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I live and work on Martha’s Vineyard I work at this place, Fiddlehead Farm
We run out of a tiny building, most of our produce is in buckets outside
We sell all-natural and organic food products. The prices are crazy but don’t scare off the tourists
All the tourists seem the same to the locals
Greasy and/or salty hair
Annoyed with someone who
works here
Shitty t-shirt he bought yesterday
I guess you could say locals are all the same too
Tired eyes
Peace sign shirt
Annoyed by tourists
But we can’t survive without each other so life goes on
Crazy Tourists: Tattoo Hater Guy
Crazy Tourists: Coffee Guy
Sometimes ‘crazy’ doesn’t cut it for the tourists But ‘bat shit insane’ usually works
We’re about to close.
Sorry I can’t
You’re out of coffee, make some more.
What the hell do you mean?!
I’m the CUSTOMER!!
What about YOU? Can YOU make me some damn coffee?
I’m sorry but like Rebecca said we’re closing soon and we
can’t make any more
Cue the meltdown…
Make an exception!I’m a fucking customer!
This is so wrongI can’t believe this. I am leavingDon’t count on me coming back
Things I’d Like to Say to Rude Tourists
Oh no, that’s fine just unfold every fucking shirt I just
spent 40 minutes putting away
I’m so sorry that I planted those peach trees in California as an infant
and sold them to a storeI work at and then sold them
to you for $12 a pound
Don’t be a bitch, or I’ll put my finger on the scale when
I weigh your produce.
I’m sorry, you don’t seem to understand, I don’t give a shit about your
vacation.
Crazy Local: Asks Me Out Guy
Here comes regular Frank, with kids this time
Hi there! This is John,
and here is Sarah
Yeah they’re trying to find someone cute,
like you, for me to date
After that every time he came in I hid in the stock room
Just tell me when he’s gone
Spending 60+ hours a week with the same people turns them into your second family
Your generation…Bob…
But they can be a cool family
Crazy Coworkers: Bob
Bob spends most of his day making fun of customers
Fucking idiots
But he loves to make fun of “our generation” even more
See here’s the problem with your generation You are addicted
to technologyI wouldn’t be surprised if you
went through withdrawal
But we cope
Ugh listen 2 him
Rebecca R
I know!
Blah blah blah
Good luck w/ no cell Bob!
Bob says the only time he ever used a cell phone he got hit by lightning
We don’t believe him
Ok Bob, the next time you need an ambulance I’ll be sure to
find a land line for you
Signs I Wish I Could Hang in the Store
I know our shit is expensive:Please no whining
I don’t care if you’re a billionaire:Everyone must wait in line
I know you came from the beach but please, for the health and safety of others:
Put your shirt back on
Contrary to popular belief:The Cashiers Have Feelings Too
If you’re on the phonewhile checking out:
We will assume all of
your produce is of the
expensive variety
We work here:We know the prices