What Makes a Good What Makes a Good Paragraph?Paragraph?

UNITY & ELABORATIONUNITY & ELABORATION

helps bring life to dead writinghelps bring life to dead writing

Unity & ElaborationUnity & Elaboration

When a paragraph When a paragraph has has unityunity, all the , all the sentences relate to sentences relate to the main idea. All the main idea. All support sentences support sentences actually support the actually support the paragraph’s main paragraph’s main idea.idea.

When a paragraph When a paragraph has enough has enough elaborationelaboration, the , the reader gets a clear reader gets a clear and complete picture and complete picture of the main idea of of the main idea of the writing.the writing.

Read the following Read the following paragraph, noticing paragraph, noticing how each sentence how each sentence is directly related to is directly related to the main idea: how the main idea: how sailors once believed sailors once believed in mermaids.in mermaids.

UnityUnity

Another monster that was equally dreaded by sailors was the beautiful mermaid. Like the sirens, mermaids were thought to be half woman and half fish. Such creatures were said to carry a mirror in one hand and a comb in another, and from time to time they would run the comb through their long sea-green hair. Most sailors were convinced that it was very bad luck to see a mermaid. At best, it meant that someone aboard their ship would die soon afterward. At worst, it meant that a terrific storm would arise, the ship would sink, and many of the crew would drown.

Read the following paragraphs Read the following paragraphs and decide which sentences are and decide which sentences are

destroying the paragraph’s destroying the paragraph’s unity.unity.

The disappearance of Amelia Earhart remains The disappearance of Amelia Earhart remains a mystery. Earhart, who was the first woman pilot a mystery. Earhart, who was the first woman pilot to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, crashed into the to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, crashed into the Pacific Ocean while attempting to fly around the Pacific Ocean while attempting to fly around the world. She was born in Atchison, Kansas, in 1897. world. She was born in Atchison, Kansas, in 1897. Some searchers believe that she survived the Some searchers believe that she survived the crash into the Pacific, because radio distress calls crash into the Pacific, because radio distress calls were received. An intensive search for the source were received. An intensive search for the source of the signals was made. Searchers were not able of the signals was made. Searchers were not able to find her, however. Finally, the distress signals to find her, however. Finally, the distress signals ceased. In spite of continued searches by airplane ceased. In spite of continued searches by airplane and ship, no clue about what became of Amelia and ship, no clue about what became of Amelia Earhart has yet been found.Earhart has yet been found.

The disappearance of Amelia Earhart remains a mystery. Earhart, who was the first woman pilot to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, crashed into the Pacific Ocean while attempting to fly around the world. She was born in Atchison, Kansas, in 1897. Some searchers believe that she survived the crash into the Pacific, because radio distress calls were received. An intensive search for the source of the signals was made. Searchers were not able to find her, however. Finally, the distress signals ceased. In spite of continued searches by airplane and ship, no clue about what became of Amelia Earhart has yet been found.

After being a city dweller for almost twelve After being a city dweller for almost twelve years, I was forced to move to the country. At the years, I was forced to move to the country. At the time, I hated the idea of living in the “wide-open time, I hated the idea of living in the “wide-open spaces.” After all, what could a teenager do on a farm spaces.” After all, what could a teenager do on a farm located fifteen miles from the nearest town? Farming, located fifteen miles from the nearest town? Farming, once commonplace, seems to be in danger of once commonplace, seems to be in danger of extinction as more people take jobs in large cities. extinction as more people take jobs in large cities. The simple pleasures of the city were miles away. The simple pleasures of the city were miles away. Casual jaunts to the arcade were out of the question. Casual jaunts to the arcade were out of the question. A simple stroll to the mall—once fifteen minutes away A simple stroll to the mall—once fifteen minutes away by foot– was quite impossible. I felt as if I would by foot– was quite impossible. I felt as if I would never again have fun. But one day, as I explored never again have fun. But one day, as I explored deep into the quiet woods behind our house, I deep into the quiet woods behind our house, I realized something important: Those wide—open realized something important: Those wide—open spaces I once hated held countless possibilities.spaces I once hated held countless possibilities.

After being a city dweller for almost twelve years, I was forced to move to the country. At the time, I hated the idea of living in the “wide-open spaces.” After all, what could a teenager do on a farm located fifteen miles from the nearest town? Farming, once commonplace, seems to be in danger of extinction as more people take jobs in large cities. The simple pleasures of the city were miles away. Casual jaunts to the arcade were out of the question. A simple stroll to the mall—once fifteen minutes away by foot– was quite impossible. I felt as if I would never again have fun. But one day, as I explored deep into the quiet woods behind our house, I realized something important: Those wide—open spaces I once hated held countless possibilities.

A mosaic begins as an outline of a picture or design. the artist then elaborates on , or works out in greaterdetail, the outline by inlaying small, colorful bits ofcolored stones or glass into mortar, which is like cement. What once was only a simple outline growsinto a detailed picture.

Writing a paragraph is much like producing a mosaic. You begin with a main idea and a few supporting details. Then, piece by piece, you can craft the paragraph by adding more details and explanation. If you, as the writer, fail to elaborate on your main idea, the reader is left with an unclear picture of the subject. Notice that the following paragraph contains a main idea and a few supporting details but fails to paint a complete picture. Could you clearly and accuratelydescribe a hyena to someone else based on what you read in the following paragraph.

The spotted hyena is an able hunter. It has powerful jaws and sharp teeth. The spotted hyena has strong, short hind legs.Hunting in large packs allows the spotted hyena to overwhelm much larger prey. Only the fittest, smartest, and strongest survive in the wild.

Now consider the following paragraph. Notice the manydifferent types of additions and changes the writer made to create a thorough and vivid description of ahyena.

Definition The spotted hyena, a meat-eating mammal that roams the plainsof Africa, is a fierce and able hunter. The spotted hyena is similar to a gray wolf in some ways. It has powerful jaws and sharp feet.However, unlike the wolf, the spotted hyena has strong, stubby hind legs. Hunting in large packs allows the spotted hyena to Overwhelm much larger prey, such as the gazelle, a deer-like animal. The moment a gazelle becomes separated from the herd, the pack quickly moves in for the kill. Hovering around the prey in an ever-tightening circle, the menacing group sounds a shrill, piercing cry before setting upon its victim. Only the fittest, smartest, and strongest survive in the wild.

AdjectiveComparison

Contrast

Adjective

Example

SensoryDetails

Elaboration StrategiesElaboration Strategies

Use highly descriptive words, including vivid Use highly descriptive words, including vivid adjectives and adverbs, precise verbs and adjectives and adverbs, precise verbs and nouns.nouns.

Give a detailed definition that illustrates your Give a detailed definition that illustrates your point.point.

Provide an example to illustrate your point.Provide an example to illustrate your point. Use comparison to explain how what you are Use comparison to explain how what you are

describing is similar to something. Metaphors describing is similar to something. Metaphors and similes are types of comparisionand similes are types of comparision

Include fact to support your main idea.Include fact to support your main idea.Use a statistic to support your main idea. Use a statistic to support your main idea.

Statistics are facts in numerical form.Statistics are facts in numerical form.Use sensory details, descriptive language Use sensory details, descriptive language

that appeals to one or more of the five that appeals to one or more of the five senses.senses.

Use cause and effect to explain how one Use cause and effect to explain how one thing causes another, or how one thing thing causes another, or how one thing results from another.results from another.

Using the strategies for elaboration Using the strategies for elaboration in your notes, rewrite the following in your notes, rewrite the following paragraph by adding more detail. paragraph by adding more detail. Remember to create a clear, well-Remember to create a clear, well-defined “word picture” for the defined “word picture” for the reader. Write the type of reader. Write the type of elaboration you used above each elaboration you used above each group of words.group of words.

My day is filled with activity. I wake up very early, eat breakfast, and go to school. OnceIn the classroom, I am on a very tight schedule.Each class has its own routine. I am glad whenThe lunch bell finally rings because I finally have time to relax. However, all too soon lunchis over and I am in the classroom for the restof the afternoon. When school is out, I go home,eat, do my homework, and go to bed. The nextday, I do it all again.