This is an account of the most traumatizing event in my life. It happened when I was ill back in the

hospital. I remember feeling very hopeful and upbeat about recovering, but at that time the doctors

hadn’t diagnosed me yet and didn’t know I had WD. Every time I think back onto this brief event in my

life, I feel uneasy. This was the turning point from me keeping my sanity while in the hospital. After this

event, I almost went completely insane.

I was eating while sitting up on the bed in my room inside the hospital. I told my mom, “I don’t know

why, but I suddenly love Chinese food!”

Before, I would always complain about how we always eat Chinese food and nothing is different. She

replied, “You always liked Chinese food.”

Then, my mom went out for awhile to get some utensils. I began to have uncontrollable thoughts. I

smiled and thought to myself, “Why did I say that?”

I panicked, and then a couple of seconds later I thought, “Oh no! My life in ruined! What should I do?

My life is ruined!”

I didn’t think what I just thought was ridiculous and irrational at that time. Suddenly, it became very

hard for me to eat and I stopped chewing. My mom came in and asked me if I wanted some fruit. I

couldn’t respond, so she guessed I didn’t want any. Then she asked me a few other questions, but I was

unable to respond. I dropped my spoon and leaned back into my bed (the upper part was moved up so it

looked like a chair). I couldn’t move. I suddenly thought, “OH NO! Not now! I’m going to die…good-bye

mom…good-bye Daniel.” An image of Daniel flashed before my eyes.

Right after, I had a vision where I was at my grandpa’s funeral. My eyes were wide open, and I honestly

did believe that my heart stopped beating because I couldn’t feel anything and I had absolutely no

control over my body. I stared straight at the wall in front of me. It was as if time had frozen for me.

Then I thought, “Is this what happens when you die? You have to watch your own funeral while unable

to respond and do anything? This is horrible! I don’t want this!”

My mom yelled out my name and shook me. When I still didn’t respond, she pressed the side of her

head against my chest to check if my heart was beating. Then she ran out of the room to get the nurse.

A minute later, the nurse came in. My mom repeatedly screamed out my name over and over again.

Then, I slowly began to snap out of my paralyzed state. I began speaking gibberish. It was as if in that

specific time period I had forgotten how to speak. Then, I began shouting out, “Mommy, mommy!”

At first, my voice was soft, but then it became louder as I kept on shouting, “Mommy!”

My mom said, “I’m here! It’s all right!”

She hugged me. I felt like I had been revived from the dead. We were both so happy. She told me my

heart never stopped beating because I told her that I thought it did. She told me how scared she was:

“You scared me to death!”

Suddenly, we both were laughing and crying at the same time. The nurse simply smiled and said, “All

that happened was that she was knocked out from the Benadryl.”

My mom told the nurse to never give me Benadryl ever again. It was supposed to make me sleep. In the

next couple of days, I had a high level of anxiety. My body wouldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t sleep. I

became incredibly frightened. I quickly began to lose my sanity. I would actually FORGET how to sleep. I

would sit up in my bed claiming I was sleeping. Then I would twist my head around and do all sorts of

crazy motions. I didn’t know if I slept or not anymore. Then it hit me- a thought. I suddenly stood up and

told my mom, “It’s the Benadryl! The Benadryl is making me do this! It’s supposed to make me sleep!

Benadryl is still in my body!”

I believed that I no longer had control over my body. It was as if a devil possessed me. My mom thought

I was going crazy, but I thought what I believed was rational. She said, “Yes, we know that Benadryl is

bad, but the nurse didn’t give you any.”

The nurse came in after my mom called for her and said, “Benadryl was supposed to be flushed out of

your body through urinating. It only lasts 12 hours. It’s been several days.”

I didn’t believe a word that nurse said. I continued to believe that Benadryl was still in my body and that

I knew I had to find a way to get rid of it. I was going completely insane.

My mental state went rapidly downhill. I began to seriously believe that if I fell asleep I would die. I

would have uncontrollable thoughts and hallucinations of me dying and being in hell. It was severe

depression combined with intense fear. I didn’t know how to act normal anymore. Going to Cincinnati,

Ohio was all a blur to me. I couldn’t tell the difference between nightmare and reality. I thought I was

dead or just having a long nightmare where I couldn’t wake up from, meaning I believed I was in a coma.

I didn’t snap out of it until I returned home, where I slowly recovered and regained my sanity in the next

couple of months (Jan. 2009).