine

each and every day. Deliberate practice makes Tiger a great golfer.

You already know what you want. You have a desire, a dream that you want to

fulfill. You learned that you have to stay out of the comfort zone to do so. Now what?

Here’s where your commitment gets into action. Your will to actually go through

everything is the wind that helps you sail in this adventure. Desire it with all your

heart and soul. It has to be the ultimate goal at this point in your life, that nothing

else would give you more satisfaction in many levels. Be ready to give everything for

it, to make sacrifices, to face hard situations. The only real proof of commitment is

sacrifice. That’s when you show yourself how far you are willing to go in order to

accomplish everything. The realization of your dreams depends directly on the

amount of sacrifice you are thinking to do.

It doesn’t have to a big dream. You can commit to excellence in smaller things in

our life too. For example, you make resolution to lose 5kg this year, commit to your

decision to follow your routine. At the workplace, when are you given a task by your

superior, give them your best because it demonstrates your depth of character.

Don’t just have a survival mentality. Go the extra miles to do what is right. Tell

yourself you are not just going to survive, but you are going to thrive.


"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality"

― Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865).




15. Keep growing

Focus on your personal growing. You have to improve yourself in every way

possible, to be ready to achieve your dreams. Invest time in enhancing your various

skills, be it relate to work like problem solving and communication skills or related

to your hobby.

If there is something you always wanted to learn, an instrument for example, go

for it. Art will open various sides of your perspective that are blocked without it.

Make time for these things, because they are absolutely worth it and necessary.

Don’t wait until you are absolutely free, or until your next vacation, because the time

to grow is always now.

Read a book regularly. Make it a habit, and read about interesting things to you.

If you like wine, read about wine. If you like finance, read about finance. Even fiction

helps developing your imagination and grammar. With the advance of technology,

there are countless types of learning books you can gather knowledge from.

I once learned that we should set aside 10% of our income and invest in

education. In the past few years I attended several different workshops and seminar

and found some undiscovered passion that I never knew I have. I also widened my

network and met like-minded people. The point is by doing it, you will be in a

constant state of learning, which will lead to an amazing journey.



Jack Ma, the Founder of Alibaba.com and the richest person in China said that

when he was a teenager, he started waking up early in the morning to visit the city’s

main hotels and offering visitors a tour of the city in exchange of a English lesson.

Without money or connections, the only way he could get ahead was through

education.

Develop your talents. Don’t waste your time spending hours watching TV or

spending unproductive time on the Internet. Take classes. Successful people never

stop learning. Improve the skills you already have. Improve your reading, writing,

and vocabulary. There seems to be a universal law which seems to always send

opportunity to those who are moving forward. You will be amazed when that

opportunity comes along that your unique collection of talents and abilities fits it

perfectly.

Learn from other people. Talk to others who have accomplished the same goal

you're going after. If you wish to be wealthy, contact other wealthy people or

frequent message boards associated to that. By finding out how others achieved the

same goal, you'll learn what to do and what to keep away from.

Plan your days, to always do things that help you grow in any way possible.

Think about a good thing you can do that day. Maybe help someone in need, or even

to rescue an animal. Growing spiritually is as important as to do it mentally and

physically.

If your old “you” could not be ready to chase after your dreams, a new “you” has

to take over. Get better at everything you do, always seek to improve in every way,

and you will be stronger to face your failures and mistakes in the future.


“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

http://bowiechan.com/5MinuteLearningMachine



16. Spend wisely early in life

Your 20's is the time to set the foundation for your life, a time when you

discover new things in life, a time when you figure out what you would like to be. It's

the choices you make and the habits you create during your 20's which can be the

difference between success and failure. The earlier you make these choices, the

quicker you will be successful.

It is essential to develop healthy money habits like spend wisely early in life, or

set up goals to gain financial independence before you reach your retirement and

let’s see what some of those habits which will help you get a head start among your

peers.

One of the first things you will have to do is setup some personal finance goals.

Make sure that your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

Some of the common financial goals are: Get out of debt, plan an early retirement,

have a good emergency fund, save money for buying a house, save money for buying

your dream car, set up your own company, travelling around the world, buying

things that you like without have to look at price tag, afford your family a summer

vacation and etc.

How are you going to achieve these goals?

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Pay yourself first. At your 20's, you don't have a family to feed, or to pay your

house loan, it would be an ideal time to save for your future self. When I was

younger and started to earn money, I spent money recklessly on unnecessary things

without planning. Sometimes I had to borrow money from friends or siblings. When

I read the book “The Richest Man in Babylon”, I started to realize the importance

financial freedom. As per financial experts, it would be ideal that you save 10% of

your income towards your emergency fund, a fund that you can use when you are

jobless and strike with emergency use. And another 10% towards your investment

fund. Since you are young, you will have the leverage to invest your investment

funds to high yielding portfolio's like equity which will help in achieving your life

goals much more quickly. But bear in mind, do you jump into something that you

have little knowledge or not familiar with. Remember to counsel wise people before

you wet your feet.

Make it a habit to budget your money every month and run your life like a small

business owner. As soon as you get your salary make it a habit to budget your

money into savings, monthly expenses and keep aside a small fund for lifestyle

expenses which you can splurge without feeling guilty. There is happiness in life you

only know how to save money but do not know how to enjoy life. Earlier, money

conscious folks used envelopes to budget their money but now plenty of apps are

available which will help you to manage your money better.

Live a debt-free life. Pay off your debt quickly. As soon as you get out of college

and get your first job, for most of us there will be the educational loans looming

behind us. I remember when I graduated from my Masters in the UK, instead of

going to graduation trip, I worked as waitress in a restaurant 6 days a week to pay

off my education loan that I borrowed from my father. Remember, before other

lifestyle debts catch up it would be a great idea to clear your debts. You need to set

aside a good amount of money after paying yourself and setting aside for your

monthly expenses to pay off your debts. Make it a habit on not to spend on anything

other than your necessities until your debts are paid off.

Can you believe that to-date, I DO NOT own any credit cards? The little piece of

plastic will be a tempting item that we would like to have as soon as we get a job. It

promises a lot of stuffs and has that ease of use which will lure you into getting one

of those. But before you know, it will make you a slave. Even though the flexibility of

payment and the cash backs makes much more sense in stretching your dollars from

a financial perspective, in reality it will make you spend more and eventually will



burden you with debt. Sooner or later your debts will act like a snowball, it becomes

bigger and bigger and will take you downhill. Hence say NO to credit cards.


“Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll

tell you what they are.”

― James W. Frick



17. Love health to live well

By now, we are all familiar with the good old saying, 'health is wealth'. However,

many people still do not understand the real essence of this wise adage beyond the

mere statement of it. Indeed, health is one of the major prerequisites for achieving

success; whether you are harboring thoughts of venturing into an entrepreneurial

venture or simply want to take charge of your finances, you must begin by asking

yourself the all too important question - I'm I healthy enough to see it through? So,

to begin easy, let us first of all demystify this question by explaining what exactly the

definition of health is.

Health can be defined as a complete state of an individual's well-being. The

variables that constitute a person's well-being are physical, social, mental,

emotional and spiritual. Many is the time we do not find ourselves in a hospital bed,

but this is not to mean we are ever healthy. If for instance you happen to land a

lucrative position and as a result you are too excited to deal with that, sleeping less

than needed, ignoring your diet and disregard doing exercise. Well, you may as well

be termed unhealthy in some way. The same goes for those who exhibit some form

of anti-social behavior. Regardless of how physically well they may be, they still

would not be categorized as healthy.

Why health is so important?

Health and wealth are inseparable, and there are many reasons for this. As

already mentioned, living the lives we dream of and achieving financial freedom are

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the desires of all of us and without mincing words, this kind of freedom never comes

easy. We always find ourselves so absorbed in our dreams that we never give a

thought at all to our state of health. Well, as it were, when a disease strikes us, it eats

up nearly all of our resources. Often, we realize that our savings, however large they

are, are never enough to settle our medical bills and we therefore resort to seeking

the intervention of family and friends. In a nut shell, ill-wealth impairs our progress

towards our financial freedom in three ways.

First of all, it depletes all our savings and in the event we recover, we often have

to start up all over again. Secondly, ill health kills our productive time for as we lie in

the hospital bed, it basically means the time that would have otherwise been used to

pursue our dream is lost. Lastly, ill health has a spill-over effect because it involves

our families, friends and even business associates. Even when they do not chip in

with financial aid, which is seldom the case, the amount of time they give towards

visiting us, thinking about us or even trying to fit into our roles would be better off

spent doing something else more productive.

How do we guard against the repercussions of ill-health?

One thing we are all sure of is that ill-health will be part of us sooner or later.

One thing we can never tell however is when this will happen. Therefore, we all

need to adopt proactive measures that ensure we are safe when it happens.

Basically, there are two ways you can guard against ill-health.

First of all, everyone needs to watch their lifestyle and ensure that aside from

the physical aspect, all the other aspects are well-served too. Even as we are

engrossed in our wealth-seeking activities, we should always remember to take care

of what matters most. Examples could range from good dieting and physical

exercise to ensure physical health, prayer and meditation to guarantee spiritual

health, proper socializing techniques for social health and so on.

The other way we can cushion ourselves against the impacts of ill-health is by

taking up health insurance plans. These will particularly come in handy with the

much-needed financial aid as well as ensure we have the peace of mind to pursue

our dreams. In addition to having a health insurance policy, you could start a savings

initiative where you allot a portion of your income for health-related emergencies.

The more you keep improving to a healthier direction, the more prepared you

are to follow your dreams and the more you can live a truly wealthy, truly successful

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and truly happy life.


“So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their

wealth to regain their health.”

― A.J. Reb



18. Pay less attention to what men say. Watch what they do.

T

hey say actions speak louder than words, and it is true in every way. There are

people who have sleek tongues and can talk their way out of anything and any

situation. Their greatest strategy is to always use words to deceive through

psychological manipulation. Words are just words, they don't mean much if they are

not put into action. How often have people made promises and gone back on them?

How many times has someone made a great speech only to do the opposite? The

best way to judge people is through what they do and not what they say.

Politicians have perfected the art of speaking, seducing their electorates with

beautiful words that have no meaning. Once elected into office, they embark on self-

serving interests that will in no way benefit their constituents.

Even in a relationship, a partner will make promises to stand by you in every

situation, to do right by you and make you the happiest person on this planet. Some

of the times these promises are never kept. A person who loves you will use words

to profess that love but show through ACTIONS that they truly value, cherish and

love you. Love cannot be professed through words alone because words carry no

meaning. Even in a home, a husband or wife will promise each other a change in

behavior only to carry on with the old lifestyle. There is no meaning in words if they

are not accompanied with actions. A relationship can only flourish when there exists

trust. In a situation where a person says one thing and does the other, a relationship

or marriage cannot survive. Only stick with a partner who says and does the same

thing.



It is the same thing with someone claiming to be your friend and then talking

badly behind your back or doing things that would sabotage your interests. A true

friend will prove that friendship through actions and not by mere words. Like they

always say, a friend in need is a friend in deed. Do not be swayed by flamboyant

words that have no impact in your life whatsoever.

Paying less attention to what people say and instead watching what they do can

help you understand your work colleagues better. Through this philosophy, you can

be able to tell who among your workmates really minds about your welfare and

which one of them is bent on sabotaging you. Words may lie but only actions prove

the real intentions of a man.


“Well done is better than well said.”

― Benjamin Franklin



19. Care for others, and do so sincerely

Caring about people requires sincerity, and sincerity is the most important

component in caring about people. When you sincerely care about someone, you are

willing to put in the effort to help them. You are basically demonstrating that you

are willing to make sacrifices on their behalf, and this proves to them that you truly

care. People know and can sense whether you are treating them with sincere or not.

People would know and feel whether your intention to use and take advantage of

them or to genuinely care for them.

Sincerity as well as the act of showing people that you care about them is

important in developing deeper ties. You may have a hundred friends at work or on

social media, but only fraction of your friends actually thinks that you sincerely care

about them. The value of sincerity is that not only does it forge deeper bonds, it also

helps people trust you. Needless to say both of these things can help to improve

your relationships. Imagine, when you are in trouble, is there a friend that you can

call for help? If no, why?

The old saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed" applies well to this situation,

since sincerity and caring are essentially all about giving a little of what you have to

people, be it time, service, gift or encouragement. When you give something to a

person, he or she will recognize your generosity and this is how deep and sincere

relationships begin. Therefore, in order to show people that you sincerely care

about them, you will need to develop the habit of giving.

Being sincerely caring to someone may sound easy, but it's actually a trait that



you will have to gradually develop. To do this, here are a few guidelines that you can

try.

You can start with a select number of people. The best way to be sincerely caring

about people is to start with people whom you have very deep ties with. Close

friends, people you depend on and even family members are people that you can be

sincerely caring to without expending too much energy. This may seem easy, but

once you have mastered the habit, you can start applying it to your other friends and

colleagues. A friend once told me, if you want to be kind, be kind to the people

around you first. The bible also says love your neighbor.

Show people that you care by looking at the small details in their lives. People

who remember people's names, tastes, background and personal experiences

appear more caring than people who don't. For example, just remembering

someone's birthday and going through the trouble of getting him or her gift may not

seem like a big deal to you, but it's a clear sign to the other person that you really

care about them. Surprise your girlfriend or boyfriend with a gift at work is also the

perfect opportunity to let him or her knows that you care. A boyfriend who

remembers what is his girlfriend favorite perfume and food shows that he genuinely

cares and pays attention to her needs.

Finally, you should engage people regularly. Small gestures like saying "hi," brief

chats at the elevator or even simple greetings should be performed as often as

possible in order to breed familiarity. This is important because we often trust

people whom we are familiar with.

When you take the time and effort to convince people that you genuinely care

about them, you begin to cultivate a socializing habit. This habit will then make you

seem more open to people, which in turn can help your professional career as well

as your social life.


“It is best to be yourself, imperial, plain and true.”

― Robert Browning

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http://www.famous-quotes.com/author.php?aid=1074



20. Set healthy boundaries

Sometimes love makes us do strange things. In our quests to make the ones we

love happy or to please everyone, we may find ourselves giving in to their every

demand and requests. Some people say yes to nearly everything out of fear while

others say yes because they want to please the ones they love. Yet this is a very

unhealthy habit that is not only bad to us but also to the people we want to please. A

dysfunctional relationship usually survives for long because the abused partner is a

"yes" person. Instead of standing up to the mistreatment, they choose to go along

with everything because of love and the fear of being alone. An abusive relationship

or marriage really thrives when one partner does not know when to say "no". As

much as you love, be reasonable and mind about your own well-being without

always putting the needs and interests of the other person first.

Saying yes to everything may also land you into problems with the law. Imagine

a situation where you are roped into a fraudulent deal but because you were too

afraid to say no or wanted to please your friends, you go along with the plan. If

everything blows up, you will definitely be in trouble.

On the other hand, a person who does not know when to say no may be quite

often misused even at work. Colleagues may abandon their work stations to pursue

personal obligations and leave you to do their work. You may find yourself always

busy but doing the work of others while you lag behind in your own

responsibilities. It is very important to learn when to say yes and no at your work

place. Do not allow yourself to be misused by your colleagues simply because you do



not know when to decline or accept a request. Firmly decline when you are not

comfortable or when you feel that something is not right but also learn to say yes

when the situation warrants it. This can help you avoid so many problems at your

work place and shield you from being a doormat. Develop a reputation of a

reasonable and practical person.

There are people who also think that saying "no" to everything is the new cool.

They will always decline every request and proposal without looking at them

objectively. All that for what? To build a reputation of a tough persona not knowing

that they may be passing up great opportunities in the process. You may lose a

dream career move, push the one you love away or lose business connections

simply because you have developed a habit of saying "no" to everything.

Do not be a "yes man" in business because you will drive your business under.

Don't be the person who says yes to all customer requests without putting business

interests first. Bad debtors may greatly take advantage of you simply because of this

character flaw. You should also not be that person who declines every customer

request without even looking at the bigger picture. Learn to be practical at all times.


“A lack of boundaries invites lack of respects”

―Unknown



21. Appreciate the little things in life

As humans, we all have different abilities and talents. That said, we also go

through different challenges and difficulties in life but at the end of the day everyone

is just striving to find happiness and success. These can come in the form of

marriage and family, a good career, successful business or financial autonomy.

Different people have different views of what success means and also find happiness

in varied ways.

Everyone wants to feel appreciated for their effort however small or

insignificant. This is because there is hard work and a lot of sacrifice that probably

went into it. Appreciating the work of others gives them the morale to carry on and

do even BETTER. A simple "thank you" or "you have done well" goes along way in

boosting the psyche of an individual. Showing appreciation to other people's hard

work does not cost you anything and it does more by pushing them to work even

harder. You can never underestimate the significance of being valued on the self-

esteem of a person. So many times people who have been considered to be

perennial under-performers have risen up to the occasion when their little

improvements are recognized. Every day, we go about our businesses, trying to

make ends meet, hoping to make ourselves and other people proud. It feels really

great when somebody somewhere appreciates your struggles.

In a relationship or even marriage, our partners go through a lot to make ends

meet. If you are a stay at home mother, the best you can do is appreciate your



husband's hard work to provide for the family and vice versa. A man can show his

appreciation to his wife by taking her on a vacation or buying her a gift just to tell

her that he values her input in the family. A wife can cook a simple meal to reward

the husband after a full day of hard work. This will encourage them to work harder

and even provide a better life for the family. The end result? A happy marriage and a

happy relationship.

At workplace, a manager can recognize the efforts of his juniors and encourage

them to perform even better. This is because an employee who feels valued and

appreciated will go out of his way to ensure that the visions and goals of the

organization are met. . As an employee, you learn to appreciate the effort put by

your colleagues in meeting business targets and delivering at work because we all

have different abilities. By so doing, you create harmony and play a great role in

advancing the company's agenda. Appreciating the hard work of others will also

give you the drive to achieve your own targets.

As an entrepreneur, it is important to run your business on a platform of ethical

behavior. This can be done by realizing that your customers work very hard for

their money and the best that you can do is have fair pricing for your goods and give

them value for money. Cheating them out of their hard earned money will only earn

you a bad reputation and lose you customers. Appreciating the hard work of your

customers is one sure way of increasing your revenue generation. We must also

learn to appreciate those who lend us a helping hand in our different pursuits in life

because at some point we may reach out to them again for help.


''I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but

people will never forget how you made them feel.''

― Maya Angelou

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22. The beautiful art of listening

A popular proverb says that if you listen careful enough, you will hear the true

rhythm of life. It is often said that God gave humans two ears and one mouth so that

they can hear twice as much as they speak. In one respect, listening is a measure of

your patience and concern for others. A lot of time we hear about women

complaining their men not listening enough or customers not getting what they

really want. The stability of relationships and progress of the business depends a lot

on the willingness of the parties to listen to each other. Quality listening is a

resource whose abundance fosters growth in every station of life. The skill is crucial

in preventing conflict and nurturing love, mutual respect and cooperation. Usually,

poor listening habits are considered as a sign of sheer arrogance and selfishness.

Nobody learns anything through speaking, but everybody can learn something by

listening. What many people fail to understand is that listening is an art that can be

acquired through practice, or lost through neglect.

Good listening requires more than remaining silent as the other party speaks.

People aspiring to hone their listening skills should understand the importance of

objectivity. Subjectivity entails discerning what the other party or parties say from a

purely neutral position. Without such a skill, people end up with the syndrome of

selective listening in the sense that they only listen to what they prefer. Personal

prejudices, beliefs, ideologies and assumptions can affect the quality of listening.

Therefore, the first step to quality listening is to explore yourself for the ingrained

biases that might affect the quality of listening. For example, a husband should

guard against the danger of assessing his wife's talk from a patriarchal mindset. In

order to get the message in its refined state, he should stick to the merits of his



wife's words in their exact context.

Some of the important lessons I learned throughout my professional as a sales

person and from my dating relationships to Quality Listening are:

1. Learn to listen without a judgmental attitude.

2. Do not allow past experiences to affect your listening.

3. Do not interject with disruptive questions, comments or remarks.

4. Detach your emotions and attitudes during the listening process.

5. Allow the person to take his or her time to talk without rushing them to

conclude.

6. Show your concern and understanding as you listen.

7. Encourage the speaker to go on if you sense their discomfort.

8. Think and reflect objectively on the content before contributing or

responding.

It is also important to understand the context and the non-verbal cues. The

meaning of a person's talk is entirely dependent on the context. Many times, people

misunderstand and overreact to statements from their spouses because of failing to

relate to the context. One statement could mean several things if the context is

varied. Sometimes, the message of the speaker is contextualized within a specific

time frame. Listening entails joining the dots between what is said and what is not.

Reading between the lines is a skill that every spouse should strive to master. Good

listeners know the importance of attending to the non-verbal cues of the speakers.

Gestures and facial expressions are crucial signs of telling the mood, feelings and

attitude of the speaker.


'' One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to

say.”

― Bryant H. McGill



23. Money can never satisfy you but true love can

“Lots of money will make me happy. Though money can’t buy me love it will buy

me happiness. Money is everything.” How often do you find yourself saying and

believing this? My guess is –MANY times. But, have you asked yourself how come

many wealthy people are so sad? Why do many age and die lonely and in misery yet

they are filthy rich?

Truth is many people have the notion that money or being rich guarantees them

of happiness. In fact, this is the core value that drives them to work extra hard, I

mean, who doesn’t want to be happy? However, do you know that many wealthy

people are quite poor inside?

Yes, they can afford to buy the finest things in life- a big mansion on the hills, a

humongous villa along the beach, a luxurious yacht, a private plane, or take a

holiday anywhere in the world, but deep inside they are as poor as a church mouse.

So, how can this be? They look glamorous, ever-smiling, confident, and they get to

dine and wine with the who’s who in the society?

Well, in their course of making money, many find themselves trapped in a

financial cocoon. They focus so much on becoming rich that they forget what happy

living is about. Picture a person who is ever in the office or closing deals and never

has time with family, relatives, or friends. He soon becomes an outsider and distant

from people. It’s only after many years that he realizes the importance of having

good relations close to you. With no people around him, children having moved on

and too old to work, he finds himself lonely and confined in a solitary environment.



Because of being wealthy, some people feel like they are sort of demigods. Isn’t

it because of their intelligence and sharpness they are able to do better than the

ordinary Joe? Such thinking tends to increase their arrogance, pride, and as we

know, no one wants to be around such a person. So the better option is distancing

oneself from the rich individual.

One common fallacy is that money will make you happier. Don’t get me wrong

about this statement. It’s okay to have money and it’s okay to be rich. However, it’s

never about wealth or money but relationship. We derive happiness and joy by

interacting with people around us. Not the fat bank account. Not the high social

status. And not the great wealth you have accumulated. If you were to choose

between being rich and lonely, or not-so rich but are surrounded by a cluster of

friends and family, which option would you go for? My guess is the second option.

Have you ever noticed the way some rich people take things for granted. Their

parents cease to be the most important persons in their life. Advice from close

friend becomes worthless. Some parents are even too engaged in finding wealth and

ignore about their children. Or they lack the time to take care of the less-fortunate in

the society. Truth is that once you make one million you will soon get used to it and

the next desire will be ten million. Afterwards it will be 100 million, then 1 billion

and so on. You can never get satisfied with money. What was a lot soon becomes

not-enough though it’s almost bursting your pockets. Imagine, when you are in the

sick bed, who are the ones who will standby you? When you are broke, who are the

ones who will never leave you? Isn’t it better to focus more on being rich inside

rather than outside? Money can never satisfy you but true love can.


'' One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to

say.”

― Bryant H. McGill



24. We love the cheerful givers

It is a common assumption that we are an inherently social species. As human

beings, most of us crave company; a sense of belonging and a community to call our

own. And with that comes the need to be kind and compassionate towards our

fellow man, be it our family members, partners, business associates and friends. To

have a loving and giving heart and nature is something of which everyone should be

proud. If not for the wholesome effect it has in making us better humans, then for

the sheer fact that giving makes us and the people around us feel good.

Trust me, men and women who are kind and generous are more attractive if

they display a character of a cheerful giver. It is important to note that before you

fall in love with someone, identify whether he or she is a generous person who is

willing to share by observing how they treat people, friends, family and even

strangers. It is because the partner who is generous and kind will not leave you

alone when you in trouble. They will always be there for you to support when you

are upset. In general, this leads to happiness and fulfillment in a relationship or

marriage. On the other hand, the dynamic of one partner always giving and another

always receiving is very common. Be careful that we do not want a dysfunctional

relationship where one party is selfish and only care about their needs. We do not

want a partner who gives only when he or she expects something in return and

leave us feeling used and not worthy of love. Find a balance in a relationship. Life is

not just about receiving but also giving. By giving you receive more joy, peace and

happiness.

Even though most of us are willing to give more to the people around us,

sometimes we get caught up in our own problems that we forget the importance of





our generosity is to those who are less fortunate. What many of us forget is that we

do not have to be millionaires to give back. Generosity is not limited to financial

matters alone. It is measured by how far out of our way we go to make someone else

feel better. It is measured in the amount of time we give; the kind of well wishes we

have for other people; the help we give to our neighbors, and of course, the money

we give.

Most of us never give because we feel embarrassed by the amount we have to

give. We compare ourselves to the rich and mighty who donate millions a year to

various charities around the world. We forget that every single dollar counts. If you

have only $1 to give, do so. Do not be embarrassed by that fact. Remember, there is

someone somewhere who is praying for that single dollar and your being

embarrassed by how small an amount it is will deprive them of it. Anything you can

give will be highly appreciated by people in dire straits.

If you have been struggling, trying to find out how you can be generous and

learn the art of giving, here are some simple steps that could help you raise your

generosity levels.

Volunteer your time. This might sound basic, but it is one of the most treasured

gifts anyone can give. Volunteer to help people in need by giving them your time and

compassion. You can go to the local shelter and volunteer your services there. You

will be surprised how much seeing your fellow human beings in that state will affect

you. From that simple interaction, it is a very small step to finding out how else you

can be of help. This is how you find yourself giving more and more.

Be a little selfish. What many of us do not realize is that generosity is a self-

serving habit. Those who give more report being healthier, happier and more

satisfied with their lives than those who do not. By giving, you are making a

difference in this world, no matter how small. This can be a powerful notion that

will help you to lead a more wholesome life. So, in actual fact, by helping others, you

are helping yourself too.


“I gave you all my secrets and you lost them all. You lost a lot of things.”

But the treasure of it was in the giving, not the keeping.”

― Julio-Alexi Genao




25. Have integrity even when no one sees it

Your promises are not just actions of satisfaction that you are going to fulfill

sometime in the future; they are the guarantees of your integrity in your present life.

In fact, you have to be very careful when you are building any kind of relationships

around you, whether they are personal or professional, because they really do

matter. They can make your life better or can boost your career. Otherwise, you may

'sink' in both. Above all, you should remember that you have to keep your promises

and integrity.

Once you make a promise, keep it. When you don't keep up with your promise,

no matter how small it may seem to you, it can damage any kind of relationship and

even destroy your reputation. For example, think about someone else who broke his

promise to you or you caught him telling you a lie, doesn't this make you feel

cheated? Moreover, getting away with a lie can also be dangerous, because you

might be fooled in believing that you won't get caught. Eventually this can become a

habit, which forces you to spend your energy and time, in order to keep your stories

straight. But once others learn about the lies, people may forgive you, but cannot

forget about it.

Learn to say 'no'. Especially if you can't keep a promise, you should avoid

making it. For instance, you may not be able to guarantee your wife that you will be

able to go for a vacation with her in a certain time, but you can promise her that you

will work hard to give it to him as soon as possible. If you can't deliver something on

time, you have to realize that it's wiser to say 'no', than not be able to keep your



promise. This way you'll feel free to express yourself openly and not to live

according to everybody's expectations. So, it's easier to say 'no', than to promise

something that you can't deliver or you don't want to fulfill.

What you say actually matters. Actually integrity is very important and you have

to be able to stick to your words in order to maintain it, especially if you wish to

have a healthy and successful life. Don't forget that the world is smaller than we

think. So, remember that every time you are giving your word to someone, whether

to a friend or your boss, you are testing your honour. It simply means that others

can trust you, because you are a trustworthy person and you value your integrity.

Otherwise, you may lose a friend, a marriage or destroying your reputation at work.

But most importantly, you will disappoint yourself. When you act with integrity,

people will assume that your intentions are honorable.

Above all, you should remember that by keeping your promises and maintaining

your integrity is not an easy task. In fact they are some of the hardest skills that you

should be able to handle. As you will work systematically on improving your

'promise skills', have integrity even when no one sees it, you will see some great

changes happening in your life, concerning your relationships.


“Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people

who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong

is to get caught.”

― J.C. Watts



26. Do not settle for the less

Human beings are social animals. We are at out happiest in the company of

family and friends and long hours of solitude leave us feeling blue and out of sorts.

However, even the most supportive and loyal friends circle pales in the absence of a

life partner, a special someone to share in life's joys and sorrows, large and small.

They go together, "singles" and "dating" that is. In fact, if you go back in history

no further than a century you'll see that this tradition of dating has been ubiquitous

in the Western world. If in the beginning young people went out with the partners

approved by their parents, later on they decided their partners by themselves. And

in the current scenario parents do not come into the picture at all. Singles dating has

thus become almost synonymous with each other.

Though it sounds quite common and simple, dating is not such an easy process

for those singles out there. Right from the time they are teenagers they are forced to

find a partner. Peer pressure is one factor that makes many teenagers today to find a

date. Because, without a partner they are left out of parties, couples nights out,

birthday bashes and so on. And even when you are a grown up adult, most singles

are constantly looking out for a suitable person who would 'love them like no one

else before'.

When the pressure to find someone goes up, it almost often leads to making the

wrong choices. When you don't find what you are looking for you try to compromise

with what is available to you. There was a time when you liked ski diving and were



looking for someone who shares your passion, you had to 'adjust' with someone

who hated the very word 'snow' just because he or she was the only one around.

Thankfully, this is not the case anymore.

The truth is, true love is worth waiting. Do not settle for the less. If you are

single, be a happy single. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a

relationship. While you are single, keep growing. The better you become, the better

partner you will be attracted to.

It’s perfectly fine to go out and explore more provided you have your boundary

established. Today, you'll find many online dating services for singles dating. They

let you create your profile, add your likes and dislikes, your expectations from

prospective partners and even suggest you individuals with similar tastes and likes.

In many ways, this is a boon for singles as they could avoid a lot of time, effort and

even a few awkward situations if they had chosen an unsuitable partner.

Much as online dating is desirable, you need to be careful before deciding to

meet someone whom you met online. There are several factors that you need to

check before you actually set out for your first date. First of all, you never know

whether the other person is completely honest with you. There is a lot of difference

between hiding a shortcoming and telling a lie to purposefully mislead a person. The

sad fact is that unless you meet someone and converse directly you wouldn't know

whether what or who the person claims to be is completely true.

In many occasions, true love can be found from mutual friends. If there is a

common friend between you, it’s even better because you can ask as many questions

about that person. I’m not asking you to find a perfect mate who is the most

handsome guy in the town. Take your time to know the person well before jumping

into a relationship and trust your intuition.

Remember, it is better to be single than in a miserable relationship.


“As I get older I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And

what I won't settle for.”

― Jennifer Aniston



27. You are responsible for your own happiness

Do you ever feel unhappy or trapped in your present circumstances? Note that

this is a common feeling, especially in today's world. It is easy to believe you are

caught without choices, which you are somehow at the mercy of everybody and

everything around you and that somehow your happiness depends so much on

things over which you do not have control.

Do you know that you always have a choice and you are responsible for your

happiness? Where you are and who you are today is the decisions and choices you

made yesterday. Knowing our responsibility for our own happiness determines

whether your potential is realized, your dreams come true or you are living the life

that you want to. Precisely, your happiness is in your hand.

If you are not contented with your current situation, it is important that you

realize that you are in that situation because of the options and decisions you have

made in your life. You may not agree with this at first, and you may take some time

to connect the dots to understand how it happens. We are conditioned to believe we

have no choices. For instance, we believe that we live where we live because that is

where our parents lived. Some of us believe we are poor because we are not born in

a rich family. Some believe that we work where we work because it is the only job

we think that we can get. In a relationship set-up, the love we receive from our

partners adds to our happiness, but it is not the primary source of our joy. Some

people move from one relationship to another looking for happiness. How many

people blame their partners for their unhappiness? The result is that we tend to

remain stuck in the status quo because we believe that we have no choice and we



refuse to take responsibility of our own happiness. We start to blame everyone and

everything else but ourselves.

However, the TRUTH is that we have a choice and doing nothing to change our

circumstances is in itself, a choice. For instance, you do not like your job, but instead

of looking for another one, you do not nothing but complaining. If you do not want a

job, you have the choice start your own business, you have the choice to change to

another job, and you also have the choice to learn how to enjoy your current job. If

you are not contented with where you live, you have a choice relocate to somewhere

else. If you are in an unhappy relationship being with the wrong person, you have a

choice to resolve the issues, a choice leave that relationship and find your own

happiness. Some people blame that they are poor but when an opportunity is

presented to them, they choose to ignore it because of fear. What if they grab the

opportunity? Too often, we trap ourselves in the thought that other people can bring

change in our lives thus we fail to realize that we are responsible for our happiness

and that no external force can bring the change we desire. You have a choice to

accept circumstances as they are or begin to do something about it.

Learn how to choose your thoughts and start identifying opportunities. You will

begin to feel compelled to take certain actions that will begin to move you towards

what you want. The minute you begin to take steps, you have started the cycle of

assuming responsibility for your results and your happiness. If you are afraid or not

willing to take an action, ask yourself how badly you want to change. If you want it

badly enough, then assume responsibility for initiating the action. There is no point

of waiting because this will just prolong your current situation in which you are

unhappy.

In conclusion, when you encounter a circumstance where you feel frustrated,

helpless, or angry, choose to remain positive in your thinking. When you learn to

interpret things in a positive way, make that one courageous step to realize your

happiness. Remember that success is not the key to your happiness, but happiness is

the key to success.


'' “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final

forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

― Anne Frank




28. Women need unconditional love, men need unconditional respect

A relationship entails two people in a deep psychological level. If you are

familiar with the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, you probably

know men and women are communicating in different ways, styles and emotional

needs. Each partner in a relationship demands something different from the other. It

is through understanding and respecting the difference that can help to lead to a

successful relationship.

Relationships are said to be like a football match where everybody plays his part

to avoid defeat. God put it in a man to work, to provide, to guard and to protect. His

identity is tied closely to his work. Precisely, man needs to be admired and

appreciated by the woman he loves. This is because men are actually as equally

insecure as women. Men know that there is always a richer and more handsome

man out there, and the greatest fear of a man is the fear of failure. If you ask any

man, he will tell you the feeling of inadequacy is worse than the feeling of being

unloved. A smart woman knows how to respect her man unconditionally by

believing and trusting in his ability. Having said this, if you are able to give your man

unconditional respect, he will be the happiest man in the world. If you dispel this

fear in your man, you have won his heart completely. The key to getting a man to

love a woman is to respect him more.

Most men are starving for respects and admiration. Think about something that

is good about your men and tell him. Write down all the good things you can think




about him and tell him every day. Imply understanding and assurance to his

hobbies, interests and dreams. For example, if he has just his pay rise, tell him that ‘’I

know you can do it”. If he is starting his own business, tell him that “I know you will

be successful”. Tell him that he is the most handsome man you ever met. This will

encourage him to love you more.

On the other hand, women need unconditional love. She needs undivided

attention. A woman wants to be close, and she wants to be close to her man. She is

emotionally clings to her man and she needs to be connected in a way that man

doesn’t need. She wants to know that something during the day made her man

thinks of her. When a man shows this kind of thoughtfulness or sensitivity to her,

she feels loved. When a man listens patiently to her, she feels loved. A woman is very

vulnerable, she is delicate, and she is worthy of honors. Even just holding her hands

will make her feel so close and cared for. If a man truly and unconditionally loves a

woman, she feels as if she owns the whole world.

Overall, it is clear that there is a difference in the love language used by men and

women. Misunderstandings occur when either of the partners does not understand

this difference. It is a bit tricky for men because women love by hearing, and all a

man has to do is to love his woman with all his heart. This means that even if you

love her and you don’t constantly say you do, she may think you don’t. On the other

hand, if a woman does not respect her man, he will feel condemned and begin to

shut down and withdraw. Consequently, he will not be able to show her the love she

rightly deserves. This may lead to a relationship breakup.

When there is mutual understanding between the partners, love grows and

multiplies, and each partner is happy with the other. You get what you need and you

give what your partner needs with love. Perfect does not exist, so it is better to

appreciate your partner and live with his or her weaknesses.


'' We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and

leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep

watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.

― John Lennon





29. You don’t have to be wrong to apologize

When I was young, I always started small fights with my little sister and made

her cry. This is the time my mother grabbed my hand angrily demanding that I

apologize to her. I hated such moments. What hurt me most is that she made me

repeat it several times till the apology sounded meaningful to her. She wanted my

tone to be genuine. That is when I learnt that an apology was the basic reaction to a

mistake whether small or not.

Though short, the phrase “sorry “is a very powerful word at work, in business, in

relationship or marriage. Giving a sincere apology is one of the hardest things to do.

Apologizing when you are wrong means you have swallowed your pride and owned

up. However, it’s a thing most people do not like to do.

Apologizing is very important and sometimes you do not have to be wrong to do

so. An apology brings a conclusion that gives you a peace of mind and facilitates

healing wounds of guilt from within. Besides, it allows one to grow given that

admitting a mistake is not a thing many people are willing to do.

Delivering an apology when you go against rules of social conduct re-establishes

that you know the rules and that you are ready to uphold them. An apology re-

establishes the dignity of the person or the people you have wronged. It lets them

know that the blame is on you and not those thus helping them feel better.

An apology repairs a strained relationship between spouses, workmates, family

members and so forth making them feel comfortable with each other. Some people




have the false belief that apologizing makes them feel inadequate. Others do not

want to be the first ones delivering an apology as they believe that it will be an

admission of guilt and responsibility for the conflict. In some instances, an apology

seems to draw attention to a mistake that may have gone unnoticed. But all in all, a

sincere apology brings a resolution, reaffirms shared values and restores positive

feelings.

When you have wronged a friend, family member, a loved one or even a

stranger, it’s proper that you apologize, even if you really didn’t mean hurting them.

By doing so, you open the doors to communication allowing you to make a

reconnection. An insincere apology can make things worse. Therefore, it’s important

to know how to apologize effectively. Some of the key ingredients that make up a

sincere apology are:

- Owning up to your part and not theirs - Expressing deep regrets - Reaffirming your boundaries in the future to avoid conflict and foster a

healthy relationship.

- Making the necessary amends that will improve the bad situation.

Good relationships help us to reduce stress and conflict only serves to raise

stress levels in people. And that is why is important for us to be adept at apologizing

and we will say goodbye to negative effects of stress as we are able to put conflict

behind and move on happily.

It’s worth the effort to learn the art of apologizing since it helps us to achieve

more happiness, stress relief, happy and healthy stronger relationships and reduced

conflict.


'' “An apology can be a wonderful thing so long as it is infrequent and from the heart.

However, beware of the person who justifies bad behavior with apologies. For them it

is a means to an end, and quite often at your expense.”

― Gary Hopkins



30. Walk by faith not by feelings

Faith is simply the state of being sure about the things that you truly hope for.

It’s further the understanding that something is real in spite of the fact that we may

not be in a position to see it in real time. It is through faith that people are able to

achieve some of the greatest things that many may see as impossible.

On the flip side, a feeling is just a general impression, perception of events,

closely related to emotion within an individual. It can also be described as a reaction

or rather an emotional state. When you view it from the point of belief, a feeling can

be a vague or irrational belief. We can also simply explain it to be the capacity or

ability to experience some sense of touch or sensitivity.

It is important for people to walk by faith not by feelings, because feelings

sometimes can be a lie. It is merely an indication of your emotion and it is not your

destiny. Walking by faith not by feeling allows someone to truly belief in something

that they do not see. It helps one work hard without any discouragements because

with faith, there is the true belief that everything is possible in spite of all the

challenges.

For example, after marrying for a few years and you have not been blessed with

a child, do not just lose hope and start fighting with your spouse, pray and have the

faith that children come. At times a loved one may be diagnosed with a bad medical

report and admitted at a hospital with too much medical bills that you cannot afford,

they may even need organ transplant and sometimes all you see is death coming so

fast. You may feel hopeless and discouraged. However, do not allow the negative



feeling to creep into your mind but turn your situation by relying on faith. There are

many miracles happen which cannot be explained by science but they are done

through faith.

Acting by faith means you are giving yourself an emotional guarantee that

everything will be right and that things will go along as planned. It offers an

emotional peace and opens the channel to infinite intelligence. Walking by faith not

by feeling means one must learn how to have a strong understanding and belief that

things that they hope for may not at times be granted to them instantly. Instead one

needs to understand that their desires will eventually be satisfied.

In conclusion, when we are faced with difficulties and everything looks

impossible, remember what the many acts of faith of people like Abraham resulted

to. Remember that the feeling is only temporary and it will be forever. Temporary

disappointments do not mean that we will not reach where we want to go. Walking

by faith not by feeling is the path that we all should take if we truly want to achieve

the things that we hope for.


“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”

― Martin Luther King, Jr.



BONUS!!! 31. Relationships require continuous work and maintenance

Sometimes a relationship or marriage gets stale and monotonous after a while.

Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because you have

spent many years together. However how strong a relationship is there comes a

time some slight issues of indifference that can jeopardize the relationship and

therefore relationship requires continuous work and maintenance so as to be strong

and continue to be stable.

Most of the time, if you are so busy with your life and you don’t meet each other

every day, it is very crucial to constantly communicate and check out how the other

is doing. No matter how busy you are, there is always time you should make to your

loved one. A simple message or few seconds call can do that. It makes you appear

caring, thoughtful and mindful of your loved one. Despite the logic that your partner

knows that you love them, a simple word of “I love you” makes them secure. Despite

all the hectic and tight schedule that makes it hard to be together as lovers, it is vital

to find an opportune time that you can spend quality time together. Break out from

the daily monotonous routine go out together have dinner together or go to the

movie.

No relationship is always smooth sailing and perfect. There will be arguments

and disagreement along the way because our thoughts are absolutely different. If

your partner does not do as you expected understand them we are not all the same.



You can’t always expect the other to subscribe or buy in to your ideas. It is the daily

routine and norm of life for cases of misunderstanding to arise, to avoid them

tearing your relationship apart, sit down together talk as adults who are mature,

avoid shouting to each other or having pride. This way the issue will be solved

amicably and strengthening your relationship. It is through communication and

negotiation to reach a mutually agreed solution. When we communicate, be open to

each other feelings. Always speak up your mind say how you feel or what you want

do not assume that your loved knows what you want It is always advisable to be

100% honest to each other, speak nothing but the truth and no lies. Above all trust

your partner.

No one is perfect and so should you make a mistake own it accept responsibility

but more importantly the other partner must learn to forgive and forget. In future

do not revisit the issue if other problem arises.

In a relationship no one would want to be number two, it lowers one’s self -

esteem, love and trust and eventually you can break up. Always be and remain

faithful to your loved one.


'' If people put in the same effort to keep you as they did to get you, most relationships

would last.”

― Rashida Rowe




Conclusion

We are all capable of implementing those crucial love and life lessons to our

lives. I hope by internalizing these lessons, you will be able to love boldly and thrive

in every area of your life. Remember to always keep these lessons close to your

heart. Then you can start to adapt your lifestyle to these lessons and enjoy

everything that comes with them.

Don’t stress too much if you can’t seem to follow these lessons. You do not have

to be perfect. Take one at a time. Slowly plant the seed in your mind. They are very

important, so if you need to take your time to be comfortable with them, take it. Find

your own rhythm and follow it, without trying to accelerate it. The most important

thing is to always keep yourself on track. Once you are following them, you will

slowly understand and enjoy the new life they will give. I guarantee you that these

lessons ensured a greater life for me, as they will to you.

You will notice changes in your work, in your relationships and financially.

When you are a dream chaser, and a positive person and giver, you are only going to

live a more fulfilling and happier life. Aim to become that, and encourage everyone

around you to do it. Show them these lessons. Can you imagine if everyone would

read and understand this book? What a beautiful world we would have! Full of

positive and loving people who are willing to help you make your dreams come true.

We would have so many people to share our paths with. Don’t miss the opportunity

to recommend this to all the people you love, you could be making a huge positive

impact on their lives.

And, finally, I thank you so much for reading my book. I hope you use this

knowledge wisely and wish the best of luck to you.

Always in my thoughts,

Bowie Chan

Life-affirming and Success Coach,

www.bowiechan.com




Resources

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Resources for Mind, Spirit, Health & Fitness 1. Unlock you hip flexors. The "Hidden Survival Muscle" in your body that is the key to eliminating joint & back pain, anxiety and looking fat… http://bowiechan.com/HipFlexors 2. 12 Minutes meditation for less stress, more relaxation, better health, increased focus and enhanced creativity.


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