What I’ve Learned from Men

by Barbara Ehrenreich

                                                                                          

Building vocabulary

1.

Understanding the writer’s ideas

1. That men are of little use for the serious things of life—although the message is offered wryly rather than in anger or self-righteousness.

Understanding the writer’s ideas

2. The “tough” guy has “an aura of power and control” (par. 6), is assertive and aggressive (par. 4), claims his achievements (par. 6), keeps a poker face (par. 7), keeps silent when he wishes (par. 9), knows how to get mad (par. 11), and of course has magical effect on waiters. The ladylike woman is servile and committed to being nice (par. 4), has her on-cue smile ready for all occasions (par. 4), simpers in tight spots (par. 5), is self-deprecating (par. 6), chatters (par. 8), gets irritated rather than angry (par. 11), and of course is invisible to waiters.

Understanding the writer’s ideas

3. To show that ladylikeness infects most women, even well-known and “full-grown” (par. 3) feminists.

4. Because women associate their own exercise of power with selfishness and destructiveness (par. 6).

Understanding the writer’s ideas

5. (should stop doing) Unnecessary smiling (par. 7) and being the ones responsible to keep conversation going. (why?) Because these acts of deference make it appear the other party has the “power advantage” (par. 8).(should start doing) Women should take credit where credit is due (par. 10) and learn to show anger (par. 11). (why?) Because taking credit tells others you are confident, and intend to continue to succeed (par. 10); because diverting anger into a minor key is weak.

Understanding the writer’s techniques

1. The tone is argumentative, mocking and iconoclastic but in a light almost amused vein. The opening clause of the first sentence, with its possibility of high seriousness, is deflated by the clause which follows the colon. We are thus led to expect a debunking attitude toward men, and toward relations between men and women. (continues)

Understanding the writer’s techniques

1. (continues) The view of men as performers of “conversational euthanasia” or as oblivious slobs reinforces the attitude established in the opening sentence. Similarly, the surprise of what the writer expects women to learn is again consonant with the opening tone of the essay.

Understanding the writer’s techniques

2. To allow the debunking tone of the first two paragraphs to prepare the ground for the writer’s thesis, increasing the effect of surprise and assuring the emotional consent of her reader (or of her women readers) for her main argument.

Understanding the writer’s techniques

3. (3 & 4): By picking up the notion of “lady” that ends par. 3 in the first few words of par. 4, which defines “ladylikeness.”

(4 & 5): By contrasting “wimps” (the last word of par. 4) and “macho stars.”

(6 & &): By using “So” to signal a casual summing up of what came before, and then restating the thesis (“We might as well get a little tougher”).

Understanding the writer’s techniques

4. As a feminist psychiatrist, Miller can speak with authority about women’s psychology. Ehrenreich can therefore use Miller’s insights to illuminate the meaning of certain “standard” behaviors of women, as well as to support remedial strategies.

Understanding the writer’s techniques

5. The informality reinforces the debunking tone of the essay, whereas the formal usage establishes a professional authority. The essay appeared in MS. And was intended, therefore, for a fairly general, “popular” audience.

Understanding the writer’s techniques

6. To show through personal example how life could be different if only women were to get tough—thus clinching her thesis.