Compiled by Beyond Words Psychological Services 2015

TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOK LISTS

Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/multicultural-books Lee and Low: http://blog.leeandlow.com/2013/10/10/book-list-childrens-books-with-transracial-adoption Little Parachutes: http://www.littleparachutes.com/subcategory.php?sid=92 Tapestry Books: http://www.tapestrybooks.com Understanding Prejudice: http://www.understandingprejudice.org/readroom/kidsbib.htm

ADOPTION & TRANSRACIAL/CULTURAL BOOKS FOR KIDS

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl

The Colors of Us Karen Katz

The Day We Met You Phoebe Koehler

Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Foster Youth Diane Rene Christian & Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman

A Different Home: A New Foster Child’s Story John DeGarmo

EMPOWRD! Ways to Respond to Adoption Questions Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker

Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights Julie Nelson

How I Was Adopted Joanna Cole

I Don’t Have Your Eyes Carrie Kitze

I Love My Hair! Natasha Anastasia Tarpley

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes Rose Lewis

It’s Okay to Be Different Todd Parr

A Long Way from Home Rey Sirakavit

Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care Jennifer Wilgocki

A Mother for Choco Keiko Kasza

My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You Dr. Kevin Leman

A Rainbow of Friends P.K. Hallinan

The Red Thread: An Adoption Fairy Tale Grace Lin

Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story Lori Rosove

Sesame Street: We’re Different, We’re the Same Bobbi Jane Kates

Shades of People Shelley Rotner & Sheila Kelly

The Skin You Live In Michael Tyler

The Sneetches & Other Stories Dr. Seuss

Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption, & Brownies with Sprinkles Darlene Friedman

Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale Karen Henry Clark

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born Jamie Lee Curtis

White Oleander Janet Fitch (For older teens)

Yafi’s Family: An Ethiopian Boy’s Journey of Love, Loss, and Adoption Linda Pettitt

ADOPTION & RACIAL IDENTITY BOOKS FOR PARENTS

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections Jean MacLeod & Dr. Sheena Macrae

And Still We Rise: The Trials and Triumphs of Twelve Gifted Inner-City High School Students Miles Corwin

Are Those Kids Yours? Cheri Register

Attaching in Adoption Deborah Gray

Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens Debbie Riley & John Meeks (C.A.S.E.)

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged

Children with Severe Behaviors Heather Forbes & B. Bryan Post

Black Baby White Hands: A View From the Crib Jaiya John

Compiled by Beyond Words Psychological Services 2015

A Black Man’s Guide to Law Enforcement in America Shaqif Abdussabur

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog and Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook Bruce Perry & Maia

Szalavitz

Brown Babies, Pink Parents Amy Ford

Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent’s Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children Rachel

Garlinghouse

The Connected Child Dr. Karen Purvis & Dr. David Cross

Daughter of the Ganges: The Story of One Girl's Adoption and Her Return Journey to India Asha Miro

Growing an In-Sync Child: Simple, Fun Activities to Help Every Child Develop, Learn, and Grow Carol Kranowitz

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World

Marguerite Wright

In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories Rita Simon & Rhonda Roorda

In Their Parents' Voices: Reflections on Raising Transracial Adoptees Rita Simon & Rhonda Roorda

In Their Siblings' Voices: White Non-Adopted Siblings Talk About Their Experiences Being Raised with Black

and Biracial Brothers and Sisters Rita Simon & Rhonda Roorda

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness Michelle Alexander

Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption Jane Jeong Trenka & Julie Chinyere Oparah

Parenting from the Inside Out Dr. Daniel Siegel

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal & Grow Gregory Keck

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years Patty

Cogen

The Skin We’re In: Teaching Our Teens to Be Emotionally Strong, Socially Smart, and Spiritually Connected

Janie Victoria Ward

Three Little Words: A Memoir Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Warriors Don't Cry: A Searing Memoir of the Battle to Integrate Little Rock's Central High Melba Pattillo Beals

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind Dr. Daniel Siegel

“Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?” and Other Conversations About Race Dr. Beverly

Daniel Tatum

4 Books by Dave Pelzer: A Child Called “It”

(For parents & teens) The Lost Boy: A Foster Child’s Search for the Love of a Family

The Privilege of Youth

A Man Named Dave: A Story of Triumph and Forgiveness

BOOKS FOR RELATIVES & FRIENDS

Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives & Friends Must Know Patricia Irwin Johnston

I’m On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption, A Guide For Relatives & Friends

Elisabeth O’Toole

Presented by

Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker

& The Colorado Post-Adoption Resource Center

• The myth of “colorblindness”

• Educate your child to be aware of

systemic racism for their own daily

protection

What’s mentionable is manageable. Fred Rogers

• White as “the norm” & an

advantage in the U.S.

• Racism exists on personal

& institutional levels

• Prejudice = Thought

• Discrimination = Action

• “Ism’s” = Systemic

Oppression

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

=Wf9QBnPK6Yg

• Focus on literal color, but notice what’s “familiar”

• Unable to accurately identify race of self or others

• Fantasy world where anything can change, including skin color

• Developmentally inclined to see people as individuals

• Parenting tips: Introduce books & movies celebrating diversity, widen your circle of friends to include greater diversity, do not impose “adult meaning”

• Categorize complexion/tone, but still do not accurately

comprehend race

• Believe anything can be changed through magic

Especially for kids who remember every other aspect

of their life changing because of foster/adoption!

• Friendly towards anyone who has kind interactions

• Prejudice & discrimination begin to

surface if role-modeled

• Pair brown items with compliments of beauty

• Encourage curiosity by responding to questions; do not discourage due to discomfort because it sends the message that differences are negative

• Promote honesty by allowing children to see color & openly discuss differences

• Analogies to emphasize celebration of diversity: • Garden of flowers all different colors, sizes & shapes, but all

need the same things to grow strong and healthy

• M&M’s all different colors on the outside, same on the inside

• EXPOSURE!!!!...to people, places, activities, foods, celebrations, books, toys, movies, games, etc.

• Share about heritage of family members & celebrate traditions

• Starting to identify race accurately, may still get

confused (i.e. Asian person is Black)

• Begin to understand permanency & genes

This is why adoption & birth family questions commonly

begin to surface at this age!

• Categorize by skin color & recognize

it has more meaning

• Use stereotypes learned from family

& media

• Carefully choose the media, books & toys in your home as jumping off points for honest discussions of race/culture, especially throughout history • Even Disney movies offer discussions of differences in culture,

socioeconomic status, etc.

• Turn everyday moments into teachable moments • Example: Why are certain characters portrayed in stereotypical ways

in the media?

• Challenge stereotypes as they come up • “What makes you think that?” or “Where did you learn that?”

• Explain why it is untrue & unacceptable

• Distinguish race vs. true skin color to prepare children for prejudice they may face

• Continued importance of exposure & celebrations of family heritage!

• Accurately identify race & ethnicity

• Understand genetic link

• Identify a person’s ethnicity based on physical, social

& behavioral cues

• Full-fledged stereotypes based on

society & media unless otherwise

taught

• Continue to challenge stereotypes & emphasize teachable moments

• Continue to model respect & acceptance of differences in members of your community – remember the importance of congruence in your messages & behavior!

• Keep the lines of communication open & invite ongoing discussion

• Broaden opportunities for exposure to diversity through community organizations, activities, classes, etc.

• Be involved & aware of your child’s social circle

• Object of Curiosity “What are you?”

or “Where are you from?”

• Ethnic Assumptions “You’re Mexican, right?”

• Cultural Assumptions “When is the Chinese

New Year?” or “Do you have a good curry recipe?”

• Mistaken Babysitter “Oh, those are YOUR kids?!”

• Romantic relationship “That’s your dad?! I thought it was your

boyfriend!”

• Backhanded compliments “You’re cute for a Black girl” or

“Since you’re Asian you must be good at math”

• Treated differently when alone vs. with parents Followed in store by law enforcement, assumed to not speak English, etc.

• Avoiding eye contact

• Moving away to avoid physical contact

• Ignoring

• Leaving abruptly

• Sudden silence or whispering upon entering the room

• Glaring, staring, suspicious glances, eye rolling

• Cutting ahead in line or serving out of order

• Interrupting

• Holding money items more closely

or checking them repeatedly

• Holding children more closely

• How will you manage your own reactions to incidents?

• Always address your child’s hurt first, not the person who

hurt them

• Consider how White privilege may allow you to have

different responses than your non-White child

• Role model various methods of response to help your

child find their best fit

• How & when is the “right time?”

• Validation reflections:

“I am so sorry you feel ___.”

“I can understand why you feel ___.”

“It makes sense to feel ___.”

“I would feel the same way.”

• Avoid use of the word “different” to describe your child

because it implies blame & tolerance

• Value your child’s input & work collaboratively to reach a

resolution

Redirect – conversation, energy

Avoid – danger, conflict

Defuse – kindness, offer help

Report – safety, struggles

Ignore – walk away with pride

Comeback – educate, humor, questions

• Acknowledge differences AND commonalities

• Myriad of ways to identify self & others

• Acknowledge blessing & burden of living in “multiple

worlds”

• Follow child’s lead, use their developmental

perspective to describe race & talk about racism

• Awareness & ownership over parent biases in an

effort to send clear, consistent, positive messages

• Expand your own world and actively engage in race

discussions with adult friends/adoptees of color

• Make diversity the norm from a young age

• Friends, social activities, daycare, school

• Books, TV, movies, music

• Toys, dolls, home décor

• Meal-planning & family outings

• Find role models who look like your child

• Celebrate holidays of all cultures, including yours! Juneteenth, Cinco de Mayo, Diwali, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Unity Day

• Acknowledge differences in cultures (i.e. language, accent), then link commonalities (i.e. language is used to communicate love, fear, pride, needs, etc.)

• “The Cultural Iceberg” – importance of visiting birth country & knowing people of your child’s race

Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker

Beyond Words Psychological Services LLC

www.growbeyondwords.com

info@growbeyondwords.com

The Colorado Post-Adoption Resource Center

www.adoptex.org

Compiled by Beyond Words Psychological Services LLC 2016

RECOMMENDED BLOGS & INTERACTIVE SITES

30 Days of Adoptee Resources: http://www.growbeyondwords.com/30-days-of-adoptee-

resources-for-national-adoption-month-2016/

The Adopted Life (Angela Tucker): http://www.theadoptedlife.com

The Declassified Adoptee: http://www.declassifiedadoptee.com

Dear Adoption: https://dearadoption.com/

Diary of A Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee: http://diaryofanotsoangryasianadoptee.com

John Raible Online: https://johnraible.wordpress.com

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: http://landofgazillionadoptees.com

The Lost Daughters: http://www.thelostdaughters.com

#MarchMiniLessonsOnRace:

http://www.growbeyondwords.com/marchminilessonsonrace/

My Mind on Paper: https://mymindonpaper.wordpress.com

Not Just Hair: The Intersection of Hair/Skincare and Transracial Adoption:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1558461304393944/

The Not-So-Secret Life of an Adoptee: http://www.thenotsosecretlifeofanadoptee.com

Reshma McClintock: http://www.writtenbyresh.com

Tara Vanderwoude: http://www.taravanderwoude.com

Transracial Adoption: https://www.facebook.com/groups/454175457988230/

Transracial Adoption Perspectives:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/transracialperspectives/

Trauma to Treasure: A Healing Journey: https://traumatotreasure.wordpress.com