PamilyaUNIT 2:

Family

CULTURAL NOTETo the average Filipino, familyalwayscomesfirst. He or she may gain many friends or find other communities in life, but the foundation of a Filipino’s life is family. As the basic social unit in Philippine society, familytakesprecedenceoverallotherindividuals,includingtheself.

In most Filipino families, the parents will stop at nothing to give their children a better future. When the children are grown and able to provide for themselves, they in turn are committed to making the life of their parents easier.

Often the children hesitate to leave home even when they are married and have kids of their own. This is consistent with the concept of utangnaloob,or “debt of the inner self.” Parents have sacrificed for their children, so the children are expected to do everything to reciprocate their love and kindness. As a result, sending parents to a retirement facility would be out of the question.

Filipinos always show much respect for their parents and the elderly in general. Almost all Filipinos greet the elderly with mano po, which, literally translated, means “hand please (sir/madam).” Manopois the physical gesture of taking the hand of an elder and drawing it toward your forehead. This is a sign of respect for the elder, usually done at the moment of greeting or farewell.

Kinship terms in Tagalog have respectful implications and show the hierarchical nature of a Filipino family.

Mothers are referred to as Nanay,Ina,Nanang. (Any others?)

Fathers are referred to as Tatay,Itay,orTatang.

But because of Western influence, Mama, Mom, and Mommy for “Mother” and Papa, Dad and Daddy for “Father” are widely used in Metro-Manila and suburban areas.

Elder sisters and cousins are referred to as Ateormanang, while elder brothers and cousins are referred to as KuyaorManong in general.

After ateandkuya- as the terms for the eldest sister and brother, ditse anddiko are used for the second eldest, and sanse andsangko for third eldest. There is even a term for the wife of the eldest son, inso. Siyahois the husband of the eldest daughter.

These later terms show influence from the Chinese with whom natives of the Philippines have had a long-standing relationship since before Spanish colonization.

Aunts can be called Tita orTiya, and uncles TitoorTiyo. Finally grandmothers and grandfathers are called Lola and Lolo, respectively.

Filipino Families are not restricted to the nuclear family unit. Extended family members are felt to be just as close as nuclear family members by Filipinos. Many relatives live in the same neighbourhood or in close proximity to each other, and many children grow up with their cousins as their best friends.

NUCLEAR

Consist of father, mother, and children

EXTENDED

consists of parents, children, and other close relatives, often living in close proximity

It is quite common to have family reunions compromising as many as a hundred people. Even friends of parents are affectionately called “Uncle” or “Aunt” as if they were blood relatives. This practice adds to the communal feeling of many Filipinos.

Being part of a big, close family is experienced differently than in the west, and there are different perceptions about privacy.

Don’tbesurprisediffamilymembersaskhowmuchmoneyyoumakeorthatrelativesactaschaperonesondates.