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UT Miracles
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Believe in Miracles
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The following list of subtitles/translation/dubbing script is protected by copyright. The rights of the author must therefore be observed at all times.
Infringement of copyright will be prosecuted internationally.
2
0001 10:00:00:00 10:00:01:00
0002 10:00:33:04 10:00:35:24
Believe in Miracles
0003 10:01:33:19 10:01:36:07
Cologne, 731797.
0004 10:01:37:09 10:01:41:13
731797.
0005 10:01:41:23 10:01:45:19
How are you doing? And how's Dirk doing?
0006 10:01:46:04 10:01:49:15
I hope you two aren't working too much.
0007 10:01:51:15 10:01:53:05
Nothing left.
0008 10:01:53:15 10:01:55:12
I'd have drunk it, too. - Huh?
0009 10:01:55:22 10:01:59:16
I'd have drunk it, too. - It tasted like ...
0010 10:02:00:01 10:02:04:05
stale feet, so I did you a real favor.
0011 10:02:08:20 10:02:10:15
Are you getting up now?
0012 10:02:14:19 10:02:16:24
Hey, Britta, it's me, your father.
0013 10:02:17:09 10:02:21:00
I was planning to go to Cologne to see you again
0014 10:02:21:10 10:02:23:18
and not to discuss any problems.
0015 10:02:24:03 10:02:25:17
You aren't very attractive today.
0016 10:02:26:02 10:02:29:18
It's normal for a father to want to see his children,
0017 10:02:30:03 10:02:35:14
but if Dirk isn't up to it, I'll at least get to see you.
0018 10:02:35:24 10:02:38:07
Call me back, please. Bye.
0019 10:02:40:17 10:02:46:00
Hi, Britta, hi, Dirk. Give me a call. It's important.
0020 10:02:46:10 10:02:47:11
Hey, not bad.
0021 10:02:47:21 10:02:50:04
Hi, you two. Britta?
0022 10:02:50:14 10:02:51:14
Damn it.
0023 10:02:52:22 10:02:56:12
Aren't you talking to me anymore, or what's the deal?
0024 10:02:59:04 10:03:03:07
The breakfast table is set as usual.
0025 10:03:08:06 10:03:11:03
Hey, Britta, get off my balls!
0026 10:03:12:11 10:03:15:00
I told you to get off my balls.
3
0027 10:03:45:11 10:03:47:05
I'm coughing heavily.
0028 10:04:08:07 10:04:13:03
Not again! I don't believe it! I did it again ...
0029 10:04:13:13 10:04:18:02
You forgot the coffee, right? - I forgot the coffee again.
0030 10:04:18:17 10:04:23:01
You do it. You're better at it. - Bullshit. You think I'm an idiot?
0031 10:04:23:11 10:04:25:23
Just put in the coffee. Then it works.
0032 10:04:26:08 10:04:28:22
Can't you do it? - Why? You just put in coffee ...
0033 10:04:29:07 10:04:31:21
Another day begins in this frustrating way!
0034 10:04:32:06 10:04:34:20
You're just talking bullshit! - I know.
0035 10:04:35:17 10:04:38:03
Tell that someone else.
0036 10:04:47:00 10:04:50:19
Hey, Mom, you wanna ration my money?
0037 10:04:51:20 10:04:55:24
Yeah, a bit. Hey, think about what you're saying.
0038 10:05:00:02 10:05:01:23
What's it got to do with the money?
0039 10:05:02:16 10:05:05:06
We didn't get to bed until 4:30.
0040 10:05:06:12 10:05:07:12
No way.
0041 10:05:12:20 10:05:15:12
Yeah, got it.
0042 10:05:18:14 10:05:21:15
Yeah, okay. Sure thing. See ya.
0043 10:05:23:03 10:05:25:18
What's going on in her head?
0044 10:05:26:19 10:05:30:03
The cup is hot from the sun. Nice weather today.
0045 10:05:32:04 10:05:34:20
Wanna talk about the weather? - Yeah.
0046 10:05:43:02 10:05:47:16
Know what'd be really cool? If you got me some tobacco.
0047 10:05:48:16 10:05:51:07
Will you? - Sure thing.
0048 10:05:52:12 10:05:55:11
I'm your sister. I'll do anything for you.
0049 10:05:55:21 10:05:57:14
What did you think?
0050 10:07:00:01 10:07:01:23
It's really cool.
0051 10:07:07:07 10:07:11:10
You're kind of a masochist. Now be honest ...
0052 10:07:11:20 10:07:15:20
Just "kind of"? - Why aren't I an only child?
4
0053 10:07:18:09 10:07:23:11
Fucking honey! Instead of putting a good wine on the table,
0054 10:07:23:21 10:07:26:06
I only get this crap.
0055 10:07:26:16 10:07:29:14
You gotta add sugar so it's worth drinking at all.
0056 10:07:29:24 10:07:32:21
I'm drunk, but I still can't sleep.
0057 10:07:33:06 10:07:39:08
It's been going on for three weeks now. Three weeks and no sleep.
0058 10:07:44:09 10:07:50:12
When I got drunk in the past, I could always fall asleep.
0059 10:07:50:22 10:07:53:15
You've had enough to drink already.
0060 10:07:54:00 10:07:57:04
You drank too much, I drank too much. Tomorrow we can get some weed.
0061 10:07:57:14 10:08:00:18
That won't help me tonight. - No, we can get it tomorrow night.
0062 10:08:01:03 10:08:05:00
Yeah, but tomorrow night I have to pick up the motorcycle ...
0063 10:08:05:10 10:08:09:12
I promise we'll pick it up tomorrow night. Anyway ...
0064 10:08:09:22 10:08:13:19
What's the sense of picking it up tomorrow?
0065 10:08:14:04 10:08:15:24
'cause you can't talk me into it now.
0066 10:08:16:09 10:08:21:18
'cause you make up some kind of principle that you think is right,
0067 10:08:22:03 10:08:24:00
but there's nothing to it.
0068 10:08:24:10 10:08:30:02
No thought. All you think is: I can't do it now!
0069 10:08:30:12 10:08:35:06
That's your attitude. You got your mind set on it.
0070 10:08:35:16 10:08:36:16
Brilliant!
0071 10:08:38:14 10:08:44:00
It has nothing to do with it. It's bullshit to get worked up about it.
0072 10:08:45:00 10:08:48:02
If we'd gone there, everything'd be fine now.
0073 10:08:49:02 10:08:50:12
Like always.
0074 10:08:50:22 10:08:55:24
How do I know? What's the deal? Am I being held prisoner here?
0075 10:08:56:14 10:08:59:07
You're the asshole here. - No, you are.
0076 10:08:59:17 10:09:02:17
You thought all along that you wouldn't be in such bad shape
0077 10:09:03:02 10:09:07:16
and you'd take codeine or whatever. You never try to cope alone.
0078 10:09:08:01 10:09:11:07
What if you feel totally ...
5
0079 10:09:11:17 10:09:15:20
You essentially look for the lesser of two evils.
0080 10:09:16:05 10:09:21:03
You've always looked for it ... - That has nothing to do with it.
0081 10:09:21:13 10:09:25:09
You don't get it. How could I explain it to you?
0082 10:09:25:19 10:09:28:11
I mean, it's better than getting drunk.
0083 10:09:28:21 10:09:32:10
Drinking is fucked up. You're really funny.
0084 10:09:32:20 10:09:38:14
You're fucked up, but you're also kind of funny.
0085 10:09:39:03 10:09:41:22
You wanna get killed? - Yeah.
0086 10:09:42:23 10:09:48:01
Drugs keep you looking young. I look nice and fresh, don't I?
0087 10:09:48:12 10:09:52:23
This is Britta. She is 29 and co-dependent.
0088 10:09:54:19 10:09:57:01
Britta is ...
0089 10:09:59:01 10:10:02:05
There's another cool guy!
0090 10:10:06:00 10:10:08:21
We can really live it up again today.
0091 10:10:18:23 10:10:20:20
I'm gonna get the drugs now.
0092 10:11:06:15 10:11:11:03
It's the worst feeling when you physically feel like shit.
0093 10:11:12:17 10:11:14:23
You wanna sleep in the bed tonight? - Yeah.
0094 10:11:15:08 10:11:18:22
No. - Please. The air mattress drives me crazy.
0095 10:11:19:07 10:11:23:19
It was okay last night. I was high. - Drop the drugs or sleep on the floor.
0096 10:11:24:04 10:11:27:15
You aren't high today? - From what?
0097 10:11:33:06 10:11:37:12
There's lots of stuff you don't wanna do, so look for the lesser evil.
0098 10:11:37:22 10:11:42:13
In the common view it's normal to go to work, have a nice family and a home.
0099 10:11:42:23 10:11:47:12
You have your regular life, then everything's fine. What more do you want?
0100 10:11:47:22 10:11:50:19
There are three packs of cigarettes on the floor.
0101 10:11:52:18 10:11:57:08
I'm not getting back in that rat race. Maybe it's why I keep having relapses.
0102 10:11:59:12 10:12:03:24
You finish the job, and I'll film. I need to eat something now.
0103 10:12:04:09 10:12:06:08
You aren't leaving the place. - You think I wanna eat crap?
0104 10:12:06:18 10:12:08:04
I didn't eat anything yesterday.
6
0105 10:12:08:14 10:12:12:04
I had nothing yesterday and the day before. I went to McDonald's beforehand.
0106 10:12:12:14 10:12:13:14
Awesome!
0107 10:12:16:00 10:12:18:17
I'm definitely eating something today.
0108 10:12:19:02 10:12:23:10
Try it. You'll like it. It's better than Mom's lentil soup.
0109 10:12:23:20 10:12:26:00
It really is. Just try it ...
0110 10:12:26:10 10:12:30:07
I don't want to. I already feel kind of sick.
0111 10:12:30:17 10:12:34:05
No, really. - It's delicious. If I say so, it's delicious.
0112 10:12:34:15 10:12:38:02
You like it, too. - I feel sick.
0113 10:12:39:18 10:12:42:00
That means there's more for me.
0114 10:12:44:02 10:12:45:23
So that's better.
0115 10:12:50:09 10:12:55:08
Come on, hurry up. I've been keeping still for two hours.
0116 10:12:55:18 10:13:01:09
I can't take it. I just want it to stop. It's really taking too long.
0117 10:13:01:19 10:13:05:22
Three more days. Who knows how long it will take.
0118 10:13:06:07 10:13:12:06
And the fact that I took codeine really bothers me most.
0119 10:13:12:18 10:13:13:18
It's all fucked up.
0120 10:13:15:13 10:13:19:18
What a good life. They lie around and don't have to detox.
0121 10:13:20:03 10:13:23:16
And guys like me suffer all day. He's running down.
0122 10:13:24:01 10:13:28:01
Can you stop him, so he doesn't run down?
0123 10:13:30:04 10:13:33:24
Before I kicked the habit, I took a really high dose of heroin.
0124 10:13:34:09 10:13:37:12
I took five grams of awesome heroin, really horrific.
0125 10:13:37:22 10:13:43:06
I took five grams. It was so awesome. I didn't know what was going on!
0126 10:13:43:16 10:13:48:16
But it wasn't all that cool, 'cause things aren't so cool now.
0127 10:13:49:01 10:13:51:24
I'm not in good shape, and my armpits are all sweaty.
0128 10:13:52:21 10:13:56:14
When I went through town today, my bones were killing me.
0129 10:13:56:24 10:13:59:15
It's incredible. You know, it's a feeling like
0130 10:14:00:00 10:14:05:21
freezing, sweating, hanging around the train station with drugs all around
7
0131 10:14:06:06 10:14:10:21
and still not buying anything. It shows me: It's possible.
0132 10:14:11:06 10:14:13:24
So I don't know why I have to go through therapy.
0133 10:14:14:09 10:14:19:01
I somehow believe it's gonna work out okay this time.
0134 10:14:27:04 10:14:31:17
I come home and all I find is this stoned body.
0135 10:14:32:02 10:14:35:03
Hey, I'm not stoned. - Look at your eyes!
0136 10:14:35:13 10:14:40:16
I got bombed with this guy, and we took Diazepam.
0137 10:14:41:01 10:14:43:15
Where's the cash? - I still got cash.
0138 10:14:44:00 10:14:48:04
I paid for the bike and for the camera.
0139 10:14:49:21 10:14:52:00
How much did you pay for the camera?
0140 10:14:52:10 10:14:55:07
60. He wanted to call at ten ...
0141 10:14:55:17 10:15:00:18
What did you buy clothes for? - Listen to me.
0142 10:15:01:20 10:15:04:19
He said it'd cost 900 marks at a store.
0143 10:15:05:04 10:15:09:12
I told him I had no clue, so I looked at stores. That's what took so long.
0144 10:15:09:22 10:15:13:18
I went down the whole Breite Strasse looking for the camera.
0145 10:15:14:03 10:15:15:20
Then I told the guy,
0146 10:15:16:05 10:15:21:11
I'll give you 60 marks for it. You can call me here at ten,
0147 10:15:21:22 10:15:27:08
'cause you know all about cameras, and Canon is a good brand.
0148 10:15:29:01 10:15:35:04
And if not, you can sell the camera and give me back my 60 marks.
0149 10:15:37:09 10:15:41:23
I thought it'd be a good deal for you. You know, sometimes I want to help you.
0150 10:15:44:07 10:15:48:10
You could've done me a favor by not creating total chaos here.
0151 10:15:48:20 10:15:52:08
I got the right to fight, don't I? I'm not gonna let anybody mug me.
0152 10:15:52:18 10:15:56:03
I don't mind at all, but you should've left home by noon
0153 10:15:56:13 10:16:00:23
to take care of some things instead of hanging around the station
0154 10:16:01:08 10:16:04:03
and who knows what. It's 10 o'clock, and you haven't done anything yet.
0155 10:16:04:13 10:16:07:16
I went to McDonald's ... - You get cash
0156 10:16:08:01 10:16:11:10
and spend the whole day boozing it up and hanging around.
8
0157 10:16:11:20 10:16:15:15
I didn't drink that much ... - How much money did you get?
0158 10:16:16:00 10:16:20:10
You know how glad I was to be outside? I got 300 marks.
0159 10:16:20:20 10:16:22:20
How much do you have left?
0160 10:16:23:11 10:16:28:11
I spent 50 marks on the bike, 60 for that thing, and I stuffed myself.
0161 10:16:28:21 10:16:32:02
And you boozed it up. - What do you mean by that?
0162 10:16:32:12 10:16:35:07
I drank beer ... in cans.
0163 10:16:35:17 10:16:38:16
I drank 69-pfennig beer ... 59-pfennig beer.
0164 10:16:39:01 10:16:42:24
Then leave the money here for the phone bill.
0165 10:16:44:22 10:16:50:09
Then I'm down to zero. - Yeah, you know that the phone bill costs 150 marks.
0166 10:16:51:09 10:16:53:23
I never have any money.
0167 10:16:55:15 10:16:59:01
Everything is so fucked up.
0168 10:17:03:01 10:17:07:17
Could you pay 100 marks and I pay 50? I'm just asking you.
0169 10:17:08:02 10:17:13:21
I'll pay it tomorrow. I told you I would.
0170 10:17:14:06 10:17:19:04
They're gonna jail me anyway, 'cause I didn't pay my debts.
0171 10:17:21:14 10:17:24:06
What's all this? Where'd all this blood come from?
0172 10:17:24:16 10:17:28:18
Especially 'cause the green shirt is my favorite, and now it's all bloody.
0173 10:17:29:03 10:17:33:14
He hit me right on the spot where I hit the window pane.
0174 10:17:33:24 10:17:36:10
I just wanted to break his nose.
0175 10:17:36:20 10:17:41:01
And the guy ... I hit him on the side somehow.
0176 10:17:41:11 10:17:45:24
He wasn't expecting it. He thought, "I'll mess that guy up."
0177 10:17:47:03 10:17:50:00
Look how it's swelling up.
0178 10:17:50:10 10:17:52:15
It's gotta be stitched up.
0179 10:17:54:16 10:17:57:04
You bet it needs stitching up.
0180 10:17:58:00 10:18:00:13
Look how it's swelling up.
0181 10:18:00:23 10:18:03:17
We gotta go now. - Should I leave this shit on?
0182 10:18:04:02 10:18:07:16
It's impressive. They'll treat you sooner.
9
0183 10:18:08:03 10:18:12:18
Is anything wrong with my right eye? Is it higher?
0184 10:18:13:03 10:18:17:00
Or crooked? They said, it might be crooked later.
0185 10:18:17:10 10:18:21:01
In any case, I'll have a scar for life.
0186 10:18:21:11 10:18:25:06
The scar's okay. - Scars are manly.
0187 10:18:26:00 10:18:28:05
Scars are manly.
0188 10:18:35:02 10:18:39:18
I gotta drink something. My mouth is so dry. I got so worked up.
0189 10:18:40:03 10:18:43:08
I'll give you some water. - Yeah, water's okay.
0190 10:18:43:18 10:18:48:09
I need calcium or magnesium. - Just stay where you are.
0191 10:18:58:11 10:19:04:10
What you do later ... you experienced extremes, and you need extremes later.
0192 10:19:04:20 10:19:10:09
I can't say how I'd be if I was normal, if I'd never taken drugs.
0193 10:19:10:19 10:19:12:10
Who would I be then?
0194 10:19:13:02 10:19:18:03
Relapses ... I remember you once said that relapses are normal.
0195 10:19:18:13 10:19:22:00
Take note of them and try to deal with them.
0196 10:19:22:10 10:19:26:03
I have a relapse and think I can cope with it.
0197 10:19:26:13 10:19:30:06
And then five days later I realize that I'm totally
0198 10:19:30:16 10:19:33:04
plastered, and I think, "Shit, you're plastered."
0199 10:19:33:14 10:19:35:11
And I step on the gas.
0200 10:19:35:21 10:19:40:18
Two, three, four, five grams. The good thing is that it pisses me off,
0201 10:19:41:03 10:19:43:00
and I pull the brakes.
0202 10:19:46:17 10:19:48:20
Don't you wanna eat anything?
0203 10:20:19:16 10:20:20:16
Britta!
0204 10:20:25:09 10:20:27:02
You're getting on my balls.
0205 10:20:44:14 10:20:45:13
Shit!
0206 10:20:57:14 10:21:02:02
You aren't aware of anything? - Just shut up!
0207 10:21:09:07 10:21:13:06
You were never like this before. - I know ...
0208 10:21:13:16 10:21:19:21
What? - Just leave me alone.
10
0209 10:21:20:13 10:21:22:07
I won't leave you alone.
0210 10:21:22:17 10:21:26:12
I don't fucking want to explain it to you.
0211 10:21:30:21 10:21:32:17
I just wanna sleep.
0212 10:21:33:02 10:21:38:11
You are so fucked up! - No, I just wanna sleep.
0213 10:21:40:20 10:21:43:22
Jesus, I don't believe it.
0214 10:21:44:07 10:21:50:06
I just wanna ... - If you take one more pill here ...
0215 10:21:51:20 10:21:54:06
you can close the door forever.
0216 10:22:58:16 10:23:00:09
Hey, is everything cool with you?
0217 10:23:00:19 10:23:02:13
Why here?
0218 10:23:04:01 10:23:08:18
He's coming here? What's going on up front? Anybody there? Too cold, huh?
0219 10:23:09:03 10:23:12:09
Is anybody there? Is Ralf still there? The guy with the butch haircut?
0220 10:23:12:19 10:23:18:01
With the black hair? No, I got stuff in my pocket. I'm not going up front.
0221 10:23:19:08 10:23:21:24
Okay, let 'em be.
0222 10:23:26:11 10:23:31:08
Hey, Britta, they all think I'm a cheat because of that shit.
0223 10:23:31:18 10:23:37:03
I swear, it's all bad for my image.
0224 10:23:39:08 10:23:42:03
Wait a sec, there it is. It's standing there.
0225 10:23:42:13 10:23:43:13
Out of the way!
0226 10:23:45:19 10:23:51:10
Come on, Britta, we gotta run. We won't get it, 'cause I can't keep up with you.
0227 10:23:52:02 10:23:54:03
Fucking shit!
0228 10:23:57:16 10:24:00:11
Everybody turns around except for the train.
0229 10:24:01:11 10:24:06:02
Here's the smoking section. Where's the ticket collector? Left or right?
0230 10:24:09:18 10:24:12:10
At the homeless shelter you'll see that
0231 10:24:12:20 10:24:15:22
the guys from the team are really the coolest.
0232 10:24:16:07 10:24:20:19
But they gotta take so much crap from those dope heads,
0233 10:24:21:04 10:24:22:19
especially from those ...
0234 10:24:24:03 10:24:28:01
... ecstasy freaks who are real big mouths
11
0235 10:24:28:11 10:24:31:23
when they come in and they're still on a trip.
0236 10:24:35:19 10:24:39:19
There used to be some junkies there I got along with.
0237 10:24:40:10 10:24:45:17
Let's get out. We gotta hurry. The train doesn't wait long.
0238 10:24:46:02 10:24:49:12
Did you forget anything? With you it's a fucking hassle.
0239 10:24:52:01 10:24:53:18
Are they fucked up or what?
0240 10:24:54:21 10:24:56:10
Wait a sec.
0241 10:25:04:22 10:25:10:02
I went there and didn't sell anything, so I'm outta money.
0242 10:25:16:13 10:25:19:05
Do you still have everything from yesterday?
0243 10:25:20:03 10:25:22:21
No, I don't. Last night ...
0244 10:25:24:12 10:25:27:22
With smoking and all you use a lot more.
0245 10:25:28:07 10:25:31:08
Where's the roll of aluminum foil?
0246 10:25:39:11 10:25:43:14
So you were smoking all night again?
0247 10:25:44:06 10:25:48:07
I wasted some now and then by trying ...
0248 10:25:48:17 10:25:52:01
to score a rush, but it didn't work. - What?
0249 10:25:52:11 10:25:55:24
A rush ... which didn't work.
0250 10:25:56:09 10:26:01:22
Then it popped off ... The pump popped off.
0251 10:26:02:07 10:26:04:18
The headpiece to be exact.
0252 10:26:06:12 10:26:08:10
The needle ...
0253 10:26:09:08 10:26:13:00
... between the thing, and everything went bang.
0254 10:26:13:10 10:26:17:18
And that was 60 marks
0255 10:26:19:02 10:26:24:10
that I somehow blew. When the needle pops off,
0256 10:26:24:20 10:26:30:01
then everything you push in doesn't go in, because it's harder,
0257 10:26:31:12 10:26:36:17
because there's blood in it that's blocking it off.
0258 10:26:37:16 10:26:40:06
And bang! The thing just popped off.
0259 10:26:42:23 10:26:46:08
And it was fucked up. - Everything's in slow motion here.
0260 10:26:46:18 10:26:48:21
I know.
12
0261 10:26:50:10 10:26:55:00
It's hell when it's cold. When you're wrecked in the cold,
0262 10:26:55:10 10:27:00:17
it destroys you. If I was on cold turkey in this cold, in this dump ...
0263 10:27:01:02 10:27:03:13
I'd be totally wrecked.
0264 10:27:04:10 10:27:06:14
Call up, Dirki!
0265 10:27:06:24 10:27:10:14
Dirk Petzold speaking. Good evening. I have an appointment
0266 10:27:10:24 10:27:13:12
tomorrow between ten and eleven.
0267 10:27:13:22 10:27:18:18
I'm at a homeless shelter, and they wake people at ...
0268 10:27:19:03 10:27:22:19
What do they do? Let me think ...
0269 10:27:23:04 10:27:26:21
... at eight o'clock, nine ... They kick you out at 9:30.
0270 10:27:27:06 10:27:30:13
And I thought I could get there earlier ... Pardon?
0271 10:27:35:08 10:27:38:21
Pack your things! - But there's still stuff on it.
0272 10:27:39:20 10:27:44:13
According to statistics, more people make it without therapy than with ...
0273 10:27:44:23 10:27:49:23
I got no idea how. There are too many unknown cases.
0274 10:27:50:08 10:27:55:00
Nobody knows how long they were on drugs and how often they took stuff
0275 10:27:55:10 10:27:57:23
and what quality it was.
0276 10:27:58:08 10:28:01:12
Whether it was just heroin or poly-drugs
0277 10:28:01:22 10:28:04:18
like multi-toxic stuff, everything they could get.
0278 10:28:05:03 10:28:09:01
The people at the train station all look so messed up,
0279 10:28:09:11 10:28:14:13
but it isn't the heroin that does it. It's all the pills they got.
0280 10:29:07:20 10:29:10:20
Why did they let you detox warm this time?
0281 10:29:12:06 10:29:15:14
That's the deal now. - For everybody?
0282 10:29:16:02 10:29:19:04
No, Room 10 is the poly-ward.
0283 10:29:19:20 10:29:22:24
They get pills to reduce the dosage.
0284 10:29:23:09 10:29:27:01
And the other thing is ... What I got is ...
0285 10:29:27:21 10:29:30:20
Catapresan. That's what I got.
0286 10:29:31:05 10:29:35:08
But that's crap, 'cause I don't have blood pressure problems.
13
0287 10:29:38:16 10:29:41:05
And that's why at first I was always going ...
0288 10:29:42:07 10:29:47:02
You know? Always yawning. And they all said, "Shut your mouth!"
0289 10:29:47:12 10:29:51:07
I wobbled around for two days like an alien.
0290 10:30:00:15 10:30:03:04
It seemed more like cold turkey.
0291 10:30:03:14 10:30:08:14
My bones were aching the whole time. When I was on cold turkey here,
0292 10:30:08:24 10:30:13:17
and I got tested three times, and I had 5 grams of heroin
0293 10:30:14:02 10:30:16:19
that was a real knockout.
0294 10:30:17:04 10:30:22:17
You thought that I'd been outside, that I'd run away.
0295 10:30:23:02 10:30:27:16
You said, "You were outside." And in fact I had five grams.
0296 10:30:28:13 10:30:33:01
And that was heroin. I mean, I didn't want to take any.
0297 10:30:33:11 10:30:35:10
But you take it automatically.
0298 10:30:35:20 10:30:39:06
And when it was gone, the cold turkey was okay.
0299 10:30:39:16 10:30:45:05
What I'd bought in Wesseling had been diluted with something,
0300 10:30:45:15 10:30:50:22
and it really messed up my bones. After waking up in the shelter
0301 10:30:51:07 10:30:53:12
I tore open the 5 grams
0302 10:30:53:22 10:30:58:21
and threw 500 marks worth of heroin on the chair, and when I was awake
0303 10:30:59:06 10:31:01:24
I sniffed it up through the tube.
0304 10:31:02:09 10:31:08:06
And after half an hour I was so bad off that I could move my legs.
0305 10:31:08:24 10:31:11:17
And so naturally I was able to go to detox.
0306 10:31:20:01 10:31:22:06
Mother, sing me my song.
0307 10:31:24:05 10:31:27:21
Don't get too comfortable. - That you love me.
0308 10:31:28:24 10:31:31:05
Know what's good about dumb people?
0309 10:31:32:08 10:31:34:04
They don't know they're dumb.
0310 10:31:34:14 10:31:37:22
They keep on smiling and thinking
0311 10:31:38:14 10:31:39:24
everything's okay.
0312 10:31:56:06 10:31:57:18
Is that part of it? - What?
14
0313 10:31:58:03 10:31:59:09
This here. - Cut it out!
0314 10:31:59:19 10:32:03:00
What is it? - It's cool. It's ...
0315 10:32:03:18 10:32:06:02
Tomorrow or the day after everybody will have it.
0316 10:32:33:12 10:32:35:03
Britta is trying to eat.
0317 10:32:36:10 10:32:38:13
Maybe dead tomorrow.
0318 10:32:41:03 10:32:45:22
Maybe dead tomorrow. - Maybe. Everything is possible.
0319 10:32:46:16 10:32:50:10
Tomorrow? Christmas? - Yeah, tomorrow. Christmas.
0320 10:32:50:20 10:32:53:06
A day like any other.
0321 10:32:54:23 10:32:58:12
Hey, hey, hey! Cut it out, man. I don't go for that.
0322 10:32:58:22 10:33:01:14
I'll slug you, and you'll be down and out.
0323 10:33:03:21 10:33:07:02
Hey, man ... - Yes, maybe dead tomorrow.
0324 10:33:07:12 10:33:11:00
Maybe you're gonna be dead tomorrow. Honest.
0325 10:33:11:10 10:33:14:21
Honest! - Don't do that shit, man!
0326 10:33:15:06 10:33:18:18
Or I could lose it! Don't ever do it again!
0327 10:33:19:03 10:33:24:09
Maybe dead tomorrow. - Yeah, you dead tomorrow.
0328 10:33:43:03 10:33:45:12
And later I'm falling ...
0329 10:33:48:10 10:33:51:13
into a relapse. I don't know the word in English.
0330 10:34:19:12 10:34:23:13
It depends on the woman. I don't know ...
0331 10:34:24:24 10:34:27:19
I don't know if you can say that ...
0332 10:34:28:04 10:34:32:14
Where is my wallet? - So I have to detox a bit tonight.
0333 10:34:32:24 10:34:34:13
Where is my brown wallet?
0334 10:34:34:23 10:34:37:16
Look under there. - Under here?
0335 10:34:38:01 10:34:43:19
I wanted to keep a fifty.
0336 10:34:44:04 10:34:47:19
Will you give me that?
0337 10:34:49:23 10:34:54:15
I said I wanted to hold on to a fifty. - Keep cool.
0338 10:34:55:00 10:34:58:00
I picked that up for you, and they gave me this today.
15
0339 10:34:58:10 10:35:00:22
But I'd like to hold on to one of the fifties.
0340 10:35:01:07 10:35:05:10
Then I can't do anything. I can't get anything to smoke
0341 10:35:05:20 10:35:08:01
or eat. - If you give me back
0342 10:35:08:11 10:35:12:11
330 or 340 on Thursday, you won't have anything left for yourself.
0343 10:35:12:21 10:35:16:11
What should I do, man?
0344 10:35:16:21 10:35:18:13
Put yourself in my situation.
0345 10:35:18:23 10:35:21:11
When does Dirk go to the hospital? - Who?
0346 10:35:21:21 10:35:23:04
Dirk. - Friday.
0347 10:35:23:14 10:35:26:14
He has room Friday.
0348 10:35:31:12 10:35:33:14
Tomorrow Wednesday?
0349 10:36:38:14 10:36:41:06
Go to Daddy. Then she'll be quiet at once.
0350 10:37:13:09 10:37:17:15
I went through that myself whenever I fucked up and they fucked me over.
0351 10:37:18:00 10:37:21:10
It was when I was on pills. That's normal.
0352 10:37:21:20 10:37:27:09
It's like the story you told me about that express automat.
0353 10:37:27:19 10:37:29:18
That's the way it is.
0354 10:37:30:17 10:37:32:19
No, that's crap, too.
0355 10:37:33:13 10:37:36:17
But like I said ...
0356 10:37:37:02 10:37:42:11
Come over for dinner and I'll make terrific steaks
0357 10:37:42:21 10:37:46:13
with a good sauce. I'm great at it. Yeah, yeah.
0358 10:37:51:10 10:37:54:08
Like I said, I made you an offer ...
0359 10:37:54:18 10:37:58:11
If you ever fuck up ... Just a second.
0360 10:37:58:21 10:38:03:20
My sister is puking. What are you doing puking?
0361 10:38:04:22 10:38:10:10
Stay in touch, Ralf. All the best, okay?
0362 10:38:11:03 10:38:14:04
It's normal, hey. See ya.
0363 10:38:14:14 10:38:18:03
What are you doing there? You sit there and ...
0364 10:38:18:23 10:38:22:22
and puke all over your pants and keep sitting there. You're drunk,
16
0365 10:38:23:07 10:38:26:21
and don't even realize. Hold on. I'll wipe it off. Hey, you're ...
0366 10:38:30:13 10:38:34:20
What's going on? You look like a basketcase. Shit!
0367 10:38:35:11 10:38:38:06
I don't believe it. My God.
0368 10:38:38:19 10:38:43:15
How can you ... A person knows when he's gonna puke. You can't ...
0369 10:38:44:17 10:38:48:14
And you keep on filming. I've never seen that before.
0370 10:38:48:24 10:38:52:24
What should I say? I don't even know where to start.
0371 10:38:57:19 10:39:00:22
I don't know. Just start talking, okay?
0372 10:39:01:07 10:39:06:22
About what? - Don't you remember how you used to ask me questions?
0373 10:39:08:01 10:39:10:01
There's nothing left.
0374 10:39:10:11 10:39:16:00
It's empty, 'cause it's complicated, exhausting. You don't get anywhere.
0375 10:39:18:04 10:39:21:22
You want to start thinking. It's blinking.
0376 10:39:23:18 10:39:28:00
It's the light show. - You got three more minutes.
0377 10:39:32:03 10:39:34:06
Where was I?
0378 10:39:35:14 10:39:39:07
Hey, you look crazy. - I know.
0379 10:39:39:17 10:39:40:21
You're doing weird stuff.
0380 10:39:41:06 10:39:45:02
I could jump. - Jump? That shit?
0381 10:39:45:12 10:39:47:23
I wanted to jump out of the window here, too.
0382 10:39:48:08 10:39:51:18
But the fifth floor is fucking bad.
0383 10:39:53:00 10:39:55:18
And you know, suicide is ...
0384 10:39:57:18 10:40:01:10
the worst thing you can do according to the Bible.
0385 10:40:01:20 10:40:02:20
Why is that?
0386 10:40:03:17 10:40:07:23
If you commit suicide, you won't go to heaven. If you believe in God.
0387 10:40:08:08 10:40:13:08
Yeah, no ... No shit. Because then you ...
0388 10:40:13:18 10:40:17:23
aren't taking our dear Lord seriously.
0389 10:40:18:08 10:40:23:01
That's the biggest punishment ... Or can I call it a punishment?
0390 10:40:23:11 10:40:27:09
The worst thing you can do is suicide, according to the Bible.
17
0391 10:40:27:19 10:40:29:13
Because then ...
0392 10:40:30:09 10:40:31:24
How did it go?
0393 10:40:33:22 10:40:39:00
Because then you don't fear God. That's what they say.
0394 10:40:39:21 10:40:43:08
In any case, people who commit suicide don't go to heaven.
0395 10:40:43:18 10:40:45:14
They don't stand a chance.
0396 10:40:45:24 10:40:48:23
What do you think I'm afraid of most right now?
0397 10:40:50:10 10:40:55:06
The future? Not necessarily. I don't think so.
0398 10:41:01:18 10:41:05:11
I don't think you know yourself.
0399 10:41:06:19 10:41:11:19
It's true. Every time you want to think about it, you feel exhausted,
0400 10:41:12:04 10:41:16:01
somehow, and nothing happens. You don't get anywhere.
0401 10:41:16:11 10:41:19:18
Because everything is open. You know nothing for sure.
0402 10:41:22:10 10:41:25:12
You're nodding ... I'm right, aren't I?
0403 10:41:25:22 10:41:30:16
I can put myself in your place. I know the feeling.
0404 10:41:31:15 10:41:33:09
Look how she's smiling.
0405 10:41:36:10 10:41:39:18
Look how my hair tickles you.
0406 10:41:45:24 10:41:47:22
Don't you have any idea what you're teaching her?
0407 10:41:48:07 10:41:49:23
No idea.
0408 10:41:52:16 10:41:56:11
What should we teach you? You already know how to grin.
0409 10:42:05:17 10:42:10:16
She's really smiling at you. - Always.
0410 10:42:12:23 10:42:14:21
Or are you laughing at me?
0411 10:42:18:09 10:42:22:22
She doesn't care when you do something. I wonder how she perceives stuff.
0412 10:42:23:07 10:42:26:07
She's so carefree and easygoing.
0413 10:42:28:07 10:42:31:05
You can see right inside of her.
0414 10:42:31:15 10:42:35:07
No ulterior motives or any of that shit.
0415 10:42:36:17 10:42:40:09
She'll be really proud of you someday. - Proud of me?
0416 10:42:40:19 10:42:44:12
She's already looking at you that way. - She's kicking my belly. - Do it again!
18
0417 10:42:48:23 10:42:52:24
She's not in the mood to eat. You want to eat this, too?
0418 10:42:55:13 10:42:58:11
She's eating everything she gets.
0419 10:44:01:10 10:44:03:14
Dirk loves the little ones.
0420 10:44:05:16 10:44:09:24
He's in love with kids. It's normal for Dirk to play with little ones.
0421 10:44:10:09 10:44:14:05
He lives like little ones.
0422 10:44:14:15 10:44:15:15
What?
0423 10:44:16:15 10:44:20:15
Dirk lives like little ones. - I see. He lives like children.
0424 10:44:21:00 10:44:27:00
Yes. - Children. - Like children. Have fun, play. That's normal life.
0425 10:44:34:16 10:44:37:05
Hi there. Everything cool?
0426 10:44:39:04 10:44:43:11
Hey, that doc, what an idiot. Honest, he's an idiot, isn't he?
0427 10:44:43:22 10:44:46:17
The way he looked at me today.
0428 10:44:47:02 10:44:50:17
I took less today. Maybe that's why I'm sweating like a pig.
0429 10:44:51:02 10:44:55:00
But what should I do? I didn't get anything done on Friday.
0430 10:44:55:10 10:45:00:17
The drug center is open on weekends, and who's on call this weekend?
0431 10:45:01:02 10:45:05:16
Doc Siepe ... Mr. Cool. - Why did you ...
0432 10:45:06:01 10:45:10:12
Don't you get any methadone for Saturday and Sunday?
0433 10:45:10:22 10:45:13:07
I gotta do something. - Mom's coming tomorrow
0434 10:45:13:17 10:45:16:13
with Kaddi. She can take you to Kamen.
0435 10:45:16:23 10:45:22:04
Yeah, sure, Britta. Why don't you use your brain?
0436 10:45:22:14 10:45:26:01
Maybe I'll be knocked out by Monday, out of action. And it's no go.
0437 10:45:26:11 10:45:30:05
You know how horrific that is? It drives you nuts.
0438 10:45:31:00 10:45:35:15
It's like going from five grams to zero. It's a total killer!
0439 10:45:36:00 10:45:39:06
The stuff doesn't really work, but withdrawal is ...
0440 10:45:40:08 10:45:44:07
absolutely terrific. Where's my tobacco?
0441 10:45:44:17 10:45:48:09
The withdrawal is one of the best. There's nothing better.
0442 10:45:52:17 10:45:58:09
So somebody's gonna check it out and call me after three.
19
0443 10:46:07:01 10:46:10:15
I brought you something. - What? - Laundry.
0444 10:46:11:00 10:46:12:00
Asshole!
0445 10:46:22:09 10:46:25:02
What did you take this morning?
0446 10:46:25:12 10:46:26:12
Pills.
0447 10:46:28:06 10:46:30:19
The ones that don't get you addicted?
0448 10:46:54:03 10:46:57:19
If I had a daughter, I'd want one like Kaddi.
0449 10:46:58:06 10:46:59:14
I'd be proud of her.
0450 10:47:01:13 10:47:06:01
A son wouldn't be bad either, but someone like Kaddi ...
0451 10:47:06:11 10:47:11:05
wouldn't be a bad idea. - Being an uncle isn't bad either.
0452 10:47:11:15 10:47:14:14
"Not bad"? - Being an uncle is cool.
0453 10:47:14:24 10:47:17:12
Yeah, you're right.
0454 10:47:19:21 10:47:23:16
An uncle in Africa is just like a father.
0455 10:47:24:01 10:47:28:14
Uncle and father are the same. One makes the kid, the other babysits.
0456 10:47:28:24 10:47:31:10
Number 16 coming. - 13.
0457 10:47:31:20 10:47:34:12
That's Number 13! - Where does it go?
0458 10:47:40:20 10:47:45:07
When you think about last year ...
0459 10:47:45:17 10:47:47:20
You mean: If I think at all?
0460 10:47:50:13 10:47:55:04
Sleep ... And when I think about the last few years?
0461 10:47:56:13 10:48:01:15
They were fucked up. Really fucked up.
0462 10:48:02:00 10:48:04:10
I really fucked up.
0463 10:48:04:20 10:48:10:12
I fucked up my own freedom, my independence.
0464 10:48:12:15 10:48:15:23
I fucked it up. That I had a relapse
0465 10:48:16:08 10:48:21:22
has to do with the fact that I lost my driver's license,
0466 10:48:22:07 10:48:26:21
that I didn't drive back to Kamen very often,
0467 10:48:27:06 10:48:31:19
that I was in Dortmund a lot in the flat
0468 10:48:32:04 10:48:36:07
and all those guys from Dortmund came to me, and they were all on drugs.
20
0469 10:48:36:17 10:48:41:12
Or the guys from Kamen who were in Dortmund.
0470 10:48:42:05 10:48:48:04
And I couldn't ride my motorcycle which was my coolest drug.
0471 10:48:48:23 10:48:51:04
And that somehow ...
0472 10:48:53:13 10:48:57:04
had a lot to do with it, but who knows what would've happened,
0473 10:48:57:14 10:49:01:11
if that hadn't happened, but losing my driver's license ...
0474 10:49:01:21 10:49:07:04
How stupid! He put seven Medinox in a bottle of sparkling wine.
0475 10:49:07:14 10:49:10:07
It's a barbiturate. How can he put in seven pills?
0476 10:49:10:17 10:49:14:09
I asked him how many, and he said, "Seven pills."
0477 10:49:14:19 10:49:17:23
It's clear that I'd fall asleep in the car. That's normal.
0478 10:49:18:08 10:49:23:10
Seven pills! If you aren't used to it you'd be dead, you know.
0479 10:49:24:04 10:49:27:15
What? What?
0480 10:49:29:22 10:49:34:13
What do you have in your pants? Don't fall down. Stand up.
0481 10:49:34:23 10:49:38:20
Let Daddy go out. Uncle Dirk is staying here.
0482 10:49:39:05 10:49:42:24
Go to Dirk. - How does Kaddi know that you're leaving?
0483 10:49:43:09 10:49:47:20
She senses it. She smells it. She's getting her jacket now.
0484 10:49:48:16 10:49:51:23
She's not stupid at all. How could she be?
0485 10:49:52:08 10:49:55:24
She takes after you. She should be a slowpoke.
0486 10:49:56:09 10:50:00:07
She must have inherited it from you,
0487 10:50:00:17 10:50:05:13
or she learned how to talk a lot without thinking.
0488 10:50:13:24 10:50:17:05
It's warm outside. No problem.
0489 10:50:18:22 10:50:20:21
Now everything's fine, right?
0490 10:50:21:06 10:50:25:10
Is one shoe enough? What do you think?
0491 10:50:26:19 10:50:30:20
He didn't even say goodbye. - Sure. Didn't you see it? Right away.
0492 10:50:31:05 10:50:33:06
It's a matter of seconds.
0493 10:50:34:17 10:50:37:07
She didn't even notice. And now she's forgotten it.
0494 10:50:37:17 10:50:40:03
Get away from the fridge.
21
0495 10:51:13:07 10:51:16:14
Which of us is stronger? - Me.
0496 10:51:16:24 10:51:19:08
Why? - 'cause I'm bigger.
0497 10:51:20:02 10:51:22:17
'cause I'm bigger. - Than what?
0498 10:51:23:02 10:51:27:09
Than what? Because I'm bigger and stronger.
0499 10:51:27:19 10:51:30:24
Can you do this to me? Can you?
0500 10:51:32:06 10:51:34:22
Do it. Think you can?
0501 10:51:35:19 10:51:39:07
No. - Can you do it to me? - No. - Then I'm stronger.
0502 10:51:39:17 10:51:40:17
Do it again!
0503 10:51:45:17 10:51:47:02
I'm not gonna hurt Kaddi.
0504 10:51:48:20 10:51:50:23
Hey, that's loud!
0505 10:51:51:17 10:51:54:05
Don't bark. That's too loud for me.
0506 10:51:55:01 10:51:57:07
Tequila, get down from here!
0507 10:52:08:11 10:52:09:24
It's okay.
0508 10:52:10:09 10:52:12:05
Don't even try to get on the couch.
0509 10:52:12:15 10:52:14:18
Please! - No! - Please! - No!
0510 10:52:15:21 10:52:18:00
Your niece is asking you. - I'm not going to Kamen.
0511 10:52:18:10 10:52:23:13
Be a man. - What's it got to do with it? Drive to Kamen and you're a hero.
0512 10:52:24:13 10:52:26:20
Kamen ... wow! - You're going with us.
0513 10:52:27:05 10:52:31:12
Okay, we can ... Hey, I don't feel like it today.
0514 10:52:31:22 10:52:35:23
I have no desire to hang around there. In that case, I'll go back home.
0515 10:52:36:08 10:52:37:22
I don't feel like ... - Go lie on the bridge.
0516 10:52:38:07 10:52:42:18
It has nothing to do ... - Please! - No, I'm not going to Kamen.
0517 10:52:43:03 10:52:46:18
It is totally ... What a bunch of bullshit!
0518 10:52:47:03 10:52:48:21
That's a bunch of shit.
0519 10:52:50:08 10:52:51:23
I gotta smoke.
0520 10:52:55:01 10:52:58:02
Can you open the window when I smoke because of Kaddi?
22
0521 10:52:58:12 10:53:01:14
Otherwise it'll be too cold for Kaddi, don't you think?
0522 10:53:01:24 10:53:04:07
She's wearing a cap and scarf. - Because of the cigarette.
0523 10:53:04:17 10:53:06:16
Then throw it out the window.
0524 10:53:07:05 10:53:11:12
I'm not gonna throw it away. I just don't want the car full of smoke.
0525 10:53:12:02 10:53:15:16
What's that grinding sound? - Shut up!
0526 10:53:16:01 10:53:19:21
I told you that four people are too many, but no!
0527 10:53:21:22 10:53:25:05
Let's forget it. Yeah, okay.
0528 10:53:27:02 10:53:30:23
Here's the cigarette. Put it out. - Come here ...
0529 10:53:32:01 10:53:36:09
Everybody else to unbuckle. That's really mean.
0530 10:53:37:14 10:53:41:09
Dirk has to hurry to see the doctor. That's why.
0531 10:53:41:19 10:53:43:14
We have to hurry.
0532 10:53:50:24 10:53:52:05
It tastes great!
0533 10:53:52:22 10:53:55:08
After 300 metha... I can't even speak right.
0534 10:53:56:03 10:53:59:19
Sometimes they ask me, "Were you even here yesterday?"
0535 10:54:00:04 10:54:04:03
I should say no, 'cause it's 20 marks every time I go.
0536 10:54:05:18 10:54:10:24
But the doc's okay. There's no need to fuck him over.
0537 10:54:11:21 10:54:15:05
He didn't even ask me for the cash.
0538 10:54:15:15 10:54:19:15
So I still have a methadone debt. When I told him that last time
0539 10:54:20:00 10:54:25:14
they didn't even ask for cash, he just smiled and said "300".
0540 10:54:27:05 10:54:30:18
I have to pay 230 for two weeks.
0541 10:54:31:03 10:54:33:13
It wasn't quite two weeks.
0542 10:54:33:23 10:54:39:02
I took 28 pills, and that makes 230 marks.
0543 10:54:39:12 10:54:44:21
And the fucking problem is that I need 60 pills a month.
0544 10:54:45:06 10:54:51:09
Pretty expensive. And that's just the pills not including the doctor.
0545 10:54:51:19 10:54:57:12
He gets money, too? - He gets 10 marks every time I come.
0546 10:54:58:13 10:55:03:11
For himself. That makes another 300 marks.
23
0547 10:55:05:01 10:55:09:09
With other doctors it would be like that.
0548 10:55:09:19 10:55:11:21
He does it out of social commitment?
0549 10:55:12:06 10:55:15:05
He doesn't want to be a dealer in a white coat.
0550 10:55:15:15 10:55:18:08
He thinks the legal situation is fucked up.
0551 10:55:19:17 10:55:24:00
Happy Birthday, Grandma.
0552 10:55:24:10 10:55:28:16
Happy Birthday, dear Grandma,
0553 10:55:29:01 10:55:34:05
Happy Birthday to you.
0554 10:55:43:03 10:55:46:06
Angaleta is now 60 years old ...
0555 10:55:48:16 10:55:51:22
There's no age limit for her.
0556 10:56:23:14 10:56:25:13
I don't believe it!
0557 10:56:29:05 10:56:33:10
Leave my wife alone. - I won't hurt her.
0558 10:56:33:20 10:56:38:19
I don't want to fight with him anymore. - You started it.
0559 10:56:39:04 10:56:42:19
Yes, but ... - She hit me in the pancreas.
0560 10:56:44:15 10:56:45:07
No, no, no!
0561 10:56:45:17 10:56:49:13
Give him the 30-kilo weights. Let's see if he can still lift them.
0562 10:56:49:23 10:56:53:11
He can't do it. - Or that thing you bend.
0563 10:56:53:21 10:56:58:06
Together with Salif, but he doesn't have it in him either.
0564 10:56:58:16 10:57:00:08
You still got it in you? Arm wrestling?
0565 10:57:00:18 10:57:05:02
It's dark outside! - You'll know it when you lose!
0566 10:57:09:16 10:57:12:19
Come on. No problem. - Now get in line.
0567 10:57:13:22 10:57:16:03
Step on it! Step on it!
0568 10:57:17:22 10:57:21:08
You're putting all your weight in it. But I'm not letting go!
0569 10:57:21:19 10:57:24:09
No, I'm not gonna fuck up!
0570 10:57:25:09 10:57:28:20
What you did is cheating. You put your whole body into it.
0571 10:57:31:17 10:57:34:09
Hey, man. - You did it, too.
0572 10:57:34:19 10:57:39:00
How? I did at first, but then I stopped. - Try to use leverage.
24
0573 10:57:52:11 10:57:53:11
Damn it!
0574 10:57:55:24 10:57:59:14
Not much can happen. They stitched it tight.
0575 10:57:59:24 10:58:01:17
They stitched it?
0576 10:58:03:05 10:58:05:13
It's normal. They always do it.
0577 10:58:05:23 10:58:08:24
I didn't pull it out. It's stitched tight.
0578 10:58:09:09 10:58:12:03
Yeah, I can take it along. But why toothpaste?
0579 10:58:12:13 10:58:15:03
You wanted toothpaste. - I never said so.
0580 10:58:15:19 10:58:19:21
Know what? Don't call me. I won't bring you anything from now on.
0581 10:58:20:06 10:58:23:05
When I tell you something ...
0582 10:58:23:15 10:58:27:07
Why did I ask you for a toothbrush? Because mine is worn out.
0583 10:58:27:17 10:58:31:04
Because mine is so worn out.
0584 10:58:31:14 10:58:36:23
You told me to bring a toothbrush, and I did. - But I told you
0585 10:58:37:08 10:58:39:07
not to bring a cheap one. - Is that my fault?
0586 10:58:39:17 10:58:41:15
Did I say so? - You're acting like it.
0587 10:58:42:00 10:58:45:02
Don't get all huffy about it.
0588 10:58:47:00 10:58:51:23
Leave it here. The cheap ones just don't get rid of dental plaque.
0589 10:58:52:08 10:58:56:02
She's all huffy now. - You really got on her back.
0590 10:58:56:12 10:59:00:17
Sure, but ... - Be considerate.
0591 10:59:01:02 10:59:06:12
Yeah, but it's always ... Like with the cigarettes.
0592 10:59:06:22 10:59:10:12
You know I don't like lights, and you brought me lights.
0593 10:59:10:22 10:59:13:21
I don't smoke, so I have no idea.
0594 10:59:14:06 10:59:16:10
Sure, that's what they gave me.
0595 10:59:20:12 10:59:21:13
Bye.
0596 10:59:32:21 10:59:37:05
I told him, "Take a taxi." He said, "My dryer needs 30 minutes."
0597 10:59:37:15 10:59:42:09
"Sure, your dryer. Make sure you get the train at 5:55."
0598 10:59:42:19 10:59:46:08
But he didn't catch it. He's coming in half an hour.
25
0599 10:59:46:18 10:59:49:05
I'm gonna tell him off. If he had to catch a plane,
0600 10:59:49:15 10:59:54:09
and he had to go to the airport in Düsseldorf at 4:55,
0601 10:59:54:19 10:59:57:05
he can't just say, "I gotta buy a present for Kaddi."
0602 10:59:57:18 11:00:00:16
Yesterday I had the problem that I had to pay the doctor.
0603 11:00:01:01 11:00:05:13
But he wasn't willing to give me the syrup. So I was glad
0604 11:00:05:23 11:00:09:14
that I got money in the evening, so I could rush to the doctor's
0605 11:00:09:24 11:00:12:10
and pay him, so I got the stuff for the next few days.
0606 11:00:12:20 11:00:15:18
I'm still a self-pay patient. I'm not in the program yet which is crap.
0607 11:00:16:03 11:00:19:05
It's your problem. - Others get it paid for.
0608 11:00:19:15 11:00:24:20
You were down to 30 six weeks ago ...
0609 11:00:25:05 11:00:27:24
And you said, in two weeks you don't need it anymore.
0610 11:00:28:09 11:00:31:01
And now you're up to 80 again. - 80?
0611 11:00:31:11 11:00:36:18
80 mg a day. Six weeks ago he was at 30 mg.
0612 11:00:37:03 11:00:39:11
I can get it out. I got it filed.
0613 11:00:40:05 11:00:41:07
Sure thing.
0614 11:00:41:17 11:00:43:22
Want me to get it? - You bet!
0615 11:00:45:09 11:00:47:15
What do you think?
0616 11:00:48:00 11:00:50:00
I'm exhausted. I just wanna sleep.
0617 11:00:50:10 11:00:54:07
Since 18 November you don't need it anymore, you said on 24 October.
0618 11:00:54:17 11:00:58:22
I thought so ... - "I thought so!"
0619 11:00:59:07 11:01:03:23
Sure, I can explain it. - Since 9 November, 2003, Dirk clean.
0620 11:01:04:08 11:01:09:01
How shitty do you think I feel? I'm throwing away all my money on it.
0621 11:01:09:11 11:01:13:09
Look at it this way. People you owe money to aren't getting it.
0622 11:01:13:19 11:01:19:23
If my tenant doesn't pay his rent ... It doesn't matter.
0623 11:01:20:08 11:01:23:04
Normally I'd get it from health insurance. Others do.
0624 11:01:23:14 11:01:26:17
I never got it, 'cause I don't have hepatitis C or HIV.
26
0625 11:01:27:02 11:01:32:03
You wanna cut your wrists? - If I'd gone to jail
0626 11:01:32:13 11:01:35:20
I'd have gone from 80 mg down to zero,
0627 11:01:36:05 11:01:39:04
because I'm not in any medical program.
0628 11:01:39:14 11:01:43:05
There's no way you can do that. It totally wrecks you.
0629 11:01:43:15 11:01:44:17
You're creating your own hassle.
0630 11:01:45:02 11:01:47:19
I can't make any plans. I don't know what'll happen,
0631 11:01:48:04 11:01:53:08
if I get the apartment and can join the medical program.
0632 11:01:53:18 11:01:55:16
I have to wait and see.
0633 11:01:56:01 11:01:59:21
At least I'm glad I registered with the doctor, so if I go to jail,
0634 11:02:00:06 11:02:04:20
they'll get me through withdrawal in two or three weeks.
0635 11:02:05:05 11:02:08:16
Otherwise they'd take me from 80 mg to zero, 'cause they don't believe me.
0636 11:02:09:01 11:02:11:11
And then I'd be fucked up. Then I'd cut my wrists.
0637 11:02:11:21 11:02:15:18
You were down to 30 mg. - Don't keep telling me that!
0638 11:02:16:03 11:02:19:18
Now you're back up to 80. Something's wrong. - Yes, but ...
0639 11:02:20:03 11:02:23:23
When you reach that point ... - I did. - You said "in two weeks".
0640 11:02:24:08 11:02:28:16
I got ... I went into withdrawal.
0641 11:02:29:01 11:02:34:05
And I took some coke for a short period with somebody else.
0642 11:02:34:15 11:02:38:10
And to come back down you dose up the other stuff.
0643 11:02:38:20 11:02:44:23
And I thought, "It's not so bad. You'll get down to 30 quickly."
0644 11:02:46:14 11:02:50:07
I can't really stand that stuff. It really makes you sweat.
0645 11:02:50:17 11:02:54:12
Look how I was sweating when I was in a rush.
0646 11:03:17:12 11:03:20:00
Grandpa took Dirk with him.
0647 11:03:21:17 11:03:23:02
Today?
0648 11:03:26:14 11:03:28:09
What did he do?
0649 11:03:30:14 11:03:32:01
What do you think?
0650 11:03:32:24 11:03:36:14
Is he running around in the street?
27
0651 11:03:38:01 11:03:40:00
He's taking him to Grandma.
0652 11:03:41:09 11:03:43:01
Does Grandma want him?
0653 11:03:56:16 11:03:58:19
Not in my room.
0654 11:03:59:12 11:04:02:18
Oh yes. Where else?
0655 11:04:03:06 11:04:08:15
No! Then I can't use my room again!
0656 11:04:09:24 11:04:12:07
He won't stay long.
0657 11:04:12:17 11:04:15:13
We'll have to redecorate again.
0658 11:04:15:23 11:04:20:14
We have to clean everything up before I go back.
0659 11:04:22:12 11:04:24:19
Maybe he'll just stay for two days.
0660 11:04:34:20 11:04:39:10
He is your uncle. - I know, but still ...
0661 11:04:50:09 11:04:54:05
I said to Dirk, "It isn't normal. Your clothes are all bloody.
0662 11:04:54:15 11:04:59:12
And the needles lying around ... You say they belong to others?
0663 11:04:59:22 11:05:01:19
I don't believe you."
0664 11:05:02:04 11:05:07:02
"Yeah, he used the needle, and so his mother can't find it ..."
0665 11:05:07:12 11:05:09:11
And when we started cleaning up the wardrobe, Sascha said,
0666 11:05:09:21 11:05:14:15
"Be careful with the needles. You never know who used them."
0667 11:05:15:00 11:05:18:01
That's what he said. And Gerd said, "Hold open the sack,"
0668 11:05:18:11 11:05:21:05
and he took the drawers and dumped out everything.
0669 11:05:21:15 11:05:25:16
In the black wardrobe there was a bloody needle.
0670 11:05:26:01 11:05:29:15
"I don't want to talk about it." That's what Sascha said.
0671 11:05:30:00 11:05:33:19
"But ..." - Everybody's talking about someone else. - Exactly.
0672 11:05:34:04 11:05:38:22
You're allowed to find them,
0673 11:05:39:07 11:05:42:19
but not the other mothers. - Not the other mothers.
0674 11:05:43:04 11:05:47:20
They aren't his. I was once with Kaddi in Dortmund.
0675 11:05:48:05 11:05:51:24
We were sitting on the couch ... You know his apartment.
0676 11:05:52:09 11:05:54:08
And Dirk ... - You told me.
28
0677 11:05:54:18 11:05:57:15
And Kaddi said, "Grandma, look at that."
0678 11:05:58:00 11:06:02:13
There was like a toothbrush mug full of syringes.
0679 11:06:02:23 11:06:08:00
He was showering then. And I said, "What's this?"
0680 11:06:08:10 11:06:11:17
"Were you snooping around?" he asked. "No I wasn't," I said.
0681 11:06:12:02 11:06:15:01
Kaddi said, "Look at that, Grandma."
0682 11:06:15:11 11:06:20:15
"They're not mine. You mean these big syringes?
0683 11:06:21:00 11:06:25:06
I fill them with methadone I get from the bottles."
0684 11:06:25:16 11:06:28:08
What should I say when he tells me that?
0685 11:06:28:18 11:06:34:19
Check if they still have needles. I'd go crazy if he told me that.
0686 11:06:36:00 11:06:37:17
Listen, I'll read this to you.
0687 11:06:38:02 11:06:42:10
It says he wanted to manage things with the employment agency on Friday:
0688 11:06:42:20 11:06:45:18
"My anger came to a boil.
0689 11:06:46:03 11:06:51:07
I picked up his clothes and papers and put them in the shed.
0690 11:06:51:17 11:06:54:19
When he returned, I fried two pieces of cordon bleu.
0691 11:06:55:04 11:06:58:13
Then we put everything in the Corsa and drove to Kamen.
0692 11:06:58:23 11:07:02:21
Dirk put everything in the basement. I told him to sleep in Kamen
0693 11:07:03:06 11:07:06:15
because of the employment agency. He refused and rode back with me.
0694 11:07:07:00 11:07:09:00
He made me drop him off at a bar.
0695 11:07:09:10 11:07:11:24
In his jacket I found two syringes with cotton swabs.
0696 11:07:12:09 11:07:16:07
I can't stand Dirk. I'm very nervous and didn't sleep a wink.
0697 11:07:16:17 11:07:19:17
I tremble when I see him and yell at him although I don't want to."
0698 11:07:20:02 11:07:22:12
I was a wreck, Britta. - You screamed all the time.
0699 11:07:22:22 11:07:27:19
Whenever I said something ... he said, "What's your problem?"
0700 11:07:28:04 11:07:30:01
It was too much for me.
0701 11:07:31:02 11:07:35:16
"I can't go on like this. It was a mistake to take him in.
0702 11:07:36:01 11:07:39:11
Dirk doesn't respect anything. He smokes
29
0703 11:07:39:21 11:07:42:20
Russian cigarettes in the basement. His bed was burned again."
0704 11:07:43:05 11:07:45:15
Off to bed. - Good night.
0705 11:07:46:00 11:07:48:00
Come on, dear.
0706 11:07:51:07 11:07:54:24
I always slip here, because it's so cold.
0707 11:07:55:09 11:07:59:06
And now you have slippers on.
0708 11:07:59:16 11:08:01:19
They're nice and warm. - Yes.
0709 11:08:04:09 11:08:07:13
They're slipping off. - Look ...
0710 11:08:08:13 11:08:13:04
Is everything peachy keen?
0711 11:08:15:13 11:08:18:22
Bye-bye. Turn off the light. It's still on.
0712 11:08:26:21 11:08:29:10
Terrific, Britta.
0713 11:08:31:22 11:08:34:21
Terrific. Terrific.
0714 11:08:36:15 11:08:40:15
Great. You're doing ...
0715 11:08:41:00 11:08:45:12
Dad, you must have noticed. I got along great with you.
0716 11:08:45:22 11:08:49:20
I could really talk to you. I got along with you.
0717 11:08:50:05 11:08:53:22
But if you get Dirk in the shit, I won't ever forgive you.
0718 11:08:54:07 11:08:57:15
You were aware of that back then. I have no problems with you.
0719 11:08:58:00 11:09:00:22
Think twice when it's about Dirk. You can mess with me
0720 11:09:01:07 11:09:07:13
but with Dirk ... I go nuts when it's about others.
0721 11:09:09:01 11:09:12:24
You know how Mom is suffering tonight? You know how messed up she is?
0722 11:09:13:09 11:09:19:01
Even if you don't care ... you dropped Dirk off with a beer.
0723 11:09:19:11 11:09:22:13
With a beer! And she was just glad
0724 11:09:22:23 11:09:27:05
that he hadn't drunk any alcohol for a month.
0725 11:09:27:15 11:09:32:13
And you take him to a bar, drink, chew the fat and drop him off at Mom's.
0726 11:09:32:23 11:09:34:24
I think that's so ...
0727 11:09:36:11 11:09:38:04
No, I think ...
0728 11:09:41:12 11:09:45:05
You don't understand. You just don't understand.
30
0729 11:09:54:20 11:09:57:20
I didn't want to have any more talks like this with you.
0730 11:09:58:05 11:10:03:13
I wanted to accept what you do and not get upset about it.
0731 11:10:03:23 11:10:06:22
But he's your son, and he's addicted to drugs.
0732 11:10:07:07 11:10:10:21
And you have to be careful.
0733 11:10:11:06 11:10:14:07
You have to think about what you do.
0734 11:10:14:17 11:10:19:10
It doesn't matter with me or yourself, but be careful with Dirk,
0735 11:10:19:20 11:10:24:04
because: Do you want him to die before you do?
0736 11:10:24:14 11:10:26:08
Then do something ...
0737 11:10:28:09 11:10:30:15
Yeah, sure.
0738 11:10:32:11 11:10:38:16
Let me say this, if your son dies before you do or I do ...
0739 11:10:39:01 11:10:44:09
You didn't do that much good ... you didn't do the right stuff.
0740 11:10:46:01 11:10:51:21
I'm not saying you're to blame, but you have to think!
0741 11:10:56:17 11:10:59:07
You always say that. But it isn't the time.
0742 11:10:59:17 11:11:04:04
I never said ... I mean that very first talk we had,
0743 11:11:04:14 11:11:07:12
that the three of us had together ...
0744 11:11:07:22 11:11:10:06
I haven't forgotten it. At the drug counselor's
0745 11:11:10:16 11:11:17:02
15 years ago or 13 ... It was '94, '93, '92 ... '93.
0746 11:11:17:12 11:11:21:18
Exactly ... 2004. 11 years ago. Right?
0747 11:11:22:24 11:11:23:24
'93.
0748 11:11:26:03 11:11:30:02
Nothing has changed since then. Nothing.
0749 11:11:31:23 11:11:33:16
The same with us.
0750 11:11:34:21 11:11:40:12
We were all inexperienced, but we never stuck together.
0751 11:11:40:22 11:11:44:06
We always passed it on to one another.
0752 11:11:57:07 11:11:58:24
I'm here now.
0753 11:12:01:02 11:12:04:11
Want to go in the living room? - Please.
0754 11:12:05:13 11:12:09:24
Because we're talking about Dirk. - No, I need tape.
31
0755 11:12:10:09 11:12:11:24
It's in the living room.
0756 11:12:12:09 11:12:16:18
He isn't gonna make it. - He told me, "I never saw you work."
0757 11:12:17:03 11:12:18:14
Now you can work.
0758 11:12:18:24 11:12:22:06
You think it bothers me?
0759 11:12:22:16 11:12:27:21
On 31 May, '05 I paid 80 euros for him.
0760 11:12:30:07 11:12:33:11
Talked to Dirk on the phone on 10 December
0761 11:12:33:21 11:12:36:16
that he was going to Telgte to detox on 13 December.
0762 11:12:37:01 11:12:40:13
Then I couldn't reach him. - On the 23rd. - On the 13th.
0763 11:12:40:23 11:12:42:10
He was supposed to be in Telgte?
0764 11:12:42:20 11:12:46:19
I didn't call the Ostenberg Therapy Center.
0765 11:12:47:04 11:12:49:17
I called the Westfälischer Hof, and they said it wasn't rehab.
0766 11:12:50:02 11:12:54:08
It can be a normal hospital. - Yeah, I wasn't aware.
0767 11:12:54:18 11:12:58:08
I called up Marienhospital. It's a hospital.
0768 11:12:58:18 11:13:03:22
I asked about detox ... No, about Dirk Petzold.
0769 11:13:04:22 11:13:07:20
He must have been there for quite a while.
0770 11:13:08:05 11:13:13:12
He must have been admitted on the 22nd.
0771 11:13:16:10 11:13:19:04
When did he call and ask you to drive him to Telgte?
0772 11:13:19:14 11:13:22:13
That was during the call when we talked to each other.
0773 11:13:22:23 11:13:25:02
When did I talk to Dirk?
0774 11:13:25:12 11:13:31:13
Then I called on 11, 12 and 13 December, but no answer.
0775 11:13:31:23 11:13:35:24
I talked to him on 10 December, and he asked me to drive him.
0776 11:13:36:09 11:13:37:16
I left it open.
0777 11:13:38:01 11:13:42:04
But he said he was vomiting and coughing,
0778 11:13:42:14 11:13:44:03
so he must've gone to the hospital.
0779 11:13:44:13 11:13:48:24
You should have driven him. Christmas would've been more peaceful.
0780 11:13:49:09 11:13:50:09
Yeah ...
32
0781 11:13:52:00 11:13:55:16
I didn't even know that your mother was gone.
0782 11:13:56:01 11:13:59:21
I normally would have driven him to Castrop-Rauxel or whatever.
0783 11:14:01:12 11:14:04:12
When are you going to your mother's? At three?
0784 11:14:09:21 11:14:14:17
Okay, but if he isn't there anyway ... I thought, maybe he knew the doctor ...
0785 11:14:15:14 11:14:18:15
Then we could've called the doctor.
0786 11:14:25:06 11:14:29:18
Dad talked to him already, because we figured you had a key.
0787 11:14:30:12 11:14:32:17
I'm not absolutely certain.
0788 11:14:33:02 11:14:39:07
The tape started, and I thought I heard "hospital" and then the tape started.
0789 11:14:39:17 11:14:43:21
But a "hospital" is for poor people.
0790 11:14:46:16 11:14:51:13
It's for poor people. And that fits. He isn't rich.
0791 11:14:52:14 11:14:55:18
He must have been lying there for quite a while.
0792 11:17:43:01 11:17:44:24
This is the stove.
0793 11:17:49:07 11:17:51:23
We'll take the keys, too.
0794 11:19:22:05 11:19:24:11
Dirk died between
0795 11:19:24:21 11:19:27:15
December 10 and 27, 2005
0796 11:20:07:12 11:20:10:20
The imaginary can be my demise
0797 11:20:11:05 11:20:17:22
but at the same time also MY WAY OF LIFE
0798 11:20:52:17 11:20:54:19
Subtitles: John Middleton Film und Video Untertitelung GmbH