Week Three: Gossip. Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he

Week Three: Gossip

Proverbs 35 Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord and shun evil.8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

Proverbs 9:10“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of

wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is

understanding.”

Is it Gossip if everyone is already talking about it?

What side of that story did you immediately relate to? Michelle’s or Amy’s? Why?

What side of that story did you immediately relate to? Michelle’s or Amy’s? Why?

Some people have as their motto: “If you can’t say anything good about a person, let’s hear

it.”—American Legion Magazine

Gossip: it’s worse than you think

Our topic today is not a major theme in Proverbs, but it is mentioned in the book of Proverbs more than

anywhere else in the Bible, and it is a temptation that is extremely common.

The word gossip is used six times in the NIV translation of Proverbs, and four times in the New Testament.

Often gossip is listed or associated with slander, as in these two examples:

28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a

depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil,

greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-

haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; (Romans 1,NIV)

Often gossip is listed or associated with slander, as in these two examples:

20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear

that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip,

arrogance and disorder. (2 Corinthians 12, NIV)

The dictionary definitions of slander and gossip are not the same. Slander is, at least legally, much

worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both?Gossip is negative news about someone else,

usually someone we don’t like, and there is often a hurtful intent behind spreading it. So while the

gossip may be true, it can easily magnify or evolve into something untrue and malicious (i.e. slander).


worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both?Gossip is negative news about someone else,

usually someone we don’t like, and there is often a hurtful intent behind spreading it. So while the

gossip may be true, it can easily magnify or evolve into something untrue and malicious (i.e. slander).


worse. So why does the Bible list the two together and associate the same problems to both?

Just like Jesus equated looking lustfully with adultery, or hate with murder, gossip is the seed

which can easily sprout into slander, so gossip is just as dangerous and wrong as its cousin slander.

There is an entire gossip industry that even many Christians enjoy

without any guilt. Entertainment/celebrity gossip – who is in rehab, who is divorcing,

and what they were wearing while doing all this – is probably

America’s true national pastime, and it sure doesn’t seem evil.

Silly or ridiculous, maybe, but not sinful--The entertainment fluff shows on tv that talk

about celebrity romances. There are “gossip” columns in many magazines and newspapers. Is this sort of gossip okay? If so, what makes it different from the “bad” gossip we just read

about?

Let’s define exactly what we are addressing when we talk about the gossip mentioned in

the Bible.

Let’s read a few scriptures about gossip.

Proverbs 16:28 (NIV)

A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.


Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.


A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

So, based on those proverbs, what are some of the traits or results of gossip that makes it a true

sin? Why is it so bad?It is malicious.

It is contentious.It is personal.

Because truly sinful gossip is malicious, divisive, and personal – it really hurts. Gossip by definition

is almost always negative. If you are sharing something positive about another person, why would you keep it from that person? Positive

comments are brought out into the light and given openly and without hesitation. It is the negative

that is smuggled in with whispers and hidden from certain people.

The first danger of gossip: it easily gets out of our control

There are some unique qualities about sins involved with our tongue or words that make

them especially damaging.


When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

James 3 (NIV)5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the

body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on

fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.













The second danger of gossip: it lasts and lasts

Think of one of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to you. Think of a time when you

were the target of a criticism or rumor. Does it still hurt to recall that memory? Is it easier

to recall criticisms or compliments?

Compare these three translations of two related verses:

Proverbs 26:22 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of

the belly. (KJV)Proverbs 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice

morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts. (NIV)Proverbs 18:8 says, "What dainty morsels rumors

are--but they sink deep into one's heart." (NLT)

All three translations, despite their differences, share the same basic truth about gossip.

If we are the subject of gossip, it wounds us, and it wounds us deeply. If we are hearing gossip about someone else, we retain it deeply. Once a thought has been planted in our mind through gossip, it takes deep root, and is very hard to remove. Even if it is hard to believe, gossip makes us wonder if there is some truth to it. What we hear in private, what is said in hushed tones or

behind closed doors, that is what sticks with us. That is why we have this modern proverb: “Some people will believe anything if

it is whispered to them.”

How to keep ourselves from gossip

Do you have some sort of filter, or test, or method by which you keep yourself from

crossing the line into gossip? How can you tell if what you are saying is acceptable and

necessary, or just gossip? Let’s apply a few verses to this.

Proverbs 16:2 (NIV):“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but

motives are weighed by the LORD.” What are your true motives in sharing this

information? Is it just to be “in the know” and popular, is it to gain power over someone, or tear another down, or is it because you really

care for them?

Proverbs 16:2 (NIV):“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but

motives are weighed by the LORD.” What are your true motives in sharing this

information? Is it just to be “in the know” and popular, is it to gain power over someone, or tear another down, or is it because you really

care for them?

Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

Is repeating a story going to accomplish anything positive, or just prolong the hurt?

Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”


Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but

whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”


Proverbs 17:9 (NIV): “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but

whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”


Roddy Chestnut suggests this acrostic as a way to

monitor our conversations and intents so we don’t

gossip:

Use REAL discernment

Gossip comes disguised as discernment

Use REAL discernment

Gossip comes disguised as discernment

Proverbs 27:20Without wood a fire goes out;

without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (NIV)For lack of wood the fire goes out,

and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. (ESV)

Matthew 18:15

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.

Let GOD be your lightning rod.

Let GOD be your lightning rod.

PRAY.Read Psalms--

“I want my enemies to die!” (6,7,9,10)

Do this until you can go and talk to them, not to defeat them,

but to win them.

Proverbs 35 Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord and shun evil.8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

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Week Three: Gossip. Proverbs 3 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he