Welcome to the Open Welcome to the Open Sky Webinar Sky Webinar We will be starting at 6pm – see you soon!We will be starting at 6pm – see you soon!

Personal Growth for Personal Growth for Parents Parents Rebecca Wildbear, MS, LPCRebecca Wildbear, MS, LPCClinical TherapistClinical TherapistOpen Sky Wilderness TherapyOpen Sky Wilderness Therapy

AGENDA AGENDA

Crisis as opportunity: your child’s challenges Crisis as opportunity: your child’s challenges as a call to your personal journeyas a call to your personal journey

Identifying your old patterns and stories Identifying your old patterns and stories

Utilizing Bill Plotkin’s Map of the Psyche to Utilizing Bill Plotkin’s Map of the Psyche to engage the resource areas of your psycheengage the resource areas of your psyche

Growth Across the Life Span: Bill Plotkins’ Growth Across the Life Span: Bill Plotkins’ model, the Soul-centric Developmental Wheelmodel, the Soul-centric Developmental Wheel

A CALL DEEPER A CALL DEEPER INWARD INWARD

““THE JOURNEY”THE JOURNEY”

REFLECTIONS:REFLECTIONS:

Which sentence in the poem Which sentence in the poem connects most to your own connects most to your own life? life?

Where in the poem are you Where in the poem are you right now?right now?

What’s the “old tug” and the What’s the “old tug” and the “voices shouting their bad “voices shouting their bad advice” for you?advice” for you?

What is your “new voice” that What is your “new voice” that is stepping forward?is stepping forward?

CAUGHT IN THE OLD CAUGHT IN THE OLD STRUGGLESTRUGGLE

““ONE SOURCE OF BAD ONE SOURCE OF BAD INFORMATION”INFORMATION”

There’s a boy in you about threeYears old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirtyThousand years. Sometimes it’s a girl.

This child has to make up its mindHow to save you from death.He says things like: “Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.”

You live with this child but you don’t know it.You are in the office, yes, but live with this boyAt night. He’s uninformed, but he does want

To save your life. And he has. Because of this boyYou survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas.Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you.

-Robert Bly

BRINGING AWARENESS TO BRINGING AWARENESS TO WHAT IS AUTOMATICWHAT IS AUTOMATIC

What is your default setting in times of challenge?What is your default setting in times of challenge? RescuerRescuer VictimVictim TyrantTyrant Enabler Enabler Co-dependentCo-dependent Critical ParentCritical Parent ConformistConformist RebelRebel

When and how does this pattern arise in your life? When and how does this pattern arise in your life?

THE LOYAL SOLDIERTHE LOYAL SOLDIER

Another name for our default setting – introducing Another name for our default setting – introducing the “loyal soldier”the “loyal soldier”

Motivated by fearMotivated by fear

Keeps us safe in an old story or mode of beingKeeps us safe in an old story or mode of being

Protects you by doing what it always hasProtects you by doing what it always has

Example thoughts:Example thoughts:

-“Nothing is going to change”-“Nothing is going to change”

-“You can’t do that”-“You can’t do that”

EMBRACING YOUR INNER EMBRACING YOUR INNER NURTURING PARENTNURTURING PARENT

““THE GUEST HOUSE”THE GUEST HOUSE”

QUALITIES OF THE INNER QUALITIES OF THE INNER NURTURING PARENTNURTURING PARENT

CompassionateCompassionate

Good listenerGood listener

Allows all feelingsAllows all feelings

Rooted/GroundedRooted/Grounded

Devoted to a larger purposeDevoted to a larger purpose

Generative Generative

-Is there a person in your own childhood who held some of these -Is there a person in your own childhood who held some of these qualities for you?qualities for you?

-How easy or difficult is it for you to feel these qualities in -How easy or difficult is it for you to feel these qualities in yourself?yourself?

PRACTICES TO EMBRACE YOUR PRACTICES TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER NURTURING PARENTINNER NURTURING PARENT

Remember a person in your own life who is or Remember a person in your own life who is or has been particularly nurturinghas been particularly nurturing

Write a love letter to yourself as if you were Write a love letter to yourself as if you were this personthis person

Go for a walk in nature and find a place that Go for a walk in nature and find a place that feels especially nurturing, perhaps a tree or feels especially nurturing, perhaps a tree or large rock. Sit or lay there and let yourself large rock. Sit or lay there and let yourself feel held and loved in your body.feel held and loved in your body.

Map of the Psyche: Map of the Psyche: Journey to WholenessJourney to Wholeness

N

S

Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies

Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel,

prince/princess

Nurturing Parent 

Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self 

EW

EMBRACING YOUR EMBRACING YOUR WOUNDED SELVESWOUNDED SELVES

““GENUINE BROKEN GENUINE BROKEN HEART”HEART”

WOUNDED SELVESWOUNDED SELVES

ConformistConformist

VictimVictim

RebelRebel

Prince/princessPrince/princess

-What do you know about your wounded self?-What do you know about your wounded self?

-Which one of these four tendencies is most -Which one of these four tendencies is most familiar to you?familiar to you?

EMBRACING YOUR WILD EMBRACING YOUR WILD SELFSELF

““MY WILDISH SELF”MY WILDISH SELF”

I want to live in the twilight country of my wildish self,dwell there in the mysterious betweensof dark mountains,in the deep caves scarred with sacred triangles. I want to wander alone, elusive,pulsing like breath or waves of light. In my dreams I go thereto chant with all my voicesdervish spin to natural rhythms, feel whatever truths there arerise and swell under my feet,the vibration of a great beating heart.I want to live in the twilight countryof my wildish self,a deer leaping into moons of light as if summoned, seeking some reasonto fall down closer to the earth.

-Reni Fulton

WHY EMBRACE YOUR WHY EMBRACE YOUR WILD SELF?WILD SELF?

Awakens your alivenessAwakens your aliveness

Revives your passion for lifeRevives your passion for life

Connects you to the natural worldConnects you to the natural world

Helps you discover what you enjoy Helps you discover what you enjoy about livingabout living

Is connected to your heart and Is connected to your heart and authentic selfauthentic self

MAP OF THE PSYCHE: MAP OF THE PSYCHE: PUTTING IT TOGETHERPUTTING IT TOGETHER

N

S

Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies

Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel,

prince/princess

Nurturing Parent 

Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self 

Which aspect of Which aspect of the psyche is the psyche is active in your active in your life?life?

Develop a plan Develop a plan to strengthen to strengthen your inner your inner nurturing parent nurturing parent and wild self and wild self aspects aspects

GROWING THROUGH GROWING THROUGH THE LIFE SPANTHE LIFE SPAN

BILL PLOTKIN’S SOULCENTRIC BILL PLOTKIN’S SOULCENTRIC DEVELOPMENTAL WHEELDEVELOPMENTAL WHEEL

THINGS TO CONSIDERTHINGS TO CONSIDER

Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Nature and the Human Nature and the Human SoulSoul

Which stage are you in now?Which stage are you in now?

What are some unfinished tasks of earlier stages What are some unfinished tasks of earlier stages that you could complete now?that you could complete now?

Look for supportive people, programs, and places Look for supportive people, programs, and places to continue your own personal growth and to continue your own personal growth and developmentdevelopment

Contact information for the Contact information for the presenter:presenter:

Rebecca Wildbear, MA, LPCRebecca Wildbear, MA, LPCwildbear@openskywilderness.comwildbear@openskywilderness.com

(435) 691-3021(435) 691-3021

Please keep this browser window open; when the webinar is Please keep this browser window open; when the webinar is over, it will take you to a survey for today’s session.over, it will take you to a survey for today’s session.

Thank you for Thank you for participating today!participating today!