Session 2: The Art of Receiving Play Week 5 Video: https://vimeo.com/117428373 This video can be found using the following link: http://www.artofneighboring.com/6-week-interactive-small-group-study/

Getting Started:

1. What did you take away from the video? What lessons can be applied? Do you struggle with feeling like you might bother people if you ask them for something? Discuss, allow for open sharing

2. Are you good at allowing other people to care for you? What makes it hard? How often do you ask for help from someone outside of your immediate family? Allow for open sharing.Many Christians (and Americans in general) have a tendency toward “paternalism,” the idea that WE have something to offer because we are Christians, but THEY do not because they are not Christians. Paternalism puts one party in the position of power and the other in the position of need. Real relationship requires give and take – nobody with all the power and nobody with all the need. It steals a person’s dignity to force them to always be in the position of need and never receive help from them. We should try to maintain balance as much as possible. If we are always the one in power, we should ask for help. If we are always the one in need, we should realize we have a lot to give to others.

Introduction:

Have you ever had a friendship that felt one-sided? Where you feel that you are doing all the work, where you are constantly on the giving side of the relationship. This can cause frustration and bitterness to take over your relationship, along with a feeling of being used and taken advantage of. As we learn to love our neighbors, we must practice “The Art of Receiving”, by allowing our neighbors to meet some of our needs. No one likes a one-sided relationship, but most people want to be in a community relationship, where there is give and take. Ask: Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? Describe or share a brief story

This week we are going to look at 2 passages of Scripture that will help us understand this better. We will look at 1 Kings 17:1-16 & Luke 7:36-50

Discussion Questions Read 1 Kings 17:3-161. What jumps out at you from this passage? Why didn’t God just provide for Elijah directly? How do you think it felt to have to ask the widow for help? How do you think the widow felt? (Allow for open discussion) Say: This must have been difficult for both of them. God chose this as a way of showing how He was reaching out to those outside of the boundaries of the Jewish people. Jesus refers to this moment in Luke 4:26. It would have been difficult for both of them to make sense of this moment but they both grew to understand more about God and what He is like through this event. 2. In verse 9 God said he commanded the widow to “feed” Elijah, How did this grow Elijah’s faith and the widow’s’faith? Discuss the significance of her obedience. Allow for open sharing, Point out that she only had enough flour for 1 last cake and then was ready to starve to death.

Share this story with the group: There is a story in the book The Art of Neighboring (chapter 8, pg 121), where this couple befriends a single mom in their neighborhood. They made it a point to help her as much as possible. They would shovel their driveway, mow her grass and other things.

One day this couple was putting out mulch and came up a bag short. Heather, the single mom, stopped by and they told her they were getting ready to go the store to get another bag of mulch. Heather had an extra bag in her garage and insisted the couple take the bag. Their first reaction was to say “No”. They didn’t want to take a bag of mulch from a single mom whose money was tight. They eventually said yes,

and realized that “by allowing Heather to give them the bag of mulch, they were allowing her to care for them. They invited her to be a giving participant in their relationship and helped her feel a sense of community.

3. Discuss what it means to “rob” someone of a blessing. Have you ever experienced this, or been robbed of a blessing yourself? Say: In verse 15-16 we see the widow’s obedience on display. She received a blessing for being faithful and her life was changed. The art of neighboring involves our being able to give of our time and energy, and to receive from others. Good neighboring is not about

4. What are your neighbors good at and/or passionate about? How could you enter into their world and allow them to serve you? Our neighbors have a lot to offer and are often willing to offer it if we will humble ourselves and ask. We want to learn how to watch for ways to humble ourselves and give people the joy of serving us.

5. Read Luke 7:36-50, What jumps out at you from this passage? Discuss how this woman became a blessing to Jesus! Say: Sometimes how we allow others to serve us, brings greater joy to them than we get from serving them.

a. In verses 7:44-47, Jesus describes how this woman blesses him. How do you feel the gospel was on display in these verses?

b. Why did Jesus allow her to do this in front of all these people? Say: it was to illustrate how God’s love extends to the most broken, sinful people, not just the religious people who think they have it all together.

c. How are you using everyday situations to help bring people closer to God and His love? Who do you relate to most in this passage. Allow for open sharing. (Small Group Leaders Note: this could open up some real pain for people. Be sensitive and create an atmosphere of safety. The whole purpose for this study is for us to grow in our love for God and to see that love transfer into our neighbors. )

Moving Forward

Again, this is the way you'll close every session and this is the most important part of this study. Manage your time well and resist the temptation to cut this part short!

1. Do the Block Map - Write the names of your neighbors by listing out the names of

the adults and children of the 8 closest houses or apartment units next to you and pay attention to the blank spaces. Note: Hopefully you know more of their names this week Go around and share how many neighbors you know by name and if you have made any progress since the last meeting.

2. Identify one neighbor that you are going to pray for over the next week. Take time to pray in the group for the neighbors that were mentioned.

3. Share one small “next step” that you feel God is calling you to take in the next 7 days.

Options they might choose:~Learn a specific neighbor's name~Invite a couple over for dinner~Ask a neighbor for advice on how to take care of your lawn because their's is nicer ~Have everyone share that step out loud and write them down so that everyone can be praying throughout the week.

Pray and Dismiss