What does resiliency mean to you? © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™

What does resiliency

mean to you?

© Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™


Resiliency: being flexible;

Being able to take stress without getting hurt;

Being able to get through a hard or bad time and move on.

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• Family• Community

support/programs• A person or people who

believe in us• Religious/spiritual

beliefs 3


COMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATION

BE A COMMUNICATION BRIDGE BUILDER

NOT A WALL MAKER

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• Share information

• Find solutions

How can talking help build a How can talking help build a communication bridge?communication bridge?

It helps us:

COMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATIONcontinued………..continued………..

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• Share feelings

• Ask questions

• Problem solve

• Clarify rules and limits


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• Help reduce anxiety and stress to resolve a situation/problem

• Look at choices and options

• Get to know another person better


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There is a difference between talking to a patient and talking with a patient.

The difference involves learning how to be a good listener.


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This Means:

• Paying attention to what the patient is saying

• Notice how the patient is responding to you

• Being in that moment© Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™

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• Pausing to decide what we want to say and how we want to say it.

• Asking yourself silently: “What is really going on here?” 10


BE AN INFORMATION SHARER

NOT A PREACHER WHO KNOWS IT ALL

© Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™11



We want to be guides and enablers to help the patient

1.Learn how to solve problems

2.Find their own healthy solutions

3.Believe they are able to do it12



Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

Teach a man how to fish and he will be fed for a lifetime.

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POWER OF WORDS


---Take a look at what words can do...

•Encourage us

•Change an attitude

•Inspire us14


POWER OF WORDSContinued >>>

• Change our mood

• Touch our emotions

• Stimulate us

• Reach into our hearts15



• Cause feelings/reactions in our body

• Alter our thoughts

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Words can also become roadblocks that can cause a patient not to talk about a worry or problem.

The tone of voice or a facial look

can have this effect.


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Most of the time people do not stop

to think of the impact their words

have on others every day.

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It is very important to be aware of

the effect our choice of words can

have on patients and influence them.


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This happens by the way the words

are used and spoken..

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FOR EXAMPLE:

POSITIVE NEGATIVE

Build Up

Boost

Support

Put-Down

Judge

Constantly Criticize21



FOR EXAMPLE:

POSITIVE NEGATIVE

Make Clear

Heal

Nurture

Make fun of

Abandon (no support)

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----Words can be used to empower and enable change to happen

-----The power of words can be very strong and healing of the hurts life experience can have on a patient or person.

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----Denying feelings ----telling a patient they shouldn’t feel the way they do.

“You shouldn’t feel so upset about that.”

FOR EXAMPLE:

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FOR EXAMPLE:

----Judging---- Telling a patient---

“What’s the matter with you?”

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FOR EXAMPLE:

----Changing the subject----getting a patient to talk about something else.

“You may be upset, but did you hear what happened to _____?”

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FOR EXAMPLE:

----Advising----instead of solving the problem.

“If I were you I would forget it.”

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FOR EXAMPLE:

----Interpreting----telling a patient why they feel the way they do.

“Why are you being such a big baby?”

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POWER OF WORDSContinued >>

----Sympathizing----instead of empathizing….

Sympathy---- “That was bad. I feel sorry for you.”

Empathy----”I understand how difficult that has been for you.”

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Remember:

A positive attitude can help build resiliency. It can help turn feelings of helplessness into learned self-helpfulness.

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Remember:

Self-worth and self-esteem can be improved by a patient feeling valued.

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HELPING TOOLS

• Acceptance• Being genuine: Be yourself• Not Judging: not blaming, criticizing

or acting shocked• Respect/Sharing• Trustworthy• Understanding

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HELPING TOOLSContinued >>>>

For Example:

•“Am I hearing you say _______________?”

Repeat back what your patient has said.

•“What happened that made you upset (angry, hurt, etc)?”

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LISTENING TOOLS

Many times patients do not feel noticed or heard, because no one takes the time to listen to them.

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LISTENING TOOLS

GOALS TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

• Show the patient you hear and understand them

• Encourage and help the patient talk about their worry, fear or problem

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LISTENING TOOLSContinued>>>>

• Be focused and pay attention

• Stay open to what is being said – do not think about what you are going to say

• Remain neutral in facial and body language

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TOOL TIPS

• Keep good eye contact

• Listen more than talk

• Listen on two levels37


Clarify to be sure.

For example: “You said _______?

Am I right about it?”

This helps to be sure of what was said. You might follow up with an open-ended question such as….




“How do you feel about that” or

“What happened?”

You can also ask “Do you have any ideas

about how to handle this?”39


Listen for feeling as well as content – the tone of voice and the body language.

You can ask: “What are you feeling right now?”


This helps a patient notice their feelings. It can help you to find out and help solve a concern or problem.

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RESPONDING TOOLS

These tools are what we say after we have listened.

There are two goals:

•To show the patient you heard them

•To help the patient talk more


RESPONDING TOOLSContinued >>>>

Clarifying:

For example:

•“I am not quite sure about what you are saying. Can you tell me more?”

•“I want to be clear about what you said. Are you saying_______?’ This helps your patient look more closelyAt thoughts and feelings.



Questioning:For example:

•Open ended: “How did you react when that happened to you?”

•Close ended: “Did you feel angry when that happened to you?”•“Why” questions can cause a patient to feel defensive or judged. It requires giving a reason or explanation and are best not used whenever possible as it can shut down more talking that might help solve a problem.



Paraphrasing:

For example:

•Patient: “I am not going to go there (school, camp, class, program, activity.).”

• Reply: “I feel I don’t understand. Can we talk about this more?”



For example:

•Reply: “You feel ____because_____. Pause and ask if that is right or true? ”

•Reply : “I sense you feel ____ (sad, worried, afraid, etc.)”

•Reply : “Are you feeling sad because the other patients did not include you?”

•Both paraphrasing and reflecting show your patient you understood them and encourage them to keep talking.

Reflecting:



For example:

•“Can you tell me more about what you were first talking about?”

•Remember you are responsible for helping the patient remain focused.

•You can show caring: “I don’t blame you for wanting to change the subject, but it might hurt less after you get it out.”

Staying focused:



For example:

•“I hear you saying “That’s no big deal.”, but you appear tense and may not be recognizing how you really feel.”

• Avoid using this approach if your patient seems very upset or uncomfortable with you as they may be feeling confronted.

Indicating contradictions:



For example:

•“I remember a time when I had an experience like that and what I did was ______.”

• This makes you appear more human and participating rather than remaining separate.

Sharing experience:


It is often hard for a patient to know how to react to bullying. They may have done nothing to cause it.

Sometimes a patient may be too ashamed and not bring up the subject.

BULLYINGContinued >>>>

You can ask them:

“Are there any bullies in your class or around where you live?”

“Have you eve been bullied?”



1.Do not suggest fighting back as smaller patients are often the victims.

2.Suggest avoidance. Walk away if you can.

3.Tell patient it is wrong. It is not their fault.


4. Teach self-confidence and something to say.

Look the bully in the eye and stay calm:


“I don’t like what you are doing. Why are you doing it?”

“Why are you saying that?”

“Don’t talk to me like that!”


Teach patient how to ask for help.

Let them know it is O.K. to ask for help.

Talk to the school – teacher, counselor, principal.

Encourage patient to get into an activity they might like to meet other patients.



SELF-CONCEPT

This means:

• How we see ourselves

• How we think others see us

• How we would like to be seen by others


SELF-CONCEPTContinued >>>>

It affects:

• The way we act and do things

• How we feel about ourselves



It is gotten and shaped as we go along in our life:

• We pick up messages from others

• People tell us verbally and with behavior



• What they think about us

• How they see us by our actions, attitude and the way we look.



• This affects a patient’s idea of themself.

• It begins with the building of self-worth.


1. Behavior and attitude can be changed by

• Hearing more positive messages• Use positive words that

support and encourage


TOOLS


• Noticing things the patientdoes that please you.

• Focus on patient’s strengths.

• Help patient to see themselves as worthwhile



• Be accepting of the patient, but not always their behavior.


For Example:

“I can accept you are upset (angry, etc), but I do not accept your behavior.”

BE WELL ---

MAKE A GOOD DAY!

IT IS UP TO YOU


REMEMBER…….


Foundation of Wellness™

1200 S. Federal HwySuite #202

Boynton Beach, FL 33435

1200 S. Federal HwySuite #202

Boynton Beach, FL 33435

Phone: 561-523-3626Fax:561-731-5877

[email protected]

Phone: 561-523-3626Fax:561-731-5877

[email protected]

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What does resiliency mean to you? © Copyright 2011—Current All Rights Reserved Foundation of Wellness™