Teacher Spy

Friday a.m. I walked into the classroom, the smell from all the perfumes as fragrant as theAtlanta Botanical Gardens. Sliding into my seat, I looked up expecting to see my lanyard

swinging, bald, bearded teacher. To my surprise he was absent, as absent as the order in our

classroom. Students were already in their seats, eyes bedazzled by their bright, beaming, cell

phones. The substitute teacher sat, a statue, frozen, staring straight ahead as the rest of the

boisterous students spilled into the classroom.

Monday a.m. greeting us at the door like an usher at Sunday morning church, my teacher says "hello" to each and every student. I try to control my irritation as he swings his gleaming, silver, keys on his camouflage lanyard over and over. I suppress the urge to snatch them from him like a kidnapper on a playground. "Put your phone down, "he says. It's funny how he and my mother sound so much alike.

Tuesday a.m. He is still bald and still bearded. He started our class out by talking

about perseverance but quickly got off topic, like an ADHD kid who forgot to take his Ritalin.

He is so much like me, today he told the class that he ate his entire lunch before our class

even started, a good hour before we even go to lunch. Some mornings I eat my entire lunch

before I make it out of my first period.

Wednesday a.m. Today was a no good, horrible day. It was QUIZ day. As I looked around the room I watched eyes grow round with horror as the teacher happily announced our quiz. They had forgotten to read the chapter assigned from the night before. Our teacher

threw us a life preserver though as he told the class that the quiz would occur after lunch. I felt and heard the strong, warm exhalation of thirty students after his announcement.

Thursday a.m. The teacher sat quiet as a mouse during the presentation by the

Coach, who was a guest speaker for our class. When the speaker was over, he sought to bring

organization to the cluttered, chaotic classroom by having us stack our books neatly on his

pristine maple bookshelf. I will say that his sense of humor and wit makes the dragging time

go even faster. He remained good humored at the five minute bell as the class chattered like

a troop of monkeys in the jungle who have spied a single banana.