W GREEK AMEeRICAN dd THE iNATIONnAL HERALD • … · tom, handcrafted jewelry. She works in 22, 18, and 14 Ancient Methods for Modern Couples 2 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL

GREEK AMERICAN THE NATIONAL HERALD • FEBRUARY 23, 2013

WeddingsSPECIAL EDITION

The National Herald

www.thenationalherald.comwww.ekirikas.com

By Sophia Stratakis HulingTNH Staff Writer

Have you ever visited a mu-seum, perhaps the Metropolitanin New York or the Benaki inAthens, marveled at the splen-dor of priceless, one-of-a-kindjewelry designed thousands ofyears ago, and fantasized aboutwearing such a piece, especiallyon your wedding day?

Maria-Tina Karamanlakis,owner of Maria-Tina MinoanJewelry™ in San Francisco, Ca.,wondered the same thing when,at the age of 8, she first visitedthe archaeological site of Knos-sos outside Heraklion, Crete, a

tribute to the Minoan civiliza-tion that flourished between3000-1100 B.C.

“When I was eight my par-ents took me to Crete and I sawthe Minoan frescoes and thepalace, and those illustrationsstuck in my mind,” she said.“When I went to New York thefirst time, I went to the Metro-politan and I wanted those an-cient rings that were in thecases.”

But since she couldn’t buythem, she decided to make themherself. For more than 25 years,Karamanlakis has been design-ing and creating original, cus-tom, handcrafted jewelry.

She works in 22, 18, and 14

Ancient Methods for Modern Couples

GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 20132 THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013

Goldsmith Creates Custom JewelryInspired by Prehistoric Designs

The National HeraldA weekly publication of the

NATIONAL HERALD, INC. (ΕΘΝΙΚΟΣ ΚΗΡΥΞ),reporting the news and addressing the issues of paramount interest to the

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Assistant to Publisher, Advertising Veta H. Diamataris Papadopoulos

Special Section Editor Sophia Stratakis Huling

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Greek American Weddings 2013In ancient Greek mythology, the goddess Hera, the wife of

Zeus, was the goddess of marriage. The pomegranate was sa-cred to her. Perhaps that is why the pomegranate is frequentlyused in Greek wedding symbolism.

In this year’s special Weddings insert, we’re bringing yousomething old (historical photos and stories), something new(trends in jewelry, ceremonial accessories, and delectabletreats), and something different: a new kind of destinationwedding – marrying in your grandparents’ village, with yourgrandparents’ customs.

On the spiritual side, we have some excerpts from the classic“Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective” by the late revered scholarJohn Meyendorff.

So whether you’re thinking about tying the knot, wonderinghow things have changed since you have, or are already plan-ning your special day, we hope you enjoy our special issue.

Maria-Tina Karamanlakis at work in the Scintillant Studio in San Francisco.photo courtesy eric hoffhines, chicago, ill.

Sterling silverpomegranatenecklace

A wedding crown used in an Orthodox Christian weddingceremony.

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karat gold, platinum, 24-karatvermeil (sterling silver dippedin 24 karat gold), sterling silver,copper and bronze, some inlaidby hand with precious or semi-precious stones.

Her style is inspired by an-cient museum pieces, primarilyMinoan and Byzantine era goldwork.

With both parents of Greekancestry, and a name ending inthe typically Cretan “-akis,” sheidentified strongly with the Mi-noan culture from a young age.

After further research intothe Minoan civilization, shelearned they “were matriarchal,which means women were inhigh positions, they had themost advanced society of an-

cient prehistoric times, and theyhad 1500 years of peace.”

Karamanlakis fondly remem-bers her grandmother inspiringher creativity as a child, takingher on fabric-buying expedi-tions, sewing her dresses, mak-ing beaded flowers, even sewingelaborate clothes for her Barbiedoll.

She credits her grandmotherwith inspiring her creativitywhen, years later, she beganmaking jewelry after working allday on the computer as agraphic designer.

“It was like my tactile re-lease, you know, but it’s allabout yiayia (grandmother), re-ally,” she said. “I started gettingall that traditional stuff that we

are losing now, as the hand-made from yiayia.”

The Miami, Fla. nativelaunched her jewelry makingbusiness in 2000, to transmit“the message of life and trans-formation and 1500 years ofpeace through the Minoans,”she said.

“My effort is to make it looklike it’s ancient, but incorporatemy own style. Through this jew-elry, this is my interpretation oftheir culture and of their beauty.That’s just something that goesthrough me, that just comes out.When I start working in gold, Ihave an idea and I know what Iwant, and it becomes its own

GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013THE NATIONAL HERALD, FEBRUARY 23, 2013 3

Hand hammered and sculpted Copper Leaf Stefana.

Clockwise from top right, all rings in 22 karat gold: ring with central rutilated quartz stone andtiny rubies; ring with Persian turquoise and ring with encased diamond; life spiral ring withEuropean cut antique diamond; 3-ring set, one with ruby center stone; rosebud ring with pinktourmaline stone and ring with large square pink tourmaline.

Continued on page 4



Weddings are a frequent joy-ful community experience, notonly for Greek-Americans, butfor most cultures throughout hu-man history. Growing up, all myfamily’s relatives and closefriends were Orthodox, so everywedding I attended was a GreekOrthodox ceremony. I witnessedRoman Catholic, Protestant, Jew-ish, or civil ceremonies only ontelevision or in the movies. Oneday, my neighborhood playmatesand I got into a discussion aboutweddings. (We were all younggirls, after all, and dreaming ofour prince charming and the daywhen all eyes would be on us.)They all knew I was Orthodox,and they asked me about our“wedding vows.” “We don’t havewedding vows,” I said, havingwitnessed dozens of couplessilently listen to the prayers, the

chanting, and the readings; ex-change rings, have crowns puton their heads, and processaround the table. Not about tolet a good needling opportunitygo to waste, they challenged me,“Well then, how can they be mar-ried without vows? How do youknow they want to be married ifthey never say ‘I do’?”

I had no answer. Living in asecularized western culture, Idid realize that as Greek Ortho-dox we were “different” fromthe society around us. But I wasnever challenged to defend it sodirectly – and felt defeatedwhen I couldn’t respond.

So I did the only thing Iknew. I asked my mother thesame question: how do weknow all those couples we’vewitnessed get married in the Or-thodox Church actually wantedto be married if they didn’t haveany “say” in the matter?

My mother’s reply seemed

superficial to me at the time.“Well, they’re there, aren’tthey?” she said. “Thanks for anon-answer,” I thought, “theneighborhood kids will suremock me on that one.”

Years later, I appreciated itsprofound meaning. Our westernsociety is based in many wayson Roman legalism. Even ourconcepts of civil and criminallaw are heavily influenced bythe Latin legal system.

This legal ideology extendedinto the western church, andcreated the concept of marriageas a contract between two peo-ple.

And thus it is still ap-proached today in westernChristian and civil marriage.That’s where the vows come in.In order for a contract to bebinding, the parties must bothagree. If they don’t both agree,there is no contract.

But the Orthodox under-

standing of marriage is not con-tractual.

It’s sacramental, mystical.When the crowns are placed onthe couple’s heads, the choir andthe congregation sing, “Lord ourGod, crown them with glory andhonor.” The crowns symbolizethe grace of God coming uponthe couple to unite them in away that goes beyond our hu-man reason. They’re not joinedby their “promise” to one an-other – which can be broken ifone of the parties “defaults” onthe agreement in any way – butby their participating in the full-ness of God’s grace by “beingthere” in the sacrament.

So the next time I witness anOrthodox wedding, whether it’sin Greek, Russian, Arabic, Ro-manian, Albanian, English, oranything else, I won’t wonderabout the vows. I’ll participateby listening, singing along – andjust “being there.”

“How Come You Don’t Say ‘I Do’?”

The crowned bridal couple processes around the wedding tablein the Dance of Isaiah.

thing, so I feel like I’m transfer-ring that Minoan spirit throughme.”

Karamanlakis spent 10 yearsworking in broadcast televisionnews and graphics at CBS, NBC,ABC, Fox, Telemundo, and Uni-vision, winning six Emmyawards for her graphic design.

After a layoff in 2001, how-ever, she enrolled in jewelry andmetal smithing classes, learningto work with a torch and furtherhoning her skills. With the helpand encouragement of friendsand relatives, she built a studioand launched her business.

Karamanlakis’ website andonline boutique unveiled lastfall, www.greekislandhouse.com, contains dozens of heroriginal creations, including awedding collection, that trulylook like they were unearthedfrom an archaeological site.

She uses pure 24 karat gold,creates her own alloy, melts itinto her crucible, and shapes itby hand into rings, bracelets,chains, pendants, earrings, andeven Orthodox Christian wed-ding wreaths (stefana). Many ofthe pieces are hammered into

shape, giving them the ancient-looking character rarely seenoutside museums.

She creates each piece byhand, with the same metal workskills used to hand-sculpt jew-elry for thousands of years. Shemay then add diamonds, rubies,or other precious or semi-pre-cious stones.

Her wedding collection con-tains some spectacular designs,such as a half-inch-wide 22karat solid gold band embell-ished with tiny gold balls, dia-monds, and Persian turquoise.

But every set of weddingrings is custom made for thecouple after a consultation, es-tablishing a price range, and thecouple’s approval of hersketches. She works in a widevariety of price ranges, begin-ning at about $350 for a sterlingsilver band. Every stage of theprocess is clearly spelled out,and Karamanlakis updates hercustomers regularly.

“Generally I take a depositand then I keep them posted.Now with the new phones, ifthey want to, I’ll sent them littlepictures of the progress of thepiece, which is really fun. It’s aninvestment, and it’s an art piece,

and it’s something that they canhand down throughout the fam-ily,” she said.

She has sources for rare an-tique stones over 100 years old,such as a Victorian-era diamondthat she sets inside the gold spi-ral of one of her rings – noprongs needed.

Karamanlakis often uses acustomer’s own stones or gold,as she recently did for a couplewho ordered a pair of weddingbands and a third, larger ringencrusted with a green tourma-line for the wife to wear withher wedding band.

“She’s Asian, so she took allher mother’s old 24-karat goldand we melted it down andmade all three rings from themom’s 24 karat gold, for the guytoo,” she said. “And it was funnybecause the fiancée, she said,‘Oh no, I don’t think he [her fu-ture husband] cares, he justwants a silver band.’ When hesaw that 22-karat gold he said,‘You bet I want one of those!’”

Maria-Tina Minoan Jewelry,San Francisco, CA, Web:www.greekislandhouse.com,Phone: 415-299-1442, E-mail:[email protected]

22 karat goldpomegranatependant with 21pave faceted rubies;an ancient Greeksymbol of fertilityand marriage.

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Ancient Methods for Modern CouplesContinued from page 3

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Maria Laimos grew up in asuburb outside Athens. Hermother was born in the easternAegean island of Chios, nine milesfrom the Turkish coast, and herfather on the tiny neighboring is-land of Oinoussai, which is partof the Chios province. DiamantisLemos’ parents are also de-scended from Oinoussai. Diaman-tis was born and bred in London,where there is a sizeable Oinouss-ian expatriate community.

Oinoussai (also called Eg-noussa) barely registers as a doton the Aegean seascape. There isone inhabited village on the is-land, and the number of those in-habitants has been steadily dimin-ishing in the past few generations,as people have sought jobs andlivelihoods in larger cities, suchas Chios, Athens and abroad. Itsyear-round population is about500, but it swells by the thou-sands in the summer. That iswhen its prodigal sons anddaughters return to the tiny islandfor their vacation, where they canswim in crystalline water, breathesmog-free air, and catch up withchildhood friends and relatives.Most stay in their parents’, grand-parents’ or great-grandparents’homes, since the homes are keptin families for generations. Mariaand Diamantis were among thosethousands whose families vaca-tioned on their ancestral home,and, as often happens, met andfell in love during those visits.

Maria and Diamantis were amodern, educated, cosmopolitancouple with the intention to buildtheir life together in a large city,just as they had always lived. Butwhen it came to planning theirwedding, they realized they hadto reach back to make it mean-ingful, to begin their married lifewhere their roots were.

“We both felt that Oinoussaiwas the place we came from; ourfamilies were from there for manygenerations, we have spent mostof our summers there as children,we had a lot of beautiful memo-ries and friendships that went

back from grandson to father tograndfather to great-grandfather,so it’s a very special place,” Mariasaid. “To get married in a largehotel in Athens didn’t mean muchto us. The common thing was theOinoussian heritage that we bothhad.”

But no one could rememberthe last time the island had seena wedding. Even the people wholived there year-round didn’t wedthere. “The local people would goto Chios to get married or to gosomewhere that’s a bit moreglamorous for them,” Maria said.“All the young people want toleave the island, to go somewhereelse, because it’s quite claustro-phobic. Especially when you livethere all year round, you want to

go someplace else to have yourspecial day, which would eitherbe Athens or Chios for them.”

So when Maria and Diamantisapproached the local priest to askhim to marry them, he couldn’tbelieve his ears.

“The priest, dear man, said tous, ‘Everybody’s coming here fortheir funeral, but nobody’s com-ing here to get married, so to meit’s such a great pleasure,’” Mariaremembered. “So for us, living inLondon and Athens to actually goback to the island to have a wed-ding, for him it was quite anevent.”

As it had happened for hisgrandfather and great-grandfa-ther, Diamanti’s wedding day be-gan when his extended family

and friends arrived at his grand-father’s house, where he was stay-ing, to sing the age-old weddingsongs to him. A small local bandof traditional instruments (violin,oud, clarinet) arrived to play thewedding syrtos (the name of anisland dance) outside his door.When Diamantis, his family, andhis friends came out, the band ledthe procession to Maria’s grand-father’s house, where she waspreparing herself with her fam-ily.

“That was very touching;everyone was very moved, be-cause it was something different,and special,” Maria said. “Theystopped outside my house, andthen I came out, and my fathergave me to Diamantis and to hisfamily. Everybody was very emo-tional, because it was very tradi-tional, and it had not been seenbefore. It was nice, because theinstruments and the traditionalOinoussian music adds to thewhole atmosphere. It was like theparty had already started, in away. There were lots of tears andlots of emotions, because we livein a time that we don’t experiencethat anymore.”

After Maria’s father gave herto her bridegroom, the couplewalked together toward thechurch, followed by everyoneelse. “We walked together intothe church, and that’s how thesacrament began,” she remem-bered.

The ceremony concluded,everyone walked down to themain village square, where theglendi (celebration) was open tothe entire village. “It was like anopen wedding, like the old days,when the wedding would takeplace in the main square of thevillage, a big party, and whoeverwas there was welcome to comeand join,” said Maria. Her motherremembered the rousing glendilasting all night, until 5 the fol-lowing morning. “It moves me toremember it,” she said, her voicebreaking slightly.

“It’s a very grounding experi-ence, I find, and very humblingas well,” Maria said. “It doesn’tmatter if you’ve made it in life, orif you’ve left your homeland andgrown up elsewhere, or gone toschools that are not Greek, as itwas for Diamantis. But despite allthat, he felt that at the end, ‘thisis where I belong.’ It was a state-ment for him, and for me, to ac-tually choose Oinoussai.”

Old World Wedding for a New Generation in OinoussaiCouple Returns toTheir AncestralHome to Wed

A band of musicians performs outside a groom’s house, waitingto accompany him to pick up his bride, according to Greek vil-lage tradition

St. Nicholas Church, the centerpiece of the main village ofOinoussai island, where Diamantis and Maria were married

A view of the village of Oinoussai as the wedding party andguests descended from the church to the square for the glendi,at dusk

A bride and groom process toward the church for their wed-ding, accompanied by their families and guests

Led by the band of musicians, a bridal party ascends the narrowpaths of a village on its way to church for the ceremony.



Candles, wedding wreathesand boubounieres are just a fewof the Orthodox Christian wed-ding essentials Stavroula Pap-pas-Rodgers of Huntington, N.Y.creates -- to order -- for coupleslooking for that unique touchthat can’t be found on a webcatalog or in a shop carrying as-sembly-line merchandise.

A former surgical nurse, Pap-pas-Rogers describes herself asa “multi-tasker.” She began abusiness about seven years ago,creating boubounieres, thesmall bunch of koufeta (candy-covered almonds) wrapped intulle or tied in delicate fabricthat are a mainstay of everyGreek Orthodox wedding. Thekoufeta symbolize the bitternessand sweetness of the marriedlife the couple is about to enter.

But she is also a trained floraldesigner and can create justabout any style of weddingcrown, lampada (large candlesor torches), and even baptismalpin for when baby time arrives.She can help with baptismalclothes, and wedding crowncases for preserving your pre-cious memories. And she canpinch-hit as an event planner,working with some of the morepopular reception halls in theLong Island area.

“I contract out all the ven-dors, they all know my work,they know me by first name andthey know what I’m capable of,”she said. “And I do everythingfrom soup to nuts. If I have tohem a hem on a bride, I’ll doit.”

For the bride and groomlooking for someone who cannavigate the waters of an Or-thodox Christian wedding, Pap-

pas-Rogers fits the bill. She doesmore than make pretty weddingfavors; she knows, for example,that the koufeta must always bepackaged in an odd number.This symbolizes that the mar-riage bond can never be split intwo, because Christ is the thirdParty in the marriage, and, asthe ceremony states, “What Godhas joined together, let no manseparate.”

“God is the one that is thedifference between the couple,that’s why it’s never an evennumber, it’s always an odd num-ber,” she said. “There are alwaysthree people in the marriage; itcan never be divided in two.That’s why there’s only one Godand there’s one extra (koufeto);that’s God.”

Traditionally in Greece, theboubounieres are distributed tothe guests outside the church bythe koumbaroi (best manand/or maid or matron ofhonor) to the guests, signifyingthat they have witnessed themarriage sacrament. But in ourhigh-octane modern Americansociety, some invited guestsdon’t make it to the church. Inorder to accommodate thoseguests, the boubounieres havebeen presented for the past sev-eral years at the reception, to-gether with a favor, or smallboxed gift that guests find attheir table.

“What I tend to do is guide[the brides] first to pick the gift,then match up a décor thatmatches the size of the box, andthen attaching the boubounierato the box,” she said.

Pappas-Rogers has seenboubounieres styles span a widerange. Some people just wantthe basic, plain tulle wrapping;others want to elaborate withmonograms, Swarovski crystals,broaches, and buckles. For herniece’s wedding five years ago,Pappas-Rogers put a rhinestonebroach on her boubouniera.

The guiding principle of 3Angels Gifts, she said, is that it’sall about the sacrament, andabove all, staying within thebudget.

“Everybody gets caught up inthese programs that are on thetelevision where you get thiselaborate wedding for free. Thatdoes not exist,” she said. “Asacrament is a sacrament. Andif you believe what you’re doing,it doesn’t matter in the end ifyou’re wearing a gold crown ora tin crown. It’s the sacrament

that’s being performed. So to meit doesn’t play the biggest roleas to how big of an event it is,but that it’s done in accordancewith what’s needed, what’s ap-propriate, and what’s in thebudget.”

The highlight of the GreekOrthodox wedding ceremony isthe crowning of the couple withtwo wreaths joined by a ribbon.The stefana (wreaths or crowns)are traditionally purchased bythe koumbaroi. The styles seemto be limited only by one’s imag-ination: Pappas-Rogers has cre-ated crowns with silk, silver orgold-spun thread; silver or goldplating, and sterling silver.

“They can come with accen-tuations of flowers, fresh-waterpearls, crystals, rhinestones, sil-ver leafing.” Crystal comes ei-ther clear or champagne-col-ored. “We went from thetraditional look of the porcelainflowers on the stefana withbaby’s breath with a little bit ofpearling to it, to adding rhine-stones within the buds of theflowers of the stefana, intertwin-ing crystals, freshwater pearls,cords, and Greco-Roman leafing(metallic laurel leafing).”

She is no stranger to floraldesign, either; if you want yourwedding candles to match yourreception centerpieces, she canrecreate them in silk.

“I work in conjunction witha florist, but I am also trainedwith fresh flowers. So when youdiscuss with me what flowersyou want on your lampades(candles), you’re talking to aperson who’s also a floral de-signer. What my couples do issend a picture of their center-piece and I knock it off in silk,”she said.

Pappas-Rogers said she’smaintained friendships withmany of her clients. “When Itake part in anybody’s wedding,or anybody’s christening, wemaintain a friendship, and it’sas if I’m there performing thesacrament with you,” she said.“I enjoy what I do. This is a pas-sion.”

While still working as a nurseat Mount Sinai Hospital in NewYork, N.Y. and pregnant withher second child, Pappas-Rogerscontracted cancer. She under-went a mastectomy andchemotherapy during her preg-nancy. When her baby was born,she named her Antonia Zoe(“zoe” is the Greek word for“life.”). Antonia Zoe is 12 years

old now, and Pappas-Rogers isstill going strong.

“When things happen to youand God still doesn’t take you,it’s because you have to stay;there’s still something thatneeds to be done,” she said.

Every Holy Friday, Pappas-

Rogers decorates the Epitafios(Funeral Bier of Christ) at herchurch, St. Paraskevi in Green-lawn, N.Y. “The Epitafios is mygive-back,” she said.

3 Angels Gifts, Huntington,N.Y. Phone: 631-425-2476. Byappointment only.

3 Angel Gifts: More Than Candied Almonds in Tulle

A wedding candle design covered with silk roses and soft latexcalla lilies, metallic laurel leaves, and draped with tulle. “Thelaurel is the Greek touch,” says Pappas-Rogers.

Some of 3 Angels Gifts creations: A set of free-standing weddingcandles, with French lace covering the body of the candlesdotted with Swarovski crystals, pearls and sequins, and drapedwith swags of raw silk cuffed with rhinestone broaching.

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TNH Staff

Most couples who choose tohave music at their wedding cel-ebration will probably followthe custom of the “first dance,”the magical moment when theydance their very first dance to-gether as man and wife. It’s amoment that will never be re-peated. Choose carefully, keep-ing your own and your partner’spreferences in mind. Some liketo make grand entrance, takelessons and really put on a showfor their guests. Others preferto keep it low-key (=low stress;after all, planning a weddingcan be taxing enough!). Stillothers are influenced by the lat-est popular ballads: for exam-ple, in 1998 many first dancesused “My Heart Will Go On”from “Titanic” (despite the factthat it was a farewell to a deadlover!)

We checked in with somecouples who have been marrieda few years to ask what songthey chose, and why. Most ofthem are appropriate for thosewith limited dancing skills, whodon’t want the extra stress of re-membering dance steps on theirwedding day; but for those whowant to make it extra special,these choices are adaptable toreal dance steps as well. Readon and be inspired.AT LAST, sung by Etta JamesToday, it may seem like it’s

been done to death, but in1998, it was not the popularchestnut it is today said onemale reader who was marriedthat year.

“My wedding song was abluesy song, very heartfelt,” hesaid. “But the song I chose wassung by a woman who wentthrough a rough patch in herlife, and it correlated to therough patch that I had had. Ithought there was a sense oftimelessness to it.”

He went on to describe thefirst time he ever slow-dancedwith the woman who becamehis wife. He had invited her overand made dinner for her, andthey slow-danced to Etta James’“At Last.”

After he proposed and thecouple began planning theirwedding, he said he told his fi-ancée he wanted that to be theirsong. “The poor thing, shestarted crying,” he remembered.“As soon as we came out and Istarted dancing with my wife,

what you wound up hearingwere gasps (from the guests),”he said. “People started tying upstreamers together and tossingthem at us.”

In 1998, he remembered, themost popular first-dance songwas “My Heart Will Go On,” be-cause the film “Titanic” was themost popular movie that year.But he doesn’t advise choosinga song based on its popularityduring the year of your wedding

“Don’t pick a song that’s go-ing to say, ‘Oh, your wedding

correlates to a time of year orto a movie,” he said. “The mostpopular song was from ‘Titanic.’Nice song, but does it really cap-ture what’s going on betweenyou?” ENDLESS LOVE, sung by Li-

onel Ritchie and Diana Ross“We just felt that with Christ,

our love is endless,” said onewoman of the song she and herhusband chose at their early1980s wedding. “His love is inour relationship; He’s the reasonwe came together.”MOONLIGHT SERENADE,

played by the Glenn Miller Or-chestra

Here’s an option for thosewho want an instrumental tune,one with no lyrics, and a trulytimeless classic. The reader whochose to dance to this with herhusband in 1995 said she choseit because there were no words.

“We wanted something with-out lyrics,” she said. “Song lyricsare often so hackneyed, and

they lose their meaning.” That made sense to us here

at TNH. It’s a rare song thattruly captures the fullness ofwhat is truly personal and inti-mate between two people. Aninstrumental tune keeps the fo-cus on the two of you, withoutthe distraction of words andwhether they actually corre-spond to your unique experi-ence.EMBRACEABLE YOU, music

and lyrics by George and IraGershwin

Married in 1997, this was acouple who both loved jazz, es-pecially the jazz of the 1920sand 1930s, which is danceableand tuneful compared with thelater jazz of the 1950s and1960s.

The wife in particular (aswives often do) wanted some-thing romantic. She had herheart set on Gershwin, who haswritten some of the loveliest andmost romantic melodies of the20th century, and felt it reflectedtheir shared love of jazz andclassic songwriting.

They considered “The Man ILove,” “Our Love is Here toStay,” “Bess, You Is My WomanNow,” (from “Porgy and Bess”)but finally agreed on “Embrace-able You” – gentle, romantic, butnot overly dramatic.

GREEK POPULAR BALLADSIn more recent years, some

Greek-American couples havebeen known to choose romanticballads that are popular inGreece today, such as “MaziSou” (With You) sung by NikosVertis, “Ola se Sena ta Vrika” (IFound Everything in You), sungby Giannis Ploutarchos, “EhoTrelathei Mazi Sou” (I’ve GoneMad With You) sung by GiorgosMais, and “Emeina Edo” (IStayed Here) sung by SteliosRokkos.

For more advice on how tochoose the first song you willdance to, consider these tips:

1. What music inspires you?Listen to a few different songsand pay attention to how theyaffect you.

2. If you choose a song withlyrics, make sure you read allthe lyrics to the song, so you aresure the words represent yourfeelings about your relationship.Don’t end up with a break-upsong like “I Will Always LoveYou” or “Every Breath You Take”which sounds romantic but isactually a stalking song!

3. Try “The Knot” weddingplanning website for ideas. It or-ganizes couples’ personalitiesinto to seven types, which canhelp you choose an appropriatemusic genre that agrees withyour image and level of senti-mentality.

4. Don’t just pick whatever ismost popular at the moment.Your relationship is unique; yoursong should be too! Choosesomething that has some specialsignificance for you.

How to Choose the Right First Dance for the Two of You

Marriage is practiced byChristians and non-Christiansalike, by atheists, by generationsof human beings who neverheard what the word “sacra-ment” means. Man is born, getsmarried, begets children, anddies. These are the laws of na-ture which God established andblessed; but marriage particu-larly is singled out by theChurch. The very special bless-ing which it bestows upon theman and the woman who getmarried is called a “sacrament”(in Greek, “mysterion,” or “mys-tery”). Why?

The very notion of marriageas a sacrament (=mystery) pre-supposes that man is not only abeing with physiological, psy-chological, and social functions,but that he is a citizen of God’sKingdom, i.e., that his entire life– and especially its most deci-sive moments – involves eternalvalues and God Himself.

It is impossible to understandeither the New Testament doc-trine on marriage, or the veryconsistent practice of the Ortho-dox Church, without seeingChristian marriage in the con-text of the Eucharist (DivineLiturgy).

Actually, the “eucharistic” un-derstanding of marriage clearlyillustrates what is the essentialChristian claim for man – an im-age of God, destined to partici-pation in divine life itself. (AsSt. Athanasius of Alexandria fa-mously put it, “God becameman, so that man may becomeGod.”) Christian marriage is alsoan expression of this.

In the New Testament, a to-tally new concept of marriageis being introduced: it is directlydependent upon the “GoodNews” of the Resurrectionwhich was brought by Christ. AChristian is called -- already inthis world -- to experience newlife, to become a citizen in theKingdom; and he can do so inmarriage. But then marriageceases to be either a simple sat-isfaction of temporal naturalurges, or a means for securingan illusory survival through pos-terity. It is a unique union of twobeings in love, two beings whocan transcend their own human-ity and thus be united not only“with each other” but also “inChrist.”

THE EARLY CHURCH AND ROMAN LAW

The fact that marriage was

conceived, in Roman law, as anagreement between two freeparties implied a substantial so-cial progress, if compared to theconcepts prevailing in other an-cient civilizations. It providedthe legal framework for the totalemancipation of women andtheir legal equality to men.

The Christian Church, bothat the time of persecution andduring its alliance with the Ro-man State, accepted the Romanlaws regulating marriage. Evenwhen Christianity became theprevailing State religion (of theRoman Empire), the ancient de-finitions of marriage as “con-tract” continued to be acceptedin State laws and even in theecclesiastical laws.

Every Christian couple desir-ing to marry went through theformalities of civil registration,which gave it validity in secularsociety. Then, through their jointparticipation in the regular Sun-day liturgy, in the presence ofthe entire local Christian com-munity, they received theBishop’s blessing. It was thenthat their civil agreement alsobecame “sacrament,” with eter-nal value, transcending theirearthly lives because it was also“inscribed in heaven” (Tertul-lian, 2nd century) and not onlyin a secular registry. It becamean eternal union in Christ.

WEDDING AS A SEPARATE RITE

(Editor’s note: The Orthodoxwedding ceremony as we knowit today took centuries to de-velop. We will attempt here tosummarize Rev. Meyendorff’saccount of its history and devel-opment, occasionally paraphras-ing for clarification.)

Beginning in the fourth cen-tury, a specific solemnization ofthe sacrament is mentioned byChristian writers: a rite of“crowning” performed duringthe Divine Liturgy. According toSt. John Chrysostom (who livedin that period), the crowns sym-bolize victory over “passions.”

From a letter of St. Theodorethe Studite in the ninth century,we learn that the crowning wasaccompanied by a brief prayerread “before the whole people”at the Sunday liturgy, by thebishop or priest. This prayer isstill part of the wedding cere-mony we use today. However,not all Christian couples wererequired by the church to par-ticipate in this crowning rite.

Some couples merely asked forthe blessing of the bishop duringthe liturgy, as they did beforethe crowning rite was initiated.

In the 10th century, Byzan-tine Emperor Leo VI passed adecree that a marriage betweentwo free citizens must be sanc-tioned by a Church ceremony –separate from its former contextin the Liturgy -- in order to beconsidered legal. Even beforethis decree there was a closeconnection between Church andState, but this was the first timethe Church was asked to deter-mine the legal status of mar-riages. As a result of this newsocial responsibility the Churchreceived, the distinction be-tween the “secular” (marriage

as a contract in human society)and the “sacred” (marriage as asacrament in the Kingdom ofGod) was partially obliterated.The Church was forced to blessmarriages which it did not ap-prove, and even to grant di-vorces. In 906, Leo Vi forced theChurch to grant him a fourthmarriage – something which theChurch, under normal circum-stances, could not bless.

Slaves were exempt from thislaw – especially since the sepa-rate crowning ceremony was anadded expense. But in the 11thcentury, Emperor Alexis I Com-nenos made it a legal obligationfor slaves as well.

The new responsibility givento the Church by these laws re-

quired new liturgical forms sep-arate from the Divine Liturgy. Inthe 10th and 11th centuries, theChurch in Byzantium developedthe marriage ceremony weknow today, which isactually two services:a betrothal and acrowning. They can,and often have been,celebrated separately.

BETROTHALThe betrothal ser-

vice is the new formof a marriage con-tract, with its ex-change of rings as a“pledge.” However,the rings are notmerely a pledge ofmutual faithfulnessbetween the couple, but as theprayers reflect, they are a sym-bol of God’s faithfulness to manthroughout history and of Hisblessing and support to the cou-ple. It involves not only thebridal pair, but God Himself,and is the marriage contract asthe Church understands it.

CROWNINGThis is the section that was

originally part of the DivineLiturgy. The original purpose ofthe crowns, as St. John Chrysos-tom said back in the fourth cen-tury, was as a symbol of victoryover unregulated passions,which bring about corruptionand death. The crowns also area sign of glorification; the hymnthat is sung as the crowns areplaced is “O Lord our God,crown them with glory andhonor.” Finally, the crowns rep-

resent the reward which is givento those who fight the goodfight to the end of their life.They are a reminder that theChristian marriage requires thecouple to accept the Gospel ofChrist and bear His Cross in or-der to participate in His victoryin the age to come.

The scripture reading fromEphesians 5 compares the mar-riage between the man andwoman to the relationship be-tween Christ and the Church;and the Gospel reading fromJohn 2 tells the story of Jesus’attendance at a wedding, whichwas also the site of His first pub-lic miracle, emphasizing that byHis presence, He blesses mar-riage as a whole.

The common cup is a rem-nant of marriage in the earlychurch, when couples would re-ceive Holy Communion to-gether. Today it merely signifiestheir entry into a shared life andresponsibility.

The service ends with the

“Dance of Isaiah,” or a proces-sion around the table uponwhich the Gospel book and aCross are placed. The priestleads the couple around thetable three times, the circle rep-resenting eternity and that theirlife together will revolve aroundChrist. The hymns sung duringthe procession summarize theBiblical content of Christianmarriage, which is called to bea “witness” to the Kingdom ofGod. Another reference tocrowns is made also: “O HolyMartyrs, who have fought thegood fight and have receivedyour crowns, entreat the Lordthat He will have mercy on oursouls.”

Excerpts from “Marriage: AnOrthodox Perspective” By Rev.John Meyendorff (St. Vladimir’sSeminary Press, 1984)


“A Unique Union of Two Beings In Love”

The Orthodox icon of Jesus (far left) performing His first miracle at the wedding in Cana, byturning water into wine at the request of His mother (sitting next to Him). The account isrecorded in John 2:1-11, which is read at every Orthodox wedding ceremony.

Their right hands are joined and the bridal couple holds litcandles to symbolize they are inviting the Light of Christ toguide their lives. With their crowning complete, they drink outof the common cup, a sign of their shared life and destiny.

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TNH Staff

We caught up with PeterStavrianidis, principal owner ofVenus Jewelers in Somerset,N.J., who is the fourth genera-tion in his family of jewelers.His grandfather and great-grandfather were jewelers inAthens, his father had a store inAstoria, Queens, N.Y., andStavrianidis has been in Somer-set for 34 years. We chattedwith him about some of the lat-est trends and tips for dia-monds, engagement rings, andwhat to look for when makinga major jewelry purchase.

Q: Let’s talk engagementrings. Do you usually get thegrooms coming in alone, or thecouple together?

It could be either/or. Thepast few years, we’ve seen a lotof guys taking the initiative tocome in. Some of them have afew clues; some of them comequite prepared with pictures;some of them come completelyunprepared, but I would say themajority come in pretty wellprepared to make a purchase,which was not the case yearsago. It seems that the guys thesedays take a lot of time to do re-search on the diamond. Theyusually come with pictures, ora good idea of the setting.

Q: How would you advise aman coming in to purchasesomething on his own, to sur-prise his fiancée?

To get as many clues as pos-sible. Especially sometimeswhen they’re close to a jewelrystore, or to a mall, if he wantsto keep it a surprise, he can askher indirectly, that “if you wereto receive an engagement ring,which one would you go for,”something like this. And get asmuch information as possible.Now as far as the center stone,the diamond, is concerned, usu-ally they do have some kind ofa hint if the lady likes the roundstone, the princess cut, or thecushion. Sometimes they justmake a choice, they make thedecision if they don’t have anyinformation.

Q: What categories shouldone look for in a diamond?

The shape of the diamond,the size of the diamond, and thequality of the diamond: theseare the three categories. Theshape would be number one.Usually number 2 and 3, it’s theguy that makes the decision thathe’s going to get that size and

that quality. Size matters, butthe quality matters even more.But I would say the shape isnumber one, whether it be a

round brilliant, a pear shape (al-though that is not that commonthese days), a princess, a cush-ion, an Asscher, any of those.

Q: What is the most com-

monly requested shape?The round. It’s the most bril-

liant, it’s the most popular, it’sthe most resistant to trends.Other shapes come and go, butthe round remains very strongalways. It’s followed by theprincess, the cushion cut, theAsscher cut, and the radiant cut.But the most popular is by farthe round.

Q: What kinds of trends haveyou seen come and go in en-gagement rings?

Up until the ‘70s and ‘80s,yellow gold was the primaryprecious metal that was used.Come the ‘90s, the trend was towhite metals, either white gold

or platinum. You can see today

that probably 99 percent of theengagement rings that are beingsold are in white metal. So that’sa major change of trend. Be-cause platinum was more avail-able; but again, not too manypeople could afford platinum,so another alternative was whitegold, which looks just as good,but it’s not as expensive. Sowhite metal became very promi-nent; and fine diamonds lookbetter in white gold as opposedto yellow gold. At this point, it’spretty much established thatwhite metal is the metal to gowith.

We are selling not just aproduct or a service; we are par-

ticipating in people celebratinglife, celebrating their relation-ship, celebrating their love. Wehave different designer collec-tions; I also have my own col-lection under the name of PeterSamson, which is my a.k.a., andthis is a collection of originalpieces, one of a kind.

We’re direct importers of di-amonds. I personally go over-seas to the diamond centers ofthe world, where the diamondsare being traded, especially inAntwerp, Belgium, and I selectsome of the finest diamonds onthe planet. Antwerp is probablythe biggest trading center; NewYork is a trading center as well.We definitely are connectedwith New York, but I also go theextra mile, directly to the sourceto get the most value and thebest, brightest diamonds.

We’re very well known forour custom designs. Peoplecome in, we will create an itemjust according to their taste, ac-cording to their dreams. We willcreate a piece that is going tobe completely theirs. We have aportfolio, so when somebodycomes in, we’ll sit down andwe’ll draw something for themwhile they wait. People willcome in and show us a picturefrom a magazine, and they willask us to do something similarto that. Not only will we do it,but we’ll do it for much lessercost.

Q: There has been talk overthe years that the reason for thehigh prices of diamonds is thecartel in Africa in the mines, andthat there is not a free competi-tion. Do you have any commenton that?

That’s not the case anymore.What makes a diamond so pre-cious is because first of all, ittakes hundreds of millions ofyears to be created in the gutsof the earth, and then the min-ing is a very long process, verylabor-intensive, and finallywhen the rough comes out, ittakes a few very experiencedpeople to cut the diamond andto polish it and to make it whatit is. It has nothing to do withthe cartel. It has to do with theprocess, and that’s why the an-cient Greeks named the dia-mond “adamas” which means“adamastos,” which in Englishis “adamant,” in other words,“unconquerable,” “invincible,”because it has such power. Soall of the above contribute tothe value.

All That Glitters: Diamond Q & A

Rainbow colored pearls for bridesmaids gifts

This traditional wedding son is sung to the bride, by her girlfriends and family, as she is dressing:

Today a wedding, today a wedding is happeningIn a beautiful orchard, in a beautiful orchard

Today is being parted, today is being partedThe mother from the daughter, the mother from the daughter

Bridegroom, the bride, the bride you must loveDo not scold her, do not scold her

Like the basil, like the basil plant in the earthYou will delight in her, you will delight in her

Arise, proud, arise, proud eagleAnd open your wings, and open your wings

So she may fly, so the partridge may flyThat you have in your arms, that you have in your arms.

Diamond wedding bands

Diamond studs, popular wedding gifts for brides

Verragio designer engagement rings, with their signature detailand unique scrolling accents


LEFT: A bride and groom in late 19th-century Macedoniadressed in their traditional wedding costumes. ABOVE LEFT: A couple weds outdoors, circa 1930. By this time,Greek bridal couples had already begun adopting the westernwhite Victorian wedding gowns and suits.

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Generations of Rural Greek Weddings

ABOVE: A village wedding,likely set in the 1960s fromthe clothes worn by theyounger women and thebrides’s hairstyle (parted inthe middle). Nevertheless,some remnants of the oldworld remain.

RIGHT: A traditional wed-ding bed, decorated with thebride’s “dowry,” which in-

cludes hand-made bed linens

The pomegranate, an ancientGreek wedding symbol ofmarriage and fertility, wasconsidered sacred to the god-dess Hera, the goddess ofwomen and marriage.

A Greek wedding set in Levissi, Asia Minor, now abandoned andknown as Kayaköy, prior to the 1922 Asia Minor Catastrophe.

TNH Staff Writers

A conversation with ReginaKatopodis, who has owned Ar-topolis Bakery in Astoria since2003, revealed that althoughher wedding cakes are amongthe most sought-after in cos-mopolitan New York City, theGreek neighborhood bakerymaintains its community roots.And those reach all the wayacross the Atlantic to thekitchens of ordinary Greekhomemakers. Read on for a funconversation with the colorfulbaker and café owner whosefans include the Turkish consulto New York!

Q: What’s your approach tocreating a wedding cake?

For all my wedding cakes, Isit down with the bride andgroom. I find out their lovestory, I find what they like, whatthey don’t like. Some groomslike to take charge of the cake,some mother-in-laws like totake charge of the cake, some-times the bride comes in by her-self. The most important thingis that always the cake is the re-flection of the young couple. Orold couple. I never let themleave unless they’re happy withthe look of the cake -- and that'show most of our customersleave.

A while ago I had a pregnantbride, and she wanted a preg-nant bride on the top of hercake. It took a lot of work, but Ifound one! So we try to accom-modate everyone.

Q: What are the most popu-lar flavors people ask for?

I would say most of them in-

volve some kind of chocolate. Ijust took an order the other day,just as an example, a weddingcake and a baptism together.They were getting married firstand then christening their baby.One cake had to complementthe other. We had a tasting, theybrought their mother and theirfather and everybody tasted, butit came down to the bride andgroom. The groom loved choco-late and the bride loved fruit.So what we did was a chocolatetruffle, which is a chocolatesponge, chocolate mousse andchocolate ganache, and we putfresh raspberries in the mousse,and we put together the tastethat they both loved. But Iwould say 90 percent of my cou-ples want some sort of choco-late.

Q: What kinds of trends haveyou seen in the past couple ofyears?

Well, the trend definitely isa smaller wedding. Of coursethe cake is the centerpiece, sowhether you’re getting marriedin a restaurant or a cateringhall, it’s all the same to us. Wetake the same care and try tomake it exactly the way theywant it. But I notice, instead ofhaving a cake for 350 people,the average now is up to 100.Some do 50. You know, asmaller wedding.

Q: About how many of yourbridal parties are Greek?

I would say as of now, maybe60 percent.

Q: And do they also ask forthe additional Greek delicacies,like the kourambiedes…?

Oh yes. In fact, among the

Greek crowd, I would say morethat than the wedding cake.They have to have their Greekdelicacies on the table, youknow, platters.

Q: So you get more requestsfor those than for actual cakes,among the Greeks?

Right. You get mixed mar-riages, the bride is Greek andthe groom isn’t, or the groom isGreek and bride isn’t, they haveto have the flavors of Greece oneach table, and they do theamygdalota, the minibaklavadakia, kourambiedes,diples, that type of thing.

Q: I know you’ve only beenhere since 2003, but seems likeyou’ve been here forever.

A lot of people ask how longhave you been here, I say 9years, and they say “That’s all?”They do. But you know I thinkalso what plays a role is we gotright into it, and all our recipesare not Artopolis recipes.They’re not recipes that werenew. These recipes have beentaken out of people’s homes inGreece, so like I almost feel likewe’re an embassy for the Greekhousewife.

Q: So the recipes that youuse are not all recipes that youyourself have created?

Oh no, they’re not. Our melo-makarona are from Mitilini, ourkourambiedes are Kyria Roza’sfrom Volos, the rice pudding ismy mother-in-law’s; everythinghas come out of somebody’shome. And that’s why I thinkmaybe people think we’ve beenhere longer than we have, be-cause not much has changed.We’ve taken these old-fashioned

recipes and we just keep them.The greatest compliment to meis when a housewife comes inand says, “Oh, I was so busy thisyear, I didn’t have time to makemy koulourakia,” and they buythem from us. There’s not acommercial feel in here.

The tsourekia recipe is fromKonstantinoupoli. I think therecipe dates back to 1700-some-

thing, and we put mastiha andmahlepi in our tsourekia. In fact,the Turkish consulate comes tomy store and buys the tsoureki.He says, “Not even in Turkeycan I find a tsoureki like this.”He’s in here three times a week.He comes all the way to Asto-ria.

Q:That is really a testament.Even for our orange

koulourakia, we buy the orangenectar from Greece and put itin, because that’s the waythey’re made. That’s how de-tailed we get. Our mini baklava,we import sheep’s milk fromGreece and then we clarify ithere. We change nothing. We goto great pains to keep every-thing as authentic as it possiblycan be.


A Cake – or a Greek Delicacy – for All Seasons

Kourambiedes and other Greek delicacies are among the bakery’s most popular items for Greekweddings.

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KOYFETA HATZIGIANNAKITHE BEST FROM GREECE

In many flavors: choco, almond, champagne, strawberry, coconut, lemon, orange.

The best choise for your WEDDINGand all other occasions.

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For weddings or baptisms, Artopolis can provide the award-winning Hatzigiannakis koufeta,considered the best in the world. The almonds inside are covered with a thin layer of chocolateunder the sugar coating. They are available in many flavors, including orange (a favorite ofGreek brides), lemon, champagne, coconut, watermelon, and tiramisu, among others. The flatones contain no almonds, but only solid Belgian chocolate. The tradition is to use only whitekoufeta for weddings, but Katopodis sees some brides mix in colored koufeta to match theirbridal colors. “At some of the bridal shows, even the Italians come over to our booth for theHatzigiannakis koufeta,” Katopodis said.


Documents

W GREEK AMEeRICAN dd THE iNATIONnAL HERALD • … · tom, handcrafted jewelry. She works in 22, 18, and 14 Ancient Methods for Modern Couples 2 GREEK AMERICAN WEDDINGS 2013 THE NATIONAL