Base Metal…

The Monthly Newsletter from

Alchemy of Coaching

The 2013 and 2104 edition

IntroductionWe write Base Metal every month with the intent that it stimulates, challenges, encourages and may even provoke coaches into thinking about and reflecting on their coaching. We write in a largely questioning mode that aims to encourage thinking and reflection.

We are passionate about the importance of coaches continually reflecting on what they do and how they do it, and even more about how they are being when acting as coaches.

Each month we write a short article about a topic we believe is of interest and ally it with an accompanying book review that is relevant or connected to the article.

In this e-book we have compiled all the articles and book reviews from the first twenty four months of Base Metal and we plan to repeat this every two years.

We hope that you find Base Metal useful and ask you to pass this bi-annual review on to anyone that you believe may be interested. Please also ask them to let us know if they would like to receive the monthly version of Base Metal.

The Alchemy team Ian, Ray, David, Melanie and Trevor

March 2015

Contents

2013

January Being present as a coach – bringing your whole person to the coaching relationship

“Neuropsychology for Coaches – Understanding the basics”Paul Brown and Virginia Brown, McGraw Hill Open University Press, 2012

February Choice and Behaviour: what underlies this?

“Presence-Based Coaching – Cultivating Self-Generative Leaders through Mind, Body, and Heart”Doug Silsbee, Foreword by Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Jossey-Bass, 2008

March How a coach can support their client?

“Theory U: Leading from the Future as It Emerges – the Social Technology of Presencing”C. Otto Scharmer, Foreword by Peter Senge, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2009

April Finding one’s source of energy for change

Deep Change – Discovering the Leader Within”Robert E. Quinn, Jossey-Bass – a Wiley Imprint, 1996

May Psychodynamic theory: relevance to coaching?

Pause for Breath - bringing the practices of mindfulness and dialogue to leadership conversations”Amanda Ridings, Live It Publishing, 2011

June “What do we do when you notice we don’t know what to do?”

“Systemic Coaching and Constellations – an introduction to the principles, practices and application” John Whittington, Kogan Page, 2012 Foreword by David Clutterbuck

July Act or be acted on

“The New Leadership Paradigm – leading self, leading others, leading an organisation, leading in society”Richard Barrett, ISBN 978-1-4457-1672-5, 2010

August Beyond Freud – transpersonal psychology’s application to coaching

“The Talent Code – greatness isn’t born, it’s grown” Daniel Coyle, Random House, 2009“Mastery – the keys to success and long-term fulfilment” George Leonard, Plume Penguin, 1992

September What is coaching and how do you define coaching?

“Relational Coaching – Journeys Towards Mastering One-To-One Coaching”Erik de Haan, Translation by Sue Stewart, John Wiley and Sons, Ltd, 2008

October What are the values and needs which underpin your coaching?

“Mojo – How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back if You Lose It”

Marshall Goldsmith, with Mark Reiter, Profile Books, 2010

November How can we and should we bring the whole of ourselves to the coaching relationship?

“Developmental Coaching: Working with the Self”Tatiana Bachkirova, McGraw Hill Open University Press, 2011

December “From transactional to transformational coaching”

The art of learning, an inner journey to optimal performanceJosh Waitzkin, Free Press, 2007

2014January It’s this time of year

The Three Levels of Leadership – How to Develop Your Leadership Presence, Knowhow and Skill, James Scouller, Management Books 2000 Limited, 2011

February Awareness – a central component of great coaching

Full Spectrum Supervision: “who you are, is how you supervise” Edited by Edna Murdoch and Jackie Arnold, Panoma Press, 2013

March Success – Be, Do and Have

“Source – The Inner Path of Knowledge Creation” Joseph Jaworski. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 201

April Letting Go!

“Emotional Intelligence Coaching – Improving performance for leaders, coaches and the individual”Stephen Neale, Lisa Spencer-Arnell and Liz Wilson, Kogan Page, 2009

May Boundaries? Who needs them?

“Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others”James Flaherty, Butterworth Heinemann, 1999

June What’s different about co-creative and transformational coaching?

“The HeartMath Solution” Doc Childre and Howard Martin with Donna Beech, HarperOne, 2000

July Difference and differences – common to all coaching situations

“Diversity in Coaching – Working with Gender, Culture, Race and Age”, edited by Jonathan Passmore, Kogan Page, Second edition, 2013

August Self-responsibility and coaching – metaphors for active grounding

“Metaphors We Live By”, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, University of Chicago Press, 2003“Metaphors In Mind – Transformation Through Symbolic Modelling”, James Lawley and Penny Tompkins, The Developing Company Press, 2000

September Presence as a coach

“Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart” Mary Beth O’Neill. Jossey-Bass, 2000

October Reflective dialogue and its value while coaching

“Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together”William Isaacs, Introduction by Peter Senge, Currency Doubleday, 1999

November The relationship is everything!

“The People You Are - the New Science of Personality” Rita Carter, Abacus, 2014

December “Conflict… useful or not?”

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team - a Leadership FablePatrick Lencioni, Jossey-Bass, 2002

January 2013

Being present as a coach – bringing your whole person to the coaching relationship

We (the Alchemy team) believe that bringing the whole person (coach) to the coaching relationship, and being completely present throughout each session, enhances the value that the coach can bring. In this short article we want to outline what we mean by whole person and being present and then suggest some reasons why this is not always achieved. Let us begin with simple definitions.

By whole person we mean everything about the coach: life experience, skills, style, personality and complete set of capabilities. By being present we mean remaining completely focused throughout the coaching on the client and their situation, attending to our own thoughts and responses judiciously, to inform us about some aspect of the client’s process.

Bringing the whole person to the coaching relationship means being very aware of our skills, personality and experience together with how these might manifest themselves with particular clients at particular times. This involves raising our levels of conscious understanding about what is going on at any moment during the coaching session, so that we can make clear judgements about what, when, how and if we should approach certain aspects. It is like running an internal review whilst we are actually with the client. This is very demanding and challenging. For the inexperienced coach, keeping models and processes in mind is often hard enough already.

Sometimes, coaches avoid bringing their whole person to the coaching relationship based on the notion that coaches should ‘keep themselves out of the way’. We want to propose that being prepared to bring in more of oneself, at the right time and in the right way, can be enormously helpful to the relationship. It enables me as a coach to access all of my experience and capabilities rather than just my coaching skills and experiences. Many coaches find it difficult to bring their whole person to the relationship through fear of doing the wrong thing with or for the client. We want to encourage you to build confidence in your ability to use your self-awareness, so that you can bring in ideas, experiences, even use big differences in personality, to positive effect. This takes practice and effort. It also requires us to gather feedback from our clients to check that it is working effectively.

Being present is generally accepted as a core skill for coaches. In most coach training there is active encouragement and skill development in active listening, using the client’s words and language as much as possible and building rapport and connection with clients. And we suspect that most coaches know that we lose focus, drift off, or lose rapport with our clients on occasions. Staying fully present is hard work. How can we do better? Is it just a matter of practice? We believe that it is more than practice. It requires us to develop ‘whole person’ awareness - that continually running inner review. It requires mental energy but, with practice, not enough to get in the way of remaining fully present.

So, we want to finish with three questions:

1. How can we continually bring more of ourselves, appropriately, to the service of our clients?

2. How can we utilise big differences between coach and client for the benefit of our clients?

3. How can we get our unconscious capabilities into the relationship more effectively and to better effect?

We know that this is easier said than done and worth the effort to develop these skills and intentions.

Book review

“Neuropsychology for Coaches – Understanding the basics”

Paul Brown and Virginia Brown, McGraw Hill Open University Press, 2012, Coaching in Practice Series

How the brain works is a rapidly expanding and deepening area of research of great relevance for coaches. The Association for Coaching chose for its Ten Year Anniversary Conference in June 2012 the theme “From Inner Game to Neuroscience”. Professor Paul Brown, a consulting clinical and organisational psychologist, delivered a keynote presentation, and led a workshop entitled “Starting with the brain: an Introduction to Neurobehavioural Modelling in Executive Coaching”. He and Virginia Brown (no relation), a practising executive coach, have produced an accessible book which sets out to explain current understanding of basic brain functioning and how this can inform and enable effective coaching.

The premise that feelings underlie decision-making provides the authors with a powerful focus for coaching: helping clients to establish intelligent emotions as the basis for their decision systems. I was particularly engaged by this idea, not of “emotional intelligence”, rather of “intelligent emotions”. Chapters include “Wondering: the basis for knowing and change”, “Behavioural change that sticks” and “Relationships that affect change and development”. Emphasis on facts about brain function is combined with recognition of individual difference and attention to coaching the whole person. Each chapter is concluded with a short, clear summary; there is a useful glossary, and a rich bibliography. I found the book stimulating, informative and challenging.

February 2013

Choice and Behaviour: what underlies this?

How much choice do we have as individuals when it comes to changing our behaviour? Do we believe in determinism or self-determination? As coaches, our thoughts about this are likely to influence our attitude towards our clients and the expectations we have of them.

There are vast numbers of philosophies and models of human behaviour and its origins, and theories about the degree to which we are shaped by our past, or free to be the architects of our present and future.

Cognitive behavioural approaches are increasingly finding their way into coaching. People sometimes mistakenly think that the cognitive behavioural model is mechanistic or even manipulative. In reality, when practised properly, this is far from the case. Collaboration is the essence of both CBT and CBC. The client is a co-explorer, working alongside the coach to understand the connections between four key domains: cognition (thinking), emotions, physiological states and behaviour.

Although the interaction between these four domains is central to CBC, attention is also paid to life experience and the impact this has had on our thoughts and beliefs, and the assumptions we make about ourselves, others and the world around us. These will in turn influence our feelings, behaviour and even our physical selves. In the CB model, past experience is seen as relevant inasmuch as it sets the tone and direction of our thoughts and feelings. However, the process of deconstructing the system gives us insight, so that new choices can be made.

Clearly, this is not always as easy as it sounds. We humans often tend towards the familiar in terms of our responses in all four domains. The extent to which we have internalised the views, voices and expectations of those around throughout our lives will determine a lot about the way we think, feel and behave. However, gaining an understanding of our own patterns, how they might have originated, and how and why we maintain them, can enable us not only to make more informed choices but also to be more compassionate towards ourselves and others.

Book review

“Presence-Based Coaching – Cultivating Self-Generative Leaders through Mind, Body, and Heart”

Doug Silsbee, Foreword by Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Jossey-Bass, 2008

Doug Silsbee has studied with James Flaherty, is accredited by the ICF, and is the author of “The Mindful Coach” (2004).

“Presence-Based Coaching” reflects the author’s involvement in coaching, facilitation, leadership development, O.D. and experiential learning. This is not an introductory book for coaches; it assumes previous coaching experience and “a healthy appetite for your own learning and growth”. The book seeks to balance and integrate two core threads: presence as an essential ingredient of life-long personal development; and how presence can evoke change in others in the context of developing leaders – and be an essential quality both of leading and of living.

There are four parts to the book, exploring and linking: the nature of presence; the coaching context; generative practices; and relational moves. Each chapter is prefaced by one or more evocative quotations and concluded with a summary. There are many exercises and practices to assist the reader’s learning. The somatic nature of development - that “every action originates in the body” - is a core premise. For

coaches whose practice is characterised by a cerebral approach and an awakening emotional reach, their application of Doug Silsbee’s insights will be of particular value. He stimulates resonances with the writing of Erich Fromm, Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, and Wendy Palmer. “Presence-Based Coaching” is a book punctuated by the “Presence Pause” – a frequent invitation to reflective silence which has value in reading and digesting the text and equally in the practice of coaching and facilitation. This book is deeply about being.

March 2013

How a coach can support their client?

How can the coach support a client in their journey to transform their capability for leadership? Is there an optimum way? To transform ones’ ability is to succeed at something important and strongly desired that appears at the beginning to be out of reach.

There are few things more engaging, more challenging than the archetypal journey of heart, mind and spirit to fulfil potential, a journey at once unique and universal in its intensity.

From the start, the coach has to live willingly with the unfathomable and mostly unseen complexity of both him- or herself, and that of the client. In accepting that we can never know ourselves fully, the coach can allow ‘not-knowing’: a state of stillness which allows powerful curiosity and delight in discovery – a state of being that is most helpful for the client.

A colleague recently reached a turning point in his closest relationships; a turning point towards happiness. At the level of everyday observation - from my standpoint, if you like - it was simply a matter of choice. At a moment in time he consciously enacted a different pattern of behaviour from his usual one. And he felt elated and happy. Big deal?

Yes, for him it was a very big deal indeed. For the very first time in his life – a life full of creative brilliance, wise and compassionate humanity and exceptional achievement - he had overturned a coercive pattern of behaviour that for years beyond memory had crushed him and those near to him with hurt and negative feelings. Yet - in a moment of insight and active choice - he had transformed this emotional burden from dark subjugation to bright leadership… As he said, it was a victory!

At the core of this lies a simple, yet often profoundly challenging, shift - or series of shifts, perhaps - in the perspective and preoccupations of emotional awareness. When leading anything, the inner focus of awareness and curiosity moves beyond the customarily personal (safeguarding of self) towards exploring potential in the self and in others for something new and transformative. A quest through emotionally and practically perceived limitations.

The coach can offer primarily a context, a safe space of trustful and hopeful not-knowing, in which the client can focus upon and follow their own particular quest of self-revelation, intuitive discovery and experiment. Into this the coach can also introduce, collaboratively, questions, processes and tools that the client can choose to learn with. However, the coach has to suspend their urge to help and to guide, for that invades the ‘sacred’ space of trust and openness so necessary for the client’s personal quest.

Living entails, among many things, creating and embedding patterns – physical, conceptual, emotional, social, etc., etc. that work repetitively to keep us safe and resourceful, reducing demands upon awareness. Conscious awareness is special and consumes energy. With attention, insight and desire, patterns of learning and behaviour can rise to awareness, become adapted and transformed, to become ‘second nature’ when learnt and practiced.

Successful humans are good patternmakers. To lead is, in part, to lay down creative and fruitful patterns in self and in the field of endeavour, that enable people and organisations to engage in patterns of productive enterprise.

A vital part of the transformative process can be to recognise and accept the reality of patterns that no longer serve. This opens opportunities for change which may otherwise remain closed. By accepting completely the current reality of the client, the coach helps to open a non-judgemental space in which the client can fully awaken their own curiosity for self-awareness.

With awareness and curiosity comes the desire to question and experiment, to try on new things, and with this the adventurous process of transformation begins.

Book review

“Theory U: Leading from the Future as It Emerges – the Social Technology of Presencing”

C. Otto Scharmer, Foreword by Peter Senge, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2009

C. Otto Scharmer is co-author of “Presence – exploring Profound Change in People, Organizations and Society”, 2005.

Addressing authenticity and personal presence in the context of global challenges and societal crisis, Scharmer argues for a shift away from conventional institutional behaviour towards individual and collective transformational change. He proposes a social technology - Theory U - for leaders in all areas. His message is a call to engage in co-creating “the future which is waiting to emerge”. This will require of us a different awareness: recognition of how we are blind to the social field from which our attention and interactions emanate, perpetuating reactions which no longer serve. Breaking from the patterns of the past will demand that we discover fresh qualities of awareness, thinking, relating and acting, to enable new connections and possibilities. Whether we have reflected on or habitually reacted to past experiences these behaviours will not be sufficient: we need a deeper process of personal and organisational transformation and creative collaboration.

The book is substantial. Personal stories and cases support diagnosis and development of his methodology. Presencing is defined and described as a means to lead profound innovation and change. With the aid of diagrams, stages in the process of Theory U are explained. The importance of listening, curiosity and inquiry is emphasised, together with seeing, thinking, languaging, structuring, and sensing and acting from the whole. Unlike some forecasting or scenario planning approaches, Theory U is co-operative and co-creative: feeling the emerging future and prototyping - “failing early to learn quickly”.

Coaches working on their own transformation and that of the organisations with which they live and work will find much in this book to stimulate and stretch their thinking and practice.

April 2013

Finding one’s source of energy for change

This short piece seeks to stimulate your own reflection about your intrinsic sources of energy, and how they may interact in a coaching context, mostly by connecting together some well known ideas.

Where might we - as coaches and/or coachees - look for our energy for change; and for the forces that might diminish our energy for change? There are three obvious places to look – our personality, our motivations and our limiting beliefs.

Let’s begin by looking at our personality. If we use MBTI as a frame of reference (and I am not advocating MBTI, in any way), the Extravert-Introvert polarity indicates that our energy comes either from within (Introverted Type) or from external stimulation (Extraverted Type). What might this lead us to conclude about our energy for change? I would suggest that Introverts (continuing to use MBTI definitions) are likely to get their energy for change from internal sources which might lead them to want time to reflect and consider change, to take their time and possibly to appear indecisive in the moment whilst they consider things. The Extravert is likely to need external stimulation to get their energy for change going and might appear to want to get into action too quickly. If the introvert were the coach, rather than the coachee, and they tended towards aligning with their sources of energy they might be encouraging too much reflection and thinking. If extrovert by nature they might be encouraging the coachee into action inappropriately. If both coach and coachee are aware of their differences, creative opportunities gain more freedom in the coaching conversation.

Now let’s look at our energy for change through the lens of our motivations – what matters to us, what gets us going? I want to offer three primary motivations that might influence how we coach.

a) I seek to understand before I begin to change,

b) I want to get on with the change and take things as they come,

c) I want to plan things before I begin.

I intend merely to use these three as starting points for considering where my energy for change might come from and the actions that this might lead to. Taking this suggestion then, a coach whose own motivation for change is based on understanding first might become misaligned with a coachee who has a different motivation. And how difficult is it for us to suspend or work against our natural motivation? What experiences have we had as coaches that highlight these kinds of differences. Are any of these starting points, understanding, action or planning better or worse, easier or more difficult, more or less challenging for us as coaches?

The final lens concerns limiting beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs, whatever they might be, can have a profound impact on our energy for change, the more so if allowed to lie hidden or unexamined. If, for example using the motivation ideas just outlined, I believe that I have to understand something before I can begin change this will impact on my energy for change by causing me to focus on getting clear understanding before taking any action. By definition limiting beliefs will influence, possibly significantly, our energy for change. Coaches need to discover and question the nature of their belief systems in relation to the challenges they and their coachees are facing.

In this article I have aimed to raise questions, to get us thinking about where our energy for change comes from, what might impact on it and what might lead us to apply it in certain ways. With this information we can begin to consider how this impacts our coaching and whether we need to develop

greater awareness, more skills – depth and breadth, additional knowledge or just align more specifically with our clients. And what challenges do these ideas leave us with?

Book review

Deep Change – Discovering the Leader Within”

Robert E. Quinn, Jossey-Bass – a Wiley Imprint, 1996

Quinn examines the competing roles of the leader and the differences between transactional and transformational change. Making the case for transformational change, he asserts repeatedly throughout “Deep Change” that we can change our organisations only by changing ourselves. Citing Dee Hock and Bill Torbert, he addresses the development of leaders in the context of uncertainty and emergence – prescient of the work of Otto Scharmer and Joseph Jaworski. He provokes his readers to forget what we know – to discard inaccurate assumptions and discover what we need. The process will be uncomfortable and painful: as “a hallmark of mastery” we must “know how to get lost with confidence”. This is a process of learning, requiring courage, integrity, support, challenge and action. This is difficult, particularly as there is commonly “an incongruity between vision and behaviour”. Developing and realising a shared and meaningful vision requires us to confront lack of integrity in ourselves and in the system. Will we lead by example with openness, resilience and discipline? Change need not be top down: one person can make a difference (he recounts a moving example quoted by Robert Greenleaf). We cannot be empowered by others, we empower ourselves. There is risk and loneliness. Immense effort is required. “Do I care enough to do that myself?”

The book provides examples from the author’s experience, and reflective exercises at the end of each chapter.

May 2013

Psychodynamic theory: relevant to coaching?

When anyone mentions psychodynamic theory, we probably think immediately of Sigmund Freud. Although others have taken his work forward in different directions, his ideas still dominate the field.

Concepts used in psychodynamic therapy may be familiar: transference, counter-transference, projection, displacement, regression, and so on. However, we may be doubtful as to how relevant these are when we are working with coaching clients.

This short article can barely touch on psychodynamic theory. However, a brief look at some of the ways in which the workings of the unconscious (our clients’ or our own) can impact the coaching process might be useful.

One of the key concepts in psychodynamic theory is the impact of conflict between our conscious and unconscious processes. In very simple terms, Freud described our unconscious mind as consisting of the 'super-ego' (the reservoir of unspoken rules and values we have internalised from parents, teachers, religious leaders and society in general) and the 'id' (our instinctive impulses and desires and drives - often antisocial!). The 'ego', which is both conscious and unconscious, acts as an arbiter between the conflicting needs and impulses of the super-ego and the id in a constant attempt to ward off anxiety and emotional or psychic discomfort and distress.

Some of these strategies are more effective than others. At times, conflicting emotions are hard to bear and our defences kick in, often deluding ourselves and others regarding our true feelings or motivation. This is a potentially destructive and unhealthy state of affairs. An understanding of some of these defensive processes can help us develop greater self-awareness and authenticity and improve relationships with others. Having a sense of how clients use these strategies can guide us towards asking questions that might raise awareness.

Let us look at some imaginary examples.

A client who reports difficulties with her manager insists that he is angry and critical. She comes across as passive but she often misses work deadlines, attributing this to intimidation by her manager. Apparently, her last manager was just as bad. Various clues lead you to suspect that she is angry with her manager for trying to develop her: she suffers from an acute lack of confidence but can't face her own perceived inadequacy, so projects the anger onto her manager and behaves passive-aggressively by missing deadlines.

At times you notice she reacts defensively to your questions, interpreting them as critical. This may be an example of transference: for her, in that moment, you are her manager, and she experiences the same flush of rage and impotence that she does with him (just as she may have transferred feelings from past relationships onto her manager in the first place).

On other occasions, you are aware of feeling angry with her yourself, which surprises you because she hasn't said anything to make you feel quite this strongly. This might well be an example of projective identification, a state in which one person actually feels the emotions (fear, anger, sadness) the other is avoiding because they are too painful. These are powerful clues about our clients but, as coaches, we need high levels of self-awareness, in order to distinguish between our clients’ feelings and our own.

Equally important is learning to spot counter-transference - feelings you have towards your client which really are your own, perhaps triggered by some similarity between the client or situation and someone or something familiar to you.

Displacement is another common defence mechanism. A client might seem excessively anxious about a situation at work; it subsequently emerges that his sister has been diagnosed with cancer. He is shocked and frightened, but is avoiding his feelings, displacing his distress onto the work situation. He rationalises his anxiety by saying that there is nothing he can do about his sister's situation, so he is focusing on his work to keep his mind off it.

These are simple illustrations of just a few unconscious defence mechanisms; psychodynamic theory provides a rich resource for greater understanding of our complex inner worlds and the dynamics affecting relationships with others and with us as coaches. A caveat: psychodynamically trained therapists spend years exploring their own inner conflicts before working with others. This article is just a tiny taster and, hopefully, a pointer towards further learning.

Book review

“Pause for Breath - bringing the practices of mindfulness and dialogue to leadership conversations”

Amanda Ridings, Live It Publishing, 2011 Nautilus Book Awards Business and Leadership Silver Award, 2012

In an increasingly hectic world of information overload, turbulence and uncertainty many people crave breathing space. Amanda Ridings is a coach and coaching supervisor who facilitates dialogue groups and workshops to allow a “Pause for Breath”. Now the wisdom and ways of being which shape those developmental events are distilled in this book to provide essential reading for leaders and coaches.

“Pause for Breath” is more than a guide to effective leadership conversations – it offers examples, insights and exercises for a centred and healthy life. Amanda Ridings draws on her experience and her practice to share the means to become more present, grounded and congruent. She shows through honest practical instances how enhanced awareness of self and other allows possibility, beyond habitual reactions, for a different quality of attention, presence and relationship.

If change occurs in the conversation, I can begin by noticing my internal conversations. When I am mindful I have the space to make choices, including how I engage with others. And when I have conscious connection with mind, body and spirit I can be more focused, resilient and assertive. “Pause for Breath” is a handbook to help me to be so. It is constructed in six parts: preparation and beginning; mind and conversation; body and conversation; spirit and conversation; versatility in conversations; towards dialogue. Each chapter includes a specific practice and space for notes and reflection.

I echo the appreciation of other reviewers: this is a very special book.

June 2013

“What do we do when you notice we don’t know what to do?”

There are inevitably going to be times when we discover that we don’t know what to do when coaching. How quickly do we notice that we don’t’ know what to do and what do we then do?

In a recent evening session Ray and Ian explored this topic with a group of coaches using a series of steps in the form of pairs and group exercises.

Firstly we asked them to reflect on:

1. “When and what did you notice that you did not know what to do?”

2. “What did you do then?”

and consider: “what are the signals that you have noticed about ‘not knowing’ and what sort of awareness did you have and might you need?”

At this stage participants began to realise that individual issues and concerns were shared quite widely within the group. We then asked:

1. “What have you learned that you could do, next time you notice you don’t know what to do?”

2. “What might hinder you doing this?”

3. “What resources might you need to enable you to do this successfully?”

We ended the evening by encouraging participants to explore:

1. “What might be good about not knowing…?”

We believe that by following these questions yourself you can identify your own behavioural patterns, raise your awareness and develop new or different responses.

Here are some of the many ideas that were shared, grouped under circumstances (when I don’t know what to do); the signals that indicate or precede my not knowing; and some tips.

Two consistent insights were. Not knowing (what to do...) is OK and have confidence in the silence.

See over for table…

Circumstances Signals Tips

Arriving in a panic, e.g. bad traffic A tenseness down one side of my neck Be prepared so that I avoid not knowing when you can

Badly prepared ‘Hairs on the back of my neck stand up’ Manage my own state of resourcefulness and attention

Pre-occupied Lose concentration Research cultural differences

Distracted Can’t follow what the coachee is saying Choose my clients appropriately

Big differences in style I keep drifting off to other thought(s) Take difficult situations to supervision

Big differences in expectations Feeling hot – adrenalin rush Be aware of my own limitations

Unexplained change in circumstances

My client appears to have lost concentration

Be able to accept silence

Surprised by unexpected situation Feeling anxious Ask the client what is going on

Struggling to understand cultural implications

Feeling bored Check for understanding

Emotional Unable to remember what the client has said

Be willing to take a time out

Book review

“Systemic Coaching and Constellations – an introduction to the principles, practices and application”

John Whittington, Kogan Page, 2012 Foreword by David Clutterbuck

Bert Hellinger originated constellations work which has been taken up by many others, at first in therapeutic settings and increasingly in coaching. John opens his book with the assertion: “The most effective way to understand constellations is to experience them” and says that writing about systemic coaching and constellations is “rather counter-intuitive”. I’m pleased that, given this challenge, he has produced the book, as I have found it a most valuable complement to application, helping me to integrate intuitive discoveries with rational sense making – and to be appreciative of achieving a change whilst not knowing! Constellations work resonates for me with being, mindfulness and presence...

Bringing a respect for and attention to the systemic context allows connections to be made with hidden patterns, people and meanings. Complexity is recognised and experienced. This is coaching by accessing and acknowledging what is. Everything and everyone has its place. There is no problem to fix, no goal or solution to pursue. Instead people and place are embodied through constellations created by the physical arrangement by the client of “representatives” - other people chosen by the client or objects arranged by the client. The coach or facilitator inquires to assist the client to gain insights without conventional analysis. Simple human truths are felt and experienced as the system is acknowledged in time and place. The holding framework of the constellation can allow “small shifts that support deep and lasting change in the system”. John is a highly experienced practitioner whose book provides principles, guidance, examples and illustrations.

July 2013

Act or be acted upon

You can always put off today what you can do tomorrow; result happiness equals procrastination saves energy, reduces stress, tick off easy stuff on to do list, easy life!

From my journal Monday 3 June

The local twenty five piece silver band has just completed its evening recital to raise funds for charity on the quay of this North Devon fishing village. I am sat watching the sun set fire to the evening sky as it goes on its way west reducing the air temperature from a balmy 18°c. The aroma of Sylvester's fish and chips which has my approval as being the best in the world, wafts by as if to say you must take ACTION to enjoy this wonderful English delicacy.

It is a constant source of amazement to me why young people walk around and even sit in coffee shops and restaurants with their mobile phones less than 30 cm from their nose? Answers on a post card please? In anticipation that someone will take ACTION and make use of their new found toy.

The slightly older person still holds their phone in one hand and it is only slightly less conspicuous

- still waiting in anticipation that someone will take ACTION and ring or text them. At this point I wonder are we creating one handed people?

A more mature person has arrived with their phone less visible, but when they sit down in the bar / office meeting where ever, the phone is strategically placed in front of them to signify they have status with the latest technology a SLX 45 type and still in anticipation that someone will take ACTION to prove that the phone is real and they are important. Then to absolute amazement, the thing bleeps, the owner looks at the screen to identify who it is and dismisses the call.

Then there are those who place their phone out of sight, in their pocket or handbag. When it rings they fumble to find it and when they do, it's a missed call and proceeds to wrestle with the technology to work out who it was that rang. Then the dilemma - do they or don't they take ACTION to ring back?

At last we have the super stars, they also hide the phone about their person and when eventually finding it the screen is blank, no battery, failed to take preventative ACTION and all that effort of searching for the device was wasted.

Interesting watching what goes on and I could be absolutely wrong, that people are often waiting for someone else to take Action or they fail to take ACTION.

Another example - I have a friend who is in a little bit of a problem, he has a client who owes him money for work he has completed. Being a very nice man he has not taken, for whatever reason, ACTION to recover his loses, procrastination. His client is smiling all the way to the bank having taken ACTION not to pay, lovely.

The Essence: when you have a good idea take Action to avoid disappointment, are others expecting you to take ACTION, avoid their disappointment and be proactive to avoid your own disappointment.

A voice, not in my head, but next to me says right it's time to eat. STIMULATION of thought then in a nano-second the response of CHOICE based on experience, risk, feelings, logic etc results in ACTION.

The musicians have taken a position in the sun at the Seagate Pub across the road participating in their favoured refreshment; Sylvester's aroma is still wonderful.

Is ACTION a choice? It is often an emotional choice. So off to Mrs Sylvester's then the Seagate…. must start that diet tomorrow!

Until next time, enjoy taking Action.

Book review

“The New Leadership Paradigm – leading self, leading others, leading an organisation, leading in society”

Richard Barrett, ISBN 978-1-4457-1672-5, 2010

Sub-titled “A Leadership Development Textbook for the Twenty-first Century Leader”, this book sets leadership in the context of the evolution of human consciousness. The new paradigm is based on vision, values, and the wellbeing of all stakeholders: a “full spectrum” of responsibility and sustainability which challenges the curriculum of business schools.

Barrett’s critique is that in focussing only on their responsibility for the interests of shareholders business leaders separate themselves from the reality of society and of the finite resources of the planet. He cites changes in civil society and emphasises the demands now being placed on leaders to shift from “I” to “we” – an idea from Bill George, Professor of Management Practice at Harvard Business School (“True North”, Jossey Bass, 2007). Building on the work of Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Barrett makes the case for leaders to “stop seeking to be the best in the world and start seeking to be the best for the world”. There are many resonances with the thought leading work of other authors: Beck and Cowan, Bohm, Cooperrider, Deming, Greenleaf, Hawken, Kotter, Maslow, Tolle, Torbert, Wilbur - including references to authors very familiar to many coaches, for example Covey, Goldsmith, Klein, and Whitmore. Barrett defines values as the principles we use in our day-to-day decision making. He has developed a values mapping exercise which he has applied to the cultures of many nations to measure levels of evolving consciousness leading to “fairness, openness, transparency and trust”.

Barrett proposes that personal leadership development reaching to full expression - authenticity - depends upon your commitment to self-discovery and the ability to recognise your own needs and to get these met. Responsible leadership begins with leading self, and requires listening, perseverance, collaboration, coaching, integrity and ethical behaviour.

August 2013

Beyond Freud – transpersonal psychology’s application to coaching

Base Metal’s lead article in May explored the basics of psychodynamic theory and its relevance to coaching. It highlighted some of the concepts of defence and unconscious process that affect how clients are. The thrust of psychodynamic theory is essentially “negative” and pessimistic – the PROBLEMS of humanity and being human.

Historically and as a reaction to the psychodynamic movement in psychology, came the humanistic and the transpersonal schools. Humanistic psychology focused on each individual's innate goodness, potential and stressed the importance of growth and self-actualization.

Transpersonal psychology is a humanistic theory centred on the spiritual aspects of human life. The term transpersonal psychology was first introduced in the 1960s by psychologists including Abraham Maslow and Victor Frankl (“Man’s Search for Meaning”). It utilizes psychological methods and theories to examine spiritual subject matter and has its roots in early work by psychologists including Carl Jung who were deeply interested in the spiritual aspects of human nature. In addition to using psychology to better understand spiritual experiences, transpersonal psychology also strives to provide a deeper and richer understanding of individuals and to help them achieve their greatest potential.

An early colleague of Freud, Roberto Assagioli – a psychoanalyst by training – conceived of a significant strand of transpersonal psychology, Psychosynthesis. Assagioli felt that acknowledging the spiritual dimension – a higher power for want of a better phrase - is crucial in seeing an individual as a whole person and that the transpersonal influences inner reality AND outer behaviour – that we are a system. In working with our coaching clients, the model and holding the spiritual for our client can help explore human potential and while the theories and techniques may offer a real breakthrough.

Our Western culture makes it difficult to talk about the transpersonal dimension – our “spiritual” lives are as embarrassing to many as their sexual lives were to the Victorians. We are reluctant to admit to non-rational, spiritual values. Care should be taken here when defining “spiritual” and “soul” in this context – as this does not mean “religion” or “god” (although for some it may include these). Freud incidentally saw the desire for something beyond the personal as “neurotic”.

Therapeutic methods such as mental imagery work, ideal modelling, free drawing are highly useful in working with the transpersonal and therefore with creativity, potential and inspiration of a client both to work with problems and to support towards what is possible.

To explore the Psychosynthesis model try Will Parfitt “The Elements of Psychosynthesis” and to explore the practical applications (including to coaching) Diana Whitmore “Psychosynthesis Counselling in Action”.

For more information visit www.psychosynthesis.edu The Psychosynthesis & Education Trust is the longest established psychosynthesis centre in Britain. The Trust’s main purpose is to gain recognition for the central role of soul and Self in psychology and to renew the soul in the everyday life of individuals, the family, groups, organisations and society. It offers professional qualifications (university, BACP/UKCP accredited), post-grad and public short courses and is based on Tooley Street (opposite More London).

Many thanks to Penny Terndrup, a colleague and trustee of PET, for writing this article.

Book review

“The Talent Code – greatness isn’t born, it’s grown”. Daniel Coyle, Arrow Books, Random House, 2009

“Mastery – the keys to success and long-term fulfilment”. George Leonard, Plume Penguin, 1992

The coaching Daniel Coyle describes in his book is mostly directed to developing skills in music and sport. Through instruction, errors are identified and corrected, and aware and informed practising provides continuous improvement. Intensive practice and adjustment allow skills to be honed: hence talent, evidenced by exceptional performance, can be grown. The underpinning science is the role of myelin in insulating the electrical paths in the brain which enable speedy responses. “Once a skill circuit is insulated you can’t un-insulate it (except through age or disease). That’s why habits are hard to break. The only way to change them is to build new habits by repeating behaviours – by myelinating new circuits.”

In “Mastery” George Leonard draws on Zen philosophy and aikido to define practice not as something you do, rather “something you have, something you are”. Both Leonard and Coyle emphasise the importance of repeatedly going to the edge: a lifelong process of learning. For Coyle learning is a kind of personal kaizen, and in an echo of Leonard’s invitation to love being on the plateau and appreciate practice for its own sake, he quotes Michelangelo: “If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery it would not seem so wonderful at all”.

Whilst Coyle’s coaches are subject experts, there are parallels here for those who coach from a different experience. He observes that many times the coaches he studied “are completely silent”; “they listened far more than they talked”. For learners his message is to ignite motivation: “better get busy”; “myelin doesn’t care who you are – it cares what you do”; then to “go slow”, step by step, with attentive repetition, “operating at the edges of your ability – where you make mistakes - and correct them”.

September 2013

What is coaching and how do you define coaching?

I am not sure that I have given this a lot of serious thought over the many years that I have been coaching. And I often read or follow email threads about this kind of topic. The editorial on an old edition of Coaching recently caught my eye and I followed a thread on the Eurocoach list during the last week of August with interest and bewilderment! Let me weave my learning from these topics together adding some ideas of my own and ending with a couple of questions for you to ponder

In the Coaching editorial (Volume 2, Issue 2, September 2009) Tatiana Bachkirova and Carol Kauffman pose the question “what exactly do we all mean by coaching?” and go on to outline some thoughts and ideas. They begin by revealing the many different definitions or descriptions of coaching that can easily be found through scanning the coaching literature. They note that some fine this a problem and others an advantage. They conclude that these differences seem to point toward two approaches to answering the “what is coaching ?” question. Firstly it is a special type of conversation and secondly it is a service or practice. They surmise that these very different ways of seeing coaching can lead to misunderstanding amongst everyone involved in or with coaching. Whilst both views are valid. They highlight issues about ethics, boundaries and supervision if it is merely a special kind of conversation and others from the Eurocoach thread add their point that many professions have similar kinds of conversations and so coaching needs to be something different. By contract some believe this blurriness (Cavanagh) might aid the development of the coaching profession. In the Eurocoach thread a similar difference was noticeable in individual comments without anyone being as clear about the difference as Bachkirova and Kaufmann, which would seem to support their view about misunderstanding and confusion.

Further learnings and ideas from the article and thread.

Is coaching client led? – from entirely (Mark Foster) to the coach is bringing themselves and so it is impossible to be completely neutral (Aboodi Shabi)

What is the role of the coach? – to enable the client (Jane Lewis), to help people/the client (George Metcalfe)

How can you define coaching? – via “what is it for?”, “what it involves?”, “where is it or context?” or “who is it for?” These are questions that Bachkirova and Kaufmann pose as a means to trying to get a standard definition and conclude that using these starting points a standard and unique definition for coaching is not possible

Let me add an important idea of my own. Whilst I had not thought about the two descriptions that Bachkirova and Kaufmann outline I have talked about coaching – small c and Capital C – for a long time. Small c, coaching is an approach to working with people – the equivalent of Bachkirova and Kaufmann special conversation, and Capital C, coaching is formal sessions, with an agreed contract. You can do small c coaching without doing Capital C coaching. You cannot – in my view – do Capital C coaching without doing small c coaching. Small c coaching is about the relationship, about what each brings to this relationship and about commitment to making the very best from the relationship. It is fundamental to my view and definition of coaching.

So, I subscribe to the idea that coaching is a relationship and I bring myself and my values and need to understand this point. I also need to be able to clearly explain my view and approach to coaching, how to do it and what I expect of myself and the client. I am very clear that over the years I have got better and clearer about both the importance of doing this in Capital C coaching and about what I say. This is a result of becoming clearer about my coaching and understanding myself within the coaching relationship.

So,

Does it matter that we have not got a clear and unambiguous definition of coaching? Do you have a clear purpose and definition for your coaching? Are you able to articulate it clearly and do you do so at the outset of every coaching assignment?

All thoughts, responses and ideas welcomed. We can publish some/all in a later edition of Base Metal

Book review

“Relational Coaching – Journeys Towards Mastering One-To-One Coaching”

Erik de Haan, Translation by Sue Stewart, John Wiley and Sons, Ltd, 2008

The author writes from his experience, in particular being an executive coach, supervisor and accreditor; Director of Ashridge’s Centre for Coaching; and programme director of the Ashridge Masters in Executive Coaching. The book includes an exploration of the Ashridge coach accreditation criteria, and discussion of coach training and supervision.

The three main parts of the book address the ways of coaching, of research, and of excellence - including the library of the coach, and continuing professional development; and provides appendices which encompass principles, codes of ethics and practice, and instruments and checklists. The book is both eminently practical and thoroughly referenced to coaching literature and research. Manfred Kets De Vries describes this work as “providing us with a roadmap that is second to none.” Central to the book is the coaching relationship: the author makes the case that interpersonal communication is more important to coaching success than are the tools, methods and models adopted by the coach.

Chapters 6 and 7, “I doubt therefore I coach” and “I struggle and emerge” explore critical moments of the less experienced and more experienced coach. These grounded enquiries are closely linked to research findings, and the question of future research in the field is examined. This thorough and informative book raises many questions and rewards thoughtful study.

October 2013

What are the values and needs which underpin your coaching?

With a dozen coaches I recently took part in an exercise led by David Collins in which we identified our own default coaching role - and each found out what others thought, based on their experience of us, was our typical preferred role. David provided five roles: challenger, counsellor, guru/sage, instructor, and motivator. He invited us to notice the advantages and disadvantages of each of these for the coachee, and for the coach. What do you believe are the advantages and disadvantages of each of these coaching roles?

Many of us felt we had more than one preference, and would flex according to client and context. We recognised that it was unlikely we would cover the full range and many felt that they would predominantly use two and might never use one or more of the others. Which roles do you use/not use, and for what reasons?

Each person in turn received the gift of feedback as we heard the opinion of each of the others as to how they experienced us. This proved unsettling for some, providing food for thought! For the most part self-report and other’s experience were the same. How do others experience your way of coaching? How do you know?

Taking part in this exercise stimulated me to reflect on the ways of coaching which I prefer, and to ask myself what values, assumptions and expectations inform my coaching behaviour. Perhaps you are now curious about your motivations too. For what reasons do you coach? What’s in it for you? What matters most?

I recognise that reputation matters to me and I am sensitive to the opinions others have of me – or I imagine they may have of me! I want to become more self-referenced and resilient, and yet retain my capacity to connect with others and my ability to empathise. I aspire to be more alert, present moment by moment and attentive to the other person. I also want to be mindful, and more aware of what is going on in me - to be in touch with my physical and emotional state and sense when this is important to share. How capable are you of noticing, and managing, your own state? When do you voice what is happening for you?

I think of this as an opportunity to become more self-aware and self-possessed, more consciously alive – and at the same time to be free of ego and preoccupation with my own needs. I want to quieten my inner critic and my desire to do a great job, so that I can be here and ready; to open and hold space in service of what is ready to emerge. How do you get out of your own way in order to get out of your client’s way?

In my most recent coaching supervision session I considered some of these questions with my supervisor. We began to explore my expectations of myself as coach. I have given these some further thought, and asked myself more questions. How important is it for me to earn respect by helping? Is this healthy – or necessary? What constitutes a worthwhile session? How do I know I have done a good job? What is the right work for me - work which feeds my spirit? How am I finding myself? What is meaningful for me? To whom or to what am I in service? How will I hold my response - ability lightly? What will a relationship of partnership be like for my coaching? Do any of these questions resonate with you? Which ones?

In a Coaching Constellations training programme I was reminded that there is little for me to do. Less is more. The client does the work. There is the possibility for me to be in a state of energy and connection in which I can experience flow for the benefit of those engaged in the process. How much of the work does your client do?

There are definitely times when I am coaching and I feel that an offer of my guidance may be useful. I am moving in the area between coaching and mentoring, and am becoming more aware of when to be explicit and clear about the role I wish to play, and checking for understanding and agreement with the coachee. I am becoming more aware of what may be appropriate and how to suggest or invite it. I am learning to ask myself when is this some need in me to add value - for my benefit e.g. to look good or to fix an issue, and when is it the best intervention for the coachee’s learning? How do I sense when silence and attentive listening are the preferred choice? When do you wait – to allow silence to open the opportunity? Or offer guidance?

The second module of the Alchemy of Coaching Programme is entitled “From Transactional to Transformational Coaching” and the third “Contracting for Transformational Coaching Outcomes”. In preparing for these modules I am inquiring into the role of contracting in setting intention: to enable the parties to know what they are engaged in and working towards, to make these expectations explicit and to own them. In this territory I’m recognising the importance of values, ethics and codes of practice. Before I can be fully attentive to client expectations I’m asking myself about my own needs, values and expectations - with curiosity and compassion. How sound a coaching contract do you have with yourself?

Book review

“Mojo – How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back if You Lose It”

Marshall Goldsmith, with Mark Reiter, Profile Books, 2010

“When [you] do something that’s purposeful, powerful, and positive...you’re firing on all cylinders, and ... everyone senses it”. That’s your mojo and it “starts from the inside and radiates to the outside”. Written by a prominent coach, this book is for leaders, with messages for coaches: “be honest with yourself; look in the mirror”; “the improvement from my clients is self-generated; it has to come from inside them – not inside me”. Marshall Goldsmith differentiates short term satisfaction (happiness) from long term meaning, and suggests ways in which we can increase both happiness and meaning for ourselves – including spending more time doing what we love and being with the people we love. He makes the case for optimism and realism, for taking up and letting go, for reducing the time we spend talking about others, for “living your mission in the small moments too”, for admitting we need help and asking for that help. And he reminds us of two of Peter Drucker’s most important questions: “Who is the customer?” and “What does the customer value?”

This book addresses identity (who do you think you are?), achievement (what have you done lately?), reputation (who do other people think you are?) and acceptance (what can you change – and when do you need to just ‘let it go’?). There is a link to a survey where the reader can increase self-awareness by measuring satisfaction and meaning in terms of where personal attention and time are invested. The author asserts: “There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. No external instructors handing out grades. Only you know what you’re feeling. Only you can score yourself”.

November 2013

How can we and should we bring the whole of ourselves to the coaching relationship?

In some coach training there is a strong message to “keep yourself out of the relationship”; others propose that “by bringing more of myself to the coaching relationship I enhance the capability I have to serve my clients”. These different views are compounded by the perspective that each person has many “selves”. See for example “Developmental Coaching: Working with the Self” by Tatiana Bachkirova, reviewed below.

What do you think?

In the Alchemy team we are strong proponents of bringing the whole person to the coaching relationship. We believe that our challenge is to do this skilfully and appropriately.

Here are some questions which we used as the basis for a workshop designed for discussing and exploring this topic.

What is the nature of the coaching relationship?

How do I know how much of myself I bring to my coaching? What is my awareness?

Do I think I should bring all of myself to the coaching relationship?

- If I believe that I should keep some parts to myself which parts are they and how can I prevent them from unduly influencing or contaminating my coaching?

- As I reflect on my coaching experience, what do I discover as insights or developmental challenges in relation to this question?

What are the advantages - and disadvantages - of bringing my whole self to my coaching?

In this context:

- what are the challenges that I have faced?- what are the challenges I may face?- how might I like to behave differently?- for what reasons?

How can I bring myself / my selves to my coaching, appropriately and successfully?

Considering appropriateness - and success - what do I take into account?

- When not to do so? Even if I think that it is generally appropriate to bring my whole self to the coaching relationship, are there times when I should not? In what circumstances?

- What cultural issues might there be? How when coaching people from very different cultures do I calibrate what is appropriate to the coaching relationship?

How will I know when my judgement is sound?

What part can supervision play in addressing these issues?

Our intention in posing these questions is to prompt exploration of what coaching means for us, how we go about it, and what assumptions and beliefs inform our practice. By inquiring into them with close attention we believe we can learn to deepen our awareness, enliven our noticing, expand our ideas, develop our skills and identify ways that we might - appropriately - bring more of ourselves to help and serve our clients.

Book review

“Developmental Coaching: Working with the Self”

Tatiana Bachkirova, McGraw Hill Open University Press, 2011

Praised by reviewers as “stimulating and thought-provoking” (Dr. Sunny Stout-Rostron), “intelligent, articulate and accessible” (Anthony Grant) and “fresh, insightful, original and stretching” (Dr. Ilona Boniwell), Tatiana Bachkirova’s book draws upon philosophy, psychology and neuroscience and rewards careful study.

Written for coaches who are curious about their work, this text provides a new theoretical framework for developmental coaching, connections to research, and models to employ. The author sets herself the question “what is developmental coaching?” and investigates “What is development? What is the self? What is the role of coaching? and What does ‘working with the self ‘mean?”. She addresses working with a multiplicity of self- models, and relates her theory to a variety of approaches to, and opportunities for, creative behaviours.

She writes “[you] will find here a theory with concepts and ideas to explore and to debate. Those who wish to enrich their practice will find practical ideas to learn, reflect on and apply immediately to engagements with clients. Those who see themselves as a crucial element of a coaching encounter will have an opportunity to explore and enhance their own developmental process. And ... I hope that you all are likely to become a little bit more developmentally-minded.”

Thoroughly and richly referenced, this book is a ground breaking contribution to the coach’s learning.

December 2013

“From transactional to transformational coaching”

An observation after a presentation on “Communication” and a separate request to recommend articles on reflective listening have prompted me to consider how little attention seems to be given in journals or in training courses to the art of listening. An exception is Nancy Kline’s work on “Time to Think” and “More Time to Think”. Apparently for many people listening is a taken for granted skill which does not qualify either for developmental or indeed remedial attention. Yet we find in coaching and in action learning that our participants frequently report that among the greatest benefits of these activities is the space - the luxury - for uninterrupted reflection: a time of quiet to be still and to notice.

The pace of working life and the quantity of information we typically receive inhibit or overload our opportunities for thoughtfulness and for simply being. To address this challenge mindfulness is becoming more commonly an ingredient of leadership and management programmes. Personal practice assists us to manage our own state and be resourceful and attentive as coach or facilitator.

Much performance coaching exists in the context of dynamic and demanding work environments often characterised by frenetic pace and urgency. Our capacity to say “no” or “later” can be compromised by a misplaced sense of duty, excessive fear of letting others down, or simply by judgement impaired by chronic tiredness. Events are not inherently stressful, yet our psychological and physiological responses to pressure can easily reduce effectiveness and lead to distress and illness. Timely coaching can assist in developing awareness and building resourcefulness and resilience - allowing the possibility for discovering how to get to ‘less is more’.

Module 2 of the Alchemy programme is concerned with the nature of transactional coaching and transformational coaching and how to move from the one to the other. We seek to understand the difference between these ways of coaching and to recognise the contexts and situations in which they are appropriate.

Depth and transferability of learning seem significant. To what extent am I aware of the desire for and opportunity to learn and grow beyond the presenting issue? How can I be competent in my choice and application of theory, frameworks and tools? How skilled am I in noticing the limits of these devices? How do I bring myself to the coaching relationship to evoke a learning partnership, in service of the coachee, which allows for new possibilities? How do I hold my own expectations lightly to allow space for discovery? How do I find and retain a sense of the coachee’s reality and act ethically to assist their insight and development.

By inquiring into my own transformation I can best prepare myself to support another’s transformation.

Book review

The art of learning, an inner journey to optimal performance

Josh Waitzkin, Free Press, 2007 Thanks to Amanda Ridings for this review

‘Much of what separates the great from the good is deep presence, relaxation of the conscious mind, which allows the unconscious to flow unhindered…The grandmaster looks at less, and sees more, because his unconscious skill set is more highly evolved.’

The follow-up from the first Alchemy of Coaching module included this quote from Waitzkin, which inspired me to re-read his book. What delights me about his premise is that he roots it in practice, dedication, and study. The ‘unconscious skill set’ arises from conscious hard graft.

Using his personal story, Waitzkin outlines how we can learn to access deep presence even under the great pressure of competitions. He is forensic in his inquiry into his practice of the arts that he developed to world-class level, first chess (from age 6), then t’ai chi (from age 20). Alongside ‘study’ of an art, Waitzkin explores emotional resilience – how to collect oneself and continue performing after both highs and lows.

Waitzkin outlines the difference between two theories of intelligence:

‘entity’ theory - I am good/bad at this, and have an ‘allotted’ level of intelligence; and

‘incremental’ theory - I can grasp this and improve if I practice, reflect, put in effort.

He explores the impact of each on a learner’s resilience and motivation.

Expanding on the incremental approach, he develops principles for mastery, one of which is: ‘study numbers to leave numbers’ or ‘study form to leave form’. For example, after an error in a chess game, he would immerse himself in a critical aspect of it, and analyse, dissect, try variations, compute…and, at some stage, ‘all the complications dissolved and I understood’.

If there is a downside to the book, it is the final section of blow-by-blow accounts of martial competitions. Even as a t’ai chi practitioner, my attention wandered, with a sense that Waitzkin wrote these chapters for himself rather than his readers.

That said, this is a vibrant book, an inspiration to examine practice with fierce curiosity, compassion and dispassion.

January 2014

It’s this time of year

I suspect that like most people I need moderate exercise after over indulging in Christmas festivities and my favourite walk is into the city of Oxford. My walk takes me over South Parks where I capture the magnificent views of the dreaming spires. As I get closer to the city centre I am in wonderment of the architecture, its history of this historical city. At this time everything is peaceful with just a handful of people enjoying the surroundings and exchanging seasonal greetings.

Then comes January, the same walk into the city: this time the atmosphere has changed. Of course the magnificent buildings are the same observing - in stark contrast to the people. It’s this time of year when hundreds of people are rushing to get to work on time distinguished by their glum faces and thousands of people are hurrying to extend their retail therapy. They are recognisable by their expressions of expectation and excitement, stimulated to find a bargain in the sales.

Then I notice another collection of people who have bright smiling faces who are reunited with friends as they pull large cases, unload vehicles - they are indeed students returning to study. They have a different agenda, excited and full of expectation for the new term.

It’s this time of year that many people review their situation and make personal commitments, contracts and resolutions to make changes. A recent survey highlights that it is this time of year that career change or even re-invention is given serious thought since 35% of the survey show they are unhappy with their current job and 31% want to increase their earning potential. It should be a busy time of year for recruiters and coaches.

It seems that these people have an intention, a purpose to their actions. A purpose to achieve goals and tasks and then enjoy the achievement – it strikes me that there are many achievements yet many fail to do the latter, enjoy.

It’s this time of year that brings us to what the French call the “Rentrée”. This is a special time of year after a break, slowing down, and a change in focus to the festive season. However, there is something else intangible about la Rentrée – a collective feeling of renewal and re-energisation as we return to work to study. Colleagues come back from their winter break recharged, motivated and focused on the year ahead. For those of you who doubt the benefits of a holiday, there are some studies that highlight the benefits of time off for reflection, re focusing on what is important to them for the year ahead and the ensuing actions. Surely another opportunity for a coach.

La Rentrée is also a time for us to take a fresh look at on-going projects. Now is a good time to reflect on the comments, feedback, evaluations on previous activities in order to re-focus and further develop our work towards improving our practice. There’s nothing quite like some time away so you can come back, re-focused in a fresh light in order to have clarity of purpose.

Happy New Year!

Book review

The Three Levels of Leadership – How to Develop Your Leadership Presence, Knowhow and Skill,.

James Scouller, Management Books 2000 Limited, 2011

“Personal leadership is a growth experience; a voyage rather than a destination”.

James Scouller is an accredited executive coach. His three levels of leadership are Public, Private and Personal. Part 1 is concerned with foundational principles and explanation and limitations of the model. Part 2, the greater proportion of the book, is devoted to Presence and Personal Leadership. This encompasses a systematic and thorough examination of how to work on three elements: technical knowledge and skills; attitude towards others; and self-mastery.

Having read twenty appreciations for this work before the title page, including those of Nancy Kline and Graham Lee, my expectations were high indeed. I quickly became aware of my discomfort with the tone in the first part of the book which seemed to me unduly instructional and expert. I am pleased that I persevered: the further I read the more depth and value I discovered. Those new to the study of leadership from an inside out perspective will find here a treasure trove of principles and techniques to explore, captured in a single volume of some 300 pages. For others already familiar with psychological and behavioural approaches to the practice of leadership the extensive notes and references are rewarding. For any reader wanting to develop and grow as a leader the exercises are likely to prove fruitful.

February

Awareness – a central component of great coaching!As we developed the Alchemy programme we created a model to illustrate the key elements to great coaching. We (with a little help from the participants on the first programme) have called this model the ‘SOCK-I’ diagram. In this article we want, briefly, to explore awareness in relation to each element. (The diagram is overleaf.)

Awareness of Self – Understanding ourselves is often the start point for awareness as a coach.

How well do we know ourselves? How aware are we of the impact of our behaviours on others, especially those who are similar or

different to us? How aware are we of our reaction to events in ‘real time’ and what capacity do we have to

respond appropriately every time? How well do we notice when we don’t know what to do and how do we cope with this?

Awareness of Other(s) – Much the same could be said about our awareness of our coachee or clients. How well do we know them? How well can we read and respond to their behaviour? This connection is a key part of building an effective coaching relationship. From this understanding we build trust and create the opportunity both to challenge and support appropriately.

Are we doing everything that we can to be aware of our clients?

Awareness of Context presents different types of challenges.

What do we know about the context? How could we find out more? What implications does this have for our

coaching? How are we relating to other stakeholders? What are the organisational implications? Are we managing boundaries successfully?

Awareness of Knowledge. This is yet another different challenge. When we set out as coaches our knowledge and

experience are limited. We often use our Knowledge to provide a safe structure and process for our coaching. As we become more experienced and learn more content - theory, information, approaches, models and techniques - we have far more choices about how we coach. We need to be constantly aware of how we are using our knowledge.

Are we using our knowledge to best effect? What additional knowledge would be valuable? What is the best way to acquire new knowledge?

Finally – at the centre of the SOCK-I diagram is Integrating, which is the challenge of mastery.

We have asked many questions in this short article. We encourage you to ask yourself these questions, seeking out answers by reflection, questioning others and completing appropriate CPD.

OtherIntegratingKnowledge

Self

Context

Book review

Full Spectrum Supervision: “who you are, is how you supervise”

Edited by Edna Murdoch and Jackie Arnold, Panoma Press, 2013

Eight qualified experienced supervisors, provide here “the full spectrum model”: a rich breadth and depth of perspectives for supervisors - and coaches - to enhance their appreciation of the nature and value of supervision and its vital contribution to the development of knowledge, skills and reflective practice. The chapters encompass ethics; mind, body and metaphor; transformational learning; heart; mindfulness and presence; psychodynamic and transpersonal approaches. Highly recommended!

March

Success – Be, Do and Have

Our foundation for this discussion is one of TP’s tools: The Success Model. “The aim of this tool is to encourage me to focus on how I want to be and then on what I want to do and finally on what I need to have as the route to more successfully achieving my goals.” In this article we focus on the ‘state’ aspects of the Be in relation to the coach and coachee.

By paying attention to our state and being aware of the state of our coachee we give ourselves the greatest platform to help with learning and development.

As the coach I can ask myself, as Step 1, how do I want to be in this session? I might/probably need to be slightly different from session to session depending on the coachee. Identifying how I want to be creates a positive attitude of mind. It brings the unconscious mind into play much more. There is abundant research that shows the unconscious mind is very capable of delivering success [see the Inner Game books for further explanation]. After giving thought to how I want to be the coach can move on and decide what I need to do and then establishing what resources I need to have to achieve the outcome.

As coaches our state of Being is important to how we create presence and how we build trust. From this foundation we can work with the coachee on how they want to be, both in the coaching session and also through the learning they take from the session and use more widely.

So how much attention do you give to the state you want to be in before and then at the beginning of a coaching session?

Should you do more to prepare your state? What more could you do to prepare your state? What are the barriers to your being in the best state that you want to be in? How will you access the state you require?

Moving on to the state of the coachee. How well are you able to assess the state of the coachee:

firstly - how they are when they arrive? secondly - how they might be enabled to get the most from the coaching session?

What do you do at the start of a session to assess the state of your coachee?

- e.g. sensing; noticing; calibrating; testing

How clear are you about what state might contribute to greatest learning?

How capable are you of helping to create this state? How will you achieve this?

As we write this we do not want to create the impression that the coach should be dictating the state the coachee needs to be in. Rather the coach is aware of and present to the state the coachee is in, respecting what is. Then, through building rapport, inquiry and checking for understanding, the coach can support the coachee to change their state if that will help enable them to produce better outcomes. State may change during the session; the coach’s continual attention to awareness of own and other’s state will provide opportunities and choices for the coaching to be appropriate and productive.

Book review

“Source – The Inner Path of Knowledge Creation”.

Joseph Jaworski. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2012

Author of “Synchronicity” and co-author of “Presence”, Joseph Jaworski explores leadership in this book by inquiring into the extraordinary. He begins with asserting our potential for co-creative leadership and prompting us to sense the future and bring it into being. Forty short chapters follow, each inspired by an idea or example. He concludes with an epilogue from a spiritual perspective. Through narrative and reflection the work touches a wide spectrum of thought and experience informed by philosophy, science and invention. Extensive references are provided for further study.

Those interested in “Theory U” will find many connections in “Source”, including the view that the role of the facilitator and the state of the facilitator’s consciousness are critically important to enabling creative discovery whilst using the U-process. Those curious to understand the nature of high performance “flow states” in teams will find puzzles, provocations and possibilities here. What is occurring when extraordinary collaboration, connection and co-creation happen? How can the source of these capacities be explained – and accessed? What discoveries enhance our ability to sense and actualise the future? Jaworski proposes four principles related to emergence, wholeness, creative potential, and contemplative practice connected to the generative process of nature.

April

Letting Go!

In a previous article we outlined some ideas for ‘letting go’ in relation to “what do you do when you don’t know what to do?”. In this article we want to explore a different aspect of letting go – our feelings.

I had two recent coachees who expressed a ‘problem’ letting go of their feelings. And they both acknowledged that allowing their feelings to remain strong and to dominate their reactions impacted negatively on their immediate performance. In short it prevented them from acting effectively.

So, questions arise for me to consider:

how do I let go of my own feelings if and when they are impacting negatively on my performance?

how might I help a coachee who came to me with this issue?

Let’s begin with my own feelings. Further questions can help me to improve my attention.

1. To what extent do I notice ‘strong feelings’ developing?

2. How aware am I of the, potentially, negative impact of strong feelings [the word potentially is important here] as they are developing within me?

3. If I am aware, in my experience, what have I been able to do to prevent my strong feelings limiting my capability?

My contention is that noticing when my feelings are building is the first and most vital element. If I am aware then I straight away have more choices available to me. If I am ‘blind’ then I have much less control and fewer choices.

So, how can I become more aware? Primarily by consciously allowing some ‘brain space’ to notice or pick up the signs. Once I am more aware what can I do?

Turn them off or put them to one side Acknowledge them to myself, including noticing where in my body I sense the feelings Acknowledge them openly – and inquire what the other person is feeling Explore whence these feelings arose, e.g. from my thoughts; and what may be going on Take a break to let them diminish

In my experience there is one further thing to do: “let go of any outcome that is connected to the feelings”.

If I remain strongly attached to ‘getting what I want’ this will make it much more difficult to seek a win-win outcome.

These examples are easier to outline than to achieve: they require practice and reflection to develop the habits of noticing; awareness of self, other and relationship; letting go of outcomes and seeking win-win.

How might you coach with these ideas? Let me throw the question to you and encourage you to send in your thoughts, experiences and insights and we will post these in a subsequent edition of Base Metal.

Book review

“Emotional Intelligence Coaching – Improving performance for leaders, coaches and the individual”

Stephen Neale, Lisa Spencer-Arnell and Liz Wilson, Kogan Page, 2009

“What am I feeling? Where am I feeling this? How do I know I am feeling this? What is the impact of feeling this?”

Such were the questions posed by one of the authors of this book at a coaching workshop in which I took part in 2010. I was attracted to attend by the description in the invitation: “A large amount of energy goes into hiding emotion, especially in the workplace, and yet this provides the real powerful essence of who we are and what we achieve in life. Emotional intelligence is about recognising how negative attitudes and the emotions they trigger can prevent us from reaching our potential. These attitudes can be challenged and changed with significant positive impact on feelings, thoughts and behaviour. Developing emotional intelligence leads to sustainable behaviour changes that improve the way you manage yourself and the way you work with others.”

During the workshop we were guided to explore the nature of the human brain and to inquire into instincts, feelings, thoughts and behaviours and how these may be related. Further questions were prompted, including “How am I responding? Does this feel right? What am I sensing in you / in me? What patterns am I noticing?”

In their book the authors offer definitions of “Emotional Intelligence” and of “Coaching” - then propose ways to develop emotional intelligence; understand and work with values, beliefs and attitudes; show how listening, questioning, rapport and empathy are core coaching skills; indicate how goals flow from values to action; and give attention to contracts and agreements, ethics and best practice. They describe the coach’s OK Corral (from Transactional Analysis) and the importance of the helicopter view provided by supervision. There are examples, diagrams and activities throughout. This book is a valuable resource.

May

Boundaries? Who needs them?

As the field of coaching becomes more regulated and the various accrediting bodies review and revise their Codes of Ethics, the topic of boundaries often seems to come up, in informal discussions between coaches, on discussions between members of Linked-In groups, and so on. But how important is it that we, as coaches, have a clear idea of what our own boundaries might be in different areas of our practice?

This brief article does not set out to offer any answers, but rather to suggest some of the questions we might want to ask ourselves, so that we can make informed choices when challenges arise.

One of the recurring themes for discussion is the boundary between therapy and coaching. Increasingly, people with a therapeutic background and training are entering the field of coaching. How do we decide when an issue brought to coaching is more appropriately dealt with in therapy? If, for instance, a client is struggling with low self-confidence, is this something a coach can help with, or should we suggest they find a therapist? If a client breaks down in a coaching session, should we take this as a sign that s/he is depressed and needs more support than we can offer? Or is it appropriate to simply bring our empathy, humanity and coaching skills to bear and seek a way forward? It might be that we need to look to our self-awareness and professional instinct in an instance like this and ask ourselves how we feel in response to the client’s issue. Do we feel out of our depth? Do we feel confident that we know what might be best for both the client and ourselves? What resources do we have (supervision, peer discussion) to answer these questions and to offer possible onward referral if necessary? How do we take care of ourselves?

Self-disclosure is another topic that occurs from time to time. We all find ourselves in situations at times when our own experience seems very relevant. How helpful is it to share this with a client? Might we be influencing their decision-making in an inappropriate way, given that we are all very different? How much does the client need to know about us personally before we cease to be regarded as a safe, impartial resource and become a mentor or friend rather than a coach, or even someone who might be regarded as potentially judgmental?

Connected with this might be the question of social contact with clients. Opinion is divided on this one. If our clients know us personally outside of the coaching setting, does it change the nature of our professional relationship with them? Are we seeking some kind of personal benefit from our relationship with them?

What is our attitude to fees and cancellations? Do we treat all our clients the same, or do we find ourselves making allowances for some, while maintaining strict rules with others? Clear contracting from the outset is obviously important here. How consistent are we with our contracting?

There are so many questions arising around boundaries and probably no right or wrong answers. But the risk of not asking ourselves these sort of questions in advance is that might be taken by surprise, to the possible detriment of our own well-being and integrity, and that of our clients.

How well are you navigating and managing your boundaries?

Book review

“Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others”

James Flaherty, Butterworth Heinemann, 1999

Ten years after obtaining a copy of this book, I still refer to it. On the cover of my paperback copy Peter M. Senge is quoted: “As interest in coaching grows, I think James Flaherty’s book will come to stand out as a definitive work.” Interest in coaching has grown, greatly, and the foundations laid here continue to serve.

The author starts from the premise that in whatever role we work with people - as manager, teacher, coach or parent - basic understanding of people is at the core. “Until we can reveal to ourselves what we understand people to be, we cannot coach them”. This profound question is typically taken for granted in the published works of many writers on coaching, Flaherty observes. He provokes us to take time out to rethink how we work with people.

This chosen canvas is, he recognises, formidable: he is addressing philosophical, sociological and psychological discussions which have evolved over centuries. He intends his inquiry to be a spur to personal reflection and to raising our awareness as to what is happening. Whilst his book follows a framework, it is not a step by step guide or a cookbook; more profoundly it invites us to throw away the instructions and design our own way.

Among those who have inspired him Flaherty numbers Fernando Flores and Humberto Maturana. Each chapter begins with a summary and a quotation, for example from Emerson: “Our chief want in life is for someone who will make us do what we can” and includes powerful propositions, e.g. “genuine coaching never happens unless there’s a partnership”. I particularly value the richly annotated suggestions for further reading.

June

What’s different about co-creative and transformational coaching?

Many activities in the workplace are separated, analysed, deconstructed, clarified, simplified and specified. The sequencing of these activities is captured: clear processes are identified and delineated. Such processes can be carefully mapped and systematically followed. Logical sequential stages enable chosen step by step actions. Appropriate roles and responsibilities are defined and assigned. Requisite knowledge and skills are assessed. Competencies, capability and capacity are determined. Resources are allocated. By deciding and describing who is accountable for planned outputs through the use of finite resources for particular time periods we expect to be able to manage our work productively and to assess our progress. We study our processes, measure their effects and intervene to improve efficiency and reduce or eliminate waste. Skills audits and training needs analyses are undertaken. Talent acquisition and retention policies and procedures are installed. Such disciplines can be followed rigorously. These logical practices are often necessary – and not sufficient. How so? Because neither we nor our organisations are machines. A systemic, organic, holistic, generative appreciation is necessary – admitting of complexity, uncertainty, turbulence, upset and emergence.

Some approaches to coaching resemble the systematic, mechanistic step by step approach. Goals are defined, problems examined, blockages explored, tools and techniques deployed, action plans applied and progress is measured. Some coaching approaches depend upon the creation of an inspirational vision of the desired outcome, and then the development of a back from the future strategy to help to work out how to get there. Some approaches are firmly located in the solution focus. Rather than examine the problems of what is not working or is hindering progress, attention is directed to what will be so when the required goal or state is in place. Strengths coaching and appreciative inquiry approaches concentrate on what works well and how this can be amplified to best effect.

No matter which coaching approach is adopted, attainment beyond what might have occurred if there had been no coaching is likely to require me as the coachee to learn about myself, and own my part in doing the work: change begins with myself. This change is unlikely to occur independently of context. I am enabled or constrained by the nature of the system in which I live – and by how I interpret my experience and attach meaning to it. When I change my behaviour I am bringing about a change in that system of which I am a part. Complexity dictates that my actions will engender both intended and unintended consequences.

How do coach and coachee take account of such complexity? To what extent is doing so important, and how will this be done?

One way to begin to address this question is to consider the coaching relationship. Here are coach and coachee, two individuals entering into a contract to work together.

What is this like? For instance:

How much is the coach rendering an expert service by doing coaching to the coachee? With whose agenda? To what end? How will success be measured?

How much is the coachee in full charge of what occurs, with the coach playing the part of committed listener, maintaining distance and objectivity? How will contribution and outcomes be assessed?

How much is the coach acting as instrument of the commissioning client, doing as bidden?

How much is the relationship a partnership between coach and coachee? What are the respective contributions? How does the partnership develop? Who owns what aspects of the work?

How prescribed and constrained is the scope, by whom, and how generative and emergent? How much do coach and coachee show up as whole persons in dialogue? What part does the coaching supervisor play? In what sense are coach and coachee in a dance with each other? Who leads, when and how?

Across the spectrum of specialist coaching are many offerings, including performance coaching, career coaching and development coaching; and distinctions between transactional and transformational coaching.

Co-creative coaching embraces the investment of coach and coachee in a shared enterprise where the shape and course of the coaching are developed through partnership and collaboration. Transformational coaching implies a significant shift - an order of change and learning beyond the incremental. Coaching can be both co-creative and transformational. Co-creative coaching is embedded in relationship. Transformational coaching requires the coach to be engaged in personal work on own self - or selves - as reflections and expressions of the systemic context, in order to relate to and resonate with the transformational aspirations of the coachee.

In an increasingly volatile and turbulent world there are opportunities for sensing the future and working in collaborative communities to discover new ways to respond to complex challenges of conflict resolution, development and sustainability. Constructive change occurs through changing the conversation. Co-creative and transformational coaches are well placed to help to make a positive difference.

Book review

“The HeartMath Solution”

Doc Childre and Howard Martin with Donna Beech, HarperOne, 2000

Coaches are often working with people who report unwanted levels of stress. Whilst this may not be sufficiently severe to indicate deep anxiety or depression and prompt referral to counselling or other health professionals, some change in pace or style of life is likely to be beneficial for the coachee. Greater awareness and sensitivity - sensing what is happening in an embodied and holistic way - can lead to new behaviours for self-care and improvement in wellbeing. There are many self-help books available to address such needs.

Among such contributions “The HeartMath Solution” is unusual in that it is based on research into the role of the heart in well-being. It offers the proposition of the intelligent heart and provides methods for achieving coherence – managing and reducing stress to attain healthier balance. The book resonates with mindfulness practices, with positive psychology, and with discoveries from neuroscience. It is an optimistic and practical offering of interest to coaches and therapists and to their clients.

July

Difference and differences – common to all coaching situations

In every coaching situation we face some differences. In this short article we want to explore difference and differences and pose some questions for you to consider on your own or with colleagues.

There are, at least, two types of difference that we, as coaches, face much of the time.

Firstly the obvious differences of age, personality, culture, background, experience and we will spend some time considering this form of difference. The second type of difference is what is taking place as coach and coachee work together. Both forms of difference have an impact on our coaching. How well do you identify and work effectively with these differences?

Let’s begin with the first type of difference. To name the most obvious – and it is not intended that this list is complete – age, personality, national culture, gender, experience, background and upbringing, education.

How many of these do you encounter regularly in your coaching? In my own coaching I routinely face differences of age, personality, nationality and hence culture, gender and experience. What impact does this have on me and my coaching?

It requires me to remain alert to unexpected responses that come from these differences – especially:

Age. Younger people tend – although it is by no means a given – to be more familiar with and comfortable using technology. How does this impact me? An aging technology dinosaur!! What other differences can be a result of age difference?

Personality. This is encountered in almost every coaching session. Big difference poses one set of challenges whilst similarity poses another. Both require me to be alert and taking account of ‘difference language patterns, difference ideas about creativity or structure etc etc.

National cultural differences. For example ‘face’ is very important to some cultures. Time for prayers is important to Muslims. Saying ‘yes’ does not necessarily signal agreement in some cultures.

Gender. All kinds of differences exist between the genders. Being appropriately aware is vital. Experience. This can be a big challenge. I often find, especially with younger coachees, that they

would like or prefer to seek my advice or guidance ‘because I have experience’. In these situations I have to be particularly carefully and to ‘flag up’ when I might be offering advice in a coaching session. Again I have to be alert to becoming a less effective coach [and might still be a good mentor…] when the relationship is about coaching not mentoring.

The second form of difference is every bit as important to recognise and understand. Within a set of coaching sessions things are likely, almost certainly, to be changing. The nature of the relationship, the coachee’s development and achievement of goals and objectives and the coach’s own development.

What impact does this have on me? How much do I factor these differences into my coaching? How much can we enable our coachee to recognise the changes they are making and their impact

on our relationship? How can I build in these changing differences to improve the relationship and the effectiveness of

my coaching?

Difference and differences are ever present whilst coaching. It is easy to forget or ignore individual differences and the changes that take place, during a set of coaching sessions, and to do so runs the risk of reducing the benefit.

How well do you notice, understand and use differences to best effect?

How could you do better?

Book review

“Diversity in Coaching – Working with Gender, Culture, Race and Age”

edited by Jonathan Passmore, Kogan Page, Second edition, 2013

Twenty-six contributors bring their experience to this work. A short biography is included for each of the chapter authors. Following a brief introduction from Marshall Goldsmith, Jonathan Passmore and Ho Law set the context of cross-cultural and diversity coaching. Technical advice for the book has been provided by Helen Baron. There are three main sections. Part One deals with international perspectives, in Europe, North America and Australasia. Part Two explores developing coaching practices across the globe with examples from South Africa, Brazil, China, the Middle East, India, Russia, Japan and Central America. Part Three addresses coaching difference: men; women; life transitions, disabled people, gay and lesbian clients; and mental health.

The chapters are extensively referenced and supplied with case studies, frameworks and summaries. At the end short appendices list coaching associations and useful journals, and there is a comprehensive index. Exploring the impact and implication of difference and diversity in coaching, this book contains in some 290 pages a valuable resource for coaches seeking both to broaden and deepen their awareness of coaching contexts or to familiarise themselves with situation and practice in a specific cultural or client area. This volume is one of a series published by Kogan Page in association with the Association for Coaching.

August

Self-responsibility and coaching – metaphors for active grounding

As coaches we have to remain vigilant and aware of our own behaviour. If we are to remain in service of our clients we also need to remain grounded and cognizant of our own values and beliefs. I want to relate these challenges to a simple model, that many of you will know, the coach’s progression from novice to master – in the sense of artisan trades, apprentice, novice, journeyman, master craftsman and the discussion point in a recent supervision session.

Let’s begin with the model. The model illustrates a common learning progression from Unconscious Incompetence – don’t know what we don’t know, around to Unconscious Competence – deliver high performance without really knowing how. We added an additional step to this model, some years ago, called ‘Mastery’ – where you go beyond unconscious competence to a state where you not only know you know you can also share this learning with others and if necessary choose to make difficult choices from a range of options. What is important about the model is the path that eventually leads back to unconscious incompetence – the state of not knowing what we don’t know. So how does this relate to complacency and the coach’s skill progression?

[This is a revised diagram and not the one published in August 2014]

Complacency is a state where we are not exercising full self-responsibility. In my supervision session I was concerned that there were occasions when I was not focussing 100% on the situation at hand and so risked becoming complacent. I want to relate this situation to the coach’s progression. As an apprentice

With little awareness or further learning and so back to unconscious incompetence

and diminishing performance

Towards mastery via continual noticing, reflection, learning, experimentation,

practice and passing on my skills to others

Mastery“I know what I know and am committed to gaining more

knowledge and skill to deliver continual personal development and improvement”

I am present, aware and keen to learn more

Dissatisfaction with my current performance can encourage

continued learning, reflection and experimentation

Fear and motivation can encourage me to practice

for improvement

Unconscious Competence

“I can do it without thinking about it”

I am ready to move to another level

Frustration and curiosity can encourage greater awareness

about what I am doing

Conscious Competence

“I know what I know and can deliver with effort and application”

Clunky and I want to be smoother

Conscious Incompetence

“I know what I don’t know”

I am aware and want to learn more

Unconscious Incompetence

“I don’t know what I don’t know”

I am blind and unaware

or novice coach we are more likely to be on the left hand side of the model. Here a common ‘complacent’ scenario is to focus on the models we have learned such that our attention to the coachee in front of us is diminished. The Master coach, on the right side of the model, is far more likely to become complacent because they know they are competent, have experience of many situations and so make the mistake of believing ‘I can cope with anything at any time’. They do not move onto the Mastery level and continue around to unconscious incompetence again.

I realise that I have painted particularly extreme examples to make a point: that if we do not recognise our own skill and capability levels we run the risk of becoming complacent. Complacency means that we fail to give of our best to our clients. If we do not learn to recognise the first signs of complacency and put in place metaphors or images to remain alert we run the risk of failing to learn and so hinder our progress through the coaches’ skill levels.

So, how does this relate to metaphors and being grounded?

I realise that I use a lot of images or pictures in my mind to remain alert and grounded, for example

are my feet firmly on the ground? how far ahead is my ‘radar’ scanning? what possibilities or concerns is my ‘radar’ picking up? where am I in the conscious unconscious model – am I chasing my tail?

What do you do? What metaphors come to mind?

How do you ensure you maintain high levels of awareness and self-responsibility?

How do you remain grounded and use your values, beliefs, attention and skills to best effect?

Book review

“Metaphors We Live By”, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, University of Chicago Press, 2003 edition

“Metaphors In Mind – Transformation Through Symbolic Modelling”, James Lawley and Penny Tompkins, The Developing Company Press, 2000

Lakoff and Johnson have added an Afterword to their 1980 examination of the role of metaphor in language and the mind, in which they assert that “Because we reason in terms of metaphors, the metaphors we use determine a great deal about how we live our lives”. As I read it I recalled that David Abram in “The Spell of the Sensuous” is necessarily confined to use words to explore the quality of human connection with life and environment before the emergence of language; he suggests that the artifice of language has both enabled our development and distanced us from being alive in relationship. As language developed so metaphor characterised its nature. Lakoff and Johnson provide a critique of linguistic objectivism and subjectivism, favouring an experientialist account of understanding. Their work has profound implications for our understanding of “truth”, meaning and judgement and hence for the quality of our lives.

Lawley and Tompkins, inspired by the work of the late David Groves, have developed their own method of “Symbolic Modelling”, a process of clean questioning evoking the client’s own metaphors and meaning. They acknowledge Lakoff and Johnson’s “innovative and mind-expanding book” and definition: “The essence of metaphor is understanding and experiencing one kind of thing in terms of another” so capturing the essential nature of an experience. The method is supported by sample transcripts and an extensive bibliography.

These two complementary volumes are of great value for appreciation of the social construction of reality.

September

Presence as a Coach

Successful coaching is not simply about what words you use. To a far greater extent it is concerned with an endless panoply of subtle signals delivered by the coach and the environment where sessions take place. These create a perception, the effect of which will drive the process from the client’s perspective.

It is often said that 90 per cent of communication is non-verbal. If this is true, what are we communicating as coaches when we come into the coaching space? The environment that we create for the client can enable their creativity and thoughts to flow or can stifle ideas and cause distraction. The personal chemistry, chat and the contracting part of our coaching relationships are very much part of this establishment of essential rapport, through which we earn the trust of our clients and gently find the correct path for our work to succeed.

Included within this area, it is clear that our own mental readiness for coaching is paramount. How well we self-regulate our thoughts, judgments and prior distractions before we attend to the client will influence how much we – and they - achieve.

If we are positive about the client’s potential for change and development, this will come across. So will the reverse. If we are comfortable in the meeting venue, and we hold high expectations for the coaching to be successful, it is more likely to be so.

The Association for Coaching, with other professional bodies, recognises that a core competency for coaches is “Managing self and maintaining coaching presence”. We know that a client’s best motivation to change will come from their own ideas and actions, stimulated by the coaching but sourced from within. The relationship between us and our clients, the quality of the thinking space, the alertness of the coach to intuitive sparks and tiny signals from the client, will combine to make a difference. These are what is meant by our coaching presence.

Presence is not an on/off decision. It is more a spectrum of varying presence levels that will depend on state of mind, health, and self-regulation. At the most extreme, we may be absent in mind if not body because we are distracted, in pain or worried about something. We are all on our own journeys of self-improvement and may have inbuilt assumptions about the world that differ from our clients’ worldviews.

Since coaching is a productive and creative process, imagine that the coach provides the materials for the client’s artwork to flow. As a coach, do you provide a steady easel, smooth canvas, top quality paint and the best brushes? Or a piece of rough paper and a blunt old pencil?

Maria Iliffe-Wood, in her book Coaching Presence, put it like this: “Coaching presence is about creating an enabling space. Enabling for the client, enabling for the coach and enabling for the learning.”

To be a successful coach demands authenticity, being mindful of what others are thinking and feeling and, crucially, being mindful of your own thoughts and feelings as well.

This article has been kindly written by Eleanor Sturdy who is currently completing our Alchemy of Coaching programme.

Book review

“Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart”

Mary Beth O’Neill. Jossey-Bass, 2000

This is a powerful book which encourages the coach to challenge themselves with regard to how they are with their clients. It is important to stress that the Context for her book is coaching within an organisational setting, when coaches are working with senior leaders and executives. She often includes ideas that some would feel verge on consulting. She sees coaching as only one of the tools that can be used to facilitate organisational and personal development and change. For all that the book outlines some very valuable ideas, especially for the already experienced coach, as she describes and discusses the complex pulls on a coach.

She begins with her three core principles: the coach’s signature presence, using a systems perspective and applying a methodology when already using the first two principles.

She explores the first two principles in depth. The first is the important idea of the coach’s signature presence. This is about the coach bringing the whole of themselves to the coaching relationship and how they are able to be with their clients. When you bring your signature presence you bring all your ideas, values, creativity, passion, emotion, judgement, biases and challenging suggestions to your clients whilst maintaining strong relationships. This is her Backbone – saying what your position is when popular or not and Heart – staying in the relationship and reaching out even when in conflict. She encourages the use of direct observational feedback based on the coach’s experience with the client. To develop signature presence she recommends four development areas. To identify and sustain a goal for each coaching session, to manage yourself in the midst of ambiguity, to increase your tolerance to your own immediate reactivity and to bring immediacy to the moment. The second, adopting a Systems perspective, is fundamental to her proposition. Unless the coach explores the client’s challenges within the wider system – which includes the role that the coach is playing in the system – then successful progress is less likely.

O’Neil believes that coaches require a results orientation to their clients (leaders) problems, need to adopt a partnership relationship, should engage the client in the specific leadership challenges they face and link all behaviours to the bottom line by helping to set specific goals and expectations. She believes that we learn these competences through experience, reflection, and sharing with others.

I recommend this book to all coaches, as it has much to share for experienced and less experienced coaches. Whilst the whole book has something to say I found the pages on signature presence the most valuable.

October

Reflective dialogue and its value while coaching

Humans have a birthright to good conversation. Well before history our societies were forged and nurtured in conversations around thousands of fires. One of life’s greatest joys is to fall happily into conversation about matters of vital and mutual discovery. Such conversations can take an unexpectedly creative turn, and deliver exceptional fulfilment – ‘Aha!’ moments of treasured insight, you could say.

‘Now I really see what’s going on between me and X!’ said a coaching client recently, as if emerging thankfully from a fog. We had mapped the pattern of positions, feelings and moves that had led to a familiar, unwanted, outcome. It wasn’t just an analysis; there was something extra that pushed it over an edge - into a flow of shared understanding.

Yet, at other times a conversation seems stuck with information. Friendly, maybe, but it’s not going anywhere that’s viscerally interesting - or the interesting bit, the nub of it, keeps frustratingly just out of reach.

So how does an effective discussion transform to an insightful and creative dialogue? What can reflective dialogue contribute to coaching practice? - And what is dialogue, if not just a conversation?

To meet in dialogue, as I do regularly with a group in Edinburgh, is to gift each participant with a personal experiential ‘mirror’. This is fascinating. Dialogue shows me in the moment, as I ‘listen-speak’ among my own and others’ words, how I am actually being and thinking. With this insight among each of us, things begin to build, and the dialogue becomes a shared vibrancy and creation among the group.

Our conversations are set up purposefully in search of some emergent question that attracts our collective attention. We find it necessary to create a set of behavioural agreements among the participants for each meeting. For example:

Speak only for and about myself, what I feel and think. Address remarks to the centre, not to individuals. Balance my listening and speaking. Be concise; refrain from interruption or repetition. Suspend personal judgement of self and others.

Allow silence, slow the pace of exchange. Call time-out to reflect upon process and rebalance the dialogue.

If we neglect these agreements, the group’s experience tends towards the hum-drum. With them there is a growth of trust, and the sense of a resilient and supportive vessel to hold the conversation and carry it forward. With consistent engagement, a level of collective appreciation can happen – often a point at which the shared experience ‘takes off’ and adopts a transpersonal quality of its own that feels like collective, generative intelligence.

Dialogue shows me my habits of thought as direct experience. It shows me what happens to be in my mind, and the assumptions and patterns I am using as a basis for my thinking. In the private and confidential space – the vessel – for one-to-one coaching conversations, disciplines of group dialogue help me to reflect upon what might be going on with my client, and to ask open questions that can help them to reflect in comparable fashion. In spite of this, it is easy to slip into the much less helpful realms of assuming and judging. The requirement is to maintain mindful awareness, humour and realism.

In order to get to a point of congruence, and of potential transpersonal connection, with others, I need first of all to understand that the only truth I can authentically speak about is that which lies within me as

my direct, aware and present experience. This has been dialogue’s simple and most valuable gift to this particular coach.

Book review

“Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together”

William Isaacs, Introduction by Peter Senge, Currency Doubleday, 1999

In his introduction Peter Senge writes of the art of talking together: “Our conversations organise the processes and structures which shape our collective futures.”

Building on over ten years of MIT based research with corporations, managers, and business and community leaders, Dialogue is about the importance of better designed conversation to allow listening and reflection so that different points of view can really be heard and reflected upon. Dialogue as defined in the book is a means of “learning to shift…attitudes about relationships with others, so that we gradually give up the effort to make them understand us, and come to a greater understanding of ourselves and each other. … From shared meaning, shared action arises.”

Dialogue draws on the work of family systems therapist David Kantor, offering a process based on the dynamics of four interdependent players: movers, opposers, followers, and bystanders. The conversation works when all of these archetypical contributions are present. All four are not present in the common expression of argument and debate, where efforts to persuade prevent real listening and close down possibilities. Dialogue provides instead the opportunity for participants to notice, and question and challenge their own assumptions, concerns, fears, dislikes, animosities and dreams. Dialogue allows for the conversation to reach fruitful places unimagined at the outset.

William Isaacs counsels that we must develop these skills within ourselves and model them in our interactions with others before seeking to apply them to the teams we lead or the problems we face. His book explains how to practice and remain open and inquiring as we gain in capability.

November

The relationship is everything!!

I have quite deliberately cast the title of this month’s article in a provocative manner! Whilst I am quite sure that all coaches regard the relationship between coach and coachee as important to what extent is it everything? To what degree does the quality of the relationship determine everything that follows? This article looks at these questions, poses more questions and then moves beyond the provocative title to ask “how do we build an effective relationship that allows for good coaching and good outcomes?”

Whilst you might not concur that the ‘relationship is everything’ most coaches will probably agree that without a good relationship between coach and coachee little progress will be made. So what characterises a good relationship? Are you able to articulate the nature and quality of the coaching relationship that you would like and do you do this when contracting? Would it be helpful and useful if you did?

Paul Brown, who co-authored the coaching book “Neuropsychology for Coaches” believes it is essential for coaches to thoroughly explore the history of coachees. Can you and should you do this as a specific part of building your relationship? Is exploring history so important as to be fundamental to building the relationship?

We know that effective coaching requires a relationship of trust that is robust enough to withstand challenge, feedback and tension as well as benefiting from encouragement and support. So, what do you do to build your coaching relationship?

How much time and effort do you spend consciously building the relationship? Do you have particular exercises or activities that you use and when do you use them? What expectations do you have for the relationship and how do you explore them during

contracting?

If these questions apply to the start of a coaching assignment what happens to the relationship over time?

Do you continue to invest time specifically to maintain and further build the relationship? Does the nature of the relationship change over time? If so in what ways? Is this planned or by

happenstance? If the relationship changes how is this demonstrated and is it helpful or hindering? What benefits come from the relationship changing or developing?

Another perspective on the question of our relationship with coachees is concerned with our personality, style and approach.

How much time and effort do we apply to understanding the coachee’s style and personality, both to ensure we can build a satisfactory relationship and to apply greatest effective effort to marrying the two styles together?

How do you know when your style or approach is getting in the way of the solid foundations you might desire?

How can differences in personality and style be constructively navigated to produce beneficial results?

The relationship between coach and coachee is clearly important. Is it everything? Probably not, although in my own belief it is in the 80-90% zone, as without it I cannot operate and coach effectively. With whom

do you explore questions about the relationships you have with your coachees - e.g. your supervisor - and does this help you to be more effective in both individual assignments and more generally?

Our relationships can be complex, challenging and exciting. Do you do all you could to create and maintain and develop the best relationships you can?

Book review

“The People You Are - the New Science of Personality”

Rita Carter, Abacus, 2014

This month’s article, above, raises questions about the part played by personality in the coaching relationship. In “Developmental Coaching” [reviewed in Base Metal, November 2013] Tatiana Bachkirova takes a phenomenological view of what probably differentiates a good coach from a not so good one: the latter “can understand what the client is struggling to describe from his internal standpoint, which is unique, and, by definition, a lonely place.” She quotes Daniel Dennett: “why understanding consciousness and the self remains ‘just about the last surviving mystery’.” Bachkirova later explores the role of the coach and the nature of the coaching relationship, taking account of different psychological approaches, and looking at a multiplicity of self-models.

In this month’s book, “The People You Are”, Rita Carter draws on psychiatry, psychology and neuroscience to question the notion that any one of us has a single “self”. Scientific studies of the memory and of mental and emotional states suggest that we have many “selves”: this is a normal human condition rather than, except in unusual cases, a disorder or pathology.

Each of us is a cast of characters who will behave differently in different situations. We may become confused, indecisive or critical when two or more of these separate personae seek to command the stage at the same time. Or we may feel we have acted out of character: “Whatever came over me - I simply wasn’t myself.” As with the voice dialogue work of Hal and Sidra Stone e.g. in “Embracing our Selves” and the “Selves in Action” workshops created by Adrian Longstaffe, Rita Carter’s book is an invitation for us to discover, acknowledge and celebrate our range and capability as we find out how these different characters can work effectively together and apart and more appropriately from one circumstance to the next. By doing so we can become more inwardly and outwardly aware and empathetic, and better able to be “a good coach”.

December

“Conflict … useful or not?" Contributed by Tania Watson

Oh, yes it is …

Oh, no it isn’t …

Well, it would be remiss of me not to allude to the season’s most anticipated lines … wouldn’t it?

Oh, yes it would …

Oh, no it wouldn’t … etc!

This short article is intended as a thought jostler … not to posit a right or wrong answer, instead to awaken our senses to what might be possible, what ‘I’ might avoid, or miss even, if I do not embrace the concept of conflict.

It seems to me that the word conflict has, historically, and certainly in the more recent past, been given a bad rap. Newscasters speak of conflict in reference to war and civil unrest which, technically, is an accurate use of the word, yet somehow in this context it appears more foreboding than if we speak of conflict as a state of mind in which a person experiences a clash of opposing feelings or needs…

There is a divide between people who think of conflict as potentially aggressive and therefore unhelpful and those who believe it to be a useful tool to disrupt thinking and behaviours in order to stoke the creative fires within us.

Perhaps the answer isn’t black and white – perhaps the question is not about whether conflict is useful or not, maybe it’s more about how and when to employ it … elegantly?

If the introduction of conflict is intended to induce a fight then the chances are productive results won’t ensue. If the intention however, is to be instrumental in re-patterning beliefs and behaviours; provoking difference and change; firing new neural pathways; leaning in to the status quo and asking – is this what we truly want and need? Then, just maybe, conflict is a useful tool to be learned and practiced.

Someone once told me a story about a prominent business leader (they couldn’t remember who, and even without attachment to an actual person this metaphor remains powerful to my mind) who at the end of a board meeting asked: “So, are we all agreed?” To which the resounding answer was yes by his fellow board members. At which point the business leader retorted “Then, we are not doing our jobs properly…”. In his mind, it seems, conflict and debate were deemed to be healthy, necessary even, to make certain that boardroom decisions were robust.

Patrick Lencioni in his book – The Five Dysfunctions of a Team – asserts that if a team experiences a fear of conflict then dysfunction will be present. Teams that seek high performance are able to experience robust conflict and debate with the focus remaining on the subject being discussed and not veering towards either, unhelpful, end of a spectrum that spans from ‘artificial harmony’ to ‘mean spirited personal attack’. Balancing conflict in the centre of this spectrum and being able to engage in great discussion about the merits of an idea moves teams towards outcomes that everyone, even if the idea was ‘not invented here’, can understand as the most appropriate to meet the need.

The moral here is that homogenous thinking delivers vanilla results and that just doesn’t ‘taste’ as good as it might if it had other flavours mixed in and a few sprinkles of choice lightly dusted across the top…and the ability to embrace conflict may just deliver this additional ‘sparkle’.

So, what’s all this got to do with coaching outside of teams?

In the last issue of Base Metal, our author spoke of Paul Brown’s work in the field of neuroscience. Paul’s assertion is that our job as coaches is to help our clients break the patterns of behaviours that maybe began in childhood and that, perhaps, do not serve us so well in adulthood. We do this by encouraging a clear understanding of how the patterns began (taking a thorough and deep rooted personal history) and then by challenging our clients to learn how to fire different, refreshed, neural responses to issues they face. It’s a great idea – so, how do we do it?

Provocatively, is the answer… being prepared to introduce conflict into the coaching relationship. Not just conflict between us as coach and our coachee, also stirring some inner conflict in our client so that they understand the irony of behavioural patterns that hold them back.

Sue Knight (NLP in Business) speaks about provocative coaching - the art of challenging our clients with pattern, and literal, interrupts, with humour. Really calling them to account on how they achieve being ’stuck’ in their story and how they might reframe their thinking about this ‘thing’ by allowing it to appear as a piece of fun to engage with. In essence, it’s about moving someone from their first position (within the story) to a third, or at least different position (outside the story) so they can begin to see in.

If we are prepared to let go our fierce grip on what we believe to be THE outcome (or destiny) then we might be able to embrace conflict as a way in which newness might be provoked to flourish…

Book review

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team - a Leadership Fable

Patrick Lencioni, Jossey-Bass, 2002

By means of an easily read story of a chief executive working with senior colleagues, Patrick Lencioni introduces his model of what gets in the way of effective teamwork – and how to behave to succeed. The model is both simple and profound. He acknowledges that the book was a team effort. Collaboration and teamwork are necessary in our complex, challenging world. No matter how dynamic and talented, individuals will not optimise their offering unless they value the contribution of others. Conflict is part of that process.

NLP at Work – The Essence of Excellence, Sue Knight, Nicholas Brealey, Third Edition, 2009

Sue’s Knight’s book makes light work of explaining, engagingly, how NLP can make “the difference that makes the difference”. Her final chapter in this third edition, inspired by the founders of NLP, the Transactional Analysis created by Eric Berne, and Frank Farrelly’s Provocative Therapy, shows how we can achieve deep change through humour and the capacity to laugh at ourselves.