VOICE & DICTION Samples of Student Writing

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VOICE &

DICTIONSamples from student writing under test

conditions

(JC2, Term 1 2013)

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What ?

The choices a writer makesWords & phrases for impact,emotional connection,

visualisationSentence structures, pattern

& lengthFigurative language

Literary devices etc.

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What for ?

To defend &

convince !

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CLEARCONNECTIONS

to the question& its key words

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Is it impossible to have quality

time with the family ? ... greater ease at accessing social media

sites such as Facebook and Twitter.Eventually, this has led to the overusage oftechnology even at the wrong times. During

family dinners, youth may still be constantlyon their phones, oblivious to theirsurroundings. There may be physicalproximity between them and their families,

but there would be no engagement orfamilial communication. Time may be spentwith the family, but it would not be qualitytime if most of the members are engrossedwith their digital devices.

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NEVER

CONTRADICTYOURSELF

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Do not write in absolute

language that you cannot defend

How to edit the contradictions causedby language below ?

STAND : Quality time with the family is

very difficult to achieve, but notimpossible

One could argue that quality time isimpossible to achieve because the pace

of life today is too fast. On the other hand, it can also be argued

that quality time is possible if there isenough help for families from thegovernment or employers.

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LABEL PERSPECTIVES

CLEARLY

for a MEASURED,WELL-CONSIDERED TONE Proponents, Advocates, Supporters,

Opponents, Detractors, Critics, Optimists,Pessimists misapplied words ?

vs

Those/People who think/argue/believe that ...

vs

A government/business/viewer(specify) that is

concerned with/thinks that ...

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MEASURED,

WELL-CONSIDERED

TONEQualifiers, Intensifiers,Downtoners, Quantifiers

Modals

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TONE, VOICE,

DICTIONthat suits the topic

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ou re g on s eemphasized ?

Religion has been around almost ever since

humans possessed the ability to rationalise and think beyondbasic survival. This intrinsic desire to find out where we come

from and what is my purpose have resulted in what we see as

religion today. Back when people were afraid of nature, like

thunderstorms or hurricanes, and provided no scientific

reasoning as to why certain phenomenon occur, Man turned to

an alternative explanation a Higher Being. Certainly religion

serves other purposes, like salvation, making morality a part of

us, a mode of self-actualisation and many more. However, with

our current progress in the fields of physics, genetics and

biology, is there still a need to emphasise religion ? Humans

have established systems which seem to slowly chip away at thefundamental purpose of religion, be it through the law, science

and even politics. This writer believes that religion still has a role

to play in our modern world but an emphasis of it should not be

encouraged to the extent that is once was.

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VISUALISATION

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Is it impossible to have quality

time with the family ? ... Most parents would head to work early in the

morning and return at night, while the children would

have to go through the mundane routine of

schooling every weekday. The family would usuallysuccumb to lethargy after they head home, and may

be too exhausted to talk. For students, they are left

with piles of assignments to be done, restricting

them to their own tasks. They would be little time

each day to even have proper conversations with

each other within the family. This routine repeats

itself day after day...

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LISTING &USING A RANGE

for effect

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Are we addicted to technology

?

... If one sees technology as a solution to resolve anyproblem one meets in life like the difficulty in writing a

chemical equation or deriving a mathematical expression,

one could become over-reliant on technology. With the

creation of search engines like Google, more and more

internet users are depending on Google for answers in everyaspect of their lives, be it on the ways to living a healthy

lifestyle or the latest Korean celebrity stars updates. Many

users are also losing their ability to memorise or simply

remember what they wanted to search online because

Google will automatically and immediately show possible

matches to their questions just by typing a few key words.

Given a longer period of time, they become so over-reliant

that they turn to Google for anything from bread-and-butter

issues like job-hunting and cooking to aiding in their memory.

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BIG WORDS

Do they work

or not ?

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Samples :

Religion is powerful. It indubitably holdsinsurmountable power to influence the masses. In

contemporary society, there is a plethora of

different religions...

... Religion has brought about propitious benefits.

... Those who subscribe to this beliefabhorrently

kidnap children...

...Terrorists brainwash these men to perform

odious acts like bombing...

It would be insane if these aberrations of religions

were to be emphasised ...

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Samples : ... Religion promotes benevolence,

fraternity and other good values

The state grants its citizens volition to

choose which religion to put their faith in. Instability was natural corollary of this

incident.

In the case of riot, the emphasis onreligion would be inimical to society.

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Documents

VOICE & DICTION Samples of Student Writing