PENTECOSTAL THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

FIELD STUDY ON

FAMILIES IN THE FAMILY OF GOD

SUBMITTED TO DR. JACKIE JOHNS

IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE COURSE REQUIREMENTS FOR

MINISTRY WITH FAMILIES CO713X

BY: FRED SMITH

CLEVELAND, TN

INTRODUCTION

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An area of study that has not received enough attention is that of the interrelationship that

exists between the family and the church. However, it may go unnoticed because even the church

does not appear to recognize the link between the spiritual health of the family and the spiritual

health of the church. In my opinion, this may be for several reasons. The first is that many

churches center their outreach ministry efforts through departmental emphasis pertaining to indi-

vidual members of the family in the form of student ministries, single/career ministries, women’s

and men ministries and so on, but there are few outreach or discipleship programs that are de-

signed to specifically target the family as a whole. The second reason is that many churches to-

day have become more focused on providing a worship experience or a successful event than

they are on the long term impact that these events have on family growth. This may be due to the

third and most important reason the church does not have influence on family life and the family

does not have influence on the church and that is the church has lost site of the role that God has

intended for her to play because the force behind her ministry methodology is no longer the Holy

Spirit but is societal approval. It is imperative that the church return to the call that God has

placed upon her to reflect the love of Christ to a hurting world by connecting a community of

believers to the church and the church connecting to a community of believers. Jesus conveyed

the importance of this statement in John 13:35 when He said, “By this all people will know that

you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” The early church demonstrated this in

Acts by becoming a community that met the needs of one another through selfless sacrifice and

adherence to the Gospel: “And all those who had believed were together and had all things in

common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all,

as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking

bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of

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heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their num-

ber day by day those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:44-47, NIV)

It is with these thoughts in mind that I conducted the course field study project to demon-

strate the link between families in the family of God. I chose a family that I have had the oppor-

tunity to interview on multiple occasions through the Prepare and Enrich Marriage Enrichment

program because I have seen this dynamic of interrelationship between this family’s involvement

in the church and the positive impact it is has had on the family as well as on the church. The fo-

cus of the interview will be upon the mother who I will refer to as “Tina,” because though the

family granted permission for their story to be discussed, they did not want their identities re-

vealed due to the sensitive nature of some of the information that they shared. The following dis-

cussion is a summary of eight weeks of interviews that I had with “Tina,” as well as other mem-

bers of her family, namely her husband “Robert” and their son “Sam.” These interviews will serve

to establish that when intentional efforts are made to advance families within the family of God,

there can be a positive picture for both the family and the church.

BACKGROUND

“Robert” and “Tina” have been married for 39 years. “Robert” is 62 years old and recently

retired from a 25 year career with a local big box store and “Tina” is 59 and works as a third

party insurance coordinator for a local oncology group. They have one son, “Sam,” 30, who is

married to “Jessica” and is 28. They have one grandchild, “Abbie,” who is 6. The entire family

currently resides together in the home of “Tina’s” parents and serve as caretakers for “Tina’s” fa-

ther, “Joe,” 82, who is disabled and requires around the clock care. “Robert” and “Tina” moved

from Atlanta back to Chattanooga 7 years ago when “Tina’s” mother, who suffered from

Alzheimer’s Disease, was still living in order to assist “Joe” in her care. “Sam” and “Jessica”

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moved from Atlanta to Chattanooga as well shortly thereafter to also assist in this endeavor.

They were living in Chattanooga when “Abbie” was born.

Historically,“Tina’s” family of origin was, primarily due to the influence of her mother,

heavily involved in the Church of God denomination, attending the East Chattanooga Church of

God (ECC), where I currently pastor, all of “Tina’s” childhood and continuing after she had mar-

ried and moved to Atlanta with “Robert.” Additionally, her dad was a career military person who

was in “Tina’s” words, a “closet but functioning alcoholic.” Even so, her parents only stopped be-

ing involved in church after her mother became too ill to attend. “Robert’s” family of origin, how-

ever, attended church sporadically and were never heavily involved in a particular religious affil-

iation. This dynamic had a huge influence on how both “Robert” and “Tina” viewed the necessity

to have their family involved in church. Before their son was born, “Tina” would usually attend

church alone because “Robert” never saw the need, and when “Sam” was born, “Tina” would take

him with her. She viewed attending church as a tremendous support system because around the

time their son born, “Robert” experienced a crisis at his place of employment and ultimately was

forced to find another job. It was during that time that “Robert” turned to alcohol to help him

“deal with the stress he was under” and subsequently faced the realization that he was an alco-

holic. For “Tina,” having a church to attend was the only thing that helped her “keep her sanity.”

Despite the tension in their home, “Tina,” because of her strong religious convictions, did not

view divorce as an option. After several tense years, “Robert” became sober and stopped drinking

altogether but was still not involved in church. He was not very involved in raising “Sam” when

he was young because he stated he “had no idea what to do” and that he “felt like a failure” be-

cause of his problems with alcohol. When “Sam” was a teenager, his parents discovered that he

also had a problem with alcohol. They attempted to get him help which “Sam” appeared to accept

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on the surface, but he, like “Robert,” as “Tina” described, “learned how to hide his drinking.” At

this time, no-one but “Tina” was attending church and she admits that “it was more out of habit

and a sense of responsibility to make her mom happy” that she kept going. She states she only

went to worship service on Sunday mornings and that was it. She did not want anyone to know

the problems that her family had so she refused to make connections with others.

When “Sam” was 23, he met “Jessica” and they were married two years later. “Jessica” re-

fused to attend church as she believed that most people who attended church, in her words, “were

hypocrites.” This analysis was based on what she described as “very hurtful treatment” her family

had experienced from her father who had “acted like a Christian by going to church and making

the family go as well” but when “Jessica” was six, her father left her mom and two siblings with

no warning to be with another woman. Because her mother struggled to raise the children, “Jes-

sica” experienced a deeply rooted resentment towards her father and bitterness towards the

church that they had attended because after her father left, “Jessica” stated that the church com-

munity “turned their backs” on her family.

When “Robert” and “Tina” moved back to Chattanooga to take care of her mother, “Sam”

and “Jessica” followed soon after. None of the family was attending church at this time and the

stress of taking care of “Tina’s” mother contributed to “Robert” resuming his previous drinking

habits. The family had been back for six months when I first met them. I had just become Senior

Pastor at ECC and met them during a visit to see “Tina’s” mom since she was unable to leave her

home at this time. Though I continually invited them to attend ECC, none of the family showed

any interest. After her mother died and the funeral had taken place, “Tina” stated to me that she

appreciated everything the church had done for her family but she would call me if they needed

anything further. I understood that she was basically dismissing me and the church and though I

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attempted to remain in contact, I was unable to maintain a relationship with this family, at least

until they walked through the doors of ECC three years later. The circumstances which occurred

leading up to the family’s return to the church and their subsequent return to a relationship with

Christ and the ECC church community is the subject of the following discussion.

NOTE: Though “Tina” has shared much of the information I am about to discuss over the course

of the last few years informally, for the purposes of this project, I interviewed “Tina” as well as

members of her family over the span of several weeks in order to provide a more accurate picture

of the incredible changes that have taken place within “Tina’s” family as it relates to their rela-

tionship within the church community as well as within their family.

FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

“Tina’s” Story - In our first interview, I asked “Tina” to describe the events and circumstances

that led up to her family’s return to ECC. “Tina” explained that the death of her mother had been

a very difficult time for her. She stated that her mother had always been the “glue that held the

family together.” Her mother’s love for the Lord and strong faith had always been a “balancing

force” in “Tina’s” life. However, “Tina” explained that she became very angry with God saying,

“How could the God that my mother loved so much and served all of her life allow her to suffer

like she did?” Likewise, she became very bitter with the church because she did not feel the

church community did enough to help their family in a time of crisis; “I cannot tell you the num-

ber of meals she (her mother) prepared, the number of sick people she sat with, the houses she

cleaned when other people needed help. Yet, only a very few individuals from that church even

bothered to call to see how my mother was doing.” It was evident that “Tina” was very wounded

by the lack of response of the church family to her family’s crisis. Even so, she explained to me

that there was a deep yearning for the type of relationship her mother had with the Lord as well

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with people in the church “like her mother had” when “Tina” was growing up. “My mother re-

ceived joy from helping and serving those around her. Her strength and resilience were some-

thing that I desired but did not think I was capable of achieving. I thought several times about

swallowing my pride and returning to church but I was too embarrassed about what my family

was going through and did not want anyone to know about it. I thought that people would just

talk about us so the best option for me was to just stay at home.” She explained that her father,

her husband and her son were all drinking during this time, making the family situation even

worse. “Sam” and “Jessica” had given birth to “Abbie” but their relationship was very strained

due to “Sam’s” drinking and “Tina” believed that a separation was imminent. She recognized that

her family “was in a tailspin but she did not know how to stop it.” Then, not long after “Tina’s”

mother passed away, “Tina” found herself in the middle of her own health crisis after receiving a

diagnosis of breast cancer. She stated that it was “one of the most devastating times of my life. I

have never known such aloneness. “Robert” and “Sam” drank even more. Daddy’s health began to

decline. I was so sick but I could not rely on my family to be able to help me so I pretty much

dealt with the side effects of my treatment on my own. I often thought of how my mother would

help others during times like this and I so desperately wished there was someone I could call but

I felt as though I had alienated our family when I told you I would call if I needed you and my

pride simply would not let me.” “Tina went on to explain however that it was during some of her

darkest times that she would reach for her mother’s Bible and pour over the scriptures and notes

her mother had made. She stated that it gave her a source of comfort and as the days and weeks

passed, she began to desire a renewed relationship with Christ. She stated that it was after her

treatments had completed and she had been declared cancer free that she knew that she and her

family could not continue on as they had. She told her husband and her son that the one thing she

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wanted more than anything else was to have her family involved in church the way her mother

had been. Though she stated they were reluctant to come, out of respect for her wishes, they all

agreed to come back to ECC with her. “Jessica” was the only hold out as her bitterness towards

the church as well as “Sam” was so deep that she refused to go with the family. She stated that

the first Sunday back, she felt very alienated as only a few people acknowledged their presence

however, but she could also “sense the power of the Holy Spirit working in her…drawing her

back to Him.” She also recognized that for her family to be restored and healed, the answer was

in Christ. She subsequently renewed her commitment to Christ and her resolve to become the

role model to her family that her mother had been to her became her primary focus. She reached

out to “Jessica” and began to share her personal feelings regarding dealing with the problem of

alcoholism in her family and how the Lord was helping her through it and that she believed He

was the only answer. After several weeks, “Jessica” finally agreed to come with the family to

church. Though she was apprehensive about “first of all attending a Pentecostal church because

of the stories she had heard, and second of all because she was not a very social person,” “Tina”

stated that once there, the experience was a very profound one for “Jessica.” Her daughter-in-law

ultimately gave her heart to the Lord and became a prayer partner with “Tina” regarding her fa-

ther’s ,“Robert’s” and “Sam’s” problems with alcohol. Also, both “Sam”and “Jessica” witnessed

the change that being involved in the children’s ministry was having on their daughter and both

of them agreed that this was a very positive thing. It took almost a year, but ultimately “Sam” ac-

cepted Christ and became a believer and stopped drinking immediately. After seeing the change

in”Sam,” “Tina” stated that “Robert became convicted of his drinking and desperately wanted to

stop.” He wanted to find what the rest of his family had discovered in their relationship with

Christ. “Tina” described how “Sam” would witness to his dad, promising him that he would walk

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the journey to sobriety with him. “Tina” explained that seeing the change that was taking place in

the entire family and that where there was once accusations and anger toward his problem, now

the family was reaching out to him with love and concern. “Tina” stated that “Robert” ultimately

made a decision to follow Christ and the family, though not without their struggles, is closer than

they have ever been. She attributes this improvement to first “allowing Christ to take control of

their lives, but second, to the community and support they have discovered within their church

family,” which will be discussed in the section on relationships within the church.

“Robert’s” Story - In my interview with “Robert” the change in his demeanor from the first time

that I met him was drastic. My first encounters with “Robert” when he began to attending church

were with a man who was very guarded and had difficulty making eye contact. He was always

very quiet and would come into service after worship had begun and exit before the altar service

began. However, he was now alert, smiling and confident. He told me that the change that and

taken place within him and his family was “of course from the work of the Holy Spirit, but that

would have never been possible without “Tina’s” and “Sam’s” influence. He described how he

and “Tina” had just “existed for years, married but living more like roommates than a married

couple.” He stated that he knew this was primarily because of his need to “escape from the world

through drinking” but he did not think that he could ever give it up. He explained that he resented

having to leave Atlanta and move to Chattanooga to care for “Tina’s” parents but felt that in order

to stay married to “Tina” he had no choice. He, like “Tina,” had been heavily influenced by

“Tina’s” mother and her strong faith and love for others and the same anger that “Tina” experi-

enced towards God, also existed within “Robert.” He said, “I simply could not wrap my head

around how this could happen to “Tina’s” mother and if this was how God treated people who

loved and served Him, I wanted no part of it.” He stated that before her health had declined that

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“Tina’s” mother always made a point to reach out to him and remind him that Jesus loved him

and so did she. “I would just brush it off, of course,” he said, “but what she said and the love I felt

from her resonated somewhere deep within me.” Yet, “Robert” also could not understand how

“Joe” could live with such a woman and continue to drink and basically assumed that if “Joe”

could not become sober, then neither could he. Additionally, “Robert” felt tremendous guilt over

“Sam’s” drinking. He believed it was his fault that “Sam” was also an alcoholic and viewed him-

self as a failure as a father. He stated, “I wanted to quit, I really did. Not just for “Tina” but

mostly for “Sam.” The alcohol had a hold over me that I did not realize was so controlling. I

thought I could stop whenever I wanted but I could not. I became very good at hiding it, or at

least I thought I was.” Robert went on to explain that when “Tina” became sick, that only made

his drinking worse. “I wanted to be there for her, but I was too weak. I did not want to acknowl-

edge what was happening. I just wanted to escape and drinking helped me to do that, at least for

a while.” He stated that after “Tina” recovered and returned to church, the change hat he observed

in her was nothing less than transformational. He described how being around her made him

more aware of the changes that he also needed to make, but he did not want to give up drinking,

even though he knew he should. He continued to resist until “Sam” and “Jessica” also became be-

lievers and when his son began to plead with him to allow Christ to transform him as He had

“Sam,” he finally began to listen. The day he came to the altar with his family behind him pray-

ing for him was the day he knew that if he had their support and the power of the Holy Spirit, he

could do it. He stated that he stopped drinking and that he has finally begun to have the type of

relationship with his wife and son that he has always wanted to have.

“Sam’s” Story - When I sat down with “Sam,” he was very eager to talk about the changes in his

life and the lives of his family. He described how he was so devastated over his grandmother’s

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illness and ultimately her death. He said that watching her suffer was one of the worst experi-

ences of his life. Then, watching his mom battle cancer was like “someone was ripping his heart

out a bite at the time.” He said, “My mom has always been the one thing I could count on, the

person I looked to for balance. She alway tried to be a positive influence and role model and

even when my dad was basically absent from our lives due to his drinking, she never spoke a

negative word about him to me. She dealt with it all internally, trying to protect me.” Yet, “Sam”

told me how he became very angry at his father for not being there for them and he also turned to

drinking. He said, “I thought what was good for him was good for me too.” Yet ‘Sam” explained

that he did not count on becoming an alcoholic like his father. He tried to hide it from them, es-

pecially his mother, because “Sam” did not want to hurt her like his father had. Even so, he stated

that it did not take long for his mother to discover his problem but he said that even in his darkest

days, “she never stopped loving me or trying to help me.” ‘Sam” also said that he thought meeting

and subsequently marrying “Jessica” would help him stop drinking and for a while it did, but

when they also moved to Chattanooga to help his parents with his grandparents, like his father,

the stress was too much and he began drinking again, leading to increased tension with his wife

as well as his mother. He also told me that the watching his mother beat cancer was one of the

most inspirational things he had ever seen. “Her strength and resolve to beat this thing (cancer)

and be there for all of us was the most courageous thing I had ever thing. There are no limits to

the respect and admiration I have for my mother.” He stated that when she asked him to go to

church with her that he did not want to but consented out of deep sense of wanting to “make her

happy.” “I thought if this is all she is asking me to do, it is the very least I can do, considering all

she has been through.” Sam admitted though that he was not expecting the effect that being in the

presence of the Holy Spirit and the change he saw take place in his mom would have on him. He

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described how he began to believe that he might possibly be able to overcome his alcoholism and

he desperately wanted to be a different father to “Abbie” and husband to “Jessica” than his father

had been to him. He told me that since the day he gave his heart to the Lord, he has never looked

back. He began to earnestly witness to both his wife and to his father. “Sam” states that it was the

change that they both saw in him that finally convinced them that there “might be something to

this Jesus thing.” He said that living in a family where everyone loves the Lord is a new and awe-

some thing and he is so thankful that his mother “paved the way.”

CHURCH RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

“Tina’s” Story- I asked “Tina” if the church community had played a role in the change that had

taken place within her family. She stated that the support she has received from the ECC family

was “something she never expected.” She said, “It’s like nothing is the same as it once was. Peo-

ple are friendly and supportive and they offer assistance to help with my dad. I was terrified that

if everyone learned about the secrets my family was keeping in regards to the drinking that we

would be ostracized. It has been the most awesome thing to see the way our family has been em-

braced.” “Tina” stated that she has become involved in several personal growth programs that are

available at ECC, one of which is called “Moving Beyond Your Past,” which is designed to help

adult children from dysfunctional families process and deal with experiences they may have had

as children that has impacted the way they interact with relationships and life events. She stated

that this program “has been one of the most powerful and life changing classes she has ever

taken and the best part is I have made strong relationships with other women who have gone

through similar things as I have and our support for one another is simply amazing.” She also at-

tributes the marriage enrichment course, “Prepare and Enrich” with helping her and “Robert” deal

with long standing issues that have existed between the two of them. Because she works, she is

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unable to become involved in some of the other ministries of the church as deeply as she would

like but she and “Robert” regularly attend Sunday School, Sunday morning worship and the two

discipleship classes they are involved in. She states that she feels as though she has become a

part of the church community in a manner that she has never experienced before. As a result, she

is vey intentional about reaching out to others, especially people that she knows are new to the

church because she wants them to feel the same love and acceptance that she and her family have

experienced.

Roger’s Story- Roger explains that he was more more reluctant than “Tina” to get involved ini-

tially because he believed that if people knew his “secret” that he would not be accepted. How-

ever, watching “Tina” “blossom,” as “Robert” described it, made him want to give it a chance.

“Tina” continually encouraged him to give people a chance and to join the group “Moving Be-

yond.” He resisted for a while and instead would offer to assist in cooking for outreach events

and attend Sunday School with “Tina” but he ultimately decided to join the class and is glad that

he did. “Seeing the change in “Tina” was enough to convince me that there had to be something

to it. She was so supportive and encouraging and I am beginning to more fully understand why I

had the tendencies to avoid dealing with my problems rather than trying to get help. I am so

thankful that “Tina” pushed us all to get involved.”

“Sam’s” Story - “Sam” stated that at first he was content to just attend worship service. How-

ever, at his mother’s urging, he began to consider ways that he might become more a part of the

church. “Sam” said that he could see the difference that being involved not just in church but

with the people of the church had made in his mom’s life, and then his dad’s, so he decided to

“take a chance.” He told me that he felt before he did that, however, he needed to tell me of his

problems and what the Lord had helped him overcome so that I would be fully aware of his past.

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“Sam” came to me explaining his problem with alcohol and asked me to serve as his accountabil-

ity partner which I readily agreed to. He told me that my understanding and support and willing-

ness to allow him to get involved as a youth mentor was a huge step in him and his wife becom-

ing involved in the inner workings of the church. “Sam” and “Jessica are now both youth leaders

in the church and “Jessica” also is heavily involved in Children’s Ministry as well as serves as

Assistant Director for the summer VBS program. They both state that had “Tina” not served as an

example by demonstrating that in order to move forward and grow, their family had to learn to

trust others, their lives may never have been so drastically changed.

TRANSFORMATIONAL EFFECTS OF ECC ON “ TINA ” AND HER FAMILY

Based on information obtained from the preceding interviews alone demonstrates the re-

markable impact that becoming believers and truly becoming involved in ECC’s church family

have made on “Tina” and her family. The attached socio-gram demonstrates the depth of engage-

ment the entire family has in ministry opportunities, leadership and connectivity within the

church. In addition to the socio-gram, the following discussion will further establish the positive

relationships and outcomes that exist between “Tina’s” family and the church community.

CHURCH INVOLVEMENT

Sunday Morning Worship & Sunday School- “Tina”and her entire family attend Sun-

day morning worship, with “Abbie” attending Children’s Church immediately following corpo-

rate family worship. I observed that during worship, “Tina,” “Robert” and “Tina’s” father, “Joe,”

all sit together while “Sam” and “Jessica” usually sit a couple of rows ahead of them. When I

asked “Tina” about this dynamic, she stated that the family made a conscious decision not to sit

together at church in order to allow each family subset to participate in the service as an intimate

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family. She stated, “We are together seven days a week and it is not that we would have a prob-

lem sitting together, we each simply want to provide as much room as possible for all members

of the family to have a their own family worship experience, as well as a corporate worship ex-

perience.” Also, everyone participates in Sunday School but at different levels. “Tina” and

“Robert” attend an adult Sunday School class while “Sam” and “Jessica” teach the middle-school

age Sunday School class which they both state they love. “Tina” states that Sunday School is one

of her favorite times because it allows her to ask one on one questions and her enthusiasm ap-

pears to have a positive effect on not only “Robert” but other member of the class as well. She in

very involved in the discussion and enjoys the challenge of learning new things. Her participa-

tion encourages other member of the class to join in. “Tina” is also an active worship participant,

while the rest of her family might be a little more reserved. Interestingly, “Jessica,” who was the

most resistant to participating in church, especially a Pentecostal church because what exposure

she had to worship services as a child was in a very liturgical Methodist church, follows “Tina’s”

example and freely worships, though perhaps not as openly as “Tina.” Additionally, both couples

serve on the Communion committee and serve on a rotation of men and women that serve Com-

munion every Sunday. Their commitment level to this ministry has been an example to others

because when they are scheduled to serve, they are always there. “Tina” states that she receives a

“true blessing” by being able to serve others during Communion and feels it is an honor to be al-

lowed to serve. In turn, members of the church community can sense her deep love for Christ but

also for the people of the church as she serves the sacraments and prays with “Robert” over fami-

lies during this time. “Robert” states that this might not normally be his first choice for involve-

ment but by following “Tina’s” lead, he has discovered it to be a mutual blessing for both him

and those that he prays with as well.

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Wednesday Night Discipleship - On Wednesdays, the entire family is once again involved.

“Abbie” attends the Children’s Program, “Jessica” and “Sam” serve as youth leaders and partici-

pate in the student ministry worship service while “Tina” and “Robert” participate in the small

group programs, which will be discussed next. “Sam” states that he never saw himself as a youth

leader which has become one of the most rewarding experiences of his life. The students, like-

wise, respond very positively to “Sam” and “Jessica” and their reliability is a great benefit to the

Student Ministries Pastor.

Small Groups - Both couples have participated in the small group “Art of Marriage,” “Prepare

and Enrich,” as well as “Moving Beyond.” “Tina” states that these ministries have been transfor-

mational for her because they have encouraged her to deal with wounds and issues that she has

buried deep inside for years. She admits that at first she was concerned about participating in

small groups that dealt with such personal information however, she quickly learned that the

course leaders as well as other individuals in the group were all trustworthy, as confidentiality

was the cornerstone of the programs’ successes, but more importantly, they were supportive and

understanding. She told me that she had never been so surprised at the level of concern she had

received from people she initially did not know very well. She and “Robert” attended the mar-

riage groups together but Moving Beyond independently of one another as this facilitated each of

them to have the freedom to share their personal concerns and challenges in an environment

where they would not be inhibited. “Robert” and “Sam” stated that the difference they had ob-

served in “Tina” as she went through these programs was remarkable. The course instructor for

Moving Beyond stated that “Tina’s openness and willingness to trust others in the group with

some of her most personal experiences, has encouraged other individuals to do the same thing

fostering an environment of mutual trust and spiritual growth.”

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Outreach Ministries - The entire family is involved in some level with the various outreach

ministries of ECC. “Sam” and “Robert” assist with the food bank by doing food pick ups once a

week. “Jessica” serves as the Assistant VBS Director and Assistant Health Fair Coordinator.

“Tina” also works on the VBS and Health Fair Committees while both “Sam” and “Robert” help

cook for various events. “Tina” states that being involved in outreach ministries helps her as well

as the rest of her gamily feel as though they are making a difference in the lives of individuals in

the church community as well as the surrounding community.

Functions of the Reciprocating Relationships Between ECC and “ Tina ” and Her Family

The following is an explanation of the four essential functions of reciprocating relation-

ships as evidenced by the interconnection between “Tina” and her family and ECC.

Provision - This function illustrates what is given to the relationship. ECC provides a welcoming

environment with a caring support system of people who care for “Tina” and her family. ECC

also provides training and resources to equip and empower the family to overcome past issues,

both on a familial as well as a spiritual level. “Tina” and her family provide a source of lay per-

son involvement that helps to further the ministry programs already in place as well as a living

testimony to others of the measure of change that can occur within individuals and families alike

when a relationship is established first with Christ but then also with a vibrant church commu-

nity. Also, each adult member of the family also contributes to the financial support of the

church as well as to various ministries within the church.

Protection - The most obvious way that ECC guards families is through the level of trust that

exists between members of the church community. The individuals that attend ECC extend the

love of Christ to all who attend and exists to be a hospital for the hurting. “Tina” and her family

responded dramatically to this intent as they were extremely broken and fractured when they first

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began to attend. “Tina” stated that she felt “safe to be herself” and never “felt pressured to be

someone she was not.” Because of the power of their experience, “Tina” and her family offer the

same type of protection to others who attend regularly as well as those who may be new. By lov-

ing unconditionally and failing to pass judgement on individuals who are may be struggling in

some way, they reciprocate the protection they have received to others within the church com-

munity.

Control - It is difficult to describe the relationship that exists within the ECC community and

“Tina’s” family as one of control. There is order within the leadership structure and program de-

sign and church polity to address items of church business but all participation is voluntary.

Within the family itself, since other than “Abbie” all members are adults, the members of the

family tend to operate out of mutual respect for one another’s feelings and concerns. “Sam” and

“Jessica” acknowledge that “Tina” and “Robert” allow them to live with them rent-free however,

the basement has been remodeled to allow them to have their own apartment and to exist as their

own subfamily within the larger family unit. Everyone contribute to major household projects

and the families also share mealtime together, but according to “Tina,” everyone “marches to the

beat of their own drum.”

Facilitation - ECC helps to guide “Tina” and her family through training, discipleship programs,

small groups involvement and presentation of worship and the Word. Great emphasis is placed

on teaching attenders the importance of loving and caring for others in such a way that they ben-

efit spiritually and emotionally from being there. Also, there is an acknowledgement that no-one

is perfect and everyone has made mistakes. Likewise, by being heavily involved in almost every

area of the church, “Tina” and her family have the ability to impact others and help guide them

through the same processes they have been through themselves. The family’s personal experi-

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ences have given them unique insight into the challenges that families may face and they are the

first to offer assistance to families in crisis or in need.

Conclusion

It has been the intent of this field study to demonstrate the positive impact that a healthy

relationship between the church community, or family of God, and families can have. “Tina’s”

story displays unequivocal evidence that for families who are intentional about their relationship

with Christ and the church, there can exist a mutually beneficial relationship, the effects of which

can be felt by both the church and the family. I do not believe that it has ever been God’s intent

for families to exist outside of the church and a family’s involvement in the life of the church is

critical to successful outcomes for both the church as well as the family.

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