DEPRESSIE101UITGAWE 18 | 14 DESEMBER 2018

1sit VREUGDE terug injou feesvieringe

family feuds during thefestive season3

depression increasesduring the holidays?2

jou 2018 -voorraadopname4

due to an increase in demands (perceived as stressful), family issues,and being unable to manage expectations.

Depression tends to increase during the holidays

During the holidays, there is an increase in the number of activities, tasks, and social events that people must manage: * shopping and gift-buying can               cause financial and emotional stress * managing crowds, traffic, and malls     or large stores   * travelling to be with family or friends     for the holidays * being unable to be with family or         friends (for whatever reason)   * experiencing a significant loss or         actively grieving  

DEMANDS/STRESS

Onaangename kwessies of vetes met familielede is amper onafwendbaar in die feestyd.Wanneer ‘n familielid verlies, verslawing, mishandeling, vervreemding of ‘n egskeiding moethanteer, is dit iets wat die res van die familie ook sal affekteer. Die gepaardgaande emosiesen die hantering daarvan kan ekstra konflik tot gevolg hê. Vir ‘n depressievegter is diehantering van hierdie “ekstra” emosies net nog ‘n bykomende emosionele las.  

FAMILIEKWESSIES

Although the holidays can be a time for celebration,all of the increased demands on our time, energy,patience, and flexibility can take a toll. Peoplegreeting each other with the expression “HappyHolidays!” can even be perceived by someone withdepression as a demand or an expectation theycannot meet. For those managing depression who may already bestruggling with symptoms of fatigue, irritability,sadness, and feeling unable to cope with change oradditional stress, the result of all the additionalstress of the holidays can be simply feeling unableto meet those expectations, which can lead toincreased feelings of depression.

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

Al les wat met die feesv ier inge gepaard

gaan, maak jou e e r d e r h a r t s e e r a s

v r o l i k .

O o r v o l w i n k e l s e n v e r k e e r s k n o p e

i r r i teer jou meer as gewoonl ik en dit haal

die opwinding en geniet inge ui t al les .

Jy i s die hele tyd m o e g . Dit dra by tot die

gedagte dat jy meer tyd met die fami l ie

moet deurbr ing wat jou eint l ik angst iger

maak, jy kry nie genoeg s laap nie en die

bose kr ingloop kry meer momentum.

Jy v e r m y m e n s e . Daar i s meer sos ia le

geleenthede wat jy moet bywoon. Jy s ien

nie daarvoor kans nie , vera l nie wanneer

jy depress ief i s nie . Jy wil op jou eie

wees, maar dan voel jy weer baie al leen.

‘n O o r s i g v a n j o u j a a r : volgens die

depress ievegter het hy nie veel vermag

nie . Hy voel waardeloos , fokus makl iker

op die mislukkings van die afgelope jaar

en vergeet totaal van die suksesse wat hy

behaal het .

H a r t s e e r e n p y n … jy ervaar f i s iese pyn

bv. hoof - en rugpyn, terwyl ander met

groot opgewondenheid kersbome vers ier .

tekens van depressie gedurende die feestyd

different for older adults

For those who are still active, have children at home or have not yet retired, the

holiday season can be a whirlwind of activity that feels draining.

Challenging in a different way may be the loneliness of older adults as friends die

and family members move away. Older people do not look forward to Christmas,

and many of those said it was because “the festive season brings back too many

memories of loved ones who have passed away.”  

Loneliness is exacerbated by the holiday season.

T I P S F O R

G E T T I N G

T H ROUGH

TH E

S E A SON

G E T P L E N T Y O F R E S T .W H E N Y O U T A K E C A R EO F Y O U R B O D Y , Y O UW I L L F E E L B E T T E R .

T r y t o keep you r

expec t a t i on s o f t he ho l i day

modes t . Tha t may he lp

p reven t f e e l i ng s o f

d i s appo in tmen t o r o f be ing

l e t down .

Know t h a t i t i s OK t o f e e l s ad

o r l one l y . You don ’ t have t o

t r y t o f a ke i t t o l i v e up t o t he

expec t a t i on s o f o the r s .

Spend t ime wi th f r i ends and

o the r peop l e you en j oy . Do

t h i ngs you wan t t o do , no t

j u s t t he t h i ngs you have t o

do .

I t ’ s f i n e t o s ay "no "

some t imes . Wea r i ng you r se l f

ou t wi th t oo many ac t i v i t i e s

wi l l on l y make you f e e l

wor se .

Vra hom om iets saam met jou te doen bv. om te gaan stap of saam fliek toete gaan. Indien hy die uitnodiging van die hand wys, respekteer sy besluit,maar rig weer die uitnodiging. Bied jou hulp aan om hom te help met alledaagse take soos huiswerk, dieaankoop van kruideniersware of gras sny. Moedig die depressievegter aan om oor goeie herinneringe te praat. Dit maghelp dat hy meer deel het aan die feesvieringe. Skep ‘n geleentheid om te luister wanneer die depressievegter oor sy seer wilpraat. Erken dit, luister en moenie oordeel of raad probeer gee nie.

WENKE VIR DIE

DEPRESSIEVEGTER

SE FAMILIE EN VRIENDE

Sit die vreugde terug in jou feesvieringe!

Struktuur en roetines gee ‘n mate van veiligheid.

Hou daar by indien dit vir jou gedurende die jaar werk. 

'n Gelowige wat met depressie worstel, voel tydens ‘n depressie-episode dat Godbaie ver weg is en nie sy gebede (wil) beantwoord nie. Bid, al voel dit of Hy vanjou vergeet het. Probeer Bybel lees, al is jy vir God kwaad. Steun (en bly glo) opsy beloftes. Omdat depressie oor die feestyd kan vererger, is dit vir 'n gelowigedepressievegter ‘n nóg groter uitdaging.

Maak planne vir die vakansie, al bly jy tuis. Maak afsprakemet vriende, besoek plekke saam met vriende, krap in joutuin – enige iets wat vir jou lekker is en waarna jy kanuitsien. Spandeer soveel moontlik tyd in die buitelug. Niemand is gedurende die feestyd net gelukkig nie. Laatjouself toe om in dié tyd hartseer te wees. Wanneer ‘nmens jou emosies probeer onderdruk, skep dit net groterprobleme. Rus soveel jy wil en kan. Moenie sleg voel om elkemiddag ‘n rukkie te slaap of soggens later te lê nie. Gun ditvir jouself.

Probeer om nie

alles so ernstig

op te neem nie.  

Depressievegters het mense om hulle nodig. Gedurendedie vakansietyd is dit nog belangriker. Dis goed en wel omalleentyd te hê, maar moenie jou van almal en diefeesvieringe onttrek nie. Die vakansie bied die ideale geleentheid om te oefen.Gaan stap ver ente teen ‘n gemaklike pas. Fokus daagliks meer gereeld op jou asemhaling. Joubrein kry meer suurstof en terselfdertyd raak jou liggaammeer ontspanne. Reik uit na ander. Help minder bevoorregte mense. Ditsal jou sonder twyfel baie beter laat voel.

Lag!!

Moenie net aanvaar die feestyd gaan vir jou moeilikwees nie. ‘n Mens antisipeer dat dit sleg gaan

wees, maar wanneer jy probeer om jouingesteldheid te verander, kan dit ‘n aangename

tyd saam met vriende en familie wees.

Family feuds & the festive season

Many people who have little to do with their

extended families during the year, tend to spend

Christmas or New Year together. And while we

can choose our friends, our families we can't.

With everyone being thrown together, old

dynamics flare up again and old wounds are

often reopened.

Family feuds can usually be ascribed to two

things:

someone in the family feels that they have not

received their fair share of time, money and

attention

someone feels that he is not treated with the

kind of respect and recognition he deserves

What are the odds of a family fight at the Christmas lunch table? High, very high. 

Contact with the family also raises issues surrounding in-laws, sibling

rivalry, divorces, new partners, unequal treatment of grandchildren  

Invite friends to join in. This is always

a good idea as it dilutes the possible

dramas. Most people are averse to

airing their dirty linen in public.

Don't be afraid to set boundaries. E.g.

"We really would like to have you

with us on Christmas Day, but Hilda

will also be there, and I am asking

both of you not to mention

grandfather's will."

Bearing grudges only gets at you.

Even if you have a reason to feel

begrudged, simmering over this year

after year will eventually interfere in

your life and happiness and might

not affect the other person at all.

Don't hit the campaign trail.

Spending hours canvassing other

family members, trying to get them

on your side, will only make people

irritated with you and therefore less

sympathetic to you and your story.

Let it go - if you behave maturely, you

will only show up those who have

behaved unfairly towards you.  

the effect of

family feuds

m i n i m i s e Beware the bottomless pit. Family feuds

could drain all your energy and leave you

nothing for your own life, work and other

relationships. It might be that while you

agonise endlessly about perceived or

real slights, the object of your hatred

doesn't give you a second thought. Don't

give this issue more energy than it

deserves.

This too shall pass. The dreaded

Christmas lunch or family birthday will

not last forever. It may take three hours,

but there will be a point where you can

get in your car and hit the road.

Take control of your feelings. Other

people can say or do what they want to,

but you can choose your reaction to

these things. You can only be upset if

you allow yourself to be.

Accept that life is not always fair. Parents

are people too and so are children.

Sometimes your parents may not be fair

to you, but by the same token maybe

you are not always that fair to them.

That's life. It gives with the one hand and

takes with the other. Your parents may

give more money to you sister, but you

have a nice job and husband. Take a

deep breath and accept it, difficult as it

may be.

The festive season is atime of reflection on both

the good and the badthings that happened

during the year. Peoplealso tend to get things a

bit out of perspective.Keep this in mind before

you confront your mother,because she didn't want

you to do ballet when youwere seven.

Deur die gejaag om alles gereed te kry, moet ‘n mens tyd maakvir jouself en terugskouend te kyk na die jaar wat weer eensvinniger gevlieg het as die vorige jaar. Oordink die onderstaandevrae en neem eerlike (teenoor jouself) besluite. Dit kan net helpom die nuwe jaar met minder struikelblokke te begin. (Geetelkens ‘n motivering vir jou antwoord.)

Is ek regtig gelukkig? Hou ek van my werk? Wat het ek vanjaar bereik? Hoekom het ek vanjaar so min bereik? Het ek regtig goeie vriende? Hoe gesond is ons familieverhoudinge? Hoe lyk my geldsake? Het ek ‘n vervulde lewe? Hoe beïnvloed die wêreldgebeure my ingesteldheidteenoor die nuwe jaar?

2018

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