Valley Vows 2010

ValleyValleyVowsVowsA Methow Valley A Methow Valley

Wedding Resource GuideWedding Resource GuideA supplement to the Methow Valley NewsA supplement to the Methow Valley News FreeFree

20102010

Forever

As you plan for your lives together, know that we are working hard to ensure that the natural beauty, working

farmlands, and clean flowing rivers that have drawn you to the Methow Valley are protected for

future generations, forever.

A wedding gift made in your honor to the Methow Conservancy or another local nonprofit organization is a special way to ensure

that what you love about the Methow Valley endures.

www.methowconservancy.org

Page 2 Valley Vows 2010

Valley Vows 2010 Page 3

Contents

Methow Valley

Valley Vows2010

Paul Butler, publisherJohn Hanron, editorSue Misao, design

Robin Doggett, ad salesCallie Fink, ad sales

Dana Sphar, ad design/productionLinda Day, ad design

Marilyn Bardin, office managerJanet Mehus, office assistant

Contributors:Bob Spiwak

Marcy StamperCarol Stull

Ashley LodatoSoo Ing-MoodyBrandy WorasRic Iribarren

Stacey ChisamA publication of the Methow Valley News

PO Box 97Twisp, WA 98856

[email protected]

Why here?Why not? p. 4

Make a plan, StanStick to it p. 5

Internet datingSome success stories p. 6

How to KISS(Sort of) p. 8

Happy trailsFinding love on your favorite trail p. 10

Forever? Really?How to make marriage last p. 11

Behind the scenesWhat really goes on at a wedding p. 12

Weddings explainedIn full, strange detail p. 14

Directory of AdvertisersWho they are p. 15

Ph

oto

by S

ue

Mis

ao

Cover: Tom Gehring and Amanda Davis make it official in the Twisp park. Photo by Sue Misao

Take the plunge!

There are a few landmark days in everyone’s life, but one day is certain to remain etched in your memory: the day you get married.

It is easy to get caught up in the preparations, to get lost in the planning, to become overwhelmed by the details.

No matter what happens on your wedding day – and something un-planned will happen – keep your sense of humor, stay relaxed and remember the reason you are here.

This issue of Valley Vows is designed to give you all the resources you need to plan your wedding in the Methow Valley. By choosing to be married in the Methow, with its natural beauty and ample supply of resources – from flow-ers and food to photography and music – you have set yourself up for a memo-rable day.

Don’t just dip your toe in the water of life, jump in!

–JH


Wedding destination:Methow Valley

By Soo Ing-Moody

W hereas a mar-r i a g e is al l

about the journey, many couples are recognizing that as far as the wed-ding is concerned, it’s all about the destination. After all, it is the locale that sets the tone for the celebration and gives context to the memorable events of a wedding.

With awe-in-spir ing natural beauty, activities galore, and myriad amenities all of-fering competitive prices, it is not sur-prising that the Methow Valley has become a very popular choice.

Long after the guests go home, the place where you made your wedding vows will always be a special place.

Donni and Adam Vognild were married in the Methow Valley in 2001 with the moun-tains as their personal back-drop – surrounded by a place they loved and where their relationship first began.

“We didn’t want the tra-ditional sort of wedding. We wanted something special – a place we could gather with our friends and family. It was perfect! People just made a va-cation of it and most stayed for four days or so,” says Donni.

Mindful that hosting a large number of people with varying tastes and interests in a foreign place needs some coordination, the Vognilds in-cluded all particulars on their wedding website.

“There were some people who are not so outdoorsy, but there is something in the Methow for everyone,” says Donni. “We just put up links of the many things to do on the website and they just gobbled

it up. It was easy, no stress, and months later I was still finding out all the things people did while they were there – rafting, horseback riding, hiking, and of course everybody was just in awe of the North Cascades.”

Similarly, after weighing options for a spring wedding in western Washington, Ross and Nancy Latham concluded, “The Methow Valley has more to offer.”

“We wanted a beautiful outdoor setting, and since a lot of our family and friends had to fly in anyway, we decided to introduce them to the Methow Valley and make a trip out of it, and,” says Nancy. “We didn’t want to have people come so far, spend a lot of time and money and not even be able to talk to them. Over the course of a weekend you can spend some quality time.”

“You go to the valley and it’s all right there as opposed to Seattle, where you’ll have to travel to get anywhere,” said Nancy. “Plus, the event coordinators all knew each other and could work as a team. Our photographer even went golfing with us and took pictures.”

“As a ‘city girl,’ I wanted all the amenities – caterer, tents, furniture, dinnerware, nice hotels and B&Bs,” admits Lani Huston, “and I must say that the vendors I dealt with were all so helpful and friendly it made the whole experience feel right – and it seems like it was much cheaper than Seattle.”

Huston and her husband, Archer Brown, were wed in a beautiful outdoor summer ceremony on private property, surrounded by more than 100 of their closest family and friends.

“We wanted to have a good-sized, casual wedding with the option for people to camp if they wanted to,” says Brown. “If you want an outdoor wedding, there is a real good chance you’ll have a beautiful sunny day in the Methow Valley, especially in the summer.”

Ideal weather, natural and gorgeous surroundings, and full amenities to personalize any wedding style at an af-fordable price. The Methow Valley offers a great start for a couple’s journey together – the rest is for you to discover, explore and enjoy.

Photo by Ric Iribarren

The Methow Valley’s awe-inspiring natural beauty lures many wedding couples to choose it as their ceremonial destination.


Wedding planning tipsBy Soo Ing-Moody

A lthough no two destination wed-dings are ever the same, there are a

few things that can be done in advance to help make your Methow Valley celebration as enjoyable and stress-free as possible for you and your guests. Then when the time comes – sit back, relax and let the fun begin!

Do your research. M Plan a preliminary

trip to be acquainted with the area, vendors, photographers, venues for the banquet, ca-terers and lodging establish-ments.

Consider a plan.M Choose and meet with

a local wedding coordinator, or at the very least have a trusted and reliable person who is inti-mately familiar with the wed-ding plans and area to act as a liaison with vendors, guests and the wedding party.

Be informed.M A portion, if not all, of

the days surrounding the ac-

tual wedding will be outdoors – be mindful of the season and weather.

M Depending on the expected number of wedding attendees, consider the time of year and facilities available that can accommodate your plans. Book well in advance for large groups.

Communicate.M Provide an itinerary so

guests know when and how

much free time they have to explore on their own.

M Create a website so that guests can have an idea of what the area is like and all there is to do – links are helpful.

M Provide lodging op-tions so guests can book their own stay (large groups may need to book well in ad-vance).

M Make clear what is and what is not included in the wedding (state whether extra outings are planned as a part of the wedding and paid for by the hosts, or if the cost lies with the participant).

M Provide a map of the area that all guests can access and print off to navigate be-tween areas and events.

M Provide tips on what to expect – weather, appropri-ate attire, etc.

Have a backup plan.M Weather is never 100

percent predictable. If all or part of the wedding is held outdoors, have alternative op-tions readily available – tents, shelters, indoor venue, etc.

Relax and enjoy!

Photo by Ric Iribarren

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Worldwide love is at your fingertipsBy Bob Spiwak

W e have come a long way from the days of mail-order brides. Nowadays

one can search the Internet and, with a click, find a cor-nucopia of persons looking for another with whom to share their lives.

I met my wife pre-Internet. I went to the personals pages of Mother Earth News, wanting someone who wanted to be back-to-the-earth. There were hundreds of ads, male and female, with requirements as to age, sex, smoking, and other characteristics the person was seeking.

I wrote a letter and got one back saying she was off to Kansas City for a cat show or a craft show, but would get back to me when she returned home. Having gotten similar responses to other letters, I wrote her off.

Several weeks later, she telephoned. I was very

impressed, because those were the days of costly long-

distance calls, and we must’ve yakked for half an hour. That

call has extended now for 29 years. She had gotten more

than 800 responses to her ad, and I was the lucky winner.

There are still classified ads for partners, but the Internet has revolutionized the process. No handwritten letters for the first phases that can be accomplished via e-mail and instead of a mailed snapshot or portrait, photographic evidence comes across the screen, sometimes with music and sometimes without clothing.

Sometimes without truth as well. One person I spoke with mentioned an ad she had answered; she ultimately learned the person was 10 years older than his listing had stated. In fairness, the listing also read, “Don’t believe ev-erything you read here.”

There are probably thou-sands of such listing “hosts” on the ’net. Within these are literally millions of people shopping. With 16 or so ads

Online dating is often hit and miss, but a lucky few have used it to find their one true love.Photo by Sue Misao

Continued on P. 7


per page on Yahoo Personals, I quit on page 80. There is Granny Dating, Albanian Women, Country Passions, Kinky Personals, Gay, Afro, Inter-racial , Chinese, Cupid.... You get the idea. It’s world-wide.

Some are prob-ably scams. Putting up phony photos for nonexis tent members . Even with the many that advertise free ads, somewhere down the line money can become part of the equation.

To test this, I checked out three. e H a r m o n y . c o m wanted my e-mail address right off; SinglesLocalSearch needed my e-mail address after I logged in, and stated that it had a “limited time free trial.” Kinkypersonals warned in advance that it contained adult matter (“Watch the net’s hottest porn”) and it seemed not suitable to pursue that one. And none were going to get my e-mail address – I hope.

This is not to say it does not work. Teresa Allen is a friend who worked for years at the Country Clinic. She opted for Match.com, and found the man of her dreams, Carl Isaacson. What drew her to him? He read her pro-file, which, af-ter meeting her, was amazingly representative of the person she is. Teresa was impressed with h im because , “He could write a complete sen-tence and spell i t c o r re c t l y. ” Of course there were other bind-ing factors.

“I was hop-ing for someone close by the Tri-Cities where I live. Instead I found Teresa, 231 miles away. I put 117,000 miles on my truck chasing her,” Carl stated.

Did he have to pay anything along

the way? Eighty bucks, he said, add-ing, “It’s like paying greens fees. If you want to play the better course, you pay accordingly.”

Carl said it took about 10 minutes to decide Teresa was the woman for him. For Teresa? “The time it took him to walk across the parking lot.”

After their first dinner out in Omak and regular phone calls, they decided they were meant for each other. Teresa moved to the Tri-Cities over a year ago. She teaches in a private college in Pasco; Carl is a house remodeler.

Not long ago he gave her the ring. They plan a small wedding in May.

If the journey from Tri-Cities seems long, consider Carl Rapp of the Libby Creek area who fell in love with a woman from Sedona, Ariz.

He and Tania met through Greensingles.com. They have

been together for more than three years and were married last summer. Tania has a son, now 6, who loves Carl and calls him Daddy.

They chose Greensingles.com because it attracted people with an abiding inter-est in spirituality and the environment. Tania had tried a few dates, meeting men in the more conventional

manner. “Most were

much older than I. There are not a lot of single men in the Sedona area; there were some who were not interested in somebody with a child. For a few it was just about trying to get a woman into bed,” she noted.

Carl sent the first e-mail and she responded. She was im-pressed. The In-ternet, she ex-plained, allowed straightforward questions and answers. Carl’s struck a chord with her, and his lifestyle was ap-pealing.

“Of all the other men I met, Carl was the only one who was down-to-earth: The

things he wrote were pretty humble.”Tania does not remember what the

matchmaking service cost was. Initially, publishing your profile on the site is free. As she remembers, once a couple wants to pursue each other’s profile, then a reasonable fee is required.

They began the relationship with e-mails, then moved ahead to telephone conversations. Ultimately, Carl went to

Sedona and they met for the first time, timing it with her birthday. Things pro-gressed and she came to the Methow with her son and loved it.

“Sedona is all desert, but beautiful in its own way. But here, everything is so green, the scenery is beautiful.” Her son loves it as well, and she added that

getting together with Carl “changed his life.” Obviously for the better.

Carl is a farmer and carpenter; Ta-nia was a teacher in a Waldorf school. The three are happy, work and play together and it seems it will be a lasting relationship.

There are others in the valley who have met in the same manner and share

their lives with an-other person pre-viously unknown. The Internet has played a big role in these relation-ships.

While there used to be a stigma attached to this, technology and a more relaxed social attitude have diminished it. It is still unique enough, however, to pique the curi-

osity of people who have not experi-enced the experience.

There are probably as many failures as successes in these couplings. But for every failure, a few strokes on the keyboard can bring new hope that one day the right person will show up in your inbox.

Continued from P. 6

“....I am a simple, complex person, creative and eccentric, curious and

understanding. I have a calm demeanor, but am very outgo-ing. I’m a life-long learner, and take

nothing for granted....”

“I am: Gentle natured, honest, sensitive, connected,

deep, stubborn, passionate,

compassionate, an intuitive, spiritually connected, educated, warm

hearted, a great hugger.”

“Male, white/caucasian, on a per-sonal spiritual path, Libra, university professor, 5 ft 10, 185 lbs, athletic, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, typical American diet, never smoked, never drink, possibly willing to relocate, no children....looking for an open-minded and intelligent person who likes yoga,

bicycling, hiking, kayaking....”


How to KISS**Keep It Straightforward & Simple

By Ashley Lodato

I t’s your big day. You only get married once (statistically this isn’t true, but for rhetorical

purposes let’s assume this to be the case). Plan the wedding of your dreams.

The pressure to have a big, fancy, expensive wedding comes at you from all directions and, with the average 150-per-son wedding costing $25,000 these days, it’s clear that many new couples are succumbing to the pressure. But if money is tight, or if a modest wedding better reflects your values, it is entirely possible to have a simple wedding that still re-tains all the best aspects of an extravagant one: a meaningful ceremony, a bunch of guests, delicious food and a crowded dance floor.

First, make sure you have a positive attitude about a simple wedding. Simple weddings are as lovely and memorable as elaborate ones; they just take extra creativity, time and energy to pull off.

Accept the fact that work-ing with a lean budget means making cuts in many areas. If your vision for your wedding includes 10 bridesmaids and a sit-down dinner for 200, your overall budget won’t be notably affected by picking wildflowers instead of hiring a florist. But by simplifying many aspects of your wedding – particularly the big-ticket items – you can save substantially.

Second, involve your friends and family. Most of them will be honored to be asked to help. Whether it’s arranging centerpieces or taking photos, they’ll feel the satisfaction of having played an important role in something significant. It will be meaning-ful for all of you and it will reduce expenses.

Third, make a list of all the possible wedding customs (bridesmaids/groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearer, gift bags, wedding favors, custom transportation, wedding plan-ner, professional hair/make-up, menu cards, placecards,

programs, wedding video, etc.), decide which ones are important to you, and cut the rest. Each might seem minor by itself, but together they can add up to thousands of dollars. By eliminating many details you’ll not only save money, but you’ll also be able to focus on the aspects of your wedding that matter most to you.

Money-saving tips big and small

M Size: Weddings are one area where size really does matter, in terms of the number of guests you’ll be wining and dining. Trim your guest list to the smallest number you will be happy with.

M Venue: Hold the wed-ding and reception in the same place. Use someone’s beautiful yard or garden for the ceremony and reception.

Outdoor weddings provide built-in scenery, so you save on decorations. Even with renting a tent and some portable out-houses, you’ll still save. If you must rent a space, choose an off-season date and/or avoid Saturdays.

M Paperwork and post-age: Use paper for only two things: invitations and thank you notes. E-mail save-the-date notes. Make your own invitations, using blank cards or postcards from a crafts store that can be mailed with a single first-class stamp. RSVP by e-mail. Direct guests to a blog with all the logistical details they will need to know.

M Dress: Craigslist has as big a selection of never-worn dresses as any bridal ware-house. Vintage clothing stores are full of gorgeous dresses at

Continued on P. 9

Knowing how to KISS – as well as kiss – will make for an enjoyable wedding experience.

Photo by Brandy Woras

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affordable prices. And you probably know hundreds of women who have a worn-once wedding dress hanging in the back of their closet they’d be happy to lend you.

M Groom’s clothes: Who notices him anyway? Nice pants and a shirt will suffice.

M Cake: Ask a talented baking friend to give you a wedding cake as a present. Or order cakes (or cupcakes) from a bakery and have an artistic friend frost them for you. Choose one small tiered cake for aesthetics and supple-ment with large sheet cakes.

M Drinks: Skip mixed drinks; provide good beer and wine.

M Music: Enlist your musical friends to play prior to the ceremony and/or at the beginning of the recep-tion. Hire a dance band or a DJ just for the dancing.

M Decorations: Decorate accord-ing to the seasons. In spring and sum-mer put fresh wildflowers (or flowers from a friend’s garden) in canning jars on the tables. In the fall use pumpkins and brilliant leaves. In the winter deco-rate with sprigs of mountain ash and conifer branches.

M Photos: Ask several differ-ent friends to focus on taking digital pictures throughout your ceremony and party. Let them know what you’re looking for, including specific photos you’d like (e.g., wedding cake, vows, dancing). Make time for posed photos, if desired. Get the nicest ones printed professionally.

M Chairs: Save money on chair rentals by using the same set of chairs for the ceremony and for the meal. Designate a crew of friends to move

chairs.M Officiant: Ask an articulate,

licensed friend to perform the ceremony as a gift to you.

M Food: Work closely with your caterer to design a simple and appealing meal served buffet-style, rather than a plated dinner. You can also save money by doing a luncheon or an appetizer and drinks reception instead of a dinner. It is possible to do the food yourself with a lot of help from friends and family, but it’s an immense amount of work, so make sure you know what you’re getting into.

M Keep expenses down for your guests, too. After all, many of them will purchase plane tickets or drive a significant distance and they’ll have travel expenses.

M Get married in warm months so out-of-town guests can camp instead of paying for hotels. If possible, help guests find free or inexpensive places to stay.

M Ask friends to contribute items to the wedding or rehearsal dinner, wildflower arrangements, or live music in lieu of traditional gifts.

M Don’t require your bridesmaids or groomsmen to buy a particular dress or rent a tuxedo; give them some guide-lines but allow them to make individual, inexpensive choices.

Finally, don’t lose sight of the main

point of your wedding: the public cel-ebration of your committed relationship. You’re not producing a Broadway play here, you’re inviting the people you love to participate in one of the most solemn and joyful events of your life. Focus on this and, when it’s all over, you’ll be glad you decided to KISS.

Continued from P. 8

Choosing a friend to officiate at your wedding can simplify things.

Photo by Sue Misao

Simple and straightforward.Photo by Brandy Woras


Romance on the trailsBy Stacey Chisam

T he Methow Valley trail system, the second largest in the United States, is recognized

as one of the finest in North America for cross country skiing, off-road biking, hiking and… making lifelong declara-tions of love.

Uh, wait a sec, what was that last one?

Perhaps that last feature isn’t actually part of the area’s promotional material, but it certainly could be. Anyone who has enjoyed an outing on a Methow Valley trail would agree that its beauty is unsur-passed. Those jagged peaks and sweeping views leave a lasting impression on every visitor, regardless of the sea-son. Many outdoor enthusiasts have discovered that the trails can also be the perfect place to propose to or marry the love of their lives.

Take Bellingham resident Laura Todd, for example. On a

gorgeously sunny day in February of 2004, she was skiing with her partner of seven years, Dale, and family and friends on the Mazama trail system. She was overcome by the panoramic views, the shimmering snow crys-tals, and the warmth she felt being surrounded by her favorite people. “I decided spontaneously that I was going to ask Dale to marry me on that beautiful outing,” Todd says proudly, “and my seven-year itch certainly helped a bit with the motivation!”

She boldly followed her unsuspecting lover when he took a short de-tour from the group and popped the question near a conveniently located bench. His astonished response was, “I thought I was going to ask you!” She replied with a smile, “You can.” He did, she said yes, and they returned to their group teary-eyed and elated. “We knew we were going to be together the rest of our lives anyway,” gushes Todd, “but being on a valley trail that day just inspired me to get things started!”

Spontaneous trail propos-als can certainly yield amazing results, but if you’re Edelweiss resident James DeSalvo, a well-planned scavenger hunt works well too. “From our house in Lost River, I followed clues attached to red roses stuck in the snow,” recalls

DeSalvo’s wife, Tory. “The first leg was snowshoeing. Then I got to the river where rain boots were waiting to ford the river. It was just a tad too deep and the boots got flooded, but I made it to the other side, where dry boots, socks, and my skate skis were waiting. Those were the only skis I owned, and it was tough to make it to the end of the trail without any traction. I think that was part of the challenge, though,” she grins, “to see how committed I was. By then I had a pretty good idea what was coming at

the end of the hunt!”When asked why

he chose that par-ticular site, DeSalvo admits, “I’d noticed it a year earlier when I was out skiing and thought it would be a great place to propose. I liked that there was a bench and a cedar arch that someone had made, presum-ably for a wedding at some point. It was just beautiful.”

Always the plan-ner, he knew his trail proposal also had a built-in contingency plan. “It was very ac-cessible from where we lived at the time. We didn’t have to do any driving – we could ski in and out. So if Tory seemed cranky with me for making her get out of bed and follow my clues,” he chuckled, “I

could scrap the proposal and say I just wanted to go for a romantic ski!”

Clearly, the Methow Valley trails can be credited for spark-ing the beginnings of lasting love, yet they’ve also played a significant role in solidifying that love with many “I do” moments. Locals Adam and Danica Kaufman decided to tie the knot on the well-known Tawlks-Foster Suspension Bridge in Mazama in August of 2000.

“We knew we wanted to get married outdoors and the

bridge just fit our personalities,” said the now-Mrs. Kaufman. “We loved the location, the fact that we were surrounded by nature, and hearing water flow-ing under the bridge.” On their big day, 120 people braved very blustery weather and walked down the trail to share in their special moment. “It was blow-ing like mad, and probably no one heard a word we said, but we’d still do it there again!” she says confidently.

The suspension bridge seems to have found a way to connect more than trails. Darcy Ottey and Dave Moskowitz chose a spot just past the bridge to marry back in September of 2003. “We’d originally planned to have the wedding at Harts Pass,” remembers Ottey, “but there was a lot of fire activity in that area at the time. We had to find a new location just three days before the big day. We settled on a spot near the bridge that in retrospect worked out much better logistically, and it was just breathtaking!” Fifty guests walked to the site and sat in a grassy field to witness the union.

People near and far ven-ture to the Methow Valley for so many different reasons. Many come for the serenity; others thrive on the oppor-tunity for physical challenge, and some venture here to invite the beauty of the valley to play a major role in cement-ing their love. And for couples that are truly passionate about the outdoors, the magic of the trails may just be too powerful to ignore.

Many outdoor enthusiasts have discov-ered that their favorite trails are the perfect place to propose or marry.

Photo courtesy of Darcy Ottey


Photo by Carol Stull

Love, joy, peace can keep a marriage strongBy Carol Stull

Y our wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime.

Something pro-found to consider while

you’re wrapped up in choosing dresses and flowers: Just how do you make those vows last forever?

Words of advice to live by from couples whose promises have stood the test of time are worth heeding.

Hard work…persever-ance…togetherness…faith…forgiveness… are a few recur-ring key words from a half dozen local amateur experts on the subject of marital lon-gevity.

First prize for the most anniversaries celebrated goes to Herb and June Gatewood, former Winthrop fixtures now living in Wenatchee. According to June, they’ve been married 67 years. Herb just knows it’s been “a terribly long time,” and he means that in the best way.

“You’ve got to work at it,” declares Herb. “We’ve always worked together, in business and other things. Each one takes care of what he is best at, and at the end of the day everything gets done.”

Like many young people – especially in earlier times – Herb and June started out after high school with nothing. He worked several jobs; she took care of the kids. By 1960 they came to Winthrop, oper-ated a successful business, and became heavily involved in the community – always together – before moving from the val-ley in 1995.

June’s good marriage

advice partly echoes Herb’s: “Look after one another’s needs and wants.” But her most im-portant rule: “Never let anger go past one day. Solve the problem before you go to bed.”

Walt and Nella Foster, married 63 years, still own the Mazama ranch they bought in 1960, but now spend winters living in Omak. They met on a Seattle ballfield as teenagers, where Walt recalls he kept trying to play closer to her. By ages 18 and 19 they were mar-ried. Nella admits she is “the older woman,” and also jokes that may have been their secret to success.

Seriously, Nella ad-vises, “Give and take. You can’t just throw in the towel over nothing. You’ve got to talk things over.”

Like the Gatewoods, the Fosters believe leading busy, constructive lives together has contributed to their content-ment.

Walt, who says he never dated anyone else, admits, “Sure there were tough times, like everyone has, but we got along. You’ve got to deal with problems day to day – just face up to hard times and make the best of it.”

Dave and Dee Schulz of Twisp celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year. They give a lot of credit to a shared faith in God for making it easy to keep their commitment to each other. Besides being ac-tive in church, they share other

interests, like attending local sporting events together.

“You do have to work at your marriage; you can’t take it for granted,” advises Dee.

She met Dave while he was in the Air Force in Oklahoma. After they married, she left her home and family to move to his home in the Methow Val-

ley – something that can be difficult for young brides. But Dee promises that, “You get used to it” as you build a new home together.

Dee also is grateful that, as she has faced health issues, Dave has taken the “in sickness and in health” part of the mar-riage vows to heart by helping out around the house, doing tasks that are now difficult for her.

And Dave reports that be-ing active Christians, enjoying the “fruits of the spirit” – love, joy, peace – keeps their mar-riage strong so they can serve as examples to others around them.

Rob and Jovonna Wilson

of Winthrop, going strong after 48 years of marriage, cite varia-tions on themes expressed by other longtimers.

“Never let the sun go down on your wrath,” advises Jovonna. “Kiss each other every morning and every night.”

To those who think the Wilsons are “just lucky,” Rob

responds, “Luck has nothing to do with it.” He sees the wedding vows as not just a prom-ise, but a commitment, “words to live by,” and a “three-way contract” be-tween a man, a woman and God.

Preston and Lau-rie Hobart, married 40 years, enjoy doing a lot together – cross country skiing, gardening and ministry. Associated with Methow Valley Ranch – a retreat and

prayer center up the Chewuch – the Hobarts have compiled a complete list of dos and don’ts for couples to succeed in mar-riage.

Have God as your foun-dation. Enjoy being, praying and doing together. Forgive and avoid bringing up past mistakes. Serve each other and be thankful.

And they believe all mar-riages can benefit from taking time to enrich the experience through seminars, courses and counseling. Preston and Laurie also offer themselves to help couples strengthen their mar-riage through both formal stud-ies and informal counseling.

Randy and Deb Kalm-

bach of Winthrop remain hap-pily together after 39 years of sometimes troubled times. In her book Because I Said Forever, Deb chronicles their “journey together” through dark days of alcohol and financial problems, ultimately resolved by patience and prayer.

Admitting that “being older brings wisdom,” Deb of-fers tips to young couples:

“Loving your spouse is a decision, not a feeling. Under-stand what it takes to really love someone. Honor your vows, even though it’s not always easy.”

She also reminds couples that staying “in it for the long haul” really is worthwhile. Speaking from experience, she says life really does become “sweet after going through ups and downs together.”

Pastor Steve Schroeder of Methow Valley United Meth-odist Church cites many of the above tenets when counseling couples. Marriage, a sacred union bringing two individuals together into one life, “is hard work,” he says. Making it last requires a few basic tools.

“Forgiveness is the heart of a good marriage. We have many chances to get it right. We all make mistakes and need to say we’re sorry and be forgiven.”

He advises troubled cou-ples to get help – by talking to a trusted friend or a profes-sional counselor rather than giving up. Because, ultimately, a marriage will succeed when partners understand that stay-ing together is often better than splitting apart.

Dave and Dee Schulz of Twisp celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year.


Wedding stories from the other side of the aisleBy Marcy Stamper

T he maestros who help couples pull off their dream wedding have to be prepared to go

with the flow – sometimes, literally. Janet Verkuyl once guided a couple through their vows standing barefoot in the river, portraying their lives together as part of the river of life, placid pools, turbulent rapids and all.

The best wedding profes-sionals are open to new ideas, resourceful and flexible, adapt-ing well-orchestrated plans so that no one – least of all the bride and groom – even notices.

As first violinist in the Tamarack String Quartet, Tara Kaiyala Weaver said one of her main roles is monitoring the progress of the wedding party as they approach the ceremony site and then signaling the other musicians about when to play – or when to launch into a quick cadence so the main event can begin.

Despite carefully rehearsed music – one piece for the pro-cessional, a special selection for the bride and then a rous-ing number for the recessional – Kaiyala Weaver said every-thing can change, particularly when young children or anx-ious couples are involved. “For instance, flower girls,” she said. “These are typically the small-est children, and they tend to be difficult to coax, especially in front of all those people.”

At a ceremony held on the bluff at Sun Mountain Lodge, Kaiyala Weaver described watching and waiting for a two-year-old flower girl to make her way through the lobby doors, down two long flights of stairs and across the grass to where the wedding party was gathered in front of the classic mountain pan-orama. The little girl took three steps onto the grass, realized the quartet was playing, and halted, mesmerized, listening to the music. “Somebody ul-timately had to come get her,” said Kaiyala Weaver.

During the social hour, the girl once again drifted over to the patio where the quartet was

playing, swaying in time to the Bach Air. “It was as if we had a mini-audience – I just played for her,” said Kaiyala Weaver. “It was a beautiful experience.”

As long as she can get the quartet to shift on the fly, Kaiyala Weaver does not find playing at weddings to be anxiety-producing. “It’s a blast – being together and playing music anyway is just a kick in the pants, and there is less pressure than at a concert, since the musicians are not in the spotlight.”

Weather introduces its own set of variables for musicians. Umbrellas have to be carefully positioned and repositioned to protect delicate wooden instru-ments from cracking in the sun. Craig Weaver, the quartet’s cellist, has honed his expertise over decades of performances to react to unexpected develop-ments and still come right back in for an important solo.

Once Weaver leapt up to intercept an umbrella that had been picked up by the wind and was making a beeline straight for her, said Kaiyala Weaver. Another time she watched as a real bee alighted on the cellist’s finger during the processional at the Freestone Inn. As Weaver flung his hand to dislodge the insect, his cello did a full 360° turn, but he rejoined the quartet right in tempo, she said.

John Weeks, the second violinist in the quartet and a member of several other ensembles who play for wed-dings, said he likes when the music can be more than back-ground accompaniment, so they will sometimes arrange to complete a musical selection while the wedding party and their guests listen. Occasion-ally, however, when everyone is a little too distracted for careful time management, this can require an unusual degree of focus and forbearance.

The Pachelbel Canon, its leisurely tempo perfectly suited to a dignified walk down the aisle, is a beloved baroque piece often requested for the processional. But it is slow – the full Canon takes almost seven minutes, said Weeks.

At one backyard wedding, Weeks and his group began the Pachelbel as the wedding

party proceeded from the back porch to gather under a cherry tree, some 50 feet away, for the

vows. “The screen door slams, and they’re out of there like

Photo by Ric IribarrenDuring the wedding celebration, anything can happen with the music...

Continued on P. 13


racehorses – and under the tree within 40 seconds,” recalled Weeks.

But Weeks, ever the evan-gelist for music as an essential ingredient of the proceedings, said the understanding was that they were going to play the whole piece, so everyone waited for six minutes – gener-ally without undue fidgeting – as the musicians relished the rare opportunity to play the complex melodies that are not heard until the end.

In addition to standing in the river, Verkuyl has married people who paddled across the lake at the Freestone Inn, stood in the shadows of the water tower at Sun Mountain, and she has officiated at Eightmile for a bride who arrived via horseback wearing a striking red gown.

Another wedding was scheduled early on a frigid morning so that the bride and groom could set out in a hot-air balloon right after the ceremony. The sun came up just as they completed their vows, blessing

their marriage, said Verkuyl.Verkuyl has joined couples

on a sleigh driving through the snow and from the lookout tower at First Butte. “I had to face my fears for that one,” she said, acknowledging her dis-comfort with heights, but she stayed close to the wall and said “it was a lovely ceremony.”

“Every wedding was re-ally unusual in its own way, because people are so different,” she said.

Caterer Bill Simmons of Rent-A-Chef is used to accom-modating his clients’ needs, adapting to food preferences and turning out food in kitch-ens from the professional to the rustic. He frequently barbecues large cuts of meat, but the time he was asked to cook half a cow that had been raised and butchered by the groom posed a special challenge.

“They delivered it to us on a flatbed truck and it took four guys to flip it on the barbe-cue,” said Simmons. The cow required frequent turning to be sure it was cooked evenly as they neared the end of the 28-hour roasting time. The 700

guests at the county fairgrounds finished it all.

“I will do a wedding in a barn with no running water,” said caterer Stewart Dietz. “I get really excited when there’s a kitchen and a sink.”

Dietz recalled one wedding

at the River Run Inn in a thun-derstorm, when the power went out and water pooled under the tents. “Weddings are kind of a symbol of what’s to come in life,” she said. “You have the expectations of what the wedding’s going to be like – it’s

just a perfect hurdle as people start on their lives together. You have to let go of the small things.”

Kaiyala Weaver agreed. “Nothing ever goes as planned or timed. That’s the main thing to remember.”

...the food, or even the umbrellas.Photo by Brandy Woras

Continued from P. 12

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Anatomy of a weddingBy Bob Spiwak

There is something for sure besides the clichéd Death and Taxes, and that is people getting

married. In recent years same-sex marriages have begun to be recognized here and there, along with the traditional Boy-Meets-Girl, and they all marry and live – hopefully – happily the rest of their days.

When they marry, the event – as you know – is called a wedding. Weddings come in all sizes from two-person elopements (it does take two), where the witnesses (the law requires two of these as well) are frequently the photogra-pher and maybe a friend of the wedding couple, a passer-by politely shanghaied to observe the ceremony (which is usually brief), and sign the paper along with the officiant, making it all legal.

The officiant can be a person of religious leadership, such as a priest, minister, pas-tor, rabbi, or layperson (usu-ally licensed by the state), or a layperson who is not religious or licensed. We could circum-navigate the globe and find other types of officiants, but we’ll stick to the U.S. of A. for this discourse.

From the two-person wed-ding, the numbers of people in attendance can grow from one more to hundreds. At larger weddings there are usually a corps of bridesmaids and groomsmen, ordinarily dressed in matching frocks or gowns for the women, and suits for the guys. It goes downhill, in a manner of speaking, from here.

There is also a maid of honor, related to or friend of the bride (in a traditional opposite-sex wedding – I don’t know the designations in same-sex nuptials) and a best man standing stalwartly alongside the groom, and in some instances, holding him up because there was a party that ended an hour before the ceremony.

It is worthwhile to note that these two principals are usually the ones that lead off the toasts to the couple after

the ceremony and at any time right through, and certainly after the reception dinner. The toasts are in the main quite boring to most outsid-ers (“shoestring” relatives for example, who may or may not know one member of the couple and have never met the other). Toasts bring forth tears and laughter, usually both, and each is followed by some or several of the guests clinking their forks against their drink-ing glasses. This is the signal for the couple to kiss.

At larger weddings, there are so many toasts that while the initial kiss may be pro-longed and even passionate,

after a while they become merely pecks. The kisses are roundly applauded during and after by married people who think, “Hmm, I remember when he/she used to kiss me like that first one and now I am lucky to get even a peck.”

Then there is the obligato-ry cutting of the wedding cake. In this ritual, the couple each feed the other the first piece of the confection. This is done in a manner of ways, ranging from a demure closing of lips around the presenting fork to what is known as “cramming,” where the frosting is quite lib-erally smeared over the facial geography of both. Most find the latter quite a lot of fun, especially the little children, who have suffered through all this folderol because they were promised a piece of that lovely multitiered dessert after dinner.

The bigger the wedding, the more expensive. The last time I checked on the national average for the cost of pho-tographers was in 2000. The numbers came from an urban survey and the average cost of the photography was $1,300. Add to this the rental of the venue, gallons of alcohol in its many permutations, dinner, gowns, suits, music, wed-ding cake, tips, officiant and “incidentals,” and it can be a costly event.

I have had two brides’ fathers make the same com-ment to me: “I offered them the down payment on a house if they would elope, and they wanted this.”

Photo by Sue Misao

The groom’s best man stands stalwartly alongside the groom, unless he is busy keeping the groom’s best friend from interrupting the ceremony. Chokehold!


Valley Vows 2010 Directory of Advertisers

Photo by Leslie Lanthorn

Artists, ArtisansBruce Morrison ..........................9Peligro ........................................7

BakeriesMazama Store ............................9

Banquet/Reception FacilitiesAmy’s Manor ............................4Brown’s Farm...........................16Hometown Pizza ......................14Old Schoolhouse Brewery .........6Skalitude Retreat ........................9Spring Creek Ranch .................10Sun Mountain Lodge ..................2The Barn at Wilson Ranch .......14Timberline Meadows .................6Twisp River Pub .......................16Twisp Valley Grange ................14

Beauty & Professional ServicesOpulence Hair Design ................3

Bridal Registry ServicesWebster Furniture .......................5

CateringAmy’s Manor .............................4Rent-A-Chef .........................4, 10Salyna’s Specialty Cakes ...........6Stewart Dietz Catering .............16

ContractorsJA Wright Construction ..............6

DiningOld Schoolhouse Brewery .........6Mazama Store ............................9Stewart Dietz Catering .............16Sun Mountain Lodge ..................2Twisp River Pub .......................16

Entertainment/MusiciansDJ Noah ...................................11Methow Valley DJ Services .......8Wind & Wood ............................3

Event Planners & ConsultantsAmy’s Manor .............................4Fawn Meadow Design .............16Stewart Dietz Catering .............16Sun Mountain Lodge ..................2

Flowers & Floral DesignersFawn Meadow Design .............16Winthrop Red Apple Market ......2

Furniture & AppliancesWebster Furniture .......................5

Gifts & Party SuppliesHarrison Jewelers .......................2 Methow Conservancy ................2

Gifts & Party Supplies, cont.Winthrop Red Apple Market ......2Nancy’s Party Rentals ..............14

Guest AccommodationsAmy’s Manor .............................4Brown’s Farm...........................16Sportsman Motel ......................14Spring Creek Ranch .................10Sun Mountain Lodge ..................2Timberline Meadows .................6

Jewelry & JewelersHarrison Jewelers .......................2Peligro ........................................7

Limousine ServicesKatrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11

Mailing ServicesElite Mailing Services ..............12

Massage PractitionersGreen Lotus Massage .................9

Non-Profi t OrganizationsMethow Conservancy ................2

PhotographersDusty Dreams Photography .......6RLI Photography ........................5Woras Photography ..................11

RecreationLost River Winery ......................8

Rehearsal Dinner FacilitiesAmy’s Manor .............................4Spring Creek Ranch .................10Sun Mountain Lodge ..................2The Barn at Wilson Ranch .......14Twisp Valley Grange ................14

Rental EquipmentJ.A. Wright Construction ...........6Katrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11Mills Bros. ...............................10Nancy’s Party Rentals ................14Rent-A-Chef .........................4, 10Skalitude Retreat ........................9Special Occasion Tent Rentals ....12The Washworks ..........................7

Wedding Gowns & TuxedosKatrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11Mills Bros.................................10Nancy’s Party Rentals ..............14

Wedding Cakes & ConfectionsSalyna’s Specialty Cakes ...........6

WineriesLost River Winery ......................8

Documents

Valley Vows 2010