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10 Ways To Get Your Roses From A Good Man CELEBRATE GAY LOVE SPRING FASHION A Porn Star + An Erotic Dancer - (Sex ) = Love DIAMOND Talks About Hair, Love & Music What I've Come To Know About Dating Pg. 25 Volume 3 Issue 2 March/April 2013 DBQMAG.COM Twitter Us @DBQMAG Photo by Maurice Wiggins Ballroom ROCKSTARS SINIA EBONY & CEASAR PRODIGY My New Favorite Couple

V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

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it's Spring time and we believe love is in the air. New relationships are blossoming everywhere and we want to help you put your best foot forward with our annual Love Issue. Be sure to read our 10 ways to get your roses from a good man. We brought together the smartest and empowering dating tips that will help you get what you want. Pg 12. I talk to my new favorite couple about their love life and how they balance their relationships and their careers. Very fascinating story. Pg 15. And we end this issue with some Spring fashions from some of my favorite new designers. And I get personal on Pg. 25, I share the hard and painful lessons from my dating experiences; it is truly what I've come to know about love. It is Spring time, new things are growing and bright things are happening. Jump into it and you'll be surprised at the refreshing stuff you will find. Happy Spring!

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Page 1: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

10 Ways To Get Your Roses

From A Good Man

CELEBRATE

GAY LOVE

SPRING FASHION

A Porn Star + An Erotic Dancer -

(Sex ) = Love

DIAMOND Talks About Hair,

Love & Music

What I've Come To Know

About Dating Pg. 25

Volume 3 Issue 2

March/April 2013

DBQMAG.COM

Twitter Us

@DBQMAG

Photo by Maurice Wiggins

Ballroom ROCKSTARS

SINIA EBONY & CEASAR PRODIGY

My New Favorite Couple

Page 2: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

MAILED TO YOUR

DOOR!

SUBSCRIBE

TODAY AT

DBQMAG.COM

HOME DELIVERY 6

Autographed Issues A Year For

$20

Plus Our Newest

Issue

FREE!

Page 3: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

t's Spring time and we believe love is in the

air. New relationships are blossoming everywhere and we

want to help you put your best foot forward with our annual

Love Issue.

Be sure to read our 10 ways to get your roses from a good

man. We brought together the smartest and empowering

dating tips that will help you get what you want. Pg 12.

I talk to my new favorite couple about their love life and how

they balance their relationships and their careers. Very

fascinating story. Pg 15.

And we end this issue with some Spring fashions from some

of my favorite new designers. And I get personal on Pg. 25, I

share the hard and painful lessons from my dating

experiences; it is truly what I've come to know about love.

It is Spring time, new things are growing and bright things

are happening. Jump into it and you'll be surprised at the

refreshing stuff you will find. Happy Spring!

CONTRIBUTORS

Matthew Is an actor, singer,

blogger, activist living in New

York. For the past three years

he has been a part of the hit

web series ADTV. You can

watch The Matthew Barrett

Show on YouTube.

DaShawn Usher is a

native New Yorker. He

focuses most of his time

and talents in Public

Relations, health and the

nonprofit sector. His

passion is creative

writing. He is managing

editor at DBQ.

Here We Go!

I

Editor-In-Chief /

Publisher

David A. Bridgeforth

Jr.

Senior Editor/

Executive

Administrator

Jacqui Tanner

Contributing Editor

Stanley Bennett Clay

Consulting Cover

Editor

Reggie Wells

Managing Editor/

Copy Editor

Dashawn Usher

Entertainment Editor

Matthew Barrett

Ballroom Editor

Pony Zion

Makeup

Reggie Wells

Photography/

Retouch

Felix Mercedes

Editorial Assistant

Kiara Peterson

Clothing Stylist

Dorian Richburg

DBQ Magazine is a nationally distributed bimonthly lifestyle publication. Published and

printed in Indianapolis, Indiana. For more information on advertisement, circulation, or articles please visit us at www.DBQMAG.com

Or call 317.500.4327 or 908.656.6218.

Kiara Peterson, editorial

assistant for DBQ, majoring

in Journalism at IUPUI in

Indianapolis, Indiana. She

has a passion for writing.

Quentin Marcellis studies

mass communications in

Washington, DC. He is a

writer and an LGBT

activist as well as an

aspiring model and

fashion journalist. He is a

contributing writer at DBQ.

Page 4: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

DBQ

5. The World According to Matthew

6. FRONT ROLL/ Diamond

8. 10 Ways To Get Your Roses

From A Good Man

10. BALLROOM/ SINIA EBONY &

CEASAR PRODIGY

VOGUEcabulary by

PONY ZION

12. A Porn Star + An Exotic Dancer

- (Sex) = Love [My New Favorite

Couple]

15. BOOKS/ 5 Must Reads

16. SPRING FASHION

23. The Love List /

FIVE THINGS WE EMPHATICALLY

ENDORSE

25. What I've Come To Know /

Dating & Love

2013March/April

David Bridgeforth Quarterly

EVERYWHERE ABOVE THE RAINBOW

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

@DBQMAG / DBQMAG.COM

P.6

P.16P. 25

Page 5: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 4DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

[ Behind the Scene ]

Make Your Next Date A Picnic

NYC JAN/FEB RELEASE PARTY AT Culture Club

1. Designer Bronson Johnson and

Dave on the red carpet at the

Fashion Week Kickoff Party at CLUB

XL in NYC. 2. Dave and celebrity

Hairstylist, Derek J. 3. Dave with

friends Ty Hunter and Pony Zion.

1 2

3

Follow Dave's Life on INSTAGRAM

@BRIDGEFORTH

Page 6: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 5 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

THE WORLD

ACCORDING TO Mat!ew

DBQ's Entertainment Editor shares what he's crazy about this Issue.

4 New Albums I'm Crazy About...

The App I Am loving... JackThreads has become one of

my favorite apps. It's a lovely way to

get amazing deals on some great

clothes. But Be careful it becomes

addictive.

1. Alice Russell - 'To Dust'

2. RHYE 'Woman'

3. Shoshana Bean - 'O'Farrell Street'

4. Bilal - 'A Love Surreal'

Favorite New Protein Bars... Quest Protein Bars - These are the

best bars on the market when it

comes to Protein bars that are

actually healthy. With 21 grams of

protein, no sugar, gluten free, very

low-carb only 3g active carbs, low-

calorie and the highest amount of

fiber you'll find in a protein bar. Find

them at GNC or online at

questproteinbar.com Chocolate

Brownie & Chocolate Chip Cookie

Dough are my favorite.

Favorite Teeth Whitening Device... GLO Brilliant Personal

Teeth Whitening

Device.

In my opinion this is

the best at home

Teeth whitening kit

available. Making teeth

noticeably whiter in

just days and causing

no sensitivity that

other at home

whitening systems

cause. Available at

Sephora.

What I Am Reading At The Moment... Rachel

Maddow 'Drift'

Page 7: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 6DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

][ FRONT ROLL

DIAMOND

On Hair, Relationships & Music

Page 8: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 7 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

DBQ- What sparked you to do

a hairline?

Diamond: My hair stylist and

wardrobe stylist were helping

me transition into making sure

that my hair weave was on

point, and that it was top of the

line hair style. I had been

getting so many compliments

on my hair; I decided that I

wanted to match my brand with

another company that has

good quality hair, which I could

really support. I wanted to make

sure that this was something

that I could wear. I’m excited

about it

DBQ- You do look good in it.

Diamond- Thank you. I just feel

like owned it. It was like a

perfect marriage. A lot of times

I’m wearing hair, and yeah I feel

good about the hair that I’m

wearing, but I don’t really know

much about it. I know only so

much and each time that I have

sitting down with Pink Blush

Hair, I’m learning so much more

about hair, and the quality and

were to get it from. Like the

difference between this pattern

and that pattern, just being

more hands on makes the

clients and the fans know that

Diamond Dior is good, and that

this is apart with what I have.

It’s new, fun, and fresh. We’re

going to make sure they have it,

I’m excited about it.

DBQ: How do people get ahold

of it?

Diamond: You can go to

PinkBlushhair.com or

DiamondDiorhair.com to order

it. When you get your hair done

its therapeutic, hair is art within

itself. A lot of women want to

feel good about themselves. To

me that’s really how people

perceive you. If you have nappy

hair in your head people are

going to look at you a certain

kind of way. If you have some

good quality hair in your head,

then people will come to you

and ask who did your hair. It’s a

difference between using the

hairweave in the Chinese store,

and the Pink Blush Diamond

Dior hair. It doesn't tangle and it

doesn’t shed, and it takes color.

A lot of girls and women follow

me, they know I love color, so

that was the main thing that I

wanted to make sure that my

product, or line did. The hair

can hold color or dye without

shedding and freezing. It’s

something that can last longer

than just one time with you

wearing it.

DBQ: There are so many gay

hair stylist and drag queens

who love your hair line.

Diamond: You can’t forget

about the gay community. I'm a

supporter of the community

and my apology if I seem to

over step you guys. I have had

the gay support me since

Crime Mob days, I can’t forget

about you all.

DBQ: Why did you leave Crime

Mob?

Diamond: Crime Mob actually

kicked me out of the group.

DBQ: How did you feel about

that?

Diamond: We were young, it

was a lot of people in our ears

pulling us different directions,

and we were forced into it at a

young age. At the time I was

upset, but I knew I had to move

forward. Bills have to get paid, I

have a family that depends on

me. I’m not one that will quit, I

may fall down but I will dust

myself off and I get back up. I

never quit, I'll die trying that’s

the kind of person I am.

DBQ: Now what are your

feelings about them?

Diamond: I still love them

though, it’s no bad blood.

DBQ: Are you signed to a label?

Diamond:Let’s just say I have a

situation; I’m going to make an

announcement about it.

DBQ: Why did you turn down

the offer to be in Love&HipHop

Atlanta?

Diamond: It didn’t help the

Diamond brand, if I’m on TV

acting crazy or I’m put into a

situation where I have to show

out, how is it going to help my

brand. I have a lipstick deal,

hairline deal and all these other

great things that you have yet

to hear about for 2013, how is it

going to help the Diamond

brand.

DBQ: How do you feel about Lil

Scrappy?

Diamond: Next subject, nobody

is about to get their shine in my

interview.

DBQ: How do you feel about

other females in the rap game?

Diamond: I definitely think we

need more, I see everybody is

on their grind.

DBQ: Anybody in particular that

you like right now?

Diamond: I like Azealia Banks,

and Iggy.

DBQ: Are you working on any

new music?

Diamond: Of course. I have

been working on my album

since Christmas of last year. I

have new music, new material,

and new singles. I’m more of a

Spring and Summer time artist,

as far as like the music that

people are used to hearing from

Crime Mob, so were going to

start off with that, and take

everybody on a journey to

where Diamond is now.

DBQ: Who do you want to

collaborate with?

Diamond: I would love to

collaborate with Dr. Dre and

Timberland.

DBQ: Are you still dating Soulja

Boy?

Diamond: I’m single. A

relationship is good and single

is good. It doesn’t make me,

I’m good either way. A lot of

people are scared to be single,

because they don’t know who

they are or happy with

themselves. Being single allows

me more time to respect

myself, and being in a

relationship allows me to be a

wonderful partner, and being a

wonderful partnership allow me

to help my mate and my mate

to help me.

DBQ: Don’t you think that

relationships are hard in the

spotlight?

Diamond: Yes. I just know that

anything is going to be hard.

Relationships that are hot in the

public eye are hard to; it’s about

give and take. When you’re in

the public eye you have

people’s opinions, and there

morals might not go along with

your morals, that’s more shit on

top of shit.

DBQ: What was the inspiration

behind your mix tape “The

Young Life?”

Diamond: The young life was

my street LP, it was a snippet of

what the album was going to

sound like. A lot of people

didn’t know that I could stretch

or that I was versatile. I touched

on different subjects on different

shit to let people know that I

hear, and I see them and don’t

think for one minute that it’s not

gone get addressed, but it was

just enough to pacify the fans. I

have been working so hard on

this album, and making sure

that it’s right. I had to give my

attention to the other project

that I was working on, but I

didn’t want to abandon my fans

from the music. I also drop

webisodes on my website

diamondatl.com. I try to do

those if not once a week or

every other week, to kind of let

them know what I’m doing

when I’m not tweeting.

Basically I show what I’m doing

behind the scenes, if I’m on the

road, doing radio, or interacting

with the fans. I let the fans see

different elements of me. I also

dropped a video called

“American Women” ft. Verse

Simmonds; this should be on

106&Park very soon. I really

want to continue playing those

visuals out for The Young Life,

and get ready for the album so

it can drop when it’s hot, I’m

excited.

Q&A

DBQ

Page 9: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 8DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

10 WAYS TO GET

YOUR ROSES FROM

A GOOD MAN

1. Become Equally Attached: When

you’re dating someone it is very

important that you are both on the

same page especially with your

feelings towards one another. There is

nothing worse than being attached to

someone who is not attached to you.

Your calling and texting him more

than he calls and text’s you, that’s not

cute, nor does it feel good to you. Its

ok if you already feel a sense of

attachment to someone, but it’s not

wise to show that feeling if the other

person has not shown you the same.

Back off a little, and wait until you

know for sure that you both have an

equal attachment to each other. If not

then don’t give off that vibe too much

or you might lose him or even scare

him away. Save yourself from

disappointment. Wait until you know

for sure the attachment is mutual.

After all, only equals fall in love.

2. Have High Standards and Low

Expectations: We are all guilty of

raising our expectations high for

someone who hasn’t given us a

reason for them to be so high in the

first place. You meet someone one

day, you start growing more attached,

and attracted. So much to the point

where you start expecting them to be

someone and do things they may or

may not be or do. Then when things

don’t work out you get your

heartbroken, or feelings hurt. You

have to learn to keep those

expectations low, and if you have

those expectations make sure they

gave you a reason to hold on to them

and that reason would be because

they were agreed upon. Your

standards should always be higher

than your expectations. For example

how you should be treated, what you

deserve, and what you will and will

not tolerate. Having high standards

for yourself and low expectations for

love interest will save you from

ultimately being hurt and

disappointed in the long hall. Never

apologize for having high standards, if

someone is truly interested in you,

they will rise up to meet them.

3. Be Unbothered: The perfect

transition from number two. Being

‘Unbothered’ means to not stress or

be press. If you happened to have

unfulfilled expectations, that weren't

on, don't show that they bother you,

because you shouldn't have then in

the first place. It’s not attractive to be

stressed and pressed over someone

you are just dating or getting to

know. We all love JayZ because he is

always unbothered. He is so not

pressed about anything and if he is,

we don't know it. Learn to relax and

play your cards right. Learn to dance

to the rhythm of the flow, and allow

each other individual freedom,

especially if you’re not even in a

committed relationship. If you have

texted him or called him and he is

slow to respond, or hasn’t

responded, don’t let it show that it

bothers you. Be unbothered. The

easiest way to do this is to surrender

your attention and care of the

situation and focus it else where for

the time being; like yourself.

It is only from my many failed attempts of dating different, unique men, and searching for this thing called “love” (eventually leading to heartbreak

and disappointment) that I have learned the strategy and tactics of dating. “You live, and you learn” a very true statement especially regarding

your romantic life. Just like with everything in life, everything takes practice and rhythm. You would think dating would be simple. You like me I

like you, let’s cut out all the extra and just be together. Dating has changed and continues to change so much. It’s a war. It’s a “game.” There is

this invisible rule book floating around of things to do and not do, and if you don’t know the rules, its game over for you. You most certainly are

not guaranteed to find your soul mate on the first try, at least most of us don’t. But if I know one thing for sure, it’s that people come in to your life

to teach you more about yourself. They craft and mold us into the person we are meant to be, to prepare us for the person that we are all

ultimately meant to be with. I’m reminded of a quote by the infamous ‘Frank Ocean’ in which he states “You came into my life for a reason. Either

you’re a blessing or a lesson.” It is from experiencing and dating these different individuals that I have learned the do’s and do NOT’S of dating.

As well as what the title appropriately says “How to get your roses.” So from my experiences thus far I have come up with ten beneficial and

successful ways I’ve learned to date successful, smart, and get your roses from a ‘good’ man.

Words/ David Bridgeforth & Quentin Marcellis

Page 10: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 9 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

4. Let Things Flow: It’s very vital that

you always take your time and not

rush anything. Pay attention to the

flow that he’s going with and stick

with that flow. If he’s not ready to be

in a relationship and just wants to

get to know you better, it’s your

choice whether or not that’s what

you would like to do. And if you

choose to go that route just let

things flow, and work out on their

own. Your aim should never be

forcing things to work out, or move

faster. Time will tell you everything

you need to know, you just have to

practice patience.

5. Pay Attention To The Feedback:

Actions speak louder than words.

Pay attention to what his actions

and responses are telling you in the

beginning, which we label

feedback. Pay close attention to the

way he responds to you. We can

get so wrapped up in infatuation

with someone that we tend to

ignore important things that he is

unintentionally trying to tell you

about his personality, and the way

he responds to you.

Communication is everything when

it comes to making relationships

work. Without communication

relationships fail. Feedback is

another form of communication

through actions.

6. Never Put all your eggs in his

basket: It’s always appropriate to

have a backup plan. Never give

someone all of you , and make

them the plan A. You should always

look out for yourself at the end of

the day, and not make him the main

priority but an option. As I stated

before, play your cards right, never

lay them all out on the table. Just

focus on getting to know him and

less on investing into him. Don’t

forget to explore your options and

know your options. There are plenty

of fish in the sea. With that being

said don’t get stuck on one. Never

show that your stuck on him, that’s

playing not to lose.

7. Play To Win: You want to make sure

that you are playing to win and not

playing to not lose. What does that

mean? Well when you are playing to

not lose you are basically doing

everything you can to keep him

around and get the outcome with

him that you want. Meaning you’re

going out of your way to please him

and do things for him, so that you

somehow keep his interest in you.

Playing to lose pretty much makes

you look insecure, clingy, and

desperate. Playing to win is no

matter what the outcome is, you

remained true to yourself. You’re

playing all your cards right and

excepting the outcome, no matter

what happens. When you are

playing to win you are drawing him

more in to you, because of your

unbothered mindset. Think of

playing to win as staying in your

lane while dating someone, or

knowing your worth.

8. Remember Your Value: One of the

most important tips, know your

value. Know that you are special,

you deserve nothing but that the

best, and to be treated with

respect. Every day as humans we

are constantly showing people how

to treat us but what we allow, what

we stop, and what we reinforce.

You can’t expect someone to value

and respect you, if you don’t even

value and respect yourself. Knowing

your value also means loving

yourself unconditional and realizing

that if things don’t work out with

someone, that’s not your lose at all.

When your dating someone,

knowing your value will help to keep

your sanity, when things are not

going the way you had hoped.

9. Never Be Powerless: This mean

several things, never surrender

complete control of your self or life

for someone else. It also means

never play small in an relationship,

as in dumbing yourself down to

please someone else. Often times

when we like someone we want it

to work out so much that we are

willing to surrender our power to

them because we think that will

keep them around, retain their

attention, and validate us. When

you give your power away not only

do they get the best of you, you

lose the best of you. It's a form of

devaluing yourself, because you

then are subliminally saying your not

worthy enough to have, hold , and

own your own power.

10. Be Full Of Yourself: Now many of

you may think that this is an

unattractive trait to have but if done

correctly with little or no ego it could

save you from getting caught up in

false flattery. Being full of yourself is

being filled up completely with your

own loving and healthy views of

yourself. This is important because

how empty of you to be full of other

people, their opinions, and their

views of you. You need to know

that you are beautiful, smart, and

valuable; so that when a man says

your beautiful you don't lose

yourself or your panties. You must

know who you are so a man's

words are a simple compartment

not a fulfilling experience. Being full

of ones self is knowing that you are

whole and complete all by yourself.

And that is a healthy empowering

place to be.

WAYS TO GET YOUR ROSES FROM A GOOD MAN

10

DBQ

Page 11: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 10DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

Ballroom Culture ][

DBQ: Where did the idea of Ballroom Throwback come from?

Ceasar: The idea of ballroom throwback originally started in 2009.

YouTube was pretty hot for the ballroom scene at the time, but basically

showed new clips, so I wanted to put up a bunch of old clips just to

show the scene who paved the way.

DBQ: How does it feel?

Ceasar: I really don’t think I’m the father. I would say I’m one of the

people that are pushing out the new plat form for other people just

getting with the times, because back in the day it was only VHS tapes

and then it went to DVD. I just wanted to provide media for everyone

around the world, so people can see the talent.

DBQ: Why did you step down from being Mother Ebony, was it because

of your hot new show, 'SINIA HAS THE JUICE'?

Sinia: Well not specifically my show, but I was just ready to not have the

weight of that house on my shoulders. I was ready to just be me. It’s a

title driven time right now, and everybody wants to be legendary in

ballroom. Everybody wants to be mother of the house; so many people

are fighting for this title. I wanted to show in a leadership type of way that

a title is not really important; it’s who you are as an individual. I step

down as mother to show them. I gave the title to Shanice, because she

wanted to be mother. As far as myself, I just wanted to do that to help

my community, I love my community and I want to give back.

DBQ: What sparked this show, what was behind all of that?

Sinia: So many years’ people have told me that I really didn't know the

impact that I have on people. I would listen to it but I would be like, oh

no these people don’t care about what I have to say. Ceasar is my best

friend and once he started “Ballroom Throwback,” I really loved what he

was doing. So we decided to try and see what we could create. I trust

him and know that he is going to make sure that everything worked well,

and as far as my end he made sure that I didn’t look bad in any way.

Once we tried it, everyone loved it; it started taking a life of its own.

People really talked about our topics for weeks as well as fighting and

debating them. It’s just crazy how much this show helps people. So

many people have email me and tell me that I saved their lives. I help

them get through tuff situations; it’s overwhelming sometimes because I

never expected it to get this big.

DBQ: How important is family in the ballroom community?

Ceasar: Well we all entered each other life when we were very young.

Sinia entered my life I was only 19 going on 20 years old. She is my best

friend; it was sort of like a mother figure. As far as the scene goes she

was somebody that was in the scene way longer them me, and had a lot

of knowledge to give me, and also a lot of advice. Sometimes I didn’t

want to hear it but it was for the better for me. So when I met Pony

Meka, and Alora, who passed away in 2009 it became a family and

much more than that. We didn’t know how we would impact with each

other from back then to now. So when you say Pony was a not, to me

Pony was a young kid that needed guidance. When I look back now 13

years ago I would never think about ballroom throwback, or vogue

evolution or Sinia having the juice. A lot of the young kids get abandoned

by their real family and they turn to ballroom, and they turn to houses for

that family figure. We had a family within that family in the scene, so it

was really different because we had a lot of situations that people would

never know about. As far as arguments and fighting, memories that

could never be replaced. The family thing is really deep for me on a lot

of levels.

DBQ: Tell me about you alls friendship, and why is it special?

Sinia: I think because we are honest to each other. We tell each other

things when in fact we don’t want to hear them; I mean we have each

other back in all situations good or bad, and the indifference. Our

friendship surpassed that. My blood family loves him and adores him,

and vise versa.

Ceasar: To elaborate, its time where she gets on my nerves but it’s

always for the better for me. That’s something you can’t really get from a

lot from people. She tells me things that I don’t want to hear, but it’s for

the best of me. She always has my best interest at heart. Even though it

may come off as harsh, or I may be stubborn to it she always shows

how much she loves me, and why she is telling me these things. One

thing I can say about our friendship that this friendship to me is an

evolution. I feel like our friendship evolves throughout the years. I’ve

learned so much from her, I keep on learning from her that’s why it’s a

friendship for me that is everlasting, compared to other friendships that

lasted a short period of time.

Ballroom

ROCKSTARS SINIA EBONY

&

CEASAR PRODIGY

Page 12: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 11 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

PONY ZION

Performance[VOGUE]CABULARY P

Words/

Photo/ Cory Malcolm

A Person can learn the five elements in 2013 and swear they know how to vogue. At least now a days this may be true, yet, one who knows why they are voguing can master the element of performance. Knowing how to vogue is what you need to get through a battle or to get your 10s, but when you know why you are voguing, at that very moment you can experience your body expressing itself in art. As I grew older, I worried less about legends I wanted to slay, trying to be legend, or other houses gathering their dramatic kids together for me to battle. Victory for me was tackling the opportunity to create my own style of vogue every time the soles of my black foam posit sneakers touched the runway. I have been walking balls for 15 years and I have never been chopped. I have 13 'Vogue Of The Year Awards', 3'Willy Ninja Awards', and a 'Ballroom Achievement Award', I believe this is because I never focussed on getting my 10s. I had nothing to prove yet I had everything to show. My aim was to bring the crowd to an uproar, to wake up the audience, to challenge my body and mind, and surprise my judges. It was never about not loosing, but always playing to win. I had the confident to be ready when I hit that first pose and I had the humility to know that I had everything to learn from so many others. I remember voguing sessions with icon, Sinia Ebony, as she demanded more from me as she read me. She told me I was missing something in my voguing so I would practiced harder and harder. She never knew how much her saying I did a great job meant to me. I remember Late night voguing battles with my sister, Meaka Prodigy, and her telling me my voguing needs to tell a story. I remember my sister, Alloura Zion, and I giving each other death defying stunts that other people wouldn't dare try. Kristina Sunami stayed at my house in Jersey for two weeks to teach me lines and the importance of technique. My aunt, kevin Prodigy, helping me understand the importance of grace, even in dramatics vogue. I can never forget the person who trained me since I was 16 years old, my father, Ceasar Prodigy, having me study ball tapes, telling me what I should not do, and how I should look on the runway. He would make me recap my own performance after I walked. My brothers, Malechi and Arturo, practicing everyday for hours critiquing one another's elements and creating ideas on how we can revamp our categories.

This work ethic is what makes a performer. I never really focussed to much on mini balls, I saved my all for the major balls. When on big stages like the 'Latex Ball' or the 'POCC Ball', I feel like Janet or Beyonce. It's only me, the stage, the lights, the crowd, and the gift of vogue that I have to share. Voguing is how I do it, that's the easy part. Performance is what I do. JUDGES YOUR SCORES!

DBQ: So what advice would you give to a junior fem queen?

Sinia: Be true to yourself; try not to be a follower. Second of all don’t

feel too big to where you can’t ask somebody even if it’s a stranger. I

feel like if it’s something you don’t know ask somebody, because why

take a risk of trying it yourself and paying for the consequences of its

going wrong, when you can put your pride to the side. I don’t mind the

younger girls reaching out to me about surgery or other things. I will

give them my best advice, because if you don’t know you should ask

somebody that would know, and tell you if you ask. Basically be true to

yourself and be willing to ask if you don’t know, because once you

mess up sometimes you can’t fix things.

DBQ: How do you feel that you have changed?

Sinia: When I was mother Ebony it was different time in my life,

because I was a very selfish individual. I was self-centered it was all

about me. I could care less about anyone else, and I feel now that I

have totally evolved. I’m still changing and growing into a bigger and

better person. I care about people and I want to help. I want to be there

for the youth and I’m willing to use myself as an instrument to better the

scene, and better the community. I’m shocked at myself some days.

DBQ: What sparked that?

Sinia: When I was younger me and my dad we never had the best

relationship, now me and him have an amazing relationship. My life is

so full right now; I have so many amazing things around me. I feel

blessed that I want to share that, I just can’t keep that to myself. It’s like

for me to keep that to me, I feel like I’m wasting it. I feel my purpose

here.

Ceasar: Most definitely I think the younger me from now that I changed

drastically on so many levels, personally levels, and emotionally levels.

I’ve gone through some experience that force me to look at myself and

change for the best, and also eliminate certain people and elements out

of my life.

DBQ: Here is the million dollar question: Why is there so much violence,

drugs, prostitution, escort, and crafting in ballroom? And Will it ever

change?

Sinia: I think that we are our worst enemy. I think that the minute that

one of us gets an opportunity somebody tries their hardest to pull us

down, or take the opportunity away from us. I don’t think we promote

each other or push each other towards positivity. I think as far as drugs,

I see these adults quick to give these babies drugs, and put them on

drugs, so they can have them. Where there is drugs come and

insecurities and shade, which provokes violence, it all goes hand and

hand. Until we all get together and try to make a difference. It’s never

going to change.

Ceasar: I think a lot of it has to do with how these children are being

introduced to the scene. A lot of these children come in here with no

families they get lashed on to these houses, and lashed on to older

individuals as role models. A lot of the leaders introduce different ways.

Young kids think this is the only way to survive in the scene. For

example a lot of transgender don’t know about how to get there named

changed. They don’t know have the proper education to get a job, so

they do prostitution or escort. I think that's why a lot of people are

exposed to certain things. I feel like a lot of the agencies are so focused

on HIV prevention and HIV awareness, they also need to expand other

things, educating the youth like job, and to learn the ropes and how to

navigate through the world.

DBQWords/David Bridgeforth Photo/ OZ LIN ( Oscar Linares)

Page 13: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 12DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

A PORNSTAR + An EROTIC DANCER -

(SEX) = LOVE My new favorite couple, adult film star Envy and popular go go dancer Suki talk about their intimate love, mind-blowing sex, and progressing careers; and how this two year love affair has them ready to jump the broom.

ENVY & SUKI

Interview/ David Bridgeforth Photos/ Swaggboiz Ent.

Page 14: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 13 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

DBQ: How did you meet?

Suki: We met in 2011 at the

Dallas Black Pride, we pretty

much met at a bar called

Lolita’s, and he came there to

perform. It was an event put on

by his house dad, and it was

love at first sight.

DBQ:Where you performing, or

was he just performing?

Suki: Yea, we both were

performing he performed on that

Friday night, and then I was

performing on the Saturday

night. So we both got to see

how we expressed ourselves on

stage, and when I saw him

performed I was smiling my butt

off. I was sitting in the back with

porn star Remy Mars and

another friend, and we were

sitting back watching him

perform, and my house dad

who was also promoting in

Dallas who goes by the name

James Cooper. He whispered in

my ear do you like that, I said I

loved it but I never told him that.

DBQ: You never knew that

Envy?

Envy: When I met him I was

drunk, I was so drunk it was

99cent margaritas and I was

getting vamped off those things.

I didn’t want him to see how I

looked so they put a coat over

my head, and they took me out

the club, and put me in a jag

and escorted me to a friend so I

could get myself together. Then

the next day I was running

around the hotel saying have

you seen Suki, what room is he

in and that was pretty much it.

DBQ: Who approached who?

Envy: We approached each

other actually; it wasn’t one

person we met in a hallway

DBQ: How did you know he

liked you?

Envy: The whole time he was

eye balling me in the bar when

we were at Lolita’s.

DBQ: Did you know of him?

Suki- He was originally

supposed to be my mentor. A

month before pride kicked off

we had weekly meetings and

every time they would bring up

entertainment, Envy was the

very first topic and they were

trying to figure that maybe he

could take me under his wing,

and lace me up on the game

since he was well seasoned as

an entertainer all around. But

then we ran into each other in

the hallway of the hotel room

and we were crammed up the

entire weekend by choice.

DBQ: This was in 2011

Envy: There was no sex, we

talked about what we had in

common on life experiences,

and we just laid down and we

pretty much just spent the

whole weekend together, and it

wasn’t walking around we were

locked in our hotel room just

talking.

DBQ: There was no sex?

Suki/Envy: No

DBQ: Why do you think there

was no sex?

Envy: It wasn’t about anybody

else, me being 35 I’ve dated

and been in relationships, and

this time I saw something

different. Once we got together

we wanted to make sure that

this was right. Now for us we

put it to a test to see was this

relationship based off of love,

and also if we could withstand

not having sex for a while. We

set a time period of could we

last living together. So we knew

it wasn’t based off of lust, it was

really based off of love and that’s

how we did it.

Suki: Coming from my point of

view it was incredible hard. I

watched him perform for the

first time; it was like a kid in the

candy store. We had to basically

figure out if it was real or was it

just based off of lust. Before

pride, everybody had spoken so

highly of Envy as an entertainer.

We were together the entire

weekend, we were only apart for

the few hours, and that was for

him to get ready to perform that

Friday night. But Saturday night

when he came back to the hotel

room, and that was our final

night for pride and we were

about to cross that threshold, he

stopped which forced me to

stop, and then basically that

conversation got pretty much

heated but not in a bad way, but

more in an emotional way. He

was like I’m 35 years old, I don’t

have time for the bullshit, I need

to know if this is real or not, if it’s

not I can walk out this door. I

was head over heels for him at

after that. You would be

surprised how quickly you can

fall in love with someone, it only

took me three hours to sit in the

car and figure it out.

DBQ: How old where you at the

time?

Suki: I was 21.

DBQ: So was this different for

you and the other guys you

dated?

Suki: Yea, he is well seasoned

mentally. It’s like when you come

across a soul like that you have

to basically up your mentality. I

was well grounded, but then

you find somebody that will

challenge your level, you have to

take it up a notch. I just fell in

love with him. We basically had

to challenge each other.

DBQ: How long until you did

have sex?

Suki: Four months.

Envy: It was actually supposed

to be 90 days, but we added

another month on just to be

sure that everything was right.

DBQ: Once you had sex what

was the conversation then?

Envy: We just knew that it was a

done deal.

DBQ: Was it a long distance

relationship, you were in New

York and he was in Texas?

Envy: He moved to New York

that following month, the first of

November.

DBQ: He moved for you?

Suki: We made it official

September 30th, that was our

last performance together. I

moved to New York November

1st. We tested it out to see if we

could handle the distance

between that time frame, and

then a month later I came home

to New York, we made our

intimacy official, that was the

test of our wills, which, by the

way was hard as hell. When you

move somebody in with you,

you have doubts about what if I

move him here and he messes

with somebody else which

would of made him act a fool.

But for me I’m an old soul, I

don’t have time for games and I

told him it’s you that I want.

DBQ: So the sex was amazing?

Suki/Envy: Yup Yup.

DBQ: How long have you been

together?

Suki: Two years and some

change.

DBQ: Explain how the sex is?

Envy: People think we have

crazy sex and people are asking

us to do threesomes, but for us

sex is totally different. It can be

intimate; we can just hold each

other or cuddle up and pick a

movie for the night. I will cook a

dinner, because I am a very

good cook. Our intimacy level

can get real. If you over

sexualize your relationship it can

damage the relationship, Having

"If you over sexualize your relationship it can damage the relationship..."

Page 15: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 14DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

sex too much steers you to

other people because you get

bored of doing it. We try so

many different ways to spice up

the relationship, which I’m not

going to tell you other ways.

DBQ: Ha. Yes, you are. What

other ways?

Envy: We randomly look for

other couples and go on

couple’s retreats and go away

and we do a little four play and

we watch the couple get it on,

and then we will get it on.

DBQ: Does Suki get territorial?

Envy: When we do what we do

its certain rules and we won’t

break the rules. He is really

picky. For me I can say a certain

guy is cute and that I really want

to get the guy, if he says no then

it’s a no, I won’t argue with him.

He just really selective with who

he wants. Me being an adult

entertainer I have sworn secrecy

policy. Its gets to the point

where I have to have you sign

an affidavit, saying its certain

things that you can’t let out this

house. What we do here stay

here. We possibly run into

people in the club, and they

don’t speak about what we do

at my house, that’s how I like it.

That’s only way we do what we

like.

DBQ: On an average, how many

times do you have sex in a

week?

Suki: We basically get intimate

once every few months.

DBQ:You guys only have

intercourse once every few

months, why is that?

Suki: Well honestly we both are

mature and at a higher mental

level. The 20’s and the early 30’s

is where sex rules the world, but

you can’t do that with someone

who has been there and done

that. I had to step my level up

and control myself. I can take

this to the grave when it goes

down, it goes down.

DBQ: Is it planned sex or is it

spontaneous?

Envy: It’s so weird; when we get

intimate it feels like the first time.

We had a bed, we wore that

bed out to were we broke the

legs off the bed.

DBQ: Then why don’t you want

that every week?

Envy: We done it on the floor,

we done it on my fire escape

while it’s raining. We get intimate

it’s just not an everyday thing.

We do a lot of stuff; we watch

porn we will beat off to it

together. Or like I will run

around naked or shake my butt

in front of him, and tease him

and he will chase me around the

house.

Suki: It’s like building suspense,

because when it happens its

mind blowing and its very long.

DBQ: Who us doing who? Do

you guys have a versatile

relationship?

Envy: When I'm doing porn its

different, I’m getting paid to do

what I do and I do it well. People

may think they know because

were on stage, and we do what

we do, but it’s totally different in

the bed. He is more of a verse

top, but I’m versatile. When I top

him It’s really hard to complete

the job because he is not used

to bottoming. I compromise a

lot and take his 12 inches, it

takes him so long to have an

orgasm and sometimes I think

he holds back, because it feels

so good and I just be like oh my

God. He just wears me out and

after that I need a drink of water,

and a cigarette. Ha.

DBQ: A cigarette, you need a

shot. Ha

DBQ: What has this relationship

taught you about yourself?

Envy: You know what that’s a

good question, it taught me that

I’m really worth something,

because my last relationship he

was a younger boy, a lot

younger than Suki. I felt that I

wasn’t worth anything, and that

nothing mattered. I really

changed and I’m more

confident. My last relationship

the guy talked about me and

really just downed me, and

cheated on me. So now I’m

calmer. My mind is now focused

on things I need to do. Being in

the last relationship he was

alright, while I was falling apart.

So now I’m more focused, I

know what I want and I dream

big.

Suki: It taught me a lot. This

relationship lets me know that

this is not a game. The whole

aspect of a relationship is not a

game period. When you love

somebody you have to love

them, you have to love them

regardless of their faults, or what

they do. Let’s face it, take it from

us where jumping the broom

here soon. It just taught me how

to love somebody in the mist of

their faults, because I have

plenty of them on my own. If he

could love me through my faults,

then it would be a piece of cake

to love him through his.

DBQ: How do you feel about

Envy doing porn?

Suki: I don’t watch his movies.

When I first met him I didn’t

know he was a porn star. When

you love somebody regardless

of what they do, you learn to

look pass that. One thing I’m

not gone do is tell him to stop,

why would I tell somebody to

stop doing what they want to

pursue, that’s ridiculous. That’s

like him telling me to stop

dancing or not to pursue my

dreams, I’m gone look at him

like he got some shit on his

face. So I’m not going to tell him

to stop doing something that

has been a part of his life for

quite sometimes. He doesn’t

bring his work home, so I’m

good. I don’t have a problem

with it, it’s about the money.

What he does is what he does; I

just have to look pass it. He is

human just like I am.

DBQ: Envy, did you think that it

was going to be a problem in

your relationship?

Envy: I didn’t really care.

Throughout my 15 years in the

business I have had doctors,

lawyers, police officers, and FBI

agents that I used to date, and

they knew I was in it, and they

asked me to give it up. One

thing I have learned growing up

through the years, my first

boyfriend I dated beat my ass

and abused me. I lived with him

and I was dependent on him

after he kicked me out of his

house, that’s how I became a

dancer. I said there would be no

other man in this world that will

ever take away my

independence again, you either

with me or not with me. So I

became very strong after the

first beat down, I thought that

this someone was my world and

he cheated on me, and locked

me out of the house to leave me

sleeping in the stairwells. So I

learned a valuable lesson if you

can’t accept me for what I do

then you’re not really for me.

Like he said when I work it stays

at work, when I come home it's

home. I don’t tell him about the

scene and what position it was

done in; my money gets

deposited in the bank when I

get that check. It’s nothing to

worry about as long as I’m

bringing home bread, but if I go

out and shoot a movie and bring

home no money, then it’s a

problem.

DBQ: What do you want this

relationship to create?

Envy: As far as Swaggboiz

Entertainment that’s a dream for

me, but his dream is about to

come true, he got an audition

with Cirque du Soleil in Canada,

and that is his dream. He is 22

he has a lot going for his self.

When I was his age I used to

model for Phat Farm and Fubu.

We have a bright future. I’m not

a failure and neither is he.

Suki:I agree with my baby, he

has his company and I have my

dreams to be a performer with

Cirque du Soleil. The thing is

that you have to grow, and have

a partner that has your best

interest at heart. Why would you

be with somebody if you don’t

give a damn about what they

want in life, or what they want

out of life? You have to have

your man’s best interest at

heart.

DBQ

Page 16: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 15 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

[ Books ] DIVA by Stanley Bennett Clay

Award-winning author Stanley Bennett Clay originally published DIVA in 1988. Now, 25

years later DIVA has been re-issued. The book serves as an ageless beauty of a

storyline that is still refreshingly relevant today. The story revolves around Ida Lake,

who was known as "The Diva" to her millions of fans when she reigned as Hollywood's

black singing sensation of the 1940s. After the suspicious deaths of the husband she

adored and the daughter she worshiped, Ida’s career and sanity collapse and she

retreats abroad. Two decades later, she is coaxed into a comeback as the star of a

new Broadway musical. But tragedy stalks Ida Lake once again as a mysterious web

of intrigue, sex scandal and murder envelops the show.

The B.E.D: the bold, erotic, and dangerous. by Langston John Blaze

Langston John Blaze’s The B.E.D. infuses sexual impulses throughout these 14 erotic

short stories that are filled with suspense, drama, mystery, and thrills. The book has

received positive reviews due to Langston John Blaze’s well-written stories. “A taste of

seduction is never enough for the bold, erotic, and dangerous. Enter a world where

inhibitions are limited and the hunger to fulfill a lustful craving is needed. Yet,

sometimes the cravings we feel are needed the most are the ones that cut right

through our skin and leave us hurt in the end... emotionally, mentally, and even

physically.” (amazon.com)

Can You Feel What I'm Saying?: An Erotic Anthology James Earl Hardy

The best-selling author of the B-Boy Blues series, James Earl Hardy, brings us his first

collection of short stories with Can You Feel What I'm Saying? The book contains 7

short stories and a bonus short, all of which highlight various aspects of scandalous

tales. “Whether it's the maintenance man making a much needed house call ("Booty,

By Jake"), a 40-year-old "born again" virgin falling in lust with his 20-year-old former

student ("How Stanley Got His Back In Groove"), a porn star trying to stay aroused—

and awake—while filming his final movie ("The Last Picture. Show."), or a blind man

proving that sight isn't a prerequisite for bringing another pleasure ("Can You Feel What

I'm Saying?"), Hardy serves… his trademark mix of politics and passion, that are

guaranteed to turn you on—and off.” (amazon.com)

5 Must Reads of the

Spring By DaShawn Usher

(POS)+tively Beautiful by Guy Anthony

(POS)+tively Beautiful is a book of affirmations, advice, and advocacy that also contains

photos and essays. It’s the perfect resource guide for someone newly diagnosed or

coming to terms with their HIV status; it is profoundly useful in understanding the lives of

HIV positive individuals, presenting in a clear and concise manner the next steps post-

diagnosis. Anthony’s book is written from the perspective of the young Black gay male,

the group most affected by the pandemic. (POS)+tively Beautiful breaks the stigma and

sheds light on this vital issue in our community. “This collection of inspiring narratives

gives us the up close and personal story of today’s young black gay men and HIV/AIDS.

Its balance of intimate profiles, photo portraits, practical tips, HIV basics, and affirming

anecdotes compose a custom made almanac. By speaking out with honesty and

integrity (POS)+tively Beautiful demonstrates on behalf of HIV positive black gay men

that we are here and that we do not have to dwell in shame.” (amazon.com)

I Wrote A Book About Him by Hans L Cordova

Hans L. Cordova’s I Wrote A Book About Him is a collective of learned experiences

when it comes to the realizations of love. The book is easily relatable, speaking to

things that we all may have encountered once or twice in our lives—or even more

often. “Love is sought out by everyone with different reasons as to why they search for

it at some point in their lives. Love can also mean something that's always in progress

with the many walls which somehow became part of who we are. It also comes with

confusion, passion, distress, blindness, happiness, with either the forbidden love

lasting long or lasting just a few minutes. The many roller-coaster questions we all can

relate to in so many short stories are what make this book something other than

normal. One thing about love is the ending stays the same.” (amazon.com)

Page 17: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 16DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

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Spring Fashion

Photos/ Felix Mercedes

Page 18: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 17 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

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Page 20: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 19 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

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Page 21: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 20DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

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Page 22: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

Page 21 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

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Page 23: V3I2 DBQ Magazine 'GAY LOVE' Issue MAR/APR 2013

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5

THINGS WE EMPHATICALLY ENDORSE THIS

ISSUE

4

[THE LOVE LIST

3

5

2 Washington, DC based openly gay black Comedian Sampson has to

be the funniest black gay man alive. His new live CD, ' No Tea, No Shade', is a must have in the collection of every LGBT person. For

more info Sampsoncomedy.com

1Langston

John Blaze

] X-RATED

SPIKED

SNAPBACK

Langston John Blaze is a true entertainer of the creative

arts. He is a writer, singer, actor and dancer. You may have

seen him portraying “Trent” in the web-series “Free Fall.”

Blaze also has appeared on VH1’s “Single Ladies” and

USA’s “Necessary Roughness.” He has been an improv

actor since he was a kid with his sister. “We would come

up with scenarios and my sister would end up crying and I

would have to break character to find out if she was acting

or was serious,” said Blaze.

Last summer Blaze started writing a column called “The

Underwear Draw” for Kontrol Magazine. He wrote his first

book, The B.E.D. (Bold Erotic and Dangerous*), at the age

of 21, which is an erotic mystery thriller. “I’ve always

wanted to be a writer, but I started off with art. My mother

is an artist and she draws very well. Slowly but surely the

pictures started to slip off the pages, and the words

started to takeover and before you know it, I was creating

my own stories,” recalled Blaze. He is currently working

on his second novel, which will infuse multiple artistic

aspects into the book, like photography and music for the

book. Catch up with Blaze on Twitter: @LangstonJBlaze or

on Facebook: Langston John Blaze. Words/ DaShawn

Usher

Sampson

My new favorite Hat by Posh Barbie is sexy and edgy. It comes in a few different colors with silver or gold spikes. It retails at $42.00 Get yours today at POSHBARBIE.COM

Dave wearing the

gold Xrated

spiked snap back

at an NYC event.

James Earl Hardy's best selling classic, 'B Boy Blues' was brought to life for one night only as a stage play directed by, acting legend, Stanley Bennett Clay. The quality and well seasoned actors casted in the play gave not only a raw and shocking performance, but they brought the relevance and importance of Mr. Hardy's story back to life. I remember sitting on the front roll with Lonnell Williams and Keith Boykin and being wowed and thinking that every teenage -twenty something young adult needs to experience this amazing black gay love story. Good news is there are talks about another performance in Washington, DC. For more info DBQMAG.COM

BILLIE'S BLACK Billie's Black is my new favorite spot to eat and drink in Harlem NY (119th and 9th Ave). They have these catfish strips that are to die for and their cocktails are always well made. Stop by and experience a black gay owned place to enjoy yourself.

B BOY BLUES

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Page 24DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

(Continued from Pg. 25) Eventually he ended our dating

relationship in a dismissive way saying that he was emotionally

unavailable and wanted to be 'coo' and continue our business

relationship. I tried harder for him to reconsider and to see that I

was in his life for greater reasons but those words fell on deaf ears. I

didn't want a business relationship because I knew that I was

vulnerable and would be taken advantage of and I had been led on

and dragged enough.

I did all I had power to do in order to fix whatever the issues were. If

I had messed up I was willing to fix it, but that wasn't an option. It

took my closest friends, family, and mentors to urge me to let go.

So I listened to wisdom and let go. For weeks I recited Marianne

Williamson's remedy for surrendering in relationships: __________ I

forgive you and I surrender you to the universe. I put his name in

that blank and I said that for weeks; out loud when I was alone and

to myself when I was around others. I said it over and over and

over and over until the pain of rejection, until the hurt, until the

bitterness, until the anger dissipated. Until he wasn't a damn

factor, until I didn't think about him, until the urge to check his

Instagram or Facebook had subsided. I uttered that statement until

I remembered who I was again. Until the self love tanned my skin

and warmed my blood. Until I was no longer black and blue; until I

was in full living color.

Now it takes courage for me to tell you this story, I am very private

about my personal life, but I felt that the lessons I learned were

valuable to you all out there who are dealing with similar situations.

I didn't share this story out of spite, because I could have read him,

ate him, and lit him alive in front of 10s of thousand of you readers

but I didn't because of what I've come to know.

This beautiful dude was 'turnt' which means hurt or done wrong in

gay language, by someone before me and instead of remembering

who he was and healing his heart and forgiving, he became bitter

and hurt. Hurt people, hurt other people. Instead of remaining open

and receiving all the goodness coming, they close their hearts in

pain, anger, and bitterness. They 'turn' the next person that comes

because it's hard to remain open and dare to love. In my case,

instead of being a gift to each other it became my lesson.

Here is what I've come to know: you must always love yourself first

in relationships because many times when we have feelings for

someone or want someone, we stop loving ourselves and we put

them first. We let our wants hurt us which screws us because we

can only love someone as much as we love ourselves and so the

pursuit becomes a lie... A lust thing instead of a love thing. I learned

to tell myself the truth and accept it. I was lying to myself thinking

that things were a way they weren't. Let go or be dragged was a

great lesson for me. I was so afraid to let something I wanted to

walk out of my life. I learned to surrender. I came to know that you

can't force people to treat you right, they unconsciously only treat

you as good as you unconsciously treat yourself. He was ignoring

my calls and texts because I was ignoring the voice of God in me.

The greatest lesson I learned from this experience and what I most

have come to know is to break the cycle. He was hurt, he closed his

heart because of it and hurt me. I was hurt and I could be bitter and

'turn' the next guy who tries to give me the gift of pure love or I

could choose to be better, to evolve, to grow in love. I choose to be

open in spite of who hurt me because if I am completely

responsible for my situation, I hurt me by not choosing me while we

dated. What I've come to know is that if you honor your 'purity box',

your pearl, if you protect it and love it and choose it first at all cost,

then this war of love and dating wont apply to you. There will be no

fighting or games because you will attract to your space what I

didn't, which is a person who sees your value and rises and kisses

you on the forehead and looks you in your eyes and tells you how

honored they are to have you and to love you.

What I've Come To

Know

Follow Me On Twitter @DBRIDGEFORTH

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Page 25 DBQ Magazine Mar/Apr 2013 DBQMAG.COM | @DBQMAG

y mom and grandmother raised me

in Indiana to be a gentleman. To

show respect and care for people

you date, to buy flowers for the

person, to open doors, and pull out

chairs was the norm; so as an adult

those ways of being followed me. I was taught to guard my 'purity

box', which means to always have pure intention and be honest and

true. I thought these characteristics would bring me love easily. I

wasn't prepared for New York at 25 in the gay world.

He was beautiful, full lips, brown skin, a few inches taller than me

with a white smile and a kind heart so I thought. My gay father,

Reggie Wells, said he was a simple muscle bound queen and didn't

see what I saw, but I liked him. There was something about him that

screamed endless possibilities. Our first several dates were dreamy.

I did everything right. I bought dinner, brought flowers, asked all the

right questions and shut my mouth to listen to all of his stories. I

had made mistakes in the past dating guys and had already learned

those lessons and was clear that I was going to be my best self

because I was interested in showing this Harlem raised guy

something special and different. Little did I know that I was walking

into a game that I wasn't prepared to play. The rules were different

in New York; the values I was raised with weren't celebrated as rare,

they were looked upon as weak. Me being authentic and showing

who I really was on the first few dates unbeknownst to me set me

up as a target.

A month into dating after meeting his family and having deep

intimate moments, things began to change. The energy between us

was different. He had always shared less than I had in our

conversations, always more reserved and secretive. I thought it was

just who he was. I knew he had been hurt badly in a past

relationship but he never went into detail or explained what

happened no matter how much I asked. One night in bed as I held

him he told me that he wasn't as much of a hard jerk as he seemed;

he just felt he had to be that way.

I wanted to add to him and support him. My other gay father,

Stanley Bennett Clay, said I was in love with the boy. I disagreed,

because I don't believe you can be in love with someone you have

only known a month and haven't even had sex with. I decided in

spite of the random recent consistent aloofness from him that I

would still show up as a good man and a gentleman. I knew he had

dreams so I began to call all my contacts to help add to his career

in the making. He was happy for the new connections and

accepted the great opportunities I presented. Yet our connection

was dwindling. Then the disrespect began, the ignored calls and

texts, the flirting with other dudes in my face, and the too busy to

spend quality time. To the point, there were only conversations

about the connections and opportunities I presented. The voice of

God in my heart told me softly that this wasn't good, and much to

my chagrin, I broken my rule of mixing business with my personal

life. I ignored that voice and kept hoping to once again see that

beautifully special dude, that glint of innocence in his eyes, which I

saw on our third date. I never saw it; it never came back. My friend,

Pony Zion, said "He wasn't using you, you gave it all to him.

Two months in, I didn't recognize myself. I had forgotten who I was.

I was powerless. I was stuck on this 23 year old boy from Harlem.

Every morning texting him only to receive a response 6 or 7 hours

later, if I even received a response at all, and checking his Instagram

for an update. I was pathetic. I felt if I kept showing him I cared then

the care buried within him that I experienced before would show up

again, but it never did. He responded less and less. I knew he was

dating other boys the whole time but I begin to see him out at the

clubs with them and the dancing on them and hand holding and

flirting made me want to cry. Actually I did cry from being so tired of

trying to show a dude my interest and trying to keep his.

(Continues on Pg. 24)

What I've Come To

Know

Follow Me On Twitter @DBRIDGEFORTH

M

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