UnderstandingtheYouthToday.doc

7/17/2019 UnderstandingtheYouthToday.doc

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UNDERSTANDING THE YOUTH TODAY LOVING OUR CHILDREN

I. Introduction (To be given by a Couple Coordinator)

We are God’s children – and He is a personal father to us.

Our relationship with God the father is the ideal as we buildrelationships with our own children.

The prayer “Our Father” ( u!e ""#$%&' teaches us what to as! for froGod) and as parents) we should apply it in our response to needs of ourown children# Our daily bread) For*i+eness for our sins) for*i+in* thosewho hurt us or who sib a*ainst) an appeal not to brin* us to the test orte ptation to sin or to be disobedient.

,s we build stron* fa ilies in the Holy -pirit and as we pursue ourfa ily renewal) we are re inded that throu*h all the trials anddi iculties of rearin* our children) all we need to do is pray to God andbelie+e what /esus says when he re inded us# Would any of you who arefathers *i+e your son a sna!e when he as!s for 0sh1 ,s bad as you are)

you !now how to *i+e *ood thin*s to your children. How uch orethen will the father in hea+en *i+e the Holy -pirit to those who as! Hi 1

,ll of us parents lo+e your children and want only the best for the . Thisis why we best +ery hurt when our children do not see to understandwhy we do the thin*s we do. Oftenti es) isunderstandin*s beco eco pounded and instead of co unicatin*) we resort to e2tre econtrol easures or we 3ust co pletely *i+e up when our children do notrespond to us.

,s we conduct the lo+e foru today) let us allow God to spea! to usthrou*h the lips of the youth today as they present their understandin*of what is happenin* in the fa ily relationships today between parentsand children.

II. The Situation Where Families Find Themselves Today. (To begiven by the youth leaders in charge of the love forum)

". 4arents and children spend little spend ti e to*ether to co unicateand to foster a lo+in* relationship with each other.

5oth parents ha+e full ti e 3obs to eet the 0nancial de ands of thefa ily which includes pro+idin* not 3ust for the basic needs but also*ood education) recreation) and increasin* standards of li+in*.There are any distractions which co pete with ti e to 3ust tal! andha+e personal interaction with e bers of the fa ily such as



tele+ision) co puters) *a es) and other si ilar distractions whichare not fa ily oriented.

$. 6alues and 7haracter For ation which is nor ally learn throu*h our

fa ily are slowly bein* replaced by +alues dictated by e2ternalfactors# ad+ertise ent (which fosters aterialis ') peer pressure

(due to the desire for acceptance') tele+ision stories (which appro+esof casual se2) early relationships) and +ices as sources of pleasure'porno*raphic aterials and others.

8. There is an increase isunderstandin* and isco unicationbetween parents and children due to fears brou*ht about by anincreasin*ly dan*erous en+iron ent which e2poses us to cri e)

+iolence and se2ual per issi+eness.

4arents are so eti es +ery strict and children rebel7hildren !eep their acti+ities secret fro their parents and when

parents 0nd out) it creates another cycle of isunderstandin*s. ,n*er e2pressed by both parties in+ol+ed a**ra+ate the situationand bloc! the co unication between the as both sidesaintain they ha+e *ood reasons for doin* what they do and

refuse to listen to the other.

&. There is a stron* perception of an increasin* de and for personale2cellence and perfection which fosters an at osphere of co petition e+en a on* siblin*s and causes isunderstandin* anddeep resent ents a on* the specially when they percei+e biases orfa+oritis on the part of parents.

9. There is an increasin* nu ber of bro!en fa ilies that producebro!en and hurtin* people who are afraid to lo+e and to recei+e lo+eand to trust people.

III. E ects on the lives of the youth and their family relationship

". :ebellion and ;isobedience which tends to cut o relationships withparents.

$. ac! of co unication with parents cause# increasin* loneliness)

an2iety) confusion) and ay dri+e children to see! out friends whoay sy pathi<e with the because they ha+e the sa e proble and

3ust contribute to the proble by a ir in* their feelin*s.

8. =oun* people tend to see! out an early relationship in the belief thata new relationship is their tic!et out of their fa ily and *i+e theso eone to lo+e and so eone who they will lo+e the ore.>nfortunately) these are te porary easures) which co pound theirproble s because they are e otionally ready and ature to enter



into a relationship with another person. Their e otional +ulnerabilityay ta!e the prone to pre arital se2 and early and unwanted

pre*nancy for youn* wo en.

&. -o e ta!e it out on youn*er siblin*s (brothers or sisters' and causeconstant ?uarrellin* and bic!erin* with then especially when there is

a percei+ed fa+oritis of parents to a particular siblin*. This in turnfurther isolates the for the rest of the fa ily and a!es thee+en ore lonely and afraid.

9. -o e youn* people ay run away fro your proble s and see! tofor*et the or to want to pro+e to others that they are in control byen*a*in* in self%destructi+e acti+ities such as usin* dan*erous dru*s)s o!in*) drin!in* of alcoholic be+era*es) en*a*in* in pro iscuousse2ual acti+ities +andalis ) and +iolent acts includin* suicide.

I!. What can "arents do#

=oun* people who are *oin* throu*h a sta*e of confusion and chan*eneed a lot of lo+e and patience. This is the sta*e when they need*uidance) direction) support and understandin* to help the to stabili<ee otionally.

4arents need to pro+ide the ri*ht balance of lo+e) co passion anddisciple. @t is also i portant for parents to reali<e that children needspace and a ti e for self%disco+ery and to build self%con0dence.

The *rowth of children co es fro a co bination of lo+in* relationshipswith parents) positi+e peer *roups) a fun christian co unity li!e =F7where they can *row in faith and co it ent to God) ature 7hristianrole odels who they are *uide by their own personal e2perience inbuildin* a relationship with God.

Howe+er) parents e2ert a +ery stron* inAuence on the +alues of their

children especially if they aintain open co unication lines and theyare *uided by their own personal e2perience in buildin* a relationshipwith God.

-o e concrete steps that parents can do#

". 4arents should pro+ide an en+iron ent of lo+e and a ir ation fortheir children. , stable arria*e and a har onious relationship



between spouses pro+ide an en+iron ent of support and a stron*sense of stability and con0dence in the future for youn* people.

$. ,n open co unication line can be fostered if parents a+oidbeco in* 3ud* ental. ,lthou*h parents fear for their children) an*erand o+er strictness can 3ust encoura*e children to lie and to leadsecret li+es and for secret relationships. This will widen the *ap

between parents and children.8. @t is nor al for teen%a*ers to ha+e crushed and e+en to fall in lo+e. @tis better to feel co fortable discussin* this with the and sharin*

your own e2periences to foster openness. 7hildren are ore open totell their feelin*s if parents listen to the and respect their feelin*s.Howe+er) parents should also *i+e particular reasonable *uidelines tochildren for their own safety and well bein*.

&. 4arents and children need positi+e and 3oyful ti es to*ether. 6eryoften) busy parents 3ust notice the wron* thin*s that children do andso e children respond by en*a*in* in ne*ati+e attention see!in*.

,+oid this by establishin* a re*ular ti e with the where you can

a ir the for the *ood thin*s that they do. This way) correctionscan be ta!en in the conte2t.9. 4arents should not be afraid to ac!nowled*e their own ista!es and

wea!nesses. This helps the children to *row also in hu ility andacceptance of their own parents. This should be coupled with +erbalassurances of their lo+e and con0dence in their own children.

,c!nowled*e that parents are not perfect and that there are noperfect relationships. Howe+er) there should be a conscious e ort tocontinue to stri+e to i pro+e fa ily relationships.

B. -upport the *roups and their acti+ities that pro+ide positi+e inAuenceon the children such as =F7. 5uildin* the co unity of =F7 is li!e

ensurin* that our children are with *ood co pany and they en*a*edin fun 7hristian acti+ities that build up their leadership potential andco it ent to God.

!. Conclusion (To be given by Couple Coordinator)

God is enou*h. @f we see! our wholeness in Hi ) He will *i+e us the*race to i pro+e our relationship with our children.

God has a beautiful plan for fa ilies. Our fa ily is the buildin* bloc! forour future fa ilies of our children later on. >nless we help the to buildlo+in* and trustin* relationships with us parents) it will be di icult forthe to build lastin* relationships with other people. We were chosen byGod to brin* our children closer to Hi . We are their role odels.

Co one is perfect. There are no perfect relationships. Our relationshipswith our children is not always perfect. Howe+er) there are perfect



o ents with the . Do ents when we lau*h to*ether) we ha+e funti e to*ether when we are there to support each other in ti es of need.Happy o ents that we can store in our e ories and that we canstore in our e ories and that we can *o bac! to durin* di icult ti e inour relationship. 4erfect o ents to loo! forward to) because we !nowthat after the dar!ness) God will brin* is to li*ht) to e2perience that

perfect o ent when we allow oursel+es to e2perience His in0nite lo+eand for*i+eness.

!I. Sharing by some $FC members of the love team and some volunteer parents

"%&$E% F'% E& I*+ 'F F&,I$ %E &TI'*S I"S (by CFCCouple Coordinator)

Lord God, you are our father in heaven You gave us our children totake care of and to love. Bless our fa ily relationship. !end your "oly

!pirit to inspire us and to guide as #e gro# in #isdo andunderstanding. $pen our hearts and inds that #e ay see you as our odel as #e strive to beco e like you as parents. %hat #e ay

re e bers that you gave the life though us. "elp us to loveunconditionally.

"eal our brokennes and ake us #hole again. Give us the grace to

forgive each other for the hurts that #e have caused. Forgive us for our sins especially for the ti es #hen #e have been rebellious anddisobedient. "elp us to gro# in trust and con&dence in your great plan

for us and to &' our eyes on esus especially during di icult ti es. %his

#e as through the ighty na e of your son esus Christ. * en

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UnderstandingtheYouthToday.doc