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1999 W Downer Place, Ste 102 • Aurora, IL 60506Email: [email protected] • (630)801-7777
IT’S TAX TIMEMAXIMIZE YOUR
(630)801-7777Bob Kovanic
CALL TODAYTO SET UP ANAPPOINTMENT
Accurate Tax FilingsE-File for faster returns
December 18, 2019 Volume 14, Issue 7
Amusing Stories • Jokes • Puzzles • TriviaCommunity Events and Coupons
Distribution on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of each monthFor Advertising: Michelle Brokop (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected]
FREETAKE ONE
Download your FREE copy today at: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com
““TThhee HHaappppiieesstt LL ii tt tt llee PPaappeerr IInn TToowwnn””KANE & KENDALL COUNTIES
If you are age 7 - 107. . . Enjoy Your FREE Copy Of The Orange Peel Gazette
Federally Licensed Firearm Dealer •$25 FFL Transfers
COINS • CURRENCY GOLD • SILVER
FIREARMS JEWELRY
630-365-9700630-365-9700Kane County Coins
BUYING & SELLING
Plenty ofUnique Gift
IdeasStop in Today ~
111 N Main Street (Rt 47)• Elburn www.kanecountycoins.com
Free Appraisals
Cash for the Holidays
AcceptingE SCRAP
• Aluminum • Brass • Copper • Stainless Steel • Steel • Iron• Insulated Wire • Batteries • Aluminum Cans• Siding 336 East Sullivan •Aurora
M - F 7:30 - 4:30Sat 7:00 - 12:30
STATE CERTIFIED SCALESCONTAINER & TRUCKING SERVICES
TOP CASH PAID for
Ferrous & Non-Ferrous
Metals
Ecology Tech Inc
630-844-3344www.ssmetalrecyclers2.com
1 Block E. of Rt 25 on Sullivan
Since 1988
OORANGERANGE PPEELEEL GGAZETTEAZETTE
· Kitchenette with full-size refrigerator, Microwave and coffee machine in each room!
· Free Parking · Free Internet/WiFi· Free Cable TV
201 Smoke Tree Lane N. Aurora, IL • (I-88 Exit IL-31)
(331)205-1700
Weekly & Contractor Ratesavailable
ReserveTODAY
Buy - Sell - Trade
All Makes & Models
Happy Holidaysfrom your friends
at
Lessons from aCHRISTMAS TREE
• Share your gifts• Bring joy to others
• Be a light in the darkness
• We all fall over sometimes
• You were born tosparkle...even if your
garland’s a little droopy• It’s ok to be a little
tilted.
My goals for 2020is to accomplish the goals of 2019, which Ishould have done in 2018, because I made a
promise in 2017, and planned in 2016.
There are 7
more days until Chri stmas.
So, guys, that means you still have 6 more days
til you need to start shopping,
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 2
Excludes maintenance. May not be c Expires 1/31/19
ONLY $99ANY DRAIN CLEARED PROFESSIONALLY CLEAN ANY DRAIN
INSIDE YOUR HOME. REGULARLY $195
$100 OffPURCHASE OF A WATER HEATER
OR WATER CONDITIONING SYSTEMFREE ESTIMATES
$100 OffBACK UP SUMP PUMPSYSTEM INSTALLED
FREE ESTIMATES
SERVICE NOW PLUMBING SERVICE NOW PLUMBING SERVICE NOW PLUMBING
ASK OUR PLUMBER ABOUT OUR EPA FRIENDLY DRAIN MAINTENANCEASK OUR PLUMBER ABOUT OUR EPA FRIENDLY DRAIN MAINTENANCE
630-262-8484
Coupon must be presented at time of purchase. Cannot be combined with anyother offer. Some restrictions may apply.Expires 1/30/20
Coupon must be presented at time of purchase. Cannot be combined with anyother offer. Some restrictions may apply.Expires 1/30/20
Coupon must be presented at time of purchase. Cannot be combined with anyother offer. Some restrictions may apply.Expires 1/30/20
815-756-9019 • 1-800-832-2489
BE PREPARED FOR THE SNOW
M.A.R.S., Inc.Starters - AlternatorsStarters - Alternators
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We can increase voltage & amperage at low rpm
on most vehicles
100% New Motorsfor Snow Plows & Salt Spreaders
Coming Soon...Classes to Educate & Empower Women
Pretty Strong is about acceptance.Women Helping Women.
Visit ourCoffee Bar to relax & chat.
It’s Our Time To Soar!
Order Online at:
A portion of all profits will be used to help women in need in the local community.1924 McDonald Rd • S Elgin • 847-728-8880
www.prettystrongshop.com
Gift Shop for Empowering Women
Walking to School You probably know of those "walking to school"
stories ... I walked to school each day, 5 miles, uphill,both ways, barefoot, in the snow .....
Well, when I was a kid, I really did walk 10 miles toschool every day, sometimes in the rain or snow. Man,did I feel stupid when I found out there was a bus.
Captured Thief One day we saw a news report on TV about the
owner of a craft shop and one of her employees whohad apprehended a would-be thief and held him captive until police arrived to arrest him. As we listened to the story, my grandson
commented dryly, "What did they do? Hold him atneedlepoint?"
Galaxies The New York Times, among other papers, has
published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxiescolliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but withthe vastly improved resolution provided by the HubbleSpace Telescope, you can actually see the lawyersrushing to the scene...
TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 3
Put My 17 Years' Experience Doing Chapter 7s to Work for YOU!
Chapter 7 Bankruptcy
David J. Howard, Attorney at LawA Debt Relief Agency
522 N. Lake St., Aurora IL 60506Phone 630.844.9546 Fax 630.896.9367
OOnnllyy $$880000..0000++ CCoossttss(Costs are usually $335.00 Filing Fee, $50.00 Credit
Report, $100.00 Before & After Classes)Total = $1285.00 out the door for typical consumer cases
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Se Habla Español
24/7 SAME DAY SERVICE
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• Steel & Wood Doors • Remotes/Operators•Springs/Rollers/Cables/Tracks
SALES - SERVICE - INSTALLATION On All Makes & Models
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•Free Estimates •Insured •Warranty
630-859-1177 • 169 S. Lake St (rt 31) • aurora
Looking for your basket cases...
I’LL BUY YoUr UNFINISheDProJecT car
• muscle car • roadster• hot rod • Pick-up
• rides from 1930-40’s
SCHOMER’S CARSMistletoe
The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at abunch of mistletoe hanging above the luggage check-incenter.
Turning to the attendant, he said, "Okay, I give up.Why is the mistletoe hanging there above the luggagescale?"
The attendant said, "So you can kiss your luggagegood-bye."
Quotes to make you Smile•"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his incometax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."Arthur C. Clarke •"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, butwhat you want is someone who will take the bus withyou when the limo breaks down." Oprah Winfrey •"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart andcools the sting. William Arthur Ward •"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx •"You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're afriend. Edgar A. Guest •"So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get theworld infected!" Russel H. Conwell •"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’tmind, it doesn’t matter." Mark Twain •"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, butfor using them." Elbert Hubbard •"If you don't understand how a woman could bothlove her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at thesame time, then you were probably an only child." Linda Sunshine
•"Do not listen to those who weep and complain, fortheir disease is contagious." Og Mandino
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ANTIQUE - CLASSIC - SPECIAL INTEREST AUTOS
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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 4
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New Fathers A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the
hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and
said, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours beforehe did!"
Paid in Full A woman was getting swamped with calls from
strangers. The reason? A billing service had launchedan 800 number that was identical to hers. When shecalled to complain, she was told to get a new number.
"I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded."Couldn't you change yours?"
The company refused, so she said, "Fine. From nowon, I'm going to tell everyone who calls that their bill ispaid in full."
The company got a new number the next day.
Don’t annoy me this week, because if you do... I will give your number to all the kids and
tell them it’s Santa’s Hotline.
Pirates Two pirates are talking. One has a wooden leg, a
hook, and an eye patch. How'd you get that wooden leg, mate? Ay, it got bit off by a varmit shark. How'd you get that metal hook? Lost 'er in a sword fight . . . guy cut off me bloody
hand. How'd you get that eye patch? Well, I was up in the crows nest and I looked up to
spy this seagull. The dang thing got me right in theeye!
Well, how'd THAT make you blind? Arr, it was the first day I had me hook!
On th_ Fl[m\_[u Riv_r15 mil_s W. of Fifi_l^, WI off Hwy 70
• Bar • Restaurant• Cabin Rentals • Shower House
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WE SELL NON-ETHANOLPREMIUM GASOLINE
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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 5
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W_ S_ll R_fur\ish_^ B[n^ Instrum_ntsB[n^ Instrum_nts
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in]lu^ing Trump_ts, Trom\on_s, Cl[rin_ts [n^ Flut_s.
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500 B[n^ Instrum_nts For S[l_• Emerson Flute $100 • Armstrong Flute $200• Bundy Flute $200• Gemeinhardt Flute $200
• King Trombone $125• Jupiter Trigger Trombone $950• Bach Strad Trigger Trombone $999
• Buffet Clarinet B-12 $275• Artley Clarinet $150• Artley Wood Clarinet $395• Bessen Trumpet $275
• King Cornet $120• Bundy Cornet $175
• Bundy Piccolo (like new) $425
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Rates starting at$30 per issue
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Your AdHere!
Foot Snuggle On a chilly winter evening, a husband and wife
were snuggled together on the floor watching television. During a commercial break, he reached overand gave her foot a gentle squeeze.
"Mmmmm," she said. "That's so sweet." "Actually," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought that
was the remote."
Crayons Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home
from kindergarten every day since he started a monthago. Each day his mother admired the pictures andhung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black andbrowns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and notwanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to achild psychologist.
The psychologist delicately went to work. He gaveLittle Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the testscontinued. Yet everyday, Little Johnny continued tobring home drawings in only blacks and browns.
Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of theproblem and fearful that something was terribly wrong,the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnnysome paper and a box of crayons and observe whathappened.
Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said,"Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we onlyhave old boxes. The only ones left in mine are blackand brown!"
Scrimping and Saving After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told
his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally savedenough money to buy what we started saving for in1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."
FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286
All Answers Can Be Found Throughout The Ads
Appearing In This Issue Of The ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
ACROSS1. Buy Here! _____ Here!4. Emerson _____7. jf_____lifting.com9. Shotguns, _____ relics11. _____ Weatherspoon, Broker12. Color, _____, Perms, Gift Shop
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 6
The Orange Peel Gazette is distributed by over 400 businesses throughoutKane & Kendall Counties including various...
Marie DeMaria Real Estate Broker
Trust... Service...Priceless!
EXCELS
663300--556677--33330000With a minimumpurchase of $10
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1700 S. Douglas RdMontgomery • 630-892-1100
$5 Match Play Gaming Coupon
(1) per customer, per visitNot to be used with any other offer.
Come Play atGrandma’s!
Open ‘til Midnight
Family Restaurant
May’s Piano Tuning & RepairJim MayCertified Tuner & Technician
[email protected] • 217-369-7946
630-851-0375
I crack myself up!
DOWN2. nuisance _____ removal3. _____ Manufacturing Facility5. state certified _____6. www.a_____mart.com8. www.AAA_____Cleanouts.com10. Deep tissue & _____
On New Years Eve, I’m gonna order a pizza
five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say
I ordered this a year ago.
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 7
WWEE’’RREE HHIIRRIINNGG!!Machine Operators • Assembly Line Workers
(2nd & 3rd Shift)• Shift Differential •Cost of Living Adjustment
• Performance Based Incentive/Avg. hourly rate of $22.00
All positions offer: • Medical/Dental/Vision Insurance • 401K
Main: 630-232-4270Nancy: 630-262-5816
or Apply on-line at: www.clarios.com/jobs330000 SS.. GGlleennggaarr rryy DDrr iivvee •• GGeenneevvaa,, IILL 6600113344
CLARIOS - GENEVA, ILLINOIS BATTERY MANUFACTURING FACILITY IS HIRING:
Call:
Expressions For Women On High Stress Days
•Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. •Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. •I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood
for 30 years. •Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
•I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
•Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
•I can't remember if I'm the good twinor the evil one.
•Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Refrigerator A woman went to her psychiatrist and said, "Doctor,
I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he'sa refrigerator."
"That's not so bad," said the doctor. "It's a ratherharmless complex."
"Well, maybe," replied the lady. "But he sleeps withhis mouth open and the light keeps me awake."
Want to appear in the next issue of the
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTECall Today! (815)751-1286
THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
LYMEDISEASE?GERMBUSTERS®
Call Dr. Bob Lyme Specialists
847-741-4376
1710 N. Randall • ElginWWW.GERMBUSTERS.COM
LYMEDISEASE?
35 Unique ShopsUnder One RoofHOURS: Tues - Sat 10-5Thurs 10-8, Sunday 11-5
701 N. State St. (Rt 31) Elgin, IL 60123
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Enjoy the day at theLARGEST
GIFT & ANTIQUEShop in The Fox Valley
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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 8
Mom's Request of SantaDear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned,and cuddled my two children on demand, sold 62cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shadetree on the school playground, and figured out how toattach nine patches onto my daughter's Girl Scout sashwith staples and a glue gun.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmas, since I had to write this letter withmy son's red crayon on the back of a receipt in thelaundry room between cycles, and who knows whenI'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day ofchasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze,but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler outof the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like awaist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventhmonth of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radiothat only plays adult music; and a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals.
On the practical side, I could use a talking daughterdoll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parentalconfidence, along with one potty-trained toddler andtwo kids who don't fight.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb myhair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating foodwarmer than room temperature without it being servedin a Styrofoam container. And if you don't mind, Icould also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing andmy son saw my feet under the laundry room door. Ithink he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and help yourself to cookies on the table, but please don'teat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.Yours Always, Mom
NUISANCE ANIMAL REMOVAL
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Angvick Antique Motors
(847)287-4413 • Oldmotorsguy.com [email protected]• PO Box 7 • Burlington, IL 60109
Specializing in vehicles manufactured prior to 1940BUY • SELL • RESTORE • REPAIR
• BUY YOUR ANTIQUE CAR• SELL YOUR ANTIQUE CAR
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Thinking about selling in the Spring market?NOW is the time to prepare!
Call me. . . I'm here to help!
Becky SmithYour Realtor For Life
Cell: [email protected]
www.beckysmith.bairdwarner.com
Brian’s Pro Shop & Hobby1211 S. 4th Street ▪ DeKalb, IL ▪ (815)758-4801
HoursMon - Fri
5:30pm to 8:30pm Sat 11am - 4pm
Open Sunday Dec 15 & 22
This Christmas...Shop where Santa shopsfor Model Car Kits, Diecast Cars,
Rockets, HO Scale Slot Cars and more.
www.BriansProShopAndHobby.com
OPEN CHRISTMAS EVE
11AM - 4PM
THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
Plasma Biological ServicesEarn Over $400 This Month
by Donating Plasma!!
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We are Open 6 Days a Week for Your Convenience Call for more information (847)531-8185
Mon-Thurs 7am - 6pm • Fri 7am - 4pm • Sat 8am - 3pm
1166 N. McLean Blvd.Elgin, IL 60123
Phone: 847-531-8185Located Just North of Big Timber Road
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCONNECTING CUSTOMERS AND BUSINESSES. . .THAT’S WHAT WE DO BEST! • PAGE 9
TUFFY AUTO SERVICE1555 US Hwy 34Oswego, IL 60543
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815.436.1337
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TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”
Refrigerator A woman went to her psychiatrist and said, "Doctor,
I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he'sa refrigerator."
"That's not so bad," said the doctor. "It's a ratherharmless complex."
"Well, maybe," replied the lady. "But he sleeps withhis mouth open and the light keeps me awake."
Ulterior Motive Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to
carve the meat -- or worse yet, to watch the host carvewhile commenting on the surgeon's occupation. At oneparty, a surgeon friend was watching the carving whileHarry, his host, kept up a running commentary: "Howam I doing, doc? How do you like that technique? I'dmake a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"
When the host finished and the slices of meat layneatly on the serving platter, the surgeon spoke up:"Anybody can take them apart, Harry. Now lets seeyou put them back together again."
Q: What three words have the MOST letters?
A: The Post Office
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 10
Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!Who Wants To Be A Zillionaire?
The GeneralKnowledge Quiz 24
FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286
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Pistols, Rifles, Shotguns, Military Relics
guns Wanted for Auction
Call Randy at 815.790.9435Federally Licensed Firearms Dealer
DonleyAUCTIONS
Call Randy at815.790.9435Federally Licensed Firearms Dealer
Feel better the natural way!@]upun]tur_\y Lin^[
663300--448888--66224433132 N. Main St • Elburnacupuncturebylinda.com
Linda A. OsterLicensed Acupuncturist Oriental Medicine
Painted Shut?
Weights Dropped?
(847)697-1974 Call Mark
WINDOWROPER R
opes Torn?
Pulle
y’s S
tuck
?
$824,000 Question...In which country did draughts (checkers) originate?A) Turkey B) EnglandC) Egypt D) China
$825,000 Question...What is the worlds most popular green vegetable?A) lettuce B) brocolliC) green beans D) bananas
$826,000 Question...What other name is used for the snow leopard?A) Ounce B) BadgerC) Kitty D) Owl
$827,000 Question...Who invented the first safety razor in 1895?A) Norellco B) GilletteC) Bic D) Gibson
$828,000 Question...A spunder or drift is the name for a group of what animals?A) chickens B) swineC) turtles D) cows
$829,000 Question...On oometer measures what?A) shoe size B) birds eggs C) chicken feet D) clouds
$830,000 Question...What did table tennis balls used to be made from?A) cotton B) stringC) acorns D) cork
$831,000 Question...Which playing card is called the Curse of Scotland?A) Ace of hearts B) Nine of diamondsC) Ace of spades D) Jack of clubs
(Answers below - See you next issue)
Answers: $824 - C; $825 - A; $826 - A; $827 - B; $828 - B; $829 - B; $830 - D; $831 - B.
Humor In Old AgeThere were these two elderly people living in a
Florida mobile home park - he was a widower and shea widow. They had known one another fora number of years. Now, one evening there was acommunity supper in the big activity center. Thesetwo were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring
glances at her and finally gathered up his courage toask her, "Will you marry me?"After about six seconds of 'careful consideration',
she answered - "Yes. Yes, I will."The meal ended and with a few more pleasant
exchanges they went to their respective places.Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes'
or did she say 'no'?"He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just
could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didn't remember aswell as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovelyevening past. As he gained a little more courage, hethen inquired of her, "When I asked if you wouldmarry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes,yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
Then she continued, "And I am so glad that youcalled, because I couldn't remember who had askedme."
She's New To FootballA guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.
Afterward he asked her how she liked the game."I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were
killing each other for 25 cents," she said."What do you mean?" he asked."Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter
back!'"
Sign in a tailoring shop:“If your pants have an iron deficiency --
we’ll press them for you.”
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 11
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AMERICAN LEGION POST 57820 N. LIBERTY STREET • ELGIN, IL 60120
OPEN TO THE PUBLIC10AM - CLOSE
Video Gaming: 10am - Close • Full Bar: Sunday - Saturday
Monday Night: queen of Hearts Drawing at 8pm & sales during regular hours
Thursday Night Lightning: Starts at 6pmHamburger Night: Thursdays 5:30pm - 7:30pmSpaghetti Night: 2nd Wednesday 5pm - 7pmLunch: Wednesday - Friday 11:30am - 1pmFish Fry Night: Fridays 4pm - 7pmBreakfast: 2nd Sunday 9am - Noon
The American Legion is 100 years strong and looking for another 100 years of service to our veterans, our community and our Nation.
Come and visit our Post home.
(Except Mother’s Day & Easter when Buffets are offered and Father’s Day with Eggs to Order)
Fri^[y Sun^[yBingo Bingo7 - 10pm 1:30 - 5pm
(Card Sales start at 6pm) (Card sales start at 12:30pm)
Veterans Benefit Days
4th Friday of Month 9:30am - 2pmno appointment needed
Hall Rental: Call (847) 741-1669 or (847) 741-1684
Forgiveness Early in their marriage, my Dad did something
really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. Heapologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my Mom mentionedwhat he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said oneday, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thoughtyour policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forgetwhat I've forgiven and forgotten."
Spaghetti is the stringy food you wind around your fork and then drop in your lap.
The Speaker A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He
gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours. Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says; "I'm
sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home." A voice from the back of the room says, "There's a
calendar behind you."
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 12
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Sherlock and the IRS A stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being
audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.
Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must havebeen a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
"Why would you say that?" replied the broker. "Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three
returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."
• Middle age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling to us, one saying, “Why not?”
and the other saying, “Why bother?”
TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”
Justspent 15
minutessearchingfor myphone in my car.
Whileusing myphone as a
flashlight
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 13
THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
ElbuEElElbElburElburn LiElburnElburn Elburn LElburn LionElburn LioElburn Lions BElburn LionsElburn Lions Elburn Lions BingElburn Lions BiElburn Lions BinElburn Lions BingoElburn Lions Bingo
Doors open at 5:00pm Early Bird Bingo at
6:30pm Regular Bingo at 7:00pm Split the Pot Raffles Progressive Pot Raffles
Pull Tabs Food and Beverages for
purchase You must be 18 years of
age or older to play
Elburn Lions Club 500 Filmore Street Elburn, IL 60119
630-365-6315 www.elburnlions.com
Bingo License #B-04001 | Pull Tab License #P-01921
(815) 827-3051
Visit our Gift Shop
for Cards, Home Decor
& Gifts Galore!
PEG’S ON MAIN
210 MAIN STREET • MAPLE PARK
Happy Holidays!from
FULL SERVICE HAIR SALONFOR MEN & WOMAN
COLOR - CUTS - PERMS - GIFT SHOP
Welcome Home provides people who have moved with useful community information and FREE gifts from localmerchants: all to help you become familiar with the area.
Call or Text For a Visit -Batavia • North Aurora • Batavia/Mill Creek
Jennifer Zack • 630-229-2001
Moved Recently?We would enjoy meeting you!
- www.welcomehomebatavia.com -
PINBALL MACHINESCOIN OPERATEDARCADE GAMESDART MACHINES
IN HOME REPAIRSBUY & SELL
HOME AMUSEMENTS(630)742-2472
Just A Small MistakeA minister and lawyer were chatting at a party."What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?"
the minister asked."Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant,"
replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example. The other day I meant tosay 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Haircuts All AroundA man and a little boy entered a barbershop
together. After the man received the full treatment -shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed theboy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wearfor the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the manstill hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like yourdaddy's forgotten all about you.""That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just
walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on,son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
Getting His Act Together“Doctor, now that I’m going to marry Susan,
there’s one thing I want to get off my chest.”“What’s that young man?”“A tatooed heart with the name Mary on it.”
Ithink
somethingis
missing in my life. . .
like. . .UM. . . 2 or 3milliondollars
THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
Hetts Auto SalesLooking for a quality usedvehicle? All our vehicles aresafety inspected, have a
carfax report and many arepriced in the
$3000 - $9000 range. View our inventory at
www.hettsautosales.comHetts Auto Sales is locatedin downtown Oswego by theR/R tracks, “Our mission isto give you a pleasurablebuying experience” and remember owner, Ed and son, Matt are your friends
in the car business.Hetts Auto Sales
69 W. Washington St. (Rt 34)Oswego, IL 60543
630-554-9339www.hettsautosales.com
_______________
CASH PAIDWWII, WWI
Military uniforms,photos, swords, medals,patches, helmets, posters,souvenirs, estate items,older firearms, collector
630-215-3664_______________
Garage Doors by CurtSales and ServiceWe Sell CHI DoorsLift Master Openers
(630)276-3453
BUYING
AUTOMOTIVE
The Right GuyCarpet Cleaning, Inc
Certified Cleaning for CarpetTile/Grout, Area Rugs, Upholstery, RV’s
Residential/Business/Rentalswww.TRGCarpetCleaning.comFor Reviews & Pics • 19yrs Exp.630-264-4369 Free Estimates
CARPET CLEANING
GARAGE DOORS
EGGS FOR SALE
AL’S ELECTRIC(Semi Retired, but not Tired)
Licensed • 45 yrs ExpJust Call Al (630)514-6569
ELECTRICAL
Ed & Judie’s Chicken EggFarm: Self Service6S260 Hankes Rd
Aurora (630)907-0775
$125 Mixed Face Cord$150 Oak Face CordFree Delivery/Stacked630-907-0775 Ed
FIREWOOD
OPG - CLASSIFIED ADS & BUSINESS DIRECTORY$13.50 FOR 4 LINES (2 ISSUE MINIMUM) • CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286 • PAGE 14
HANDYMAN-NAILS-ITHome Improve/Rpr/Mainthandyman-nails-it.com
(630) 360-3039
Glass Repair & ReplacementBroken window/door Repair
224-228-1000Classic Glass and Glazing
GLASS REPAIR
HELP WANTED
Cash for Record AlbumsRock • Jazz • Blues
St. Charles 206-432-1682
Painting - Ceramic TileElectrical - PlumbingSOFT DESIGNS
847-274-8347________________
HANDYMAN
FOR SALE
Gary’s Painting & Handyman (630)409-1701$25/hour local
$27/hour long distance_______________
HOUSE CLEANING
Veronica & Audelia’sHouse Cleaning Services
630-506-2895630-935-5287
The Orange Peel Gazette islooking for individuals todistribute our happy little
paper in S. Elgin, St Charles,Geneva areas. 2 days/month
Flexible time/hoursCall 815-751-1286
Blown in Attic Insulationand removal + other services
Insured; 25 years Exp.Floyd (331)228-0191________________
INSULATION
Batavia, Sugar Grove, St. Charles & Woodridge office & warehouse space for lease, from 1,500sq ft to 12,000sq ft. For info Call Don 630-330-7637or Sarah 630-318-2341
INDUSTRIALSPACE FOR RENT
Do A Plan B /Work HomeFT/PT-Pro's&Travel AgentsEARN As You Learn/Easy
Call: 888 648 3030_______________
HELP WANTED
MAINTENANCE PERSONSeeking dependable
qualified person to prepareand maintain rental units inAurora. Some duties include
painting, plumbing & carpentry. GEORGE
PEARCE COMPANIES 630-486-3220
________________
Manufacturing Companyseeks Full Time Punch PressOperators. Wages based onexperience, if none, willtrain. Call 630-466-1150
for an interview
Set of 11 Chicago CubsHawthorne Village lighted buildings, 1990 Bartop Arcade machine,
Bell Pay telphone; works. Antique Batttery Toys224-508-5383 leave msg
Craftsman Mechanics Toolbox, 2-tier box,
loaded with quality tools$450 (630)309-1473_______________
15 1/2” Railroad Steam Engine Bell and Harp $3000
leave msg 630-235-8716_______________
Mfg. Co. seeks QA/QCInspector; We are looking for
an inspector who can perform First Piece, In-Process and Final
Inspection. Requirements:Blueprint reading skills.
Proficiency using inspectionequipment (ie; caliper, micrometer, height gage,comparator, etc) MicrosoftOffice (word, excel, email)computer skills. Inspectionequipment calibration skillsand first article knowledge.Call 630-466-1150 for an
interview._______________
Are you open-minded? Areyou interested in makingsome extra money? Makethe cracks in your schedulework for you! Text “FREE”to: 630-675-7102 along withyour name and contact info.
INVESTING
WANTEDRON’S QUALITY PAINTINGInterior - ExteriorAffordable & Clean
Over 25 years experienceFree Estimates - Insured
(847)489-9907_______________
Band Instruments: Cellos Open Hole Flutes, Trumpets
Double French Horns, Saxophones (847)951-7098
_______________
AGUAS REMODELINGAll Kinds of Repairs;Electrical - Walls
Bathrooms - KitchensPainting
Habla Espanol(847)809-1102 Jesus
J & L BUILDERSHandyman ServiceBasement Finishing
Kitchen & Bath RemodelingYour Complete RemodelingService. Free Estimates
(630)334-1322J-LBUILDERS/facebook
_______________
Wiltse’s Landscaping &Lawn Care
Lawns, cleanups & mulching fertilizing & weed control,
pruning, planting, residential & commercial
hardscapes - (815) 508-7502_______________
TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”
Bill’s Custom ServicesInterior/Exterior
Painting & Drywall Etc.Wallpaper hanging/removalOver 20 Years ExperienceFree Estimates/Insured
Now Offering Carpet Cleaning(815)482-4155
_______________
LAWN CARE SPECIALAerate $35 (48”Gate)Fertilizer $59 (0-10,000)Overseed Free with A & FBeautiful Lawn & Tree Care
630-585-0221_______________
LAWN CARE
ROOM FOR RENT
Lanza Masonry Inc.Brick, Stone, Blocks
Tuck Pointing847-833-3384
MASONRY
Baker’s Window CleaningResidential/Commercial
(630)854-7716(630)273-2010
WINDOW CLEANING
Above & Beyond Paintingby Stuart; Interior - ExteriorPainting and Remodeling;Professional Insured Clean;Over 35 years experience;No job too big or small....Call today for free estimate;Mary 331-251-5766 or Brian 630-709-8470
Look for us on Facebook andtwitter @Above & Beyond
Painting by Stuart_______________
TREE SERVICES &BOOM TRUCK SERVICESANDEL SERVICES, INCTree Cutting, Trimming,Stump Grinding, Chipping,
Haul AwayCall the office or text cell forestimate. Se Habla EspañolOffice: 630 566 0210Cell: 630 675 7102
Guns and Military for Upcoming Auctions;Single Item or Entire Collection. Call Randy
Donley for No-ObligationChat. Donley Auctions
815.790.9435_______________
REMODELING
OPG - CLASSIFIED ADS & BUSINESS DIRECTORY$13.50 FOR 4 LINES (2 ISSUE MINIMUM) • CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286 • PAGE 15
Next Issue Ad DeadlineJanuary 8** December 23
**January issues will be the 2nd and 4th
Wednesday of the monthTo appear in the next issue of the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE
contact Michelle at (815)751-1286
VINNY’S PLUMBINGNo job too small!
Call us for all your plumbingneeds. Main lines, powerrodding, hot water heater,bathroom remodeling, newconstruction, frozen pipes,faucets, garbage disposals Licensed &Bonded 058-176546
Call 630-392-0429
PLUMBING
Trees are dormant in Winter,BUT Arbor Joe is NOT!
Call ISA Certified ArboristJoe (224) 789 - 8773. www.ArborJoe.com________________
Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable.Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories
and jokes appearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to disrespect or harm any
group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to be considered as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel
Gazette for products or services offered.
TREE SERVICE
MOVING
Two Men and A TrailerSmall to Medium Moves
Clean Outs/Buy & SellReasonable Rates - Elburn
630-918-5554 Big KenCall Mon - Fri after 5 or anytime weekends
Sleeping Room Available$125 weekly; Clean & quiet near bike trail 331-250-6311
_______________
RENTALWANTED
Looking to rent; small farmhouse or mother-in-lawapartment with garage/shed.
Contact Arborist Joe224.789.8773
MASSAGEAN AMAZING MASSAGENew customer $10 OFF
40 Terry Dr. Sugar Grove ILCall 630-538-9592
INVESTING PAINTING
Have 401(k) questions?Let’s talk.
Don Oblazney, Financial AdvisorEdward Jones(630) 551-0625
REMODELING
LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE ON JANUARY 8, 2020
ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 16
$75 OffHumidification
System
$100 OffWHOLE HOUSEDUCT & DRYERVENT CLEANING
$500 OffDeluxe System
Free Estimates.Payment Plans Available*
630-262-8484
Remember to support all of our fine local businesses that have found our paper to
be a proven and effective way to advertise to the local community.
As 2019 draws to a close, we would like to thank all
who have made our success possible.
We wish you every happiness and may all good things be yours in the upcoming year.
OORANGERANGE PPEELEEL GGAZETTEAZETTE
Shauna Weatherspoon, Broker(414)507-SOLD Cell
7653
Make your next move, your BEST move!!
1311 S. Route 59 • [email protected]
www.shaunaweatherspoon. johngreenrealtor.com
(630)820-6500 office
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrappingpaper tube is still a fun thing to
bonk someone on the head with.School Theater
Billy's father picked him up from school to takehim to a dental appointment. Knowing the actingroles for the school play were being posted that day,he asked Billy if he got a part.
Billy enthusiastically announced that he'd gottena part. "I play a man who's been married for twentyyears."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work andbefore you know it they'll be giving you a speakingpart."
I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking," and then I thought:
What good would that do?-- Ronnie Shakes