Transgender Punk Rock Goddess: A zine dedicated to Laura Jane Grace

**TW: Talk of Suicide**

When Laura Jane Grace was interviewed for Cosmopolitan - that was the first time I’d ever picked one up

Being a transwoman - living with her family who she’s out to but who ignore her transness - it compounds how interesting it was to have a Cosmopolitan in the house

(And can’t I just hear my dad, “What does my son have this ladies magazine for?”)

Part of the larger significance, at least for me, of having Laura printed on the pages of a mainstream media magazine, was that most of mainstream music history has white cishet men wearing dresses on stage to seem ‘edgy’ or for ‘shock value’.

While I respect that for what it is, I also disrespect it for the (I hope unintended) consequences it has.

See, these cishet men get up and do their shock rock schtick and then the first time I paint my nails and my dad finds out -

Firstly, he makes me remove the nail polish and

Secondly, he tells me, “Here, I’ll make a deal with you, you can paint your nails black if you want to, like your shock rockers.”

(For some context, if you care - my nails had been a dark purple, I was in 8th grade and my dad’s reference to ‘your shock rockers’ was probably a stab at Marilyn Manson who I love(d) and who he hate(s).)

But! This isn’t about me

This is about another transwoman with much better pipes and poetry than I

Laura Jane Grace came out into a world, working within a career, where her real lived experiences, her gender expression, were used by others to sell tickets and get space in magazines.

The New York Dolls all femme’d up

And then something unusual and wonderful happened - the world, especially the punk world said - “Awesome! So when’s your next album coming out?”

(And I’m not/can’t speaking on Laura’s lived experiences since coming out, only on my observations).

There was a really powerful moment when Laura was being interviewed by George Stroumboulopoulos

They were talking about suicide statistics. About how it’s 41% of transpeople who attempt suicide and only 1-2% of cispeople.

And George asked Laura, “And how did you manage your way through that?”

And without missing a beat she says, “Well, I’m a part of that statistic.”

And George is stunned. Actually literally speechless.

I believe that we think that if people are alive and in front of us that they aren’t apart of any suicide statistic - but that’s not always the case.

But what stood out most to me is that discernment we don’t make - that people attempt suicide and survive, or that people can be a part of a group so often driven to suicide, and their lucky or fierce or beautiful enough never to be driven to even attempt such things.

Don’t fill the people you know with empty platitudes about how strong they are -

ask them how they are and mean it

ask them how they are hoping for hugs and expecting tears

And as always, love, respect, admire and cherish transwomen - we are cosmic goddesses

“True Trans Soul Rebel” by Against Me!

All dressed up and nowhere to go,Walking the streets all alone.Another night to wish you could forget,Making yourself up as you go along.

Who's gonna take you home tonight?Who's gonna take you home?Does god bless your transsexual heart, True Trans Soul Rebel?

Yet to be born or already deadYou sleep with a gun beside you in bed.You follow it through to the obvious end:Slit your veins wide open,You bleed it out.

You should've been a mother,You should've been a wife.You should've been gone from here years ago,You should be living a different life.

-- From Transgender Dysphoria Blues (2014)

WE LOVE YOU LAURA JANE GRACE!