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What is EI What is EI Why is it important Why is it important How it can be developed How it can be developed What are the components of What are the components of EI EI

What is EI What is EI Why is it important Why is it important How it can be developed How it can be developed What are the components of EI What are the

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Page 1: What is EI What is EI Why is it important Why is it important How it can be developed How it can be developed What are the components of EI What are the

What is EIWhat is EIWhy is it importantWhy is it importantHow it can be developedHow it can be developedWhat are the components of EIWhat are the components of EI

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Emotional Emotional intelligenceintelligence

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Emotional intelligenceEmotional intelligence

Daniel Goleman stated: Daniel Goleman stated:

"...in navigating our lives, it "...in navigating our lives, it is our fears and envies, our is our fears and envies, our rages and depressions, our rages and depressions, our worries and anxieties that worries and anxieties that steer us day to day. steer us day to day.

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Even the most academically Even the most academically brilliant among us are brilliant among us are vulnerable to being undone by vulnerable to being undone by unruly emotions. unruly emotions.

The price we pay for emotional The price we pay for emotional illiteracy is illiteracy is

in failed marriages in failed marriages troubled families,troubled families, in stunted social and work in stunted social and work

lives, lives, in deteriorating physical healthin deteriorating physical health

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What are EMOTIONS?What are EMOTIONS?

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Our emotions guide us in facing Our emotions guide us in facing predicaments and tasks (too predicaments and tasks (too important to leave to intellect important to leave to intellect alone) – alone) –

danger, danger, painful loss, painful loss, persisting toward a goal despite persisting toward a goal despite

frustrations,frustrations, bonding with a mate, building a bonding with a mate, building a

family.family.

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Each emotion offers a Each emotion offers a distinctive readiness to act; distinctive readiness to act; each points us in a direction each points us in a direction that has worked well to that has worked well to handle the recurring handle the recurring challenges of human lifechallenges of human life

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All emotions are, in essence All emotions are, in essence impulses to act.impulses to act.

The instant plans for handling The instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled life that evolution has instilled in us. in us.

The very root of the word The very root of the word emotion is emotion is moteremotere, the Latin , the Latin verb "to move". Plus the prefix verb "to move". Plus the prefix "e-" to connote "move away", "e-" to connote "move away", suggesting that a tendency to suggesting that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion.act is implicit in every emotion.

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what is Emotional what is Emotional IntelligenceIntelligence?? The term The term encompasses the five encompasses the five characteristics and abilities: characteristics and abilities:

Self-awarenessSelf-awareness----knowing your knowing your emotions, recognizing feelings as emotions, recognizing feelings as they occur, and discriminating they occur, and discriminating between thembetween them

Mood managementMood management---handling -handling feelings so they're relevant to feelings so they're relevant to the current situation and you the current situation and you react appropriately react appropriately

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EmpathyEmpathy---recognizing feelings -recognizing feelings in others and tuning into their in others and tuning into their verbal and nonverbal cues verbal and nonverbal cues

Managing relationshipsManaging relationships----handling interpersonal handling interpersonal interaction, conflict resolution, interaction, conflict resolution, and negotiations and negotiations

Self-motivationSelf-motivation--"gathering --"gathering up" your feelings and directing up" your feelings and directing yourself towards a goal, yourself towards a goal, despite self-doubt, inertia, and despite self-doubt, inertia, and impulsivenessimpulsiveness

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Why Do We Need Why Do We Need Emotional Intelligence?Emotional Intelligence?

Research in brain-based Research in brain-based learning suggests that learning suggests that emotional health is fundamental emotional health is fundamental to effective learning. to effective learning.

The most critical element for a The most critical element for a student's success in school is an student's success in school is an understanding of how to learnunderstanding of how to learn. .

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The key ingredients for The key ingredients for understanding how to learn understanding how to learn are: are:

ConfidenceConfidence

CuriosityCuriosity

Intentionality Intentionality

Self-controlSelf-controlRelatednessRelatednessCapacity to communicate Capacity to communicate Ability to cooperateAbility to cooperate

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Basically, a student Basically, a student who who learnslearns to learn is much to learn is much more apt to succeed. more apt to succeed.

Emotional Intelligence has Emotional Intelligence has proven a better predictor of proven a better predictor of future success than future success than traditional methods like the traditional methods like the IQ, and standardized test IQ, and standardized test scores. scores.

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Activity Activity

What emotions do you What emotions do you show?show?

What do you What do you understand about EI?understand about EI?

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““Emotional Intelligence is Emotional Intelligence is a master aptitude, a a master aptitude, a capacity that profoundly capacity that profoundly affects all other abilities, affects all other abilities, either facilitating or either facilitating or interfering with them."interfering with them."Daniel Goleman Daniel Goleman

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Researchers have concluded Researchers have concluded that that people who manage theirpeople who manage their own feelings well and dealown feelings well and deal effectivelyeffectively with others are with others are more likely to live content more likely to live content lives. lives.

Happy people are more apt Happy people are more apt to retain information and do to retain information and do so so more effectively than more effectively than dissatisfied peopledissatisfied people. .

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They can then use that They can then use that information to behave information to behave appropriately in complex appropriately in complex social situationssocial situations

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Building one's Building one's Emotional Emotional Intelligence has a Intelligence has a lifelong impact.lifelong impact.

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Many parents and educators, Many parents and educators, alarmed by increasing levels alarmed by increasing levels of conflict in young of conflict in young schoolchildren--schoolchildren--from low self-from low self-esteem to early drug and esteem to early drug and alcohol use to depressionalcohol use to depression, are , are rushing to teach students the rushing to teach students the skills necessary for Emotional skills necessary for Emotional Intelligence. Intelligence.

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Another surprising discovery Another surprising discovery from research has to do with from research has to do with fathers. fathers.

Studies found that when Studies found that when fathers adopt an Emotion-fathers adopt an Emotion-Coaching style of parenting, it Coaching style of parenting, it has an extremely positive has an extremely positive impact on their children's impact on their children's emotional developmentemotional development. .

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When fathers are aware of their kids' When fathers are aware of their kids' feelings and try to help them solve feelings and try to help them solve problems, children do better in school problems, children do better in school and in relationships with others. In and in relationships with others. In contrast, an emotionally distant dad-one contrast, an emotionally distant dad-one who is harsh, critical, or dismissing of his who is harsh, critical, or dismissing of his children's emotions-can have a deeply children's emotions-can have a deeply negative impact. His kids are more likely negative impact. His kids are more likely to do poorly in school, fight more with to do poorly in school, fight more with friends, and have poor health. friends, and have poor health.

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typically happens in five steps. The typically happens in five steps. The parents: parents:

1. become aware of the child's emotion; 1. become aware of the child's emotion; 2. recognize the emotion as an 2. recognize the emotion as an

opportunity for intimacy and teaching; opportunity for intimacy and teaching; 3. listen empathetically, validating the 3. listen empathetically, validating the

child's feelings; child's feelings; 4. help the child find words to label the 4. help the child find words to label the

emotion he is having; andemotion he is having; and 5. set limits while exploring strategies to 5. set limits while exploring strategies to

solve the problem at hand. solve the problem at hand.

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The Effects of Emotion CoachingThe Effects of Emotion Coaching What difference does it make when children What difference does it make when children

have Emotion-Coaching parents? By have Emotion-Coaching parents? By observing and analyzing in detail the words, observing and analyzing in detail the words, actions, and emotional responses of families actions, and emotional responses of families over time, as we have done in our studies, we over time, as we have done in our studies, we have discovered a truly significant contrast. have discovered a truly significant contrast.

Children whose parents consistently practice Children whose parents consistently practice Emotion Coaching have better physical Emotion Coaching have better physical health and score higher academically than health and score higher academically than children whose parents don't offer such children whose parents don't offer such guidance. These kids get along better with guidance. These kids get along better with friends, have fewer behavior problems, and friends, have fewer behavior problems, and are less prone to acts of violence. are less prone to acts of violence.

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Over all, children who are Over all, children who are Emotion-Coached experience Emotion-Coached experience fewer negative feelings and more fewer negative feelings and more positive feelings. In short, they're positive feelings. In short, they're more healthy emotionally.more healthy emotionally.

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The world is replete with high The world is replete with high IQ people living below IQ people living below standard lives. standard lives.

IQ only contributes only 4%-IQ only contributes only 4%-10% toward success. 10% toward success.

So, the answer lies more in So, the answer lies more in our abilities our abilities to influence to influence others.others.

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To be successful requires To be successful requires the effective awareness, the effective awareness, control control and management and management of one's own emotions, and of one's own emotions, and

those of other peoplethose of other people

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EQ embraces two aspects of EQ embraces two aspects of intelligence:intelligence:

Understanding yourself, Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and responses, behaviour and all. all.

Understanding others, Understanding others, and their feelings. and their feelings.

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Daniel Goleman

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Describe a situation when a child Describe a situation when a child would show anger? How will you would show anger? How will you help the child to manage the help the child to manage the emotion?emotion?

A child has lost its toy. Will you A child has lost its toy. Will you find it, ask the child to find, or help find it, ask the child to find, or help the child to find by making the the child to find by making the child to recollect. Why? Give an child to recollect. Why? Give an example.example.

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Jessie sees her friend fall down Jessie sees her friend fall down and start to cry, she too may and start to cry, she too may become tearful. become tearful. By the time she's By the time she's age 4 or 5, Jessie has reached a age 4 or 5, Jessie has reached a level of self-control that enables level of self-control that enables her to understand her friend's her to understand her friend's emotion without having to cry emotion without having to cry herselfherself. . To reinforce this EQ-To reinforce this EQ-boosting ability, you might say boosting ability, you might say something like, "I see that Isabel is something like, "I see that Isabel is crying. I bet you understand how crying. I bet you understand how she feels.she feels.

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Your 4-year-old won't go to bed Your 4-year-old won't go to bed because she's upset that she can't because she's upset that she can't find the stuffed dog she find the stuffed dog she alwaysalways sleeps with. sleeps with. Use the occasion to Use the occasion to develop her can-do skillsdevelop her can-do skills by by explaining calmly, explaining calmly, "We need to "We need to findfind Sparkles.Sparkles. We've looked in We've looked in your room and he's not there. your room and he's not there. Try Try to remember where you were to remember where you were when you last played with him. when you last played with him. Was it the living room or the den?"Was it the living room or the den?"

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When you find the toy, your When you find the toy, your happy child will have learned happy child will have learned an important lesson: an important lesson: how to how to tackle and solve a problem tackle and solve a problem rationally and systematically.rationally and systematically. And the more practice she gets And the more practice she gets channeling emotional moments channeling emotional moments into solutions, the into solutions, the better better equipped she'll be to succeed equipped she'll be to succeed in her world. in her world.

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It helps to remember that It helps to remember that older babies and toddlers also older babies and toddlers also need guidance in need guidance in labeling labeling their emotional responsestheir emotional responses

Even as you encourage your Even as you encourage your toddler to feel, understand, toddler to feel, understand, and express emotions, you and express emotions, you can model behavior that will can model behavior that will help him learn about self-help him learn about self-control control

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While school kids may be highly While school kids may be highly attuned to their peers, they still attuned to their peers, they still look to their parents as models look to their parents as models and even as heroes. and even as heroes. That's why That's why we must be diligent in exhibiting we must be diligent in exhibiting emotional intelligence.emotional intelligence.

We need to scrutinize our We need to scrutinize our coping skills to be sure they are coping skills to be sure they are what we want to pass along to what we want to pass along to our children. our children.

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A quick test: You're late for a A quick test: You're late for a doctor's appointment and doctor's appointment and your car runs out of gas. your car runs out of gas. Do Do you slam your fists against you slam your fists against the wheel and curse your bad the wheel and curse your bad luck?luck?

Or do you find the nearest gas Or do you find the nearest gas station, call the doctor to let station, call the doctor to let her know you'll be late, and her know you'll be late, and refill the tank? refill the tank?

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Goleman identified the five Goleman identified the five 'domains' of EQ as: 'domains' of EQ as:

Knowing your emotions. Knowing your emotions. Managing your own emotions. Managing your own emotions. Motivating yourself. Motivating yourself. Recognising and understanding Recognising and understanding

other people's emotions. other people's emotions. Managing relationships, ie., Managing relationships, ie.,

managing the emotions of othersmanaging the emotions of others

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CheckCheck

What is Emotional Intelligence What is Emotional Intelligence according to you?according to you?

Who first suggested this Who first suggested this concept?concept?

Which are the five areas of Which are the five areas of EQ?EQ?

EQ = ?EQ = ?

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Top Ten Ways to Raise Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent KidsEmotionally Intelligent KidsBy Mark BrandenburgBy Mark Brandenburg

Having a high level of emotional Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is intelligence in your children is the best way to ensure that they the best way to ensure that they live a happy, successful and live a happy, successful and responsible life as an adult. responsible life as an adult.

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1. 1. Model emotional Model emotional intelligence yourself.intelligence yourself.Yes, your kids are watching Yes, your kids are watching very closely. very closely. They see how They see how you respond to frustrationyou respond to frustration, , they see how resilient you are they see how resilient you are and they see whether you're and they see whether you're aware of your own feelings aware of your own feelings and the feelings of others.and the feelings of others.

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2. 2. Be willing to say "no" to Be willing to say "no" to your kids.your kids.There's a lot of stuff out there for There's a lot of stuff out there for kids, and your kids will ask for a kids, and your kids will ask for a lot of it. lot of it. Saying no will give your Saying no will give your kids an opportunity to deal with kids an opportunity to deal with disappointment and to learn disappointment and to learn impulse control. impulse control. To a certain To a certain degree, allow your kids to be degree, allow your kids to be frustrated and to work through it.frustrated and to work through it. Kids who always Kids who always get what they want get what they want

typically aren'ttypically aren't very happy.very happy.

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3. 3. Be aware of your parental Be aware of your parental "hotspots.""hotspots."Know what your issues are -- what Know what your issues are -- what makes you come unglued, and what's makes you come unglued, and what's this really about? Is it not being in this really about? Is it not being in control? Not being respected? control? Not being respected? Underneath these issues lies a fear Underneath these issues lies a fear about something.about something. Get to know what Get to know what your fear is, so you're less likely to your fear is, so you're less likely to come unglued when you're with your come unglued when you're with your kids. Knowing your issues doesn't kids. Knowing your issues doesn't make them go away -- it just makes it make them go away -- it just makes it easier to plan for and to deal with.easier to plan for and to deal with.

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4. 4. Practice and hone your skills Practice and hone your skills at being non-judgmental.at being non-judgmental.Start labeling feelings and avoid Start labeling feelings and avoid name-calling. Say, "He seems name-calling. Say, "He seems angry," rather than "What a jerk." angry," rather than "What a jerk." When your kids are whiny or crying, When your kids are whiny or crying, saying things like, "You seem sad," saying things like, "You seem sad," will always be better than just asking will always be better than just asking them to stop.them to stop. Depriving kids of the Depriving kids of the toddler years, you can start coaching toddler years, you can start coaching them to help them to be more them to help them to be more responsible. responsible.

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5. 5. Start coaching your Start coaching your kids.kids.When kids are beyond the hat When kids are beyond the hat and gloves," you can ask, and gloves," you can ask, "What do you need to be "What do you need to be ready for school?" ready for school?" Constantly Constantly telling your kids what to do telling your kids what to do does not help them to develop does not help them to develop confidence and responsibility.confidence and responsibility.

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6. 6. Always be willing to be part Always be willing to be part of the problem.of the problem.See yourself as having something See yourself as having something to do with every problem that to do with every problem that comes along. comes along. Most problems in Most problems in families get bigger when parents families get bigger when parents respond to them in a way that respond to them in a way that exacerbates the problem. exacerbates the problem.

If your child makes a mistake, If your child makes a mistake, remember how crucial it is for you remember how crucial it is for you to have a calm, reasoned response.to have a calm, reasoned response.

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7. 7. Get your kids involved in Get your kids involved in household duties at an early household duties at an early age.age.Research suggests that kids who Research suggests that kids who are involved in household chores are involved in household chores from an early age tend to be from an early age tend to be happier and more successful. happier and more successful. Why? Why? From an early age, they're From an early age, they're made to feel they are an made to feel they are an important part of the family. Kids important part of the family. Kids want to belong and to feel like want to belong and to feel like they're valuable.they're valuable.

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8. 8. Limit your kids access to Limit your kids access to mass media mania.mass media mania. Young kids Young kids need to play, not spend time in front need to play, not spend time in front of a screen. of a screen. To develop creativity To develop creativity and problem-solving skills, allow and problem-solving skills, allow your kids time to use free playyour kids time to use free play. . Much of the mass media market can Much of the mass media market can teach your kids about consumerism, teach your kids about consumerism, sarcasm and violence. sarcasm and violence. What your kids What your kids learn from you and from free play with learn from you and from free play with others will provide the seeds for future others will provide the seeds for future emotional intelligence. emotional intelligence.

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9. 9. Talk about feelings as a Talk about feelings as a family.family.State your emotional goals as a State your emotional goals as a family.family.

These might be no yelling, no These might be no yelling, no name-calling, be respectful at all name-calling, be respectful at all times, etc. times, etc.

Families that talk about their goals Families that talk about their goals are more likely to be aware of them are more likely to be aware of them and to achieve them. As the parent, and to achieve them. As the parent, you then have to "walk the talk."you then have to "walk the talk."

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10. 10. See your kids as wonderful.See your kids as wonderful.There is no greater way to create There is no greater way to create emotional intelligence in your child emotional intelligence in your child than to see them as wonderful and than to see them as wonderful and capable. capable.

One law of the universe is, "What One law of the universe is, "What you think about expands." If you see you think about expands." If you see your child and think about them as your child and think about them as wonderful, you'll get a lot of wonderful, you'll get a lot of "wonderful.""wonderful."

If you think about your child as a If you think about your child as a problem, you'll get a lot of problems.problem, you'll get a lot of problems.

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Plan Plan two activitiestwo activities to put to put into use the 10 ways to into use the 10 ways to raise emotionally intelligent raise emotionally intelligent kidskids

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Having a high IQ is nice, but Having a high IQ is nice, but having a high "EQ" is even having a high "EQ" is even better.better. Make these 10 ideas daily Make these 10 ideas daily habits and you'll give your habits and you'll give your kids the best chance kids the best chance possible to be happy, possible to be happy, productive and responsible productive and responsible adults!!!!!adults!!!!!

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CheckCheck

Give any six ways of Give any six ways of nurturing Emotionally nurturing Emotionally Intelligent children.Intelligent children.

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What teacher can doWhat teacher can dobecome aware of the child's become aware of the child's emotionemotion

recognize the emotion as an recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and opportunity for intimacy and teachingteaching

listen empathetically, listen empathetically, validating the child's feelings; validating the child's feelings;

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help the child find words help the child find words to label the emotion he to label the emotion he is havingis having

set limits while set limits while exploring strategies to exploring strategies to solve the problem at solve the problem at hand. hand.

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Institute morning meetingsInstitute morning meetings.. Starting your day with a Starting your day with a morning class meeting provides morning class meeting provides numerous opportunities to numerous opportunities to support social and emotional support social and emotional learning: It helps build a sense learning: It helps build a sense of community, creates a of community, creates a climate of trust, encourages climate of trust, encourages respectful communication, and respectful communication, and much, much more. much, much more.

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Introduce journal writingIntroduce journal writing. .

This familiar educational This familiar educational tool can be a very tool can be a very effective way of effective way of developing self-awareness developing self-awareness among students.among students.

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• • Emphasize responsibilityEmphasize responsibility. .

Formalize tasks in your Formalize tasks in your classroom, such as classroom, such as maintaining the chalk or white maintaining the chalk or white boards, bringing papers to the boards, bringing papers to the school office, or handing out school office, or handing out balls and other playground balls and other playground equipment at recess.. equipment at recess.. It also It also provides everyone with the provides everyone with the opportunity to contribute to opportunity to contribute to the daily management of the the daily management of the class.class.

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Encourage creativityEncourage creativity.. Creativity is most necessary Creativity is most necessary in times of in times of emotional emotional hardship, such as when hardship, such as when we're frustrated or angry. we're frustrated or angry.

By providing your students By providing your students with ongoing opportunities with ongoing opportunities to express their creativity, to express their creativity, you'll also be helping them you'll also be helping them handle the inevitable curve handle the inevitable curve balls that life throws at balls that life throws at themthem. .

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CommunicatingCommunicatingDeveloping quality Developing quality relationships has a very relationships has a very positive effect on all involved. positive effect on all involved. What feelings are being What feelings are being communicated to others?communicated to others? Enthusiasm and optimism are Enthusiasm and optimism are contagious as are pessimism contagious as are pessimism and negativity.and negativity.

Being able to express personal Being able to express personal concerns without anger or concerns without anger or passivity is a key asset.passivity is a key asset.

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Self awarenessSelf awarenessOne of the basic emotional skills One of the basic emotional skills involves being able to recognise involves being able to recognise feelings and put a name on feelings and put a name on them. them.

It is also important to be aware of It is also important to be aware of the relationship between the relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions. thoughts, feelings and actions.

What thought sparked off that What thought sparked off that feeling? What feeling was feeling? What feeling was behind that action? behind that action?

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Managing emotionsManaging emotionsIt is important to realise what It is important to realise what is behind feelings.is behind feelings.

Beliefs have a fundamental Beliefs have a fundamental effect on the ability to act and effect on the ability to act and on how things are done.on how things are done.

Many people continually give Many people continually give themselves negative themselves negative messages. Hope can be a messages. Hope can be a useful asset. useful asset.

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Understanding what Understanding what happens when emotions happens when emotions get the upper hand and get the upper hand and how to gain time to judge if how to gain time to judge if what is about to be said or what is about to be said or done in the heat of the done in the heat of the moment is really the best moment is really the best thing to do. thing to do. Being able to Being able to channel emotions to a channel emotions to a positive end is a key positive end is a key aptitudeaptitude..

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In addition, finding In addition, finding ways to deal with ways to deal with anger, fear, anxiety anger, fear, anxiety and sadness is and sadness is essential:essential: learning learning how to soothe oneself how to soothe oneself when upset, for when upset, for example. example.

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EmpathyEmpathyGetting the measure of a Getting the measure of a situation and being able to act situation and being able to act appropriately requires appropriately requires understanding the feelings of understanding the feelings of the others involved and being the others involved and being able to take their perspective. able to take their perspective.

It is important to be able to It is important to be able to listen to them without being listen to them without being carried away by personal carried away by personal emotions.. emotions..

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There's a need to be able to There's a need to be able to distinguish between what distinguish between what others do or say and others do or say and personal reactions and personal reactions and judgmentsjudgments

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Co-operationCo-operationKnowing how and when to Knowing how and when to take the lead and when to take the lead and when to follow is essential for effective follow is essential for effective co-operation.co-operation.

Effective leadership is not Effective leadership is not built on domination but the built on domination but the art of helping people work art of helping people work together on common goals. together on common goals.

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Recognising the value of the Recognising the value of the contribution of others and contribution of others and encouraging their participation encouraging their participation can often do more good than can often do more good than givinggiving orders or complaining. orders or complaining.

At the same time, there is a At the same time, there is a need to take responsibilities need to take responsibilities and recognise the and recognise the consequences of decisions consequences of decisions and acts and follow through and acts and follow through on commitmentson commitments..

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Resolving conflictsResolving conflictsIn resolving conflicts there is a In resolving conflicts there is a need to understand the need to understand the mechanisms at work. mechanisms at work.

People in conflict are People in conflict are generally locked into a self-generally locked into a self-perpetuating emotional spiral perpetuating emotional spiral in which the declared subject in which the declared subject of conflict is rarely the key of conflict is rarely the key issue. issue.

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CheckCheck

Give any seven activities, Give any seven activities, which a teacher can do which a teacher can do school to bring up EQ of school to bring up EQ of studentsstudents

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