What Everybody Ought to Know About Malay Wedding

8/13/2019 What Everybody Ought to Know About Malay Wedding

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A Malay Wedding

A Malay wedding is one of the most

notable and lavish occasions in Malaysociety. Rich in local tradition melded

with the tenets of Islam, the weddingcelebrates the couples marriage in aceremony that fits for a king and queen.he wedding consists of several parts

and covers more than a day.


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!efore the wedding proper itself,there is the engagement custom. "hen

the man announces his intention to marrythe woman, the adat bertunang #orengagement custom$ is set, in which thecouples families discuss the plan for

wedding in the home of the brides

family. At the same time, there is thehenna%staining rite to signify theimminent marriage ceremony. In this rite,

the couples loved ones stain the couplesfingertips with henna oil.

After the engagement, the first formalpart of a Malay wedding proper is calledthe akad nikah#or the marriage contract$,as required by Islamic and civil laws as it

gives the marriage its sacred and legalcharacteristics. In this ceremony, thecouple signs the marriage contract, and


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the marriage is solemni&ed beforereligious officials. he groom pledges to

the bride a mas kahwin, whichsymboli&es his promise to take care ofthe bride and have a family. In someways, this is similar to a dowry e'cept

that it is the groom who is paying the

mas kahwin.

he ne't part of a Malay wedding, the

bersanding #or bethronement or thesitting together$ is more intricate. It is

actually the wedding day. It may happena day after the nikah ceremony. !ut itmay take several days after, as it is moreelaborate and requires careful planning.

(uring the bersanding ceremony, thecouple sits on a sofa called thepelamin.!efore the ceremony itself which usuallyhappens in the afternoon, guests are


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entertained in the grooms house in themorning. he ceremony starts off when

the groom and his guests, accompaniedby male musicians #hadrah or kompangband$, make a procession to meet thebride in the brides home. Attempts to

stop the meeting of the groom and bride

may be comically staged.

)pon arrival, he pays ta' to the

brides family. In the main part of thebersanding, the couple sits together on

thepelamin situated on a platform. As amark of approval and blessing, lovedones and guests sprinkle the couple withscented water and yellow rice. he guestsare then given a bunga telur, an

ornamented egg festooned with a flower,as a sign of fertility.


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(uring this part of the Malaywedding, the couple is treated like

royality. *ence, traditions in a royalcourt are observed. +or e'ample, courtattendants in royal court costumes servethe newly wed people acting as royal

guards perform a demonstration of the

traditional martial art called silat.Musicians also play Malay court music.

-ote that bethronement may be doneagain in the house of the groom. After

the bethronement, the couple leads theirguests to a formal dinner or makanberadab. he Malay wedding isconcluded when the couple pays respectto their respective families and

photographs are snapped.

ynonyms/ Find the words with thesimilar meaning from the article above.


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noteworthy 0notable

e'travagant 0 lavish

blended 0 melded

principles 0 tenets

ritual 0 rite

formali&ed 0 solemni&ed

wedding gift 0 dowry

complicated 0 intricate

parade 0 procession

witnessed 0 observed

captured0 snapped

Structure

TITLE

To tell the reader what your article is about


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INTRODUCTION

Gives an idea on what the rest of your article is about

BOD

Details about the different !oints you wish to "ention

Use si"!le !resent tense and suitable sentence connectors

CONCLU#ION

$ su""ary of what you have written

#u%%estion to the !roble"

Chinese Wedding Traditions

1 Introduction1 2ver 3,455 6ear *istory1 he 7roposal1 he !etrothal1 "edding 7reparations

1 (ay of the "edding1 7ost%"edding Ritual1 8ontemporary "edding 8ustoms

INTRODUCTION: Purpose and !i"itations#$ o% This Su""ary
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he following summary of traditional 8hinese wedding customs was prepared in response toquestions from visitors to this site. It is by no means a scholarly work, nor does the author claimany special e'pertise. Moreover, there were variations across 8hinas vast e'panse 9 from regionto region and even village to village. 7resumably, there were also significant differencesreflecting the brides and grooms wealth and social status. So &hat %ollo&s 'elo& "ust 'e seen

as only a co"posite o% "any (ariations o% &edding rituals that &ere in practice in the past)

*ISTOR+: O(er ,-.// +ears o% Tradition

ystemi&ation of apparently pre%e'isting elements of traditional 8hinese wedding ceremony isgenerally credited to scholars of the"arring tates period, 453%33: !.8.hree venerable te'ts,

The Book of Rites, The Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial, and the Baihu Tongoutline the hree8ovenants and the i' Rites, that were considered necessary elements of a marriage. *owever,the full ritual was so complicated that even within the span of the "arring tates period, theetiquette underwent changes and simplification.

"hat remained constant were thechief ob;ectives/ ;oining and enhancing the two families andensuring succession with numerous descendants. Reverence to parents and ancestors, omens toencourage fertility and wealth, financial and social obligations contracted by both families at thebetrothal, e'tensive gift giving etiquette, and the 'ride0s incorporation into her hus'and0s%a"ilyare recurring elements.

ANCI1NT MARRIA21 CUSTOMS

The Proposal

he process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance. his process was placedin the hands of a go%between, who acted as a buffer between the two parties 9 a role similar tothat of a real estate agent today. he important parties in proposal and betrothal negotiationswere the parents of the prospective bride and groom, rather than the bride and groom themselves.


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he grooms family would place this document on the ancestral altar for three days. If noinauspicious omens, e.g. quarrels between the parents or a loss of property, took place within thattime, the parents would give the information to a astrological e3pertto confirm that the youngwoman and their son would make a good match. If the boys family found the horoscope to befavorable, they gave the boys birth date and hour to the go%between to bring to the girls family,

who would go through the same process.

2nly after both outcomes were favorable, would the two families arrange to meet. +inally face%to%face, each family evaluated the other in terms of appearance, education, character, and socialposition. If both were satisfied they would proceed to the betrothal.

The 4etrothal

+irst both sets of parents e'changed family credentials as tokens of intention. hen, a%ter

e3tensi(e 'argaining, the two families would arrive at the amount of money and goods thatwould make up the gift to the girls family. After presenting engage"ent to5ens, the go%between would ask the brides family to chose among severalauspicious wedding datessuggested by the boys family and also set a date for presenting betrothal gifts.

The 'oy0s %a"ily presented 'etrothal gi%ts of money and significant items such as tea,6Dragon "ale$ and Phoeni3 %e"ale$6bridal cakes, pairs of male and female poultry,sweetmeats and sugar, wine and tobacco, accompanied by an itemi&ed statement of these gifts.ea was such a primary part of these gifts in some areas that they were known collectively aschali, that is, =tea presents.= he girls family reciprocated with gifts of food and clothing.

It was customary for the girls family to distribute the 'ridal ca5esthey received from the boysfamily to friends and relatives as a form of announcement and invitation to the wedding feast.he number of cakes given to each was established according to a rigid etiquette, on the basis ofseniority and degree of intimacy. hose who received the bridal cakes, were e'pected to presentcongratulatory gifts to the girls parents.

he boys familys gifts acknowledged the parents efforts in raising the girl, and 'y acceptingthe gi%ts- the girl0s %a"ily pledged her to the 'oy0s . It is interesting to note that the bride wasgiven to the family rather than the groom alone. Although the bride and groom probably had notmet yet, betrothal was considered bindingunless both families agreed to annul the contract.

everal days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts, the girls family sent porters with aninventoried do&ryto the boys house. he dowry consisted of practical items, including achamber pot, filled for the occasion with fruit and strings of coins. his procession gave thegirls family the opportunity to display both their social status and their love for their daughter,and wealthy parents often included serving girls to attend their daughter in her new home.

!etrothals generally lasted for a year or two, although child betrothals would last until thechildren had grown to marriageable age.
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Preparing %or the Wedding Day

Retreating to the Cock Loft

In preparation for her impending departure, the bride%to%be retreated from the ordinary routineand lived in seclusion in a separate part of the house with her closest friends. (uring this period,the young women sang laments, mourning the brides separation from her family and cursing thego%between 9 as well as the grooms family and even the girls own parents. ince this e'tended?sleep over often took place in the cock loft, the brides emergence on her wedding day wassometimes referred to as =coming out of the cock loft.=

Installing the Bridal Bed

7reparation on the part of the groom involvedthe installation of the bridal bedon the day before

the wedding. A propitious hour and a ?good luck woman or ?good luck man, that is a man orwomen with many children and living mates, were selected to install a newly purchased bed.#he installation ceremony consisted of merely moving the bed slightly the actual work wasdone by servants or friends.$

After the bed was in place, children were invited onto the bed as an omen of fertility 9 the more,the merrier. +or the same reason, the bed was scattered with red dates, oranges, lotus seeds,peanuts, pomegranates and other fruits. 7art of the fun was watching the children scramble forthe fruit.

Day o% the Wedding

he =*air (ressing= Ritual of the bride and the =8apping= Ritual of the groomsymboli&ed theirinitiation into adulthood and were important parts of the wedding preparations. Red,symbolic of;oy, featured prominently in the clothing and other ritual ob;ects pertaining to the wedding.

The "Hair Dressing" Ritual

At dawn on her wedding day #or the night before$, the bride bathed in water infused withpumelo, a variety of grapefruit, to cleanse her of evil influences 9 and one suspects as a

cosmetic to soften her skin in the manner of contemporary alphahydro'ls. he put on newunderclothes and sat before litdragon%and%phoeni'candles.

A ?good luck woman attended the bridal preparations. he spoke auspicious words whiledressing the brides hair in the style of a married woman.

A%ter her hair &as styled, the bride emerged from her retreat. he was carried to the main hallon the back of the ?good luck woman or her most senior sister%in%law. here she donned a ;acket
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and skirt and stepped into a pair of red shoes, placed in the center of a sieve. he brides facewas covered with either a red sil5 (eilor a ?curtain of tassels or beads that hung from the bridal7hoeni' crown. #he photo below was taken at the mock wedding at a prior years 8hineseummer +estival.

After completing her wedding preparations, the 'ride 'o&ed to her parentsand to the ancestraltablets and awaited the arrival of the bridal procession from the grooms house.

The "Capping" Ritual

(ressed in a long gown, red shoes and a red silk sash with a silk ball on his shoulder, the groomknelt at the family altar while his father placed a cap decorated with cypress leaves on his head.

The groo" 'o&ed %irst 'e%ore the ta'lets o% *ea(en and 1arth and his ancestors- then tohis parents and the asse"'led %a"ily "e"'ers)*is father removed the silk ball from the sashand placed it on top of the bridal sedan chair.

The Procession from the Grooms House to !tain the Bride

he dim of firecrackers, loud gongs and drums marked the start of the procession from thegrooms home. he groom led the procession accompanied by a child as an omen of his futuresons, and the bridal sedan chair was proceeded by attendants with lanterns and banners,musicians, and a ?dancing lion or unicorn. According to *siang, =everal decades ago, whenthere was a wedding in +ukien, the groom would to the brides house to fetch her, taking withhim the bridal chair, which was completely covered with red satin and fresh flowers. *e himselfmade the ;ourney there and back in a blue and yellow teak sedan chair. =

2n arriving at the brides house, the grooms party was met by the brides friends, who wouldnot ?surrender the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money, ang paufrom thegrooms representative. his was the occasion of much good%natured haggling before the twoparties could reach an agreement.

In some cases, the groom would take dinner with the brides family, and receive a pair ofchopsticks and two wine goblets wrapped in redpaper, symbolic of his receiving the ;oy of thefamily in the person of their daughter. In some regions, he would be offered sweet longan tea,two hard%boiled eggs in syrup and transparent noodles. Another variation was the groomspartaking of soup with a soft%boiled egg, the yolk of which he was e'pected to break, arguablysymbolic of breaking the brides ties with her family.

The Brides ourne# to the Grooms House

he ?good luck woman or a da;in, employed by the brides family to look after the bride, carriedthe bride on her back to the sedan chair. Another attendant might shield the bride with a parasolwhile a third tossed rice at the sedan chair. ometimes the bride was borne out in a wooden?cage with her feet padlocked 9 presumably a remnant from rougher times with e'tremelyreluctant brides.
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A sieve, shaitse, which would strain out evil, and a metallic mirror, king, which would reflectlight, were suspended at the rear of the brides sedan to protect her from evil influence. he bridemight also attach a special mirror to her garment, which she would not remove until she wassafely seated upon the marriage bed.

+irecrackers were set off to frighten away evil spirits as the bride departed in the sedan chair.he physical movementsymboli&ed the transfer of the bride from her parents family to herhusbands.

@reat care was taken to ensure that no inauspicious influence would affect the marriage. The%e"ale attendantswho escorted the bride to her new home were chosen with particular care thatthe horoscope animals of their birth years were compatible with that of the bridegroom. hesedan chair itself was heavily curtained to prevent the bride from inadvertently glimpsing anunlucky sight, e.g. a widow, a well, or even a cat. Attendants scattered grain or beans, symbols offertility, before her.

$rri%ing at the Grooms House

2nce again, firecrackers were set off ;ust before the procession arrived. A red mat was placedbefore the sedan chair for the bride lest her feet touch the bare earth as she dismounted. All thehousehold would be waiting to receive her.

he bride was required to step over a saddle or a lit sto(e to cross the threshold, since the wordsfor =saddle= and =tranquillity= sound the same,ngan, and the fire would cast out of evilinfluences. An attendant might immediately place a heap of rice in a sieve over or near the bride.If the bride did not wear a lucky mirror, one might be used at this time to flash light upon thebride. In some regions, a grain measure and a string of of copper coins were laid out as talismans

of prosperity.

After these rituals took place, the groom could finally raise the red scarf and view the bridesface.

The Wedding

In contrast to the elaborate preparations, the wedding ceremony itself was simple.he bride andgroom were conducted to the family altar, where they paid ho"ageto *eaven and arth, the

family ancestors and the Bitchen @od, TsaoCh!n. Tea, generally with two lotus seeds or twored dates in the cup, was offered to the grooms parents.

hen the bride and groom bowed to each other. his completed the marriage ceremony, e'ceptin some regions, where both also drank wine from the same goblet, ate sugar molded in the formof a rooster, and partook of the wedding dinner together.

#ee Also/ 8ontemporary 8hinese "edding ea 8eremony.$
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The &uptial Cham!er

Immediately after the ceremony, the couple were led to the bridal chamber, where both sat on thebed. In some areas, honey and wine were poured into two goblets linked by a red thread. hebride and groom took a few sips and then e'changed cups and drank it down. 2n the day of the

wedding #and sometimes for the ne't three days$, the bed chamber was open to visitors,whowere given to teasing the young couple with ribald remarks.

The 'edding Ban(uets

@enerally, separate wedding feasts were given by the parents of the bride and the groom for theirrespective friends and families. ven at the feast, men and women sat separately. here could bea single feast for each or a series of feasts over several days. *owever, the most important feastwas that given the grooms family on the day of the wedding. It was generally considered aspublic recognition of the union.

#ee Also/ 8ontemporary 8hinese "edding !anquet.$

POST7W1DDIN2 RITUA!

Da# $fter the 'edding

2n the day after the wedding, the 'ride a&o5e early to attend honor the ancestors at da&n. Itwas only then that she was then formally introduced to the grooms relatives and friends. As she

5nelt 'e%ore each o% the older relati(es- she recei(ed a s"all gi%t . he brides parents%in%lawgave her a title according to her husbands seniority in the family hierarchy.

Three Da#s $fter the 'edding

In general, three days after the wedding, the couple paid a visit to the brides family home,&here the 'ride is no& recei(ed as a guest)

Contributed B"# $. Rutledge

CONT1MPORAR+ C*IN1S1 W1DDIN2 CUSTOMS

he application of ancient customs in contemporary 8hinese weddings is of great interest ofmany of our visitors. he following may be helpful in applying 8hinese traditions tocontemporary weddings.
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Selecting an Auspicious Wedding Date:

Auspicious days are sub;ect to interpretation by fortune tellers that perform the analysis based onones birth date #day and hour$ after consultation with the 8hinese almanac. Almanacscontaining predictions for the entire year are sold at the beginning of the Cunar -ew 6ear by

street vendors and in book stores. hese paperback books are appro'imately two inches thickwith a wealth of information about 8hinese beliefs. It is said to be the oldest continuouspublication known. (ifferent versions are published in aiwan, *ong Bong and mainland 8hina,but unfortunately an nglish version is not available.

In the 8hinese community it is considered bad form if an individual consults the almanac andperforms a self analysis. hat is why a fortune teller or Fung %ue"DFeng %huiE e'pert isconsulted. hey usually can also provide horoscope information in advance of the publication ofthe almanac.

he :F day period from the middle to the end of the seventh lunar month is considered

inauspicious because that is time of the *ungry @host +estival when the gates of *ell are openedand the lost spirits are allowed to wonder the earth. hey should not be invited to your weddingG

Dou'le *appiness/ ach half of the symbol is the standard character for happiness,written =hsi= or =&i,= and pronounced something like =she= in Mandarin #high leveltone 9 the first tone$. herefore, two =hsi= graphs together represents the wish for thetwo young newlyweds to have happiness together. he double happiness graph

#pronounced =shuanghsi= in Mandarin$ is a special 8hinese character used for maritalhappiness. Its not used in regular 8hinese writing or printing. #ource/ 8hris Hochim,8omparative Religious tudies 7rogram, an Hose tate )niversity, an Hose, 8A$


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What Everybody Ought to Know About Malay Wedding