TOMNET TelegraphTOMNET Telegraph

April 2013 ‘older men supporting older men’older men supporting older men’

This is recited every week at TOMNET on WEDNESDAY. It sounds wonderful!

But it is the doing, not just the saying, that counts.

What does it really mean to be a TOMNET

member?

TOMNET is not a building, nor just a Wednesday meeting or an occasional bus trip. Historically, a TOMNET member took responsibility for himself, and responsibility for supporting other older men. That’s the “growing and changing, giving and receiving” part of the Pledge. That’s the TOMNET slogan in action – Older men supporting older men. That’s mateship.

How well are doing this now?

TOMNET offers opportunities to bring older men together to build relationships of true mateship. These fellowship bonds mean that your TOMNET mates can be relied on to support you when you need it.

Next time you meet another older man, make a positive effort to get to know him. Not just superficially. Listen. Learn something about him and ask how he’s travelling. Look out for someone new, help him to meet others. Help him “belong”.

That’s the “passion for living, learning and loving” in action with the satisfying benefits of “growing and changing”.

Some more opportunities for “daring and hoping, for growing and changing

� Know a bloke on his own? Phone him each week

� See an old bloke down the street? Say G’day, ask him how he is travelling?

� Drop a note regularly to a bloke who is isolated

� Introduce someone you know to another TOMNET bloke, invite him for coffee, an outing, a movie…

Every TOMNET member can do something for some-one, or even for some-two. That’s the “vision of faith in ourselves” bit.

Just imagine. If we all committed ourselves to making regular contacts with only one other older bloke we could reach out to 1000 older men around South West Queensland.

Let’s put the “bite” into our Pledge recitations.

223 Hume Street

Toowoomba South QLD 4350

The TOMNET Pledge: Nice to recite, but does it have any bite?

The TOMNET Pledge

As the TOMNET community spreads its influence and assistance

to other older men throughout South-West Queensland

may we have passion for living, learning and loving,

the courage for daring and hoping,

for growing and changing,

the capacity for giving and receiving,

and the strength to live the TOMNET values

of courtesy, healing and peace,

and a vision of faith in ourselves.

www.tomnet.org.au

Page 2

Chit ChatChit Chat

LOURDES INJUNE PITTSWORTH FREEDOM LONGREACH

Think about it – the next time you're

called a GOOSE it could be a compliment

Lessons from Geese

Fact 1: As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier

because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

Fact 2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into flying formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation

with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact3: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point opposite.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing

leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other’s skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements

of gifts, talents or resources.

Fact 4: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In

groups where there is encouragement the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by

one’s heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact 5: When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by

each other in difficult times, as well as when we

are strong.

Nat King Cole still lives! TOMNET member Ken

Elborne’s recent delightful program of nostalgic songs was warmly received at a recent TOMNET on

WEDNESDAY. He is a member of the Darling Downs Mens Barbershop Chorus. They will be entertaining us at our Mothers Day concert in May.

A dozen or more TOMNET-ers, including Ted Luck (pictured), took advantage of Debbie Keleher’s on-the-

spot hearing tests one Wednesday last month. Debbie is from Australian Hearing, a Federal Government initiative providing a variety of hearing aids for pensioners and

veterans.

March marked the anniversary of the founding of Lifeline in Sydney 50 years ago. Begun by Wesley Mission,

Lifeline now operates in 19 countries. In Oz, Lifeline centres answered 541,450 calls in 2012.

STARTLING STATISTIC: Suicide by male

Queenslanders older than 50 years rose from 121 in 2000 to 150 in 2009. That’s an average of three each week, and is “only cases with the level of probability that death was

due to suicide categories as Probable or Beyond Reasonable Doubt.” It highlights again the importance of

TOMNET’s proactive suicide prevention and counselling activities.

Easter has just past. ANZAC Day looms. Both highlight

service and sacrifice. The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the foundation of Christian faith. That’s why, for Christians, Easter is a time of contemplation and

celebration. ANZAC Day reminds us of the heroes and horrors of war and its aftermath. Both events warrant a

pause for reflection

QUOTABLE: A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Solomon).

www.tomnet.org.au

Page 3

TOMNET’S FUTURE – CHALLENGING AND EXCITING

TOMNET has achieved many successes in its first 11 years. It has grown to a size greater than ever anticipated. With that have come the benefits but also the risks encountered by a fast-growing organisation.

In the past year, we have been reviewing TOMNET’s structures. Now is the time to re-emphasise our core purpose, consolidate our resources, produce effective plans for the future, and thus ensure the delivery of our agreement with government. The funding bodies are clearly challenging us to demonstrate the value of every dollar they provide to support us – and quite rightly so.

1. The Management Committee’s planning meeting this month agreed to focus on the following in the next 12 months:

2. Rebuilding and communicating our culture – where our members’ responsibilities are first with themselves, then to care for other older men. This will influence the way our gatherings and programs are delivered.

3. Restructuring the Management Committee to work towards a skill-based board to help position TOMNET for the future. We will actively seek within our membership and/or the community men with skills in such areas as Accountancy, Human Resources, Business Management, Not-for-Profit sector, to help us design a sustainable future for TOMNET by the next AGM.

4. Supporting the General Manager in reviewing programs delivered, staffing resources, roles and responsibilities, and service agreements to ensure we are meeting TOMNET’s core business and service agreements. This may see some changes to our structure.

5. Reactivating member-driven volunteer programs so that our members take an active role in co-ordinating our programs and events.

The Management Committee sees this as both challenging and exciting, an opportunity to re-invigorate TOMNET to focus on men looking after themselves, each other, and caring for and supporting other older men in our community.

NUBEENA DALBY CROWS NEST MITCHELL WESTHAVEN

Management Committee in actionManagement Committee in action

Team Members Needed Team Members Needed

Are you willing to put your hand up?

� Yukana Mens Group

� Nubeena Mens Group Team Leader: Les Banks, phone 4634 3571 Email: lindabanks46@hotmail.co

� Lourdes Mens Group Team Leader:Nev Bambrick, phone 4636 1429 Email: obos47@aapt.net.au

� Freedom Aged Care

� Westhaven Mens Group Team Leader: John Erbs, phone 0418 880 204 Email: jterbs@gmail.com

We need 10 volunteers for the aged care visiting teams for 1-2 hrs a month for 12 months.

A Job Description is available from the TOMNET Centre, so if your commitment is ‘caring for others’ you are the one we want. Contact the TOMNET Centre and join a team today. Meeting dates see page 5.

www.tomnet.org.au

It is months away but TOMNET’s R U OK? Day convenor Ian Yeates wants everybody to book the date on their calendars now. The venue will again be Newtown Park.

How did R U OK? Day begin? Ian explains: It was started by the late Gavin Larkin, a decision spurred, in part, by his father’s suicide in 1995 and his own battle with depression. He told an ABC interviewer, “I had all the trophies and a lot of success, but not a lot of joy. I was pretty depressed and I was concerned because my father had taken his own life 15 years before. I was worried if I didn’t do anything to sort out my problems that before you know it I might be considering what he did.”

This in spite of a successful career as an advertising executive. What he did was launch R U OK? Day.

In February 2010 Mr Larkin was diagnosed with stage four lymphoma and underwent 16 rounds of chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants. In July doctors told him there was nothing else they could do. He is survived by his wife Maryanne and children Guys, Josie and Van. His legacy? R U OK? Day.

R U OK? Day set for Sept 12

Page 4

Thank you to the men who have taken up some of the positions below, we hope your time with us is enjoyable.

However, more help in some areas is always needed.

Some of the volunteer positions below are becoming desperate for help, if you can offer some of your time

please call 4638 9080.

Reception Duties - Tuesday afternoon, noon till 4pm

Light Handyman Duties - setting and packing up for

the weekly meetings, odd jobs

Catering - Light lunches, morning/afternoon tea

preparation

Mentoring - Flexi School, working with the students

Vegie gardening - at the Flexi School and TOMNET

Centre

Newsletter Folders - preparing newsletters for mailing

Any help you can give is appreciated.

LOURDES INJUNE PITTSWORTH FREEDOM LONGREACH

Positions VacantPositions Vacant Outreach newsOutreach news

HAVE YOUR HAIR CUT AT TAFE FOR FREE

To make an appointment

phone the Salon on

4694 1660

Please bear in mind many of the students are only learning the trade and are very young and impressionable.

Also be mindful of your comments and conversation while sitting in the chair. After all, they hold the scissors!

Please do not jeopardise the service TAFE has offered ‘free’ to TOMNET members by inappropriate

conversation or comments.

Volunteer Journalist for

TOMNET Telegraph

• Do you have a knack for writing stories?

• Do you have a background in journalism or just

keen to write articles?

• Would you be prepared to attend and report on

TOMNET gatherings and events?

The TOMNET Telegraph needs your expertise.

TOMNET is having a competition to find a dedicated journalist to make the TOMNET Telegraph even better. If you are interested, please submit an article of 250

words on a topic of your choice to helen@tomnetinc.org.

Entries will be accepted until Friday April 20th 2013. Contributions may be edited.

TAFE HaircutsTAFE Haircuts

www.tomnet.org.au

The Millmerran Men’s Health Expo was a great success.

MOMnet catered for 60 guests but the number exceeded all expectations.

Well done, gentlemen of Millmerran and surrounding areas.

We were treated to speakers who told us about diabetes, hearing loss, dementia and values of checking labels on food stuffs. Some very interesting topics gave us something to think about later.

The men enjoyed a lovely healthy lunch and concluded the day by swapping seats to get to know some new friends.

The next Health Expo will be held at the Pittsworth Town Hall on Thursday, April 11 2013,

from 9am to 3pm. Many service providers will be represented on the day.

If you would like any further information please contact

the TOMNET Centre on 4638 9080 or Helen Blanch

Community Health Nurse, on 4695 3123.

More Help Needed

Page 5

NUBEENA DALBY CROWS NEST MITCHELL WESTHAVEN

TOMNET on WEDNESDAYS

St. Paul’s Lutheran Church Hall

Cnr Phillip & James Streets,

From 1.30

until

3.30pm

Afternoon Tea will be provided.

All

older men regardless of their circumstances are welcome to attend our meetings and the TOMNETCentre

Catherine Beutel

‘Recycling’

Peter Nightingale

Life Line ‘Gambling Help’

All About Wood ‘Wood working Display’

Andy Mullin Military Support Officer

‘Serving in Afghanistan’

Coming Events at TOMNETComing Events at TOMNET

If you are interested in attending any of the advertised

events please call the Centre for further information. APRIL 2013 11th TOOWOOMBA SHOW TOMNET Centre CLOSED 25th ANZAC DAY Wreath laying at Mothers Memorial

TOMNET Centre CLOSED

MAY 2013 8th MOTHERS DAY CONCERT ` Entertainment Darling Downs Mens Barbershop Chorus

JUNE 2013 BUS TRIP.

Details in May Telegraph

April at TOMNET April at TOMNET

3rd

10th

17th

24th

Date: 12th April 2013

Time: 10.00 - 11.30am (Morning Tea included)

Venue: St Bartholomew’s Church (In the grounds of Symes Thorpe Nursing Home -

Entry off Stenner Street)

Facilitators: Rob Brabrook

Vince Little Tristan Mentor

Most people seem to agree that men are not very good at sharing their feelings, particularly when it

comes to very personal issues.

The Men at Work group is designed to help men deal with life issues that have remained unresolved.

All discussions are confidential.

This will also provide an opportunity to share with others who may have similar issues.

Men At Work Group for 2013Men At Work Group for 2013

Diary Dates for AprilDiary Dates for April

Westhaven Men’s Group 4th April 1.30 - 3.30pm

Men at Work Group 12th April 9.30 - 11.30am

Nubeena Men’s Group 9th April 10 - 11.30am

Promotional Sub Committee 9th April 1.30pm - 3pm

Management Committee 17th April (Formal Meeting) 10am - 1pm

Freedom Aged Care Men’s Group 17th April 10 - 11am

Yukana Men’s Group 29th April 2.30 - 3pm

Volunteer Training 26th April 9.30am - 12.00pm

Lourdes Men’s Group 25th (Holiday) 11.30am - 1pm

Policy Sub - Committee 25th (Holiday) 10.30 - 11.30am

Information on venues for all meetings can be obtained from the TOMNET Centre on 4638 9080

Discussion for April ‘LONELINESS’

www.tomnet.org.au

Page 6 ROMA YUKANA TOOWOOMBA OAKEY HIGHFIELDS

If you would like to play a quiet game of cards

and meet some new mates come to the TOMNET Centre

Monday mornings 9.00 - 11.30am

However, if Chess is more your game, Wednesday mornings might suit you. We have

experienced Chess players who will be happy to spend some quiet time with you.

Scrabble sets are also available.

Morning tea included

The Older Mens Network 223 Hume Street

South Toowoomba

Thursday Mornings between 9.30am and 12 noon, at the TOMNET Centre, are reserved for the tinkle of teaspoons and chatter of men discussing tractors, machinery, trucks, sheep, old school days, shearing, almost any topic is fair game for these men. Often a guest speaker will come along and reminisce with the men with stories of older times. If you have an interest or a hobby you would like to share, no matter what it is, please make yourself known at one of the Chew the Fat get-togethers. You are always welcome. More information can be obtained from the Centre by calling 4638 9080

TOOWOOMBA Show Holiday TOOWOOMBA Show Holiday

Mother’s Day ConcertMother’s Day Concert

CHEW the FAT will not be held

on

April 11th as the

TOMNET Centre will be

CLOSED for the

Toowoomba Show

Holiday.

www.tomnet.org.au

TOMNET on WEDNESDAY St Pauls Lutheran Hall

Phillip St

Mothers Day Concert

8th May

Entertainment by

Darling Downs Mens Barbershop Chorus

Ladies Welcome

Afternoon tea provided

Please Note:

A Morning tea to welcome New Members to TOMNET will be held at the TOMNET Centre on Friday, April 5th 2013 at 10am till 11.30am. Come along and meet other new members of The Older Men’s Network. This is also a chance to meet the TOMNET Staff, and find out a bit more about your organisation.

Page 7 INGLEWOOD TARA MILLMERRAN GOONDIWINDI

Before he rode into the sunset, Lloyd Enkelmann gave a parting reminder to Men at Work to focus on its core

business:

‘’A man’s social isolation and loneliness can be altered

by sharing something of himself with his peers for

TOMNET is a community of conversation of talking, listening

and simply being there, connected, engaged,

with a true sense of belonging as a contributor and a beneficiary”

Someone else has put it this way:

“No one can develop freely in this world and find a full life

without feeling understood by at least one person.

He who would see himself clearly must open up to a

confidant freely chosen and worthy of such trust” (P. Tournier M.D.)

Men at Work meets once a month at St Bartholomew’s Church (in the grounds of Symes Thorpe Nursing Home –

entry at the eastern end of Stenner Street). The group usually meets on the second Friday of each month between

10.00 and 11.30am. A particular topic is selected for each meeting to be used as a vehicle for our conversation. Fliers

advertising these meetings are available at TOMNET on WEDNESDAYS.

These conversations are designed to achieve our goal: ‘older men supporting older men’ .

This brings us to the actual Work of the group: creating a climate of safety, confidentiality, respect and trust.

Here are a few guidelines:

1. Treat this group as a private conversation – don’t repeat elsewhere what others have shared here.

2. This group is for discussion and support, not debate. No one is right, no one is wrong.

3. Talk about yourself and your own experience. Ask questions of others but don’t challenge or criticise the

validity of their experience.

4. Sharing your feelings or experiences is always optional. If you don’t want to speak in the group just say ‘pass’.

If you do wish to share, disclose only as much as is comfortable for you.

5. Listen. Hear what the other person is saying. Let them finish talking and think before you react. Realise that the

same word or phrase may mean different things to different people.

6. As far as possible keep comments brief and to the point so that everyone has a chance to speak.

7. Encourage people to be gentle with themselves and others. This includes respecting our differences. We each

have our own unique history, memories, stresses, high and low points, levels of support, and ways of coping.

The current Facilitators of Men at Work are Rob Brabrook, Vince Little and Tristan Mentor.

Please let us know if our processes are working for you.

Men at Work Group:Men at Work Group:focus on discussion and support, not debatefocus on discussion and support, not debate

www.tomnet.org.au

New Members Morning tea

Page 8 LOURDES INJUNE PITTSWORTH FREEDOM LONGREACH

The colours you have to choose from are Navy or Navy! Polo shirts, Cap and Vest and a light blue for the dress shirt. The photography does not do the colours justice. They all can be ordered now from the TOMNET Centre. Payment would be appreciated when you place an order. All garments display the TOMNET Logo and web site on them, and are on display at the TOMNET Centre in Hume Street.

Dress Shirt $45.00

Non Iron – easy to care for.

Fleecy Vest $33.00.

Front zip

Polo Shirt $28.00

With/without a pocket

Cap $12.00

Adjustable fit.

TOMNET Shirts/Caps and VestsTOMNET Shirts/Caps and Vests

www.tomnet.org.au

Page 9

NUBEENA DALBY CROWS NEST MITCHELL WESTHAVEN

Men’s Health IssuesMen’s Health Issues JawJaw--dropping Factsdropping Facts

Laurie’s LarfsLaurie’s Larfs

Does your fitness routine go into hibernation during the colder months? It doesn't have to. There are plenty of ways to stay active and prevent weight gain during winter. When you're busy and tired during the colder months, it's easy to put off exercise till tomorrow. But sticking to a regular fitness routine is vital if you want to stay in shape and take care of your health.

The two biggest challenges associated with exercise during winter are finding a place to train – outdoors, indoors or at home – and finding the motivation to stay active.

There is usually no reason why you can't continue a wide range of activities all year round, provided the weather isn't extreme. It really depends on the type of activity you enjoy.

You just need to:

• Wear suitable clothing. Fabrics that keep

moisture away from your skin will prevent you becoming wet and chilled. Walkers and joggers should wear brightly coloured or reflective clothing to increase visibility.

• Wear a hat. When going out in the cold, it is

advisable to wear a hat. About one-third of your body's heat loss occurs through the head.

• Dress in layers. Wear plenty of light layers so you

can gradually peel them off as you become warm. You should be a little cool starting out. Avoid sweating, as you may become chilled.

• Exercise caution. Beware of slippery surfaces,

and exercise in daylight whenever possible. Anticipate that drivers may not be able to see you or stop quickly. It's also wise to perform a longer warm-up in cold conditions.

• Keep your fluid levels up. Drinking water

regularly is just as important during winter as it is in summer. Cold weather stimulates urine production, and every breath you can see is water droplets being exhaled from your body.

Communicate any concerns with your doctor. Some medical conditions make winter exercise dangerous. Exercising in cold weather can bring on angina (heart-related chest pain), and may trigger asthma in asthmatics. Check first with your doctor if you have any concerns, especially if you are older or have been sedentary for more than two months.

Part 2 ‘INDOOR EXERCISE’ in the MAY issue.

Part 1 - OUTDOOR EXERCISE for the winter months

By Andrew Cate

www.tomnet.org.au

Money can’t buy happiness..

But it does bring you a more pleasant form of

misery. Spike Milligan

Until I was 13, I thought my name was SHUT UP. Joe Namath

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon.

Then it’s time for my nap. Bob Hope

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation.

As you get older, it will avoid you. Winston Churchill

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step.

He’s too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal

The Cardiologist’s Diet: If it tastes

good, spit it out.

After many years of entertaining us with his “Useless Information,” Don has decided to give his column away.

We thank him for the many smiles he gave us when we read his little tit-bits.

• For 186 days you can not see the sun in

the North Pole.

• The planets Mercury, Venus, Mars,

Jupiter and Saturn are visible to the naked

eye.

• If the sun stopped shining suddenly, it

would take eight minutes for people on

earth to be aware of the fact. This is

because the sunlight takes around 8

minutes to reach the earth.

• Approximately 40,000 tons of meteoric dust hits the

earth each year.

• Even on the clearest night, the human eye can only see

about 3,000 stars. There are an estimated

100,000,000,000 in our galaxy alone!

SPONSORS

Postal Address: PO Box 7801 Toowoomba South Qld, 4350 Phone: 07 4638 9080 Fax: 07 4638 9084 E-Mail: tomnet05@tomnetinc.org Website: www.tomnet.org.au

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TOMNET is very grateful for the generous support and

assistance provided by

BURSTOWS

in the printing of this Newsletter. Northlands Hot Bread

Edition Deadline Distribution Week

May 2013 20 April 2012 7 May 2013

Articles for the March Telegraph must be received by the deadline date.

www.tomnet.org.au