Turning Hearts to God and Family through Telling and Writing

Sacred Stories

David C. Dollahite, Ph.D.

Professor of Family LifeBrigham Young University

Wilson Folklore Archives Founders LectureHarold B. Lee Library November 10, 2011

The Spirit of Elijah

Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet. And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

(Malachi 4:5-6)

The Spirit of Elijah: Turning the Hearts of the Living to the Living

“It is time for us to think of turning the hearts of parents to children now while living, that there might be a bond between parents and children that will last beyond death. It is a very real principle, and we should consider it.”

President Boyd K. Packer

Hasidic Jewish Saying

Give people a fact, and you enlighten their

minds; tell them a story and you touch their souls.

In the entry on “family story and myth” in the Marriage and Family Encyclopedia, it states that family stories: “help bind the members of the family together by creating a community of memory, a chronicle of the way a particular family thinks about itself,”

“enrich the perspectives family members have regarding intergenerational relationships.”

Ponzetti, J. J., & Kellar-Guenther, Y. (). Family Stories and Myths. In The Marriage and Family Encyclopedia. Available online at (http://family.jrank.org /.

The Power of Stories

Stories:are about life as it is livedhave surprises, twists, heroes, actioncapture the essence of lifekeep listeners involved and interestedusually are hopefultouch hearts, minds, and spirits

An Invitation

During this talk you might think of a sacred story that you would like to share and/or record with loved ones.

I Invite you to write down whatever promptings you receive and then act on them.

Why So Much TV and Novels?

Deep hunger for stories in human beings and TV stories (even bad ones) and novels fill that gap

Entertainment-saturated culture created by professionals

Less telling of important stories in families

Passive entertainment (watchers, listeners, & clickers)

Thus, we don’t talk to each other enough in families nor tell each other thing things of our souls.

Turning Hearts ThroughSacred Stories

Sacred stories are stories with deepest meaning

These “stories of the soul” deal with values, gospel truths, and other meaningful things

Include stories of important spiritual changes in your life and of your ancestors

Megan’s story:

Your Reaction to Story?

Different from “ideas” I had been sharing?

Perhaps paid a little more attention?

Perhaps prompted feelings & thoughts?

Story may have been motivating? (Dads)

Kinds of Family StorytellingMost Likely to Turn Hearts

True stories/lived experience

Stories involving family members

Sacred stories of one’s faith tradition

Personal sacred stories (missionary & conversion stories)

CoupleStories

ParentStories

ChildStories

GrandparentStories

SiblingStories

OurFAMILY

“Your Grandpa is a Hero”

One story I tell my children is about their grandpa, my father, when he acted heroically (in my mind) or from a sense of duty (in his mind):

Stories of Our Family’s Spiritual/Religious Experiences

How our family worships togetherWhat our family considers answers to prayerWhat important spiritual experiences our family has hadMiracles our family has experiencedWhat important blessings our family has received

Best Time to Tell Sacred Stories—Anytime, All the Time

Dinner time (earn dessert with story) Bed time (kids most receptive) Family home evening (ancestor game) Reading scriptures (application stories) In the car while traveling (journey

stories) At the “Crossroads” (decision time)

StoriesOf Miracles

Storiesof Healing

Storiesof Service

Storiesof kindness

StoriesOf change

SacredSTORIES

Minor Miracle in the Desert “He paid for your starter . . . “

New Approaches

Embrace new avenues of sharing stories in ways that fit comfortably into present day culture.

Internet helps people satisfy a deep and universal need to tell their stories.

Social Networking as Storytelling

Proliferation of social networking sites, blogs, and digital video testify that we desire to tell our stories, connect with other human beings, and be remembered

Try not to become absorbed/lost in all the minutia and try also to tell and record sacred stories of transcendent meaning

Storieson Paper

Stories on Audio-tape

Stories on Photographs

Stories on Video-tape

StoriesOn computer

storingSTORIES

Some Storage Examples

Video tape: Fairfax stories

Audio tape: Aunt Eunice

Paper (spiritual autobiography)

Photos: Rachel scrapbook of Amherst trip

Computers: Grandpa Iver picture book

Consume Garbage or Create Treasures?

Many use their computers to consume virtual

garbage

You and your family members can use your computer to create familial treasures

Kid History

Videos done by an LDS family (6 so far) that tell family stories from the kid’s perspective and acted out by the adults

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80entLldZOg&feature=related (6 minutes)

Article on Family Storytelling

http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/2004/Summer/familybonds.aspx

Some Good Scholarly Books

Story Re-Visions by Alan Parry & Robert E. Doan (1994, Guildford Press)

Ethics and Process in The Narrative Study of Lives edited by Ruthellen Josselson (1996, Sage)

Narrative Solutions in Brief Therapy by Joseph B. Eron & Thomas W. Lund (1996, Guilford)

Telling Stories by Michael Roemer (1995 Rowman & Littlefield)

Some Good Practical Books

Keeping Family Stories Alive by Vera Rosenbluth (1997, Hartley & Marks)

The Gift of Stories by Robert Atkinson (1995, Bergin & Garvey)

Living Legacies by Duane Elgin & Coleen LeDrew (2001, Conari Press)

Your Mythic Journey by Sam Keen & Anne Valley-Fox (1989, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Perigee)