True True FriendshipFriendship

• Presented by E. Vande KerkPresented by E. Vande Kerk

True FriendshipTrue Friendship

““A real friend sticks closer than a A real friend sticks closer than a brother.”brother.”

(Proverbs 18:24b)(Proverbs 18:24b)

True Friendship:True Friendship:

• when found is a blessing and should be when found is a blessing and should be cherished.cherished.

• is genuine care and concern.is genuine care and concern.• not fake, not fraudulent, no betrayalnot fake, not fraudulent, no betrayal

• is maintained in trust.is maintained in trust.

Two Kinds of Friendship in Two Kinds of Friendship in our Society Today:our Society Today:

1.1. Genuine FriendshipGenuine Friendship

2.2. False FriendshipFalse Friendship

False Friendship

• Pr 19:4, 6, “Wealth makes many “friends”, poverty drives them all away…Many seek favors a ruler; everyone is the friend of a person who gives gifts.”

False Friendship (parasitic)

• ignores “inner characteristics”• consumed with “external qualities”

• seeks to befriend wealth• seeks to befriend power• seeks to befriend popularity

• when the wealth, power, or gifts are gone or not useful. . .the friendship fades.

Three “C’s” of Genuine

Friendship

1. Genuine friendship is constant: (enduring, loyal, determined)

• Psalm 15:1a, 3 “Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord?...Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors, or speak evil of their friends.”

• Pr 17:17, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”

ONSTANT ONSTANT

•Elisha (2 KINGS 2:2)

“And Elijah said to Elisha, "Stay here, please, for the LORD has told me to go to Bethel." But Elisha said, "As the LORD lives, and you yourself live, I will never leave you!" So they went down together to Bethel.

ONSTANTONSTANT

Examples

• RUTH (1:15-17)

“Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. 17 Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”

ONSTANT ONSTANT

Examples

• PROVERBS 27:10a

“Never abandon a friend, either yours or your father’s.”

ONSTANT ONSTANT

1. Some things simply need to remain confidential.

2. A friend doesn’t rush “news” that was privately confided to him into the “press”.

ONFIDENTIALITY ONFIDENTIALITY

• Proverbs 16:28,

“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.”

• Proverbs 17:9

“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

ONFIDENTIALITY ONFIDENTIALITY

1. Genuine friendship can handle “constructive criticism.”

2. True friendship respects “constructive criticism.”

ONSTRUCTIVEONSTRUCTIVERITICISM RITICISM

Opposite: “destructive” criticism has the purpose of “destroying” its target.

ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

• PROVERBS 27:5-6

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

• PROVERBS 27:9

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

CONSTRUCTIVE!

• PROVERBS 27:17

As iron sharpens iron,      so a friend sharpens a friend.

ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

1. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY

Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.

IF YOU ARE “Godly” YOU WILL SEEK OUT FRIENDS WHO GIVE GODLY ADVICE.

2. CHOOSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH GOD-FEARING PEOPLE

Ps 119:63 “I am a friend to anyone who fears you, anyone who obeys your commandments.”

• SPEND TIME WITH CHRISTIANS!

3. REFUSE THE WICKEDProv. 24: 1-2 Don’t envy evil people

      or desire their company, for their hearts plot violence,      and their words always stir up trouble.

Friendship with the King of kings?

1. We are denied when we are friends with the world. James 4:4• You adulterers! Don’t you realize that

friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.

Friendship with the King of kings?

2. Comes through obedience (John 15:13-15)

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you

everything the Father told me.