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8/7/2019 Two Stories From the Ex-Prodigal
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8/7/2019 Two Stories From the Ex-Prodigal
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Defensive who? Who who who are you ?
I am the owner of the pigsty
Ok bye
Listen, dont hang up
I do not want to be having thisconversation with you?
Listen to me, my prodigal
I am not your prodigal; I am an ex-prodigal
Whatever, you are the prodigal I
know; I have you on my books as anemployee
X it out, I am the Ex Prodigal
You cant just reinvent yourself-listen, we have improved ourworking conditions
Forget it
You remember the food you stolefrom the pigs
(silence)
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tut, tut I am ashamed of you, afterhow much I trusted you and let youin with my own pigs
I was hungry
We are all hungry; we cannot stealfrom pigs you know, I never stealfrom the pigs do I, and let me tellyou even I get hungry
You eat the pigs, dont you?
Yes, I do and I live by differentrules than the ones I expect you tofollow; thats my style
I know, and that is why I am back to my
fathers house
Listen, I do not care much aboutyour father, considering he hasnever worked for me and his own sonstole food from my pigs
Listen, I was hungry, I needed food
You stole from my pigs
Yes I did
Now be a good boy and get back toworking with me
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You must be kidding
Not at all, and from now on you can
eat one extra handful of pig feedwithout having to steal it
Are you nuts?
What! Is this how your fathertaught you to talk to your employerwho provided for you and theemployer you stole from?
What do you want?
I want you to work for me, theworking conditions have improved, Ican make you the chief executive
pigsty boy
I was the only pigsty boy
No no no, there are many prodigalslike you and I have enough pigstiesfor all of them
So what, my fathers house has manyrooms for as many prodigals there arein the world
I want you to be my chief pigstyboy
Forget it
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And lose my best Pigsty boy?
I am no longer your pigsty boy, I eventhrew away the employee id
You have not resigned, you justleft, I can take you to court fornegligence on the job, stealing fromthe precious pigs, pig feed does notgrow on trees you know
Yea, the stuff you had there wasgrowing new stuff on it
Shows how rich it was
Phew it stank
Now stop making that face over thephone and get your spoilt richbackside here
Not over your dead body
How about for wages?
What wages?
Wages and an identity independentof your father
ummm No
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Wages and a bloated identity thatmakes you feel superior to yourbrothers, so you can throw your
weight around
Mmm, that sounds good, but I am quitethe master and inheritor of everythinghere, I have my fathers ring, you see
Yes, that and some pork- I am sureyou have not had pork where you are
Yeah, but I have had fattened calf
Pork, my boy is the real thing, dowe have a deal?
Ok, but I like it here in my fathers
house it feels real thing enough for me
Oh, rather obstinate you havebecome
Thank you
Now listen my boy, I will make you apioneer pigsty-planter cool eh
I am not interested
You will be the boss of your ownpigsty
I am not leaving my fathers house
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Ah, there you are and it is a deal
What are you talking about?
You have agreed to work with me
No I did not
You will plant a pigsty in yourfathers house
What, are you nuts? my dad is Jewish
Alright, stay where you are; juststart by converting your bedroominto a pigsty
What the swine
Plant me a pigsty
How, I dont have pigs or pig feed
Stay where you are, just startliving like it is a pigsty
How do I do that?
Remember how the pigs would fightfor their food
Yes
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Start doing that, let every goodthing from the father revolvearound you, your comforts and your
belly. Just pig it!
That sounds easy
"Do that and you will already have apigsty without pigs or pig food
Wow
The pigsty is within you
Oink
Make rules
What kind of rules
I dont care what rules; any ruleswill rule, and make sure you imposethem with a fervent frown, and makesure those rules dont apply to you
you mean do-as-I-say, dont-do-as-I-dotypes of rules; what else?
When a prodigal comes home andwhen the celebration begins
Ok
I want you to start sulking
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I can do that, my older brother didthat as well
Yes, your brother is a genius, hebecame my partner without evenrunning away from home
Oh, and I thought he was an idiot fornot joining the party
Son
Yes father
Son your brother has been faithfulto me
I see father
Son, I want you to do likewise
When I entered the fathers house hesulked
He was doing my will son
What must I do to be better than him
Ah you want to be better than yourbrother, you have potential, thereis nothing like wanting to be betterthan others that makes you truly my
son and my representative. It was
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dissatisfaction with my identity inthe Fathers presence that made methe owner of the pigsty in the first
place
Tell me father, what must I do?
Stand at the end of the road
Ok
Spot out prodigals even before theyare within your fathers sight
What if dad asks me what I am up to?
Tell him you are helping him keepan eye out for other prodigals
Ok
Tell other prodigals that they arenot good enough for the father andstop them before the party begins
Will that make me better than mybrother?
Of course it will. You will be thestar of my night sky, full of hotair and gas
Wow
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You will prevent that which yourbrother witnessed, the obscenehomecoming
But, Dad, how will I ever tell anotherprodigal that he is not good enough forthe father? I know I was stinking anddirty and smelly and filthy and thefather accepted me the way I was
Did he let you remain that way?
No, he changed me
Who changed you?
The murderer of the innocent calf andall his servants changed me
What did your brother do?
He did not lift a little finger tochange me
Now go the second mile my son, raisea fist to stop people from beingchanged by the murderer and hisover fed servants, and do this bytelling them to change themselveseven before they can enter thefathers house and invent crazychanges that they can neveraccomplish by themselves
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Aye Aye Sir
Now tell the other prodigals that
you had half a sandal on when youcame home
Yes, but it was all worn out
Stop all prodigals who come inwithout sandals
What else
Remember you took a bath in a ditchalong the way
But that did not change me or make mefit for the fathers house
Yes it did, you had a bath, rememberwe have rules that need to befollowed
Oh yes rules
Make a rule of that bath
what about prodigals who had a bath aschildren, before they became prodigals
did they have it they way you did,voluntarily stepping into the ditchtill the water was running over
their heads?
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no sire, they didnt
make that a part of the rule,confuse them with details so theywill not see the father and theywill only hear what you say
Yes sir, this is beginning to sound goodI feel like I am the best prodigal inthe world er I mean ex-prodigal
ha ha ha whatever, once a prodigalalways a prodigal
Even if I am an ex prodigal you mean
Yes yes especially after you become
an ex-prodigal with the ambition tobe better than others
I not only want to be the best, I wantto train people to blindly imitate me sothey can never be better than me
Yes, and you will have a greatpigsty at the rate at which you aregoing
Thank you father
Now get to work, you slimy pigstyboy
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Aye Aye SirCLICK~ ~
The Ex-Prodigal Returns To thePigsty (with a twist)Trrrrrrrrring Trrrrrrrring~ ~
Pigsty for prodigals, how may I helpyou today?
Hello, how are you
I recognize that voice; you must be oneof the prodigal prodigals who left myPigsty
Yes I am
Thank you for calling, how soon can weexpect you back and are you bringinganybody with you?
Hey thanks for the welcome, yes I ambringing somebody with me
Wow, talk about repeat business, who isthis other person you are bringing with
you?
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It is somebody very precious to me
Excellent, excellent, please extend mywarm welcome
I sure will
Well, I am sure a lot must havehappened in your life since you left
Oh, yes a lot did happen
I am dying to know who this newcompanion would be
It is as I told you somebody veryimportant in my life
Awesome, mind if I ask if it is male orfemale
Sure you can ask, it is male
Ah, scandalous as ever, so you
Actually it is not scandalous oranything of that sort
Yeah, I guess for a prodigal prodigalnothing is scandalous
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Funny that the owner of a Pigstyfor Prodigals should consideranything scandalous
What makes you think owners of Pigstydo not have anything good in them?
I did not say that
I have a heart of gold
ha ha ha, Ive noticed
i try to do what little i can forProdigals who are away from home
yeah i know you have a heart ofgold
Most prodigals come with less thanperfect ways you know
Tell me about it
I dont know if you were like that butyou still were a prodigal right
Yes, I was and I still am in manyways
Some Prodigals steal pig feed out ofhunger
Yup, I remember doing that
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Now, I know how tough it is when onehas walked away from ones fathers
house, I know my accommodation is notthe best in the world, but what theSwine it is the best I can offer andProdigals often run back to theirfathers houses
Do they?
Well where else can they go?
You are correct about that
You went back to your fathers house,Right? Tell me how it was to be backthere?
Well it was the best thing thatever happened to me
Tell me all, tell me all gimmy the details
Well the father, fixed a great meal,and invited friends and neighbors,called me his son got me hooked withthe hottest babe in town
Sounds like one heaven of a Father
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Yes, and the best part is that Iwant to invite you to the fathershouse as well
ha ha ha ha ha, really?
Whats so funny about that?
Do you think I have not tried gettingthere?
I am sure you have tried, but sinceyou are still running your pigsty Iam here to invite you home
It does not work that easy my boy
You were like a father to me in my
absence from my real father, if itwere not for you, and your lousypigsty and the sick food you gave mehere I would have never thought ofgoing back to my father
I am glad I have done my bit of good inthis universe, thanks but no thanks Iam not coming to your Fathers house
You said that you have tried in thepast, wanna tell me about what madeyou give up?
Well since it is your long distance
call, I guess I can tell you
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Long before I set up this chain ofPigsty(s) for Prodigals I wanted to
go to where all the prodigals camefrom
All of us set out
All of you meaning
Me and my household, the servants andthe pigs included
I remember lines on the map to theFathers house that pointed that if Iaccepted the goodness of the father,me and my household would beaccepted, I remember an original
translation that said that myhousehold included my babies youknow what these pigs mean to me I cannot think of them as animals
There are many animals in my fathershouse, I remember there was a time of agreat flood when my father ensure thatevery type of animal was protected andtaken car of and also provided mates ofits own kind
Well along the way
Go on tell me what happened along the
way
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Along the way, I met a lot of peoplefrom the Fathers house
More prodigals?
Yeah, some prodigals, some sons whohad never really been prodigals andsome of the fathers servants
mmm tell me what happened
They were worse than my pigsty
Really? What about them?
I cannot tell, because I do notunderstand it, but to me it was clear
that these morons were nothing likethe father
Really? What makes you say that?
They called me names; they said thatI have no place in the fathershouse, they called my pigs animalsand asked me to get out and that if Ishould come to the father, I shouldget rid of my pigs and have a bathand then proceed
What did you do?
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The thing is I feel sorry for thoseidiots because they claim to be fromthe father but they have been away
from the father so long that they asnot anything like Him and my pigscan teach them a thing or two aboutdemonstrating the character of thefather
How do you know that?
I know the father
What
I know the father in my heart
You mean to say that you are own a
pigsty and live with all your pigs andclaim to know the father in your heart
Well all I can say is that thefather accepts me the way I am withall my pigs and I do not have tochange one bit on my own to be moreacceptable to the father
I can see what you mean, but there arestrict anti-pig rules in my fathershouse
I do not know, about that, I havenever been there, all I know is that
I am accepted with my pigs and all
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I can see what you mean, when I was onmy way home, I thought I had to earn my
acceptance by asking that I be made aservant but the father did not give mea chance
If you look at the family book, youwill find some of the oldest ex-prodigals saying things that thefather does accept female servantsin his house, I also have been toldby the other zealous ex-prodigalsthat the father disapproved ofeating pork and then seemed tochange his mind with regard to thebig picture. The big picture changesevery time the boys change their
mind, they do not understand that ifthe big picture is BIG, it need nothave to fit perfectly into theirbuttonhole sized minds
Yeah, I have heard that a lot of viewskeep changing, and I wondered if we arealways seeing only parts of the wholeand frankly if we would ever see thewhole
My call is that I cannot but be apigsty owner and I cannot but livelike I belong to the father while Iam a pigsty owner
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Cricky, but true
Well you said that you wanted to
come over, when can I expect you atthe pigsty?
Father and I will be moving in for goodthis evening
CLICK~ ~