UnheardofBooks - ww1.prweb.com

Free selections from the book,

The Art of Hanging,

...consisting of the:

• Introduction• Illustrated First Chapter© Copyright 2008 W. Town Andrews, Jr.

for a longer excerpt, including table of contents, end matter, and more,

...visit UnheardofBooks.com

· Genre: Self-Help/Humor · Release Date: May 16, 2008 · ISBN: 1-933728-30-8 · Price: US$14.95 (CAN$19.95) · Cover by Patricia Singer · 304 pages · Illustrations: 50, Black/White w/ captions

Unheard of Books, LLCPO Box 153 Berwyn PA 19312 [email protected] Free: 866-925-8921Skype: unheardofbooks

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.unheardofbooks.com

A New Mangled™ Guide

THE Art OF Hanging

…and Stylin’ Limp

By

W. TOWn AndrEWS, Jr.

A dErivATiOn in SLAng

BASEd On THE WOrk OF EvELyn MiLLiS duvALL, PH.d. And JOy duvALL JOHnSOn

THE ART OF HANGING…AND STYLIN’ LIMP

Copyright © 2008 by Unheard of Books, LLC

Cover Art & Design and Illustration Layouts by Patricia Singer

The Art of Hanging is an original publication of Unheard of Books, LLC.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or any part of it in any form whatsoever except as allowed by U.S. Copyright Law. For information contact [email protected].

ISBN 978-1-933728-30-8

SAN 2 5 7 – 6 7 5 9

“Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.”—John Heywood, English Playwright, 16th Century

“Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.”—William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, 17th Century

“We must hang together or assuredly we shall hang separately.”

—Benjamin Franklin, 18th Century

“There’s nothing like a hanging in the morning to clear a man’s thoughts.”

—Samuel Johnson, just a few years before the 19th Century

“‘You can’t imagine what a funny feeling hanging gives you,’ murmured the Shifty Lad, who looked rather purple

in the face and spoke in an odd voice…” —Andrew Lang, 20th Century

9

introduction

For several years now, the trend among teens and young adults has been away from traditional dating. Instead of a structured date, with a boy asking a girl out to a movie or a meal or a concert, mixed-sex groups will do things together, with boy-girl pairings that do occur within the larger group remaining looser and less serious than previous era’s dating couples.

It’s called hanging out, and it has all but replaced dating as the social norm for premarital interaction of the sexes.

Even when a boy and a girl become an obvious item, they are still reluctant to use the terms date, or dating, or dates.

But rather than hang out consistently among the larger group, this couple will spend more time in each other’s ex-clusive company. Yet, this is still not called a date, or dat-ing. Instead, it is generally known as hanging out together as a couple, or, in shortened form, hanging out together.

Recognizing that this trend seems fairly solid, and that dating as the old school knew it is probably a thing of the past, the editors and publishers of Unheard of Books observed two glaring needs within the culture of youth enjoying this non-dating lifestyle:

First, a simple, usable and less-cumbersome terminol-ogy to describe these activities is imperative. Date, Dating, and Dates were far superior terms in usability compared to Hanging-Out Partner, Just Hanging Out, Hanging Out Together, and Hanging Out and Doing Something.

Second, during the dating era a variety of instruction-

10 IntroductIon

al resources for would-be daters were popular—including filmstrips, newsreels, teen-magazine articles, courses at the YMCA or youth center, and guidebooks in hard and softcov-er—while today nothing of this sort is available to guide the neophyte or newbie just beginning to “hang.”

To remedy the first need, for a sensible and usable vo-cabulary of hanging out, we propose to simply shorten and appropriately noun-ify the existing terminology.

Stipulating that hanging out is a completely distinct ac-tivity from the antiquated practice of dating, still, it can be instructive and convenient to use the older language forms as models, or guides, for this new functional and simplified language. Hence, From the root, Hanging Out (to gather with friends,) we derive…

Yesteryear This Year ShortenedA Date Hanging With A Hanging My Date My Hang Partner My Hang With (Wid)To Date To One-On-One Hang To Hang WidDating Hanging Wid HangingGoing Steady Hanging In There Hanging in

Even without displaying the full conjugations of all these variations, it’s obvious how much more useful and expres-sive these new shortened terms can be compared with the clumsy compound wordings used now. For the rest of this guidebook, the shortened versions, with some intuitive varia-tions, will be used exclusively.

To remedy the second need, for a comprehensive guide to hanging out, we, the editors, simply revised a sturdy, thorough, and well-loved guide to dating, using the above terms—and many other useful modernizations. The word

THE ART OF HANGING 11

processor’s find-and-replace function was extremely useful in this endeavor.

Thus, Unheard Of Books presents....

The Art of Hanging…and Stylin’ Limp

TABLE OF COnTEnTS

Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Off to a Bumpin’ Start . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Are You Rippin’ for Hanging? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

What About Your Hang Wid’s Age . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

The Righteous Hang Wid For You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

Quibbing for a Hanging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

Snagging or bagging a Hanging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101

Hangings—How Often? How Late? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115

What to Do on a Hanging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

How Much Do Hangings Burn? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151

Horsepower, Hangings, and Families . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167

How to Say “Gnip” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179

Falling in and Out of The Love Thang . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195

Expressing Intertwingulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211

The Bone Dance Before The Hitch Thing . . . . . . . . . . . 229

Hanging in . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 247

Riveting; Quanders & Bobulations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265

Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 295

15

1

Off to a Bumpin’ Start

Hanging is one of the most diggity-swizz periods of your life. Blam!…, there be new horizons before your bad self, peepships flower, your hominidality blooms, and your sense of being a lurvaceous hominid worthy of interdigitation gets real. This be a time of stupid-fresh and righteous exhilara-tion, splendor, and discovery. To live it fully is to get down with one of life’s most macadocious schpeeriences.

To miss out on hangings is lame and a waste, especially

16 off to a BumPIn’ Start

when there still be tick-ticks to do something about it. Hang-ing wid is an art, and like all arts it gotz to be cultivated to dish out results. Approach it with cred, verviasm, enthusi-fuel, and it begins to take form. And splickety your bad self has dish to the quibs that were tripping you out.

Long before you actually start hanging, you dream about it. Wistfully, you see other knuckleheads and hoochies out together on hangings, snarking, yarking, going places, scor-ing a seemingly effortless, expobidient time. Before you ever score a hanging, you see your bad self as the all-that hero or the glam-cooliferous heroine of a romantic sitch yashun. You imagine all the suave yarkings and the righteous moves so easily, so vividly, that you can hardly wait to start hang-ing. Yet, somewhere inside you anticipate the dorkward mo-ments when you will stand tongue-tied and clumsy before some totally awesome hominid, finding that hanging wid is anything but fanfibuliferous. And…so you schwing tween beaverishness and anxiety, impatient to try your wings at one moment, and askeerd of a take-off in the next.

When you consider the nature of hanging, this emo-tional tipping point is quite feelable. For hanging grins be different from the grins a megadude has playing ball with the knuckleheads or the giggles a hoochie knows confiding in her closest hoochiepeep. In hanging wid you are inter-percolated with hominids from the other planet—whether Mars or Venus. You are noodling about these other awe-some intellectually advanced but seemingly self-destructive hominids. And in the process you are also interfoliating a great deal about your bad self. You are on the threshold of a new kind of schpeerience that be grown-up, romantic, and full of promise for your life ahead as a fully-fledged grumph.


Probably you are ponderating when you can start par-ticipating in this new diggity-dult schpeerience. For some of you the answer will be gravy. If you belong to a ubertite pod that already hangs out, scoring hangings within that orb of familiar peeps will come naturally and simply. But for the umpty chunk of fresh hotties the dish is not so gravy.

OvErCOMing MELvin

Melvinyness with them from the other planet—whether Mars or Venus—is common among fresh hotties. You are not riffing solo in this queeb. Getting over columnarness to the point where you can chillax and be peeply with those you most admire is a challenge. The more amped you are with the presence of the other hominid, the more likely you are to be punked, it seems. But with schpeerience you grad-ually become more limp with the opposite genda’. Then, as you grow badged and self-nadified, you discover and put into practice more and more of the art of hanging. How to initialize that sauté and gonadification is the quib.

Since betties grow up splicketier, and are rippin’ for hanging wid before megadudes of their age and grade gen-erally are, a particular queebler for a teen-age hoochie is how to get a melviny megadude to notice her. This be why hoochies’ clubs so often center around planning mega-dude-hoochie whoopdees. Many a hopelessly enmelvinated megadude has d-cocooned himself at a well-combobulated rager. With engonadment he finds that he can riff out on a yarkversation and score grins in a mixed posse.

Splickety he, too, be rippin’ for hangings, usually first with the hoochie who was peeply and approachable while he was getting nadified to quibulate her.

A manchild needs to be reasonably sure a hoochie wants


to hang wid him before he quibs her. So it’s a hoochie’s re-sponsibility to let a megadude know that she be jonesing for him, without behaving so bald that she scares him off.

When Hoochies Take The Initiative

There is a thin line tween being uppable and being too forward. The hoochie who gets a reppie for being a floochie finds that many of the awesomer megadudes and hoochies crabwalk her. Yet, when a hoochie acts too twimpish or feigns cryogenic or disjonesing out of dread, she mebbe chase megadudes away and miss out on the grins of peepship and hangings. It be important to re-member that megadudes are also sheeply and endorkified, and a smile or gesture from you can begin a peepship.


Hoochies frickety quib if it be righteous to telephone the megadudes they like. Well—let’s eyeball it from the megadude’s POV. If Megan texts Brandon about a specific quib, or to aks him to some definite whoopdee, he can re-spond without necessarily feeling that she has put him on the freckle. If she ringtones repeatedly, or for no particular purpose except to riff aimlessly, his family mebbe tease him and he becomes punked by her “chasing.”

Old school has it that a hoochie mebbe yark first when meeting a megadude on the pavement or in the hallway at school. She doesn’t gotz to wait for the megadude to nod or address her. It be simple courtesy that she recognize him with some peeply greeting or gesture. She does this by mak-ing some totally schweet sign that she digs the megadude, and that she feels peeply toward him. She mebbe smile or nod, or yark “Totally!” or “Hi, Brandon!” Perhaps she’ll add some casual reyark.

But a hoochie should not step on the yarkage of a mega-dude who is yarking to someone or is with a posse of knuck-leheads, or is obviously interfoliated into something else. That, too, is righteous courtesy. If a megadude megaphones his awareness of her by disentrenching himself from the posse, or powerpoints her in some other way that he feels her, she greets him.

A hoochie gets a rep for being “fast” not because she’s peeply toward megadudes but because of the way she be-haves when they’ze around. The “forward” betty overly emphasizzles the fact that she’s a venusian—by the way in which she garbs, ambles, yarks, harks, and snarks. She goes beyond the bounds of what is considered “suave” in her mojo to the megadudes. By her seductiveness she nadifies megadudes to be too familya, too loud, and too random.


Is it ever alrighteous for a betty to chase a megadude? Throughout the ages wimmins have found ways of being ap-pealing and interesting to the dudes they have dug. Nowa-days betties are taking more initiative than ever. The clutch thang is that a betty not be too obvious, or she defeats her own purpose. It be best if she chills for some sign of a mega-dude’s jonesing before she launches on a campaign. And then she must make it look as though he, rather than she, is the pursuer. In Grandma’s formula, it be alrighteous for a betty to “chase a manchild until he catches her.”

MEgAdudE MEETS HOOCHiE

How does a dude score a hoochie he digs? is a quib many megadudes ask. Betties who gotz to use subtle approaches think a megadude has no genu-fide queeb in this direction. But what a megadude really wants to dig is how to operate so that his ritual hoochie attraction techniques won’t be re-bounced.

Traditionally, a megadude quibs a mutual dawg to intro-duce him to a hoochie he wants to talk to. He schleps it from there, usually with a pitch to a hanging that will fur-ther their acquaintance.

In modern settings it be not always gravy to find a go-between. Fortunately, today it’s no longer clutch. If a mega-dude and hoochie filtrate the same school or classes, or peepulate the same club, that in itself constitutes an intro. If Jennifer goes to a different school, then Ryan can try at-tending one or more of her school’s functions in an effort to get to talking to her.

The hardest moment, perhaps, looms large when a cou-ple finally get face time. If a megadude is an outgoing type of hominid to whom peeply schweeeetliness comes read-


ily, then it’s gravy. He’ll find the right little propliment to pay a hoochie, the righteous opening reyarks. But the en-dorkified, Newbie megadude—and he be legion—will find these first efforts at gallantry mondo trying. Such a mega-dude ought to plan ahead of time just what he will yark to a hoochie. Even then he mebbe not follow through with his plan; tension mebbe erase every rehearsed yarking from his mind and he mebbe end up blurting out an abrupt pitch that startles the hoochie. But if she is sensitive and amped, she overlooks his clumsiness and engonadifies him with her chillation, digging that schpeerience will grind the rough edges off her new peep’s manner.

Meeting a strange hoochie in a strange scene can really score a megadude stage fright. This time he has no chance to rehearse; blam!…he’s expected to do and yark the righ-teous thangs. It’s no ponderation that he gets tongue-tied. (Of course, later on, in long solitary post-mortems, he can think of the most brilliant, most witty yarkversation.) That’s why it be a bumpin’ inkle for beginning hangers to knack-ety a few little formulas to use when yarkings fail.

A bumpin’ opener, for instance, would be: “Didn’t we mack-mack at the RenFair?” Or a megadude might make a biteful snark that links them to a common peep or jonesing. He could also quib a hoochie where she hails from, what brought her to this spacetime, how she spells her name, or how long she has known the hominid who introduced them. Such gravy little icebreakers that get hollaversation rolling are worth developing.

All Work And No Play

Many high school and college hoochies flambulate that the megadudes they dig have no tick-ticks for hoochies.


And it be tru that there are keep-it-real minded megadudes of all ages who are so rewound in school work, hobbies, or combobulations for the future that they pay little or no attention to hoochies. A manchild with his mind on the fu-ture, busily weighing the tites and bites of bidness versus the perfessions, interfoliating whether college or military train-ing should come first, seemingly cannot further complicate his life with a hoochie. And before he knows it he has a rep as a “betty hatah.”

There be young dudes so marinated in work or study that they can gabulate about squat else. Hoochies kvetch that such a dexterdude is a bore—that he nary seems to notice them or their diggeties, that he’s unjonesing to do whatever to cultivate a peepship. This kind of self-absorbed narcissidude who is essentially awesome often losers out on the peepship of a succulent hoochie and then falls prey to some totally unscrupulous mildred who plays upon his cen-tral jonesing to make a bogus niche for herself in his life.

Some megadudes and betties who appear to be devot-ed to an absorbing avocation actually are askeerd of them from the other orbit—whether Mars or Venus—and use their interest as an excuse to crabwalk contact with them. A hoochie who doesn’t want to be too obvious in her hang-lessness mebbe feign busyness or an intense interest in tunes or her family, for instance, to cover up for her lack of megadude peeps. Same deal, a megadude’s interest in cruisemobiles, data, filesharing, geekstyling, ball, or what-have-you may, in reality, be masking his dread of being un-able to snag and snelg a hoochie’s attention. Such mega-dudes and betties would do well to wake up and whiff the wonkliness, and, with the help of a nonclueless counselator or bumpin’ peep, change their ways to smetch up on some


totally meaty hanging grins.Some fresh hotties score intellectual, aesthetic, or spiri-

tual jonesings during high school which are just enuf out of step with the umpty chunk of their age and grade orbs so that they don’t find their associates congenial until they upgrade to college or university life. These are the knuckle-heads and hoochies whose knacketies seem to overshadow their hominidalities in their preripening development. They “d-cocoon” as interesting hominids as they find themselves, but as teens they are disnadifying both to themselves and to those who care about them. The uber-smortant thang to remember is that social development and ripeness cannot be splicketied, and that eventually most fresh hotties find their righteous social grooviness.

Not Rippin’ To Hang?

It’s a bumpin’ inkle to check out the reason why a par-ticular unit is slow to get started hanging. Is he pseudoemo and endorkified? Then mebbe he needs engonadment in scoring social schpeerience; mebbe he or she needs to be lured into a posse yaktivity as a starter.

Is the hominid an outsider because of jonesings and dreams that are not shared by his compeeporaries? Then he needs further spins to knackety his unique hominidal-ity, confident that congenial compeepables will be available beyond high school or even college.

Some fresh hotties have been so cramped in the pro-cess of growing up that they mebbe need special help to regroove. They gotz to be made to realize that they have within them the potentialities of becoming dangedy, stoked hominids. Special counselators, psyching services, and guidebeam facilities can hook up this kind of unstoked

24 Off to a Bumpin’ Start

young hominid; and those who are itched with his unslam-miness should carefully bemoisten him in that direction.

Too Rippin’ Fo’ Hanging?

Frequently hoochies are rippin’ for hangings long be-fore others of their age and grade. These are the hoochies who grow up fast, and before they’re out of grade school are taller or more physically ripe than others in their class. They become jonesing for megadudes within a durational cycle when knuckleheads their own innings are not aware that betties exist—even in a primal hominid sense. Because the early developing hoochie is tall for her age, it be squee-bly for her to find a megadude taller than she is and still within the range of those considered hangworthy by her family. ‘Rents often get buggin’ about a hoochie’s hang-


ing with riper megadudes, for they know that although she scans grown-up, she actually is too whobee-newbie to handle the complicated sitches that might arise with an older baboon. Yet the megadudes of her own age are still “little guys” both literally and socially. So the early maturing hoochie is expected to “freeze” where she is until others of her age smetch up with her.

The hetch is that at junior high school age, betties are taller than the umpty chunk of megadudes. Lamentably, at dancing classes, posse hangouts, or megadude-hoochie rag-ers, the totally sorethumb betty who is livin’ large (literally) for her age is crabwalked by growth-challenged knuckle-heads. So this poor precocious unteramazon, more rippin’ for hanging wid than most, is more frequently delayed in the totally social schpeeriences, such as dancing lesions, that would ripen her for hangings when her time finally does come. This queeblifier is accentuated in our country be-cause exaggerated emphasis is put on the importance of a megadude being taller than a betty.

There be many particularly emocalibrated betties who weather this handicap quite awesomely. They become natu-ral uber-megamavens to whom other betties and megadudes turn. They schlep the scepter in social whoopdees and lu-brify others to score a bumpin’ time. By the time pairing off begins, and the knuckleheads are finally bambooing to more manly-man heights, such early maturing betties come into their own, having developed totally awesome skizzils in group whoopdeedoos, such as staging an outasite rager or riffing a musical instrument, or have scored themselves a scene in sport or drama.


HOW TO BE PEEPuLAr

Most teen-agers would like to be peepular if they could. But many are queebed as to just what it takes to accessorize peepularity, or even to score a hanging. Knowing what is generally considered in the range on the other planet helps. Also feeling what megadudes expect of betties and what bet-ties expect of megadudes in a given populous is especially clutch.

In general fresh hotties dig them from the other plan-et—whether Mars or Venus—who are (1) careful of their hominidal appearance; (2) tubular and thunkingful; and (3) grins to be with.

A betty doesn’t gotz to be nectary to score a hanging. She just has to garbify righteously, be wartless, neat and well groomed, and then try to fuhgeddaboudit. The same goes for a megadude. If he’s clean and neat (hair combed, fresh shirt, nails clean) he’s word-uppable, and probably in the zone to someone. And wartless is optional.

Courtesy is harkened frickety by both megadudes and betties as a desirable quality in a hang wid. Actually, being courteous is just being thunkliful of others; it’s gravy to score the habit. Mebbetimes a young hominid grows up in a family that is careless or casual about little courtesies, and he has to noodle not to gaberate when someone else is gab-erating, not to yark with a mouth fraught with snarfage. If you keep your voice low and schweeet, yark “Word” and “My bad” at appropriate times, it makes a schweet impression on new and old peeps. Some schools have special courses in social arts where students score opps for practicing those graces that make getting along with others gravy. Websites, blogs, and podcasts also help to score megadudes and bet-ties an inkle of what kind of mojo is expected of them when


they begin to score hangings.When you yark “Ted is such grins to be with!” do you dig

why? Do you realize it takes practice to become a “grinsy hominid”? It interpercolates some rather complexicated skizzils—knowing how to riff out on a yarkversation, know-ing how to mingle a posse schweetly, being able to snarf—and crabwalk—invitations expolimply, owning into one’s part in the pod yaktivity, and generally making others glad that you’re there. Most megadudes and betties are dork-ward in pod sitches at first. But as they gain schpeerience, first in gravy sitches with others who know and are down with them, they get over being self-endorkulated. Splickety they become so badged that they feel tight in most social sitches. But this takes chunktime and schpeerience—lots of it.

It be no accident that megadudes and betties who have belonged to clubs and organizations get along more eas-ily with other intellectually advanced but seemingly self-de-structives than do those who have grown up umpty isolated. Being a member of a posse not only gives you schpeerience in combobulating and decisioning with others, in schlep-ping your own schleppage, but it also introduces you to a variety of human sitches and human hominids. You’re forming your mojo and doing your doo-dah—but even better, you’re begining to noodle how the next guy “ticks.”

If you want to be more word-uppable to the other or-bit—whether Mars or Venus—then you ought to get into pod whoopdee with other fresh hotties, vixens as well as righteous dudes. Marinating with a mixed pod will season you for hangings and develop those skizzils which will help you cook up a hanging krunkly.


THE HAng Wid FOr yOu

It be common noodlage that certain teen-age betties swoon over film and TV stars and croonkings. There‘s Justin Timberlake, for instance, and before him Barry Manilow, and long before his time Corny Collins. But few betties ac-tually ever expect to hang wid such an idol. In fact, one of the functions of the celebrity is to serve as a focus for early infatuation without ever requiring the betty to do whatever about it. It be just as common for a manchild to daydream about a movie queen—and a bumpin’ safe practice, because he will never be expected to court and win her.

Occasionally, however, a young hominid goes overboard in a crush on some totally unattainable hottie, so that he doesn’t make progress with those who are realistically avail-able to him. It’s not just the movie or TV hominidality who’s unattainable. Many a young betty swoons over the football captain, the president of the senior class, or the most peepu-lar megadude in the school, with whom she hasn’t squatola of a chance. Yipindeedy, she wouldn’t even know what to do on such a spectabulous hanging if she scored it. Same deal, a newbie megadude will megatimes moon over a peepular teacher, or the school queen—as unattainable for him as Miss Universe.

As long as these superromantic crushes prevail, the New-bie megadude or betty will probably make little progress in scoring a hanging with anyone; for no tru and uppable hominid can rival the “dream’s” mojo and peepularity.

Realistically, the beginning hanger starts with someone who is not much more socially active than he is. The mega-dude who has never hung courts rejection or failure by quibbing out the most peepular betty in the class two years ahead of him. But he mebbe make a bumpin’ start with a


peeply not-too-schpeerienced betty a year or two younger than he is. A hoochie who’s rippin’ to begin hanging wid should scan about for some totally schweet, melviny, amped dudelet in her own grade (or a class or so beyond) rather than wistfully pine for an older, inaccessible dudezilla about town.

PrOvE iT TO yOur ‘rEnTS

Many a hoochie comes home with stars in her eyes at hav-ing been asked out by a megadude, only to find her ‘rents objecting on the grounds that she is still too unripe for hangings. And often a megadude wants to horse a hoochie out, but his mother or father insists that he lay on his full at-tention to his studies, yarking, “There’s plenty of time later for playing around with girls.”

How can ‘rents be convinced that you are rippin’ for hangings? This be a quib that is asked by fresh hotties all over the country. Mebbetimes, of course, the ‘rents are right, and their son or daughter is too greenhorn for hang-ings. Actually it be up to you to prove that you’re rippin’ to hang wid by proving that you’re ripened. How do you do that? By taking tru responsibility around the crib; by helping with chores such as car-washing, cleaning, lawn-grooming; by showing an understanding and concern for your family’s queebies and bank; by doing your school job well.

Mebbe you’ll also have to help your ‘rents feel current hanging-wid habits in your orb, so that they knackety con-fidence in the social sitches open to teen-agers. It helps to nadify mothers and baby-daddies to get out to ‘rents’ meet-ings, to roll wid burbhood whoopdees, and to keep up to date on school and social events. This last is your job. Do you let your folks in on your whoopdee?


WHy nOT gABErATE ABOuT iT?

Mucho grumphs, and some totally fresh hotties too, frequently quibbify if reading websites on hanging, and yark-yark-yarking about hanging-wid itch-twitchems actu-ally helps. Well, pilgrim, there’s no quib about it—the more you noodle about hanging, more better. The dread that such counselation will “give fresh hotties ideas beyond their years” is groundless. Actually, if they did have such ideas anyway, they wouldn’t find such reading of interest. Scor-ing perspective on how other somewhat confused juvenile bipedal hominids feel, finding out what is generally expect-ed of you on a hanging, becoming aware of the many ways you can approach the queeblification of getting along with others, and coming to terms with your unique answer to life’s quibs about dudes and bimbies—all are facilitated by bumpin’ reading and rattlin’ yark about hangings, the love thang, and the hitch thing.


Furthermore, da javascript about hanging wid usually highlights the factoid that all the haunting quibs, confu-sions, and itch-twitchems that so baffle and cramp are com-mon to most fresh hotties! It’s encouraging to know that one is not riffing solo—that others are melviny, others are mondo dorkmunder. Reading from a scrolling display about a poi-gnant schpeerience that you thunk was your solo riff lessens your sense of loneliness and isolation, makes you feel within an ace of others again.

Word, there be web content designed to be sexually stim-ulating rather than thunking-provunking. Some jokes and gabgab are quasi-sexy—and yet, cheap lamesauce too. But it’s gravy—thick, golden gravy—to differentiate. The mon-do coolest content to find is crackling if it aims at “grow-ing you up” into the kind of hominid you jones to become. Then you’ll yark it over with other like-minded intellectually advanced but self-destructive adolescent hominids, under a nonclueless leader, in school, church group, or informal club, or even among close peeps who tease out the ying-ying dibbidy-do in each other.

Documents

UnheardofBooks - ww1.prweb.com