Weekly English - kidbrookepark.greenwich.sch.uk · Kidbrooke Park Primary School –Home Learning LI: To identify and prioritise events for a complaint. Today’s task 1 is to list

Weekly English

Summer 2

Week 5

29/6/20

Kidbrooke Park Primary School – Home Learning

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Try out the quiz and see how much you know about standard English!

Formal language quiz

https://www.educationquizzes.com/ks2/english/standard-english/


LI: To use formal language to up-level a complaint

Can you match up the informal phrase

with its formal partner?


Chronological order


Date

Conclusion states what you

expect to happen next

Formal language First person

Opening paragraph orients

the reader

(why you are writing)

How could the subjunctive form be used in a complaint?

What are the features of a complaint ?

Opinions

Embellished events (hyperboles)


I am certain that I will have contracted some form

of e-coli on my return to the UK. If I were you I

would avoid this hotel at all costs!

This establishment is unfit for

human habitation, in fact,

those in incarceration would

find the conditions abhorrent!

I cannot emphasise enough

how appalling the facilities

were: blood-stained

headboards (presumably from

a previous guest); impolite

staff; broken window latches

and no hot water resulting in

an inability to get warm;

broken furniture and light

fittings; dirty utensils and,

most horrifically, human

faeces in the kettle!

LI: To use formal language to up-level a complaint.

Look at how parts of this review have been up-levelled from the informal to a more formal tone. What do you notice about the language?



Your task: Can you re-write this complaint review in a more formal tone?

Think about what needs changing at what doesn’t.

Use the words you sorted at the beginning of the lesson and a thesaurus to help you.


Plenary: Pick out your most effective formal phrases.

What impact do they have? What difference do they make to the reader from the

informal review?Which letter do you think would be taken more

seriously and why?

Summer 2

Week 5

30/6/20


LI: To identify and prioritise events for a complaint.

Fliss and her classmates went on a school journey to the Crow’s Nest. From what you have read so far, what kind of Trip advisor review do you think they would write?


LI: To identify and prioritise events for a complaint.Today’s task 1 is to list all things you could complain about if you were staying at The Crow’s Nest. First we need to brainstorm all the things that did or could have gone wrong.You can make some of these up to make your complaint more interesting!

The building was not welcoming, in fact it was foreboding with its ugly iron gates with a hideous metal bird on the top.

The beds were lumpy and uncomfortable and the sheets smelled of stale sweat.


On arrival: Unwelcoming? Long wait? Rude staff? Erie-looking? Dark? Dingy? Once inside: No one there to greet you? No drinks offered? Long wait? Not enough rooms/beds? Filthy floor/surfaces?Receptionist’s initial attitude: Were they rude? Double-booked? Had a cold and sneezed/coughed all everyone? Could they answer queries about dietary requirements (no dairy/allergies/gluten/vegan)?Rooms: Small/pokey? Uncomfortable? Not been cleaned? Stained sheets?Meals: Brought the wrong order? Raw/under-cooked? Insect/hair in food? Took a long time to be served? Too salty? Frozen in the centre? Food poisoning? (You could say Ellie-May was suspected of having this?Price and general experience: Extortionate (very expensive)? Charged for people who didn’t come? No first aid or help for sick child?

LI: To identify and prioritise events for a complaint.

For task 2, you will need to bullet point all the things you want to complain about in chronological order so you are ready to write :


Plenary:Make a quick word bank of 10 adjectives you

want to use to describe some of the things you experienced during your stay.

Summer 2

Week 5

31/6/20


LI: To Write the introduction to a review of an unpleasant experience.

When would we need to write a negative review or letter?

Why would we use it? What is it’s purpose?

A review:

•focuses on strengths and weaknesses

•uses evidence to support ideas

•draws a conclusion, saying whether something will be

useful for, or interesting to, its audience and purpose

•gives personal opinion with confidence and authority



• In the introduction, state clearly the reason

why we are writing.

• In chronological order, give the reasons why

we are complaining

• Support each reason by providing evidence.

• Explain what your opinion was or how you felt.

Why is it important to use this structure?

How does it help the reader?

What is the structure of a negative review?



•Use Standard English and mainly formal language engage the reader by using

'you' or asking questions.

•Use a generally straightforward vocabulary with some specialist words (jargon).

•Give your view immediately, directly and passionately.

•Use writing techniques such as alliteration to add emphasis.

•Refer to other major works by the writer, producer or director to sound

knowledgeable as well as help the reader.

•Use writing techniques such as figurative language (e.g. metaphors, similes,

personification and hyperbole or exaggeration; these help engage the reader

by creating imagery that emphasises your opinion.

Recipe for a review.


Task 1: Create a vocabulary bank ready to write. Use a thesaurus (there are plenty online) to help you. I have given you some to start your lists. Add at least 3 more to each.

Adverbial openersUsually

UnfortunatelyAppallingly

Subordinate conjunctive openersSince

DuringAlthough

Powerful verbsIgnoredPlonkedThrust

Conjunctions to join sentences; however

furthermorealso

;therefore

AdjectivesExcruciatingInsufferable

TediousUnpleasant

Prepositional openersOn arrival

AboveUp ahead




Task 2:You are going to write the introduction of your review. Remember, you are complaining about The Crow’s Nest. Your introduction should orient the reader:• Who you are• When you stayed• Where you stayed• Why you were visiting• Why you are writing

Please use the model on the next page to support your writing.



• Who you are• When you stayed• Where you stayed• Why you were visiting• Why you are writing

Model (Do Not Copy!):

Miss Furious - June 2020

A group of Year 6 children from the school where I teach (St Mary’s Primary) and I have just returned from a residential trip, where we stayed at The Crow’s Nest Hotel, Whitby. During the week beginning 1st June, we resided in the ‘larger’ accommodation reserved for school groups as we had activities booked at many of the attractions in nearby Whitby Town and the location of The Bird’s Nest was the most suitable within our price-range. Unfortunately, I feel it is imperative that other schools be made aware that this is the worst hotel I have ever had the misfortune to stay at and it is wholly unsuitable for large groups of children.



Plenary:Go back to your writing and underline where

you have included these:• Who you are

• When you stayed• Where you stayed

• Why you were visiting• Why you are writing

Tick them off as you find themNow include any you have missed.

Summer 2

Week 5

1/7/20


LI: To Write a review of an unpleasant experience.


Model : DO NOT COPY!

The accommodation was really poor and

dirty; on the first day they had a room

inspection and were reprimanded for the

ensuite bathroom being dirty. This was how

the girls found the accommodation on

arrival!

all relevant information including

(after initially promising to look into it and

come back to us) has continually ignored

insufficient space

feel we were misled

very poor/ non existent


On arrival, our group were informed that there would be a slight delay in being


Model :

Model :


Summer 2

Week 5

2/7/20


LI: To evaluate my writing: proof reading, editing and making improvements where necessary.

First, begin your editing by checking the basics:

•I have started every sentence with a capital letter.•I have ended sentences with a full stop, or an exclamation mark.•I have ended rhetorical questions with a question mark.•I have used commas to separate clauses so the reader can take a breath.•I have used brackets or dashes to add extra information.•I have used a wide range of openers – some adverbs and some conjunctions.•I have used different sentence types – some longer ones for description•I have checked any spelling I wasn’t sure of and corrected it.



Remember this?

Now go through your review.

• Are there any words you feel are not formal enough?

• Can you find a more formal way of saying them?

• Have you used too many formal words?• Does it make sense?

A balance of the right formal vocabulary will give you the correct voice – too much formal vocabulary makes writing hard to understand!



Now check through your writing and tick off where you have used any of the following:

Are there any you missed? Can you find a way to include them that would help to improve your writing?Are there any words from your vocabulary list you could use to up-level some of your vocabulary choices?

• Rhetorical questions

• Emotive language: adverbs of degree (extremely/completely);

feelings (horrified/disgusted)

• Technical vocabulary (jargon like

accommodation/residential/establishment

• Alliteration

• Figurative language: metaphors, similes, personification and

hyperbole (exaggeration)



Plenary:Would your review persuade people not

to book a stay at The Crow’s Nest?List 3 reasons why you know this.

Documents

Weekly English - kidbrookepark.greenwich.sch.uk · Kidbrooke Park Primary School –Home Learning LI: To identify and prioritise events for a complaint. Today’s task 1 is to list