P A G E 4 T H E B I O G R A N D E R A T T L E R

T H E R I O G R A N D E R A T T L E R

P u b l i s h e d "Weekly at O d d P l a c e s i n T e x a s . By the

N e w Y o r k D i v i s i o n , U n i t e d States A r m y with the authority of

Major General John P . O'Ryan Colonel Harry H . Bandholtz

Chief of Staff

Letters and news items from the camps along the Border are solicited. Advertising Bates

Furnished on request. Subscription Bates

One year . . . . . . . . . $2.00 Single Copy .05

, Post Office Address, McAl len, Texas,

Managing Editor Major /Frankl in W. Ward, Asst. Chief of Staff

Major Fred M . Waterbury, Div. Ord Officer Lieut. Samuel J,"Fisher, 12th Infantry Private Howard Irving Young, 7th Infantry P r i v . Stuart J . Saks, 1st Cavalry

' Private Donald Emery, 3rd Ambulance Co. Lieutenant Gordon Grant, 7th Infantry

Capt. A L :~L;Howe, Signal Corps F i r s t Lieut. Percy E . Barbonr, Corps of Engineers First Lieut. Wheeler C Case, A i d , 3rd Brigade Lieutenant James L . Baker, 3rd Tennessee Infantry P r i v . Edward Streeter, 1st Cavalry Private A , F . Jenks, Jr . , Troop A , Squadron A , Corporal Hanoel F. Behar, 12th Infantry Corp. Joseph T. McMahon, 7th Infantry

Editor Asst. Editor Asst. Editor

Sporting Editor A r t Editor.

Special A r t i s t

Associate Editor Associate Editor Associate Editor

Associate Editor. Associate Editor

Associate Editor. Associate Editor Associate Editor

The President's Letter T o Gov. Whitman

PERSONALS

Corpl. Fred B . Barton, 1st Cavalry Lieut. Col. H . 8. Sternberger, D iv . Q. M . Pr iv . Ralph W. Fredsall, 2nd Fie /d Art i l lery

Business Manager Circulation Manager

Asst. Circulation Manager

W E D N E S D A Y , O C T O B E R 18, 1916

T H E C O M B A T F I R I N G A T L A G L O R I A

N o doubt the combat f i r i n g g o i n g on at L a G l o r i a is the most i n ­t e r e s t i n g w o r k the D i v i s i o n has engaged i n s ince i t s a r r i v a l on the B o r d e r . A f e w comments o n the c h a r a c t e r o f the t r a i n i n g , w h a t i s s o u g h t to be accompl i shed , a n d some o f the e r r o r s to be a v o i d e d , s h o u l d prove t i m e l y a n d i n t e r e s t i n g .

A s the D i v i s i o n C o m m a n d e r has f r e q u e n t l y t o l d us , the N e w Y o r k I n f a n t r y is the N e w Y o r k D i v i s i o n — t h e N e w Y o r k D i v i s i o n i s the N e w Y o r k I n f a n t r y — t h e rest are the accessories. I f the D i v i s i o n i s " l i c k e d " i t means t h a t the i n f a n t r y has been defeated . J f the i n f a n t r y i s " l i c k e d " i t means t h a t the N e w Y o r k D i v i s i o n has been de feated , u p m a t t e r w h a t l o c a l successes the a u x i l i a r y a r m * m a y have h a d .

' A f t e r three years o f e d u c a t i o n a l e f f o r t t h e t e a m s p i r i t o f the N e w ^Tork D i v i s i o n is such t h a t the a u x i l i a r y a rms n o w t a k e m o r e p r i d e i n t h e i r p r o p e r ro le t h a n t h e y ever d i d i n t h e i r f o r m e r m i s g u i d e d i n d e ­pendence of i dea l s a n d of ef fort .

A l l H a i l , the I n f a n t r y — T h e Q u e e n o f B a t t l e -A l l the N e w Y o r k D i v i s i o n respect the h i k i n g , s w e a t i n g , n d n

d r i n k i n g , n o n - s w e a r i n g , s t r a i g h t - s h o o t i n g i n f a n t r y . W h y is the I n f a n t r y so i m p o r t a n t ? Because of the completeness

of i t s h u m a n side. T h e f i e l d a r t i l l e r y re l i es i n l a r g e measure u p o n t h e effectiveness o f i t s g u n s — m a n ' s i n v e n t i o n ; the c a v a l r y u p o n i t s h o r s e s — a l o w e r o r d e r o f a n i m a l ; the o ther a u x i l i a r i e s u p o n t h e i r spec ia l dev i ces—al l the c r e a t i o n o f m a n . T h e i n f a n t r y rel ies above a l l u p o n i t s m e n — G o d ' s creat ions . So i n the i n f a n t r y we m u s t have

' -stout hearts ) t ireless legs, pat ience , c l e a r eyes, u n f a l t e r i n g d e t e r m i n a ­t i o n , i n d i v i d u a l a n d co l l e c t ive expertness o f combat t e chn ique , a n d d i s c i p l i n e , d i s c i p l i n e , a n d m o r e d i s c i p l i n e . I n the a u x i l i a r y a r m s the m e n serve t h e i r devices . I n the i n f a n t r y the r i f l e a n d the bayonet serve the m e n .

A t L a G l o r i a the i n f a n t r y i s p a r t i c i p a t i n g i n exerc ises w h i c h d e m ­onstrate to the m e n the d o m i n a t i n g i m p o r t a n c e o f the h u m a n element i n f i r e effectiveness. T h e y are schoo led i n the t h o u g h t t h a t the i n d i v i d u a l t r a i n i n g i n the use of the r i f l e is b u t the k i n d e r g a r t e n of f i r e c o n t r o l . T h a t the" f i re u n i t becomes f o r m i d a b l e o n l y w h e n i t s powers

' o f d e s t r u c t i o n can be r e a d i l y c o n t r o l l e d , — t h a t i s , s h i f t e d i n d i r e c t i o n i n c r e a s e d o r decreased i n vo lume , concentrated o r e x p a n d e d i n d i s t r i ­b u t i o n , opened or suspended w i t h r a p i d i t y .

O n the r i f le range the s o l d i e r has a k n o w n t a r g e t a n d a k n o w n range . I n combat f i r i n g as i n combat i t s e l f these f a c t o r s are u n ­k n o w n . T h e effectiveness o f f i r e i n combat i s no t dependent u p o n " h o l d i n g " a n d " squeeze , ' * b u t u p o n reconnaissance a n d re cogn i t i on o f t h e target , choice o f the target , i n i t i a t i v e i n o p e n i n g f i r e , s t r e n g t h o f t h e f i r i n g l ine i n r e l a t i o n t o the s u p p o r t , k i n d o f f i r e to be e m p l o y e d , m e t h o d o f advance , u t i l i z a t i o n o f the g r o u n d a n d s e c u r i t y o f the a d ­vance .

To i l l u s t r a t e the i m p o r t a n c e o f these cons iderat ions c o m p a r e d w i t h mere expertness of h i t t i n g a b u l l ' s - e y e at k n o w n ranges , le t the reader assume t w o companies of one h u n d r e d men each. One c o m p a n y i s c o m p r i s e d of e i g h t y e x p e r t r i f l emen, t e n o r d i n a r y shots a n d t e n w h o l l y inexper i enced shots. T h e o ther i s composed o f e i g h t y o r d i ­n a r y shots, t en exper t r i f l emen a n d t en w h o l l y i n e x p e r i e n c e d m e n . T h e y enter combat a n d each a t tempts to g a i n f i r e s u p e r i o r i t y o v e r t h e e n e m y " i n i t s a s s i g n e d f r o n t .

E a c h company c o m m a n d e r est imates the r a n g e to be 1050 y a r d s . I n r e a l i t y i t is 1000 y a r d s . T h e companies a re f i r i n g w i t h the same r a p i d i t y of f i r e . , O w i n g to the n a t u r e of the f o r e g r o u n d i t i s impos ­s ible t o spot the shots. A f t e r f i v e m i n u t e s o f f i r i n g each eomipany has expended 2500 r o u n d s of a m m u n i t i o n . N o w cons ider the resu l t s .

I n the c o m p a n y of experts the h i t s a re p r a c t i c a l l y n i l , w h i l e i n the c o m p a n y composed o f o r d i n a r y shots a s u b s t a n t i a l n u m b e r o f h i t s have been made. T h i s w i l l become c l e a r w h e n i t i s c ons idered t h a t the exper t s set t h e i r s i g h t s a c c u r a t e l y a t 1050 y a r d s , h e l d s t e a d i l y , a n d hence t h e i r shots s t r u c k at t h a t range . B u t t h i s w a s 50 y a r d s be­y o n d the enemy. T h e o r d i n a r y shots d i d n o t set t h e i r s ights so ac­c u r a t e l y , d i d no t h o l d so s t e a d i l y a n d hence s p r a y e d a zone perhaps one h u n d r e d y a r d s shor t a n d one h u n d r e d y a r d s over the i n d i c a t e d r a n g e o f 1050 y a r d s . T h e " s h o r t s " w o u l d h a v e consequent ly beaten the area covered b y the enemy, a n d so have been effective. A s a m a t ­t e r of fact , i n t n e c o m p a n y w i t h the e ighty exper ts , the o n l y h i t s w o u l d have been made by the t en o r d i n a r y shots.

A t L a - G l o r i a , ' ' p r a c t i c a l demonst ra t i ons a re b e i n g g i v e n d a i l y o f the s u p e r i o r inf luence of f i r e c o n t r o l , f i r e d i s t r i b u t i o n a n d f i r e r a p i d ­i t y , i n d e t e r m i n i n g f i r e effectiveness over mere t a r g e t range exper t ­ness.

T h e w o r k is i n charge of .Major . George P . C h a n d l e r , B r i g a d e A d ­j u t a n t , F i r s t B r i g a d e , w h o i s f u l l y f a m i l i a r w i t h t h e D i v i s i o n C o m m a n ­d e r ' s v iews on the methods o f c o n d u c t i n g combat f i r ing ' , a n d w h o is p r o v i d i n g a course o f u n u s u a l interest to the troops .

Shadow Lawn, Long Branch, N . J . October Oth, 1916.

My Dear Governor Whitman: I have received your letter of Sep­

tember 20 and have taken* up with the Secretary of War the situation as it affects the presence of New York troops on the Border. From the be­ginning of the difficulty which ne­cessitated the call for the mil i t ia , I have been deeply sensitive of the inconvenience caused to the members of these citizen mil itary organisations because of their sep­aration from their families and from their ordinary business en­gagements and pursuits.

In order to minimize these sac­rifices the War Department is send­ing to the border from time to time mil i t ia which,, have not participated in the service there, and as each fresh contingent goes to the bor­der, General Funston selects for re­turn to their home stations and mus­tering out of such units as in his judgment, can best be spared. This policy wi l l distribute this duty over as wide an area as possible and make i ts burden fa l l as equally as is practicable upon the organized milit ia forces. It has already re­sulted in the return of a number ol New York organizations.

The Fourteenth and Seventy-first in ­fantry and the f irst brigade headquart­ers are at present in their state armor­ies preparing to muster out.

The Third infantry in the state mobilization camp is going to muster out, the Second Infantry is preparing en route from the border to the state mobilization camp, also for mustering out.

The First Ambulance Company and the First Regiment of Field Arti l lery, have been designated to return from the border to their state mobilization camps'for muster out and the First Aero Company was not sent to the bor­der, but mustered out at Mineola, N . Y ,

Thus a substantial number of New York contingent either have been, or are i n course of being released from the federal service at this time and as other forces are sent to the border, i t may be well that General Funston wi l l find* i t possible to afford our New York militia, even further relief.

Emergency St i l l Exists. The emergency which led to the call

of the mil i t ia was, as defined in my call of Jane IS, the possibility of aggres^on from Mexico, and the protection of our frontier. This emergency st i l l unhap­pily exists and I am advised by the military authorities that the withdraw­al of the mil it ia at any time from the date of its original call up to, and ' in­cluding the present, 'would in all human likelihood have been followed by fresh aggressions from Mexico upon the lives and the property of the people of the -United States. The mil it ia have there­fore been used and are being used to repel invasion and are rendering ser­vices of the highest quality -and most urgently needed character for their country.

It would, of course, be impossible to set a date at -which the release of the remaining! New York units enn with certainly be. accomplished. I am hap­py, however, to believe that conditions in Northern Mexico are improving and that in the near future we will be able to do even more than what has been done to relieve the embarrassments un­der which these organised mil it ia regi­ments have necessarily suffered.

I share your admiration, my dear governor, for the spirit in which these men have served and are serving their country and would be very sorry to have i t supposed that their retention on the border is for any mere purpose of completion of their military train­ing or any less commanding purpose than the preservation of our frontier from aggression.

Very truly yours, (Signed) WOODROW W I L S O N ,

Major James E . Schuyler, 7th Infan­try, left McAllen, Wednesday, Oct. 11, for New York City oh a thirty day leave of absence.

Major Schuyler, and Major George F. Chandler, Adjutant, 1st Brigade were relieved as members of the Examining Board for Officers of Infantry and L t . Col. Reginald L . Foster, 12th Infantry and Captain Wade H . Hayes, 7th In fantry were appointed to succeed them on the board.

Major Cornelius Vanderbilt left Sun­day for a 30-day furlough to New York. His position as Inspector of the N . Y . Division wi l l be filled during his ab­sence by Major Al lan L . Reagan. Ma­jor Reagan qualified for this position through a period as acting Inspector back in New York last spring. During his stay in McAllen and until two weeks ago, Major Reagan fulfilled the many duties of Division Adjutant.

TRUE BLUE By Frederick T , Cardoze, Author of " T i n '

Advices received by Col. H . 8. Stern­berger, Division Quartermaster, bring the cheery news that Col. Thurston is improving steadily and reported in per­son at Headquarters in the Manhattan Municipal Building twice last week.

And that Major I J . Leslie K i n -caid, heretofore and hereafter Judge Advocate, New York Division, haa ab­sented himself from hence by and with so-called official sanction and permis­sion, said sanction and permisison be­ing 'contained in a leave of absence of the twenty day variety or species and that the destination of the aforesaid Judge Advocate is a distant clime where court-martials are unknown and uncared for. A l l this at McAllen on Sunday, the loth of October, 1916.

Captain Herrick Curry and Major D. Smith of the French Foreign Legion and F . C, have returned to New York City after two years of fighting in Belgium. Both of these officers are planning to journey to Texas and con­nect themselves with one of the N . Y . regiments stationed here.

Major Franklin W . Ward, Assistant Chief of Staff, Is expected to arrive in McAllen to-day. The Managing Editor of The Battler is returning from a thirty day leave of absence. We wil l welcome him back to our midst and to the office of the Battler, which has added four rattles to its ta i l since the Major left these parts.

Major Fred M . Waterbury, Editor of The Rattler, is l iving up to his reputa­tion as expert sharpshooter and Captain of the Empire State Rif le Team at Jacksonville, Florida. *

Dedicated to the Soldiers of the New York Division who have C a m p i n g a n d m a r c h i n g , t h a t ' s a l l , N o t a n o r d e r to c h a r g e o r r e t r e a t , N o t a v o l l e y o r c a v a l r y s k i r m i s h , N o t a v i c t o r y o r a de feat . T h a t ' s h o w i t s tood o n the B o r d e r ' T i l a r o o k i e accused t h e m o f f r i g h t .

H e a s k e d t h e m w h a t k i n d o f a s o l d i e r P r e f e r r e d l y i n g ' r o u n d , t o a f i g h t f

A chap w i t h a deep , b u r n i n g eye , * T h e k i n d t h a t a f e v e r has c l a i m e d . P a l e , over t h i n a n d r u n d o w n B u t possessed o f a s p i r i t u n t a m e d , G o t u p f r o m the co t w h e r e h e l a y A n d c r a w l e d to the s ide o f the f o o l ; W h o h a d m e a s u r e d b o t h w a r f a r e a n d m e n N o t b y the f a c t , b u t b y r u l e .

- . " F i g h t ? Y e s w e ' r e fighting," s a i d he , " I n the w a y t h a t a m a n has to fight; honging lor peace a n d f o r h o m e Is the foe t h a t i s p r e s s i n g u s t i g h t . I t f l a n k s us w h e n n i g h t f a l l s a r o u n d A n d entrenches w h e n d a y h a s b e g u n , D a y w i t h i t s s u n , dus t a n d t h i r s t , D a y w i t h i t s t h i r s t , d u s t a n d s u n , " I t t h r o t t l e s the smi l e s i n o u r h e a r t s , I t t o r t u r e s the l i g h t o f o u r b r a i n , Y e t n e v e r a cross, o r a m a r k e r o f stone Is set u p f o r the hopes t h a t are s l a i n ; A n d n e v e r a m e n t i o n o r n a m e

at^ • Is i n s c r i b e d on the p a t r i o t ' s r o l l , t f* • Y e t n e v e r a m u r m u r goes u p f r o m the r a n k s

>*< T h o u g h deep are the scars on o u r s o u l . . F i g h t f Is i t o n l y w i t h s tee l

\. T h a t a s o l d i e r m a y h o n o r h i s n a m e ; , I s t h e flash o f the g l i t t e r i n g s w o r d

T h e l a t c h t o the p o r t a l o f F a m e ? N o , d a m n i t , no , i f ' twere so W e w h o a r e f o r c e d h e r e to d w e l l

• [ W o u l d n e v e r t h a t t h r e s h o l d i n v a d e B u t s l i p t o the c a l d r o n o f H e l l ! " "

• i ' ^ c r y». T h e n the r o o k i e w e n t b a c k to h i s t e n t

A b a s h e d a t the w o r d s t h a t w e r e s a i d , C o n v i n c e d t h a t a m a n i s a m a n W h o i s w i l l i n g , y e t n e v e r h a s b l e d : A n d the s u r g e o n e x a m i n e d the c h a p W h o , h a d s p o k e n , a n d swore ' n e a t h h i s b r e a t h T h e n s tood at a t t e n t i o n a n d w a t c h e d A s he a n s w e r e d t h e r o l l c a l l of D e a t h !

Texas,

OUR H O N O R B O L L .

A w o r k i n g k n o w l e d g e of S p a n i s h w o n t h e l p i n t r a n s l a t i n g the calif o f a s u b w a y g u a r d r

••-"O^ne, m i l l i o n ' m e n between sunrise a n d s u n s e t ! " B u t oh, the d r e a d f u l n i g h t to f o l l o w w h e n a r m e d w i t h p i t c h f o r k s a n d rakes t h e y seek to pro tec t t h e i r camp against the m a c h i n e guns of a n enemy whose motto was " P r e p a r e d n e s s F i r s t ! "

" G U T S "

(Note:—So many favorable com­ments have been made concerning the article in the issue of The Rattler of September 6, entitled ' ' A r e You There?" that we reprint i t , under the above caption.—Editor.)

The thing of all things that has car­ried more individuals to success and more hosts to victory is that quality known vulgarly, but expressively as

guts. ' ' It is not mere enthusiasm, nor courage, nor persistency, nor valor, nor bravery. It par fakes of all these things but i t differs in some respects from al l of them. It is the quality that took the ten thousand Greek mer­cenaries, hundreds of miles through a strange and hostile country and made them sing and beat their shields as they fought and conquered a five fold enemy at the gates of Babylon. The ntangible somthing that works

sharply, the distinction between men and mere human organisms, between kickers and backbiters and soldiers.

To the man with " g u t s " the transi­tion from a pen to a pick is an inci­dent; from a bed to a 'dobe bunk an adventure; from a walk on the avenue to a hike in the cactus, a pleasure; from a tea cart to a mess t in , a picnic.

This life here breeds ' ' g u t s " and red blood! Smile—and take hold as i f you were here forever! ' ' G u t s ' * — is a consummation that never failed man nor organization of men.

CINDERS.

Yearly subscriptions in the order re ccived:

M a j . Cornelius Vanderbilt, D iv . Staff M a j . F. S. Corbett, Corps of Engin

errs. Lieut. Leo F . Knust, 7th Infantry. Capt. Edward F . Dillon, 69th Inf.

,' Colonel George Albert Wingate, 2nd Field Arti l lery. ' Ma j . George E. Roosevelt, 12th Inf.

Capt. Charles E. Fiske, 1st Cavalry. Lieut. Hamilton H . Barnes. 1st Cav. Major Scott Button, 2nd Infantry.. Lieut. Col. Henry S. Sternberger, Div.

Q. M . Capt. Guy Bates, Engineers. Horatio J . Brewer, Spokane, Wash. Cornelius Vanderbilt, J r . , Newport,

B. L Lieut. Col. J . M . Wainwright, Insp.

Gen. Dept. N . Y . Capt. Prentice Strong, N . Y . City. W. J . Comstock, Brooklyn, N . Y . L i e u t Joseph A . Pitts , 2nd Infantry. Sergt. Herbert T. Slingo, Co. B , 7th. Lieut. W. B. Lester, M . G. Troop, 1st

Cavalry. Homer G. Bel l , Motor Truck Co. 35. John G. Jansen, 19S8 Broadwoy, New

York. Lieut. S. A . Stover, Troop L , 1st Cav. Lieut. Col. Edward V . Howard, Asst.

A d j . Gen., Albany, N . Y . Commodore R. P . Forshew, 2 Bector

Street, New York. James M . Heatherton, 700 Putnam

Ave., Brooklyn, N . Y . Major Charles El l iot Warren, Aide-

de-camp to Gen. Daniel Appleton, N . G., N . Y .

Lieut. Col. B . L . Foster, 12th New York Infantry.

Capt. D. M . Hooko, Binghamton, •New York.

W. F . Hutchinson, 120 Broadway, N , Y . City.

Col. Wm. J . Ilann, C. A . C., U . S. A . C o l Chauncey P. Wilinms, D iv . Staff. Capt. Charles Currie, 1st Cavalry.

The Incinerator

A S K N O A H — H E K N O W S .

Close perusal of the roster of the Medical Department at the Camp Hos­pital reveals the fascinating fact that Wilfred W. Anger, Marion O. Graves, Richard Stark, and George J . Ward-well ara on the staff.

truth to be self evi-are (not) created

" W e hold thie dent. A l l men free and equal . "

Some go to Texas with the Guard, some prefer Plattsburg and others at­tend war movies on 14th Street and smoke Mecefts in the 2nd balcony.

The superiority of the ballot over the bullet wi l l be exemplified on November 7th .throughout the length, breadth and

, N e r o f i d d l e d w h i l e R o m e b u r n e d a n d unless we w a t c h out the B i g !• e t j i e B a (latter especially evident at D r i v e - w e s t w a r d w i l l f i n d us c ro che t ing a n d p l a y i n g the p b o n o g r ^ K | § S H & Texas %o7te^ V"*'

Even Noah would have his faceti­ous moments. We do not refer to the first commodore of the M t , Ararat Yacht Club but to the author of that fanciful l i tt le pamphlet " T h e Una­bridged Dict ionary."

Although M r , Webster, to our best knowledge, never served his time in the Guard, assimilate his learned re­marks concerning a subject of moment­ous interest to the citizen soldier, rfl-mor, ru-mour (roo'-mer), n . ( M E . rumour, OF. rumour, F . mincur, L . ru­mor; cf. rumificare, rumitare, to ru­mor, Skr. ru to cry.) 1. A prolonged, indistinct noise. OBS. 4. A story current without any known au­thority for its truth;—in this sense of­ten personified.

Rumor* next, and Chance, . And Tumult, and Confusion, all em­

broiled. John Milton.

H I S D I A R Y . Saturday.—Gosh, i t ' s hard to get up these mornings but i t ' s harder not to when sergeants come running around and hollering. Had inspection again this morning. Forgot my identifica­tion tag. Major was very n ean about it . Said he'd have to guess what species I belonged to. Asked me how they'd know me i f they picked- m« up dead on. battlefield. Told him I didn't worry about that. Wouldn't know myself. Major said, " Y o u ' r e pretty fresh, are-n 't you f ' ' and I said, " Yes, s i r , ' ' and nothing more passed between us—then.

Captain made me orderly to Major later on. Major looked me over and said, " Y o u don't need a tag, I know you now, " and I cleaned his boots and puttees most of the afternoon. A i l the boys went to town. Didn ' t care. Too hot to go anyway. Major asked me at four o 'clock i f I -was st i l l fresh and I said " n o , sir,"because I forgot one pair of boots. He let me off for the rest of the afternoon.

Got a leter from Mabel. She'd been out to Hunter 's Island Inn with J i m in his new car. Said J i m was a won­derful dancer and a "perfect dear, so patriotic about P lat tsburgh . " Also said she was going to Army-Navy game with J im as she didn't think I ' d be home then and J i m likes military spec-tacles so much; Guess I ' l l start writ­ing to Elsie again. Sunday.—Had n narrow escape this morning. Forgot i t was Sunday and said I was too sick to get up at Re­veille. Remembered i t was Day of Best just in time to get on the line.

Went to church this morning. Chap­lain said we should love our enemies. Saw an awful nice looking Mexican girl down town. Chaplain may be " "it..

Joe says the regiment's going home next week. General Funston says no more troops w i l l be recalled now. Guess I ' l l believe Joe unti l next Sun­day. Got a letter from Elsie before I could write her. She said J i m took her op to Tarrytown in his new car. Told her how they suffered at Platts­burgh but that a good soldier ought to die for his eouatry i f necessary. Hope he ' l l f ind it necessary soon. Sent J i m a postal of a bull ''fight* and wrote on it he'd make a great toreador. D i d n ' t write to Elsie after a l l

M »go t

buffa-

Gosh, i t ' l l seem good

C A N T E E N C O N V E R S A T I O N S . " 'Lo , Joe. What 11 yuh h a v e ! " ' ' ' L o , B i l l . Gimme bo'ttln pop. Say

d'jer hear when we're go in ' *oma?" " T o m says f irsts November . " " 'Sat right!" "Dunno . Y ' never c ' n t e l l ,

be here a l l w i n t e r . " " ' A t ' s right. Got 'em a l l

l o c i " " O u t t a t h ' trenches by Christmas

hey I " " Y ' said i t I

t ' get b a c k ! " " W e l l , I guess! Woteha goin ' do

whenvuh get home, J o e ! " "Woteha th inkf W e l l have S O M E

time, h e y ! " " Y o u said i t . S O M E time i s right." " H e a r we're goin* onna hike nex*

week." •«Yeh. so I hear. Pretty t ough . " " 'S l ight . Maybe there's somepiu'

in this November dope." " M a y b e so. 7 'never c ' n telL But

no one knows. I ' L L bettcha t h ' gen-rul don't k n o w . " ft

" ' A t ' s right. Prettjg fierce 'boat Brooklyn h e y ! "

" Y o u said i t ! "

' ' We are fr iendly w i t h every nation under heaven, and every nation desires to be friendly wi th u s , " Charlie Hughes stoutly declared before an audience of Kentucky mountaineers. Of course 150,000 men are encamped along the Southern Border for their own health and pleasure. The Justice wi l l have hit l i t t le joke.

Columbus Day passed unnoticed. " D o you know what to-day i s ? " we asked a guardsman. " S u r e , " he answered mournfully, "regimental de­ta i l and guard duty to-morrow,"

And the lofty-browed author of this best seller defines " f a t i g u e " thusly: " t o weary with labor; to harass with to i l ; to exhaust the strength or endur­ance of; to t i r e . "

In the selfsame handy volume we glean the following; bike, v. i . To hike one's self; specif., to go with exertion or effort; to march laboriously.

Thus doth knowledge wave aloft her flaming torch.

St i l l i f Christopher hadn't perform­ed a parlor trick with a hen's egg we wouldn't be bothered now with presi­dential campaigns and the preparedness propaganda.

As we take i t Carranza is our best friend. Mexican delegates jovially slap the American commissioners on the back and set up another round at the Mnrlborough-BIenheim. Their officers review our troops. We're a l l good l i t ­tle fellows together, aren't we ! Bat V i l l a st i l l roams wi ld with several hun­dred half-starved bandits, some with­out guns, or ammunition, poor things. That, Oswald, is why a hundred thou­sand Guardsmen are mobilized along the Bio Grande. A h , ha, said the Duck, laughing.

G U A R D S M E N T H O R O U G H L Y T R A I N E D B Y BORDER, DUTY.

—Headline. But sometimes i t ' s dangerous to over­

train. Uncle.

• We have also been advised that '"The-withdrawal of the mi l i t ia at any time. . .would in a l l human likelihood have! been followed .by fresh from the merchant ley upon the purs protectors.

aggressions of the Magic Val -

of the country'*"

.What would we do without Hyphens, Borders and Sharp Notes!

S U G G E S T E D I M P R O V E M E N T S O N T E X A S G A M E L A W S .

Male canteen keepers may be ki l led, only with a shot-gun, after Oct. 0.5th.

Season for waiters of both sexes in McAllen wi l l begin Oct. 20th, It is un­lawful to k i l l more than 25 whites in one day or thirty Mexcs. .

There is no closed season on soda-fountain clerks, Mexican boot-blacks, buglers or second lieutenants.

Rome wasn't built in a dnv and New I

We're glad you're glad, Gladys.

W E E K L Y H E A L T H H I N T . Doht drink intoxicating liquors be-re nr after 6 a. m. in McAl len . Mix-

Paul was the complete letter writer of his day, we have it on " g o o d " ' authority. But i t ' s the gospel truth that we never remember seeing the Ephesian side of that voluminous cor* reapondence. We can't even recall reading their White Book. But the honors go to Paul for a diplomatic vie-.

Daniel 's despatches' to the lions would also make interesting reading.

A ; the rumored fatalistic finale of! October relentlessly approaches, we dolefully discover that " t h e emergency-. still unhappily ex i s t s " on the Border— and so do we.

What snith the handbills of the play*. bouses!

'0 so of em er fjen e v, use all . T.-Y.-rV